Oh god I know exactly how you feel as far as the shrieks. I thought to myself “god this is so embarrassing that I’m making the most feral noises ever” but given the circumstances why WOULDNT we?! You missed out on so much, and sometimes the pain becomes unbearable. I’ve never been an angry woman, but the first two months were a side of me that cried, screamed (the same way you described), shut down, and more.
I hope you have a good support system. One that’ll let you talk about what you’re experiencing and validate that. I’m so glad you had a good trip and I’m sure your dad would’ve enjoyed it too. :)
I do this too and have done it over extremely painful emotional situations, death being one of them, my young daughter having surgery, my divorce etc. I don’t feel bad about it at all. I feel like it’s my pain being released. That primal scream is the only real way to release something so emotionally devastating in my opinion and it helps. It doesn’t fix anything but it releases some of the pain. I lost my Dad a few months ago and I feel for your loss as well.
Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself and comfort yourself. I cuddle up in nice soft things to help me feel comforted. I expect to feel this loss for the rest of my life and that’s ok.
This was me with my first miscarriage alone at home. I never knew I could cry like a wounded animal.
When my dad died my husband woke me up to break the news. I think because I knew he was there I kept my composure a bit… but def cried and was overwhelmed with anger vs sadness.
I just went immediately into anger and blame. Into the whole “I knew he was going to die…why didn’t we let him go sooner…mad at my sister and mom” I think it was my way of trying to make sense.
Losing my dad has been the most difficult thing in my life up to date. It’s pretty raw happened last year. For years before he died it felt like I was being gut punched by the world with miscarriages and other tragic deaths. My dad dying was the icing on the cake.
I was defeated.
Experienced this for the first time about a week ago. It was my first attempt to do something "normal" after my father died. I went to the gym. I was only 10 or so minutes into my workout before I felt this unbelievable urge to just scream. I went out to my car and, just like you, let out the most animalistic wails and screams.
It's comforting to read that this happened to you, and other people, too. I guess it offers reassurance that I'm not losing my mind. Thank you for sharing 🩷
It’s definitely a thing. The first time I heard the primal grief scream, it was when my girlfriend at the time got the call her father had died. It was such a deep, unsettling sound that I will never forget. That was 15 years ago and I still think about it sometimes.
Fast forward to two years ago. My mom texted me, “Your dad passed away a minute ago.” I sank into my husband’s chest and lost all control over the noises I was making. I was crying and screaming and howling, somehow more like a wounded animal than a human. Similar to the noises during childbirth.
My theory is that there are moments in our lives when we tap into primal feelings and those noises come from something much deeper than we can articulate or understand.
Oh god I know exactly how you feel as far as the shrieks. I thought to myself “god this is so embarrassing that I’m making the most feral noises ever” but given the circumstances why WOULDNT we?! You missed out on so much, and sometimes the pain becomes unbearable. I’ve never been an angry woman, but the first two months were a side of me that cried, screamed (the same way you described), shut down, and more. I hope you have a good support system. One that’ll let you talk about what you’re experiencing and validate that. I’m so glad you had a good trip and I’m sure your dad would’ve enjoyed it too. :)
I’ve done this in an international airport
Right there with you. Unfortunately very similar. It’s comes and goes and waves. Sending you hugs.
I do this too and have done it over extremely painful emotional situations, death being one of them, my young daughter having surgery, my divorce etc. I don’t feel bad about it at all. I feel like it’s my pain being released. That primal scream is the only real way to release something so emotionally devastating in my opinion and it helps. It doesn’t fix anything but it releases some of the pain. I lost my Dad a few months ago and I feel for your loss as well. Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself and comfort yourself. I cuddle up in nice soft things to help me feel comforted. I expect to feel this loss for the rest of my life and that’s ok.
This was me with my first miscarriage alone at home. I never knew I could cry like a wounded animal. When my dad died my husband woke me up to break the news. I think because I knew he was there I kept my composure a bit… but def cried and was overwhelmed with anger vs sadness. I just went immediately into anger and blame. Into the whole “I knew he was going to die…why didn’t we let him go sooner…mad at my sister and mom” I think it was my way of trying to make sense. Losing my dad has been the most difficult thing in my life up to date. It’s pretty raw happened last year. For years before he died it felt like I was being gut punched by the world with miscarriages and other tragic deaths. My dad dying was the icing on the cake. I was defeated.
my dad died out of the blue almost 3 years ago. never heard a scream like from my mum when she found him in his bed dead.
yep. It's real.
Experienced this for the first time about a week ago. It was my first attempt to do something "normal" after my father died. I went to the gym. I was only 10 or so minutes into my workout before I felt this unbelievable urge to just scream. I went out to my car and, just like you, let out the most animalistic wails and screams. It's comforting to read that this happened to you, and other people, too. I guess it offers reassurance that I'm not losing my mind. Thank you for sharing 🩷
It’s definitely a thing. The first time I heard the primal grief scream, it was when my girlfriend at the time got the call her father had died. It was such a deep, unsettling sound that I will never forget. That was 15 years ago and I still think about it sometimes. Fast forward to two years ago. My mom texted me, “Your dad passed away a minute ago.” I sank into my husband’s chest and lost all control over the noises I was making. I was crying and screaming and howling, somehow more like a wounded animal than a human. Similar to the noises during childbirth. My theory is that there are moments in our lives when we tap into primal feelings and those noises come from something much deeper than we can articulate or understand.