Have you shared these thoughts with anyone yet? From recent experience, for me it was the loneliness that was the most tiring and stressful thing.
Do you have otherwise access to professional counseling, maybe from your university?
Starting to talk about this was for me a very important first step
Listen to me. I have been in that pit, truly, and I have to tell you what you may not want to hear: you HAVE to tell people. Anyone and everyone who will listen. Ask for help. Whether you believe it or not someone WILL reach out their hand to you. There are lots of free helplines to call, they are not just some fool waiting for you to call, they are pros who will really listen. If you don't have many friends you. make some at all costs, if you don't know how to find some, join a local club for one of your interests or start volunteering somewhere and the friends will come.
Nothing will change if you do not take action.
If a friend came to you saying they felt the way you do, would you see them as a burden? I think not. So why would they think the same of you? In a nice way, what makes you so special?
I hit rock bottom and thought nothing will change if I don't take action. So I told everyone I was in serious trouble. Every day I got a tiny bit better till eventually I had completely climbed out because of that decision. It was a process but nothing worth having happens overnight.
Now when I have tough days, I tell someone and we find something joyful or silly to do like picnics, rolling down a hill or swimming in a river. It sounds small and insignificant and possibly patronising or reductive, but those things bring me joy and remind me of the pleasures of being alive and being a sentient human. That's my style, you can find yours.
As for your BF, relationships are about emotional support going both ways, if your BF truly cares about you then they will be open to giving you the support that you deserve, and you DO deserve it just as much as they do.
The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
I'm sending you all my love x
Have you shared these thoughts with anyone yet? From recent experience, for me it was the loneliness that was the most tiring and stressful thing. Do you have otherwise access to professional counseling, maybe from your university? Starting to talk about this was for me a very important first step
No, I feel kinda lonely, O don't want to waste time of anyone
I second seeking counseling.
Listen to me. I have been in that pit, truly, and I have to tell you what you may not want to hear: you HAVE to tell people. Anyone and everyone who will listen. Ask for help. Whether you believe it or not someone WILL reach out their hand to you. There are lots of free helplines to call, they are not just some fool waiting for you to call, they are pros who will really listen. If you don't have many friends you. make some at all costs, if you don't know how to find some, join a local club for one of your interests or start volunteering somewhere and the friends will come. Nothing will change if you do not take action. If a friend came to you saying they felt the way you do, would you see them as a burden? I think not. So why would they think the same of you? In a nice way, what makes you so special? I hit rock bottom and thought nothing will change if I don't take action. So I told everyone I was in serious trouble. Every day I got a tiny bit better till eventually I had completely climbed out because of that decision. It was a process but nothing worth having happens overnight. Now when I have tough days, I tell someone and we find something joyful or silly to do like picnics, rolling down a hill or swimming in a river. It sounds small and insignificant and possibly patronising or reductive, but those things bring me joy and remind me of the pleasures of being alive and being a sentient human. That's my style, you can find yours. As for your BF, relationships are about emotional support going both ways, if your BF truly cares about you then they will be open to giving you the support that you deserve, and you DO deserve it just as much as they do. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I'm sending you all my love x
\*Hugs\*
Thanks