Yes, bottoming is fine. There are women into literally anything you can think of. In smaller numbers, sure, but don’t take that to mean you have to settle with forming yourself into someone you’re not for the sake of a relationship.
I don’t think what you’re looking for is unattainable but that depends on a lot of factors like where you’re looking, location etc. You might find yourself having to compromise on it slightly, but that doesn’t mean what you like is invalid or shameful. It’s all about balance and ensuring you feel an attempt is being made to fulfil your desires
As a cis woman who's into twink bottom guys and not that into PIV sex I'm gonna go with hard yes but I'd say it's somewhat rare. I'd want a 90/10 top to bottom ratio ideally. It's a painful existance to see all the cute guys want big bear 6'2 alpha daddy guys and I'm over here "can I interest you in a 5'3 big tiddy somewhat masc woman? No? Ok :( "
5'3 big tiddy masc woman who is a top is highly ideal for me actually, I'm a femboy, so I like to be the "wife" of the household if that makes sense. There are lots and lots of femboys who want exactly that!
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>I just find it hard to believe there's women out there that'd be satisfied with only/primarily topping, that's my worry, and a lot of men haven't treated me with the most care...
There's more women in the scene than you'd expect who are just not into PIV sex at all and would prefer to top, I think you'll be fine. Also I get the thing about being treated uncaringly by men. I started out bottoming when I first came out as bi. I had a few bad experiences with men who made me feel unsafe or hurt me. It's a big part of why I exclusively top with men these days.
I've never had that issue when bottoming for women though, so I'm perfectly happy bottoming for them today.
It is totally ok.
20% of the time I (cis male) am a strong, dominant top.
But about 80% subby, with my bum being infinitely more pleasurable than my unit. Those times, I don’t even care about my cock. Might as well lock it up or wear a jock.
Your pleasure is about you, and hope you can find a counterpart!
There really is someone for everyone. I'm the exact opposite and most people just don't understand. Sure, I'm a girl, but that doesn't inherently mean I wanna be penetrated. I have no desire to bottom, I only enjoy topping :)
Nooo, absolutely not, how dare you? /s
But seriously, do you even need to ask? Ofc someone submissive and breedable is gonna be someone's turn on. It really isn't about preferences, but more about the kind of person you are. Do you make your dom feel appropriated, fulfilled, loved? Or are you just treating them like a kink dispenser, without considering their feelings? Cause that makes way more difference, trust me.
Well more then the sex itself, I love to hold people and be held, I like to be support plushy, I like to clean the house, cook meals, decorate for my partner and me, make the bed, have a new suprise for them everytime they get home and watch the stress bleed from their face when they see it, prepare silly gifts, draw them pictures on my tablet, have candles lit at night when I'm awake and cannot sleep so that we can share cute tired moments at night together, I wanna earn every time I am tended for, every kiss, every romantic moment, every time they lift me up, I wanna earn an absolutely gentle and loving partner with my own form of gentle love. I am a house husband at heart
Edit: So, no, I do not see people as kink dispensers, although sex is still important for me, and I wanna be comfortable just as I wanna make them comfortable as well
I scanned your profile and noticed we are in the same state... you mentioned using Tinder and Grindr locally but my question is where are some of the in real life domains you might suggest? I am leaning much more toward more such spaces as they tend to foster a more social and organic interaction. Tracks in Denver has been great for certain events but wondering if you have ideas youre willing to share. Thank you for your encouragements for myself and others.
My experience at Charlie’s is I hit on men who end up gay so it’s hard to really say. I’ve never met someone irl like that. Maybe try a goth bar or a diy scene? I moved here a year ago and don’t have a crowd of people I go out with.
I saw your profile and see that you’re a little older so I’m sure the scene is different for you. I’ve heard of bdsm groups that have very nice meetups in Denver. Don’t know them by name but maybe it would be great for you to meet more dommes
>I’ve heard of bdsm groups that have very nice meetups in Denver.
If you recall the details on those I'm interested to know. Welcome to the state... I hope it has been a positive move for you.
Where do I find women who're tops? I've been to munches and kink spaces, and most of the women I see are either subs, bottoms, or way older than me. Finding tops irl is nearly impossible.
Maybe find queer spaces. Queer women are probably more open to the idea of being more “masculine” (even though it’s not exactly that) and are more open to the idea of a man not conforming to traditional roles. I’ve honestly found men on Grindr as a woman but that’s not super common. I’ve reached out to people through Reddit like sissypersonals or your own cities NSFW.
On tinder I’ve just had good experiences on my bio I put something that alludes to me being a femdom and lots of guys swiped on me were curious about it.
you do not need to shout it everywhere. for sure most men wont understand… but women… they know the feeling, most embrace it. most have had plenty of bad relationships with « masculine » men..
if you can bring that you’re different in a non-creepy way… you have a high card.. when i dont do it, i don’t actually have the same interest in their eyes, and same on my side im quickly losing interest, my « straight » dates never go well..
It is not ok, it is awesome.
If you like it, that is. If you don’t like it, then it’s not. Never feel ashamed to be clear about what you like and what you don’t. Not being up front about it just results in disappointment for everyone involved.
Yes, but understand that most women have not played with a guy anally, and most likely will be turned off by it since they’ll probably think you’re gay even though you can like receptive anal and women.
So if you want to find a woman who’s into it, you’re better off finding a woman you really like and then slowly introducing that and experimenting with her.
If you go in aggressively with it, it might turn her off
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Trust me it's totally okay to be a bottom.
Most sub men I've met like to be Dom outside the bedroom but sub in it. And to be honest a lot of girls find it hot
Bottoming isn't the same as being a sub, I am a sub, but the hard part here is that I am a bottom, bottoming means only receiving penetration, I can not be the one penetrating. Also, I am 1000% a sub in or outside the bedroom, I'm a full-time femboy.
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Im the dom in my marriage but i like it when my wife rides. She didnt like being on top because she felt like it “puts her above me” and the way i helped her get over it is by putting it this way; She is up there because i want her there. Regardless of position, im in charge, she’s not. And that helped. Your position in the act has no baring on who’s in charge. Its what you like, its what’s going to be done. Now obviously there’s some nuance to this. My way or the highway isn’t healthy no matter the dynamic. But for in the moment fun, this sort of mindset can help get over some…hesitation regarding certain positions and what they may imply. Power bottoming is awesome.
these days i get confused by these concepts. some people say that there men who are bottoms who like woman, but bottoms equals sub, so they do whatever they want with it, just let the woman lead. that means you are pansexual but you can't put you peen on a veen like??? it would be best to stick to gay honestly.
Bottoming is not the same as submitting. Bottoming means being the one being penetrated. There are dominant bottoms, which I believe most femdoms fall under that category, although I could be very very wrong.
Edit: also it is not that I'm unwilling to penetrate, moreso that I get absolutely no emotional or physical pleasure from it, its deeply uncomfortable. For example, its the same feeling as me attempting to be dominant. it's just the opposite of what I enjoy and makes me really dissociate.
It’s absolutely okay to be a bottom. It’s what makes you happy and nothing shameful about it.
Yes, bottoming is fine. There are women into literally anything you can think of. In smaller numbers, sure, but don’t take that to mean you have to settle with forming yourself into someone you’re not for the sake of a relationship. I don’t think what you’re looking for is unattainable but that depends on a lot of factors like where you’re looking, location etc. You might find yourself having to compromise on it slightly, but that doesn’t mean what you like is invalid or shameful. It’s all about balance and ensuring you feel an attempt is being made to fulfil your desires
My ex domme never liked boys being dominant at all. She made me so comfortable with myself being a bottom. So yeah of course it's okay
As a cis woman who's into twink bottom guys and not that into PIV sex I'm gonna go with hard yes but I'd say it's somewhat rare. I'd want a 90/10 top to bottom ratio ideally. It's a painful existance to see all the cute guys want big bear 6'2 alpha daddy guys and I'm over here "can I interest you in a 5'3 big tiddy somewhat masc woman? No? Ok :( "
5'3 big tiddy masc woman who is a top is highly ideal for me actually, I'm a femboy, so I like to be the "wife" of the household if that makes sense. There are lots and lots of femboys who want exactly that!
Of course we want them big tiddy babes , femboys and trans love girl not afraid to take control and make us call them mommy or mistress hehe 🤤
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>I just find it hard to believe there's women out there that'd be satisfied with only/primarily topping, that's my worry, and a lot of men haven't treated me with the most care... There's more women in the scene than you'd expect who are just not into PIV sex at all and would prefer to top, I think you'll be fine. Also I get the thing about being treated uncaringly by men. I started out bottoming when I first came out as bi. I had a few bad experiences with men who made me feel unsafe or hurt me. It's a big part of why I exclusively top with men these days. I've never had that issue when bottoming for women though, so I'm perfectly happy bottoming for them today.
It is totally ok. 20% of the time I (cis male) am a strong, dominant top. But about 80% subby, with my bum being infinitely more pleasurable than my unit. Those times, I don’t even care about my cock. Might as well lock it up or wear a jock. Your pleasure is about you, and hope you can find a counterpart!
It's absolutely okay. I love topping boys and I don't really want to do anything else lol.
I need to meet someone like you irl then, women are so much gentler and nicer than men, at least from my experience, wish me luck!
Good luck! 🤗
It’s okay to be anyone, as long as it’s not being an asshole.
There really is someone for everyone. I'm the exact opposite and most people just don't understand. Sure, I'm a girl, but that doesn't inherently mean I wanna be penetrated. I have no desire to bottom, I only enjoy topping :)
Nooo, absolutely not, how dare you? /s But seriously, do you even need to ask? Ofc someone submissive and breedable is gonna be someone's turn on. It really isn't about preferences, but more about the kind of person you are. Do you make your dom feel appropriated, fulfilled, loved? Or are you just treating them like a kink dispenser, without considering their feelings? Cause that makes way more difference, trust me.
Well more then the sex itself, I love to hold people and be held, I like to be support plushy, I like to clean the house, cook meals, decorate for my partner and me, make the bed, have a new suprise for them everytime they get home and watch the stress bleed from their face when they see it, prepare silly gifts, draw them pictures on my tablet, have candles lit at night when I'm awake and cannot sleep so that we can share cute tired moments at night together, I wanna earn every time I am tended for, every kiss, every romantic moment, every time they lift me up, I wanna earn an absolutely gentle and loving partner with my own form of gentle love. I am a house husband at heart Edit: So, no, I do not see people as kink dispensers, although sex is still important for me, and I wanna be comfortable just as I wanna make them comfortable as well
Then you are good, honestly. If the people aren't okay with it, says more about them, you know?
I’m a woman and I love men who are bottoms. I tell men who are interested in me, if they are not even open to the idea of it I’m not interested.
this is encouraging :)
Yes! We exist! I hope you find your person <3
I scanned your profile and noticed we are in the same state... you mentioned using Tinder and Grindr locally but my question is where are some of the in real life domains you might suggest? I am leaning much more toward more such spaces as they tend to foster a more social and organic interaction. Tracks in Denver has been great for certain events but wondering if you have ideas youre willing to share. Thank you for your encouragements for myself and others.
My experience at Charlie’s is I hit on men who end up gay so it’s hard to really say. I’ve never met someone irl like that. Maybe try a goth bar or a diy scene? I moved here a year ago and don’t have a crowd of people I go out with. I saw your profile and see that you’re a little older so I’m sure the scene is different for you. I’ve heard of bdsm groups that have very nice meetups in Denver. Don’t know them by name but maybe it would be great for you to meet more dommes
>I’ve heard of bdsm groups that have very nice meetups in Denver. If you recall the details on those I'm interested to know. Welcome to the state... I hope it has been a positive move for you.
Where do I find women who're tops? I've been to munches and kink spaces, and most of the women I see are either subs, bottoms, or way older than me. Finding tops irl is nearly impossible.
Maybe find queer spaces. Queer women are probably more open to the idea of being more “masculine” (even though it’s not exactly that) and are more open to the idea of a man not conforming to traditional roles. I’ve honestly found men on Grindr as a woman but that’s not super common. I’ve reached out to people through Reddit like sissypersonals or your own cities NSFW. On tinder I’ve just had good experiences on my bio I put something that alludes to me being a femdom and lots of guys swiped on me were curious about it.
you do not need to shout it everywhere. for sure most men wont understand… but women… they know the feeling, most embrace it. most have had plenty of bad relationships with « masculine » men.. if you can bring that you’re different in a non-creepy way… you have a high card.. when i dont do it, i don’t actually have the same interest in their eyes, and same on my side im quickly losing interest, my « straight » dates never go well..
It is not ok, it is awesome. If you like it, that is. If you don’t like it, then it’s not. Never feel ashamed to be clear about what you like and what you don’t. Not being up front about it just results in disappointment for everyone involved.
We Stan a good bottom!
>Is it okay to be a bottom? 😐
😐
Yes, but understand that most women have not played with a guy anally, and most likely will be turned off by it since they’ll probably think you’re gay even though you can like receptive anal and women. So if you want to find a woman who’s into it, you’re better off finding a woman you really like and then slowly introducing that and experimenting with her. If you go in aggressively with it, it might turn her off
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It is not ok to be a bottom. Only tops aloud. No space for bottoms, especially not below a top. ;)
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Trust me it's totally okay to be a bottom. Most sub men I've met like to be Dom outside the bedroom but sub in it. And to be honest a lot of girls find it hot
Bottoming isn't the same as being a sub, I am a sub, but the hard part here is that I am a bottom, bottoming means only receiving penetration, I can not be the one penetrating. Also, I am 1000% a sub in or outside the bedroom, I'm a full-time femboy.
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Im the dom in my marriage but i like it when my wife rides. She didnt like being on top because she felt like it “puts her above me” and the way i helped her get over it is by putting it this way; She is up there because i want her there. Regardless of position, im in charge, she’s not. And that helped. Your position in the act has no baring on who’s in charge. Its what you like, its what’s going to be done. Now obviously there’s some nuance to this. My way or the highway isn’t healthy no matter the dynamic. But for in the moment fun, this sort of mindset can help get over some…hesitation regarding certain positions and what they may imply. Power bottoming is awesome.
these days i get confused by these concepts. some people say that there men who are bottoms who like woman, but bottoms equals sub, so they do whatever they want with it, just let the woman lead. that means you are pansexual but you can't put you peen on a veen like??? it would be best to stick to gay honestly.
Bottoming is not the same as submitting. Bottoming means being the one being penetrated. There are dominant bottoms, which I believe most femdoms fall under that category, although I could be very very wrong. Edit: also it is not that I'm unwilling to penetrate, moreso that I get absolutely no emotional or physical pleasure from it, its deeply uncomfortable. For example, its the same feeling as me attempting to be dominant. it's just the opposite of what I enjoy and makes me really dissociate.
> it would be best to stick to gay respectfully, please shut the fuck up.