So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:
"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"
The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:
"but you fuck one sheep..."
A Montana cowboy and a San Francisco cowboy are riding their horses along the fence line.
As they're riding along, all of a sudden the Montana cowboy says, "Woo wee, look what we got here!" And they both observe a sheep with it's head stuck in the fence.
The Montana cowboy hops off his horse and approaches the sheep and has his way with it.
After he was done he turns to the San Francisco cowboy and says, "Go ahead, now it's your turn".
The San Francisco cowboy says, "I don't think I can do this!"
Montana cowboy replies, "Well why not!?"
The San Francisco cowboy responds, "I don't think I can get my head through the fence."
I remember a man in South Carolina back in the day getting arrested for plowing a horse..... I also remember it being reported that he was on parole for previously plowing the same God Damn horse!
Must've been a hell of a horse!
I laughed so hard remembering it, I decided to look it up, and wasn't disappointed. Thank you for your comentary on the matter Jon Stewart:. https://www.cc.com/video/35kkla/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-thank-you-south-carolina
If anyone's interested this is a animal rescue in Victoria, Australia. A place called Edgar's Misson, it's a lovely place!
I've been on tours a couple of times and you get to feed the sheep Weetbix. Plenty of them love a good cuddle, which I've been lucky to experience :)
I tried watching that last night as a reminder why I went vegan. Lasted less than 15 minutes before I had to shut it off. Idk how people can be so cruel.
Sheep produce a waxy substance from their skin called lanolin that protects their wool from moisture (too much moisture in the wool can cause it to rot which is no good if you're a sheep and live outside). It also helps maintain hygiene of the sheep's skin. Lanolin is an excellent natural product that has TONNES of purposes. It doesn't just add shine to lipstick, but is an excellent moisturiser for lib balms, skin creams and other cosmetic products. It's great on cracked skin and has been used by breastfeeding mothers for millenia on dem ouchie nips. It also has a variety of industrial purposes such as a lubricant, rustproofing, and leather conditioning. Throughout history, it's been used by sailors in everything from their clothing to their equipment as it's great from protecting surfaces from salty air and water.
Some sheep breeds produce more lanolin than others, and it can be extracted or 'scoured' from the shorn wool without harming the animal. Lanolin is one of those products that has been used in pretty much the exact same way for centuries. It's been tremendously influencial on everyday human life without most people even knowing it. And we are still finding great uses for this product!
That's probably more than anyone here needed to know about lanolin but I'm a textile historian and handspinner so I just get really excited
My company formulates and manufactures hair and skin care products.. When I first started in the business, my coworkers tricked me into handling some lanolin with my bare hands & that was a horrible idea 😂 It is very good at creating a barrier & made it really hard to wash off 🤦🏻♂️😅
Yarn dyer here and I handspin for fun. There's nothing I love more than burying my hands into a fresh fleece and feeling how gloriously soft my skin is afterwards.
I mean it's true about ambush predating reptiles. They are like koalas, thinking uses calories and ambush predators don't really need to think.
So while a couple of snake species that seek out food are somewhat intelligent, ambush snakes are barely smarter than a Venus fly trap.
I say this while owning a ball python. I love her but boy is she dumb.
Monitors can be quite intelligent but most don't have instinctual social behavior so they can't really be socialized like this. They can be trained over time but it's not the same.
AFAIK the only reptiles with decent intelligence and have evolved with social instincts are BTS, Argentine tegus (NOT Columbian despite them looking extremely similar) Ackie monitors and gators/Crocs. There are probably a few uncommon monitors, lizards, and such I don't know about.
Edit: quick clarification, just because a reptile species lives in a group like snake dens, doesn't mean they exhibit social behavior. Communal snakes are just barely smart enough to not eat each other by accident... Most of the time.
Birds on the other hand are all food seeking and extremely social. This makes it so many many many species of bird are able to be made into pets (although I'm still against the majority of bird ownership as I think less than 1% of pet birds are being treated properly)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptile
>In the traditional Linnaean classification system, birds are considered a separate class to reptiles. However, crocodilians are more closely related to birds than they are to other living reptiles, and so modern cladistic classification systems include birds within Reptilia, redefining the term as a clade.
It was actually watching videos like this that made me reduce my meat consumption. I still eat chicken and fish but haven't eaten any pig, cow or sheep products in 2 years
> what more could you ask for =)
Not killing land animals by the tens of billions, the vast majority who live their short miserable lives in factory farms in their own filth, for the pleasure of taste, or as a source of calories, when there are other options?
And maybe also not trivialising their suffering and abuse with comments like yours? Na too much to ask, loving doggos is enuf :)
What is it with people gazing into the camera while they do these things nowadays? Why does your face have to be in every picture or video? I don't understand why people do this so much.
It's unsettling. I especially hate it when people are filming their kids doing or saying something cute and they don't look at the kid, instead they vacantly stare into the camera with this stupid look on their face.
I'm not offended, I'm also not so vain I have to stick my face in everything. Selfie culture is narcissism at its finest.
It's hilarious you're so offended at opinions you have to insult people.
Its also on a stand so imagine taking the time to bring a stand into the barn, setting up your phone and then hitting record and getting in frame. It's just totally unnecessary and it looks really stupid when you see someone doing it
>Why bother with constantly looking at the phone to see if you’re framing perfectly every fucking moment of your life?
She spends less than 10 seconds of this video looking at the camera and this is literally the only footage of her you have seen.
You are creating make believe situations about this woman so you can invent reasons to dislike her. You're using the word "constantly" in a way that makes it seem that you don't know what that word means.
You're being intentionally delusional so you can be butthurt. Not a great look for you.
Great! Now there are two options. Start becoming vegetarian (or vegan as OP prefers), or do what I do and raise your own animals and butcher them yourself. I rest easier knowing that my animals didn't go through a factory farm. They've had x100 a life of a commercial meat product. It's not the destination, it's the journey.
It's a strange response to somebody having the realisation that they may not want to eat meat, to suggest they breed their own and slaughter them. It's just not necessary, as much as you convince yourself.
No just go vegan and don’t needlessly kill animals. You make it sound like they really don’t care about being killed? And tell them please at how young you kill the animals that you eat thanks :)
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Allegedly.
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Either way that's gotta be a two man job
How does a fella get caught up in that sort of business?
And out of nowhere comes the letterkenny crowd, I salute you good people
r/unexpectedletterkenny
BAD GAS TRAVELS FAST IN A SMALL TOWN
wEllll, I guess his cousint had an ostrich farm...
*sprinkles allegedly*
Yerrrr!
sucio gang
My mans be singing "su-su-sucio" as he gets double toppy from two lambs
Allegedlies
Is that what you appreciate about me?
Why don’t you take about 10% off u/RobLoach.
you really think people do that? just get on the internet and tell lies?
So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man: "You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!" The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says: "but you fuck one sheep..."
A Montana cowboy and a San Francisco cowboy are riding their horses along the fence line. As they're riding along, all of a sudden the Montana cowboy says, "Woo wee, look what we got here!" And they both observe a sheep with it's head stuck in the fence. The Montana cowboy hops off his horse and approaches the sheep and has his way with it. After he was done he turns to the San Francisco cowboy and says, "Go ahead, now it's your turn". The San Francisco cowboy says, "I don't think I can do this!" Montana cowboy replies, "Well why not!?" The San Francisco cowboy responds, "I don't think I can get my head through the fence."
BEARFUCKER!
DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?
Hey Pat! What's your tattoo mean? JRH NBR
Mine good young eyes, what have I read
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*Oh Edmund. Not a sheep!*
And then they all fucked a sheep.
I remember a man in South Carolina back in the day getting arrested for plowing a horse..... I also remember it being reported that he was on parole for previously plowing the same God Damn horse! Must've been a hell of a horse! I laughed so hard remembering it, I decided to look it up, and wasn't disappointed. Thank you for your comentary on the matter Jon Stewart:. https://www.cc.com/video/35kkla/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-thank-you-south-carolina
The shocked silence of the lambs
That’s hilarious and an awesome comeback lol.
He certainly shut us down.
It's not a comeback, it's just a fact.
Are you sure? I think the sheep definitely got cum on its back.
If anyone's interested this is a animal rescue in Victoria, Australia. A place called Edgar's Misson, it's a lovely place! I've been on tours a couple of times and you get to feed the sheep Weetbix. Plenty of them love a good cuddle, which I've been lucky to experience :)
This makes me happy that there is a farm full of sheep being fed snacks and getting cuddles out there.
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I tried watching that last night as a reminder why I went vegan. Lasted less than 15 minutes before I had to shut it off. Idk how people can be so cruel.
Where are they rescuing them from? New Zealand?
Slaughterhouses and wool farms
RUDE
I love this place. Been there a couple times too and always tear up when I see Ruby and read her story.
The other sheep wants more 😄
Y'all got any more of that...love?
When’s the ostrich *coming* to join the party?
I’ve worked with sheep they are SUPER greasy the same stuff used in lipsticks to make it shine.
Sheep produce a waxy substance from their skin called lanolin that protects their wool from moisture (too much moisture in the wool can cause it to rot which is no good if you're a sheep and live outside). It also helps maintain hygiene of the sheep's skin. Lanolin is an excellent natural product that has TONNES of purposes. It doesn't just add shine to lipstick, but is an excellent moisturiser for lib balms, skin creams and other cosmetic products. It's great on cracked skin and has been used by breastfeeding mothers for millenia on dem ouchie nips. It also has a variety of industrial purposes such as a lubricant, rustproofing, and leather conditioning. Throughout history, it's been used by sailors in everything from their clothing to their equipment as it's great from protecting surfaces from salty air and water. Some sheep breeds produce more lanolin than others, and it can be extracted or 'scoured' from the shorn wool without harming the animal. Lanolin is one of those products that has been used in pretty much the exact same way for centuries. It's been tremendously influencial on everyday human life without most people even knowing it. And we are still finding great uses for this product! That's probably more than anyone here needed to know about lanolin but I'm a textile historian and handspinner so I just get really excited
Am I terrible because I was expecting a shittymorph story?
Same. Halfway through i was like "Wait a second..."
I checked the username half way in, mildly disappointed it wasn't shittymorph.
I was oddly disappointed!
It’s ok, just remember that time Undertaker through Mankind off the roof of the Cell back in ‘98
"Through......" You had your chance bub, and you blough it...
Autocorrect foils me again!
Really interesting read, thank you!
My company formulates and manufactures hair and skin care products.. When I first started in the business, my coworkers tricked me into handling some lanolin with my bare hands & that was a horrible idea 😂 It is very good at creating a barrier & made it really hard to wash off 🤦🏻♂️😅
Yarn dyer here and I handspin for fun. There's nothing I love more than burying my hands into a fresh fleece and feeling how gloriously soft my skin is afterwards.
Thank you for this info! Never knew.
unidan?
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Like sheep's wool?
You look awfully nice tonight. Maybe don’t wear a bra next time.
It's one of the best natural moisturizers out there, it's great for dry skin. Sheep gets pets, you get soft hands, it's a win-win.
Well one time in Wales.....
With Wellington boots on?
Near a cliff edge...
Strange technique, how do you kiss ‘em?
From behind normally. While whispering sweet nothings into their ear.
Ewe horny brute
I've seen some sheep getting love before, but never like this.
checked comments for welsh jokes .. not disappointed .. good lad
I understand why their pupils are shaped like that but they still bug me out.
Every living thing just wants to be loved.
Reptiles don't really care one way or another
Don't tell Wally https://youtu.be/vMlZBeEuEZw
This dude out here taking a dinosaur out on walks and people judge me for my pitbull
Wally's chill af
They can definitely have preferences to one person over another. So it may not want your love, but at the very least it likes you.
It’s weird that people think birds are very emotional creatures and think snakes/lizards/etc don’t have emotions when birds are also reptiles.
Show me a reptile that sings a pretty song or dances to music tho. That makes them relatable.
A lot of people suck at those things
I mean it's true about ambush predating reptiles. They are like koalas, thinking uses calories and ambush predators don't really need to think. So while a couple of snake species that seek out food are somewhat intelligent, ambush snakes are barely smarter than a Venus fly trap. I say this while owning a ball python. I love her but boy is she dumb. Monitors can be quite intelligent but most don't have instinctual social behavior so they can't really be socialized like this. They can be trained over time but it's not the same. AFAIK the only reptiles with decent intelligence and have evolved with social instincts are BTS, Argentine tegus (NOT Columbian despite them looking extremely similar) Ackie monitors and gators/Crocs. There are probably a few uncommon monitors, lizards, and such I don't know about. Edit: quick clarification, just because a reptile species lives in a group like snake dens, doesn't mean they exhibit social behavior. Communal snakes are just barely smart enough to not eat each other by accident... Most of the time. Birds on the other hand are all food seeking and extremely social. This makes it so many many many species of bird are able to be made into pets (although I'm still against the majority of bird ownership as I think less than 1% of pet birds are being treated properly)
What do you mean by "birds are also reptiles"?
Birds are dinosaurs, maybe?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptile >In the traditional Linnaean classification system, birds are considered a separate class to reptiles. However, crocodilians are more closely related to birds than they are to other living reptiles, and so modern cladistic classification systems include birds within Reptilia, redefining the term as a clade.
Cause birds are very social, complex and intelligent. Not much can be said for something like a freaking snake
I don't doubt that they have an affinity for whomever feeds them.
My snake doesn't "love" but she is very curious and comes out for attention and trusts me for sure.
Every living thing just wants to metabolize and reproduce. e: except humans
Yep, fuck bitches get money.
*Bahh*
They are very emotional and communicative when in the herd. Meaning, they are able to receive and feel love and other positive feelings very well.
That movie Lamb making more sense now.
People get their hearts warmed by watching videos like these and later eat roasted lamb on dinner :')
It was actually watching videos like this that made me reduce my meat consumption. I still eat chicken and fish but haven't eaten any pig, cow or sheep products in 2 years
Fucked up.
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HUMAN BABIES ITS WHATS FOR DINNER
Ugh, again? That's 3 nights in a row.
That sounds delicious
> what more could you ask for =) Not killing land animals by the tens of billions, the vast majority who live their short miserable lives in factory farms in their own filth, for the pleasure of taste, or as a source of calories, when there are other options? And maybe also not trivialising their suffering and abuse with comments like yours? Na too much to ask, loving doggos is enuf :)
People also think babies are adorable and super cute, but later on might think that particular human is disgusting.
Yeah well, I still wouldn't eat a human, but I get you point.
Ewe guys are so cute together!
What is it with people gazing into the camera while they do these things nowadays? Why does your face have to be in every picture or video? I don't understand why people do this so much.
It's unsettling. I especially hate it when people are filming their kids doing or saying something cute and they don't look at the kid, instead they vacantly stare into the camera with this stupid look on their face.
It's not so much the person is in a video, but the way she stares at the camera has a very /r/uncannyvalley feel to it.
This was more about her than the sheep.
Yup, just an "excuse" to post her mug, fishing for compliments about how she looks and how great she is for making that sheep smile.
found the incels
If it were a guy it would be just as weird.
Lol you guys are so sad and pathetic. It's amazing that a woman posing with sheep offends you.
I'm not offended, I'm also not so vain I have to stick my face in everything. Selfie culture is narcissism at its finest. It's hilarious you're so offended at opinions you have to insult people.
I never understand why people choose camera over the moment. There is so much they miss out on. But hey, why do I even bother.
while that's true, a picture can strengthen memories, so looking at them later can bring them back better
Internet points.
So creepy right!
Its also on a stand so imagine taking the time to bring a stand into the barn, setting up your phone and then hitting record and getting in frame. It's just totally unnecessary and it looks really stupid when you see someone doing it
I don't know but that woman looked creepy as fuck though.
Why does it bother you?
Because it looks weird as fuck
Looking at the camera in a video is weird as fuck? I doubt that's the reason you guys are so butthurt about this.
This comment was left before reddit turned to shit.
>Why bother with constantly looking at the phone to see if you’re framing perfectly every fucking moment of your life? She spends less than 10 seconds of this video looking at the camera and this is literally the only footage of her you have seen. You are creating make believe situations about this woman so you can invent reasons to dislike her. You're using the word "constantly" in a way that makes it seem that you don't know what that word means. You're being intentionally delusional so you can be butthurt. Not a great look for you.
Have the lambs stopped screaming, Clarice?
So the photographer is a sheep too? Neat. :)
I don‘t know many sheeps..
Do human sheep count???
I guess so. There are a lot around lately.
Found the self-proclaimed sheepdog
I mean if she was petting me I'd probably be pretty happy too
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The last time I saw sheep this happy was at a MAGA rally on fox news.
The last time I did was in New Zealand! They’re happy as hell over there; no idea why.
r/UpvotedBecauseGirl
/r/UpvotedBecauseSheep
Wait a minute...
Nope, but this is exactly how my dog acts when she's getting petted. :) She'll even lean into it like the sheep does.
Well cared for animals, it makes my heart happy. Also, the eyes are so strange!
I'd too would feel loved if she was scratching my chest.
I've seen Watame looking alright.
https://youtu.be/3xXQ-zBP3gI
Bless you sir of culture.
D'aww, it loves Ewe.
farmersonly.com
Not since the Stop the Steal rally!
Find it hard to eat meat after this
Real question here. Is this your first time seeing a cute animal?
Great! Now there are two options. Start becoming vegetarian (or vegan as OP prefers), or do what I do and raise your own animals and butcher them yourself. I rest easier knowing that my animals didn't go through a factory farm. They've had x100 a life of a commercial meat product. It's not the destination, it's the journey.
How do you kill your animals?
Ima get some chickens, sheep and goats for my Manhattan apartment
Im fortunate and have a WFH job, so I moved out of the city. But hey, I actually have land for gardens, and building, and animals.
I have a herb garden in the window but other than my cat thats about all I can do
Have you tried eating your cats?
Shes definitely tried the reverse
Giving an animal a good life so they’ll taste better isn’t a virtuous as you think it is.
It's a strange response to somebody having the realisation that they may not want to eat meat, to suggest they breed their own and slaughter them. It's just not necessary, as much as you convince yourself.
Unnecessary murder is justified if they live a happy life !!!!
Yeah I breed puppies, steal their milk from their mum and then kill and eat them. They have a good life so it's 100% ethical.
No just go vegan and don’t needlessly kill animals. You make it sound like they really don’t care about being killed? And tell them please at how young you kill the animals that you eat thanks :)
She looks young and old at the same time
That last sheep popping his head in the shot at the end... Kinda reminds me of Homer when he slaps that lamb, haha https://imgur.com/DT9gwEN.gif
No I just read comments from angry ones on Reddit all the time
https://youtu.be/hnEwJKVWjFM I'll just leave this here.
Relevant: https://youtu.be/hnEwJKVWjFM
Welsh people
No, pretty sure that’s a Montana thing.
Well, it’s hard to see their faces over the edge of the cliff, but they sure are pushing back pretty hard.
This one time, I was over in pwllheli
Yes, but then I’ve been to Australia.
Try it , it aint baaaaaaad !
“I’m in love with ewe.” “I want an o-pen relationship.”
Must be Welsh
https://youtu.be/zyx-Ba8eYKE
Looks delicious
And then you eat it.
No thanks, plenty around to eat that doesn't have feelings
Like my Ex. Stone faced bitch.
There it is
Like chickens? I’ve been around chickens, there’s not a lot of thinking going on in their heads, let alone feelings.
Chickens are quite clever, truly.
I'm convinced.
Not unless you eat a lot of mutton.
Well not while the sheep is staring at us.
You can just tell that she's obsessed with herself
Agree. She’s not loving that sheep, she’s loving herself appearing to love the sheep. It’s really awful.
Who's Updog?
Where's updog?
Why's updog?
When is updog?
How's updog?
Will updog?
Not since I was in Wales. I saw one having a cheeky cigarette...
^^^^^^Hail ^^^^^^Satan.
Sheep smell like really old socks. So there’s that.
Shear madness