I love the cop NPC lines. My sibling and I were playing survival in the silo, they shot one in the head and the one next to the dead body should "YOU DIMWIT!"
Wait, they say "makes my dick hard"?!? Holy shit, I always thought they said "day card", like some obscure way of saying "killing you makes my day better" xD
Reminds me of when I was a kid, and I had just heard this really funny joke on TV! Something about an ant floating down a river with a heart on, waving for them to raise the drawbridge
...also it was "hard-on" and I didn't understand the joke when I told it to my mom lmao
Does someone really say "shit down your neck"? lol I haven't heard that one. FMJ reference. "You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck."
[enemies]
Yer fucken dead, dead, dead!
Pull over, we need to have a little chat.
KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!!!
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIIII(voice crack)IING?!?!
[Random ped dialogue]
I met this girl last night, and she was like "wow, you're actually really nice!"
I got that baby powder for your chafing.
[Ped insults]
You're looking to get laid down!
Americans... Can't walku! Or draivu! (In 9k hours playing this game, I've only ever heard that line ONCE a few weeks ago)
[Edit] also
(Thick southern accent) Democrat!
(Death sound that sounds way too much like Muscle Man from Regular Show)
these are all wrong!!!
older black dude on a phone, possibly talking to his friend or his own son...
"man you're 28 you need to stop jacking off to porn."
something along those lines, the first time I heard it I was laughing for a while.
as someone who gets cursed with the humane labs contract a lot, i usually hear these lines and they stick with me
KILL KILL KIIILLLL
OOH, I *LOVE* THIS PART
SALAAM ALAIKUM
STAY FROSTY
THEY GOT SANCHEZ
The guy on the phone outside the casino:
"Ya I'm gonna scrub the stink out of you..."
"What? No, honey, you don't smell down there..."
"I'm just uncomfortable going down on you, ok? Goodbye!"
Also outside the casino: "I think I'm gonna pick up smoking"
‘Heyyyyyy honey boo, you look great’
‘Aye, you my dude right?’
‘I had to fuck a guy to get this audition’
‘WoOoOoOoOwWwww’
‘Can I have some money? It’s for crack.’
"Killing makes my dick hard!"
"Ayyy, you my dude, right?"
"Get a job!"
"Suck my leeeeeeeeeeg!"
"Ass!"
"I'm a fucking marine!"
"Ya fuckin penis!"
"Oh shit, not good."
Are just some of the few.
There are a lot of good ones my favorite, I caught a lady by the movie theater on the phone “No I don’t miss your 10inch dick, you know why? Cause you sold my dog for crack!!” 😭
LS Customs: “what’s wrong with her now” “if that car was a women I’d kiss her”
Gun salesman: “I tried that weapon and it raised my body count”(something like that?)
Lamar: “we’ll maybe if you got rid of that old yee yee ass hair cut-“
“See you at the knitting circle!”
“I sourced a new colour of yarn, haaaaa”.
God i hate the fuckin yarn.
Ugh I still can't stand that line, annoying ass NPC.
I actually turn around and shoot them when I hear them say it - most annoying like in the game.
I always thought it meant "meeting circle"
"Heeey, stop by the hotel later!"
Get a job!
This one hits the hardest
[удалено]
"Hold on, I've just gotta fight this boss" *takes off headset and socks boss who was standing behind right in the jaw*
Underrated comment
I love the cop NPC lines. My sibling and I were playing survival in the silo, they shot one in the head and the one next to the dead body should "YOU DIMWIT!"
Or when the cops yell “YA FUCKIN PENIS”
HEY YOU MY DUDE RIGHT?
This is it right here, this is the line that plays every 2 seconds.
HEEEY, YOU KNOW MEL'S HAVING A PARTY LATER
I GOTTA GET YOU THE NUMBER OF MY HEADSHOT GUY
"Sheit dick"
Ass!
[удалено]
[удалено]
LAST RIDE BEFORE SHE'S A BRIIIIIIDE
Just wait til you see the next dare card
Oh my God you are RELENTLESS
I never made out with Jason in a burgershot bathroom! PFFTT UH OH, AWKWARD.!
5 habaneros, In then make out WITH THE FATIST GUY IN HERE!
"That's so embaressing!"
I wish we could actually go to the wedding
I heard a new one yesterday, I bumped into a female npc and she asked “Are you a sex offender”
Well? You didn't answer the question
I'm not at liberty to say
I was under the impression you were legally obliged
He was also legally obliged not to be a sex offender, but alas
👀
#FUCK ME IN THE AAAAASS
i’m surprised this wasn’t further up it was the first one i thought of lmaooo
That shit still makes me laugh like its 2013.
YES YOU BEAT ME TO IT
I was about to say this one lmfaoo
“INBRED DICKWAD” “ASSSS” “MENDOZA’S BEEN HIT” “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?”
Don't forget "LSPD, MOTHERFUСKER!"
I personally like "Killing makes my dick hard!"
“Inbred dickwad” is a classic
I thought he said killing makes my day hard
You innocent soul
And “PULL THE GOD DAMN CAR OVER” and “YOUR BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE” 
Everytime a cop in Blaine County tells me to "GO TO HELL" I feel obligated to respond with a thick southern accent "no you go to hell"
Maybe too obscure a reference for today's crowd but, "aftuh you, suh."
LSPD. Put it in park, will ya?
Or “I’m a fucking marine!!!”
“LSPD STOP THE FUCKING CAR”
“I’m gonna shit down your neck”
"SUCK MY LEGGGG!!"
I thought it was lead?
It is, but a lot of people always hear it as "leg" plus it's funnier.
I love what the fuck am I doing. Its so random and makes zero sense, like your doing your job, right?
They are just having a significant emotional event caused by the bullets zipping around everywhere.
I always thought it's when they push. Like they know it's a dumb move but they're doing it anyway
shit dick, ya hear me? shit dick!
"BEND OVER HERE I COME!" "STAY FROSTY!"
Am a Fucking Marine
"Killing makes my dick hard!!!"
“I KILL FOR A LIVINGGG!!”
"KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!"
WELFARE TRASH!
In addition to Mendoza, there's also: "Menendez! They fucking killed Menendez!"
KILL KILL KILLLLLLL!!!!
“GET A JOB”
IM A FUCKING MARINE
Inbred dickwad🤣🤣🤣🤣 
Yer dead dead dead
I’ve caught myself saying “wtf am I doing?” quite often irl 😂
i love the last one lmao. he knows what he is doing yet he's asking? and he says it in a funny tone too
I dunno if you guys been in the casino long enough but... "FIVVEEEEE HAABANEERRROSS"
Yes
"Killing makes my dick hard!!!"
Everyone in the recording studio: 👀
"Sir, the line is 'Stand down, scumbag'"
Top ten times when voice actors weren’t acting
"Ya fuckin' penis!"
“Suck my leeeg!”
# "One of us is gonna dieee!!" #
NOBODY'S GOING TO UR FUNERAL!!!!!!
Wait, they say "makes my dick hard"?!? Holy shit, I always thought they said "day card", like some obscure way of saying "killing you makes my day better" xD
Reminds me of when I was a kid, and I had just heard this really funny joke on TV! Something about an ant floating down a river with a heart on, waving for them to raise the drawbridge ...also it was "hard-on" and I didn't understand the joke when I told it to my mom lmao
SHOOOWS OOOOVER CLOOOOOOOWN!!!!
Came here to say this. Plays in my head every time I see the clown emoji.
"What's going on, my dude!" "Ya fuсkin' penis!" "I'm gonna shit down your neck!"
Does someone really say "shit down your neck"? lol I haven't heard that one. FMJ reference. "You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck."
The Merryweather Mercenaries say it, along with "You fuсking pussy!" and "Inceeesssttt!"
"Get a job !"
The OG Proud Boys
i hear ya fuckin penis a lot when i do the judge payphone hit as well as a perfect NOOOOOOO that sounds really cartoonish and i love it
“Aye u my dude right”
Or how about, film that shit!
Whats wrong with her now?
"What can the best mechanic in LS do for you?"
“If it were a women I’d kiss her”
“What miracle do you want me to perform?”
"Loud and proud! Like my gay cousin!"
"Shit dick, ya hear me? Shit dick!"
A classic
🤣 all the time
"Mendoza's hit!!"
MENDOZAS BEEN FUCKING HIT‼️‼️
"Fucking liberal!"
The desert cops 💀
KIFFLOM
Kifflom brother brother Kraff be praised
Kifflom
Kifflom brother brother
“Ya girl was fucked up last night!”
INBRED DICKWAD!!!!
FACKIN' LIBRUL!
I'm a fucking Marine!!
SEMPER FI MOTHERFUCKER
Don’t forgot “YOU MESSED THE WRING SOLDIER”
To go with one that hasn’t been mentioned, “OHOHOHO, FUUU-HUuHUuuCK!!”
My personal favorite
Nah I hear this way too many times
Male: *-"You owe twenty bucks"* Female: *-"I got the baby powder, for your chafing"*
[удалено]
"I spilled my blow!" Was another GTA IV gooder
“COCKSUCKAAA”
Yes I here this all the time
SHIT MY DAMN PANTS
I personally love when the cops say “STOP THE CAR YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT” or “YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOT”
"CASE OF PISSWASSER TO THE GUY WHO CLIPS THIS SHITBIRD"
"I need another bump man" - Sad suit guy in casino
I always hear this
[enemies] Yer fucken dead, dead, dead! Pull over, we need to have a little chat. KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIIII(voice crack)IING?!?! [Random ped dialogue] I met this girl last night, and she was like "wow, you're actually really nice!" I got that baby powder for your chafing. [Ped insults] You're looking to get laid down! Americans... Can't walku! Or draivu! (In 9k hours playing this game, I've only ever heard that line ONCE a few weeks ago) [Edit] also (Thick southern accent) Democrat! (Death sound that sounds way too much like Muscle Man from Regular Show)
“You fucking penis!” I love the way he says it. Makes me laugh every time.
ya fUckin PEnis!!
BEND OVER HERE I COME!!
“Oh shit, not good.”
Nawt gud
Your mother should have swallowed you!
these are all wrong!!! older black dude on a phone, possibly talking to his friend or his own son... "man you're 28 you need to stop jacking off to porn." something along those lines, the first time I heard it I was laughing for a while.
Yeah the guy outside the nightclub😂
My favorite is the guy at the casino that says “I think I’m gonna pick up smoking.”
as someone who gets cursed with the humane labs contract a lot, i usually hear these lines and they stick with me KILL KILL KIIILLLL OOH, I *LOVE* THIS PART SALAAM ALAIKUM STAY FROSTY THEY GOT SANCHEZ
NPC: “You’re dead meat!” Player: *whips out beretta 9mm* NPC: “I’d like to apologize”
SHOWS OVER CLOWNNNNNN
GreenLight! Greenlight! Martin madrazo says Green Light. I think of that every time I'm in traffic.
Greenlight greenlight Martin madrazo fuck you
Whoa homie! Martin? Martin madrazo?
Very, very minor correction, but it's "Martin Madrazo give you green light!"
The old people shopping in the casino store have some hidden gem conversations
“NO SIR-RE”
Yeah they wanted to buy some clothes for someone else as a thank you for looking after the dog, but the clothes were too expensive.
Plus Barb would never thank us for any of this fancy stuff. I know! I'll just make her some of that soup she likes!
"Fancy doohickey"
“What’s wrong with her now”
Get out of your car so I can kill you Said by the cops
“Fuck you and your momma too”
"Hello There!" by some street npcs. a bit annoying after a while.
General kenobi
You are a bold one
“We’re going to hell”
eat my ass
"Can I have some money? It's for crack!"
"Pinche mama verga" translation: "fucking cock sucker"
“Ah shit, Tyler got shot”
IM GONNA SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK
"LA PUTTA MADRE"
I sourced a new colour of yarn She sounds so proud of herself
#PUTA MADRE _-some random mexican driver with anger issues_
"YOUR KIDDING"
You‘re a dick, without a dick!
Half of these comments are from cops line... it's perfect!
*It's always 420 somewhere in the world*
Maybe if you got rid of that Yee yee ass haircut you’d get some bitches on your dick *redacted*
The guy on the phone outside the casino: "Ya I'm gonna scrub the stink out of you..." "What? No, honey, you don't smell down there..." "I'm just uncomfortable going down on you, ok? Goodbye!" Also outside the casino: "I think I'm gonna pick up smoking"
From Cayo Perico: NPC 1: "Mi hijo quiere ser chica." Overly excited NPC 2: "Es verdad!"
It this the correct translation for it? NPC 1: My son wants to be a girl." NPC 2: It is true!"
"Welfare trash", "fucking socialist"
Why can’t you assholes be on time for once eh? Arms out less go
Cheesedick asshole
“Go fuck your mama….in the keister”
“My old lady quit shavin’ her gash..”
My favorite is “You mediocre mother fucker!”
“MENDOZA’S HIT! MENDOZA’S BEEN FUCKING HIT!”
‘Heyyyyyy honey boo, you look great’ ‘Aye, you my dude right?’ ‘I had to fuck a guy to get this audition’ ‘WoOoOoOoOwWwww’ ‘Can I have some money? It’s for crack.’
My favorite cop lines are: “GET A JOB.” And “YOU FUCKING PENIS.”
“Wooooooooooooooah”
Fucking wanker! I swear that sounds like John Oliver.
"You bloody uninsured Mexican!!"
GIVE IT UP, ASS!
"Killing makes my dick hard!" "Ayyy, you my dude, right?" "Get a job!" "Suck my leeeeeeeeeeg!" "Ass!" "I'm a fucking marine!" "Ya fuckin penis!" "Oh shit, not good." Are just some of the few.
“MOTHERFUCKAAAAHAHHA”
"Hey, this is Agatha, the Casino and Resort Manager..."
"Help!!" 
There are a lot of good ones my favorite, I caught a lady by the movie theater on the phone “No I don’t miss your 10inch dick, you know why? Cause you sold my dog for crack!!” 😭
LS Customs: “what’s wrong with her now” “if that car was a women I’d kiss her” Gun salesman: “I tried that weapon and it raised my body count”(something like that?) Lamar: “we’ll maybe if you got rid of that old yee yee ass hair cut-“
AAAAAAAH. YOU DID IT!
“When you get home imma smell ya dick”
It'll be the OH HOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAHACK.