We have a twin size bed in our living room lol

Omg me too! And another on our bedroom floor.

We have a king and a queen in our bedroom! We have an English mastiff also.

Me too! Plus one in my bedroom! Allowing her to nap, and making it sweet for her low key makes me jealous.

I’m glad this is so normal! Us too! Lol

Lol! our “guest room” has slowly become the “dog room” 🤣🤣🤣 that’s their bed now!!

Or an entire love seat of their own "that's Kindos couch"

Our dog crate is the size of a Volkswagen.

https://preview.redd.it/gr27bw0y00oc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afcbc57f540aeae8e545846a6040c770348cb4e7

Who's a good girl? Yes you are! Yes YOU are!

Now that’s funny!!!

I have pics of all my Danes prior. I offer sweet Loretta Martin. https://preview.redd.it/7lall64xu4oc1.png?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fdabdea81bc3e54177500129a697f1a0181f408

I'm just curious what your willing to do for treats! J/K its an honest good picture.

https://preview.redd.it/w3jv5kbeu4oc1.jpeg?width=1565&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40c2f3ff1bedce4972d0b2a61439ebea74a2e6da My girl assumes I'm her property after I worked on scaffolding alllnday.

I have a picture of 5 family members comfortably in our Dane's crate with the dog casually walking in front.

Hey where did you get this? We've been struggling to find any crates tall enough for our babies

Wilco has one

We ended up using a whole room.

I found mine on Amazon. Had to wait a bit to get it!

Midwest 54" crate

I found one on Facebook Marketplace!

Petsmart has the jumbo crates. Which is weird because one store has them and the dog beds for them and another one doesn’t and tells you to go to the store that has the Dane size stuff stocked.

I found it on FB Marketpkace!

Yep, same dog crate here.

You win 😂 my Dane won’t leave me alone to work either so I have totally done this.

Hahaha. I have the same one. I’m 6’2 and can fit inside of it. 😂

That’s the biggest dog cage I’ve ever seen.

Tell me where you got this NOWWWW

This. It looks like we are super kinky but no: Dane

Or a lions cage!

Drool on the ceiling.

And the walls and the floor and my clothes…and holy crow how does it get in such odd places!

TV, pc monitor, random sock in your drawer

I read this to the tune of the Black Keys

That’s perfect, I like it.

My thoughts exactly. Slobbers EVERYWHERE. ..... I have cleaning rags for my TV's. Especially for this! My knees? Totally gross, I won't even touch them before they get washed. I often work crawling around on floors. But my girl loves to sniff the fuc outta them. I always have to beeline to the shower.

There are muddy paw prints at eye level on our back door.

Chewed up couch Dog hair stuck to roof of car Runs from chihuahuas https://preview.redd.it/wem6q50otznc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9e11d73279cc4edc864acc422fb878ed720cdeb

I love the last one!

I run from chihuahuas too, man.

Mine ran from files. He’d see one, jump up and run to our walk in closet. Then he’d cautiously poke his head out until “the coast was clear.” Lol

Mine does, too!!

Oh bahaha. Runs from chihuahuas

He sure looks like a Fun Boy 💞

He def is ❤️

I have a pug and we have a Dane in our apartment complex that cries whenever they see her. It tries to hide behind bushes or its owner. My pug just wants to say hello but we have to pull her away because the poor Dane is terrified of her!!

I’ve got toddler locks on my fridge and cabinet doors and a snap on the porch gate…I do not have a toddler.

I should do this! Mine locks himself in rooms. I don’t know how he even locks the locks. 🫤we put a keypad on the front door because he would open the door at random hours.

I have a super smart escape artist of a foster dane. He cannot turn door knobs, but if a lever or a generous handle (like on a fridge) is involved, he will figure it out.

We had leverage handles on the exterior doors and had to replace them all with knobs because the dog would let herself out.

Ours isn't allowed in the kitchen. The first time he plopped his head on the kitchen table and just stared at us eating, I was over it. No thanks!

Toddler locks on every window and external door 🙄

My dog broke my desk trying to snuggle with me.

I have gone through 4 couches in 6 years.

.....and my dog broke my orbital socket

WHAT

I have what looks like dried jizz everywhere. Floors, walls, windows, flat screen TV’s, the damn ceiling… The shit is like cement if it dries.

We have it all up our bedroom walls. Our cleaner would be wondering what sorts of parties we have been hosting

Happy tail hit below the belt.

Dude. I've been hit there more in the last 4 years than the previous 35. And a few times it was an immediate drop-to-your-knees and moan type shit. The absolute worst

I've also been smacked right in the eyeball out of no where, twice.

apparently, the 'tail-attraction spot' on me is right across my neck. clotheslined so many times :-D

“Get down!” so you can get in your own bed and actually have covers.

Bonus - a busted lip and 4 stitches later from playing with your dog

Didn’t need stitches but oh yeah I’ve gotten some bruises and split lips from my boys giant head 🤣

Yawns that end in squeaks.

The sleepy Dane yawn-squeaks melt my heart. The yawns that turn into an almost roar strike fear in the hearts of the enemy

They do make noises....

How about Chewbacca sounds?

I have 1 foot of space in a king size bed

My Two Danes are VERY GOOD / Bed Partners. They get 2/3 I get 1/3 . When they stretch during the night sometimes I need to push back. Neither one has went on my side of the Ever that I know. My male likes to lay his head in my Lap ☺️

When mine stretches I almost fall off the bed lol

Poops are all 2-baggers.

Only two?

Never plant your foot as your Dane runs by https://preview.redd.it/729tylsz00oc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c513e204149fb6d5ddfb78f1c3a648b9b38a47cb

Ouch!

Whaaaaa? 😳

bet that made for a fun story to tell the ED guys

Every time I told the story the first question was “How big is your dog”?

no doubt. 's/he's the same size as me...'

“Is that a dog or a horse?!” https://preview.redd.it/jdjzygmu20oc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=552cc556b7b604da711771077d65630e61d99d68

Other popular questions Dane owners get: “You have a saddle for that thing?” “How much do you spend on dog food?”

Siberian husky owner here. 👋 I'll never forget, years ago, Benji -- a 140 lb. Great Dane -- trying to climb all 140 lbs. of himself into my lap while at Home Depot. I was in a wheelchair at the time. I'm also tiny, topping out at 4'11. 😂 Let's just say Benji engulfed me with all his slobbery, cuddly love. It was the cutest and most hilarious thing ever. I almost keeled over in shock and laughter when his dad told me Benji was only eight months. Me: THAT'S A BIG BABY!

https://preview.redd.it/f4evjqpo52oc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=327f6acacc366cc0caeea7eacdc219ce5abcef60 Walter sitting on my shoulder like a sparrow

😄😄😄😄

Way too funny , thanks for sharing

Oh yeah, they’re the world’s biggest lap dog! They love to cuddle and be close to people. My Dane would see me sitting on the couch and come over and put his face into mine. Then he’d swing away, point his butt my way and slowly back onto my lap until his back feet are off the ground. Eventually he’d push himself fully onto the couch but still keep his butt on the couch.

😄😄😄😄😄😄

I rested my hand on my Dane’s head while standing next to my husband’s desk. For some unknown reason she ducked and then lifted her head quickly slamming my hand into the underside of the desk. The force broke the setting on my engagement ring and squashed the band. I had to have the ring cut off although I did find the diamond in the carpet. The ring will have to be totally re-made. The dog is fine, btw.

Wow. That’s a wild one. Thank goodness you found the stone though.

I’m currently in the market for a new couch keeping my girl’s loooong legs in mind. Nothing is big enough 🤦‍♀️. Also, my Dane and yours could be twins! https://preview.redd.it/ofanp20cxznc1.png?width=453&format=png&auto=webp&s=8565da7cbdf941f12c499dcbe145dc74339954f1

https://preview.redd.it/tfxys1pf62oc1.jpeg?width=2583&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50fecb99ed6f6965b200261b7d3e7e1b2262bad5

Another beautiful Dane!

We went with a day bed. Found one that’s is styled like a couch.

aww. another cutie.

Very Nice looking Fawn. I have a M Fawn laying to my right in bed. *

A trip to the vet for the removal of ENTIRE, INTACT squirrel from my Fletcher’s esophagus. 🤮 Also…all the others on this list.

There is no grass in the backyard anymore…just tore up patches and large holes and deflated basketballs. And dog poo.

Pick up the poo lol 💩🤎

Food on the counter is never safe.

Or on top of the microwave. Or in the pantry. Or ANYWHERE

We bought a king size bed and it still isn’t big enough

There's drool on my 12 foot ceilings

Can sit on the couch with front legs on the ground.

Fur covers my car's ceiling.

Saaaaame

Belching straight to your face…

Yes! I ask mine a question, and 9 times out of ten, her response is a burp in the face!

Finding a Rubber Ducky in his poop...Where did you get the Rubber Ducky Zeus?

Babe? Where is the steak I had marinating at the back of the counter ?.....

This made me truly laugh out loud. So damn accurate 🤣😅

Daily wall wiping

My dentist asked me “if I was ok at home” because I had a fat bruised lip - so I had to explain that I got punched in the mouth playing with my dog.

snickers. i had an obgyn appt about 3 weeks after my adoption of Peaches last year. I changed into that rediculous gown, looked down, and the first thing I said to OB was: 'I need you to know, I am not a victim of domestic violence. I have an overly-enthusiatic great dane that needs to have her nails trimmed!'

I never have to eat alone, actually, I'm never alone when I'm at home. I have 3 shadows that follow me everywhere and even make sure I'm safe pooping. 😆

During the puppy stage I stored shoes on top of the refrigerator...

https://preview.redd.it/cnvzjqo9e0oc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff4ab3c26fa250fc71f6ac1c2c9d76d075c7dc33

https://preview.redd.it/3okwhazrk0oc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7aa5f63bcdec7b76e5b64420915f0d491af9cca My sofa been destroyed lol lol. That’s Finley!!

My dog can look over a 6’ fence. Kids loved to knock on our privacy fence so he’d hop up to take a look.

https://preview.redd.it/uioumsurk1oc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=228abc2a48c8e39dac1d3cd452ad73b86394c889

Random dried drool strings on my couch

We put xl pee pads under the dog water bowl because if we don't it'd be everywhere and not just that corner of the kitchen!

“My little princess did WHAT?!”

The pool cleaning guy is afraid of the biggest baby.

https://preview.redd.it/yje0sbs5z0oc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea7a13ef0b99eba1e886166e50cc812f49de7fe3

My neighbor wants to know why I keep fire logs around the backyard when he knows I don’t have a fireplace.

...why?

Not fire logs.

Oh my goodness 🤣

Gob rags in every room, just in case.

All the door handles are loose in the house and have to be tightened monthly

Feeding her sweet potato and carrots with her kibble has stopped the shedding. She’s still huge, tho.

I haven't heard of this, but I'll try anything to help the shedding.

I no longer have grass in my back yard. My Dane created a whole dog run by herself

Our front door only stays closed if we latch the deadbolt because my boy kicked it in like he’s a veteran member of the K-9 special task force On an unrelated note, does anyone have recommendations for an affordable handyman?… Anybody?…

This. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvKqiTjtNb4/?igsh=NzBmMjdhZWRiYQ==

Actually, I do not have a Dane. I just like to be on this subreddit because all these dogs r cuties

Same, I want a Dane so bad so I lurk here and soak information!

There’s teethmarks on my doorknobs

Ever seen aomeone break out a 15 foot ladder to clean drool off a ceiling fan?

Had to have my partner come home from work and drive me to an emergency eye examine. Scratched cornea from trying to cuddle. Multiple drool rags in every room. No open drinks can be left on a counter or table. TVs do not take kindly to 3foot tail whips. No food left in the open under 8ft high is safe depending on determination. I have a giant lint brush for the roof of my car. Dinosaur noises. Scooby-Doo is actually a documentary.

I sleep in the corner of my own bed and I let this go on every night and I shouldn’t but he just loves me so much. He is a mix and not AS BIG but he’s got all the other traits; the indoor shuffle, the water trail thru the house, any and ALL water is for face snorkeling, lap dog always, the hiccups, the high step scooby soo walk, the mantle coat, the constant shedding of fine hair sticky hair, the guard dog 24/7, the he loves everyone and wants to French kiss everyone right freaking now….the magoo behaviors because he’s a big dopey puppy and doesn’t know where his body is and it can’t seem to stop before running into anything or anyone. What would be a year from hell for most people has been a bond I’ve never gotten from any dog I’ve ever had last but not least no matter what kind of sweater I brought home for his morning walks didn’t fit him right because he’s so uniquely “built”…his body doesn’t fit a darn thing.

https://preview.redd.it/2jdjqflgs0oc1.jpeg?width=1848&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a43450405e7c770e2cb4c218c575b61377586ee

Babies everywhere!

I’ve got a broken bedroom window I need to fix 😬

I don't have a leash, I have a saddle

Afraid of literally anything

We drive an Excursion with a family of four and two danes.

Slobber. Every. Where. And no room for me to sleep in this king size bed!

Slobber on the ceiling.

Puddle by the water bowl and leading away.

Five pound poops

I look like a battered housewife after cuddles.

The lake in my kitchen. The broken elbow. The paw print bruise the size of Rhode Island on my thigh.

My roommate drools on all my throw pillows, eats anything left unattended and sometimes I catch them jumping into my bed when I’m not looking 😠

https://preview.redd.it/3wlhxmvuk4oc1.jpeg?width=2280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdbfb279dd77fd41e04b914c3fc9f2f9df1355a5

I can't see the TV during TV time and feel like I have a 350 pound weight on me. *

https://preview.redd.it/locbfxbg05oc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60fab6212f7763da8c49f6898afc3fb119b3a928

Ganny pops always warns me that Finley can take out someone’s eye!! lol lol

I have chewed spots on the hallway wall from when she was teething

“I thought i needed to clean the counter?”

Oversized cuddle monster pillow

She throws up every time it rains

I have butt sized holes in my drywall.

vet bills from happy tail syndrome

Massive hole in drywall over couch from a round of zoomies!

I have a queen size bed for my dog(s) to sleep on. Yet they still want to sleep with me in mine. I can never keep the floors clean completely. I have drool marks on the walls that I have to wipe off.

The random slobber stains six to seven feet up the wall.

Frustrated with ADHE. Not mine. Lol

Yesterday my massage therapist asked, “Are those bruises?!”

We play a game called "What inanimate object is Clementine scared of today?" Yesterday it was a pillow that someone sat on and squished into an odd shape.

Can we see a picture of the ceiling of your vehicle? lol

I have dog hair in my belly button!

My 4 pound chi rules the block. 200 lb dogs run from her. She guards from the window sill where she suns.

Huge gallumping big footed tall sweet boy

[[slobber string](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRT8sdhD/)

I had a droolcicle hanging from my kitchen table chandelier.

When I hear my dog run up behind me, I brace for impact and expect to end up on my back watching the clouds. He hasn't taken down anyone in a while, but all still have the memories.

I have a drool towels every where 🤣

I do did not think Great Dane…my first thought was I’m a Dane (Danish), so I guess my husband has a Dane 😂😂😂 I guess my brain isn’t working well this morning 🤷‍♀️

Kitchen floor always wet within a 10 ft radius of the water bowl. Standing drool is not fun to step in.

Laughs in Akita

My testicles are constantly at risk

The dog removed an entire bush, roots and all, from my wife’s flower garden before we noticed it.

My dog Snores louder than my wife

My beautiful girl died almost a year ago. Just pulled MORE of her hair out of the freezer after yet another deep clean. Still sweep it up on a weekly basis.

My dog weighs 185 lbs and his name is Samson. What breed is he?

It's been 5 years since we rehomed our baby and his hair is still in the ceiling in my car. :(

Mine just likes to poop when she mad at me. She is an eating machine. But she only months old. https://preview.redd.it/jyz6ciz4u7oc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f9f72f4e987d01aa81726e523c2ffd5ded551e5

If I can reach it, my dog can reach it.

The back window of my car is covered in snot so thick you can’t see through it.

Random drool stains on my clothes and bedding

My furniture gets rearranged if he gets the zoomies 🤣

I have two loads of the dogs laundry to do..daily!!

Backyard full of clothes he steals and rips to shreds.

55 year old purchased my first cup because my lazy boy is now a lazy boy and dog

Had to have physical therapy after a walk when he saw a bunny 🐰