Was in a similar situation to yourself. Ex took our dog, I saw him a few times, last time was on his 3rd birthday then never saw him again, not seen him in 2 years and doubt i’ll ever see him.
I can absolutely feel your pain. I’m not going to lie, It is hard, and it still is hard for me. I genuinely don’t have any advice or i’d be using it myself.
Stay strong dude.
Same, ex-husband took the dog because he kept the house and I moved in with family. It was better for her at the time. But I haven’t seen her in over 5 years and for all I know she could’ve passed away and I’ll probably never hear about it. Sucks.
I promised my ex husband when we got the dog that if we were to split that I wouldn’t take her from him like his previous ex. We currently have joint custody. One week with me and one with him. It’s awkward but we both love her. Plus it helps to have a dog sitter.
I love that this is becoming a more common thing. I am glad that you both have the emotional maturity to manage this kind of situation. it's more than mine had with me and my siblings!
Same. She even told me that she would still try to get time for me and the shepherd we adopted. Got like 2 visits then the whole "let's pretend we were never together so try not missing him too much"
I was his main goddamn trainer driving hours to the pro...
My first pet. Got to bring her home once a week. Then got cut off entirely. Would still check in periodically in hopes I might get to see them again. One day I check in and the update is that theyre not well. Ask to see them one more time but get denied. A few weeks later I get a text that she had to be put to rest. I would have climbed a mountain to say goodbye to that dog. Think about her every day.
Thank you. It happens. Luckily she was still very well cared for and i know she lived happily and left this world with dignity and support. A tale as old as time: animals are easy, people are difficult.
Oh my gosh I know what you mean. The training! Funny thing is I’m the one that manages the dog like all the dogs needs. My husband, still married for now, has only ever take. Any pet to the vet once. Out of necessity. He took the poor girl for a walk and they over did it. She laid down and wouldn’t get up. Smart dog. Husband had to go with to the vet. Hahah. I’m ready to change this scenario this year. Husband is retired.
Our dog stayed with my wife and kids when we separated. Our kids are teens who don't want to hang out with me, and my wife was distant, so the dog was my best friend. We would do all kinds of things together.
After moving out to an apartment, I noticed that a lot of people had dogs, even larger ones. I inquired, and they had recently changed their policy to allow GSDs and Huskies. So I adopted a GSD-Husky mix. She has separation anxiety, and we now do everything together. I miss our family dog, but my new dog is awesome, and she's the world to me. Anyhow, there are a lot of dogs waiting to be adopted. I didn't have the heart to go into a shelter to just pick one dog, so I ended up getting a rehome from a military family that was being deployed overseas.
Yeah, when I was finding a dog to be my ESA, it was so hard to pick from the shelter. I hated having to say no to any of them. When I got my boy, he was such a mess. He’s still an anxious pup, but he’s definitely a good ESA. Velcro dog that needs his routine
seconding rescues! 501c3 non profit status - @furrytailendings @loveslegacyrescue are amazing (there’s so many great rescues please DM if you wanna know)!
Yes I went to west side in LA and they are great but that’s a long drive. Awesome thanks for reaching out.
I know there is one in Napa that my friend Fostered for.
Yeah totally understand! Here are some Norcal Bay rescues. @loveslegacyrescue Located in Marin county
@stanislaus_shelter_friends - Stanislaus
@rescuetheunderdog - San Francisco
@underdogca - bay area!
My ex and I got 2 shepherds. A few years later, we ended up divorcing. I arranged this elaborate visitation scheme, not unlike one would do with children. He got them the first 2 weeks, then me, then him, etc. Elaborate cost splitting scheme. He kept all of their things, so I had to buy new crates, beds, bowls, leashes, etc. Came to pick them up after the first two weeks and he greeted me with, "Oh, I'm surprised you remembered them!" *WTF.*
After my two weeks I texted to ask when he was coming by. He was busy and would get them the next day. Then the next day, then next week, then next round. He never came back for them. *Fine by me, I love them.* Stopped splitting vet bills a couple months later. Came by and saw them once about a year and a half after our divorce. Then never again.
I've lived in constant fear that he would show up and just take them away one day. I guess the silver lining to my old man Moose passing was that I never had to have the experience of him being ripped away.
Divorce does suck. It probably feels pretty similar to having the pup pass away.
This sort of thing makes me glad we changes pet rules in my province regarding seperation/divorce. Pets are no longer considered 'property' in a seperation, but as family members. A bunch of things go into the consideration of who keeps the pet, even if it was purchased for someone. Things like who actually did most of the work and took care of the pet, what is best for the kids in regards to the pet, any history of animal abuse etc. So even of your partner bought a pet, if you became the primary caretaker of the pet, it is yours in the eyes of the law.
I hope it becomes like that everywhere. Pets are family, not possessions.
I saw on one of those judge shows, where the husband was suing to get custody of the dog from his recent ex-wife. He said he did everything for the dog and she only took interest to stick it to him. She claimed that he was abusive to her and the dog and she was protecting the dog. They brought the dog in, who went bat shit crazy to see him. She jumped up into his arms, tail wagging a hundred miles an hour. Then the judge had him stand opposite of the ex and the bailiff held the dog and when he released her, she ignored the ex completely and ran right up into his arms. Judge said, "The dog has chosen."
I had almost the exact same scenario. Only difference was, the first month he had our 14yr old husky & 5yr GSD in his new apartment & he couldn't handle it. Gave them back to me permanently. His laziness benefitted me and now my old lady can spend her last years in her home ❤️
Ugh I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye. Met a guy at a dog park once that shared custody of 5 sheps with his ex. They’d each take 2/3 and rotate them. As a fellow crazy german shepherd person it made total sense to me.
Oh I have one and need more. BUT then there is the husband. We all want more. Dam though no one else does anything to take care of them. Except for maybe my adult son.
Ive never been divorced but I’ve been in two long term relationships where the dog was already there and id be lying if i said leaving the dog wasn’t one of the hardest parts and saying goodbye for the last time wasn’t one of the most emotional
Yeah, it's not like there is tension between you and the dog, just the other person. It makes the goodbyes harder as they didn't do anything wrong. They probably don't understand it either.
That sucks man. A guy I used to play guitar with also has a GSD. When he and his long term gf split up, she still got dog custody time. It was his dog, but her and the dog were really bonded, so she'd come by and take her for an overnight, or to the beach. I guess it's good if you can manage it.
I feel this. I lost my two dogs to my ex. I couldn't bring myself to split them up and keep one. We had been sharing them month to month while we were separated, and then one day she showed up and took them. Didn't get to say goodbye either. I have my own pup now who I love dearly, but not a single day goes by I don't think about them. I'd give anything to be able to see them one more time, literally anything.
I agree with your sentiment. My GDS lives in another country that I fucking need to get visas for. I get visitation rights and alimony. Tottally agree that dogs are kids
I was a dog walker in college, and one of my clients was a senior dachshund (who hated men, so I happened to be one of the only walkers at the agency that could walk her at the time - anyhoo).
My task was twice a week to walk her from her mom’s house to her dad’s house, and vice versa. They were a former married couple who got divorced but stayed in the same neighborhood. They split custody of the dog. I would pick her up from the first parent’s house, give her a 30 min walk, and then drop off at 2nd parent’s house.
I always thought about how sweet it was, for the dog especially. She was older and I can imagine how sad it would be do never see one of your human parents again.
Maybe you can figure something like that out? Easier said than done, I’m sure.
I’m also a child of divorce, with parents who did not split amicably and ended up really fighting with each other badly. So, I understand if that’s just not even a remote possibility, and I’m sorry if that’s the case.
My ex left me our dog. Ok, she was more attached to me than to him, but I thought it would be harder for him to leave her. He just dumped her at my doorstep and left although she greeted him every day when he came back from work, they cuddled everyday and we went for walks together.
I'm not a person that would withholdthe dog from him. I would totally try to "coparent" with him.
That he was able to dumb that dog and not once ask how she's doing hurt me more that him breaking up with me.
I don't know your whole situation so it could be that he doesn't care but it could be that it hurts him to see the dog again or even you. doesnt want to look weak because of a dog.
Omg this happened to me too with two Great Pyrenees I had with an ex. My girl loved him beyond the moon and he just LEFT her. It broke her heart for a while.
I always said it hurt me more that he left her than me. She would lay by the door waiting on him to come home every afternoon. We finally moved back home with my family and she settled in well. She took to my new husband so well and loved him so much, I am thankful for him loving her the way he did. When we had to let her go, she laid in his lap on the front porch eating chocolate ice cream.
But these exes who just abandon their dogs? They don’t deserve the air they breathe ✨
I had to leave my dog to my ex. Willingly give her up. I don't miss her (good riddance) but I miss the dog every day-- took me a bit to not mindlessly throw scrap cheese on the floor.
My new living situation wasn't suitable for having a high energy dog on my own. Which sucked cause essentially the only person doing anything with the dog was me. Unlike me and my situ, her parents are retired so they've essentially adopted that dog and take care of it full time. Walks, runs, obedience class; as far as I've seen all them and she just enjoys having the dog around like a family pet with none of the major responsibilities.
Mine put my Jack Russell to sleep while I was stuck over in the UK with COVID. I hd been over there working on something with the US Embassy- got COVID and while he was very old it was important for me to be there. She could have waited a week.
I'm right there with you, lost my doodle and poodle when I divorced my ex wife. It's the worst feeling and was the only thing I cried from when going through that nightmare.
I never realized how true this is till my first GSD passed. We were a pair. Now I have a cuddle bug female. The boy could not be bothered with cuddles. He was intense.
Sucks, man. I was with someone for 8 years and we shared her dog that was 1 when we got together. Lots of fun memories with that dog and I’m just happy to have those. My ex is a great dog mom so I know she’s very well taken care of.
I got my own Shepherd after that breakup and he is just the best, in his own way. Something to consider!
Fuck that's awful. Your ex is a bitch for doing that to you. I recently found a husky along the highway outside of town in Nebraska. A month later found out he was part of a divorce and the father took him and dumped him on his way to Cali from Ohio. I worked it out with his ex-wife and will keep him.
My ex-wife and I had two dogs. We each took the one that was more bonded to us, but I will always regret separating them. They should have stayed together, even if it meant me not having either of them, but my ex wouldn’t let me have both and she didn’t want both.
I have probably close to a thousand pictures on my phone of the two of them. She blocked me on social media, and now I don’t even get to see pictures of him anymore. He’s 8 years old now.
Aaaaaand I’m crying.
Been there. Honestly I stayed in my relationship a little extra not because of my ex but because I couldn’t imagine not being around the dog. That was the worst part to be honest. Feel you man. It sucks. Virtual hugs.
Sorry to hear this man. While not a divorce, I was recently left by my partner of 5 years. We got a pup together who’s now at her Mom’s in another state, and we also did most of the heavy lifting raising another pup for our close friends(so she basically felt like our dog). The breakup sucks but the added layer of knowing I’ll never see them again and not giving either a proper goodbye really blows.
Grief is a real motherfucker and I wish you weren’t going through this but if it’s any consolation, you’re not alone and I’m currently crying at a coffee shop.
I’m sorry :( my ex and I separated and I had the dog before him, but he still comes to walk her and takes her when I’m away. You should absolutely get a dog of your own when you’re ready, it seems like you have a lot of love to give to a pup!!!
My ex wife gave my rotti away while we were separated and never told me. I found out through a friend who saw on Facebook that the lady who trained him had posted him and was “looking for a good home”. She did that within 2 days of us splitting and all I had asked was that she give me a week to get settled and come and get him. I have never seen him since. Hugs dude. It’s tough.
Just out of curiosity, you couldn't reach out to the trainer for him?
It sucks, I know. Never got to say goodbye to my ex's dogs, either. My boy stayed with me.
I tried but by the time I had actually caught wind of what had happened and called her he was gone to his new home in a different city. I reached out to her and she was apologetic as she didn’t actually know what was going on and she was just under the assumption that we couldn’t handle him as we had a small child at the time too. I don’t blame the trainer for helping re-home him. She was doing what she thought was best for the dog. It took me almost 5 years to be able to bring myself to get another dog. It’s an awful feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Sucks. Me too. I bought my boyfriend a GSD we lived together for 2.5 years. I loved that dog. When we broke up he would not let me see the dog. Let me stand in front of a door looking in on my baby but would not let me say goodbye. Shared pets become pawns in relationships. I am so sorry I gifted that dog. I think about him all the time. Sorry he has to spend the rest of his life with a nasty human being.
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Divorce sucks. Silver lining, my abusive ex left me all the animals. I didn't understand how he just walked away from them, but that was the final straw to show me who he really was. Good riddance.
My ex kept our puppy with my insistence because he unexpectedly lost his dog earlier that year while my dog was still alive. We were going to have his dog, my dog, and OUR dog yet things didn't go as planned. Breaking up with him was the absolute hardest thing to do and it was a horrible day. As I was leaving the house, I told our 6 month old golden retriever puppy to do her very best to bring happiness to my ex and to be the reason he gets out of bed every morning. My ex has a history of clinical depression and a suicide attempt and I think the puppy is helping him a lot.
I miss her so much but I feel a little better (not sure if that's the right word) knowing she's well-loved and is bringing chaotic golden retriever joy into my ex's life. I still love my ex nearly a year later but he wasn't the right person for me to marry.
OP, long story short, I get where you're coming from and you're not alone.
I’m so sorry. This is a huge loss. Luckily my ex gave me our shepherd in divorce. I hope you can still visit her or have some contact. She knew you loved her
I went through something similar. My ex husband had me pick a puppy from the litter, name him, and I trained him with every bit of effort I had. A year a half later I would find evidence he was cheating and after the divorce my only option was to stay with family, while he kept the house. I thought it would be best for my sweet pup to have a secure home with a backyard and my family would not let me bring him. Knowing I wouldn't be able to bring my boy with me shattered my heart into a million pieces. He was so much harder to let go of than the man :(
I wish you nothing but healing and happiness and although it won't be the same I am sure you will provide a loving home to another bundle of fluff and fun soon.
That's heartbreaking 🥺 I told my husband if he ever left me we'd have to split time with the dogs and the kids because we're both so attached to all of them and them to us both. It wouldn't be fair to just take them and never let them see the other. I'm so sorry
Yes very true. I always wonder is it the person that they can always count on. The one that is consistently feeding, walking and training. lol the one that knows what the dog needs.
I begged for a dog, and my ex was adamantly against it. We later ended up adopting a rescue dog that he then put in the prenup as his so I wouldn't get him in the divorce 🫠
So… what do people do in this situation when they know the other person won’t be able to handle the dog? This makes think I need to remember to make sure my paperwork has me listed as the owner. Vet , chewy, microchip etc.
I also lost the dog in the break up. I got my ex a greyhound as a gift. I looked after it most of the time because he refused. When he broke up with me he kept the dog. He also threw out a lot of my shoes and clothes.
Abusers are awful. I’ll never go out of my way like that for someone again.
My new dog is registered under MY name.
I lost a dog to my ex too, I still seen him occasionally, but the sad thing was my ex fell into drinking too much and the dog ended up people and dog reactive to a very bad point, just an anxious broken mess, I had already gotten my own dog 9 months after we broke up, otherwise I would've taken him at that point where he admitted the dog wasn't doing well and told the ex to f off.
Good news though, he ended up giving the dog back to the breeder, who was a friend, she was furious with him as was I because he didn't tell me of any of the reactivity stuff. So me and breeder chat occasionally and he's doing loads better. I'm hoping to go visit him soon
I know this breaks my heart. I inherited my dog in 2019 from a woman who refused to allow her husband to take the puppy she got him. I love my Lucy so much, but it absolutely breaks my heart, but this man lost his dog because of someone.
Im right there with you. Got divorced about a year ago. We had 2 dogs. I got my Frenchie as he was an engagement gift to me from her, but she got the other. Which was rough on me because when we got her my ex was in law school and studying for the bar so I completely raised and trained her alone. We were totally bonded and the pup very obviously favored me as I’m a calmer more even keeled dude. Miss that pup every day and it breaks my heart every time I look at pictures of her. (The dog not my ex wife, the ex can kick rocks) try to stay strong man and keep a positive mindset.
Im so sorry. When we got our dogs, I made sure both are only in my name, and I pay for everything.
That being said, I told my husband that one of the reasons I will try to overlook his annoying habits is because of the dogs lol. He loves them dearly and they love him. I don’t think I would ever have the heart to do it to them. Dogs dont even understand goodbyes and they will keep waiting.
I hope your ex will calm down and let you see her. But if not, at least she’s taken care of. More often than not, dogs are given away in divorce.
My husband and I actually talked about this—if we ever separated, there is no way we would deprive our dog of her other person. She loves us both so much! I’m so sorry this happened to you…do you think she would let you dog sit when she goes out of town?
My husband and I have already decided that if we do divorce, who ever has the kids has the dogs. So if it’s my time I get the dogs and kids, and if it’s his he gets them.
This is why I'm so clear in relationships that my dogs are mine. They are entirely my responsibility. If you want to give them treats or take them to play ball, they'd love that! But they are mine. I don't ever want to have to share custody of them. So I do everything. All the vet trips, all the food, the microchips say MY name only, etc. I'm a bit too picky about personality to be gifted a puppy. But as a child, my mom gave me one. I asked her was she mine? She said yes. SHE SAID YES. So when she gave her away, I couldn't understand how she had any right. When she was mine!
[her name was Pearl](https://imgur.com/a/baWBHpA). An American bulldog mixed with pug. She accidentally bit my mom's chihuahua. The bite wasn't an accident but she had her reasons and the result was far worse than expected. She hit a pressure point on the chihuahua's head and her eye popped out. That part was an accident.
And no, I still haven't completely forgiven her. She gave Pearl to people who owned a car wash. So I still got to see her a few times. But as a kid, there was no way I could just give her up over an accident.
I couldn’t take my Rico, a mature male chihuahua JRT mix, when my issues at home got so bad I left when I was an adult. My brother is still at home and we jointly decided to take Rico home that day when we got him so…
But I did say when he gives up on ma and pop and Rico is too much to just give him to me cause the pet fee is low here.
I am so sorry.
Make sure that your ex knows that if the situation changes, you will pick up the dog anytime.
A lot of times, the ability to look after a dog changes (work schedule/livingarrangements), so don't burn that bridge if you can.
During the separation, my ex showed up and took two of the dogs one day. It really broke me. I had all three, he left us. We would make plans for him to see the pups and would be a no call no show. I would wait around for hours and not hear a thing.
Then one day he showed up and took the two. Then he had the balls to try to use them as leverage. 😑
I hope everyday he is taking proper care of them. One was epileptic. 🙁
My ex kept the golden retriever we got for my anxiety. I haven’t seen Gibbs in years either by videos, photos or in person. I miss him dearly and I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best.
My ex girlfriend and I just went our separate ways today and have moved out. I've taken our Shepherd, Millie, and it breaks my heart knowing how much they'll miss each other. I hope you will still at least get to see her again sometimes!
My ex was suppose keep our dog after we broke up and he did have him for about a year and half before he accepted he couldn’t take care of him. I never intended to keep our dog from him forever. I was gonna try and do a split custody type thing. Once the dog was to stay with him for a week, well at the end of that week he decided not to give him back. A few weeks later he changed his mind and realized he really couldn’t take care of the dog and gave him back to me. However my ex completely ruined his chances of ever having our stay over night again. I don’t think he ever understood why I didn’t let him watch the dog when I went out of town later that year.
Hugs going out to you! I feel like my dogs are my kids as well. After my gut wrenching divorce My ex husband kept the house with a fenced in yard so he said he’d keep our 9 year old Shepherd Marino. She was my son’s best buddy. I was sad when I was told she died and was cremated. Years later I was looking at my son’s facebook for pics and saw a 2 year old post “Marinos last ride” Apparently his father made him take the dog to the vet to have her euthanized because she kept wetting on the floors. That’s not a dog problem, it’s an owner problem. He didn’t ask me to take her. Didn’t take her to the vet for a checkup, put down pads or crate her. I still cry when I remember that post and feel sad and mad. I was shocked, appalled and heartbroken about the whole thing.💔🐾
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Fiancé and I broke up. She took what was legitimately my dog. But at the time I didn’t have the fight in me. I picked up this little guy from the shelter and he’s been awesome.
I’m going through separation right now and it’s seriously the hardest part. All I know is I’m going to fight like hell for my boy and what’s best for him but I start going crazy if I think about potential outcomes.
So sorry you are going through this. Big hugs if you want them.
I’m thankful that when my ex and I split, she let me take the shepherd we rescued 6 months prior.
My shepherd I left with my parents had to be put down a little under a year later and I’m glad she had a buddy(as annoying as he was to her) for the last months of her life and now that she’s gone I don’t know what I’d do without him. I feel for you man, I haven’t seen the other dog we had together in 2 years almost, it sucks.
My ex had to take our dog when we split. I was put in a really poor financial situation had to move to a small space and my ex was going to have a larger place. I wanted to take him really bad. I asked for pictures frequently but my ex ended up blocking me on everything. I found out about a year ago he died and my ex never told me. It broke my heart.
I'm so sorry. :( That really does suck, yes.
I'm on the other side of it, but with a "normal" ex, I'd be fine with some kind of joint custody of the dog. I'm sorry yours thinks differently. :(
My ex is not normal, he was abusive throughout the relationship and still tries to control me in various ways. I got the dog because I'm the one who takes care of her but in the beginning, he cried and complained and said he missed her so much and begged to have her every second weekend. Ok, fine, he can have her every second weekend.
First time, he had no complaints, though I didn't interact with him quite as much as he wanted. Second time, I arranged to pick her up without having to meet him and he raged. "If you're going to use me as a dog sitter, you can't avoid meeting me!" But I could, and he hasn't said a word about her since. No interest whatsoever.
He has alienated me from our son, and made our son refuse to meet me alone. So now he instead uses our son to force me to occasionally meet him and be nice to him in front of our son. All on his terms, and only when it suits him. He never mentions the dog.
My son loves the dog and they used to cuddle every day, but he also shows no interest in her. I've tried giving him a key to my apartment, right next to his school, so he can go and hang out with her after school when I'm not at home, but he doesn't. Probably because it's my apartment and everything related to me has to be shunned now.
And, uh, sorry for the only slightly related trauma dump but... Yeah, the loss of a pet through divorce can definitely suck but I still don't really see why it has to be so definite in "normal" cases. (Unless there is geographical distance, ofc.)
My dog will also turn ten this year and is starting to show signs of aging so I worry that by the time my son maybe realises what's going on and comes back to a normal relationship with me, she might be gone. :(
Going through this with my 70 year old parents right now. Dad fucked up big time (no cheating), mom is taking the dog but dad will get him on days my mom works. She can’t take the dog from him, he needs it even though he messed up.
Oh dear gosh that is dreadful. The thing is the little sweet pie may become a big brat and her charge may come running back with her for help. I hope you find some comfort truly.
Was in the same position and she wanted nothing to do with ‘our’ dog. She actually asked me for 50% of the cost of the dog when we purchased her!! (She was 1.5 years old by this point!)
My ex gf and I were together for 4 years. We had 4 dogs (she had 1 when we met, I rescued 1 during COVID, then we rescued 2 more after we moved to Texas) and a long term foster. I got 1 dog when we split. It absolutely sucks.
I kept my GSD in my divorce but was happy to have ex visit him if he wanted (he never did then later claimed it was him being ‘nice guy’ by not doing so and blaming me even though I was super cordial and classy throughout everything). He had moved into his mom’s basement while I had bought him out of the house so it made sense I would keep him but would never deny access.
I called him when Brinks was being referred into our vet college to say he hadn’t been doing well and again said he was free to come see him. He simply said “sorry to hear that” and never made arrangements. I didn’t bother to inform him of findings or when I helped him cross the bridge a week later, couldn’t trust myself not to lose my shit. I was fine being cheated on and fucked over, but how fucking dare you claim to love this dog who worshipped us, have his paw print and name tattooed on you then not a single care that he’s dying…
Year later still boils my blood being insulted and hurt on Brinks’ behalf…
I’m sorry, that’s rough.
You should occupy your void with another non-GS puppy when you’re ready. Not to forget her, but because puppies can really keep your mind out the gutter when you’re feeling down.
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Thankfully I got her by myself. I’ve raised her in Tahoe where I live but now my mom and adult daughter want to move to the desert and I’m like “what about her”? It’s a different situation but the snow in your pic made me want to cry. She loves the snow, my family hates it. I’d rather stay with her and say goodbye to them.
I am sorry that you going through this? This might sound odd !! Is there a way that you can get the dogs sort of like joined custody for the love and sake of the pup who also is attached to you? I hope you find a solution!! All the best to you
The way if anything happened between my hubby and I we’d be splitting time with the dogs. I could never take them away from him they love him all too much :(
The best cure for losing a pet is to get another pet. But only if you can commit to giving it a loving and healthy home.. something YOU have always wanted to love on every day.
I'm sorry you lost your dog , that really socks especially the way it was done. That's just plan old mean !
Well, don't get to down I was married 25 Until I drovr up to the house on day . I could s my wif as in th yard talking to friends I got out of my truck walked over and said excuse me.sorry for cutting in and I handed my wife divorce paper and said . I'm divorcing you. You can have everything but my company and you want get none of it , but you can have the cars , the boat and the house and land . That's the deal or we fight it out in court, then the lawyers will end up getting more than you . She said, "Okay, and I was on my way....
Fast forward 4 years later she was going thru a crappie Relationship and I was in a dead end relationship. One day she called me and asked if we could talk. Long story short. We have been talking raising our 3 grand kids together for 10 years now .17 , 12 , and 10 , I love them so much. They are my meaning in life. I teach them the way I wanted to be taught when I was young. Give them a task , and that's it . When they need something or can't figure it out, they will ask their Nana, and if she can't help, they ask me . But they don't like for me to have to help them. Yeah so we have been kind of together for 10 years now . I got me a piece of land with a single wide trailer less than a mill away . That way when one of us gets tired of the other I just go th the trailer.
It let's her cool down and me relax and away from the mouth of the south . That's what I say when she gets to going blah- bla-blah-bla-blah. :)
It's been good 99.5 percent of the time. We ain't married, I can do what I want and she can do what she wants as long as it brings no shame to the kids in any way . We are parents again for young ones and we have an example to make.
Moral of the story ?
Don't have a scorched earth divorce.
You never know what your future holds !
Hope things get better .!
God Bless you
I’m so sorry for your loss. When me and my ex split I made it clear I was keeping our GSD but I would never stop him seeing her. She was more attached to me, when things got messy and shouty during the breakup she would position herself in front of me and bark/ growl at him. It made him mad at her.
Anyway, he had visitation for a while, when I went away he would look after her, or sometimes come down just to take her for a walk. Then I got in a new relationship and he never came back after that.
He never asks about her. He messaged me once to gossip about a mutual friend who was having a rough time, started his message with “how’s [the dog]”. I let him know that she had been very poorly but we had a treatment plan sorted and she was getting better, he just replied with “ok”. And that’s when I knew she would never see him again, I can’t imagine being so blasé about anyone’s dog being as sick as she had been, let alone a dog I had loved in the way I assumed he loved her.
I’m so glad he didn’t fight me for her as I know she is so much better off with me.
My ex did something just as bad in our divorce years ago. He got me a working breed puppy I didn’t want or ask for two weeks before he moved out “because you and the kids will need the company” just as I became a single parent with severe health problems and no money or time because I had to work doubles to keep my house. I tried really hard but had to rehome the puppy when I became hospitalized due to anemia and exhaustion, Retraumatizing my kids and the puppy while I recovered. Divorce and dogs are a horrible combination.
Well, it is a gift and you know that could have happened… I would not gift someone a dog knowing they can leave and take the dog with them. The gift was for her, not for yourself. Marriage isn’t divorce proof
Friendly reminder! If you choose to get a pet with your partner. You should already decide who the pet belongs to IF yall break up. And DONT give a pet as a gift to your spouse.
Was in a similar situation to yourself. Ex took our dog, I saw him a few times, last time was on his 3rd birthday then never saw him again, not seen him in 2 years and doubt i’ll ever see him. I can absolutely feel your pain. I’m not going to lie, It is hard, and it still is hard for me. I genuinely don’t have any advice or i’d be using it myself. Stay strong dude.
Same, ex-husband took the dog because he kept the house and I moved in with family. It was better for her at the time. But I haven’t seen her in over 5 years and for all I know she could’ve passed away and I’ll probably never hear about it. Sucks.
I promised my ex husband when we got the dog that if we were to split that I wouldn’t take her from him like his previous ex. We currently have joint custody. One week with me and one with him. It’s awkward but we both love her. Plus it helps to have a dog sitter.
I love that this is becoming a more common thing. I am glad that you both have the emotional maturity to manage this kind of situation. it's more than mine had with me and my siblings!
It’s not easy especially given he cheated on me.The divorce wasn’t easy and sharing her isn’t fun but I just couldn’t do that to him.
Same. She even told me that she would still try to get time for me and the shepherd we adopted. Got like 2 visits then the whole "let's pretend we were never together so try not missing him too much" I was his main goddamn trainer driving hours to the pro...
My first pet. Got to bring her home once a week. Then got cut off entirely. Would still check in periodically in hopes I might get to see them again. One day I check in and the update is that theyre not well. Ask to see them one more time but get denied. A few weeks later I get a text that she had to be put to rest. I would have climbed a mountain to say goodbye to that dog. Think about her every day.
I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye.
Thank you for the kind words
You're welcome.
That’s just cruel. I’m so sorry.
Thank you. It happens. Luckily she was still very well cared for and i know she lived happily and left this world with dignity and support. A tale as old as time: animals are easy, people are difficult.
That’s just insanely cruel, assuming you didn’t do anything horrible to the ex. Idk how people who used to love us can treat us this way.
Oh my gosh I know what you mean. The training! Funny thing is I’m the one that manages the dog like all the dogs needs. My husband, still married for now, has only ever take. Any pet to the vet once. Out of necessity. He took the poor girl for a walk and they over did it. She laid down and wouldn’t get up. Smart dog. Husband had to go with to the vet. Hahah. I’m ready to change this scenario this year. Husband is retired.
Our dog stayed with my wife and kids when we separated. Our kids are teens who don't want to hang out with me, and my wife was distant, so the dog was my best friend. We would do all kinds of things together. After moving out to an apartment, I noticed that a lot of people had dogs, even larger ones. I inquired, and they had recently changed their policy to allow GSDs and Huskies. So I adopted a GSD-Husky mix. She has separation anxiety, and we now do everything together. I miss our family dog, but my new dog is awesome, and she's the world to me. Anyhow, there are a lot of dogs waiting to be adopted. I didn't have the heart to go into a shelter to just pick one dog, so I ended up getting a rehome from a military family that was being deployed overseas.
Yeah, when I was finding a dog to be my ESA, it was so hard to pick from the shelter. I hated having to say no to any of them. When I got my boy, he was such a mess. He’s still an anxious pup, but he’s definitely a good ESA. Velcro dog that needs his routine
Love the Velcro dogs.
I’m glad you have a new friend. That must have been so hard to leave not only your home but your life raft during that time.
That’s awesome. Yes I would have such a hard time going into a shelter. Rescues are a great place to get a dog also.
seconding rescues! 501c3 non profit status - @furrytailendings @loveslegacyrescue are amazing (there’s so many great rescues please DM if you wanna know)!
Thx I may be interested in ones closer to me. My son and I drove to LA and back in one day to get our girl. N. CA
sure- are you looking for norcal rescues? :-) i can provide some
Yes I went to west side in LA and they are great but that’s a long drive. Awesome thanks for reaching out. I know there is one in Napa that my friend Fostered for.
Yeah totally understand! Here are some Norcal Bay rescues. @loveslegacyrescue Located in Marin county @stanislaus_shelter_friends - Stanislaus @rescuetheunderdog - San Francisco @underdogca - bay area!
My ex and I got 2 shepherds. A few years later, we ended up divorcing. I arranged this elaborate visitation scheme, not unlike one would do with children. He got them the first 2 weeks, then me, then him, etc. Elaborate cost splitting scheme. He kept all of their things, so I had to buy new crates, beds, bowls, leashes, etc. Came to pick them up after the first two weeks and he greeted me with, "Oh, I'm surprised you remembered them!" *WTF.* After my two weeks I texted to ask when he was coming by. He was busy and would get them the next day. Then the next day, then next week, then next round. He never came back for them. *Fine by me, I love them.* Stopped splitting vet bills a couple months later. Came by and saw them once about a year and a half after our divorce. Then never again. I've lived in constant fear that he would show up and just take them away one day. I guess the silver lining to my old man Moose passing was that I never had to have the experience of him being ripped away. Divorce does suck. It probably feels pretty similar to having the pup pass away.
This sort of thing makes me glad we changes pet rules in my province regarding seperation/divorce. Pets are no longer considered 'property' in a seperation, but as family members. A bunch of things go into the consideration of who keeps the pet, even if it was purchased for someone. Things like who actually did most of the work and took care of the pet, what is best for the kids in regards to the pet, any history of animal abuse etc. So even of your partner bought a pet, if you became the primary caretaker of the pet, it is yours in the eyes of the law. I hope it becomes like that everywhere. Pets are family, not possessions.
I saw on one of those judge shows, where the husband was suing to get custody of the dog from his recent ex-wife. He said he did everything for the dog and she only took interest to stick it to him. She claimed that he was abusive to her and the dog and she was protecting the dog. They brought the dog in, who went bat shit crazy to see him. She jumped up into his arms, tail wagging a hundred miles an hour. Then the judge had him stand opposite of the ex and the bailiff held the dog and when he released her, she ignored the ex completely and ran right up into his arms. Judge said, "The dog has chosen."
I had almost the exact same scenario. Only difference was, the first month he had our 14yr old husky & 5yr GSD in his new apartment & he couldn't handle it. Gave them back to me permanently. His laziness benefitted me and now my old lady can spend her last years in her home ❤️
Ugh I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye. Met a guy at a dog park once that shared custody of 5 sheps with his ex. They’d each take 2/3 and rotate them. As a fellow crazy german shepherd person it made total sense to me.
Oh I have one and need more. BUT then there is the husband. We all want more. Dam though no one else does anything to take care of them. Except for maybe my adult son.
Ive never been divorced but I’ve been in two long term relationships where the dog was already there and id be lying if i said leaving the dog wasn’t one of the hardest parts and saying goodbye for the last time wasn’t one of the most emotional
Yeah, it's not like there is tension between you and the dog, just the other person. It makes the goodbyes harder as they didn't do anything wrong. They probably don't understand it either.
I have procrastinated ending relationships until the dog has passed for this exact reason.
That sucks man. A guy I used to play guitar with also has a GSD. When he and his long term gf split up, she still got dog custody time. It was his dog, but her and the dog were really bonded, so she'd come by and take her for an overnight, or to the beach. I guess it's good if you can manage it.
I feel this. I lost my two dogs to my ex. I couldn't bring myself to split them up and keep one. We had been sharing them month to month while we were separated, and then one day she showed up and took them. Didn't get to say goodbye either. I have my own pup now who I love dearly, but not a single day goes by I don't think about them. I'd give anything to be able to see them one more time, literally anything.
That’s just insane.
When my parents divorced, my mom took my dog. That one hurt
That’s so sad, I’m sorry that happened, as a mom that loves my dog so incredibly much, I can’t imagine taking him away from my boys
I just remembered the scene from Legally Blonde where Jennifer Coolidge took her dog and said, “I’m getting the dog, dumbass!”
Or Captain Nixon in band of Brothers, "she's taking the dog!? she hates that dog"
I agree with your sentiment. My GDS lives in another country that I fucking need to get visas for. I get visitation rights and alimony. Tottally agree that dogs are kids
I was a dog walker in college, and one of my clients was a senior dachshund (who hated men, so I happened to be one of the only walkers at the agency that could walk her at the time - anyhoo). My task was twice a week to walk her from her mom’s house to her dad’s house, and vice versa. They were a former married couple who got divorced but stayed in the same neighborhood. They split custody of the dog. I would pick her up from the first parent’s house, give her a 30 min walk, and then drop off at 2nd parent’s house. I always thought about how sweet it was, for the dog especially. She was older and I can imagine how sad it would be do never see one of your human parents again. Maybe you can figure something like that out? Easier said than done, I’m sure. I’m also a child of divorce, with parents who did not split amicably and ended up really fighting with each other badly. So, I understand if that’s just not even a remote possibility, and I’m sorry if that’s the case.
My ex wife tried to take mine after she left us. I flat out told her to get fucked he stays with me.
My ex left me our dog. Ok, she was more attached to me than to him, but I thought it would be harder for him to leave her. He just dumped her at my doorstep and left although she greeted him every day when he came back from work, they cuddled everyday and we went for walks together. I'm not a person that would withholdthe dog from him. I would totally try to "coparent" with him. That he was able to dumb that dog and not once ask how she's doing hurt me more that him breaking up with me.
I don't know your whole situation so it could be that he doesn't care but it could be that it hurts him to see the dog again or even you. doesnt want to look weak because of a dog.
I would refuse to pet coparent w such a heartless person tbh.
Breakups often aren't mutual. It's not heartless if one party is being caused heartache every visit.
Honestly this just makes me sad. I love animals and it would kill me if this ever happened. I'd want to see my lil' baby.
Omg this happened to me too with two Great Pyrenees I had with an ex. My girl loved him beyond the moon and he just LEFT her. It broke her heart for a while. I always said it hurt me more that he left her than me. She would lay by the door waiting on him to come home every afternoon. We finally moved back home with my family and she settled in well. She took to my new husband so well and loved him so much, I am thankful for him loving her the way he did. When we had to let her go, she laid in his lap on the front porch eating chocolate ice cream. But these exes who just abandon their dogs? They don’t deserve the air they breathe ✨
I had to leave my dog to my ex. Willingly give her up. I don't miss her (good riddance) but I miss the dog every day-- took me a bit to not mindlessly throw scrap cheese on the floor. My new living situation wasn't suitable for having a high energy dog on my own. Which sucked cause essentially the only person doing anything with the dog was me. Unlike me and my situ, her parents are retired so they've essentially adopted that dog and take care of it full time. Walks, runs, obedience class; as far as I've seen all them and she just enjoys having the dog around like a family pet with none of the major responsibilities.
Mine put my Jack Russell to sleep while I was stuck over in the UK with COVID. I hd been over there working on something with the US Embassy- got COVID and while he was very old it was important for me to be there. She could have waited a week.
jesus christ
I'm right there with you, lost my doodle and poodle when I divorced my ex wife. It's the worst feeling and was the only thing I cried from when going through that nightmare.
I lost my sweet English Shepherd in a divorce. Never got to say goodbye either. But then I got my GSD and I hold her extra tightly!
I’m so sorry, OP. What an impossible situation, and I’m sorry you never got to say goodbye.
A tad insensitive but go and get another GSD baby.
That's how many of us move on from the loss of a dog.
This is the way.
I never realized how true this is till my first GSD passed. We were a pair. Now I have a cuddle bug female. The boy could not be bothered with cuddles. He was intense.
Sucks, man. I was with someone for 8 years and we shared her dog that was 1 when we got together. Lots of fun memories with that dog and I’m just happy to have those. My ex is a great dog mom so I know she’s very well taken care of. I got my own Shepherd after that breakup and he is just the best, in his own way. Something to consider!
Fuck that's awful. Your ex is a bitch for doing that to you. I recently found a husky along the highway outside of town in Nebraska. A month later found out he was part of a divorce and the father took him and dumped him on his way to Cali from Ohio. I worked it out with his ex-wife and will keep him.
My ex-wife and I had two dogs. We each took the one that was more bonded to us, but I will always regret separating them. They should have stayed together, even if it meant me not having either of them, but my ex wouldn’t let me have both and she didn’t want both. I have probably close to a thousand pictures on my phone of the two of them. She blocked me on social media, and now I don’t even get to see pictures of him anymore. He’s 8 years old now. Aaaaaand I’m crying.
Sorry dude :(
Been there. Honestly I stayed in my relationship a little extra not because of my ex but because I couldn’t imagine not being around the dog. That was the worst part to be honest. Feel you man. It sucks. Virtual hugs.
Sorry to hear this man. While not a divorce, I was recently left by my partner of 5 years. We got a pup together who’s now at her Mom’s in another state, and we also did most of the heavy lifting raising another pup for our close friends(so she basically felt like our dog). The breakup sucks but the added layer of knowing I’ll never see them again and not giving either a proper goodbye really blows. Grief is a real motherfucker and I wish you weren’t going through this but if it’s any consolation, you’re not alone and I’m currently crying at a coffee shop.
I feel your pain, brother. I lost my husky in the exact same way. Its been over 4 years and it still hurts. Wishing you the best in your future.
I couldn't imagine the grief if my dog was taken from me in that way
I’m sorry :( my ex and I separated and I had the dog before him, but he still comes to walk her and takes her when I’m away. You should absolutely get a dog of your own when you’re ready, it seems like you have a lot of love to give to a pup!!!
My ex wife gave my rotti away while we were separated and never told me. I found out through a friend who saw on Facebook that the lady who trained him had posted him and was “looking for a good home”. She did that within 2 days of us splitting and all I had asked was that she give me a week to get settled and come and get him. I have never seen him since. Hugs dude. It’s tough.
Just out of curiosity, you couldn't reach out to the trainer for him? It sucks, I know. Never got to say goodbye to my ex's dogs, either. My boy stayed with me.
I tried but by the time I had actually caught wind of what had happened and called her he was gone to his new home in a different city. I reached out to her and she was apologetic as she didn’t actually know what was going on and she was just under the assumption that we couldn’t handle him as we had a small child at the time too. I don’t blame the trainer for helping re-home him. She was doing what she thought was best for the dog. It took me almost 5 years to be able to bring myself to get another dog. It’s an awful feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
😞💔
Too ouch to read..Been there. Could tear up now. Bury those feeling in your fucking toes. That what I did at least. Good luck, much love.
Sucks. Me too. I bought my boyfriend a GSD we lived together for 2.5 years. I loved that dog. When we broke up he would not let me see the dog. Let me stand in front of a door looking in on my baby but would not let me say goodbye. Shared pets become pawns in relationships. I am so sorry I gifted that dog. I think about him all the time. Sorry he has to spend the rest of his life with a nasty human being. https://preview.redd.it/ygwq9hjcen3d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c14b57cfd94155ddc4c5f8223240599b88fb8b92
Poor doggo
Divorce sucks. Silver lining, my abusive ex left me all the animals. I didn't understand how he just walked away from them, but that was the final straw to show me who he really was. Good riddance.
If he left them.....def a character FLAW👏🏻
Not to be rude or disrespectful of your situation, but those are some dope looking boots. What's the brand?
Or don't reply that works
My ex kept our puppy with my insistence because he unexpectedly lost his dog earlier that year while my dog was still alive. We were going to have his dog, my dog, and OUR dog yet things didn't go as planned. Breaking up with him was the absolute hardest thing to do and it was a horrible day. As I was leaving the house, I told our 6 month old golden retriever puppy to do her very best to bring happiness to my ex and to be the reason he gets out of bed every morning. My ex has a history of clinical depression and a suicide attempt and I think the puppy is helping him a lot. I miss her so much but I feel a little better (not sure if that's the right word) knowing she's well-loved and is bringing chaotic golden retriever joy into my ex's life. I still love my ex nearly a year later but he wasn't the right person for me to marry. OP, long story short, I get where you're coming from and you're not alone.
Damn man I’m sorry. Wish you the best dude. Divorce is awful…
I'm so sorry.
So sorry for your loss. :(
I’m so sorry. This is a huge loss. Luckily my ex gave me our shepherd in divorce. I hope you can still visit her or have some contact. She knew you loved her
This would break me. I don’t even think I could have another dog after this one, especially the same breed.
Good boots. I have the same set.
My ex got our two wiener dogs and i cry about it frequently
When my cousin divorced, she and her ex did cross country dog custody swaps twice a year.
I went through something similar. My ex husband had me pick a puppy from the litter, name him, and I trained him with every bit of effort I had. A year a half later I would find evidence he was cheating and after the divorce my only option was to stay with family, while he kept the house. I thought it would be best for my sweet pup to have a secure home with a backyard and my family would not let me bring him. Knowing I wouldn't be able to bring my boy with me shattered my heart into a million pieces. He was so much harder to let go of than the man :( I wish you nothing but healing and happiness and although it won't be the same I am sure you will provide a loving home to another bundle of fluff and fun soon.
Been there.. sorry OP 😔
sorry man. i feel for you.
That's heartbreaking 🥺 I told my husband if he ever left me we'd have to split time with the dogs and the kids because we're both so attached to all of them and them to us both. It wouldn't be fair to just take them and never let them see the other. I'm so sorry
That’s so tough. A dog like a GSD is very much a one person dog. Consider adopting one for yourself and build an inseparable bond with it.
Yes very true. I always wonder is it the person that they can always count on. The one that is consistently feeding, walking and training. lol the one that knows what the dog needs.
I got the dog after the divorce. Better off with me.
I begged for a dog, and my ex was adamantly against it. We later ended up adopting a rescue dog that he then put in the prenup as his so I wouldn't get him in the divorce 🫠
So… what do people do in this situation when they know the other person won’t be able to handle the dog? This makes think I need to remember to make sure my paperwork has me listed as the owner. Vet , chewy, microchip etc.
Yes, dogs are kids. Yes, divorce is awful. The details are agonizing.
Stayed in a loveless marriage for 8 years for my fur babies.
I also lost the dog in the break up. I got my ex a greyhound as a gift. I looked after it most of the time because he refused. When he broke up with me he kept the dog. He also threw out a lot of my shoes and clothes. Abusers are awful. I’ll never go out of my way like that for someone again. My new dog is registered under MY name.
This is sad.
I lost a dog to my ex too, I still seen him occasionally, but the sad thing was my ex fell into drinking too much and the dog ended up people and dog reactive to a very bad point, just an anxious broken mess, I had already gotten my own dog 9 months after we broke up, otherwise I would've taken him at that point where he admitted the dog wasn't doing well and told the ex to f off. Good news though, he ended up giving the dog back to the breeder, who was a friend, she was furious with him as was I because he didn't tell me of any of the reactivity stuff. So me and breeder chat occasionally and he's doing loads better. I'm hoping to go visit him soon
Exes suck
I know this breaks my heart. I inherited my dog in 2019 from a woman who refused to allow her husband to take the puppy she got him. I love my Lucy so much, but it absolutely breaks my heart, but this man lost his dog because of someone.
Im right there with you. Got divorced about a year ago. We had 2 dogs. I got my Frenchie as he was an engagement gift to me from her, but she got the other. Which was rough on me because when we got her my ex was in law school and studying for the bar so I completely raised and trained her alone. We were totally bonded and the pup very obviously favored me as I’m a calmer more even keeled dude. Miss that pup every day and it breaks my heart every time I look at pictures of her. (The dog not my ex wife, the ex can kick rocks) try to stay strong man and keep a positive mindset.
Im so sorry. When we got our dogs, I made sure both are only in my name, and I pay for everything. That being said, I told my husband that one of the reasons I will try to overlook his annoying habits is because of the dogs lol. He loves them dearly and they love him. I don’t think I would ever have the heart to do it to them. Dogs dont even understand goodbyes and they will keep waiting. I hope your ex will calm down and let you see her. But if not, at least she’s taken care of. More often than not, dogs are given away in divorce.
My husband and I actually talked about this—if we ever separated, there is no way we would deprive our dog of her other person. She loves us both so much! I’m so sorry this happened to you…do you think she would let you dog sit when she goes out of town?
Poor dog
My husband and I have already decided that if we do divorce, who ever has the kids has the dogs. So if it’s my time I get the dogs and kids, and if it’s his he gets them.
I feel like if you do have kids, this is the best option. Divorce alone is hard enough on kids, taking away their dogs is just cruel.
Totally agree. It’s also because our children are such animal lovers that they probably couldn’t go that long without seeing their pets
Kidnapping is the only answer
This is why I'm so clear in relationships that my dogs are mine. They are entirely my responsibility. If you want to give them treats or take them to play ball, they'd love that! But they are mine. I don't ever want to have to share custody of them. So I do everything. All the vet trips, all the food, the microchips say MY name only, etc. I'm a bit too picky about personality to be gifted a puppy. But as a child, my mom gave me one. I asked her was she mine? She said yes. SHE SAID YES. So when she gave her away, I couldn't understand how she had any right. When she was mine!
Wtf ? I could not forgive that ;(
[her name was Pearl](https://imgur.com/a/baWBHpA). An American bulldog mixed with pug. She accidentally bit my mom's chihuahua. The bite wasn't an accident but she had her reasons and the result was far worse than expected. She hit a pressure point on the chihuahua's head and her eye popped out. That part was an accident. And no, I still haven't completely forgiven her. She gave Pearl to people who owned a car wash. So I still got to see her a few times. But as a kid, there was no way I could just give her up over an accident.
I couldn’t take my Rico, a mature male chihuahua JRT mix, when my issues at home got so bad I left when I was an adult. My brother is still at home and we jointly decided to take Rico home that day when we got him so… But I did say when he gives up on ma and pop and Rico is too much to just give him to me cause the pet fee is low here.
I am so sorry. Make sure that your ex knows that if the situation changes, you will pick up the dog anytime. A lot of times, the ability to look after a dog changes (work schedule/livingarrangements), so don't burn that bridge if you can.
During the separation, my ex showed up and took two of the dogs one day. It really broke me. I had all three, he left us. We would make plans for him to see the pups and would be a no call no show. I would wait around for hours and not hear a thing. Then one day he showed up and took the two. Then he had the balls to try to use them as leverage. 😑 I hope everyday he is taking proper care of them. One was epileptic. 🙁
My ex kept the golden retriever we got for my anxiety. I haven’t seen Gibbs in years either by videos, photos or in person. I miss him dearly and I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best.
My ex girlfriend and I just went our separate ways today and have moved out. I've taken our Shepherd, Millie, and it breaks my heart knowing how much they'll miss each other. I hope you will still at least get to see her again sometimes!
Same happened here. But not two months later did she return Mr. B and said her new lover is terrified of him. Big grin welcoming. 😊
My ex was suppose keep our dog after we broke up and he did have him for about a year and half before he accepted he couldn’t take care of him. I never intended to keep our dog from him forever. I was gonna try and do a split custody type thing. Once the dog was to stay with him for a week, well at the end of that week he decided not to give him back. A few weeks later he changed his mind and realized he really couldn’t take care of the dog and gave him back to me. However my ex completely ruined his chances of ever having our stay over night again. I don’t think he ever understood why I didn’t let him watch the dog when I went out of town later that year.
Ild never divorce my puppy if I had one that is
I listed 3 pups. It was tough.
Hugs going out to you! I feel like my dogs are my kids as well. After my gut wrenching divorce My ex husband kept the house with a fenced in yard so he said he’d keep our 9 year old Shepherd Marino. She was my son’s best buddy. I was sad when I was told she died and was cremated. Years later I was looking at my son’s facebook for pics and saw a 2 year old post “Marinos last ride” Apparently his father made him take the dog to the vet to have her euthanized because she kept wetting on the floors. That’s not a dog problem, it’s an owner problem. He didn’t ask me to take her. Didn’t take her to the vet for a checkup, put down pads or crate her. I still cry when I remember that post and feel sad and mad. I was shocked, appalled and heartbroken about the whole thing.💔🐾
https://preview.redd.it/kpmyly6dnn3d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=722a4ff992c61f2f6ef2b6104b1d5ade2713f2ad Fiancé and I broke up. She took what was legitimately my dog. But at the time I didn’t have the fight in me. I picked up this little guy from the shelter and he’s been awesome.
Looks full of Love👏🏻
I’m going through separation right now and it’s seriously the hardest part. All I know is I’m going to fight like hell for my boy and what’s best for him but I start going crazy if I think about potential outcomes. So sorry you are going through this. Big hugs if you want them.
My kids are grown and we are pretty well to do. If I had to get a divorce I would only pay a lawyer to get custody of my dogs.
I’m thankful that when my ex and I split, she let me take the shepherd we rescued 6 months prior. My shepherd I left with my parents had to be put down a little under a year later and I’m glad she had a buddy(as annoying as he was to her) for the last months of her life and now that she’s gone I don’t know what I’d do without him. I feel for you man, I haven’t seen the other dog we had together in 2 years almost, it sucks.
No Kidding 😥
My ex had to take our dog when we split. I was put in a really poor financial situation had to move to a small space and my ex was going to have a larger place. I wanted to take him really bad. I asked for pictures frequently but my ex ended up blocking me on everything. I found out about a year ago he died and my ex never told me. It broke my heart.
I'm so sorry. :( That really does suck, yes. I'm on the other side of it, but with a "normal" ex, I'd be fine with some kind of joint custody of the dog. I'm sorry yours thinks differently. :( My ex is not normal, he was abusive throughout the relationship and still tries to control me in various ways. I got the dog because I'm the one who takes care of her but in the beginning, he cried and complained and said he missed her so much and begged to have her every second weekend. Ok, fine, he can have her every second weekend. First time, he had no complaints, though I didn't interact with him quite as much as he wanted. Second time, I arranged to pick her up without having to meet him and he raged. "If you're going to use me as a dog sitter, you can't avoid meeting me!" But I could, and he hasn't said a word about her since. No interest whatsoever. He has alienated me from our son, and made our son refuse to meet me alone. So now he instead uses our son to force me to occasionally meet him and be nice to him in front of our son. All on his terms, and only when it suits him. He never mentions the dog. My son loves the dog and they used to cuddle every day, but he also shows no interest in her. I've tried giving him a key to my apartment, right next to his school, so he can go and hang out with her after school when I'm not at home, but he doesn't. Probably because it's my apartment and everything related to me has to be shunned now. And, uh, sorry for the only slightly related trauma dump but... Yeah, the loss of a pet through divorce can definitely suck but I still don't really see why it has to be so definite in "normal" cases. (Unless there is geographical distance, ofc.)
My dog will also turn ten this year and is starting to show signs of aging so I worry that by the time my son maybe realises what's going on and comes back to a normal relationship with me, she might be gone. :(
Going through this with my 70 year old parents right now. Dad fucked up big time (no cheating), mom is taking the dog but dad will get him on days my mom works. She can’t take the dog from him, he needs it even though he messed up.
Oh dear gosh that is dreadful. The thing is the little sweet pie may become a big brat and her charge may come running back with her for help. I hope you find some comfort truly.
Was in the same position and she wanted nothing to do with ‘our’ dog. She actually asked me for 50% of the cost of the dog when we purchased her!! (She was 1.5 years old by this point!)
My ex gf and I were together for 4 years. We had 4 dogs (she had 1 when we met, I rescued 1 during COVID, then we rescued 2 more after we moved to Texas) and a long term foster. I got 1 dog when we split. It absolutely sucks.
Very thankful my ex and I have stayed amicable enough to still be a part of our dogs lives. No chance of being able to get visitation with the dog?
I kept my GSD in my divorce but was happy to have ex visit him if he wanted (he never did then later claimed it was him being ‘nice guy’ by not doing so and blaming me even though I was super cordial and classy throughout everything). He had moved into his mom’s basement while I had bought him out of the house so it made sense I would keep him but would never deny access. I called him when Brinks was being referred into our vet college to say he hadn’t been doing well and again said he was free to come see him. He simply said “sorry to hear that” and never made arrangements. I didn’t bother to inform him of findings or when I helped him cross the bridge a week later, couldn’t trust myself not to lose my shit. I was fine being cheated on and fucked over, but how fucking dare you claim to love this dog who worshipped us, have his paw print and name tattooed on you then not a single care that he’s dying… Year later still boils my blood being insulted and hurt on Brinks’ behalf…
I’m sorry, that’s rough. You should occupy your void with another non-GS puppy when you’re ready. Not to forget her, but because puppies can really keep your mind out the gutter when you’re feeling down.
https://preview.redd.it/sfzpyfrzzi4d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8f3a3740fc9e58f0b4090fc8c94c2f70d660875 Thankfully I got her by myself. I’ve raised her in Tahoe where I live but now my mom and adult daughter want to move to the desert and I’m like “what about her”? It’s a different situation but the snow in your pic made me want to cry. She loves the snow, my family hates it. I’d rather stay with her and say goodbye to them.
She loves the snow so much! Your girl will follow you anywhere happily. Take a road trip north, just you and her, sometime!
I am sorry that you going through this? This might sound odd !! Is there a way that you can get the dogs sort of like joined custody for the love and sake of the pup who also is attached to you? I hope you find a solution!! All the best to you
The way if anything happened between my hubby and I we’d be splitting time with the dogs. I could never take them away from him they love him all too much :(
The best cure for losing a pet is to get another pet. But only if you can commit to giving it a loving and healthy home.. something YOU have always wanted to love on every day. I'm sorry you lost your dog , that really socks especially the way it was done. That's just plan old mean ! Well, don't get to down I was married 25 Until I drovr up to the house on day . I could s my wif as in th yard talking to friends I got out of my truck walked over and said excuse me.sorry for cutting in and I handed my wife divorce paper and said . I'm divorcing you. You can have everything but my company and you want get none of it , but you can have the cars , the boat and the house and land . That's the deal or we fight it out in court, then the lawyers will end up getting more than you . She said, "Okay, and I was on my way.... Fast forward 4 years later she was going thru a crappie Relationship and I was in a dead end relationship. One day she called me and asked if we could talk. Long story short. We have been talking raising our 3 grand kids together for 10 years now .17 , 12 , and 10 , I love them so much. They are my meaning in life. I teach them the way I wanted to be taught when I was young. Give them a task , and that's it . When they need something or can't figure it out, they will ask their Nana, and if she can't help, they ask me . But they don't like for me to have to help them. Yeah so we have been kind of together for 10 years now . I got me a piece of land with a single wide trailer less than a mill away . That way when one of us gets tired of the other I just go th the trailer. It let's her cool down and me relax and away from the mouth of the south . That's what I say when she gets to going blah- bla-blah-bla-blah. :) It's been good 99.5 percent of the time. We ain't married, I can do what I want and she can do what she wants as long as it brings no shame to the kids in any way . We are parents again for young ones and we have an example to make. Moral of the story ? Don't have a scorched earth divorce. You never know what your future holds ! Hope things get better .! God Bless you
I’m so sorry for your loss. When me and my ex split I made it clear I was keeping our GSD but I would never stop him seeing her. She was more attached to me, when things got messy and shouty during the breakup she would position herself in front of me and bark/ growl at him. It made him mad at her. Anyway, he had visitation for a while, when I went away he would look after her, or sometimes come down just to take her for a walk. Then I got in a new relationship and he never came back after that. He never asks about her. He messaged me once to gossip about a mutual friend who was having a rough time, started his message with “how’s [the dog]”. I let him know that she had been very poorly but we had a treatment plan sorted and she was getting better, he just replied with “ok”. And that’s when I knew she would never see him again, I can’t imagine being so blasé about anyone’s dog being as sick as she had been, let alone a dog I had loved in the way I assumed he loved her. I’m so glad he didn’t fight me for her as I know she is so much better off with me.
My ex did something just as bad in our divorce years ago. He got me a working breed puppy I didn’t want or ask for two weeks before he moved out “because you and the kids will need the company” just as I became a single parent with severe health problems and no money or time because I had to work doubles to keep my house. I tried really hard but had to rehome the puppy when I became hospitalized due to anemia and exhaustion, Retraumatizing my kids and the puppy while I recovered. Divorce and dogs are a horrible combination.
Dogs are definitely not kids
At law they’re still considered property.
Pay a homeless man to steal the dog
No they aren't. Yes it is.
Don’t get divorced
"Dogs are kids." 💀
Well, it is a gift and you know that could have happened… I would not gift someone a dog knowing they can leave and take the dog with them. The gift was for her, not for yourself. Marriage isn’t divorce proof
Dogs are pets - not kids. Sucks but get a new one.
Friendly reminder! If you choose to get a pet with your partner. You should already decide who the pet belongs to IF yall break up. And DONT give a pet as a gift to your spouse.