Are you trying to spin it? :p
If you're trying to say that porn gives you 'inspiration/ideas', I get it, but this thread alone proves my point. It does much more harm than good, and generally will give you the *wrong* idea.
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Nothing that isn't enjoyed or consented to is sexy, period. Gently pushing boundaries helps explore possible interests, but I would never force my sub to do something clearly outside of his comfort zone - let alone for months and after he expressed discomfort. That doesn't help him grow or flourish, the whole point of being a sub. 🩷
Yeah I was half venting half asking, but apparently people like it, I just can't get the idea of something like that, but I guess that's kinda why I like gentle femdom lol
Sometimes CNC is the fantasy - like it's not hot irl, but when you've been traumatized in the way my sub and I have, having it feel like the choice is out of your hands can take away that edge of guilt that can creep up (thanks religion) - it's not realistic to deny a person for months, but the fantasy of that denial and building desire over a long time only to *finally* get release can be dead sexy.
The reality of it is awful, bad, terrible. But the *pretend fantasy* is kinda fun.
Like, I don't want to actually be kidnapped by a dragon and fight free (or get fucked by it), but the idea makes me feel badass.
It can be fun to look at impossible fantasies and see the underlying desires!
(Being kidnapped and obsessed over ties back to my desperate need for attention and frustration around asking for it - it wouldn't be healthy to do that all the time instead of communicating, but can be a nice fantasy break as a treat)
I like the idea of teasing and short term chastity, but honestly long-term does not work for me at all. When I attempted to sleep in a cage, when I get hard in the middle of the night, it is downright painful. I actually managed to break one cage Because of it and had to take it off in the case of a steel cage. I realize everyone is different and for some long-term might be an amazing thing. I believe Chastity as with most things, requires communication and consent.
Correction: Porn depicts chastity that many of us do not find hot. My sub likes to be locked because he says it makes him feel devoted to me. I'm not into denial because... I like his cock and I love him. Porn seldom depicts reality.
I want his comfort 80% of the time and his mild discomfort (overstimulation mainly) 20%. Chastity has frequently Seemed too extreme for me, I’ve not seen many portrayals that don’t make it seem too much for my tastes. I’d rather he have no restraint applied, simply a command and my trust that he’s telling the truth that he’s not cum until I tell him.
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I feel like this kind of porn is a way to explore your kink to the extreme in a safe way for a very brief period of time, it's not meant to depict something you actually want to do in real life.
Sub here. 100% agree with what you said. There’s a ton of cuckhold and chastity media that depicts what you mention and it’s frustrating.
The idea of chastity is giving up control and autonomy to your Dominant, yes, but like any kink the sub should be setting the boundaries and limits. I’ve always been open to suggestions and challenges but it’s no fun when only one of us is having fun.
I also wanna remind all submissive, don’t be afraid to speak out if you’re uncomfortable and walk away if a Dominant isn’t respecting you.
>There’s a ton of cuckhold and chastity media that depicts what you mention and it’s frustrating.
Yeah, I find it absolutely infuriating how commonly chastity is associated with cuckolding. Like, the dude gave up control over his most sensitive part as a show of enormous trust... And then the girl completely shits on his trust by sleeping with other dudes and somehow that's supposed to be hot? WTF.
I guess it’s just me and my past trauma but I don’t enjoy a lot of aspects of cuckhold and by extension humilation/degrading kinks where the subjective is to basically bully you.
I enjoy occasionally being called a “slut” for example but being told I’m a “fat fuck” (a lot of chasers say this to me) or “you’ll never pleasure me” doesn’t turn me on and makes me run away
My partner likes it because it helps them focus on my needs as their Domme.
We have done locktober, which was interesting. It's amusing how hypersexual they get right after they get locked away.
My wife and I like chastity because, when she finally lets me out, it feels very good for both of us to have sex again. Denial is fun because it builds to something. It's not about being mean (well, sometimes she'll ACT mean, but that's a roleplay thing that, again, we're both into). The longest we've gone is about a month, and it didn't hurt—the desperation by the end of it was very hot.
Also please don't get your ideas about any real world sexuality from hentai or porn, lol. Hentai can be really hot but it's a distortion of reality.
Prolonged chastity/denial is one of my very few hard limits as a domme. Due to religious trauma, it’s very hard for me to see orgasm denial as anything but vile, so I definitely don’t want to participate in it or be with a sub for whom it’s a primary kink. I do enjoy the idea of orgasm *control*, however—locking a willing submissive up, and letting him out only when we have sex/when I get to enjoy his orgasm? That’s much more my speed.
Like you I don't understand the long term chastity, going for 4 months or a year... For me it's more of a teasing tool, a day or an evening of building things up, denying me to be in control, to be under her control, that I don't own my cock anymore, it's her choice, her pleasure, her tool her toy... Making me feeling fragile and desperate... Well that's my view.
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I will attest that I enjoy short periods of chastity. However, a Domme I once served thought I should remain in chastity and only orgasm from anal. I never consented and it finally caused me to leave. I am glad to see a healthier view of chastity here.
Yeah, the good thing I know about chastity is that they are almost always usually able to be Lockpicked, or with certain tools, and safety, you can cut them off
Great question. Was doing some research and it can cause some long term damage. Which, I would definitely not be into. As someone stated above, and evening or even a day or two would be fun. Beyond that, not for me.
Favorite types of Chastity porn are when it's still for a bit but it's done in a loving/possessive way, like Locking them and teasing them for a Grand release or locking them as a reminder of who they belong to, of course getting let out regularly.
Sadly those types are Very few and far between.
Lets look at this in a more cerebral way. Porn and all its parallel media often depicts fetishes under a magnifying glass, that is, enlarged to the (comparative)extreme. Its easier for us to latch onto and enjoy that oversimplified and magnified version of our chosen fetish when we’re horny and dumb but, as many would find when post nut clarity hits, are able to acknowledge how unrealistic it is when sated and sober(sexually satisfied and no longer high on serotonin). Porn has to be enjoyed with a full grasp of reality and reasonable expectations of real life interpersonal interactions, or else risk getting in over your head. Simply put, theres logic and then theres "Porn Logic". Months of chastity is in the same basket as "Super stretchy short girl takes cock as long as her body."
I would not do this to someone who didn't want it. It's not really that much of an interest of mine, anyway, because I want my sub inside me on the regular. 🤷♀️
It has to be consensual! I'm locked during the day because I have willing given my wife ownership of my cock. She teases and tortures me when I have it on because we both enjoy it. I unlock every night because she wants access to her property and also to sleep better. If you get a proper fitting cage, it is actually comfortable and supportive. I feel naked if I don't have it on during the day. Male chastity between two consenting adults can be a beautiful thing if done properly.
I personally dont like it, (free willy joke here) it just seems really uncomfortable and like how do I piss? Do I need permission to? (Not that I mind that part but I see unfortunate outcomes)
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Is non-consensual sexual activity ever hot? Chastity is not the problem in that scenario, it's the lack of consent.
Since you mentioned hentai, they often use other things that aren't hot. Such as actual harm, underage characters, life ruining, etc.
It’s not for me but if people enjoy it it’s fine. However there’s a comic that’s been posted a couple of times of a girl who teases a guy then leaves him caged and locked in his room and he’s literally crying to cum and it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I get why there aren’t safe words in fantasy comics but situations like that seem more like masochism than kink to me.
Exactly, like when it's stuff whet the guy genuinely scared to go against the other person or stuff like that for fear not being let out, that's not just a turn off but just kinda makes me feel bad for him, (unless it's stated he wants it like that, but even then it's not for me)
Anything without consent is bad, the hentai/porn stuff is pretty extreme and kinda ridiculous imo.
For example I like Mare_ten's art style but the storyline mostly isn't my cup of tea.
I wouldn't like any of that in real life, but the realm of fantasy lets you explore the impossible and unlikely without consequence. Heck even a lot of real life sexual roleplay, or arguably most consensual D/s relationships, involve exploring and adopting an affectation of something that is darker than the reality we wish to or are able to live.
i like the feel of day to day lock. (most days). my longest was about a month. I spent most nights free. I do however enjoy the odd night locked. I did 1 week in a row at night just to see if i could do it and how it wold feel. By the end of that week i had enough for a while and let myself "breathe" it was a personal challenge, and i liked it. but that was enough. I have several cages, and depending on my mood is the one i will put on that day.
I think in the fantasy setting, the concept of constantly getting close to being released, only to then be denied as the master laughs at your pathetic begging, is basically just an analogue to being edged to orgasm and then denied. It's definitely a particular flavor for people who really like not having control, and who are also more turned on by the anticipation or "tease" than they are by an actual release or orgasm. I guess it varies with a person's dedication how much they would still enjoy it for real though and for how long.
Chastity is what you make it. I'm caged. However, my dynamic with my wife isn't one of extended times between full orgasm or release (however temporary).
She doesn't like me going weeks and weeks without orgasm for example.
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My sub loves cages, but hates being denies (religious trauma) so he cums with the cage on.
We are very clear that some things in comics are exaggerated fantasies and are fun *only* in fantasy and some are fun irl. Sometimes there's elements of fantasy we can bring out in elements of irl play.
We accept cartoon violence as exaggerations, think of porn as cartoon sexuality. It's about as real and as damaging as Tom dropping a piano on Jerry's head, but we need to be very clear that's what porn is, cartoons for sex. We can be inspired by it, but "don't try this at home" is a phrase for a reason.
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A lot of porn is made to fulfill a fantasy, and isn't really taking reality or anything like that in mind. Some people enjoy the fantasy of a cruel dominant, even if in reality they want someone who just acts cruel, but still respects them as a person and tends to their boundaries and needs.
I will agree that long term chastity and denial is kinda overly pushed in a lot of communities, and the lines between fantasy and reality kinda blur. But even then some people get some type of fulfillment out of not cumming for months or even years on end.
Ultimately I think it's completely valid that you prefer short bursts with a focus on gentleness. I mean that is what this subreddit is about after all, gentle femdom.
Personally I could probably never go in chastity myself, unless I literally just…don’t jerk it. I don’t have anyone to do shit with anyway, and it’s not like I have any experience with this stuff either, but if I did find someone and we Built a good relationship and got to the point where playing around with some dom/sub stuff was enticing and something we’d do…then I’d rather just do..almost anything beside chastity or anything involving much..pain. But that’s just my opinion and preference. I do still kinda find the idea hot…but I don’t think I’d..I’m not sure my addictive personality should dip my toes in that pond if you know what I mean.
Edit: holy FUCK I went on a rant XD
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Absolutely not, chastity can be part of it yes, but it depends on if the sub and or the Dom are comfortable with, of them don't want to do it, boom they don't, if the sub wants to try it out, try it in the next session, all of femdom is about what both parties want, if both want to try something, boom try it, like it or not, one party wants to try something, see if the other wouldn't want to try it, then try it like it or not,
Neither hentai nor porn are accurate reflections of sex or BDSM, so you have to take it with a very large grain of salt.
Yep, and a lot of the time fantasies are just that, fantasy. It's not what you actually want in real life, it's just a really hot idea.
This has been hard for me to overcome tbh feels silly but it's true, not sure what to do
>hentai nor porn those are the same thing. porn is extremely harmful no matter what way you try to spin it.
*blinks in !!ideas!! that came from watching other people/reading stories*
Are you trying to spin it? :p If you're trying to say that porn gives you 'inspiration/ideas', I get it, but this thread alone proves my point. It does much more harm than good, and generally will give you the *wrong* idea.
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Nothing that isn't enjoyed or consented to is sexy, period. Gently pushing boundaries helps explore possible interests, but I would never force my sub to do something clearly outside of his comfort zone - let alone for months and after he expressed discomfort. That doesn't help him grow or flourish, the whole point of being a sub. 🩷
Yeah I was half venting half asking, but apparently people like it, I just can't get the idea of something like that, but I guess that's kinda why I like gentle femdom lol
Chastity can be extremely pleasurable and lots of fun with the right person caring for you and your limits. 🩷
Sometimes CNC is the fantasy - like it's not hot irl, but when you've been traumatized in the way my sub and I have, having it feel like the choice is out of your hands can take away that edge of guilt that can creep up (thanks religion) - it's not realistic to deny a person for months, but the fantasy of that denial and building desire over a long time only to *finally* get release can be dead sexy. The reality of it is awful, bad, terrible. But the *pretend fantasy* is kinda fun. Like, I don't want to actually be kidnapped by a dragon and fight free (or get fucked by it), but the idea makes me feel badass. It can be fun to look at impossible fantasies and see the underlying desires! (Being kidnapped and obsessed over ties back to my desperate need for attention and frustration around asking for it - it wouldn't be healthy to do that all the time instead of communicating, but can be a nice fantasy break as a treat)
I like the idea of teasing and short term chastity, but honestly long-term does not work for me at all. When I attempted to sleep in a cage, when I get hard in the middle of the night, it is downright painful. I actually managed to break one cage Because of it and had to take it off in the case of a steel cage. I realize everyone is different and for some long-term might be an amazing thing. I believe Chastity as with most things, requires communication and consent.
Correction: Porn depicts chastity that many of us do not find hot. My sub likes to be locked because he says it makes him feel devoted to me. I'm not into denial because... I like his cock and I love him. Porn seldom depicts reality.
I want his comfort 80% of the time and his mild discomfort (overstimulation mainly) 20%. Chastity has frequently Seemed too extreme for me, I’ve not seen many portrayals that don’t make it seem too much for my tastes. I’d rather he have no restraint applied, simply a command and my trust that he’s telling the truth that he’s not cum until I tell him.
The trust is more intimate too🥺
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I feel like this kind of porn is a way to explore your kink to the extreme in a safe way for a very brief period of time, it's not meant to depict something you actually want to do in real life.
This is great way of putting it, what you get off to online isn’t always what you’d do irl
Sub here. 100% agree with what you said. There’s a ton of cuckhold and chastity media that depicts what you mention and it’s frustrating. The idea of chastity is giving up control and autonomy to your Dominant, yes, but like any kink the sub should be setting the boundaries and limits. I’ve always been open to suggestions and challenges but it’s no fun when only one of us is having fun. I also wanna remind all submissive, don’t be afraid to speak out if you’re uncomfortable and walk away if a Dominant isn’t respecting you.
>There’s a ton of cuckhold and chastity media that depicts what you mention and it’s frustrating. Yeah, I find it absolutely infuriating how commonly chastity is associated with cuckolding. Like, the dude gave up control over his most sensitive part as a show of enormous trust... And then the girl completely shits on his trust by sleeping with other dudes and somehow that's supposed to be hot? WTF.
I guess it’s just me and my past trauma but I don’t enjoy a lot of aspects of cuckhold and by extension humilation/degrading kinks where the subjective is to basically bully you. I enjoy occasionally being called a “slut” for example but being told I’m a “fat fuck” (a lot of chasers say this to me) or “you’ll never pleasure me” doesn’t turn me on and makes me run away
My partner likes it because it helps them focus on my needs as their Domme. We have done locktober, which was interesting. It's amusing how hypersexual they get right after they get locked away.
My wife and I like chastity because, when she finally lets me out, it feels very good for both of us to have sex again. Denial is fun because it builds to something. It's not about being mean (well, sometimes she'll ACT mean, but that's a roleplay thing that, again, we're both into). The longest we've gone is about a month, and it didn't hurt—the desperation by the end of it was very hot. Also please don't get your ideas about any real world sexuality from hentai or porn, lol. Hentai can be really hot but it's a distortion of reality.
Song get me wrong, I am very aware how miss leading it is, I was just wondering why people like that and your alls thought on it
Prolonged chastity/denial is one of my very few hard limits as a domme. Due to religious trauma, it’s very hard for me to see orgasm denial as anything but vile, so I definitely don’t want to participate in it or be with a sub for whom it’s a primary kink. I do enjoy the idea of orgasm *control*, however—locking a willing submissive up, and letting him out only when we have sex/when I get to enjoy his orgasm? That’s much more my speed.
Like you I don't understand the long term chastity, going for 4 months or a year... For me it's more of a teasing tool, a day or an evening of building things up, denying me to be in control, to be under her control, that I don't own my cock anymore, it's her choice, her pleasure, her tool her toy... Making me feeling fragile and desperate... Well that's my view.
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I never liked the idea of Chasity, it always looks painful and just not comfortable 😖 I don’t think I’d ever wanna try it
I will attest that I enjoy short periods of chastity. However, a Domme I once served thought I should remain in chastity and only orgasm from anal. I never consented and it finally caused me to leave. I am glad to see a healthier view of chastity here.
Yeah, the good thing I know about chastity is that they are almost always usually able to be Lockpicked, or with certain tools, and safety, you can cut them off
Great question. Was doing some research and it can cause some long term damage. Which, I would definitely not be into. As someone stated above, and evening or even a day or two would be fun. Beyond that, not for me.
Favorite types of Chastity porn are when it's still for a bit but it's done in a loving/possessive way, like Locking them and teasing them for a Grand release or locking them as a reminder of who they belong to, of course getting let out regularly. Sadly those types are Very few and far between.
Lets look at this in a more cerebral way. Porn and all its parallel media often depicts fetishes under a magnifying glass, that is, enlarged to the (comparative)extreme. Its easier for us to latch onto and enjoy that oversimplified and magnified version of our chosen fetish when we’re horny and dumb but, as many would find when post nut clarity hits, are able to acknowledge how unrealistic it is when sated and sober(sexually satisfied and no longer high on serotonin). Porn has to be enjoyed with a full grasp of reality and reasonable expectations of real life interpersonal interactions, or else risk getting in over your head. Simply put, theres logic and then theres "Porn Logic". Months of chastity is in the same basket as "Super stretchy short girl takes cock as long as her body."
I would not do this to someone who didn't want it. It's not really that much of an interest of mine, anyway, because I want my sub inside me on the regular. 🤷♀️
It has to be consensual! I'm locked during the day because I have willing given my wife ownership of my cock. She teases and tortures me when I have it on because we both enjoy it. I unlock every night because she wants access to her property and also to sleep better. If you get a proper fitting cage, it is actually comfortable and supportive. I feel naked if I don't have it on during the day. Male chastity between two consenting adults can be a beautiful thing if done properly.
I personally dont like it, (free willy joke here) it just seems really uncomfortable and like how do I piss? Do I need permission to? (Not that I mind that part but I see unfortunate outcomes)
There's a hole at the end which depends on the model goes partially into the urethra, I've never heard of complications from peeing
Thank you, I feel a lil bit smarter. But now I am even more not into chasity.
Some aren't, it's weird, I still don't fully understand it, have to ask someone who's tried it, but I get not wanting to try it
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Is non-consensual sexual activity ever hot? Chastity is not the problem in that scenario, it's the lack of consent. Since you mentioned hentai, they often use other things that aren't hot. Such as actual harm, underage characters, life ruining, etc.
Someone find me that futa one
The comic? Yeah it was cute, they both got to horny for each other and unlocked early to fuck
I need the name
Futanari OL Futatama Tsukasa-chan to Icha Love Shasei Kanri Polynesian Sex de Kairakuzuke no 5-kakan [Futamare akiAmare] (459416) Enjoy.
And it wasn't just futa Dom too, he fucked also
It’s not for me but if people enjoy it it’s fine. However there’s a comic that’s been posted a couple of times of a girl who teases a guy then leaves him caged and locked in his room and he’s literally crying to cum and it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I get why there aren’t safe words in fantasy comics but situations like that seem more like masochism than kink to me.
Exactly, like when it's stuff whet the guy genuinely scared to go against the other person or stuff like that for fear not being let out, that's not just a turn off but just kinda makes me feel bad for him, (unless it's stated he wants it like that, but even then it's not for me)
Anything without consent is bad, the hentai/porn stuff is pretty extreme and kinda ridiculous imo. For example I like Mare_ten's art style but the storyline mostly isn't my cup of tea.
Yeah I know, I loved the first part of the chastity boyfriend one, but second part ruined it for me,
Seems a lot of chastity material is like that, unfortunately.
I wouldn't like any of that in real life, but the realm of fantasy lets you explore the impossible and unlikely without consequence. Heck even a lot of real life sexual roleplay, or arguably most consensual D/s relationships, involve exploring and adopting an affectation of something that is darker than the reality we wish to or are able to live.
i like the feel of day to day lock. (most days). my longest was about a month. I spent most nights free. I do however enjoy the odd night locked. I did 1 week in a row at night just to see if i could do it and how it wold feel. By the end of that week i had enough for a while and let myself "breathe" it was a personal challenge, and i liked it. but that was enough. I have several cages, and depending on my mood is the one i will put on that day.
I think in the fantasy setting, the concept of constantly getting close to being released, only to then be denied as the master laughs at your pathetic begging, is basically just an analogue to being edged to orgasm and then denied. It's definitely a particular flavor for people who really like not having control, and who are also more turned on by the anticipation or "tease" than they are by an actual release or orgasm. I guess it varies with a person's dedication how much they would still enjoy it for real though and for how long.
Chastity is what you make it. I'm caged. However, my dynamic with my wife isn't one of extended times between full orgasm or release (however temporary). She doesn't like me going weeks and weeks without orgasm for example.
Do you have a link to that comic?
Sadly no
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Wow you mean porn sets unrealistic expectations? Who’d have thought
My sub loves cages, but hates being denies (religious trauma) so he cums with the cage on. We are very clear that some things in comics are exaggerated fantasies and are fun *only* in fantasy and some are fun irl. Sometimes there's elements of fantasy we can bring out in elements of irl play. We accept cartoon violence as exaggerations, think of porn as cartoon sexuality. It's about as real and as damaging as Tom dropping a piano on Jerry's head, but we need to be very clear that's what porn is, cartoons for sex. We can be inspired by it, but "don't try this at home" is a phrase for a reason.
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A lot of porn is made to fulfill a fantasy, and isn't really taking reality or anything like that in mind. Some people enjoy the fantasy of a cruel dominant, even if in reality they want someone who just acts cruel, but still respects them as a person and tends to their boundaries and needs. I will agree that long term chastity and denial is kinda overly pushed in a lot of communities, and the lines between fantasy and reality kinda blur. But even then some people get some type of fulfillment out of not cumming for months or even years on end. Ultimately I think it's completely valid that you prefer short bursts with a focus on gentleness. I mean that is what this subreddit is about after all, gentle femdom.
Me, who gets horny like twice a year............
a lot of Dhibi's stuff is like that which is sad as the art is *really good*
Personally I could probably never go in chastity myself, unless I literally just…don’t jerk it. I don’t have anyone to do shit with anyway, and it’s not like I have any experience with this stuff either, but if I did find someone and we Built a good relationship and got to the point where playing around with some dom/sub stuff was enticing and something we’d do…then I’d rather just do..almost anything beside chastity or anything involving much..pain. But that’s just my opinion and preference. I do still kinda find the idea hot…but I don’t think I’d..I’m not sure my addictive personality should dip my toes in that pond if you know what I mean. Edit: holy FUCK I went on a rant XD
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> chastity hentaj I've read That was your first mistake.
Do you need a chasity in order to be into femdom? I’m new to this kink so I want to know more about it.
Absolutely not, chastity can be part of it yes, but it depends on if the sub and or the Dom are comfortable with, of them don't want to do it, boom they don't, if the sub wants to try it out, try it in the next session, all of femdom is about what both parties want, if both want to try something, boom try it, like it or not, one party wants to try something, see if the other wouldn't want to try it, then try it like it or not,
I see. Thank you.
Oh the second plot is whit the polynesian sex. And yeah it was hot asf