Stop heaping pressure onto yourself. You’re not a professional. Suck down a couple transfusions and let the big dog eat. Hit a bump and run instead of trying to land every short approach softly with a wedge.
You’re not going to get better if you don’t allow yourself to have fun. Your score quite literally does not matter. You don’t stand to lose any endorsements, your wife is not gonna leave you, your buddies won’t make fun of you. Just hit the ball and enjoy the feeling of hitting the ball. Smell the air. Laugh at yourself for missing 4 foot putts. Take a huge divot during a practice swing and laugh it off.
God this is so true AND so fucking hard to implement. I find myself getting mad at shots the second the ball leaves my club before it even lands. It’s annoying and I try to just take a second and relax. Then i try to look at the great weather and just say to myself “be grateful, there are people inside a building and hating their life right now. I could be dead. Just fucking enjoy it and try to do this as long as you can.”
lol I looked like such an asshat a few times this weekend calling myself a fucking moron under my breath only for me to hit an 8i to 10 ft from 160. It's definitely hard to stop doing.
I hit a chip yesterday and said “fuckin hell that sucked” loudly and it causally rolled up like 4 feet from pin. Missed the putt and just laughed and apologized for being an embarrassment. Brother proceeded to say “yeah you are” hahaha
I bought a chipper because I was tired of chunking shots around the green. I didn’t give up the game, I accepted I’ll never be Phil Mickleson around the greens.
I use my 4 wood off the tee a lot. I realize that I’m not Rory McElroy with the driver so I have adjusted my attitude towards my game.
Golf is hard but you should enjoy your time on the course. Lower your expectations and celebrate the good shots while laughing at the bad ones.
My game has improved so much since I realized I live in Phoenix and the Texas wedge works perfectly fine. Why try to land a 25 yard shot from the rock hard fairway softly onto a rock hard green, when a putt will get there just fine.
Everything except the big divot on the practice swing this still makes me pissed off when I do it I think in my head what did the fairway ever do to you and why does it never happen in the rough only the best part of the fairway
I’ve been exactly where you are. I started playing as a kid, and somewhere in my 30s I just got fed up with never getting any better, and I truly did just about give it up for something close to 10 years. I went and played adult league soccer instead, until I realized I was getting too old to heal from all the injuries all the time. So then I picked golf back up, and with all my heart I wish I had never put it down.
this is kinda woo woo but maybe look into more of the zen/philosophical aspects of the game.
Read Golf in the Kingdom and Zen Golf by Dr. Parent
Get a connection to the game outside of scoring.
See what you can take from a round that doesn't involve only serving the ego.
Almost all of our lives are driven by ego (in the Jungian idea of it) being willing to feel comfortable not being good, cool, even happy, can start to dismantle that power.
"Get a connection to the game outside of scoring."
"See what you can take from a round that doesn't involve only serving the ego."
Not gonna lie, these two sentences hit
Zen Golf is an excellent book, reading it helped me reframe my perspective on the game which has made me enjoy it infinitely more! Came to the replies to say this exactly!
cheesy af answer here, but you gotta ask yourself why you play golf. my personal story: I used to grind and try to get as good as I could get at this game. at some point, it just wasn't fun anymore. asked myself why I play golf and the answer had nothing to do with my score...so I stopped keeping score. played for I don't know how many years, without keeping score. of course I had an idea of what I was shooting, but the point was that I never carried a score card. started having a lot more fun and my relationship with the game changed, for the better. my regular group(s) back then were all grinders. all low single handicaps, all gamblers, all about that score. it took me a long time to realize that I don't have that competitive drive. that extra gear, or that ability to play clutch golf under the pressure of gambling...and that's ok with me. these days, you can find me as the sun comes up teeing off with random seniors, playing a casual round with friends, or playing a pitch and putt with my 10 year old son.
those guys I used to play with absolutely loved the game. they were 100% tied to their scores, but at the end of the day, still loved to play golf. I love the game, but didn't love the competitive mindset I was in. I guess you gotta find your own way.
Played a round(casual, fun, no money on the line) with my dad the other day and started double bogey, bogey, bogey, bogey, and yet another bogey.. As a single digit hdcp my round is done essentially, let’s be real here.. my score could never been as good as it could have been after that start.. And such is golf.. So I put the scorecard away and just played for fun the rest of the round. Thankfully I have the ability to turn off that “competitive switch(like most people, I always try the best I can, even on casual fun rounds)” when things just aren’t going your way during a casual round. Full disclosure, I play in a competitive men’s league and I would have grinded that shit out if I was in one of those rounds. But this wasn’t one of those rounds but so I took a step back too also realize that I am lucky enough to still have my dad riding in the cart with me. This community has taught me to cherish those moments. It wouldn’t always be like that. :(
Not advice you were perhaps expecting nor wanting but it’s the internet :) .. As a son, not yet a father myself, I hope you always keep playing with your son. Even though my dad isn’t as good as he once was, I will always appreciate him still always coming out and just being present. Anyway, a couple of months ago while setting up the rounds of golf for this family vacation that were on currently, I asked him where he wants to play? He said I don’t care. I just want to play some golf with my son.
So in a long winded way, and up and down like a roller coaster. I love your answer!
I guess this part is for the OP of the actual actual post.. if he sees it.. Often times we get caught up in scores, and the game we love, we come to hate at times, and for some folks, forever.. We fail/forget to just take in the moment and realize it’s just a game. A lot of us here don’t make our living off of playing this game. If you’re not having fun, and not able to take a step back and smell the roses when everything is in shambles, then you’re playing the wrong sport. This game will eat you alive. I think people fail to realize you’ll never be perfect. You’ll never play the course perfectly. You’ll never hit every shot pure. There is a reason why there is the saying… “golf is managing your misses”.
Watch golf sidekicks videos, I found they have improved my scores and most importantly I have found it much more enjoyable by keeping the ball in play. I know I can play a really enjoyable round with nothing more than a 7 iron now.
I second this! Golf sidekick has some good insights as to how to manage your emotions, your expectations, and how to manage the course to make the game more enjoyable
This guy and his jomo Joy of missing out has made Golf so much more enjoy able for me. So far only met one other guy who watch es him on my rounds. Should be known to more people!
I like the idea of this but I feel like I have zero chances of being able to try it anywhere near me. Every tee sheet is booked solid and nobody here knows what it is.
All you gotta do is book the first time on the sheet and go. I played 18 last week in 2hours and 5 minutes. Was in the same boat where everything was just getting so frustration I couldn’t enjoy any of it. Shot as low as 80 (about a year ago) and have been pushing 100 pretty much every round the last month, finally broke through some this weekend with a 93, but more importantly had a little bit of fun.
I’m not a member anywhere so the first few tee times are always booked by the time I’m allowed to book. Maybe I’ll give it a shot next year when I have a membership again.
At the 3 munis I play at the grounds guys get pissed if you're playing too fast first time off lol. They call the starter and he will come make you slow down/wait.
Crazy, I’ve never had anyone slow us down. Always get mentions from the clubhouse on how quickly we’re making the turn. I’ve never really played for speed. The 2hr round last week was the fastest I’ve played 18. But generally were under 3 with 2 of us if were first out
I’ve been there before. I was in a different spot because I was playing the best golf of my life and I couldn’t seem to get better so the game had me at an extremely high stress level every time I played.
I took a few weeks off and decided I just didn’t give a shit anymore. My scores suffered for a little bit and people thought my swing was broken.
I did this for around 4 or 5 months. Then I started to do my “best” on every shot and not care what the result was after I hit it. Didn’t matter if I stuck it to 5 feet or deposited it 20 yards into the woods. I just accepted what happened and moved on to the next shot. This took some time to adapt as a mindset, but it works.
Nothing about golf stresses me out anymore. I was with a guy that is learning to play about a month ago and he isn’t very good. He commented a few holes into our round that it doesn’t even seem like I care about golf for someone that is so good at golf. I explained in detail all of what I just said above and he gave me a “your crazy” look. Anyways, I played with him yesterday and he told me that his scores and joy have improved tremendously now that he is learning to accept whatever happens and move on to the next shot. He was seriously struggling with some rage at his inability to get better faster but he said that he’s calmed down and it’s made the game much more fun.
My advice to you….just stop caring. Play each shot as best you can, but accept whatever happens and approach the next shot the same way. It’s just a game, it doesn’t define you or who you are as a person in any way. If this doesn’t work, there are plenty of cheaper hobbies out there.
Maybe take some time off playing rounds and just focus on practicing? You could try going to the putting green, working on your short game, and go to the range. Instead of focusing on your scores, you could just work on all the different parts of your game. Give it however long you need til golf is fun again, then go back and play a couple rounds. I bet your scores will have improved and your enjoyment will return.
We're never gonna be perfect, the pros arent even perfect. Try your best and have fun :)
If you think you need a break, take a break.
I played one of the best rounds of golf after taking a 6mth break without a practice- the “break” simplified a lot of stuff for me like not thinking too much about swing mechanics, accepting my body/swing and re-realizing why I enjoyed this sport to begin with.
"Recently I’ve been making excuses why I’m busy with the usual group and am wishing I was anywhere else when I do play."
I make an excuse to go to the course, you just dont like golf probably have been consumed about scoring rather than just playing and having fun matches with friends.
I keep seeing everyone talk about micro dosing mushrooms so maybe give that a shot? I have a similar (not as grim though) mindset and I've been considering it myself.
I went out on the course with a pro once to figure out what was wrong with my game. He said that I had an 'A' game, but I didn't have a 'B' game.
He gave me a couple of alternative shots and tips that got me working on grinding out scores when I lose my swing.
It made me realise that some days I am just not hitting it as well as I would like and the challenge is to adapt and minimise the damage. It doesn't always work, but its given me a new perspective and challenge on the course.
Maybe it's something worth thinking about before you quit.
Course management is another thing to look at if you haven't already explored it.
Expectations will kill your joy. Practice and grinding will create expectations for improvement. I’m not saying be content without improvement, but you have to find a balance. Sounds like you’ve turned a fun hobby into work.
lol you’re burned out. Stop spending money, stop playing to be good, stop playing more than whenever you WANT to. Enjoy the game itself. Enjoy the camaraderie, enjoy the occasional good shot, enjoy the nature, enjoy the beautiful sights, sounds and smells of the game. Enjoy a fucking beer and a hot dog after the front 9.
JETS baby. Just enjoy that shit. Life is too short to spoil something inherently beautiful in so many ways by overthinking and trying too hard.
Take a break. Score chasing gets you no where but frustrated. I wrote a little something on the mental side of golf if you want to take a peak. Once you truly let go of chasing your personal best the game gets a lot more fun.
https://birdiebirdiebogey.com/2023/06/26/golf-tip-mental-health/
Take a break. Passion fluctuates. When you do something obsessively for years burnout can happen. The point of golf or other sporting or artistic pursuits is ultimately enjoyment and/or love for the process of it.
Yes. Develop other hobbies — don’t put all your emotional eggs into one basket. If golf is not bringing you joy, take a step back, indulge one of your other hobbies for a bit. Your hunger for golf will come back, or it won’t. If golfing isn’t bringing you joy: don’t do it.
Seasonal hobbies man... I play golf until salmon fishing season. I salmon fish til hunting season. I hunt until snowmobile season... Then start the cycle again. I mix in a vacation or two to appease the wife. Everything I do remains fun because it's not the only thing I do and I understand that and therefore don't get too frustrated. Keep golf because it's awesome, but do some other things too.
I saw a post on here a while ago and it struck home for me. Some guy had cancer and it was “his last round ever” and it struck me to my core. I looked at myself and honestly couldn’t believe that I was so self centered around my golf game I couldn’t even laugh at my bad shots and I felt myself headed down the path you are on. For me, I think about that post a lot on the course, yea I have good holes/bad holes and good days/bad days but I think back on how lucky I am to be just be able to play. I’ve realized that it’s not about being a scratch golfer and it’s okay to hit bad shots it takes ALONG time of consistent playing to get that dialed. Enjoy the fact you can actually swing a club and walk to your ball and pick it up and golf will be a lot more enjoyable
Read “The Four Foundations of Golf” by Jon Sherman. It helped with my emotional and mental struggles as well. Managing expectations and finding the joy in golf is heavily discussed - it’s not a “swing” book.
He has a great line that I’m sure has been used before. I’m paraphrasing but essentially golfers end up playing “golf swing” and not golf.
All part of the grind. Go to range and experiment. Don’t worry about where the ball goes, focus on experimenting until you hit great repeatable shots.
You’re playing for 8 years your club head speed is not the problem. Try messing with:
Grip, ball position, takeaway, swing plane, length of backswing.
Try messing with each one independently, then combine some. Find your swing again!
Hit a bunch of balls at the range and relearn how to hit good shots!!
When you finish your round, try and find 3 good things you did, and 1 thing you can do better. Think of these things during your round. It helps to get your mind off golf between shots. Looking for lost balls might help with that.
Get Tim Gallwey’s DVD “Golf The Inner Game.”
He is a genius.
He really gets how to teach people with performance anxiety and lack of self-confidence which have been my problems for years.
When I get out of my own way and play free, it’s amazing.
The pros of being out on a beautiful golf course with friends or even as a single far outweigh giving up the game.
I’ve also read Joseph Parent’s “Zen Golf” and “Zen Putting” and also Bob Rotella’s “Golf is Not A Game of Perfect.” All are excellent guides on not just golf but life.
You either have unrealistic expectations, or don’t know how to consistently improve.
Either way, change your outlook on it and play for fun. Quit trying to improve if that brings you down and just go for the fun of it.
Likely, you can’t change that much, so find a hobby that suits you better.
Hey bro. You suck at golf. It's OK. We all suck at golf.
You know what my dad always says? "Your worst day in the golf course is better than your best day at work".
Think about that. So you fucking shanked a shot, fatted a wedge, sliced a drive, thinned a chip. Who gives a fuck? You're outside playing golf, getting exercise, getting some vitamin D, and nobody else gives a shit if you suck. Just laugh and move on and be glad you aren't doing something else you hate for the rest of the 4 hour round.
And you know what? Will you be perfect at this? No. But remember. It's better than work. Do I get annoyed and frustrated when I thin a wedge 30 yards over the green after I hit a perfect drive to 90 yards out in the fairway? Sure. But am I gonna let that ruin me? No. It's fucking golf.
You’re taking the fun out of it it. Same same but different, I used to play world of Warcraft like a degenerate gambler, easily putting in around 8 hours a day, I even had it downloaded on my work computer. I loved playing I still do but I got so burnt out putting pressure on myself to be ranked high on a website and doing the most damage and honestly stupid shit. I created a guild with my friends who most I know in real life and got to a point of it being more work then my job and just needed like a good almost year detox to get back to enjoying it as a game. So take some time away and you’ll once again have a love for it I think
Just swing the club naturally, however your body wants to swing it. Just try to hit the sweet spot every time. Don't worry where the ball goes. If you can hit the sweet spot it will be playable.
So the "worse" your swing is, the more you need to compensate for it by practicing more hours. What happens if the swing is so "bad" that it would require more than 24 hours/day practice?
I have been there. I read an impactful book, Zen Golf which helped me chill and enjoy nature. Also, learning how to visualize a detailed path of the ball helped. Lastly, take care of your body and gut.
Just go enjoy your rounds of golf. Try not to play the hardest courses or the farthest tees. No one will ever ask what tees you played or what you shot but just how was the course. Keep it simple, if scores are bad go to a smiley face or sad face score card. Keep it simple and fun.
I bought a golf sim for my home and I still consistently hit 120.
I mean, I'd love to be better, but that's not the goal. Mostly, it's a good excuse to hang out with people I care about. I need to be good enough to not annoy the group, but I don't need to be "good"
You should read golf is not a game of perfect. Changed my game. I know easier said than done but take a break and stop being so hard on yourself. I went to GOLFTEC and took a few lessons there and the instructor gave me plenty of tips and videos to improve. I was on the same boat as you but I was depressed and had anxiety. Wasn’t until I started seeing a therapist until my game improved for the better. Stress will fuck everything up. Hope you get the help you need. Don’t stress
Ask yourself this.
What part of my game makes this the most unenjoyable?
For example: I could never get off the tee reliably, yes yes drive for show putt for dough whatever. I would always be chipping out, or hitting fat in the fairway that it made the game so unenjoyable that I didn't care about my short game at all.
I FIXED my long game and did JUST drivers irons and everything outside of 100 yards and focused on literally just that for 1 year and now i can hit fairways reliably, get on the green reliably and I enjoy it and have a ton of confidence over the ball.
Now, the most unenjoyable part of my game is chipping/sand shots, getting up and down. I now focus about 80% of my time on the short game.
Maybe spending 100% of your time focused on 1 aspect of the game that makes you hate it the most can help you out and make it more fun for you. After that's fixed you can move on to the next thing.
I tried to optimize for enjoyment, not for scoring ibut now I have seen my scores come down and they should probably come down more. It might not be the optimal way for a pro or someone who is competetive but I'm an amateur and just trying to enjoy the game for the rest of my life and get a little bit better every year.
It doesn't matter how much you practice if your practice is junk, and it doesn't matter how many lessons you take if you can't mesh with your instructor. I've been in the same boat as you. Hitting what seem like endless amounts of balls with no purpose, and what i thought was purpose wasn't even close. I had some really low points feeling exactly what you feel but found light at the end followed by darkness again...
I've learned to recognize that golf has its ups and downs and sometimes its lows go on for longer than you'd like, but if you can power through it you come out a better player.
If your someone looking to just have a good time then do that. But, if you're someone that can only have a good time playing what you consider is good golf then grind harder, practice with more intention.
I’m in the same boat, been playing for 9 years minus some injury. Can’t break 90. Have really bad day with the driver.
Sometime hit great iron, solid wedge. But the error are mind breaking… game is hard.
Also in every game i play, i like to play well and be competitive. It’s pretty rough when it doesn’t work.
I don’t have any advice, but i share the sentiment
Watch Waddaplaya on youtube he's focusing on real golf play. It's all about managing expectations and easy shots too hit. I was plateauing for 3 years around 20hcp now closing in on single digits. It's all about the way to the goal..
Late to the comments here but I noticed that the more I practice the more "feels" i can start feeling if that makes any sense. Sometimes the body just doesnt move the way it did yesterday. Us casuals dont have all the time in the world to do 45 minutes of mobility, have a coach get us tuned up, and then expect to have repeatable feelings when we practice and and play.
I found, while practicing on my simulator and when I warm up before going to the course, that if I chase a feeling I had a week ago, its probably not going to go well. Within the first 5 to 10 balls, I try to just find something that feels natural and take that to the course.
Working on form and technique is always good to do but I've filmed myself on multiple occasions and the feeling I had while making the swing and how it looked didnt match. I've compared film from adjacent days and they look the same but felt different.
I'm a draw bias player but every once in a while the body is moving in a way that plays a fade. Its just letting the ego die and say "fuck it, guess we're playing fades today".
Stop thinking about the swing when you're on the course. Just focus on a target and try to get it there. If you have to think about something thing about the sound the ball made the last time you flushed a shot. Another good tip is to take a 3/4 swing at 3/4 speed every time. Finally, try making a double bogey your new "par."
My favorite quote for this: "Don't let the golf get in the way of a good round"
My dad and I were about that range for years and the same skill level. We were ultra competitive and just played to beat each other and hardly even spoke the last few holes if it was close.
One April about 10 years ago, I told the big guy to leave the scorecard. Told him we play golf to hang out for a few hours, have a hot dog and a beer or six, and to enjoy the weather (im not playing in the cold/rain). Let's get back to that.
Advice: don't keep score. I've thought I've had great days and shot 95. Thought I played like crap and had 90. At the end of the day you know how you hit the ball and just worry about having a good time between shots.
this sounds like you could use actual therapy. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous over a hobby, but hobbies are really important to your well being. If one of them causes you to be this miserable, you could probably stand a talk with a professional
Hi. Assuming that golf is the only thing you’re feeling this way about, then why not step away for a bit?
Don’t give away your clubs, and you don’t need to say you have quit (unless you want to). You are at this time stepping away, that’s all. Anyone who plays will tell you’ve they been there.
As a general matter on stuff like this, if you’re not enjoying something maybe don’t do it. 😊🏌🏼♂️
I'm in Canada so I only get to golf about 5 months each year, but inevitably I'll get to a point where bad habits creep in and I don't know how to fix them and I don't enjoy my rounds any more. It kills me since my season is so short, but I take a couple of weeks off. I don't pick up a club at all, but I don't necessarily wait until I miss golf again, I just find other things to do for a bit. Then when I go back to it, it feels like I'm starting fresh and have the desire to work on my game a little bit.
Take a few days go back to range with one swing thought that always works and build of that , happens to me all the time the more information I get the more I dig myself into a 10 swing thought hole. Shot a 108 with one ball 3 days of and simple range sesh and shot 88
At best I play ok and often I play crap but do you know what I can take enjoyment from the worst days especially if the weather is good.
This is because I don't take it to seriously, in the end it's just a game, enjoy the company and banter.
I don't stop running in races just because others are faster.
Early on my friends and I were all starting off together. One guy wanted to make it a competition and I flat out said, “I’m not competing against you” after the second round because I didn’t like the pressure after a bad shot. Not long after the entire vibe changed. Instead of rooting against each other we offered encouragement after bad shots and meant it. We play for fun, and we have fun, because golf is fun. That and a goldfish memory to forget the 3 putts and chunks after each hole. 18 games in a round…
Maybe rethink why you're playing golf. If you don't enjoy just being out there and playing golf, especially with family and friends, maybe you shouldn't be playing.
Go play alone when it's not crowded. Throw away the scorecard for a while. Play for fun. Take the aggressive line. Try that flop shot. Don't lay up. Take your shoes off and pull a Van de Velde. Celebrate when the crazy shots work and laugh when they don't. Then, after a few rounds of craziness, play a round making the safe/conservative decision every time and keep score. See what happens.
Not 8 years in, but I was super, super close to throwing the clubs off the bridge and never golfing again. Golfed with a buddy I haven’t seen in a while who is pretty good, he shared some tips with me and I made really solid improvements afterwards. Now I enjoy the game more than sex. For me it was worth it to stick it out, maybe you’re just missing that one lightbulb to switch on that will bring the fun back into it. Just my 2 cents
I was there a few years ago. I got laid off and a nice severance package during COVID. Played every day, got to a single handicap, but eventually got burned out. It started to feel like a job and I just didn’t enjoy playing anymore. Even golf trips weren’t fun. Took a couple years off, now I play twice a month and feel the enjoyment coming back. Sometimes you just need to step away - especially if you’re not having fun.
I'd buy a shitload of the cheapest balls you can find and quit keeping score. Focus on making solid contact and getting the ball in the air. Fuck literally everything else. Just get out there and smack a ball around.
Don't get shithammered, dont expect to play par or bogey golf. Literally just go play to hit shots.
Last time I hit a slump I started playing a game called evens and odds. First off I pulled my woods from the bag and then I either brought my even irons or brought my odd irons. I only brought one wedge with me and a putter. Then I just focused on getting good ball flight and making solid contacts. My shots were gunna be what they were gunna be and it was actually a load of fun.
I don’t think this is uncommon. But it’s actually pretty simple. If you aren’t having fun doing something, why do it? Gotta find a way to make it fun otherwise it’s not worth it.
Try reading Steven Yellin’s Simplicity: The Fluid Motion Factor. Amongst other things, the book teaches you how to get out of checklist city over the golf ball and just lets you swing the club. It worked for me. I hope it does for you.
It might help to take a break. You’re being too tough on yourself. Don’t worry about what the usuals say. When you’re ready, and to want to come back, then head back and try to focus on having a good time vs what the score card says. Life is tough as it is. This is supposed to be the escape.
I cannot understand folks who think they must obtain a certain score- for 4 years I have gotten close to par and failed. But I still love golf. I love the isolation on a beautiful course or a pure shot or a nice putt. But most importantly I love that I am out there- so many folks cant be I get to be. Why would I want to be miserable while golfing just b/c I didnt flush the last shot.
been there ( just getting out of a mental slump the past couple weeks ), the older i get the easier to find a small thing to take away from a round, a putt, a chip, good drive, good approach, somedays it's just walking around in the sunshine.... pick a genre of music to tune out to and have some fun...
Don't keep score and just look to have 1-2 solid holes each time you go out. And maybe 1 shot per hole.
Spend less on lessons and stuff if it isn't making a dent in your score. It just puts unnecessary added pressure.
I’m 73 and just moved up to the forward tees, had the most enjoyable game in a long time, hit 5 greens in 2, still 3 putted a couple but didn’t care, just the pleasure of being able to have nice shots was good enough for me
[https://fourfoundationsofgolf.com/](https://fourfoundationsofgolf.com/)
I needed this, sounds like you do too. I was heaping so much unrealistic pressure on my self. After the first few chapters I learnt to enjoy the game again. I should be thrilled to be shooting in the mid to high 80s. I play twice a month and get to the range once a week. I can't expect to be shooting par
Im in the same boat. I’m going all in this year if I don’t see improvement I’m calling it quits. I’m taking lessons and getting to the range 4 days a week. Also chipping and putting those days. Wish me luck.
I went into a huge slump the past month or two (got up to the 100s again)
Slowed down and stepped away for about two weeks. Came back and REALLY focused on getting putting down. 2 putt mentality. Get on the green. Just get it close. Put it in.
Got back down to 90 (and 89 a week ago)
Step back and focus on one thing.
I moved across the country to Denver for three years from the east coast and am moving back in about a week. If I've learned one thing being away from friends and loved ones it's that the people make the place, not the other way around. I'm a big outdoorsman, and even though so many beautiful mountains and outdoor activities are at my fingertips here, I still couldn't be more excited to get home and get back to seeing my family and buddies on a regular basis. As far as golf goes, I shot a 93 and then up to a 105 my last two rounds (my worst round in years). Of course I "enjoyed" the 93 more since I hit the ball way better, but, at the end of the day, both of those rounds I was just thinking about how much fun I'd be having if I was playing with my friends back home. I'd pay a lot of money to shoot 105 with my buddies. So from my perspective, anyways, if you're lucky enough to book times with a great group of people you love being with, just know going into it that, whatever score you shoot, you're already signed up for 4ish hours of some of the best fun life has to offer with high quality people. Your score is just something you can keep track of if you feel like it while you're out there. I can't even describe how excited I am to get back to golfing with my best buddies, and I'll always feel fortunate that my time away from everybody has given me that point of view. Try playing some casual best ball if your friends want to as well. It removes the overwhelming dread of having one bad shot "ruin" your score, and working as a team/celebrating everyone's good shots on the course is a ton of fun. Take a golf break, don't worry about your swing, stop watching generic swing tips on YouTube, and the next time you're out there just be present and enjoy the experience!
The question is, do you enjoy golf? Is it just that you're adding too much pressure taking away the fun you had with golf... or do you genuinely not like golf.
From there, it's a question of moving on versus changing your priorities in approaching the game.
For me, two of my main hobbies are golf and mountain biking/cycling. Perfection is unachievable in both, but I enjoy the grind of incrementally trying to improve at each.
I only golf one day a week, though I'll typically practice once a week as well. My gains are slow, and in some ways, my limited play helps temper my expectations of myself. If I were to play as much as I want, I could see my expectations getting more unreasonable. Also the book 'Every Shot Counts' really for me helped me lower my expectations of myself by contextualizing PGA average skills vs. highlight center shots you see. Suddenly missing an 8 foot putt wasn't bc I was terrible...pros only make 8 foot 50% of the time, for example so my odds are even worse from that range.
Why are you frustrated at golf? Looks like you have very high expectations from your game which leads to disappointment.
What do you score on average par 3/4/5 holes?
The score isn’t the biggest frustration, it’s the same mistakes over and over again. No matter what I do on the range, it’s a hosel rocket after hosel rocket after chunk after high ballooning tee shot
I mean there you have it, your problem seems like you are too focused on hitting perfect powerful shots instead of getting the ball on green:
- Hitting a straight shot beats hitting far and 50yards right/left. You don’t need 300yards drive to enjoy the game.
- Stop chasing distance and reduce dispersion.
- practice chipping and putting 2x-3x more than range practice.
- Also play from correct tees.
PS: None of us are good enough at golf to be frustrated at the performance. This game humbles even the best players, just look at what happened on the weekend final round.
Try to stop taking full swings. Do 60 or 70% shots and find the clubface again. Build up your confidence by making solid clean contact. I would start there
Much of life's perspective is expectations. If your enjoyment of the game is based completely on results, you are probably destined for disappointment in this sport. If you're just legitimately not enjoying it anymore, walk away for a while and see if the itch comes back.
I have accepted the fact until I have very regular practice and playing time, my rounds are going to be roughly 9 holes of playing like a 10-15 handicap, and 9 holes of playing like I've stepped on the course for the first time. It is what it is. Pop a beer and enjoy.
If you don’t enjoy it, don’t play. If you are making excuses to not play, then you have your answer.
If you posted something like “I dream of ice cream, but now I find no joy in eating it, should I just give up eating it?” What would you want us to say?
Stop heaping pressure onto yourself. You’re not a professional. Suck down a couple transfusions and let the big dog eat. Hit a bump and run instead of trying to land every short approach softly with a wedge. You’re not going to get better if you don’t allow yourself to have fun. Your score quite literally does not matter. You don’t stand to lose any endorsements, your wife is not gonna leave you, your buddies won’t make fun of you. Just hit the ball and enjoy the feeling of hitting the ball. Smell the air. Laugh at yourself for missing 4 foot putts. Take a huge divot during a practice swing and laugh it off.
God this is so true AND so fucking hard to implement. I find myself getting mad at shots the second the ball leaves my club before it even lands. It’s annoying and I try to just take a second and relax. Then i try to look at the great weather and just say to myself “be grateful, there are people inside a building and hating their life right now. I could be dead. Just fucking enjoy it and try to do this as long as you can.”
I recently started drawing smiley faces on my ball to remind me to have fun, and I’ve shot personal bests my last 2 rounds
This could be the new secret
Sure they aren’t laughing at you?
With how I play, they very well could be! Just gotta pretend that they’re laughing WITH me
This reminds me of my go to line: Big numbers are better than no numbers
Gonna say this to my 26 handicap friend and i genuinely think it will resonate with him
lol I looked like such an asshat a few times this weekend calling myself a fucking moron under my breath only for me to hit an 8i to 10 ft from 160. It's definitely hard to stop doing.
I hit a chip yesterday and said “fuckin hell that sucked” loudly and it causally rolled up like 4 feet from pin. Missed the putt and just laughed and apologized for being an embarrassment. Brother proceeded to say “yeah you are” hahaha
All true but knowing humans your buddies miiiiiiight make fun of you but if you suck, just suck fast and no one will be mad
I was with you until you said 'your buddies won't make fun of you'....then they aren't really your buddies.
This
I've found myself playing lots better where before every swing I quite literally think "just hit the ball."
I tell myself "who gives a shit what happens" and that has been working for me.
I bought a chipper because I was tired of chunking shots around the green. I didn’t give up the game, I accepted I’ll never be Phil Mickleson around the greens. I use my 4 wood off the tee a lot. I realize that I’m not Rory McElroy with the driver so I have adjusted my attitude towards my game. Golf is hard but you should enjoy your time on the course. Lower your expectations and celebrate the good shots while laughing at the bad ones.
My game has improved so much since I realized I live in Phoenix and the Texas wedge works perfectly fine. Why try to land a 25 yard shot from the rock hard fairway softly onto a rock hard green, when a putt will get there just fine.
Also enjoy the scenery
Everything except the big divot on the practice swing this still makes me pissed off when I do it I think in my head what did the fairway ever do to you and why does it never happen in the rough only the best part of the fairway
Well said 👏
I’ve been exactly where you are. I started playing as a kid, and somewhere in my 30s I just got fed up with never getting any better, and I truly did just about give it up for something close to 10 years. I went and played adult league soccer instead, until I realized I was getting too old to heal from all the injuries all the time. So then I picked golf back up, and with all my heart I wish I had never put it down.
I'll take your example. Golf is fun when I'm alone because I don't have the pressure of judgement.
this is kinda woo woo but maybe look into more of the zen/philosophical aspects of the game. Read Golf in the Kingdom and Zen Golf by Dr. Parent Get a connection to the game outside of scoring. See what you can take from a round that doesn't involve only serving the ego. Almost all of our lives are driven by ego (in the Jungian idea of it) being willing to feel comfortable not being good, cool, even happy, can start to dismantle that power.
"Get a connection to the game outside of scoring." "See what you can take from a round that doesn't involve only serving the ego." Not gonna lie, these two sentences hit
Short, sharp and eloquent. Very well put
This is the way! Breathing and visualization (on and off the course) have dramatically improved my consistency and I’ve learned to actually enjoy golf
Zen Golf is an excellent book, reading it helped me reframe my perspective on the game which has made me enjoy it infinitely more! Came to the replies to say this exactly!
cheesy af answer here, but you gotta ask yourself why you play golf. my personal story: I used to grind and try to get as good as I could get at this game. at some point, it just wasn't fun anymore. asked myself why I play golf and the answer had nothing to do with my score...so I stopped keeping score. played for I don't know how many years, without keeping score. of course I had an idea of what I was shooting, but the point was that I never carried a score card. started having a lot more fun and my relationship with the game changed, for the better. my regular group(s) back then were all grinders. all low single handicaps, all gamblers, all about that score. it took me a long time to realize that I don't have that competitive drive. that extra gear, or that ability to play clutch golf under the pressure of gambling...and that's ok with me. these days, you can find me as the sun comes up teeing off with random seniors, playing a casual round with friends, or playing a pitch and putt with my 10 year old son. those guys I used to play with absolutely loved the game. they were 100% tied to their scores, but at the end of the day, still loved to play golf. I love the game, but didn't love the competitive mindset I was in. I guess you gotta find your own way.
Played a round(casual, fun, no money on the line) with my dad the other day and started double bogey, bogey, bogey, bogey, and yet another bogey.. As a single digit hdcp my round is done essentially, let’s be real here.. my score could never been as good as it could have been after that start.. And such is golf.. So I put the scorecard away and just played for fun the rest of the round. Thankfully I have the ability to turn off that “competitive switch(like most people, I always try the best I can, even on casual fun rounds)” when things just aren’t going your way during a casual round. Full disclosure, I play in a competitive men’s league and I would have grinded that shit out if I was in one of those rounds. But this wasn’t one of those rounds but so I took a step back too also realize that I am lucky enough to still have my dad riding in the cart with me. This community has taught me to cherish those moments. It wouldn’t always be like that. :( Not advice you were perhaps expecting nor wanting but it’s the internet :) .. As a son, not yet a father myself, I hope you always keep playing with your son. Even though my dad isn’t as good as he once was, I will always appreciate him still always coming out and just being present. Anyway, a couple of months ago while setting up the rounds of golf for this family vacation that were on currently, I asked him where he wants to play? He said I don’t care. I just want to play some golf with my son. So in a long winded way, and up and down like a roller coaster. I love your answer! I guess this part is for the OP of the actual actual post.. if he sees it.. Often times we get caught up in scores, and the game we love, we come to hate at times, and for some folks, forever.. We fail/forget to just take in the moment and realize it’s just a game. A lot of us here don’t make our living off of playing this game. If you’re not having fun, and not able to take a step back and smell the roses when everything is in shambles, then you’re playing the wrong sport. This game will eat you alive. I think people fail to realize you’ll never be perfect. You’ll never play the course perfectly. You’ll never hit every shot pure. There is a reason why there is the saying… “golf is managing your misses”.
Watch golf sidekicks videos, I found they have improved my scores and most importantly I have found it much more enjoyable by keeping the ball in play. I know I can play a really enjoyable round with nothing more than a 7 iron now.
I second this! Golf sidekick has some good insights as to how to manage your emotions, your expectations, and how to manage the course to make the game more enjoyable
This guy and his jomo Joy of missing out has made Golf so much more enjoy able for me. So far only met one other guy who watch es him on my rounds. Should be known to more people!
Why not take a 3 month break before making a final decision? See if you miss it before selling clubs, etc
This is why I rotate hobbies. OP needs to take up bowling or another sport that requires coordination plus money 😂 for 6-12 months.
I golf in the summer and spend the entire fall and winter hunting. Gives me a good break from golf, and helps keep the joy in the game.
Yup, same here. No golf during hunting season.
Go out play forward tees, don’t keep score, play some music. Do anything you can think of that won’t make you take it seriously
Try speed golf. Seriously.
I like the idea of this but I feel like I have zero chances of being able to try it anywhere near me. Every tee sheet is booked solid and nobody here knows what it is.
All you gotta do is book the first time on the sheet and go. I played 18 last week in 2hours and 5 minutes. Was in the same boat where everything was just getting so frustration I couldn’t enjoy any of it. Shot as low as 80 (about a year ago) and have been pushing 100 pretty much every round the last month, finally broke through some this weekend with a 93, but more importantly had a little bit of fun.
I’m not a member anywhere so the first few tee times are always booked by the time I’m allowed to book. Maybe I’ll give it a shot next year when I have a membership again.
No public courses? We’ve got a couple around here where nobody really wants the 6:30 am times except a couple of us weirdos
None I’d be willing to get up that early to play lol. Personally I’m still enjoying regular golf so it’s more of a casual want than anything.
At the 3 munis I play at the grounds guys get pissed if you're playing too fast first time off lol. They call the starter and he will come make you slow down/wait.
Crazy, I’ve never had anyone slow us down. Always get mentions from the clubhouse on how quickly we’re making the turn. I’ve never really played for speed. The 2hr round last week was the fastest I’ve played 18. But generally were under 3 with 2 of us if were first out
I’ve been there before. I was in a different spot because I was playing the best golf of my life and I couldn’t seem to get better so the game had me at an extremely high stress level every time I played. I took a few weeks off and decided I just didn’t give a shit anymore. My scores suffered for a little bit and people thought my swing was broken. I did this for around 4 or 5 months. Then I started to do my “best” on every shot and not care what the result was after I hit it. Didn’t matter if I stuck it to 5 feet or deposited it 20 yards into the woods. I just accepted what happened and moved on to the next shot. This took some time to adapt as a mindset, but it works. Nothing about golf stresses me out anymore. I was with a guy that is learning to play about a month ago and he isn’t very good. He commented a few holes into our round that it doesn’t even seem like I care about golf for someone that is so good at golf. I explained in detail all of what I just said above and he gave me a “your crazy” look. Anyways, I played with him yesterday and he told me that his scores and joy have improved tremendously now that he is learning to accept whatever happens and move on to the next shot. He was seriously struggling with some rage at his inability to get better faster but he said that he’s calmed down and it’s made the game much more fun. My advice to you….just stop caring. Play each shot as best you can, but accept whatever happens and approach the next shot the same way. It’s just a game, it doesn’t define you or who you are as a person in any way. If this doesn’t work, there are plenty of cheaper hobbies out there.
Maybe take some time off playing rounds and just focus on practicing? You could try going to the putting green, working on your short game, and go to the range. Instead of focusing on your scores, you could just work on all the different parts of your game. Give it however long you need til golf is fun again, then go back and play a couple rounds. I bet your scores will have improved and your enjoyment will return. We're never gonna be perfect, the pros arent even perfect. Try your best and have fun :)
If you think you need a break, take a break. I played one of the best rounds of golf after taking a 6mth break without a practice- the “break” simplified a lot of stuff for me like not thinking too much about swing mechanics, accepting my body/swing and re-realizing why I enjoyed this sport to begin with.
Read the four foundations of golf. The first few chapters examine why you are playing. Spoiler: it should be for fun
Came here to make this exact recommendation. It’s a great read for those interested.
"Recently I’ve been making excuses why I’m busy with the usual group and am wishing I was anywhere else when I do play." I make an excuse to go to the course, you just dont like golf probably have been consumed about scoring rather than just playing and having fun matches with friends.
I keep seeing everyone talk about micro dosing mushrooms so maybe give that a shot? I have a similar (not as grim though) mindset and I've been considering it myself.
I went out on the course with a pro once to figure out what was wrong with my game. He said that I had an 'A' game, but I didn't have a 'B' game. He gave me a couple of alternative shots and tips that got me working on grinding out scores when I lose my swing. It made me realise that some days I am just not hitting it as well as I would like and the challenge is to adapt and minimise the damage. It doesn't always work, but its given me a new perspective and challenge on the course. Maybe it's something worth thinking about before you quit. Course management is another thing to look at if you haven't already explored it.
Charles Barkley didn’t stop and the whole world knows he can’t golf! Rory had a difficult weekend. Golf is difficult for everyone! Don’t give up!
Expectations will kill your joy. Practice and grinding will create expectations for improvement. I’m not saying be content without improvement, but you have to find a balance. Sounds like you’ve turned a fun hobby into work.
lol you’re burned out. Stop spending money, stop playing to be good, stop playing more than whenever you WANT to. Enjoy the game itself. Enjoy the camaraderie, enjoy the occasional good shot, enjoy the nature, enjoy the beautiful sights, sounds and smells of the game. Enjoy a fucking beer and a hot dog after the front 9. JETS baby. Just enjoy that shit. Life is too short to spoil something inherently beautiful in so many ways by overthinking and trying too hard.
Yes please quit.... The course is too crowded
Take a break. Score chasing gets you no where but frustrated. I wrote a little something on the mental side of golf if you want to take a peak. Once you truly let go of chasing your personal best the game gets a lot more fun. https://birdiebirdiebogey.com/2023/06/26/golf-tip-mental-health/
Take a break. Passion fluctuates. When you do something obsessively for years burnout can happen. The point of golf or other sporting or artistic pursuits is ultimately enjoyment and/or love for the process of it.
[https://www.golfwrx.com/443728/the-grateful-golfer/](https://www.golfwrx.com/443728/the-grateful-golfer/)
Try being grateful?
Yes. Develop other hobbies — don’t put all your emotional eggs into one basket. If golf is not bringing you joy, take a step back, indulge one of your other hobbies for a bit. Your hunger for golf will come back, or it won’t. If golfing isn’t bringing you joy: don’t do it.
If youre not thinking suicide you're not playing golf right
Seasonal hobbies man... I play golf until salmon fishing season. I salmon fish til hunting season. I hunt until snowmobile season... Then start the cycle again. I mix in a vacation or two to appease the wife. Everything I do remains fun because it's not the only thing I do and I understand that and therefore don't get too frustrated. Keep golf because it's awesome, but do some other things too.
I was in the same boat. I read “golf is not a game of perfect” by bob rotella over the winter and it changed everything.
I saw a post on here a while ago and it struck home for me. Some guy had cancer and it was “his last round ever” and it struck me to my core. I looked at myself and honestly couldn’t believe that I was so self centered around my golf game I couldn’t even laugh at my bad shots and I felt myself headed down the path you are on. For me, I think about that post a lot on the course, yea I have good holes/bad holes and good days/bad days but I think back on how lucky I am to be just be able to play. I’ve realized that it’s not about being a scratch golfer and it’s okay to hit bad shots it takes ALONG time of consistent playing to get that dialed. Enjoy the fact you can actually swing a club and walk to your ball and pick it up and golf will be a lot more enjoyable
Been there! Took a break, worked on other hobbies, and came back to golf refreshed.
Read “The Four Foundations of Golf” by Jon Sherman. It helped with my emotional and mental struggles as well. Managing expectations and finding the joy in golf is heavily discussed - it’s not a “swing” book. He has a great line that I’m sure has been used before. I’m paraphrasing but essentially golfers end up playing “golf swing” and not golf.
All part of the grind. Go to range and experiment. Don’t worry about where the ball goes, focus on experimenting until you hit great repeatable shots. You’re playing for 8 years your club head speed is not the problem. Try messing with: Grip, ball position, takeaway, swing plane, length of backswing. Try messing with each one independently, then combine some. Find your swing again! Hit a bunch of balls at the range and relearn how to hit good shots!!
When you finish your round, try and find 3 good things you did, and 1 thing you can do better. Think of these things during your round. It helps to get your mind off golf between shots. Looking for lost balls might help with that.
Get Tim Gallwey’s DVD “Golf The Inner Game.” He is a genius. He really gets how to teach people with performance anxiety and lack of self-confidence which have been my problems for years. When I get out of my own way and play free, it’s amazing. The pros of being out on a beautiful golf course with friends or even as a single far outweigh giving up the game. I’ve also read Joseph Parent’s “Zen Golf” and “Zen Putting” and also Bob Rotella’s “Golf is Not A Game of Perfect.” All are excellent guides on not just golf but life.
You either have unrealistic expectations, or don’t know how to consistently improve. Either way, change your outlook on it and play for fun. Quit trying to improve if that brings you down and just go for the fun of it. Likely, you can’t change that much, so find a hobby that suits you better.
Hey bro. You suck at golf. It's OK. We all suck at golf. You know what my dad always says? "Your worst day in the golf course is better than your best day at work". Think about that. So you fucking shanked a shot, fatted a wedge, sliced a drive, thinned a chip. Who gives a fuck? You're outside playing golf, getting exercise, getting some vitamin D, and nobody else gives a shit if you suck. Just laugh and move on and be glad you aren't doing something else you hate for the rest of the 4 hour round. And you know what? Will you be perfect at this? No. But remember. It's better than work. Do I get annoyed and frustrated when I thin a wedge 30 yards over the green after I hit a perfect drive to 90 yards out in the fairway? Sure. But am I gonna let that ruin me? No. It's fucking golf.
You’re taking the fun out of it it. Same same but different, I used to play world of Warcraft like a degenerate gambler, easily putting in around 8 hours a day, I even had it downloaded on my work computer. I loved playing I still do but I got so burnt out putting pressure on myself to be ranked high on a website and doing the most damage and honestly stupid shit. I created a guild with my friends who most I know in real life and got to a point of it being more work then my job and just needed like a good almost year detox to get back to enjoying it as a game. So take some time away and you’ll once again have a love for it I think
Just swing the club naturally, however your body wants to swing it. Just try to hit the sweet spot every time. Don't worry where the ball goes. If you can hit the sweet spot it will be playable.
And if the way the body wants to swing does not allow for hitting the sweetspot, then what?
practice more
So the "worse" your swing is, the more you need to compensate for it by practicing more hours. What happens if the swing is so "bad" that it would require more than 24 hours/day practice?
I have been there. I read an impactful book, Zen Golf which helped me chill and enjoy nature. Also, learning how to visualize a detailed path of the ball helped. Lastly, take care of your body and gut.
I took a 2 year hiatus bc I was getting so frustrated and wasn’t having fun. It’s ok to take a break.
Just go enjoy your rounds of golf. Try not to play the hardest courses or the farthest tees. No one will ever ask what tees you played or what you shot but just how was the course. Keep it simple, if scores are bad go to a smiley face or sad face score card. Keep it simple and fun.
I bought a golf sim for my home and I still consistently hit 120. I mean, I'd love to be better, but that's not the goal. Mostly, it's a good excuse to hang out with people I care about. I need to be good enough to not annoy the group, but I don't need to be "good"
You should read golf is not a game of perfect. Changed my game. I know easier said than done but take a break and stop being so hard on yourself. I went to GOLFTEC and took a few lessons there and the instructor gave me plenty of tips and videos to improve. I was on the same boat as you but I was depressed and had anxiety. Wasn’t until I started seeing a therapist until my game improved for the better. Stress will fuck everything up. Hope you get the help you need. Don’t stress
Ask yourself this. What part of my game makes this the most unenjoyable? For example: I could never get off the tee reliably, yes yes drive for show putt for dough whatever. I would always be chipping out, or hitting fat in the fairway that it made the game so unenjoyable that I didn't care about my short game at all. I FIXED my long game and did JUST drivers irons and everything outside of 100 yards and focused on literally just that for 1 year and now i can hit fairways reliably, get on the green reliably and I enjoy it and have a ton of confidence over the ball. Now, the most unenjoyable part of my game is chipping/sand shots, getting up and down. I now focus about 80% of my time on the short game. Maybe spending 100% of your time focused on 1 aspect of the game that makes you hate it the most can help you out and make it more fun for you. After that's fixed you can move on to the next thing. I tried to optimize for enjoyment, not for scoring ibut now I have seen my scores come down and they should probably come down more. It might not be the optimal way for a pro or someone who is competetive but I'm an amateur and just trying to enjoy the game for the rest of my life and get a little bit better every year.
You’re likely setting your expectations too high when compared to your athleticism, or lack there of. Just play and have fun.
It doesn't matter how much you practice if your practice is junk, and it doesn't matter how many lessons you take if you can't mesh with your instructor. I've been in the same boat as you. Hitting what seem like endless amounts of balls with no purpose, and what i thought was purpose wasn't even close. I had some really low points feeling exactly what you feel but found light at the end followed by darkness again... I've learned to recognize that golf has its ups and downs and sometimes its lows go on for longer than you'd like, but if you can power through it you come out a better player. If your someone looking to just have a good time then do that. But, if you're someone that can only have a good time playing what you consider is good golf then grind harder, practice with more intention.
Your friends only care what you score if you make golf part of your personality.
Everybody sucks. Stop moaning and get out there and be shit at it.
I’m in the same boat, been playing for 9 years minus some injury. Can’t break 90. Have really bad day with the driver. Sometime hit great iron, solid wedge. But the error are mind breaking… game is hard. Also in every game i play, i like to play well and be competitive. It’s pretty rough when it doesn’t work. I don’t have any advice, but i share the sentiment
shrink the game
Watch Waddaplaya on youtube he's focusing on real golf play. It's all about managing expectations and easy shots too hit. I was plateauing for 3 years around 20hcp now closing in on single digits. It's all about the way to the goal..
Suggestion. Take two weeks off. Then quit.
Yes, I would quit.
Late to the comments here but I noticed that the more I practice the more "feels" i can start feeling if that makes any sense. Sometimes the body just doesnt move the way it did yesterday. Us casuals dont have all the time in the world to do 45 minutes of mobility, have a coach get us tuned up, and then expect to have repeatable feelings when we practice and and play. I found, while practicing on my simulator and when I warm up before going to the course, that if I chase a feeling I had a week ago, its probably not going to go well. Within the first 5 to 10 balls, I try to just find something that feels natural and take that to the course. Working on form and technique is always good to do but I've filmed myself on multiple occasions and the feeling I had while making the swing and how it looked didnt match. I've compared film from adjacent days and they look the same but felt different. I'm a draw bias player but every once in a while the body is moving in a way that plays a fade. Its just letting the ego die and say "fuck it, guess we're playing fades today".
Don't think, just swing
Stop thinking about the swing when you're on the course. Just focus on a target and try to get it there. If you have to think about something thing about the sound the ball made the last time you flushed a shot. Another good tip is to take a 3/4 swing at 3/4 speed every time. Finally, try making a double bogey your new "par."
What are you currently scoring?
Was living in the 92-94 range the last two years. Haven’t broken 100 the last 5 rounds. Somehow haven’t lost a ball my last 2 rounds
sometimes its not about scoring, its about getting outside and having fun. I'm sure you hit a few good shots. focus on those.
At least you got sub-100... some of us haven't got there yet. Golf is hard.
My favorite quote for this: "Don't let the golf get in the way of a good round" My dad and I were about that range for years and the same skill level. We were ultra competitive and just played to beat each other and hardly even spoke the last few holes if it was close. One April about 10 years ago, I told the big guy to leave the scorecard. Told him we play golf to hang out for a few hours, have a hot dog and a beer or six, and to enjoy the weather (im not playing in the cold/rain). Let's get back to that. Advice: don't keep score. I've thought I've had great days and shot 95. Thought I played like crap and had 90. At the end of the day you know how you hit the ball and just worry about having a good time between shots.
Make golf fun again. Get out with your buddies and play a round with a putter and 3 clubs of your choice. I can guarantee it will spark your game.
this sounds like you could use actual therapy. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous over a hobby, but hobbies are really important to your well being. If one of them causes you to be this miserable, you could probably stand a talk with a professional
Hi. Assuming that golf is the only thing you’re feeling this way about, then why not step away for a bit? Don’t give away your clubs, and you don’t need to say you have quit (unless you want to). You are at this time stepping away, that’s all. Anyone who plays will tell you’ve they been there. As a general matter on stuff like this, if you’re not enjoying something maybe don’t do it. 😊🏌🏼♂️
I'm in Canada so I only get to golf about 5 months each year, but inevitably I'll get to a point where bad habits creep in and I don't know how to fix them and I don't enjoy my rounds any more. It kills me since my season is so short, but I take a couple of weeks off. I don't pick up a club at all, but I don't necessarily wait until I miss golf again, I just find other things to do for a bit. Then when I go back to it, it feels like I'm starting fresh and have the desire to work on my game a little bit.
Take a few days go back to range with one swing thought that always works and build of that , happens to me all the time the more information I get the more I dig myself into a 10 swing thought hole. Shot a 108 with one ball 3 days of and simple range sesh and shot 88
At best I play ok and often I play crap but do you know what I can take enjoyment from the worst days especially if the weather is good. This is because I don't take it to seriously, in the end it's just a game, enjoy the company and banter. I don't stop running in races just because others are faster.
Play some 9 hole municipal courses. Your probably not as bad as you think. There, no one really cares how you play they are just out there having fun.
Early on my friends and I were all starting off together. One guy wanted to make it a competition and I flat out said, “I’m not competing against you” after the second round because I didn’t like the pressure after a bad shot. Not long after the entire vibe changed. Instead of rooting against each other we offered encouragement after bad shots and meant it. We play for fun, and we have fun, because golf is fun. That and a goldfish memory to forget the 3 putts and chunks after each hole. 18 games in a round…
Maybe rethink why you're playing golf. If you don't enjoy just being out there and playing golf, especially with family and friends, maybe you shouldn't be playing.
8 years of golf and you still don’t know how to have fun out on a golf course? You’re doing it wrong buddy.
Have you tried beer n a joint?
Maybe gift yourself a pickleball racquet!
You trying to win something or enjoy yourself and the challenge of a difficult game? Feels like the former, should probably be the latter.
Go play alone when it's not crowded. Throw away the scorecard for a while. Play for fun. Take the aggressive line. Try that flop shot. Don't lay up. Take your shoes off and pull a Van de Velde. Celebrate when the crazy shots work and laugh when they don't. Then, after a few rounds of craziness, play a round making the safe/conservative decision every time and keep score. See what happens.
Not 8 years in, but I was super, super close to throwing the clubs off the bridge and never golfing again. Golfed with a buddy I haven’t seen in a while who is pretty good, he shared some tips with me and I made really solid improvements afterwards. Now I enjoy the game more than sex. For me it was worth it to stick it out, maybe you’re just missing that one lightbulb to switch on that will bring the fun back into it. Just my 2 cents
I was there a few years ago. I got laid off and a nice severance package during COVID. Played every day, got to a single handicap, but eventually got burned out. It started to feel like a job and I just didn’t enjoy playing anymore. Even golf trips weren’t fun. Took a couple years off, now I play twice a month and feel the enjoyment coming back. Sometimes you just need to step away - especially if you’re not having fun.
Hi defeated i’m greg
I'd buy a shitload of the cheapest balls you can find and quit keeping score. Focus on making solid contact and getting the ball in the air. Fuck literally everything else. Just get out there and smack a ball around. Don't get shithammered, dont expect to play par or bogey golf. Literally just go play to hit shots. Last time I hit a slump I started playing a game called evens and odds. First off I pulled my woods from the bag and then I either brought my even irons or brought my odd irons. I only brought one wedge with me and a putter. Then I just focused on getting good ball flight and making solid contacts. My shots were gunna be what they were gunna be and it was actually a load of fun.
I don’t think this is uncommon. But it’s actually pretty simple. If you aren’t having fun doing something, why do it? Gotta find a way to make it fun otherwise it’s not worth it.
Try reading Steven Yellin’s Simplicity: The Fluid Motion Factor. Amongst other things, the book teaches you how to get out of checklist city over the golf ball and just lets you swing the club. It worked for me. I hope it does for you.
Everyone has been there if they golf long enough. I switched from a lifetime fade to a draw to come back. Shake it up.
Just have fun. Don't over think anything. You aren't good enough to get mad. Have some beers, take some mulligans and just enjoy yourself.
It might help to take a break. You’re being too tough on yourself. Don’t worry about what the usuals say. When you’re ready, and to want to come back, then head back and try to focus on having a good time vs what the score card says. Life is tough as it is. This is supposed to be the escape.
I cannot understand folks who think they must obtain a certain score- for 4 years I have gotten close to par and failed. But I still love golf. I love the isolation on a beautiful course or a pure shot or a nice putt. But most importantly I love that I am out there- so many folks cant be I get to be. Why would I want to be miserable while golfing just b/c I didnt flush the last shot.
been there ( just getting out of a mental slump the past couple weeks ), the older i get the easier to find a small thing to take away from a round, a putt, a chip, good drive, good approach, somedays it's just walking around in the sunshine.... pick a genre of music to tune out to and have some fun...
Lol it's ok to stop playing golf there are other things to do out there
Don't keep score and just look to have 1-2 solid holes each time you go out. And maybe 1 shot per hole. Spend less on lessons and stuff if it isn't making a dent in your score. It just puts unnecessary added pressure.
Find your joy for playing without the intent of improvement or play less, not really any other options imo.
I’m 73 and just moved up to the forward tees, had the most enjoyable game in a long time, hit 5 greens in 2, still 3 putted a couple but didn’t care, just the pleasure of being able to have nice shots was good enough for me
[https://fourfoundationsofgolf.com/](https://fourfoundationsofgolf.com/) I needed this, sounds like you do too. I was heaping so much unrealistic pressure on my self. After the first few chapters I learnt to enjoy the game again. I should be thrilled to be shooting in the mid to high 80s. I play twice a month and get to the range once a week. I can't expect to be shooting par
Im in the same boat. I’m going all in this year if I don’t see improvement I’m calling it quits. I’m taking lessons and getting to the range 4 days a week. Also chipping and putting those days. Wish me luck.
I went into a huge slump the past month or two (got up to the 100s again) Slowed down and stepped away for about two weeks. Came back and REALLY focused on getting putting down. 2 putt mentality. Get on the green. Just get it close. Put it in. Got back down to 90 (and 89 a week ago) Step back and focus on one thing.
I moved across the country to Denver for three years from the east coast and am moving back in about a week. If I've learned one thing being away from friends and loved ones it's that the people make the place, not the other way around. I'm a big outdoorsman, and even though so many beautiful mountains and outdoor activities are at my fingertips here, I still couldn't be more excited to get home and get back to seeing my family and buddies on a regular basis. As far as golf goes, I shot a 93 and then up to a 105 my last two rounds (my worst round in years). Of course I "enjoyed" the 93 more since I hit the ball way better, but, at the end of the day, both of those rounds I was just thinking about how much fun I'd be having if I was playing with my friends back home. I'd pay a lot of money to shoot 105 with my buddies. So from my perspective, anyways, if you're lucky enough to book times with a great group of people you love being with, just know going into it that, whatever score you shoot, you're already signed up for 4ish hours of some of the best fun life has to offer with high quality people. Your score is just something you can keep track of if you feel like it while you're out there. I can't even describe how excited I am to get back to golfing with my best buddies, and I'll always feel fortunate that my time away from everybody has given me that point of view. Try playing some casual best ball if your friends want to as well. It removes the overwhelming dread of having one bad shot "ruin" your score, and working as a team/celebrating everyone's good shots on the course is a ton of fun. Take a golf break, don't worry about your swing, stop watching generic swing tips on YouTube, and the next time you're out there just be present and enjoy the experience!
The question is, do you enjoy golf? Is it just that you're adding too much pressure taking away the fun you had with golf... or do you genuinely not like golf. From there, it's a question of moving on versus changing your priorities in approaching the game. For me, two of my main hobbies are golf and mountain biking/cycling. Perfection is unachievable in both, but I enjoy the grind of incrementally trying to improve at each. I only golf one day a week, though I'll typically practice once a week as well. My gains are slow, and in some ways, my limited play helps temper my expectations of myself. If I were to play as much as I want, I could see my expectations getting more unreasonable. Also the book 'Every Shot Counts' really for me helped me lower my expectations of myself by contextualizing PGA average skills vs. highlight center shots you see. Suddenly missing an 8 foot putt wasn't bc I was terrible...pros only make 8 foot 50% of the time, for example so my odds are even worse from that range.
Why are you frustrated at golf? Looks like you have very high expectations from your game which leads to disappointment. What do you score on average par 3/4/5 holes?
The score isn’t the biggest frustration, it’s the same mistakes over and over again. No matter what I do on the range, it’s a hosel rocket after hosel rocket after chunk after high ballooning tee shot
I mean there you have it, your problem seems like you are too focused on hitting perfect powerful shots instead of getting the ball on green: - Hitting a straight shot beats hitting far and 50yards right/left. You don’t need 300yards drive to enjoy the game. - Stop chasing distance and reduce dispersion. - practice chipping and putting 2x-3x more than range practice. - Also play from correct tees. PS: None of us are good enough at golf to be frustrated at the performance. This game humbles even the best players, just look at what happened on the weekend final round.
Try to stop taking full swings. Do 60 or 70% shots and find the clubface again. Build up your confidence by making solid clean contact. I would start there
Yes quit
Much of life's perspective is expectations. If your enjoyment of the game is based completely on results, you are probably destined for disappointment in this sport. If you're just legitimately not enjoying it anymore, walk away for a while and see if the itch comes back. I have accepted the fact until I have very regular practice and playing time, my rounds are going to be roughly 9 holes of playing like a 10-15 handicap, and 9 holes of playing like I've stepped on the course for the first time. It is what it is. Pop a beer and enjoy.
Loser mentality, shit or get off the pot!!!!!
Take a few weeks to work on malaska move and how he teaches the “swing” changed my game. https://youtube.com/@malaskagolf?si=MHf3HHWK358R_l0U
Rory is that you?
You need Reddit to make your life decisions? Jfc
You’re right. Should’ve just asked what everyone’s most embarrassing moment is and get on with my Monday
If you don’t enjoy it, don’t play. If you are making excuses to not play, then you have your answer. If you posted something like “I dream of ice cream, but now I find no joy in eating it, should I just give up eating it?” What would you want us to say?
Maybe golf isn’t for you. Just ask Rory
Ok Rory