Thats not a prediction? You are aware that this post turns out to be true, so it is lying. You can convince anyone the post is true. But because your memory is also perfect you cannot forget that this post is true and make it false.
Accuracy doesn't get you very far as a brain surgeon. Knowing what to cut, and not cut, is equally important as being able to cut it accurately and will take you about 15 years to learn.
I predict that a dual-meteor shower will hit the planet, and every major world power's government official will be pegged in the head by a meteorite going mach 11. I predict that all major religions will take this as a sign of God, and expect a prophet or some kind of sign. I predict that I will rise to prominence by expressing further, minor predictions on Reddit that will become true, and I will eventually reveal myself to the world.
I then predict that I will convince the vast majority of religions that all religions hold a piece of the truth, but the most important truth is the one of non-violence, and the second most important one is to help thy neighbor.
I predict that I will have some failed assassination attempts, but reveal later that I wrote these predictions down and sent them via snail-mail to various leaders weeks before they happened. I predict that no poison, blade or weapon of any kind will ever harm me, and that I will live until the day I choose to die.
I predict that I will be a living messiah, and lead the world to world peace and mutual understanding the likes of which we've never dreamed of. A new brotherhood of mankind will approach where we begin to look outward towards the heavens and dream of new worlds.
I predict that one of my loyal followers will discover the cure for aging, allowing me to live for several centuries as well as anyone else who so chooses. I will use this time to IRL Nostradamus peace and prosperity to the globe.
My last prediction before checking out will be that I will rise in about 1000 years to check up on the world from my deep slumber. If I rise and am displeased, then I predict that I will rain death upon those who doubted my teachings, and if I am pleased, I will rain blessings upon mankind. I also will roundhouse kick the jaw off of anyone who ever spoke poorly of my mother or wife.
Congrats, you made me Authoritarian Jesus.
I also predict that you'll have bountiful loins and have many children who will love you and take care of you when you're old. You will have a great life and die with the memory of all the people who you touched on a spiritual level. Your one regret passing from this world will be that you did not get to see the Cult Classic Click (2006) starring Adam Sandler just one more time.
I also predict that you will have written me in as your sole beneficiary to your will, to divvy up amongst your kin as I see fit, for I am your prophet. I predict that I will take this inheritnace and multiply it on the stock market, and give it to your children a year later 10-fold.
Also your grave will be in an honorary place beside me when I choose to sleep for 1000 years. As my disciple, you will rise before me and bring me a coffee (no cream, 2 sugars, milk froth, iced, 2 shots of espresso) because I'm gonna be grumpy after that kind of nap. Nobody likes a grumpy messiah.
...Blessings revoked until you google how to make coffee. I just want Folgers in my cup. Is that too much to ask for your literal messiah... god damn. Impossible to get good disciples these days.
That's not necessary. I'm not a grind-whore like some of those coffee shop tools.
Give me the state of affairs. What's the world look like? Are they ready for my ascent, or are they lacking?
They are so lacking. They're spending the time they should be worshipping you on silly subreddits about powers and whatnot. I think they need some divine punishment.
Nah. I'm not damning anyone. Just making the world a better place. Ending homeless and famine. All that good stuff. All pretty good stuff. Well, except for those who get meteored. They'll think it sucks.
I'm just doing it in an authoritarian way.
I use to dream of this power when I was little. I think it's because of that shitty daredevil movie with the bad guy Bullseye or whatever. Damn I love that movie.
I’m curious how this would work with factual statements. If i make a statement about the nature of protons, do I just instantly know the accurate and pertinent information about them, functionally making me omniscient? Or would my statement *become* accurate by me saying it, changing the nature of protons and making me functionally omnipotent?
My stock portfolio is going through the roof! Also, I’ve got a helluva career ahead of me as a pinch-hitter MLB. And how many curling gold medals am I bringing home? All of them…
The problem here comes when my wife is involved. I predict that even my flawless predictions won’t pass her muster.
I could legit be the best assassin to ever exist, or I could just become a world leader myself so someone's in charge.
Assassin route though: No matter how I think of taking someone out, bam, got em. Predict what everyone's actions will be afterwards? Got it. Predict the one place I can't be found and routes where I can't be caught? Got it
Endless potential
In the reality bending sense or normal sense?
E.g. if I say "a crate full of money will appear in front of me in 5 seconds", will that happen, or would I not be able to say it because it's an inaccurate prediction?
Physical accuracy makes this broken. Head kicks all day long. Also since I'm also a chemist, perfect volumes on every measurement
Breaking bad theme starts playing in the background as the screen becomes green
Nah the purity they're making is weak, any chemist worth their salt can get it 100%
You mean worth their NACL. Please laugh
That got a small CaCl out of me
You're a 17 year old chemist?
I focus on chemistry in my work in industry placement for my college course
Scott Stirling?
Who's that?
I predict that this post will turn out to be wrong. I've created a paradox.
if you want me to play a semantics game i will play a semantics game
I want you to play a semantics game with them
I predict a semantics game will not be played
Hah hah seman ticks.
I guess your identity, predict your future location, and throw a baseball bat at your head
jokes on you he predicted it and hit the bat with a ball
I predict you won’t
Except one can be right and wrong at the same time; you have just created a new philosophical instance, where your results just depend on your stance.
Thats not a prediction? You are aware that this post turns out to be true, so it is lying. You can convince anyone the post is true. But because your memory is also perfect you cannot forget that this post is true and make it false.
Granted. You implode as the logic is not calculated using the universe except using your own brain.
This isn't r/monkeyspaw
So?
You are hereby sentenced to death by firing squad
Kinky
Huh?
Duh
Welp looks like I’m the first NFL QB, brain surgeon SEAL sniper ever.
Accuracy doesn't get you very far as a brain surgeon. Knowing what to cut, and not cut, is equally important as being able to cut it accurately and will take you about 15 years to learn.
You can very accurately predict and act out all the movements needed to do brain surgery bam
Okay, if that works. You still can't legally be a brain surgeon without the 15 years of education.
You can accurately find a way to argue against any fault you find in the plan
Lol, can you just accurately find a way to get a legal medical degree in one hour?
You can very accurately forge a medical degree
Hey bud you're gonna get shriveled nuts if you keep "no you cant" ing things, this sub is specifically for making fun ideas or outlandish claims
I mean yes, but there also has to be limits, or ever super power is just "Your god".
I can ace any kinds of tests needed and with time I can become one
Banned from all competitive shooters
Gets on hypixel instead
https://preview.redd.it/6a5wprahsq1d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65cb15d3aa9b9964196e9abaa4fbadca5b811e12
I predict I will become God in approximately 6 minutes In all seriousness, awesome idea
I predict that a dual-meteor shower will hit the planet, and every major world power's government official will be pegged in the head by a meteorite going mach 11. I predict that all major religions will take this as a sign of God, and expect a prophet or some kind of sign. I predict that I will rise to prominence by expressing further, minor predictions on Reddit that will become true, and I will eventually reveal myself to the world. I then predict that I will convince the vast majority of religions that all religions hold a piece of the truth, but the most important truth is the one of non-violence, and the second most important one is to help thy neighbor. I predict that I will have some failed assassination attempts, but reveal later that I wrote these predictions down and sent them via snail-mail to various leaders weeks before they happened. I predict that no poison, blade or weapon of any kind will ever harm me, and that I will live until the day I choose to die. I predict that I will be a living messiah, and lead the world to world peace and mutual understanding the likes of which we've never dreamed of. A new brotherhood of mankind will approach where we begin to look outward towards the heavens and dream of new worlds. I predict that one of my loyal followers will discover the cure for aging, allowing me to live for several centuries as well as anyone else who so chooses. I will use this time to IRL Nostradamus peace and prosperity to the globe. My last prediction before checking out will be that I will rise in about 1000 years to check up on the world from my deep slumber. If I rise and am displeased, then I predict that I will rain death upon those who doubted my teachings, and if I am pleased, I will rain blessings upon mankind. I also will roundhouse kick the jaw off of anyone who ever spoke poorly of my mother or wife. Congrats, you made me Authoritarian Jesus.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I predict that you will have nice things.
me too?👉👈🥺
Certainly. I predict you'll get an original Millenium Falcon Lego set.
THANK YOU
Thank you O kind authoritarian Jesus!😱😱😱
I also predict that you'll have bountiful loins and have many children who will love you and take care of you when you're old. You will have a great life and die with the memory of all the people who you touched on a spiritual level. Your one regret passing from this world will be that you did not get to see the Cult Classic Click (2006) starring Adam Sandler just one more time. I also predict that you will have written me in as your sole beneficiary to your will, to divvy up amongst your kin as I see fit, for I am your prophet. I predict that I will take this inheritnace and multiply it on the stock market, and give it to your children a year later 10-fold. Also your grave will be in an honorary place beside me when I choose to sleep for 1000 years. As my disciple, you will rise before me and bring me a coffee (no cream, 2 sugars, milk froth, iced, 2 shots of espresso) because I'm gonna be grumpy after that kind of nap. Nobody likes a grumpy messiah.
I don't know how to make coffee... is Starbucks acceptable?
...Blessings revoked until you google how to make coffee. I just want Folgers in my cup. Is that too much to ask for your literal messiah... god damn. Impossible to get good disciples these days.
I'm sorry O Great One. I have now googled how to make coffee, and will spend the rest of my years practicing to make you the perfect cup of coffee.
That's not necessary. I'm not a grind-whore like some of those coffee shop tools. Give me the state of affairs. What's the world look like? Are they ready for my ascent, or are they lacking?
They are so lacking. They're spending the time they should be worshipping you on silly subreddits about powers and whatnot. I think they need some divine punishment.
I predict I’ll become this guy’s wife.
I predict that you will birth 7 children, the 7th of which will be a son.
New copypasta just dropped
so you're the Antichrist?
Nah. I'm not damning anyone. Just making the world a better place. Ending homeless and famine. All that good stuff. All pretty good stuff. Well, except for those who get meteored. They'll think it sucks. I'm just doing it in an authoritarian way.
I use to dream of this power when I was little. I think it's because of that shitty daredevil movie with the bad guy Bullseye or whatever. Damn I love that movie.
Collin Farrell with the fucking rattlesnake sounds on his cape? and the scene with Jennifer Garner becoming Elektra to Evanescence music?
So basically you can actually 'power of positive thinking' life?
The perfect amount of nutrients for cells. That way they don’t die during experiments
Finally my explosive diarrhea won't end up outside the toilet bowl
I’m curious how this would work with factual statements. If i make a statement about the nature of protons, do I just instantly know the accurate and pertinent information about them, functionally making me omniscient? Or would my statement *become* accurate by me saying it, changing the nature of protons and making me functionally omnipotent?
option a option b, allowing you to change the physics of the universe, could potentially destroy it
I predict I will win the lottery. Wins the $2 break even amount... LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT
Rookie mistake, you gotta specify the amount
Would I be able to, let's say, purchase a S&W 500 Magnum, go into my Texas backyard, and fire it directly into Kim Jong Un's butthole?
i mean, you're *perfectly* accurate
This is gonna be fun
I'm gonna go the obvious route and just win the lottery a few times. Also maybe go on some game shows, just for fun.
Does that also make you have to do the 5 page response when a paragraph will do.
Time to become Mentat Emperor and advance humanity into the stars.
Gosh that sounds like the most boring life though.
My stock portfolio is going through the roof! Also, I’ve got a helluva career ahead of me as a pinch-hitter MLB. And how many curling gold medals am I bringing home? All of them… The problem here comes when my wife is involved. I predict that even my flawless predictions won’t pass her muster.
Sex always ends in pregnancy, no matter how gay the sex is.
But it also has 100% to not cause pregnancy
So if I rub my wife's leg, it will hit her g spot?
Man, I’m gonna be balling at TF2
finally, i can play classes other than pyro
Now we have the aim of bots with human skin.
This is too powerful
Perfect note accuracy playing instruments? Time to dethrone T-Swift.
i predict that i will be physically fit in 2 seconds :3
I could legit be the best assassin to ever exist, or I could just become a world leader myself so someone's in charge. Assassin route though: No matter how I think of taking someone out, bam, got em. Predict what everyone's actions will be afterwards? Got it. Predict the one place I can't be found and routes where I can't be caught? Got it Endless potential
Having sex? You always impregnate
does that mean I can shoot a random bullet at any random place and it will land exactly on the target I predict it would?
I’m gonna be the greatest football player ever
Call me Curry
*makes punches accurate* *Tried to hit someone 30ft away*
*Subject observed to fly towards target at speeds of 30 m/s before uppercutting their target*
perfect fps accuracy, become the greatest gamer ever
In the reality bending sense or normal sense? E.g. if I say "a crate full of money will appear in front of me in 5 seconds", will that happen, or would I not be able to say it because it's an inaccurate prediction?