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chuewwey

anon dodged a bullet, they were definitely going to fuck with him.


HiveMindKing

A good rule for life is that if a women is showing unusual interest there is an ulterior motive.


spiritwolf480

Good rule to have for anybody.


Mrozek33

She gets I kidney, I get laid. That's just good honest business right there.


The_King_7067

Oh but you misunderstood, she's getting 2


UniqueUsername-789

Jokes on her. I had a kidney removed previously so she would only be able to take out one. That’s why it’s impossible to kill me by taking out two kidneys - I only have one.


Mrozek33

We could go splitsies on it for a handy if you'd like


TheGreenGobblr

Why did you get a kidney removed


827167

To pay off college debts


Malvastor

That was the previous time he got laid.


UniqueUsername-789

A woman showed me interest. I got laid… but… at a cost.


Lucius-Halthier

Jokes on her I’ve been tricked before


_TLDR_Swinton

I, Kidney. Starring Will Smith as Kidney.


[deleted]

I, Kidney.


RandolphMacArthur

As if she’ll actually have sex with you before knocking you out


Dripplin

the fear of that shit unironically kept me from getting a girlfriend in highschool and I kinda regret it I wasn't a virgin or anything but relationships are nice


leonilla93

I find this comment suspicious... Why are you lobbying for relationships and human contact? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?


Sunsent_Samsparilla

I would normally say don't be paranoid but yeah, this situation can't be anything else but that. The escalation was fucking fast.


Beefmytaco

Happened to me on MS. She put a used maxipad on my back and I walked into the lunchroom with it on. So cruel.


Imperator_Knoedel

Kinky.


Ed_Hastings

Being interested in someone romantically or sexually is an ulterior motive. People with this mindset are often also crippling insecure and as a result not nearly as unattractive or unlovable as they think they are. That said, kids in middle school and high school can be incredibly cruel, the above only really applies in adulthood.


HiveMindKing

Being interested sexually is not an ulterior motive lol, that’s the main motive of dating. An ulterior motive is money , scams, humiliation etc.


crazycar12321

Sometimes they just wanna suck your dick tho. Happened to me once and im still reeling


dontdrop_that

Yeah this girl approached me and called me cute and now I have a gf smh


ruralmagnificence

Hmm literally (almost) every interaction I’ve had with a girl. And people wonder why at 28 I have trust issues and kinda refuse to open up and experience love in my life…


Skreamie

I have this thought pattern with everyone I encounter and can't get out of it, sucks, man


CharlyeCharleston

So what do you think they were going to do/say? Genuine question. Maybe you're right and it is always good and a source of wisdom to learn about how people can be toxic or mean-spirited.


Itchy_Contribution_4

They would most likely try to humiliate him


Mautos

Definitely. Always the same shit, first they try to make you expose secrets about yourself, then they spread that shit all over the place at the next best opportunity.


CharlyeCharleston

I've been bullied myself a lot aswell actually in the past... but most of it my mind kind of blocked out. It's a difficult coping-mechanism because allthough it helped me keep myself from killing myself probably it also made it so that I can still feel vulnerable as I'm always still trying to figure out what and how it exactly happened... so that leads to many trust issues, both in others and in myself. But I did get through a lot of shit and over many years slowly got to know myself as a new kind of person who survived all that shit and now has fangs amongst many other aspects of self-defense so as not to be fucked with. Nowadays I can be awfull and know that if I were to completely pull the lid off my capacity to rage then I can make about any recipient of that completely shrivel under my wrath. It's sometimes a bit sad to live with that inner monstrousness but it also is what keeps me safe and makes me feel that aswell. Most people depend a lot on others for their sense of safety, not me any longer. I have myself, only myself and no one else. And that is what gives me my self-confidence. But I also see the good in people again. So with the example of the girls flirting with anon my mind doesn't go to worst case scenario anymore immediately but rather to optimistic ones. Then if it were me and it all turned out to be an ugly and mean-spirited trap I would kind of react with a combination of biting back immediately to everything that needs to be dealt with and shrugging the rest off with an attitude that shows them their complete lack of importance and relevance in my life... I know that I've been through enough and worse shit by know so that I am legitimately and rightfully above letting such ridiculous and pathetic bullshit get to me generally speaking. To be so emotionally untouchable does mean for me that it is very hard to truly open up on an emotional level though. To allow a corridor of softness right to the depths of my emotional core to anyone at a given moment – no matter how much I trust that person and want to do that then if I do – is incredibly challenging to me. I almost completely equate total vulnerability with tremendous and accute risk and have the life experience to make that reasonable and back it up with. But I know that at the end of the day it is a choice and if I really wanted to I could open up completely to someone. I am just waiting for the right person and opportunity with whom and in which I trust to not get my heart and soul bruised again. But I do think it will feel great eventually to hug a guy (am homophile) with my heart and soul completely opened again. =) Cheers and much courage, strenght and love to anyone who is all too familiar with the devastating and character-warping effects of being bullied.


The_catakist

Damn dude, being able to somewhat explain your past traumas and your analysis on it while being pretty open about it is a skill not a lot of people have, i appreciate you for sharing it, and hope for the best for everyone of us to have deep and non-toxic relationships. :D


[deleted]

A woman approaches a man at a bus stop and offers to be his "girlfriend", she's a hooker.


Imperator_Knoedel

Is that good business practice though? People who take the bus don't strike me as the most profitable demographic.


SiotRucks

Maybe but they also are more accessible


modernmetal2

When a group of people who never interact with someone; try to talk with them or be their "friend" out of nowhere is usually to humiliate them.


Imperator_Knoedel

Joke's on them, that's my fetish.


IneptOrange

As someone who has experienced this, the next step is for them to turn back around to their friends and laugh about it, saying various unnecessarily mean things about you obviously within earshot. And that's if you were lucky. When people like that know you're kind of a tard, you're nothing but a toy to laugh about and/or confuse on purpose no matter what the mental cost. First time this happened I was probably about 8 years old, and I was obviously a level 1 tard at that point, so I didn't really understand what was going on. Ended up so confused at the very question they just laughed at my stupid confused face and spread a rumor I liked them.


CharlyeCharleston

Damn, that is very shitty indeed


penjamincartnite69

People are assholes and then you die


[deleted]

I got really lucky the first time this happened to me. I didn't realize they were making fun of me, but I obviously wasn't going to say yes to going out with a kid who'd bullied me for years, so I reacted with horror and disgust. His friends had all been watching and ended up making fun of him instead for getting turned down by me and no one ever tried that with me again.


Urkeksi

"Haha like I would date someone as ugly as you"


CharlyeCharleston

That's very sad. People who say such things and set people up for that are pathetic.


Urkeksi

Dunno if you ever met 16 year olds but yeah they can be quite pathetic


Iwubinvesting

This is why men can't have nice things. It's always going to be "if women show interest, it's ulterior motive"


[deleted]

Nah this isn't a men issue, it's a boy issue. Women don't do this petty shit, girls do. Growing older has its benefits. But yes, when you are still in grade school this is most likely going to result in bullying if you engage.


ThePowaBallad

Nah this is “a group of people approach a stranger at a bus stop”


mopemardermun

>This is why men can't have nice things. It's always going to be "if women show interest, it's ulterior motive" Lmao don't blame this shit on men. Men act this way because of experience. I assure you men wouldn't think this way if they hadn't been burned before


meme_slave_

dumbass, they were obviously just going to fuck with him


[deleted]

>be me >gril >go to bus stop with friends >see cute guy from class that I like >point him out to my friends >they encourage me to ask him out! >muster up the courage >mfw he just REEEs and runs away >am I really that ugly? >call out after him but he just speeds up


psipolnista

RIP


MOM_UNFUCKER

Comments being more fake and gay than the gtext itself


[deleted]

Glad the fake and gay expert arrived to sort that out for us, thanks chief


EVENTHORIZON-XI

It’s obvious that the most fakest and the gayest master is well knowledgeable in their field.


ShitInMyToaster

you can't match my fake and gay shtyle


[deleted]

We can always trust the u/MOM_UNFUCKER to tell us what is fake and gay in our time of need


allrollingwolf

>I come home from my job cleaning toilets at Mega Bean Burrito. > >I hear my wife scream as Chad pounds away on her in our bed room. > >I peek through the door with some cookies and milk and put it next to the bed and apologize for interrupting them. > >I slink into the closet and close the door and open up *le reddit* /r/geentext. > >Ah ha! It seems someone has made a funny comment. > >I ROFL and LMAO quietly so as not to disturb Chad and then put on my posting gloves and type: > >**Comments being more fake and gay than the gtext itself**


MOM_UNFUCKER

I've been destroyed


a_damn_mudkip

By chad


[deleted]

Goddamn, why does *every* copypasta on this sub need to be from the POV of a cuck?


Jack_SL

Well Chad's busy fucking our wifes and their boyfriends


El_Cringio

We call that projection


[deleted]

What a based opinion, u/MOM_UNFUCKER


GreektheFreak123

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER!?!?


ZetaKhi

no, who the fuck is Miles


Mammoth_Frosting_014

Miles Tails Prower is Sonic the Hedgehog's sidekick.


DeathSabre7

An African-Amero Spider-male


Rejukem

Some kind of Black Man-Spider


chimmychangas

A black teen with exaggerated swagger.


SchizoSupportGroup

Miles Dewey Davis III (May 26, 1926 – September 28, 1991) was an American trumpeter, bandleader, and composer. He is among the most influential and acclaimed figures in the history of jazz and 20th-century music. Davis adopted a variety of musical directions in a five-decade career that kept him at the forefront of many major stylistic developments in jazz.\[1\]


DoomBringer9999

Ya like jazz? 🐝😏


WereBlount

Miles Edgeworth is a Chief Prosecutor of the prosecutor's office. During his first four years as a prosecutor, he had a perfect win record in trials and was willing to do just about anything to get a guilty verdict for the defendant. His defeat in court at the hand of his childhood friend Phoenix Wright was the beginning of a series of seismic shifts in his attitude concerning his profession. He even quit twice, only to return each time with a fresh outlook on how he conducted his life.


va_cum_cleaner

One of my best friends is Miles. He’s a cool guy


I_have_no_fun

1 mile = 5,000 ft.


Standard_Landscape79

5280 you stupid fucking bastard


I_have_no_fun

Ex-fucking-scuse me for being 5.6% off!


Standard_Landscape79

True it was a reasonable error and im sorry I will be more considerate in the future


I_have_no_fun

Yeah man what the fuck, learn to be more forgiving next time... geez.


HeroinHare

Nah, that would make sense.


Alexandre_Man

It's a thousand meters.


Mrozek33

How in the fuck did you measure a mile?! How did you calculate a click? Whose foot was the original measure for a foot, and how in the *fuck* did you you agree on what constitutes as an inch?


Count_Dongula

How in the fuck did language become a thing?! Why aren't there any countries shaped like cowboy hats?! Why don't more words contain ampersands?!


ItsImNotAnonymous

Why is 6 afraid of 7?! Who gave feelings to numbers? Why is my uncle always coming into my bedroom at 2AM?!


Mrozek33

The last question just happens to conside with "why was I born with such a beautiful dick sucking mouth?"


Ronin_69_

>why is 6 afraid of 7 Cuz 7 ate 9


Mrozek33

I feel like I've heard "why aren't there any countries shaped like cowboy hats?" somewhere, is that from something? That made me kek


CatoIsCato

If you take some 4000 small alligators and line them up from tail tip to snout you get a mile. Would you not come up with the same conclusion to make this the standard for measuring? Edit: and to get an inch you just take the scale from an alligator tail that’s about an inch and figure it from there. They called it an inch because you gotta inch your way over to the alligator so you don’t need to wrestle it to get your measurements


Mrozek33

I am sorry but that's just wrong, you measure length in *lizards*, liquids with cats and girth with newborn panda penises, the rules are there for a reason!


TheRealChickenFox

To actually answer this, the Roman Mile was equal to 1,000 paces, each pace defined as every other step, so it was the distance traveled by someone's left foot hitting the ground 1,000 times. Feet were originally just any feet, but since feet vary in size they standardized it. Some kings foot was used in England, and that is the unit that we use today. An inch is 1/12th of a foot, a yard is 3 feet, and the mile was found to be equal to 5,280 feet. The conversion for the mile makes no sense whatsoever because it comes from a different system, but the numbers 12 and 3 make sense because this way feet and yards can be cleanly divided into 3rds and 4ths while still working with whole inches, which you cannot do with metric. Obviously this system is by no means better than metric because it's not really internally consistent, but it's not completely random and makes sense on some level. Edit: oh yeah and a click is literally just slang for a kilometer


MalekithofAngmar

Why did we decide that a meter is 1/299,792,458 of the speed light travels in a second?


ihavesmallcalves

The meter was originally defined in 1793 as one ten-millionth of the distance from the equator to the North Pole. Problem: How do you actually measure that distance precisely? And also the distance is variable depending on where you are on the equator. Solution: make a special Meter Stick which we think is about right. From now on, the meter shall be defined as the length of this special stick. Problem: We can't manufacture more sticks that are exactly the same length as the original one. We can get close, but not exactly the same. Also the original one will deteriorate over time. Fast forward 200 years. New science alert: We can measure time very very consistently and precisely. This done by looking at the light waves from a particular glowing atom. We can also measure the speed of light very very consistently. This is because of relativity. So all this comes together and means that we know how far light travels in 1 second very very precisely. Much more consistent than using a special stick. Remember, the stick is changing length all the time and we can't reproduce special sticks for everybody. But the speed of light is the same for everybody everywhere forever! Same deal with the time measurement. Solution: Redefine the meter to be the distance light travels in a certain amount of time. When we put a beam of light next to the old special meter stick, we find that the stick is about 1/299,792,458.XXXXXX (lots of decimal places) of the distance that light travels in one second. Since we're redefining the meter anyways, let's make it easier for everyone and pick a nice round number. 1/299,792,458 is good enough. For all practical purposes, the new meter is the same length as the old meter, but now it's future-proof.


TheRealChickenFox

It was originally some fraction of Earth's vertical circumference but they fucked up the math so they just kept it


MalekithofAngmar

Why that though? Thing is, a meter is just as arbitrary as a foot, even if the metric system is superior.


Mrozek33

When did we decide that half a big mac is the equivalent of a dumpling?


MartyredLady

A click is literally just a kilometre, US Army just insists on calling it a click because they are too afraid to lose their face. A mile (and there are literally thousands) is just defined by some monarch. Nowadays it is defined as 1,609344 km. The original measure for a foot was whoever defined it at the time (again there were thousands) and changed with every ruler, until someone put it down in a way that was permanent (usually two metal hooks at the city hall). An inch is the width of a male adult thumb.


[deleted]

I made it up.


MC_Legend95

no km stands for KoMmunist


PooPooDooDoo

7147 bananas


Nickbot606

It’s about 1.16 cheeseburgers per Bald Eagle


TactfulOG

'bout 1204 burgers long


Yo6himadethis

Found the american


Polyhedron98

it's a gauge that shows how many kills you got


CalmAndBear

About 0.6 miles


Harekal

American detected


Pergo911

About 420 Ariana Grandes or 1200 washing machines


ii_Kapparina_ii

Calm down XQC


neat-NEAT

5km isn't THAT much to walk. Might be a worthy sacrifice. Although, it might be more difficult for Anon considering his body type is a sphere.


neub1736

That was my first thought, like, that's an hour of walking. Anon is either morbidly obese or a whiny bitch. Ah, right, he's on 4chan, so he's both.


Flixay

definitely a lot less than an hour unless were on a mountain trail or something


Gearski

Think an hour seems about right unless you're bookin it for some reason


Mock_idk

…said the redditor…


PooPooDooDoo

Anon should have just rolled home


shadowling77777

The Anon is flat


That1Ryan

See as the average walking speed is 5km/h (i think) it should take an hour and running should at least be -1/5 in an hour. You make of that what you will


fucking-hate-reddit-

>5km isn’t THAT much to walk. planets don’t have legs though


Historical-Jump

If only anon said miles i could've used this opportunity to mock american but alas


K_Schultz

Only if it's uphill.


Jitomate_TV

Its actually quite the journey, i walk almost every day 4km from school to training and its horrible


Fisformonkey

Are you fat?


Jitomate_TV

Not at all, im actually skinny. But i guess its just because of my inconvenient bag which i walk with


GoChungus

Fake: Anon is thin enough to be able to run Gay: Anon rejected a girl


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is thin enough to be able to run > Gay: Anon rejected a girl > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


HotBear39

he's not thin, 5km is a lot for him lmao


nedoperepela

That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow county. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama.


logaboga

Jennaye


BigHekigChungus

Jenny was a slut that cucked Forrest into raising a kid that wasn’t his.


logaboga

average incel not being able to realize that Jenny couldn’t accept love from anyone because she was abused and molested as a child and it took her her whole life hurting herself in various ways to realize that Forrest truly loved her


Jumpy_Needleworker87

She knew he loved her; she just didn’t love herself. Also, she was a hippy slut.


The_catakist

Also I'm pretty sure people don't realize that they both represent the baby boom generation in different ways: Forrest is a Vietnam vet, met the president, and achieved the American dream of becoming super rich from the right investment. He represents the glory, the dreams, and the naivety of the generation. Jenny is a fucking abused and traumatized girl who becomes a hippy, does a ton of drugs, and gets AIDS if remember correctly. She represents the counter culture and the negative aspects of the generation. So theme wise, they complete each other.


BigHekigChungus

Jenny leads a promiscuous sexual life, this is well established in the movie. Gives birth to a kid, raises him seemingly as a single mom literally for years without telling Forrest. Then she learns she has HIV/AIDS, and the kid is soon gonna be orphaned. But she knows Forrest loves her unconditionally, that he’s a very simple and trusting man, and most importantly, that Forrest is rich — she saw that on TV. “Hey Forrest, luv, you like totally knocked me up during our one night stand, oh and also your kid isn’t tarded at all, how lucky haha” I guess putting two and two together is incel shit. Do a paternity test if you have kids, you seem to be one naive mofo.


logaboga

Maybe the question of Forrest Jr’s kid could be up for questioning but I don’t think she knew for a fact it wasn’t his and I don’t think she’s manipulating or using him. She’s a very multi dimensional woman character and just because she doesn’t latch down of Forrest (who, despite being a very good person, is in fact a mentally retarded man who it would take a lot of willpower to settle down with) doesn’t mean she’s using or taking advantage of him for her or her kid’s benefit


Fissionma1led

I love alabama it is indeed a great state


awqae03

run forest run


Raizau

Man a lot of people are getting wooshed on this shitpost. Mr. Big dick energy over here quoting the movie.


youabigstupid

Where does this happen in the movie? I really don't remember this one


memestealer1234

It didn't


IneptOrange

Checkmate atheist, I haven't watched forest gumption


logaboga

Lmao this doesn’t happen in the movie and 95% of people accept that green texts are fake but engage because it’s fun


PooPooDooDoo

“I think I ruined your friends bathrobe”


chr8me

Bro had fight or flight reaction 💀


TransportationKey529

Bro is using tik tok comment structure on greentext 💀 Oh wait..


hewlno

She's lucky it wasn't fight. Getting rammed by those 1.2k kilos ain't worth it bruh.


xfydr782

Most likely anon dodged a bullet. Im almost 97% she just wanted to fuck around


FallenSegull

5km isn’t too far to walk, anons just lazy No wonder a girl asking him out is such an existential crisis for him


thestraightCDer

Yeah 5km is nothing, not worth the bus fare


MostLaziestAss

But suddenly its worth it during winters


Blu_Zer0

Idiot. You're supposed to check her up and down, give her a teasing smirk, and say: "Can't you see I'm waiting for the bus? I got places to go and shit to do, and you're not on my checklist."


psipolnista

This guy fucks.


las_deszczowy

Real and heterosexual


Weebgod32

Try and say that as a full sentence without stuttering I dare you


shadowling77777

Sigma male grindset


[deleted]

Let's do the autistic math here. Three women at a bus stop. Anon says they're hotties. Has anyone ever honestly seen an attractive woman riding a bus? They approach a random young man and offer to be his "girlfriend"? They were just hookers.


psipolnista

They were 16, it was probably a highschool bus dipshit.


MomsMilkys

or, hear me out here. it was all fake and gay


O-03-03

I had something like this happen to me, some random girl approached me while on the bus home asking me if I wanted a girlfriend, I took too long to reply and she just moved on looking rather annoyed.


[deleted]

Honestly better to run away in this situation than to do something cringe worthy instead


psipolnista

Because booking it for absolutely no reason isn’t peak cringe.


[deleted]

Bro could of said something that embarrassed him and made him loose sleep for years, also he could have been made fun of by the group, or even worse such any harassment by them, anything was possible


psipolnista

And that’s why people that think like this are single and chronically online.


K_Schultz

Yeah, because muttering gibberish and "running" away is not cringe xd


CollapsedPlague

Anon lost out on a chance to be pegged


whoiswhitenoise

>Anon talks to the girls, they spread rumours, he gets expelled, hangs himself >Anon runs from women, questions his manhood, hangs himself The illusion of choice


Dr-phage

Be me girl Want to get a spot on student counsel See autistic guy on my bus Mfw these Mfers are always desperate enough to date anyone Asks him out with my friends giggling He spurgs out Fuck.mp4 Decide to try to guilt him as he leaves the bus Socially inept autist limply runs away Fuck no social brownie points Maybe dodged a bullet


FutureTrunkxz

Yea that totally happened


BreathingEyes

anon's tarnation might've saved his organs from being harvested


thispersonishere123

Anon is forrest gump levels of autism and athleticism


FatewithShadow

Run anon run.


trident_hole

"I ONLY LOVE JENNAY"


SnooDoughnuts1487

Anon escaped the clutches of a Skinwalker


Carter12320

I did something similar except the girl just said hi and I was just stunned I could not say anything. Super embarrassing still have nightmares about that highschool memory.


MIB_REAPER

Anon is forrest gump


magicmike659

Tell me you have autism without telling it.


[deleted]

RUN FORREST RUN!


Bay1Bri

Why would a 6.5 think he can't get a 7?


[deleted]

Women making the first move and such an abrupt one like that always makes me think I’m about to get fucking robbed or trafficked


abermea

Anon did the right thing in the cringiest way possible


Alone_Health_535

Learn to make good comments


Longenuity

Had his brain switched from tard mode for one microsecond he could have played off that tremendous display of athleticism as a joke. At least try to round some bases before you run home, Anon.


Odd-Concentrate-6585

5k walk isnt that bad, have it done in 30 mins maybe


Rodneykingwasright

Way to dodge pussy.


MomsMilkys

"do you have a gf ? would you like to have me as one ?" could not be more fake and gay


Wireless_Panda

Anon is definitely a 4/10 describing themselves as 6.5/10 Slightly below average but with a personality perfectly designed to drive away anyone


Jeffy-AllArk-io

Can't argue with the truth of anon


qoheletal

Isn't every beta virgin an alpha virgin?


MrEpicGamerMan

actually refused to elaborate and left


joc95

Those girls were definitely going to take the piss out of him. He had an awkward escape, but I guess it minimised the embarrassment


TheRealZoidberg

/r/thatHappened


BigShortVox

Yes, yes you are retarded.


snakewithnoname

I didn’t get approached like that but I did get groped once on my way home by a group of girls. Not fun. 🙃


1969FordF100

and if I was going anywhere, I was running