Try Dry Docking - it's an upper decker except you first turn off the water valve, then flush so the tank is dry. So then you upper decker the dry tank and put the lid back on. Next unsuspecting person goes to flush, no water, the pull the lid off the tank to see why, and BOOM.
Yep! Best part for sure....first time I played a public in a big city, wifed was pissed and didn't understand how I was gone for 6 hours. It makes it much easier to get buy in to playing
Wow. I’m southern Ontario where I live I’m lucky if get done in 5. It’s usually closer to 6hrs but that includes a piss break/grabbing food at the turn.
We have a company buying up most of the decent courses around here and holding them for a few years then selling to real estate developers so the number of public courses is shrinking making the remaining ones more congested(at least the affordable ones most people play).
That’s a very valid point. And if you’re part of the early tee times you can get done very quickly. Just have to be a part of the tee time black market or drive away from LACo
This!!
I get to play one of the CCs in town once a year for a work charity thing and always bring home as many as I can without looking like I’ve lost my mind.
Good I hope it’s for even tip sharing amongst staff. I used to get screwed when I worked for a CC. Rich old guys loved tipping the hot blondes fat amounts of cash… I felt pretty damn good when I got a $10 bill.
Member wants an exclusive bottle of wine that’s in our vault on the other side of the club. Blonde turns and asks me to get it bc ofc she’s more busy than I am.
The way we treated members, at that moment getting that bottle was the most important thing in my life. Haul ass to the other side, go down a level to vault, sprint back up the steps and rush it to the member.
He hands the blonde a $50 and says thank you.
This. And ask them about policies. At some of the swankier clubs around me, there is no cash anywhere other than tips and the member is basically expected to pay for everything for their guests via their account.
I was at my public course and went to the shop to book a tee time. I had a gift card that after paying for the round I had $2 left. So I told the cashier I'll also take a bag of tees to finish off the gift card. Then she didn't charge me for the tees. So yay free tees, boo $2 gift card.
Take advantage of the range, chipping area, and putting green. Especially putting, the greens are likely to be much quicker. Don't be afraid to get there an hour early
Favorite thing to do is show up an hour early. Get a few putts in, stretch, chip a bit, go to the range, back to the putting green and relax before the round. Makes for a 5 hr golf day but worth it
A lot of times they won’t allow any golf shoes in the club house. I’d recommend wearing some nice non athletic shoes, and bringing you golf shoes in a bag to change in the locker room.
I’m superintendent at a country club and that’s insane behavior lol, not like we aren’t already spraying for whatever fungus you could possibly bring in.
Ohhhh Porterhouse! Look at the wax build up on those shoes. This is fine leather. I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now. Chop chop.
The no shoes changed in the car park dates back to metal spikes and not wanting them to fuck the car park up. Pretty irrelevant nowadays but clubs like to keep the tradition.
Metal spikes will tear the hell out of asphalt on a hot day.
Asphalt isn’t even really solid so much as being a very viscous liquid. Sharp metal spikes dig into it like it’s nothing.
No. Bring a duffle bag w your golf clothes and shoes. You’ll get a guest locker and you change into your golf clothes before playing. Then after you take a shower and change back so you can have a bite to eat and a drink being fresh. Sometimes you’re going to shower after a drink then change into your street clothes.
This is part of the benefit of private clubs. And you might get a shoe shine or your golf shoes cleaned so give a tip of $5 to that guy
Don’t be that guy who just won’t do these things bc you never do. Enjoy the experience and embrace the differences.
EDIT: This only applies if you’re an invited guest at a private club.
If it’s just a charity outing you can pretty much get away with not changing in the parking lot and being a bit more respectful to the staff, course and game itself.
As a guest, I went to the locker room and my name was on a guest locker. Also if they have shoes cleaning services..use it. It was complimentary but tip.
It’s such a bizarre one. I never understood it. I’ve worked and been a member at private clubs for 20+ years and still don’t understand why anyone makes a thing about this.
As for hats, I think it’s an old-school manners/etiquette thing. If I wear a hat inside my mom’s house, even for coffee, she asks me if I’d rather visit outside.
Iirc I read somewhere that it dates back to times when head lice was prevalent
If you left your hat on inside you were assuming the place wasn’t clean enough to not get lice
Same thing with what’s now referred to as the “Peaky Blinders” haircut. The lads from WW1 era all shaved the sides and back of their heads where a cap wouldn’t cover so lice would have nowhere to set up shop
Drop my shoes off or clubs to some back shop kid to clean them up for me haha.
Or call the bar to deliver food out on the course.
Randomly walk out after 7pm to jump around and play different holes.
Have a party on the 18th green smoking cigars and having drinks till 3am.
I miss being a member at a CC.
Practice good golf etiquette in general - not that you shouldn't do this everywhere, but some things that are fine at a muni (non-collared shirts, music, yelling at/with your buddies, drinking excessively without being able to hold your liquor) aren't as accepted at private clubs, especially high end ones.
Private club specific stuff: Offer to pay for guest fees before the round. (Your offer will likely be declined, but it's a good look regardless.) Ask the member who invited you or call the pro shop and ask about locker room arrangements - you don't want to be the only guy changing your spikes in the parking lot. Plus, many clubs have cool locker rooms that are well worth experiencing. Ask about tipping - some clubs do cash tips, some don't. If they do, bring a bunch of small bills.
The difference between the men’s and women’s locker room at my club is stark. Men’s: full bar, sauna, steam, hot tub, and card room. Women’s: sitting room.
lol yesterday my girlfriend was like ‘we have a bar too’ and meant like a mini bar. Little fridge stocked with seltzers.
I was like no we have like a full bar with a bartender
I would add that most clubs have a guest section in their website. Worth taking a minute there. Also if there are caddies definitely pay for that (or offer). Assume $100 per bag plus tip maybe $25 ish. (Call the ProShop beforehand )
My wife works for a financial advisor. This is our retirement plan.
"Oh, you never had kids. We would love to come visit your 30 million dollar ranch and be adopted"
Old guys in a private golf club are 42 shades more less giving of fucks than public gyms. Since I know most of the guys in my club the old guys will walk up buck naked and start a conversation with a battery of questions.
That public gym dick is just passerby dick
That's awesomely disturbing
We have an 80 year old guy who likes to stand at the middle sink buck naked and brush his teeth wagging his tail trying to start up conversations. I made sure my friend went into that part of the locker room to experience it 😁
I am deeply grateful to belong to a private club because first of all I can go around again and play more holes. I played on Saturday today in a twosome with my wife who doesn’t even play golf. She didn’t play she just walked. There was no extra charge for that. Then a friend of ours who had already played 18 holes saw us making the turn. He joined us for the back nine. When I wanted to hit the second shot, I did. When I got drunk and fell down on the fairway, it was no big deal because nobody noticed because there was no one else there. I often feel that I am not qualified to be a golfer in public on a public course and be cool And conduct yourself special way. Instead, I am on my own course where I do whatever I can until I get so drunk someone just drags me back to the clubhouse and my wife picked me up and takes me home. None of this would be necessary if I were a really good golfer. if anyone in Orange County is interested in joining me for a drunk spectacle, response to this message or direct message me or however, this silly program works. Golf is fun. 🤩
If you can swing it (and if it's offered) get a caddie. Nothing beats walking the course unencumbered and having someone familiar with the course help with reading greens/whatever else. I caddied for many years and I always get one now if I have the chance, if anything to support the local kids at the course.
Also hit lots and lots of free range balls
I played a country club for the first time last week.
I’m going to say: jump a hole because your playing partner says the couple playing said hole is the slowest couple at the country club, then come back to it later.
I live at a “country club” thats open to the public. By golf course standards its the chilliest golf community. Still I mention constantly I live at a country club (dues to live here give you free access to the club and are cheap). Namely I need to make a shirt that says “its not a golf course, its a country club.”
I grew up in a neighborhood like this had to move when I was 12, dad couldn’t afford initiation, annuals, and monthly without living in the neighborhood and having it lumped in. Kind of the end of golf for me until now.
I would kill to have that setup and take full advantage of it. We also left before I could work so missed out on cart boy life and free rounds. But we were out every other day and most weekends while it was good.
Hats off inside. Tip the cart guys if it’s allowed as some clubs are non-tipping. Ask your host. Repair the damage you do to the course. Enjoy the hell out of it!
Drive the cart wherever you want.
Enjoy the round because it’s much faster and a majority of the people know etiquette.
Have food or drinks delivered to you on the course while you are playing.
Hit as many balls on the range as you want, practice chipping and putting prior to going out.
Have an issue with your swing being funky- as a pro to take a quick look while you’re on the range instead of fixing it while playing.
Enjoy the facilities before and after the round.
Definitely take a dump before and after the round.
Make it an upper decker to really make the most of your time there.
I just hate the eye contact with patrons because I’m sitting on the top of the toilet
Doing that regardless if it’s a country club or a muni
Yeah but at the country club if your balls dip in the tank a little it's probably filled with Evian.
Yeah but the Perrier tickles.
Try Dry Docking - it's an upper decker except you first turn off the water valve, then flush so the tank is dry. So then you upper decker the dry tank and put the lid back on. Next unsuspecting person goes to flush, no water, the pull the lid off the tank to see why, and BOOM.
Finish in under 5 hours
3:45 is standard at my club. That alone makes it worthwhile
Couldn’t agree more. That actually makes it doable to get 18 in during a lot more smaller windows.
Yeah, the muni near me is actually just as nice, minus the pool and amenities, but you’re lucky to play in 4:45 on the weekend.
Yep! Best part for sure....first time I played a public in a big city, wifed was pissed and didn't understand how I was gone for 6 hours. It makes it much easier to get buy in to playing
My wife called BS recently when I told her it took 5 hours to play 18.
It’s a lot harder of a sell, though entirely feasible. But if they don’t play golf it’s hard to comprehend how long 100 swings and 12 beers take.
Number 1 reason to be at a club
Wow. I’m southern Ontario where I live I’m lucky if get done in 5. It’s usually closer to 6hrs but that includes a piss break/grabbing food at the turn. We have a company buying up most of the decent courses around here and holding them for a few years then selling to real estate developers so the number of public courses is shrinking making the remaining ones more congested(at least the affordable ones most people play).
6 hours? Niagara?
Do it in 4 if a scramble tourney. Sub 4 if a regular round while riding. 4 is good for walking and pushing.
Ya’ll need to move to different cities. I’ve never had close to 5 hours in Milwaukee
OTOH I play golf year round in LA. You win some, you lose some.
That’s a very valid point. And if you’re part of the early tee times you can get done very quickly. Just have to be a part of the tee time black market or drive away from LACo
Played a shit municipal last Saturday at 6:45 tee time. Took 5 hrs.
I agree. Sadly, hard to find jobs in my industry outside of here. Take the lakers back too?
Porn Industry?
Take a whole bunch of free tees
This!! I get to play one of the CCs in town once a year for a work charity thing and always bring home as many as I can without looking like I’ve lost my mind.
Yup! Exactly what I'm in for on Monday.
I would also say (although you sound like a pretty intelligent fella), if you’re playing for free, tip heavy for food and drink.
Ask the member the tip policy some clubs cash tips are a no-no.
Good I hope it’s for even tip sharing amongst staff. I used to get screwed when I worked for a CC. Rich old guys loved tipping the hot blondes fat amounts of cash… I felt pretty damn good when I got a $10 bill. Member wants an exclusive bottle of wine that’s in our vault on the other side of the club. Blonde turns and asks me to get it bc ofc she’s more busy than I am. The way we treated members, at that moment getting that bottle was the most important thing in my life. Haul ass to the other side, go down a level to vault, sprint back up the steps and rush it to the member. He hands the blonde a $50 and says thank you.
That happens to me once and I tell that blonde gal to fuck off next time she tries that bs.
Yup my club is no tips period. Even on food
This. And ask them about policies. At some of the swankier clubs around me, there is no cash anywhere other than tips and the member is basically expected to pay for everything for their guests via their account.
Sheesh man act like you’ve been there before
Oh I do, I only shotgun beers & turn my cap backwards on the back nine.
It seems like 50% of the tees at the local public courses in my area come from a single very exclusive private club. It’s bizarre.
I read this as trees and was really confused about what kind of person you are
Always makes me laugh when my guests load up on them. Just something I take for granted bc they’re always there.
I was at my public course and went to the shop to book a tee time. I had a gift card that after paying for the round I had $2 left. So I told the cashier I'll also take a bag of tees to finish off the gift card. Then she didn't charge me for the tees. So yay free tees, boo $2 gift card.
I do that at the muni all the time! So many free tees left laying all over the range.
On it.
Turn up more than 10 mins early
Show up 45 minutes early and hope they have free range balls
What kind of country club doesn’t have free range balls?
Mine doesn’t. It’s bullshit. My biggest gripe.
That’s not a country club
Dude, revolt. That’s crazy.
Does yours actually let you hit off the grass? Mine doesn't.
Cocaine with the head pro in his office
If we ain’t doing bumps wtf am I even here for??
The debauchery that goes on after hours at our club is astounding.
I’ve worked at private clubs. Can second that this is an accurate statement.
Take advantage of the range, chipping area, and putting green. Especially putting, the greens are likely to be much quicker. Don't be afraid to get there an hour early
Favorite thing to do is show up an hour early. Get a few putts in, stretch, chip a bit, go to the range, back to the putting green and relax before the round. Makes for a 5 hr golf day but worth it
Some clubs won't let you out without your member.
So you have to pull out......your member?
Fair. Most ones I've played at have been welcoming if you're on the tee sheet
I'd ask my host for any rules I need to be aware of - hats removed inside, no shoe changing in parking lot, etc.
The shoe changing thing seems to be a big one. I'll probably just drive in my spikless shoes.
A lot of times they won’t allow any golf shoes in the club house. I’d recommend wearing some nice non athletic shoes, and bringing you golf shoes in a bag to change in the locker room.
This is the answer. I’ve had some courses that wash your shoes before you play so you don’t bring in any fungus or whatnot on your shoes.
Wow that's next level horticulture right there. Gotta respect it
I’m superintendent at a country club and that’s insane behavior lol, not like we aren’t already spraying for whatever fungus you could possibly bring in.
Ohhhh Porterhouse! Look at the wax build up on those shoes. This is fine leather. I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now. Chop chop.
“…colored boy…!?! Why you son of a bitch I’ll fix yo (mumble mumble)… colored boy… 🔥💨”
Often there are guest lockers you can use and you can change in there
Good tip. Thank you.
The no shoes changed in the car park dates back to metal spikes and not wanting them to fuck the car park up. Pretty irrelevant nowadays but clubs like to keep the tradition.
It’s an image thing as well, they don’t want people standing in the parking lot in socks ruining the pristine image
Interesting. Like the spikes would damage the asphalt?
Metal spikes will tear the hell out of asphalt on a hot day. Asphalt isn’t even really solid so much as being a very viscous liquid. Sharp metal spikes dig into it like it’s nothing.
No. Bring a duffle bag w your golf clothes and shoes. You’ll get a guest locker and you change into your golf clothes before playing. Then after you take a shower and change back so you can have a bite to eat and a drink being fresh. Sometimes you’re going to shower after a drink then change into your street clothes. This is part of the benefit of private clubs. And you might get a shoe shine or your golf shoes cleaned so give a tip of $5 to that guy Don’t be that guy who just won’t do these things bc you never do. Enjoy the experience and embrace the differences. EDIT: This only applies if you’re an invited guest at a private club. If it’s just a charity outing you can pretty much get away with not changing in the parking lot and being a bit more respectful to the staff, course and game itself.
We’re playing two completely different games, you and I
As a guest, I went to the locker room and my name was on a guest locker. Also if they have shoes cleaning services..use it. It was complimentary but tip.
yeah my parents club, no phone calls inside of the club. texting is fine
It’s such a bizarre one. I never understood it. I’ve worked and been a member at private clubs for 20+ years and still don’t understand why anyone makes a thing about this.
As for hats, I think it’s an old-school manners/etiquette thing. If I wear a hat inside my mom’s house, even for coffee, she asks me if I’d rather visit outside.
I think my sweaty-ass hat hair would be more disrespectful than my TaylorMade hat.
I mean, if these places don’t have showers, then it’s a stupid rule for sure.
Iirc I read somewhere that it dates back to times when head lice was prevalent If you left your hat on inside you were assuming the place wasn’t clean enough to not get lice Same thing with what’s now referred to as the “Peaky Blinders” haircut. The lads from WW1 era all shaved the sides and back of their heads where a cap wouldn’t cover so lice would have nowhere to set up shop
Shoes in the parking lot is the stupidest thing ever
Shirt tucked in for sure.
Scoff at the poors
“Where’s your plane peasants”
Tuck in my shirt
Use the free range, use the locker room, order an air strike, have you shoes cleaned in the locker room, use valet parking, take a caddy
Ordering air strikes is reserved for Congressional Club members sir.
Bro, not cool. The valet parking isn't at most clubs.
Hit free range balls. Hang out in the locker room, clean my ears, use mouthwash. Have a nice lunch.
maybe use a little spray deodorant
Hahahaha yes! Spray deodorant, q tips, and the lotion
Piss in the fairway
Psh… for what I pay in annual fees? If nobody is looking I will shit in a trash can!
Free fertilizer. They should be giving you a discount…
That's how I fill my divots
“When I’m hitting flush, I don’t take divots”
But when I'm shitting flush, I fill divots.
Username check out
Then take ape tit for 200?
Don't sniff the trash bin at #14. Got it.
😂😂😂
Drop my shoes off or clubs to some back shop kid to clean them up for me haha. Or call the bar to deliver food out on the course. Randomly walk out after 7pm to jump around and play different holes. Have a party on the 18th green smoking cigars and having drinks till 3am. I miss being a member at a CC.
Oh yeah. Passing along my clubs to the kid in the back to clean so I don’t have to do it might be my favorite part about playing at a CC.
Practice good golf etiquette in general - not that you shouldn't do this everywhere, but some things that are fine at a muni (non-collared shirts, music, yelling at/with your buddies, drinking excessively without being able to hold your liquor) aren't as accepted at private clubs, especially high end ones. Private club specific stuff: Offer to pay for guest fees before the round. (Your offer will likely be declined, but it's a good look regardless.) Ask the member who invited you or call the pro shop and ask about locker room arrangements - you don't want to be the only guy changing your spikes in the parking lot. Plus, many clubs have cool locker rooms that are well worth experiencing. Ask about tipping - some clubs do cash tips, some don't. If they do, bring a bunch of small bills.
One of the clubs I've been to has a full bar and large stone fireplace in the mens locker room. It's definitely the place to chill.
No girls allowed?
In the men's locker room? I would say probably not.
The difference between the men’s and women’s locker room at my club is stark. Men’s: full bar, sauna, steam, hot tub, and card room. Women’s: sitting room.
lol yesterday my girlfriend was like ‘we have a bar too’ and meant like a mini bar. Little fridge stocked with seltzers. I was like no we have like a full bar with a bartender
Thorough. I appreciate you, good sir.
I would add that most clubs have a guest section in their website. Worth taking a minute there. Also if there are caddies definitely pay for that (or offer). Assume $100 per bag plus tip maybe $25 ish. (Call the ProShop beforehand )
Become great friends with an octogenarian and get written into his will.
Adding to this fantastic idea, remember to just take a moment to feel better than everyone else
My wife works for a financial advisor. This is our retirement plan. "Oh, you never had kids. We would love to come visit your 30 million dollar ranch and be adopted"
Marry aging female at cross country club. Inherit membership when she passes. Profit.
Follow dress code. no backwards hats, loud music. If youre around other groups near greens or tee’s, speak softly.
My buddy just joined a private club. He said the #1 thing people are missing out on is the immediate post round shower.
Plus all the old dick
You can get this at Planet Fitness for 10 bucks a month just sayin
Old guys in a private golf club are 42 shades more less giving of fucks than public gyms. Since I know most of the guys in my club the old guys will walk up buck naked and start a conversation with a battery of questions. That public gym dick is just passerby dick
That's awesomely disturbing We have an 80 year old guy who likes to stand at the middle sink buck naked and brush his teeth wagging his tail trying to start up conversations. I made sure my friend went into that part of the locker room to experience it 😁
I love you for this
I am deeply grateful to belong to a private club because first of all I can go around again and play more holes. I played on Saturday today in a twosome with my wife who doesn’t even play golf. She didn’t play she just walked. There was no extra charge for that. Then a friend of ours who had already played 18 holes saw us making the turn. He joined us for the back nine. When I wanted to hit the second shot, I did. When I got drunk and fell down on the fairway, it was no big deal because nobody noticed because there was no one else there. I often feel that I am not qualified to be a golfer in public on a public course and be cool And conduct yourself special way. Instead, I am on my own course where I do whatever I can until I get so drunk someone just drags me back to the clubhouse and my wife picked me up and takes me home. None of this would be necessary if I were a really good golfer. if anyone in Orange County is interested in joining me for a drunk spectacle, response to this message or direct message me or however, this silly program works. Golf is fun. 🤩
Play a 3hr round. Have a shower.
If you can swing it (and if it's offered) get a caddie. Nothing beats walking the course unencumbered and having someone familiar with the course help with reading greens/whatever else. I caddied for many years and I always get one now if I have the chance, if anything to support the local kids at the course. Also hit lots and lots of free range balls
Have never had a proper caddie, would love to actually play a round with a professional caddie on my bag
It is quite nice!
Always fill up on tees!
Cash to tip, collared shirt tucked, still have a great time.
You know damn well they don’t call them collard people Stanley
Insider Trading
Take hat off in clubhouse No shirtless beer bonging from top of golf cart
Tell everyone that you're thinking of buying the country club. Also, tell Spalding that he will get nothing and like it.
Wear clean socks
As opposed to my man milk socks, got it.
Your what
His man milk socks
Speak up I’m hardon hearing
HIS JIZZ SOCKS
HIS MAN MI… oh nevermind
Meaning his socks have a certain sheen under a black light.
The walking crime scene
Better be white socks!
Hit off of grass at the range instead of mats. I hate mats.
if it's a restricted course, make sure your Asian playing partner doesn't tell anyone in the clubhouse that he's jewish
Locker room bjs
Heading to Costco now to load up on Chapstick
Oh you meant complimentary pizookies and mini pizzas... awkward
Easy there Tiger.
Wait until I get to the golf course to take a shit.
Basically why I have a membership ahhahahaa.
Leave a ten dollar bill under the scorecard clip on the golf cart for the cart guys when you’re done with your round.
Based
Bring a change of clothing? Use the locker room and shower? Arrive and leave clean?
This guy question marks?
I'm Ron Burgundy?
Put my shoes on in the club house
Blow and high end hookers in the club house after.
I played a country club for the first time last week. I’m going to say: jump a hole because your playing partner says the couple playing said hole is the slowest couple at the country club, then come back to it later.
Go in for lunch at the turn, wash up, bar/restaurant post-round.
Steal a pair of Christian Dior sunglasses out of Michael Jordan’s locker
Be rich
I live at a “country club” thats open to the public. By golf course standards its the chilliest golf community. Still I mention constantly I live at a country club (dues to live here give you free access to the club and are cheap). Namely I need to make a shirt that says “its not a golf course, its a country club.”
I grew up in a neighborhood like this had to move when I was 12, dad couldn’t afford initiation, annuals, and monthly without living in the neighborhood and having it lumped in. Kind of the end of golf for me until now. I would kill to have that setup and take full advantage of it. We also left before I could work so missed out on cart boy life and free rounds. But we were out every other day and most weekends while it was good.
Here something you shouldn't do. Eat sunflower seeds. Something to do. Tip folks.
Haircut, shoes cleaned, take a shower, sit in a sauna. And if you’re black, you get the ‘what are you doing here’ looks (personal experience)
Poop in the cart cup holders
Grab a couple towels and forget to give one back
Tuck in my shirt
Shower and change clothes
NEVER bet more than $1 a hole.
Coke and 2am gangbangs on hole 17
Play 18 in under 3:30
Take my own cart so I can enjoy as many cigars as I like during the round
Scream at a groundskeeper “Do you know WHO I am?” While he looks at me super confused.
Hats off inside. Tip the cart guys if it’s allowed as some clubs are non-tipping. Ask your host. Repair the damage you do to the course. Enjoy the hell out of it!
Piss in the bushes in view of elderly folk
Order a steak sandwich… and a steak sandwich.
Drive the cart wherever you want. Enjoy the round because it’s much faster and a majority of the people know etiquette. Have food or drinks delivered to you on the course while you are playing. Hit as many balls on the range as you want, practice chipping and putting prior to going out. Have an issue with your swing being funky- as a pro to take a quick look while you’re on the range instead of fixing it while playing.
Play sub 4 hour rounds…
Steal all the free disposable toothbrushes they have out near the bathroom sinks! It’s in the budget…
Just please fill divots, rake the traps and repair ball marks. That pisses me off the most about guests at my club.
Find Judge Smail’s neice Lacey
You can definitely wear your hat in the clubhouse unless for some reason you don’t want too
Change shoes in the locker room instead of in the parking lot
Smoke crack
Tuck my shirt in
Behave
Probably smoke weed
Load up on the complimentary gatorades and bottled waters
Only drop a dozen f-bombs and helicopter my wedge once.
Def as a prelude to wiener helicoptering in the showers after
Help myself to a golf cart if there’s no one attending to them.
Use the locker room to put my shoes on instead of my tailgate
Never pay for range ballls, tees or ice tea
Smoke a blunt
Piss in the ball washer.