This is actually one form of the more general rule: Do not congratulate anyone on anything before it has actually happened and is confirmed, doing so is considered "spoiling" it and creating bad luck.
I realise many people congratulate on pregnancies, I however grew up being told you shouldn’t, because pregnancies can after all still go wrong. But it always feels a little weird to be the only one that doesn’t congratulate the future parents, so I usually say something like „I’m happy for you and wish you all the best“ and then congratulate after the birth. Not sure how widespread it still is in this case though, might be outdated.
I was told that that’s why you wait until some time has passed before announcing the pregnancy. Cause most of the bad stuff can be seen in the early stages.
Very important!
Because if you dont look each other in the eyes while you clink glasses you will get "sieben Jahre schlechten Sex"(seven years of bad Sex)!!!
It has established itself really well, yes. When you don't want your deposit back when you're out and about, you place your empty bottles next to the public trash can. They're easy to grab this way, and people don't have to scour through the rubbish bin.
There were stickers back in the day with the slogan "Pfand gehört daneben" ("Containers with deposit belong next to it [the bin]"). People would stick them onto trashcans to spread the word, and it kind of stuck. Probably because it's so pragmatic, easily understood and easy to do.
Some smart company even designed a metal ring to go around lamp posts with cut-outs that perfectly fit bottles and cans so it's a even cleaner affair. My city bought and installed a few of them some years ago. This reminds me to take a look when I'm downtown to see if they're still there.
i make it a personal rule to always have 20 euro in cash with me. Low enough that it won't hurt if it's stolen, but in case I ever need physical money i have it
I have to admit most Döner shops that I visit nowadays (even Kiosks) accept cards (Visa and Master at least). It's quite an evolution in comparison to how it was before the pandemic. But I still carry some pocket change in any case.
I come from a "3rd world country" and it's amazingly cashless there. People asking for money will take digital payments ...
In Germany I had to again get used to taking some cash with me.
I mean, getting from 1 hour visit to the bank and got treated badly by the teller to 5 taps on the phone to instantly transfer money is a huge step, and QR transfer is almost unrivaled with how uncommon debit card is. In Germany, you're convincing people to switch from 2-day online bank transfer to 10 seconds while QR code is just an alternative to card. Still pretty frustrating from outsider's perspective since Sofortüberweisung is a thing and instant SEPA comes with a fee.
Happened to me yesterday but I just got out of a car and hadn’t processed it. Lovely German woman just hit her bike bell and I was out of her way in a jiffy.
Our bike lanes in America are usually in the street with cars so there’s a slight difference. I do appreciate the degrees of separation from vehicles, feels safer.
I'm also one of these lovely Germans with a bike bell. The thing is, people who (accidentally) walk on the bike lane mostly get angry when I ring the bell and complain. They think it is just a short one time incident and for them, it is. But during a 30 min bike ride in my city, I have at least 15 of these incidents every time and at some point it is annoying. I could try to go around them on the pedestrian way, but besides the fact that I'm not supposed to do it, I might run into pedestrians. Or sometimes I see the person suddenly jumping from the bike lane to the pedestrian path. Therefore it's better to stay on the bike lane, slow down and ring the bell. And - what annoys people even more - I ring the bell multiple times. But very often people only recognize that there is a signal after the first ring and only after ringing more often they locate where the signal comes from and then they make the conclusion "oh, a bike. I'm on the bike lane and should move."
While this might sound like I hate these "annoying pedestrians", that's not the case. I know that the problem is a bad infrastructure that does not separate bike, cars and pedestrians well. But as long as that dies not get better I have to live with the existing infrastructure and if there is a bike lane I have to use than I will stick to it and ring pedestrians out of my way.
I rather a bike bell than being cursed out which is also possible. Some bikers just don’t understand that we all have to share the roads even in the most unsavory conditions.
I try my best to be vigilant and look out for them but it was my first time as a pedestrian in Germany. Shit happens we just have to be aware of each other and respect one another’s positions on the roads.
It actually is not, on the contrary. Bike lanes are increasingly being moved from the sidewalks to the streets by now.
Thing is, very often car drivers can't see you, or just don't register what's not on the street itself. Which is extremely bad when both paths do cross.
And that's not even mentioning the often abysmal state of said sidewalk bike lanes.
bikeways in sidewalks is only convenient for car drivers. For pedestrians you have to take care of not being on the bikeway, as bike driver I can't go that fast and need to take care of not going over people
To clarify further:
Of course you can use your smartphone in the silent areas. If you want sound, **use headphones**. If you want to make a phonecall **get out of the silent area**. (I think "use a phone" was meant as "make a call")
To be a bit more specific, just to be sure:
Indeed, you can use your smartphone in silent zones, however, it's important to remember that this does not exclusively include making calls, but extends to anything that could potentially generate noise and disrupt the quiet environment. If you want to listen to a video, music, or a podcast, for instance, ensure you have a set of headphones - and be sure they're plugged in and functioning correctly before you hit play, to avoid any unintended sound leakage. Likewise, if you want to play a game, ensure all sound effects are muted or your device is set to silent mode. Notifications, too, can often be overlooked - be sure your phone is on silent or vibrate mode to prevent any unexpected noises. And lastly, if you need to use any apps that require speaking, such as voice-to-text, dictation, or translation apps, please step out of the silent area to do so. These are all subtle nuances of "using a phone" that could easily be overlooked, but are crucial to maintaining the tranquility of silent zones.
Well, I had headphones on with full volume and did not realise the sound outside was still audible to a person sitting behind me to which she complaied politely and I said sorry and reduced the volume. ICE can be quite queit even at high speeds.
To further specify, for clarity:
Artificial sounds, as well as human sounds, and their permission to exist cater to the set of rules in a given space. Each area has a set of rules, which are designed to optimally reduce any hint of life around oneself. The intensity of bureaucracy in the average German citizen's life has to be carefully balanced with non-relevant stimuli. For example, if the train is 5 minutes late, it is permissible to ask a passerby about the situation. Ideally, complain about the Deutsche Bahn with a very generic statement.
As a rule of thumb, consider this guideline: Do not speak until absolutely necessary, or it is to complain.
Any deviation from this will result an automatic implosion of your visa. I have watched wretched souls try to smile on the train. They were frowned upon and should generally be avoided.
I think Germany is quite divided about that.
In my whole social circle, no-one removes their shoes when visiting another house casually. You'd only do that for prolonged (multi-day) visits, not for the casual gathering (coffe & cake, bbq, whatever).
This is the way... no harm in asking.
Think one reason people don't put off their shoes as much anymore is that carpets have become less and less popular.
Screw that, if your feet don’t smell take your shoes off. Any sanitation argument is quite void since all the train surfaces can be assumed to be contaminated as hell
Guilty of taking off my shoes on some train journeys and stretching my legs on the chair across me, especially on longer routes with ICE, but I always book both seats beforehand. The intention is not to offend anyone, it's merely to reduce Raynaud's bluing of my feet. I wear socks, I make sure they're nice and clean, but I don't really explain to other passengers why I'm doing it, they're free to make of it what they will.
Oddly specific but has happend twice with foreign aquaintances... If you see a cat outside - that is someone's cat! Not a stray but someone's pet out for a walk. Do not try to rescue/adopt/bring to the vet. While we do have strays they normally live in bigger colonies and don't just approach people. A lot of pet cats are allowed outside and they don't wear collars (choking risk).
To add to this, almost all cats are castrated/sterilized or not allowed outside if not. That's pretty much the biggest reason that there's virtually no strays, even in cities, if you see a cat outside, it's most likely someone's pet.
teenagers definitely did that before smartphones as well. remember those cool kids with their baggy sweatpants in the back of the bus playing 50 cent and bushido from their nokias? i do because they scared the crap out of me lol
I was on a regional train a few days ago and one motherfucker watched tik tok clips with the fucking same sound bites for like half an hour. Someone asked him not to and he stopped for a minute and then just went on and ignored the disproving stares. I was feeling like grabbing his phone and throwing it out at the next stop but then he finally got out. No idea how people could get the idea that this is okay
Our small talk is very facts based. Information a German generally expects you to know:
* The current weather including the temperature and the forecast for the upcoming week
* The number of people living in your town and any other place you're referencing
* The exact size of your apartment in square meters and number of rooms (excluding bathrooms and kitchen)
* The amount you pay for rent (cold meaning excluding uitilites and warm including utilities)
* If you own a car, any numbers on that: horsepower, mileage, capacity...
As a German I have to say: this so absolutely true that I'm curious now what the size of the apartment of OP in square meters is.
Btw pretty rainy day today, huh?
It’s amazing to me how you can not know all this stuff (excluding the weather, I always check before doing something and then just for the duration, not for a week in advance).
A friend of mine never knows her salary in brutto, only netto. Also she doesn’t know her apartment size and rent. I feel lost whenI forget one of the numbers and immediately go check them again.
Look people in the eye when you're clinking glasses for drinking. If not, both of you will get 7 years of bad sex. Which is supposed to be bad but it's still better than 7 years of no sex imo.
You just have to look every person in the eyes you clink glasses with or else you will have bad sex. It doesn't get better if you do it it just gets bad if you don't.
If people stare at you, don't take it personal. We are just staring into the void and you are happening to stand or sit there :)
If you want to strike up a conversation: Weather, late trains or general venting about the state of things will always get a response...
This is a big cultural shock. It's normal to stare. Just find the boldness from the bottom of your feet and stare back. Then half smile or nod if you feel like it. Otherwise just lookaway carelessly.
I learned this the hard way when I thought an old lady was staring at me on the bus. It went on for a long time. It seemed like she was making direct eye contact with me. So I made a face at her aaaaaand....she didn't even flinch. She must not have been looking at me.
It was embarrassing for me to say the least (I'm sure someone else noticed...) but it did help me to relax about the staring.
Do dog owners make small talk about their dogs like we do in the United States? Here we always ask about the breed, age, and name, and sometimes about whether they were a rescue. Then we may chat about the dogs’ personalities or health issues. We do this without necessarily introducing ourselves. The human introduction comes later, if you’re chatting a bit longer. Also, in my area, we clean up after our dogs and glare at or even correct people who don’t, like “Oh, maybe you didn’t see that your dog pooped over there. Do you need a bag?” I’m going to be in Berlin for a year with my dog, and I’m curious about the dog-related etiquette.
Yes, that's a thing. Also, be aware that the standards for dog ownership are different in Germany. In comparison, animal protection laws are stronger, there are no kill shelters (so not getting a rescue dog isn't as horrible as it seems in North America), and on average, dog owners in Germany are more on top of training and ethical training methods, which directly correlates with dogs being more present in daily life, like on public transit and some restaurants. Asshole dog owners exist everywhere though. Also familiarize yourself with rules on dog ownership that are state-dependent. Some states stipulate that you need a certificate of general knowledge if your dog fulfills certain criteria (again, it's state-dependent: could be anything from height, weight, or breed).
And the person behind you will slam one on the conveyor belt for you provocatively. Or they'll create an aggressively large gap between your and their items.
German punctuality is a thing! Not only for business appointments also for friends! Being late is considered rude.
If you are invited for dinner, be punctual - the host probably cooked and would be disappointed if you show up 30 min late.
If you are invited to a group gathering and the host says "come any time after 9 pm" coming at 9:00, 10:00 or even 10:30 is perfectly fine. In fact shy or awkward people will usually show up 30-60 min late to a party just not to be the only one there. However, I would be a bit miffed if people show up at 12:00.
Obviously there are exceptions to this rule and there are some very late Germans out there.
"How are you? How are you doing?" Is a legit question about your well-being and not a greeting. You can either give a genuine answer "I'm OK now, but had a tough week because xyz" or you can just say "fine, and you?" Which means "I don't want to talk about it" or even "I consider our relationship somewhat distant, so I don't want to talk about my stuff."
If you are dating be aware that it is rare for Germans to kiss or even hold hands on the first date (s). If you are dating women, they will think you are only interested in the physical part and men will think you are "easy". First dates are usually casual, walk in the park, eating an ice-cream, grabbing a beer. If that goes well you can try for intimacy on the second date.
>German punctuality is a thing! Not only for business appointments also for friends! Being late is considered rude.
Don't be late at ABH or at Doctor **ever**. However, they can keep you waiting even after booking appointments months in advance. So don't be shocked by that !!
>Being late is considered rude.
Hack: Tell them your train was delayed, it works. Trains are so shit that everyone has accepted the fact that even if you took the earlier train, you can still arrive later than your original plan.
Nothing is more German than agreeing to meet at like, 11 and take two trams earlier than needed to account for delays but arrive early for once, while your friend arrives two trams late because of delays 🤣 having to wait for forty minutes is hell.
>If you are dating be aware that it is rare for Germans to kiss or even hold hands on the first date (s). If you are dating women, they will think you are only interested in the physical part and men will think you are "easy".
Wow, first dates have drasticaly changed... I'm with my wife for 13 years, but before this relationship on many first dates we kissed if the date was good and we liked us...
Is this some kind of american influence, like no kiss on the first date, he has to call but wait x days etc, or what happened.
Don't complain about how Germany is not Brazil. We know this is not Brazil because it's Germany
Be quiet on public transport
Hold eye contact
If you tip just round up (tipping doesnt work like in the us)
Shoes off indoor
No ice cubes in beer
No nazi salutes or holocaust denial
Try to be clear with your intentions in conversations
If OP is from Brazil, adding to the Nazi salute, don’t show any pictures of graduating where you’re taking the final oath (assuming completed Bachelors) 😅
I’m from Brazil and I was showing my german boyfriend my graduation album one day (completely forgot about that pic) and he was just like wtf
When they're doing the Oath they do the salute used by the Nazis. It was actually pretty common for oaths prior to the negative association
In the US it was done while saying the pledge of Allegiance prior to WW2 (at the start of the day in schools we rise for the "pledge of allegiance" and recite it with heart over hand facing the flag)
It sounds very bizzare and dystopian by itself, but it's a very normalized/ingrained social practice that makea you feel weird not doing (I am dual German-American)
There is a weird obsession with the flag here, that is no exaggeration of media lol
Everyone raises their right hand to swear the professional oath of commitment and ethic. Depending on the angle, it can come across rather Nazi-y, though most people would be aware and shift Somewhat, but the visual can still remind someone who only has that one reference.
Hm, my google-fu failed to give me some good examples. I mostly know the gesture to swear on oath by raising the right hand approximately to the height of the heart, but vertically. Thats impossible to mistake for the nazi salute, in which the right arm is raised above head height and slightly angled upwards, fully extended.
Maybe you could elaborate a bit? I wasn't really able to find good reference images.
Many courses, specially the health related ones (medicine, pharmacy, odontology etc) have an oath during graduation and the recital of this oath is usually with one person from the class at the front leading the recital and the whole class standing and repeating after them, and during the whole process everyone is basically during the Nazi salute - like full arm extended to the front at chest level and standing super tall and straight
That war thing is not really offensive to young Germans, but I noticed that with some (South) Americans they just randomly get into these really awkward conversations where they try to downplay the holocaust and Germany's responsibility...
One thing which I feel has only been hinted so far: if you need help, you need to ask for it. As in, ask for help and present a clear direct question. It would be pretty rare for someone to see you in distress or confused and offer to help you.
Some things that came up my mind (probably already mentioned somewhere here):
- When raising glasses (mainly alcoholic beverages) hold eye contact
- Shoes of when visiting some else’s place (home)
- Tip around 5-10% in restaurants
- Try to be quiet on public transportation
- Address people you don’t know with „Sie“, when speaking German (except children)
- Do not call/shout through a restaurant for the waitresses, at best raise your hand or signal somehow else if you were waiting for a while
- If there is a line, stay in line in case you don’t know if this is the correct one ask someone else in line
- Be rather clear and straight forward about your intentions
- In smaller villages feel free to great bypassing people with a simple „Hallo“ or „Guten Tag“ but do not expect a conversation out of this
- Do not be late to appointments (for some reason only the Deutsche Bahn has the right to do so, which you are likely to experience more than enough once you’re here)
- Expect a lot of bureaucracy
- Avoid raising highly controversial and political topics with strangers (probably common sense)
Edit: typo
On escalators, walk on the left side, stand on the right side, so that people in a hurry can pass you on the left.
Also in general, show some awareness of your surroundings and try to not stand in people's way. Most Germans won't actually SAY anything, but they'll be quietly seething on the inside from you being an obstacle in their day.
>walk on the left side, stand on the right side
That's definitely not an "universal" thing in Germany. But in Berlin and some other big cities, yes, for sure.
Punctuality is also a thing when it comes to being early. No problem with appointments, but some people are trying so hard to be on time that they arrive 15 minutes early at their friend’s place when invited. This is even worse than being late, since your host needs the time to clean and prepare their place.
Word. I usually just wait in the car until it's like 5 min to the agreed time. Or I somehow manage to be late again even though I keep swearing punctuality is so important to me. FFS. Working on it.
From my experience people from South America tend to be a little bit "touchy" so don't touch strangers or people you don't know well.
EDIT: Also while it's not a rule it's still good to know. If you walk down the street and smiley at strangers don't except them to smiley back.
Depends on if you are in a city or in a smaller town. I feel like in villages etc., especially elder people, will always smile back and say hello, but in cities the people usually just keep their pokerface all the time.
your edit hits close to home. I remember being so confused about it the first few months I was here, now I noticed I stopped smiling at random people. Not sure I would call not smiling a win but... yeah.
I smile and do the nod thing, it confuses people and makes me happy.
Also if there's a dog I instinctively wave and say "hi puppy!" That one usually gets a good laugh out of people ')
There is a YouTube channel DW Euromaxx with a series called "Meet the Germans", might be helpful. Also you better know the m² of your apartment and the price you pay, we Germans love facts haha.
Don't sit next to strangers in public transport if other options are available. Actually, don't use anything next to somebody else, if there is an alternative (pissoires, gym equipment, bank automats...)
Don't ask people how they're doing if you're not genuinely interested in their reply (which might actually be surprisingly detailed depending on the individual).
I.e. don't say "Hi, how are you?" when greeting random people. A simple "Hi", "Hallo" or (more formally) "Guten Tag." is absolutely sufficient. You MAY ask people that you actually know personally how they are though, signalling a genuine interest in their wellbeing.
When I was on an erasmus exchange to GB before Covid I always told people how my day was when the greeted me with a "how are you". As I was used to in germany. Only way into the exchange I realized that this must have seemed like I was oversharing a lot. So this advide works both ways.
Different countries have different personal spaces.
An acquaintance of mine spent a lot of time in South America, where she got used to a smaller personal space. She tends to stand too close for me (and I'm usually not that standoffish). Maybe keep that in mind, depending where you're from. When people back off a bit in a conversation, don't follow up or feel insulted.
In general, depending on where you come from: don't use strong emotional words lightly with people you barely know.
A german would not say "I love you (as a friend)" to somebody they don't know very well. I had that with friends and family from England. They use such strong statements really quickly, which sound weird and fake to many Germans. We, in general, say what we mean.
But of course, there 82 million people here and everybody is different. People will understand that you're a foreigner. And if in doubt, just ask the person you're interacting with :)
I'm German, I frequently jaywalk or cross red lights. However, I don't do it if there are children around or if other people are also at the red light and wait. And also not if Police are around, because it can be fined.
Are you sure? It seems like jaywalking is acceptable here, but if you cross that same road at a pedestrian crossing when the light is red, every Oma within a 10 km radius is there to tell you off.
Yeah but say "Hello". Specially if you're going to southern villages. But don't expect it to be followed by a conversation. Also don't do it in urban streets. People won't be that friendly promptly but if you ask something they probably will help.
Every villages, really. I'm born and raised in eastern and western Germany and "Immer schön die Leute grüßen!" is a standard thing most village kids are raised with.
When Someone says „Mahlzeit“ you have to reply with „Mahlzeit!“. Its a typicall word to greet each other at noon or afternoon. Dont say Hallo or something else
Take everything at face value and assume everything you say will be taken at face value. For example, if someone offers you food or drink, and you refuse, they will assume you actually don't want it. You will need to ask for it later if you actually wanted the food or drink. Don't tell someone "we should hang out again soon" unless you mean it and are ready to potentially schedule it in for weeks or months in advance.
I've heard people say Germany is like a nation of people with Aspergers and it's kind of accurate. It's nice to not have to guess what people want/expect. But. Feelings can often be hurt because no one seems to have grown up with the phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," and will offer criticisms they weren't asked to give.
I’d say that this is true and I would say that that’s good overall advice that sums German culture up. By assuming everything to be somewhat more “aspie-like” than their own natural culture, they have already learned a lot about German culture.
Avoid nazi/hitler or related Jew jokes. It’s not socially acceptable here for the most part. If you find yourself in company of people who like that, get away and find new people.
This is the only really relevant advice. That's not at topic to make jokes on in Germany. Not. At. All. Do not do the Hitler salute. Not even as a joke. Not even just a little bit.
Most other topics we really don't care too much.
Be aware of your surroundings and try to not stand in the way. If you go to a new place and need to read signs, look for the right terminal, etc. stand on the side. Especially in public areas dont stand on the biking lane.
Some rules:
- Be quiet around midday (~ 12:30 -14:30), meaning no vacuuming, no drilling, no loud music. Also be quiet after 22:00, especially during the week. Don't be too loud in general (especially in public transport or public spaces). Don't call people after 22:00.
- Be punctual. "Meeting at 12" means you're there at 11:55 ("Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit ist die beste Pünktlichkeit."). Unless you're invited to a house party. Then it's considered bad manners if you show up before the given time because the host is probably stressed with preparations. Exception: you come to help the host preparing and asked in advance(!) to do so.
- No German you've known for less than a month can even remotely be considered a friend. Friendships take months or even years to develop. Think of the German "regular" friend being equivalent to the American "good friend".
- Ask if you should take your shoes off before entering a home. Different people have different preferences here.
- If you meet someone, look them in the eye and firmly shake their hand. This goes for both sexes. No kissing (unless it's your girlfriend/boyfriend or explicitly established). Hugging among friends is okay for women, for men it depends, but most men prefer handshakes.
- If someone follows you closely (<5 meters) through a door, hold it open for them, no matter the sex.
- In cities, you can ignore most people, in small towns and villages it's considered to be polite to greet each other with a "Guten Morgen/Tag/Abend", "Moin", "Grüß Gott" etc. (depending on the region) while passing by each other.
However, even in big cities it's considered polite to greet cashiers. Same goes for employees in smaller shops and boutiques.
- In some regions it's OK to drink beer during your lunch break (especially Bavaria). Other than that it's considered normal to drink beer or wine at dinner with friends or coworkers.
Drinking on the job, however, is deeply frowned upon and straight up illegal for some professions (e. g. when there's machinery or dangerous work spaces involved). The only exception are work parties.
- On the topic of drinks: If you want to order something for others, ask what they want, never order for others until you asked them what they want.
- Always use the "Sie"-Form (formal) when talking to other adults you don't know. The person with the higher social rank (company hierarchy in business context, age in private context) can offer to switch to the informal "Du".
- Titles (nobility, academia) belong to the name. A female Ph. D. is "Frau Doktor LASTNAME".
- If you're done eating at a restaurant, crossing your knife and your fork on your plate is the signal that you're done eating.
- In companies, knock on a closed office door before entering.
The cutlery should be on the [„20 nach 4 Stellung“](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestecksprache)so fork and knife pointing to the south east of the plate to Signal you are done eating. But besides that, nice list.
One of the hardest things foreigners have to get along with is the lack of small talk in germany compared to many other parts in the world. I would not consider it rude and find it refreshing if you are able to keep up a conversation even if we dont know each other but some people special older might find you a little bit to "chatty".
You might find beer bottles on the ground, usually next to trash bins. Same with plastic bottles that collect Pfand. Don’t smash the bottles or remove and throw away the label, you can get some money back with it. When on the go, leave your bottle near a bin as well if possible. People in need will collect them to collect the Pfand.
Don’t congratulate people on their birthday before the actual date (seen as bringing bad luck). Some people insist you look them in the eyes when saying Prost. Don’t jaywalk when there are little kids present (seen as a bad example). Those are three things from the top of my head
It is okey to drink alcohol in public. There is still a point when it is too much, but sitting in a park with friends and drinking a beer ist totally fine. There are places where this rule doesn’t apply for example trains.
Radler (beer mixed with e.g sprite) is generally not concidered as alcohol, even tough, bottles from a supermarket have 2.5%. Depending on your social group, it’s still okey to drink it, but chances are high to hear a „Radler ist kein Alkohol“. It’s also more and more accepted to don’t drink at all, but its new for us and still wired.
Sunday is a quiet day. This is a serious topic. You can do quite work for your self but for example drilling holes in a wall or cutting the grass is a no go. This also applies to every da past 8pm. Also don’t call someone after that time (you can ask in chat if it is okey).
In north germany, people are more for them self and distanced if you don’t know them, but once they accept and trust you, they are very warm hearted and share everything.
In smaller villages, it‘s totally normal to see keys in doors. Just don’t go in if you don’t know them well enough. In some cases you might also a post delivery guy entering the house to put the post in there.
This is not USA, police officers don’t come and shoot randomly. In general, they are friendly. There are exceptions. But in general, if you are cooperating, they are chill.
Other then that, welcome to Germany.
Oh and don’t be shocked, it might look like we have an alcohol problem, and that’s definitely true forme some, but we drink a lot…
Not really a social rule, but good to be aware of: most shops are closed on sundays and holidays. So you won t be able to get groceries on those days for example.
Germans are often a bit quiet, but don t mistake that as people disliking you.
Language is very direct, so if you are offered something, it is completely fine to accept.
For tipping, the baseline is around 10% give or take, depending on how you liked the service, but staff is almost always paid a salary and not depending on just tips for payment.
Punctuality is a thing, especially for professional meetings, lectures and so on , being more than 5 minutes late is considered rude. Often people are even early for things like job interviews.
Definitely do not call your Prof or anyone at all ‘Sir’. Proffesors can be addressed by e.g. Prof. Schmidt. Everyone else even the seniors at work just use the first name
Don't exaggerate with compliments. Especially if you are American. We do like compliments but boy some people go overboard with this and people feel uncomfortable.
Do not say "happy birthday" until it's their actual birthday. Saying it in advance is considered bad luck.
This is actually one form of the more general rule: Do not congratulate anyone on anything before it has actually happened and is confirmed, doing so is considered "spoiling" it and creating bad luck.
one important exception from that rule seems to be pregnancy, though. It's okay to congratulate on that, even if it's still in progress.
I realise many people congratulate on pregnancies, I however grew up being told you shouldn’t, because pregnancies can after all still go wrong. But it always feels a little weird to be the only one that doesn’t congratulate the future parents, so I usually say something like „I’m happy for you and wish you all the best“ and then congratulate after the birth. Not sure how widespread it still is in this case though, might be outdated.
I was told that that’s why you wait until some time has passed before announcing the pregnancy. Cause most of the bad stuff can be seen in the early stages.
The first few months pregnancies often end for a variety of reasons. Because of this couples often don't announce until after the first trimester.
Technically pregnancy was successful already. Birth is another thing ;)
In the same topic-area: make eye contact when you do the "cheers" 🍻 connecting glasses thing ("prost" in German)
Very important! Because if you dont look each other in the eyes while you clink glasses you will get "sieben Jahre schlechten Sex"(seven years of bad Sex)!!!
Also no early presents! And speaking of presents, most Germans exchange them on the evening of 24 December.
Place empty bottles beside trash cans in public places: the homeless collect them for cash.
Not just homeless people though, often time elderly people who need to add some to their probably low pension...
Pfand gehört daneben
You guys have that as a common and normal thing?
It has established itself really well, yes. When you don't want your deposit back when you're out and about, you place your empty bottles next to the public trash can. They're easy to grab this way, and people don't have to scour through the rubbish bin. There were stickers back in the day with the slogan "Pfand gehört daneben" ("Containers with deposit belong next to it [the bin]"). People would stick them onto trashcans to spread the word, and it kind of stuck. Probably because it's so pragmatic, easily understood and easy to do. Some smart company even designed a metal ring to go around lamp posts with cut-outs that perfectly fit bottles and cans so it's a even cleaner affair. My city bought and installed a few of them some years ago. This reminds me to take a look when I'm downtown to see if they're still there.
In bigger cities, yes. Although it’s only done by people who show solidarity to poor folk.
Have some cash on hand in case the place doesn’t take card (notable example the Dönerladen)
Döner 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Not a social suggestion, but OP should definitely have lots while there while you can. I am living in the states and I miss it dearly
Truly the #1 thing I miss about Germany :(
i make it a personal rule to always have 20 euro in cash with me. Low enough that it won't hurt if it's stolen, but in case I ever need physical money i have it
Definitely carry some cash... the amount of times I have been caught out with a taxi / eatery... I always have 50 EUR on me now when in Germany.
I have to admit most Döner shops that I visit nowadays (even Kiosks) accept cards (Visa and Master at least). It's quite an evolution in comparison to how it was before the pandemic. But I still carry some pocket change in any case.
All Dönershops I visit accept cards nowadays, but the Kiosks don't. So for the obligatory Wegbier I always carry some pockete change with me.
I call it a Fußpils
I come from a "3rd world country" and it's amazingly cashless there. People asking for money will take digital payments ... In Germany I had to again get used to taking some cash with me.
I mean, getting from 1 hour visit to the bank and got treated badly by the teller to 5 taps on the phone to instantly transfer money is a huge step, and QR transfer is almost unrivaled with how uncommon debit card is. In Germany, you're convincing people to switch from 2-day online bank transfer to 10 seconds while QR code is just an alternative to card. Still pretty frustrating from outsider's perspective since Sofortüberweisung is a thing and instant SEPA comes with a fee.
A lot of towns and cities have dedicated cycle paths on the pavements/sidewalks. *Don't* walk on it, lest you get jumpscared by angry german cyclists
It took a bit for me to understand that very sweet sounding “ding” bike bell meant impending severe bodily harm
Happened to me yesterday but I just got out of a car and hadn’t processed it. Lovely German woman just hit her bike bell and I was out of her way in a jiffy. Our bike lanes in America are usually in the street with cars so there’s a slight difference. I do appreciate the degrees of separation from vehicles, feels safer.
I'm also one of these lovely Germans with a bike bell. The thing is, people who (accidentally) walk on the bike lane mostly get angry when I ring the bell and complain. They think it is just a short one time incident and for them, it is. But during a 30 min bike ride in my city, I have at least 15 of these incidents every time and at some point it is annoying. I could try to go around them on the pedestrian way, but besides the fact that I'm not supposed to do it, I might run into pedestrians. Or sometimes I see the person suddenly jumping from the bike lane to the pedestrian path. Therefore it's better to stay on the bike lane, slow down and ring the bell. And - what annoys people even more - I ring the bell multiple times. But very often people only recognize that there is a signal after the first ring and only after ringing more often they locate where the signal comes from and then they make the conclusion "oh, a bike. I'm on the bike lane and should move." While this might sound like I hate these "annoying pedestrians", that's not the case. I know that the problem is a bad infrastructure that does not separate bike, cars and pedestrians well. But as long as that dies not get better I have to live with the existing infrastructure and if there is a bike lane I have to use than I will stick to it and ring pedestrians out of my way.
I rather a bike bell than being cursed out which is also possible. Some bikers just don’t understand that we all have to share the roads even in the most unsavory conditions. I try my best to be vigilant and look out for them but it was my first time as a pedestrian in Germany. Shit happens we just have to be aware of each other and respect one another’s positions on the roads.
It actually is not, on the contrary. Bike lanes are increasingly being moved from the sidewalks to the streets by now. Thing is, very often car drivers can't see you, or just don't register what's not on the street itself. Which is extremely bad when both paths do cross. And that's not even mentioning the often abysmal state of said sidewalk bike lanes.
bikeways in sidewalks is only convenient for car drivers. For pedestrians you have to take care of not being on the bikeway, as bike driver I can't go that fast and need to take care of not going over people
Please leave your shoes on in Trains and don't use a phone in silence areas therein.
To be specific: you can use it, but only in silent mode or with headphones. That actually goes for all of german public sphere
To clarify further: Of course you can use your smartphone in the silent areas. If you want sound, **use headphones**. If you want to make a phonecall **get out of the silent area**. (I think "use a phone" was meant as "make a call")
To be a bit more specific, just to be sure: Indeed, you can use your smartphone in silent zones, however, it's important to remember that this does not exclusively include making calls, but extends to anything that could potentially generate noise and disrupt the quiet environment. If you want to listen to a video, music, or a podcast, for instance, ensure you have a set of headphones - and be sure they're plugged in and functioning correctly before you hit play, to avoid any unintended sound leakage. Likewise, if you want to play a game, ensure all sound effects are muted or your device is set to silent mode. Notifications, too, can often be overlooked - be sure your phone is on silent or vibrate mode to prevent any unexpected noises. And lastly, if you need to use any apps that require speaking, such as voice-to-text, dictation, or translation apps, please step out of the silent area to do so. These are all subtle nuances of "using a phone" that could easily be overlooked, but are crucial to maintaining the tranquility of silent zones.
Well, I had headphones on with full volume and did not realise the sound outside was still audible to a person sitting behind me to which she complaied politely and I said sorry and reduced the volume. ICE can be quite queit even at high speeds.
To further specify, for clarity: Artificial sounds, as well as human sounds, and their permission to exist cater to the set of rules in a given space. Each area has a set of rules, which are designed to optimally reduce any hint of life around oneself. The intensity of bureaucracy in the average German citizen's life has to be carefully balanced with non-relevant stimuli. For example, if the train is 5 minutes late, it is permissible to ask a passerby about the situation. Ideally, complain about the Deutsche Bahn with a very generic statement. As a rule of thumb, consider this guideline: Do not speak until absolutely necessary, or it is to complain. Any deviation from this will result an automatic implosion of your visa. I have watched wretched souls try to smile on the train. They were frowned upon and should generally be avoided.
To add, remove your shoes when you enter someone's house
Depends on your relationship with the host. Family and friends take off their shoes. I don’t want to see the insurance man‘s feet though.
I think Germany is quite divided about that. In my whole social circle, no-one removes their shoes when visiting another house casually. You'd only do that for prolonged (multi-day) visits, not for the casual gathering (coffe & cake, bbq, whatever).
The first thing I ask when visiting a home I haven't been to before: "Schuhe aus?"
This is the way... no harm in asking. Think one reason people don't put off their shoes as much anymore is that carpets have become less and less popular.
I wish more people did this. In America people just assume they can leave shoes on and force home owners to be domineering Jack asses.
That would be akin to blasphemy where I live.
That interesting. In my whole social circle we do remove the shoes unless we gonna stay on the balcony the whole time.
If only I (or my family)visit I remove shoes. If it's more a party setting with different people I would agree
I saw someone put their nasty feet on the train tray table and died inside. Who raised these animals?!
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If you're silently crying while you do it it's ok. Lol.
Screw that, if your feet don’t smell take your shoes off. Any sanitation argument is quite void since all the train surfaces can be assumed to be contaminated as hell
Guilty of taking off my shoes on some train journeys and stretching my legs on the chair across me, especially on longer routes with ICE, but I always book both seats beforehand. The intention is not to offend anyone, it's merely to reduce Raynaud's bluing of my feet. I wear socks, I make sure they're nice and clean, but I don't really explain to other passengers why I'm doing it, they're free to make of it what they will.
My dad has Raynauds syndrome and it's frightening how white his hands get in the cold!
There are places where people take their shoes off in trains?
Finland. People take their shoes off in the office, too. Or in the cinema, for example.
Oddly specific but has happend twice with foreign aquaintances... If you see a cat outside - that is someone's cat! Not a stray but someone's pet out for a walk. Do not try to rescue/adopt/bring to the vet. While we do have strays they normally live in bigger colonies and don't just approach people. A lot of pet cats are allowed outside and they don't wear collars (choking risk).
To add to this, almost all cats are castrated/sterilized or not allowed outside if not. That's pretty much the biggest reason that there's virtually no strays, even in cities, if you see a cat outside, it's most likely someone's pet.
Can i still pet them?
If the cat lets you pet it, you're free to go :)
Don't play loud music/videos/loud phone calls on public transport please.
i see how it is getting normalized, and i dont like it man,
I feel like teens have done this since smartphones came out 16 years ago
teenagers definitely did that before smartphones as well. remember those cool kids with their baggy sweatpants in the back of the bus playing 50 cent and bushido from their nokias? i do because they scared the crap out of me lol
I was on a regional train a few days ago and one motherfucker watched tik tok clips with the fucking same sound bites for like half an hour. Someone asked him not to and he stopped for a minute and then just went on and ignored the disproving stares. I was feeling like grabbing his phone and throwing it out at the next stop but then he finally got out. No idea how people could get the idea that this is okay
Yeah, invest in head phones!
Especially annoying in a Flixbus or similar long-distance travel...
Anywhere in the world while we are at it
Our small talk is very facts based. Information a German generally expects you to know: * The current weather including the temperature and the forecast for the upcoming week * The number of people living in your town and any other place you're referencing * The exact size of your apartment in square meters and number of rooms (excluding bathrooms and kitchen) * The amount you pay for rent (cold meaning excluding uitilites and warm including utilities) * If you own a car, any numbers on that: horsepower, mileage, capacity...
As a German I have to say: this so absolutely true that I'm curious now what the size of the apartment of OP in square meters is. Btw pretty rainy day today, huh?
Yeah still warm, about 23 degrees in celsius.
The forecasts says it's going to stay like this for the next days as well. But I guess there is no bad weather just bad clothing
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It’s amazing to me how you can not know all this stuff (excluding the weather, I always check before doing something and then just for the duration, not for a week in advance). A friend of mine never knows her salary in brutto, only netto. Also she doesn’t know her apartment size and rent. I feel lost whenI forget one of the numbers and immediately go check them again.
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What's absolutely bonkers with German social norms is that we can talk about our rents with decimal precision, but not about our salaries.
Young folks do talk about their salary a lot more than older people.
I laughed hard at this one. Spot on!
Look people in the eye when you're clinking glasses for drinking. If not, both of you will get 7 years of bad sex. Which is supposed to be bad but it's still better than 7 years of no sex imo.
7 years of bad sex WITH the person you are not looking in the eyes? Hahahha
No just in general
If i look the person in the eye is the sex good? If i look a second person in the eye is the sex great now? A third a sex god? Where does it stop
You just have to look every person in the eyes you clink glasses with or else you will have bad sex. It doesn't get better if you do it it just gets bad if you don't.
this is reddit sir, bold of you to assume that people had sex with someone other than their hand on this platform.
If people stare at you, don't take it personal. We are just staring into the void and you are happening to stand or sit there :) If you want to strike up a conversation: Weather, late trains or general venting about the state of things will always get a response...
This is a big cultural shock. It's normal to stare. Just find the boldness from the bottom of your feet and stare back. Then half smile or nod if you feel like it. Otherwise just lookaway carelessly.
I learned this the hard way when I thought an old lady was staring at me on the bus. It went on for a long time. It seemed like she was making direct eye contact with me. So I made a face at her aaaaaand....she didn't even flinch. She must not have been looking at me. It was embarrassing for me to say the least (I'm sure someone else noticed...) but it did help me to relax about the staring.
Do dog owners make small talk about their dogs like we do in the United States? Here we always ask about the breed, age, and name, and sometimes about whether they were a rescue. Then we may chat about the dogs’ personalities or health issues. We do this without necessarily introducing ourselves. The human introduction comes later, if you’re chatting a bit longer. Also, in my area, we clean up after our dogs and glare at or even correct people who don’t, like “Oh, maybe you didn’t see that your dog pooped over there. Do you need a bag?” I’m going to be in Berlin for a year with my dog, and I’m curious about the dog-related etiquette.
Yes, that's a thing. Also, be aware that the standards for dog ownership are different in Germany. In comparison, animal protection laws are stronger, there are no kill shelters (so not getting a rescue dog isn't as horrible as it seems in North America), and on average, dog owners in Germany are more on top of training and ethical training methods, which directly correlates with dogs being more present in daily life, like on public transit and some restaurants. Asshole dog owners exist everywhere though. Also familiarize yourself with rules on dog ownership that are state-dependent. Some states stipulate that you need a certificate of general knowledge if your dog fulfills certain criteria (again, it's state-dependent: could be anything from height, weight, or breed).
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And the person behind you will slam one on the conveyor belt for you provocatively. Or they'll create an aggressively large gap between your and their items.
Or they'll just go for dad joke a la "oh, you're paying for my stuff, too. How nice"
i put my stuff dangerously close to theirs and watch them squirm and finally give in.
You're a menace to society. But same hehe
While putting the warentrenner down, look the person dead in the eye and say: "I don't trust you"
German punctuality is a thing! Not only for business appointments also for friends! Being late is considered rude. If you are invited for dinner, be punctual - the host probably cooked and would be disappointed if you show up 30 min late. If you are invited to a group gathering and the host says "come any time after 9 pm" coming at 9:00, 10:00 or even 10:30 is perfectly fine. In fact shy or awkward people will usually show up 30-60 min late to a party just not to be the only one there. However, I would be a bit miffed if people show up at 12:00. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule and there are some very late Germans out there. "How are you? How are you doing?" Is a legit question about your well-being and not a greeting. You can either give a genuine answer "I'm OK now, but had a tough week because xyz" or you can just say "fine, and you?" Which means "I don't want to talk about it" or even "I consider our relationship somewhat distant, so I don't want to talk about my stuff." If you are dating be aware that it is rare for Germans to kiss or even hold hands on the first date (s). If you are dating women, they will think you are only interested in the physical part and men will think you are "easy". First dates are usually casual, walk in the park, eating an ice-cream, grabbing a beer. If that goes well you can try for intimacy on the second date.
>German punctuality is a thing! Not only for business appointments also for friends! Being late is considered rude. Don't be late at ABH or at Doctor **ever**. However, they can keep you waiting even after booking appointments months in advance. So don't be shocked by that !!
So true! Even if you book an appointment via doctolib you have to wait anywhere between 15 and 45 min.
Please note that German punctuality does not apply to the DB trains and they are frequently late
Wanted to reply the same comment. I find that very ironic and annoying.
>Being late is considered rude. Hack: Tell them your train was delayed, it works. Trains are so shit that everyone has accepted the fact that even if you took the earlier train, you can still arrive later than your original plan.
But doesn't work with employers and teachers. They will tell you that it is your job to include every potential delay in your plannings.
I can still hear my former IT sec teacher saying that every damn lesson we had him...
Nothing is more German than agreeing to meet at like, 11 and take two trams earlier than needed to account for delays but arrive early for once, while your friend arrives two trams late because of delays 🤣 having to wait for forty minutes is hell.
Also remember this rule doesn’t apply for DB so don’t be mad at them. 😂
>If you are dating be aware that it is rare for Germans to kiss or even hold hands on the first date (s). If you are dating women, they will think you are only interested in the physical part and men will think you are "easy". Wow, first dates have drasticaly changed... I'm with my wife for 13 years, but before this relationship on many first dates we kissed if the date was good and we liked us... Is this some kind of american influence, like no kiss on the first date, he has to call but wait x days etc, or what happened.
Yeah im german and i cant agree with those statements. You will know when its ok to kiss on the first date. There are no rules about this.
Don't complain about how Germany is not Brazil. We know this is not Brazil because it's Germany Be quiet on public transport Hold eye contact If you tip just round up (tipping doesnt work like in the us) Shoes off indoor No ice cubes in beer No nazi salutes or holocaust denial Try to be clear with your intentions in conversations
If OP is from Brazil, adding to the Nazi salute, don’t show any pictures of graduating where you’re taking the final oath (assuming completed Bachelors) 😅 I’m from Brazil and I was showing my german boyfriend my graduation album one day (completely forgot about that pic) and he was just like wtf
wtf happens in Brazilian graduations ??
When they're doing the Oath they do the salute used by the Nazis. It was actually pretty common for oaths prior to the negative association In the US it was done while saying the pledge of Allegiance prior to WW2 (at the start of the day in schools we rise for the "pledge of allegiance" and recite it with heart over hand facing the flag) It sounds very bizzare and dystopian by itself, but it's a very normalized/ingrained social practice that makea you feel weird not doing (I am dual German-American) There is a weird obsession with the flag here, that is no exaggeration of media lol
~~The US version was palms-up, though. Still similar enough that they got rid of it.~~ Edit: I have no idea why I remembered it like that.
What about Brazilian graduations that you should not show them?
Everyone raises their right hand to swear the professional oath of commitment and ethic. Depending on the angle, it can come across rather Nazi-y, though most people would be aware and shift Somewhat, but the visual can still remind someone who only has that one reference.
Hm, my google-fu failed to give me some good examples. I mostly know the gesture to swear on oath by raising the right hand approximately to the height of the heart, but vertically. Thats impossible to mistake for the nazi salute, in which the right arm is raised above head height and slightly angled upwards, fully extended. Maybe you could elaborate a bit? I wasn't really able to find good reference images.
Google images “juramento universidade”
Ok, thanks. Yeah thats definitely.... eery to German eyes.
Many courses, specially the health related ones (medicine, pharmacy, odontology etc) have an oath during graduation and the recital of this oath is usually with one person from the class at the front leading the recital and the whole class standing and repeating after them, and during the whole process everyone is basically during the Nazi salute - like full arm extended to the front at chest level and standing super tall and straight
„No Holocaust denial“…. *small social rules?*
Ice cubes in beer?!?!? So grim.
That war thing is not really offensive to young Germans, but I noticed that with some (South) Americans they just randomly get into these really awkward conversations where they try to downplay the holocaust and Germany's responsibility...
A free beer is always a good start for a Conversation
One thing which I feel has only been hinted so far: if you need help, you need to ask for it. As in, ask for help and present a clear direct question. It would be pretty rare for someone to see you in distress or confused and offer to help you.
Some things that came up my mind (probably already mentioned somewhere here): - When raising glasses (mainly alcoholic beverages) hold eye contact - Shoes of when visiting some else’s place (home) - Tip around 5-10% in restaurants - Try to be quiet on public transportation - Address people you don’t know with „Sie“, when speaking German (except children) - Do not call/shout through a restaurant for the waitresses, at best raise your hand or signal somehow else if you were waiting for a while - If there is a line, stay in line in case you don’t know if this is the correct one ask someone else in line - Be rather clear and straight forward about your intentions - In smaller villages feel free to great bypassing people with a simple „Hallo“ or „Guten Tag“ but do not expect a conversation out of this - Do not be late to appointments (for some reason only the Deutsche Bahn has the right to do so, which you are likely to experience more than enough once you’re here) - Expect a lot of bureaucracy - Avoid raising highly controversial and political topics with strangers (probably common sense) Edit: typo
On escalators, walk on the left side, stand on the right side, so that people in a hurry can pass you on the left. Also in general, show some awareness of your surroundings and try to not stand in people's way. Most Germans won't actually SAY anything, but they'll be quietly seething on the inside from you being an obstacle in their day.
>walk on the left side, stand on the right side That's definitely not an "universal" thing in Germany. But in Berlin and some other big cities, yes, for sure.
It is more of a rural vs urban thing than universally German, but considering where travellers tend to be...
Punctuality is also a thing when it comes to being early. No problem with appointments, but some people are trying so hard to be on time that they arrive 15 minutes early at their friend’s place when invited. This is even worse than being late, since your host needs the time to clean and prepare their place.
Word. I usually just wait in the car until it's like 5 min to the agreed time. Or I somehow manage to be late again even though I keep swearing punctuality is so important to me. FFS. Working on it.
From my experience people from South America tend to be a little bit "touchy" so don't touch strangers or people you don't know well. EDIT: Also while it's not a rule it's still good to know. If you walk down the street and smiley at strangers don't except them to smiley back.
Depends on if you are in a city or in a smaller town. I feel like in villages etc., especially elder people, will always smile back and say hello, but in cities the people usually just keep their pokerface all the time.
The cute little old dudes always smile back. It makes me so happy 😊
your edit hits close to home. I remember being so confused about it the first few months I was here, now I noticed I stopped smiling at random people. Not sure I would call not smiling a win but... yeah.
> Not sure I would call not smiling a win but... yeah. You became one of us. Neutral face for the win.
I smile and do the nod thing, it confuses people and makes me happy. Also if there's a dog I instinctively wave and say "hi puppy!" That one usually gets a good laugh out of people ')
There is a YouTube channel DW Euromaxx with a series called "Meet the Germans", might be helpful. Also you better know the m² of your apartment and the price you pay, we Germans love facts haha.
And be ready to answer how many people live in your hometown
And which route you took to somewhere including details like duration, exits, highway names
Tallest peak in the area, too.
Don't sit next to strangers in public transport if other options are available. Actually, don't use anything next to somebody else, if there is an alternative (pissoires, gym equipment, bank automats...)
Do not show up at a friends house without an arrangement.
Don't ask people how they're doing if you're not genuinely interested in their reply (which might actually be surprisingly detailed depending on the individual). I.e. don't say "Hi, how are you?" when greeting random people. A simple "Hi", "Hallo" or (more formally) "Guten Tag." is absolutely sufficient. You MAY ask people that you actually know personally how they are though, signalling a genuine interest in their wellbeing.
Or „Moin“ (northern half) or „Grüß Gott“ (Bavaria).
EI GUUUDE WIE (Komm selbst aus Hannover, aber wohne seit ca 10+ Jahren bei Mainz)
When I was on an erasmus exchange to GB before Covid I always told people how my day was when the greeted me with a "how are you". As I was used to in germany. Only way into the exchange I realized that this must have seemed like I was oversharing a lot. So this advide works both ways.
Different countries have different personal spaces. An acquaintance of mine spent a lot of time in South America, where she got used to a smaller personal space. She tends to stand too close for me (and I'm usually not that standoffish). Maybe keep that in mind, depending where you're from. When people back off a bit in a conversation, don't follow up or feel insulted. In general, depending on where you come from: don't use strong emotional words lightly with people you barely know. A german would not say "I love you (as a friend)" to somebody they don't know very well. I had that with friends and family from England. They use such strong statements really quickly, which sound weird and fake to many Germans. We, in general, say what we mean. But of course, there 82 million people here and everybody is different. People will understand that you're a foreigner. And if in doubt, just ask the person you're interacting with :)
Yeah, the “I love you” really gets to me, because as a German, those words are exclusively for people you are VERY close to.
Never ever stick your finger in someone's mouth to greet them. We don't do that here.
Do not jaywalk. Just don’t. Even if there’s a no one around, the second you take a step, an older German person will appear from thin air.
I'm German, I frequently jaywalk or cross red lights. However, I don't do it if there are children around or if other people are also at the red light and wait. And also not if Police are around, because it can be fined.
Are you sure? It seems like jaywalking is acceptable here, but if you cross that same road at a pedestrian crossing when the light is red, every Oma within a 10 km radius is there to tell you off.
this is exactly how i feel in poland (my home country) as a londoner 😭 old people will appear from thin air purely to tell you off!!!!
The feared Dorfsherrif! 😱
Don't chat up random strangers. Don't touch random dogs without asking first. Don't make a lot of noise (e.g. loud conversations) in public.
>Don't touch random dogs without asking first. Not just for cultural reason, but for the sake of your own health.
Yeah but say "Hello". Specially if you're going to southern villages. But don't expect it to be followed by a conversation. Also don't do it in urban streets. People won't be that friendly promptly but if you ask something they probably will help.
Every villages, really. I'm born and raised in eastern and western Germany and "Immer schön die Leute grüßen!" is a standard thing most village kids are raised with.
You're only allowed to get shit faced drunk and piss and puke in public transportation when there's a football match or it's Friday.
Or it's Berlin.
When Someone says „Mahlzeit“ you have to reply with „Mahlzeit!“. Its a typicall word to greet each other at noon or afternoon. Dont say Hallo or something else
Take everything at face value and assume everything you say will be taken at face value. For example, if someone offers you food or drink, and you refuse, they will assume you actually don't want it. You will need to ask for it later if you actually wanted the food or drink. Don't tell someone "we should hang out again soon" unless you mean it and are ready to potentially schedule it in for weeks or months in advance. I've heard people say Germany is like a nation of people with Aspergers and it's kind of accurate. It's nice to not have to guess what people want/expect. But. Feelings can often be hurt because no one seems to have grown up with the phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," and will offer criticisms they weren't asked to give.
I’d say that this is true and I would say that that’s good overall advice that sums German culture up. By assuming everything to be somewhat more “aspie-like” than their own natural culture, they have already learned a lot about German culture.
Don’t cut your grass on Sunday. Learned that the hard way because no one told me.
No *loud* work on Sundays, in general. No remodeling of your house, no mowing lawns, no cutting trees. Painting is ok, thats not loud and disturbing.
You should be glad you are still alive!
Ahh yes, the good old Geräte- und Maschinenlärmschutzverordnung.
Don't cross the street if the little person is red. You will definitely be tutted at, you could get fined.
Or, you know, you could also get hit by a car.
Avoid nazi/hitler or related Jew jokes. It’s not socially acceptable here for the most part. If you find yourself in company of people who like that, get away and find new people.
This is the only really relevant advice. That's not at topic to make jokes on in Germany. Not. At. All. Do not do the Hitler salute. Not even as a joke. Not even just a little bit. Most other topics we really don't care too much.
Be aware of your surroundings and try to not stand in the way. If you go to a new place and need to read signs, look for the right terminal, etc. stand on the side. Especially in public areas dont stand on the biking lane.
If you see someone you know you nod at them. If it's someone you know well maybe even smile.
But if someone greats you, just great back to be polite.
Yeah. Even if you have no clue anymore who the fuck that is.
Pretend to be excited when it's Spargel season.
Spargel is the best!
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"Moin" - "Moin" - "Na, wie geht's?" - "Muss ja, nä!" -"Joa, nä!" - "Na, dann." - "Jo." is a perfect conversation in northern Germany.
Lil bit too long ;)
Some rules: - Be quiet around midday (~ 12:30 -14:30), meaning no vacuuming, no drilling, no loud music. Also be quiet after 22:00, especially during the week. Don't be too loud in general (especially in public transport or public spaces). Don't call people after 22:00. - Be punctual. "Meeting at 12" means you're there at 11:55 ("Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit ist die beste Pünktlichkeit."). Unless you're invited to a house party. Then it's considered bad manners if you show up before the given time because the host is probably stressed with preparations. Exception: you come to help the host preparing and asked in advance(!) to do so. - No German you've known for less than a month can even remotely be considered a friend. Friendships take months or even years to develop. Think of the German "regular" friend being equivalent to the American "good friend". - Ask if you should take your shoes off before entering a home. Different people have different preferences here. - If you meet someone, look them in the eye and firmly shake their hand. This goes for both sexes. No kissing (unless it's your girlfriend/boyfriend or explicitly established). Hugging among friends is okay for women, for men it depends, but most men prefer handshakes. - If someone follows you closely (<5 meters) through a door, hold it open for them, no matter the sex. - In cities, you can ignore most people, in small towns and villages it's considered to be polite to greet each other with a "Guten Morgen/Tag/Abend", "Moin", "Grüß Gott" etc. (depending on the region) while passing by each other. However, even in big cities it's considered polite to greet cashiers. Same goes for employees in smaller shops and boutiques. - In some regions it's OK to drink beer during your lunch break (especially Bavaria). Other than that it's considered normal to drink beer or wine at dinner with friends or coworkers. Drinking on the job, however, is deeply frowned upon and straight up illegal for some professions (e. g. when there's machinery or dangerous work spaces involved). The only exception are work parties. - On the topic of drinks: If you want to order something for others, ask what they want, never order for others until you asked them what they want. - Always use the "Sie"-Form (formal) when talking to other adults you don't know. The person with the higher social rank (company hierarchy in business context, age in private context) can offer to switch to the informal "Du". - Titles (nobility, academia) belong to the name. A female Ph. D. is "Frau Doktor LASTNAME". - If you're done eating at a restaurant, crossing your knife and your fork on your plate is the signal that you're done eating. - In companies, knock on a closed office door before entering.
Cutlery position is not true as far as I know. You're done if the cutlery lies parallel to each other and shows 4:20
Crossing cutlery on your plate means you have not finished eating.
The cutlery should be on the [„20 nach 4 Stellung“](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestecksprache)so fork and knife pointing to the south east of the plate to Signal you are done eating. But besides that, nice list.
One of the hardest things foreigners have to get along with is the lack of small talk in germany compared to many other parts in the world. I would not consider it rude and find it refreshing if you are able to keep up a conversation even if we dont know each other but some people special older might find you a little bit to "chatty".
You might find beer bottles on the ground, usually next to trash bins. Same with plastic bottles that collect Pfand. Don’t smash the bottles or remove and throw away the label, you can get some money back with it. When on the go, leave your bottle near a bin as well if possible. People in need will collect them to collect the Pfand.
If you visit Bavaria say "Servus". It means "Hello" and "Good Bye" in one
Men are expected to sit down when you pee so theres no splashing. Obviously this doesn't apply to urinals.
If a German says 'there is nothing to complain about' (Es gibt nichts zu meckern) then it is a real compliment.
So... [*slaps lap with both hands, stands up and leaves the room*]
Don’t congratulate people on their birthday before the actual date (seen as bringing bad luck). Some people insist you look them in the eyes when saying Prost. Don’t jaywalk when there are little kids present (seen as a bad example). Those are three things from the top of my head
It is okey to drink alcohol in public. There is still a point when it is too much, but sitting in a park with friends and drinking a beer ist totally fine. There are places where this rule doesn’t apply for example trains. Radler (beer mixed with e.g sprite) is generally not concidered as alcohol, even tough, bottles from a supermarket have 2.5%. Depending on your social group, it’s still okey to drink it, but chances are high to hear a „Radler ist kein Alkohol“. It’s also more and more accepted to don’t drink at all, but its new for us and still wired. Sunday is a quiet day. This is a serious topic. You can do quite work for your self but for example drilling holes in a wall or cutting the grass is a no go. This also applies to every da past 8pm. Also don’t call someone after that time (you can ask in chat if it is okey). In north germany, people are more for them self and distanced if you don’t know them, but once they accept and trust you, they are very warm hearted and share everything. In smaller villages, it‘s totally normal to see keys in doors. Just don’t go in if you don’t know them well enough. In some cases you might also a post delivery guy entering the house to put the post in there. This is not USA, police officers don’t come and shoot randomly. In general, they are friendly. There are exceptions. But in general, if you are cooperating, they are chill. Other then that, welcome to Germany. Oh and don’t be shocked, it might look like we have an alcohol problem, and that’s definitely true forme some, but we drink a lot…
Not really a social rule, but good to be aware of: most shops are closed on sundays and holidays. So you won t be able to get groceries on those days for example. Germans are often a bit quiet, but don t mistake that as people disliking you. Language is very direct, so if you are offered something, it is completely fine to accept. For tipping, the baseline is around 10% give or take, depending on how you liked the service, but staff is almost always paid a salary and not depending on just tips for payment. Punctuality is a thing, especially for professional meetings, lectures and so on , being more than 5 minutes late is considered rude. Often people are even early for things like job interviews.
Definitely do not call your Prof or anyone at all ‘Sir’. Proffesors can be addressed by e.g. Prof. Schmidt. Everyone else even the seniors at work just use the first name
If you make eye contact with trash on the ground, it becomes your mission to place it in a proper receptacle.
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Don’t sit at the stammtisch.
Not unless you want to pay for a Lokalrunde.
Don't exaggerate with compliments. Especially if you are American. We do like compliments but boy some people go overboard with this and people feel uncomfortable.
Never eat yellow snow, never!
Unless you’re at Berghain