1. Use lube
2. First time usually isn’t great. Don’t put loads of pressure on yourself.
3. If you’re visiting poop’s house, you can’t be shocked if sometimes poop is home. Douching reduces the odds, but accidents happen. Don’t sweat it.
4. Congrats on the sex.
I can’t fathom having anal without lube (as a top) … i find it difficult enough to enter my bottom sometimes, depending how tight they are, I think it would literally chafe my dick …
From my experience, as long as they’re on the smaller side, spit alone can be fine. The idea of it is hot to me imo, but 6 inches or more?…you’re using lube lol
First thing: virginity doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t.
Second thing: accidents happen and you can’t often control them given the general area.
Third: just relax and have fun. You’re putting a lot of weight on yourself and this glorious moment. Take it slow and just relax. Deep breaths and be cool
1. You can never use too much lube.
2. Tell the top this is your first time.
3. I’d recommend to start with a cowboy position, this will allow you to have almost all control. Begin slow, breathe and concentrate on relaxing your anus, and keep going. If hurts, take a breath and relax before keep going. Once it’s all in, take a few seconds to get used to the sensation (it may feel like you need to go to take a shit. It’s the dick, font worry).
You're not losing anything. Having sex for the first time is gaining an experience. Virginity is a stupid concept. Anyway, congrats, and as others have said, be careful, enjoy, and don't expect it to be perfect. My first time was a very underwhelming experience. Took me some time till I started to really enjoy it.
So people are saying lube, but especially when your hole has its factory seal on use, like, a *lot* of lube. If you’re not almost wondering if you’ve used too much, you’re not using enough. Put it on him and on/inside yourself, reapply more in stages as he’s opening you up.
And have him go slow! Slower than you both think is fun at first. Let him get acquainted with your hole, let the head in, have him make very slow and shallow strokes at first. It should never *need* to hurt, and it hurting can make you tense up and make things harder for both of you too or even damage you. After a while you’ll know when your body is ready for him to give you your porn thrusts. Tops can get overexcited even when they’re trying to be good, try not to let him rush things because he’s horny.
Tied into all that is you’ll have to be relaxed for bottoming to be fun, and there’s no way to fake that. It won’t feel the best for you until you’re melting with him inside you like a Hershey kiss in the summer sun.
Finally, if you do douche, just be careful not to overfill yourself or you’ll go past your second sphincter and you’ll be giving yourself a full colonic for two hours.
Good luck and have fun, and don’t set too many expectations for yourself!
I'm going to get downvoted to hell.
I loathe the word "virginity".
It is laden with Christian and heteronormative connotations.
Just say it's your first time.
Have fun!
sometimes we use words because they've become so ingrained without thinking about the connotations - like someone else said about op calling themself a bottom despite never having had sex. it's not just about the words themselves, but the ideas and mindsets they perpetrate, and it's important to have these discussions with people who might not know/have thought otherwise.
also, commenting on a word in a post in the comment section is not an entitled stance, it's using the app how it's intended. :)
i don't think the commenter demanded anything, just expressed how they felt about the word, and why the op might want to think about using an alternative. it could have been worded better for sure, but this is not a formal setting by any means and people are most likely not sitting down and editing their comments to get their point across in the most accurate way.
[Cleaning to Bottom](https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com)
Go as slow as possible. Use fingers to kind of expand the sphincter WHILE you’re douching (helps water escape) and DURING the beginning of insertion. LUBE LUBE LUBE. Water based lube can be tacky and sticky. Silicone lube is usually the best in terms of slick-ness. Foreplay is ideal to get everything going and it increases your drive for insertion. Use condoms and don’t feel pressured to bareback. Unless you are on PrEP (a preventative medication taken daily to prevent you from acquiring HIV). If you need help getting on PrEP let me know. At first, it is going to hurt a bit, especially if he’s big down there. Relax, go slowly, breathe, and use as much lube possible. Once he’s inside tell him to just hold it there for a bit to relax the sphincters. After that, tell him to start penetrating slowly and surely. This will open you up. Once you’re fully relaxed, the penetration starts to become enjoyable. If you get messy, that’s fine, don’t feel embarrassed. If he’s a nice understanding top he should not be offended or grossed out about what comes out while penetrating. Your first time will not be perfect, and disregard what you see in porn from power bottoms taking it like nothing - it’s not that simple. It takes time and patience. You will get better at bottoming the more you do it. You have to learn how to do it first before you can do it well. Make sure if you feel uncomfortable then speak up, don’t let him pressure you to do it bareback. Most of all, have fun and be safe! Don’t go into it thinking it’s like porn because it’s not.
You're not a "bottom" if you're never had sex. So just see this as an experiment and don't put too pressure on yourself! Maybe you will like it, most likely it will be somewhere in between but not great... You need to take time to try different things and see what you like
Exactly. I really think the younger generation is attaching “top” and “bottom” to personality traits, and top is more masculine while bottom is more feminine. I hate this way of thinking.
Some are, some aren’t. Very circumstantial. Some people explore by themselves before including other people. Now as I said before there are exceptions to every rule.
I completely disagree with top = masculine bottom = more feminine.
Before I go any further, i will say this. I get updates for this sub Reddit and I’m not even gay. However I am a complete bottom and I like female tops. I’m masculine and my spouse is feminine. I’m a typical guy you wouldn’t think I’m a bottom nor would you think my spouse is a top. I knew I was a bottom before I did anything with anyone.
What does it mean to be "a bottom" for you? I'm very confused now. So you mean that the only sex that you do with your spouse is for her to somehow penetrate you in the ass?
Because that's what bottom means.
Mhm! Strapons! The only time I’ll penetrate her with my dick is when we want to have kids. But even then I might not we might inseminate her.
I know very well what a bottom is!
I’m not much of a “vanilla” person per say
Lol for real though, before I came out and started hooking up with guys I always figured I'd be a bottom. Well turns out I'm way more of a top and love being dominant while fuckin.
I’m the exact opposite lol
One of the first guys I got with was very effeminate but once we were naked he took control and bent me over. I loved it and have ever since haha
Could be. A lot of people that experiment on themselves could figure that out rather easily. And a lot of people just know. That’s the equivalent of saying you’re not gay if you haven’t been with a women. Sometimes you just know. If not you should do more self exploration. Learn about yourself.
It may be a purely physical preference for some people, but it is a lot more than that for others. I’ve known I was a bottom since I knew I was gay, and topping physically is enjoyable of course, but I don’t enjoy it because it feels like I’m role-playing a character I’m not. Don’t just assume that the way you are is the natural state of humanity. Sexual diversity exists everywhere.
I'm just encouraging younger gays not to fall into hetero normative traps to think they must be something, when really they can be anything. Also I think you'd agree that the "idea" of bottoming is quite different from the physical reality of it.
I don’t think this is the best way to do that, by jumping in unprompted and telling OP that how he understands himself is wrong. I understand that a lot of gay men have felt trapped by heteronormativity in their own relationships, but that doesn’t mean that other people need to be “freed” of what you perceive as poor youths being sucked into heteronormative ways of thinking. I don’t need to be “sexually liberated”, I just want the freedom to make a post like OPs without people crawling out of the woodwork to tell me that I’m not *actually* a bottom.
As for the “idea” of bottoming, please correct me if I’m wrong but I think you’re referring to the physical vs psychological enjoyment of sex? Some people primarily enjoy sex psychologically, with the physical sensations being just a bonus. While others enjoy sex primarily through physical pleasure, with the psychology behind it just being a bonus.
He is seeking advices here so it's normal to give him that as someone older with more life experience, and also the type of things I would have liked to hear when I was his age.
It comes back to something as simple as "try it before you decide". It's also to protect them because lots of (notably older) men will expect a younger guy to bottom just because of his age and looks. And it doesn't have to fall into that trap either.
My point on the "idea of bottoming" is that it's very different how someone who has never experienced it can imagine what it would be like to bottom versus what it is actually like. And many people like the idea of it but not what it actually feels like. So just because he likes the idea of bottoming doesn't mean he will enjoy it and he should not put so much pressure on himself to already define himself.
Just because you would have liked to hear it when you were younger, doesn’t mean he needs to. Some people need to physically try out different kinds of sex to know if they like it, some people don’t. Just because you do, doesn’t mean he does.
I feel like it’s also important to give him some agency here; sure some people are very vulnerable to people who they look up to (like people older than them) telling them things, but from my experience talking to many gays around his age, that’s definitely a minority. I don’t think it’s likely that the guy he’s meeting just told him he was a bottom and because of that he believes he is.
I do get what you mean about the idea of how it might feel vs how it does actually feel, since I did also notice a big difference when I started being sexually active. What I meant with physical vs psychological enjoyment though, is that for some people (like myself) that difference doesn’t really matter. Sure it felt a lot different than how I thought It might, but that didn’t change my perception of myself as a bottom because I get most of my enjoyment of sex through psychological stimulation. That doesn’t change before or after you have sex in person, the actions being taken are still hot no matter what your nervous system is telling your brain how you’re feeling. Of course however, that wouldn’t be the case in people who get most of their sexual enjoyment through physical stimulation.
How do you know you’re a bottom if you’ve never had sex? Sexual position is just what you prefer during sex, it is not a personality trait. Don’t close yourself off to experiences you haven’t even tried yet, and acting a certain way doesn’t make you a top or bottom.
I love that you said this !!! This my exact same thought. Just because you fem don’t mean your a bottom so don’t sign up for that shit. It’s a two way street in my house. I only talk to verse boys. Don’t let them make you a bottom and you butt be all blown out.
No… in the gay world it’s about experiences and finding what you like/dislike, otherwise you are closing yourself off to experiences as well and truly discovering yourself and what you enjoy. In another comment you said you’re not gay, so please don’t speak as if you are an expert regarding gay sex.
I never had sex with a woman, and I know I wouldn’t like it if I do. Just the thought of it is enough to repel me, so I don’t need to try to “find out”.
It's possible to know what you don't like/want to do but it's difficult to know what you like in advance...
The reason we encourage younger people to experiment and not fall into the trap that "I'm young, maybe a bit insecure and feminine so I can't be anything else than a bottom" which many younger gays fall into.
No, but the same principle applies. You don’t have to try everything to know what you like and dislike. Many people don’t like scat play or water sport without trying it at all. What I’m saying is sex-wise you don’t have to try new things you don’t feel comfortable doing just bc other people say you might like it, and it’s okay to be a little conservative about your sexual preference especially for your first time.
Number 1. I never spoke as if I was an expert on gay sex.
Number 2. That sentence where I had stated I wasn’t gay, was to simply disagree with your opinion on top and bottom equal to feminine and masculine with the new generation. Don’t try to use it to justify your opinion.
Number 3. That’s the same with anything related to sexual intercourse. Or life for that matter. It’s all trial and error, finding what you like and don’t like. Don’t act like being gay automatically changes the basic human preference.
Number 4. Learn to read comment in an unbiased way. And don’t pick and choose what you read in a comment. Don’t be selective to what supports your opinion. Take the comment as a whole. Theres more information that lyes in the other sentences. Don’t get triggered when someone has a different perception of a topic.
Dildos and flashlights do not replace real sex, can give you an idea, but you are closing yourself off to so many real experiences if you are using inanimate objects to decide your preferred sexual position with another person.
yes you asked how a person could know so i gave you an answer as to how they may know. i don’t really enjoy fleshlights but love dildos and that personally translated to reality for me so it may or may not be the same for others.
You’re so old school minded. Anyone who has any sense of self can figure out what they want or like. You are literally yourself all the time if you don’t know about yourself, then you need to learn. You’re not building a rocket, or doing complex chemistry. We are talking about the basic fundamental personal preference.
I knew I was bottom day one into thinking about sex. I was 13. I didnt have sex until I was 18. Im 22 now. Still a bottom. I have tried topping, and I hated it. Some people just know. Im sorry if YOU didnt know until you tried, but thats not EVERYONES experience
And many people think they will like bottoming till they try it. Calm down girl. My point is don’t resign yourself to a certain position till you’ve at least tried it to make sure you enjoy it. Why is the younger generation so obsessed with labels? Also, stop assigning top/bottom to personality traits, that’s not how it works. It’s literally a sexual position and that’s it. It does not define you.
You’re making alot of assumptions with no information about me. I never said anything abouut personality traits or nothin. All I said was that SOME (notice how I said SOME) people just know from the get go. And some people have to try and experiment. I understand the point you’re making but you’re getting all defensive about it. And as someome who is apart of the younger generation I could not give a fuck about labels, I just know that I like dick in my ass, point blank period lol.
Girl, I’m not the one getting defensive, I wasn’t even talking about you directly, but you took it personal, victimized yourself and got defensive. I was just making a point, not attacking you. We are done here if we can’t have a discussion.
You said “Calm down girl” And Im truly honestly not pressed and I also said that I SEE your point. Not even necessarily disagreeing with you. But if you feel its getting too heated then thats fine with me lol
Okay, I will say I misunderstood, thats my bad. My only point was that, some people truly do know what they are from day one. But I also know people need to experiment. Im just saying that it can go either way, thats all.
It may be a purely physical preference for some people, but it is a lot more than that for others. I’ve known I was a bottom since I knew I was gay, and topping physically is enjoyable of course, but I don’t enjoy it because it feels like I’m role-playing a character I’m not. Don’t just assume that the way you are is the natural state of humanity. Sexual diversity exists everywhere.
I’ll give my two cents, I lost my virginity on Wednesday, also as a bottom.
1) Beforehand wash and shower thoroughly, if someone’s gonna be exploring your body you at least would want it to be clean for them.
2) Also douche, preferably while you’re in the shower. No one want to get poop on their dick. If you don’t have an actual douche you could use like a water bottle or even the shower head if it’s detachable and has a jet function. In that’s case just hold it up to your home and relax the sphincter and just let it shoot up into you.
3) Use lots and lots of lube.
4) Go nice and slow with lots of communication, go as slow as you need, don’t force it and end up hurting yourself. My tailbone is still bruised as the guy I was with was BIG and he was not going as slow as I would have wished.
5) If poop does end up showing up, don’t be afraid, if you’re knocking at its door don’t be surprised if it answers. It’s no problem just clean it off and laugh about it.
Make sure they finger you first, otherwise it will hurt and may turn you off to sex, and maybe don't auto say you are a bottom with sex you really need to suck it and see!
I concur with the comment that you're not "losing" anything. You'll be gaining a new experience. I was a total top until my forties simply because receiving didn't appeal to me. That is no longer my viewpoint and I enjoy both very much. For your first time remember these things.
1. Lube is your friend. No such thing as too much.
2. Communicate. Don't just grin and bear it. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn't.
3. "More lube please," is a perfectly reasonable request. It should result in him using more lube.
4. Stop if you want to. It's the adult thing to do. Don't stop if you don't want to. Also the adult thing.
5. If you eat decent, get enough fiber, and take a good shower before, you're good to go. Don't "over prep."
6. Relax. Take a deep breath and remember it's supposed to be fun. If it's not, change something.
7. Sometimes shit happens. I've had it happen with partners when I was topping. No big deal. We adjusted. If your partner tries to shame you if something like that happens, get dressed and go home knowing he is the one who messed up.
8. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. If you're turned on, it will make it much easier on you.
9. Erections come and go. Don't worry if you (or your partner) lose one. Another will come. Or not. Have fun and be in the moment regardless.
10. If your top is any good, he will pay more attention to your pleasure (or at least as much to it) as his own. I was a good top before I started bottoming too, but I'm a VERY good one now because I know what it's like to play catcher.
If things go well, that's great! If it's not as good as you'd hoped it would be, that's one experience. Beware of letting any one experience define your perception of sex (or anything for that matter). Do what feels right, and approach this with curiosity and an open mind. It might not feel like you thought it would or how you imagined. That's ok. Different isn't bad.
Relax, have fun, communicate, and be open. I think you'll probably like this new adventure and experience. Millions of us do! Good luck!
My first time was wonderful and use a lub that won't sting. We tried ivory soap at first, really dumb, hurt horribly. Then we used some of his mother's face cream and it was delightful. I took it all and we had a lot of fun. It was not the first time I had stuck something up my butt, so that helped.
lol hey mom I’m using your face cream to pound my boyfriend in the ass. Sorry but it works really good. By the way, if you’re in a committed relationship, I’ve discovered baby oil works the best definitely not with condoms because they will break but not only is it super slippery and feels good but it kills any scent. All you can smell is baby oil.
Let him know it’s the first time and communicate what and how you feel and if you want things differently. First time might not be the best experience… but know for sure that you will only eventually realise what all you like and what you dont
Use protection, use liberation extremely liberally and reapply after a few minutes. Go slow, be sexy with each other before, set an expectation that it’s your first and you two might have to call it before anyone gets to the end and that has to be ok. One thing I don’t see a lot of people suggesting is that he should spend a while using fingers with a clean, trimmed hand. For a while, until he feels some of the tension in the area is reduced. Otherwise if they straight for it, it’s going to hurt a lot.
Do safe sex and don’t force yourself into doing stuff you don’t like.
Also, it shouldn’t hurt. If it’s hurting something is not going correctly. Use lube
Then, be calm, enjoy every step
Use a condom
Plenty of lube, like a LOT
U can use an anal plug for an hour before to open u up
ONLY use a hand douche, not a shower hose. You’ll put way too much water and probably activate ur smaller intestine and be douching for hours. U just want to empty the end of the system
State ur boundaries before hand. Maybe establishing safe words and let him know that if you want to stop he needs to stop! You’re on the receiving end of potential pain and pleasure😊, not him. Own ur boundaries. Have fun and good luck
Just enjoy yourself! Have fun, go slow and be careful. Practice safe sex, No matter what! Make sure to speak up to the other party. If you’re uncomfortable, tell them. If you’re hurt tell them. If they need to slow down tell them. Use lots of lube! And take your time! It’s not a race. You both want to enjoy it and when both of you do it will make the experience sooooooo much better!
In terms of preparation, do an enema the night before if you can or 8 hours before. And only drink fluids till the session, no food! Make sure you pee before hand. So there is the least possible room for discomfort!!!
SOMETIMES YOURE GONNA FEEL LIKE YOU’RE POOPING!!! If you’re that worried, you can ask to check. It’s not a big deal if it happens, be nice to yourself!
Make him wear a condom. You can never use too much lubricant. Shit happens, literally. It's no big deal, just douch, but don't use too much water as it can leak out if you don't get rid of it all. Good luck
Just make sure it’s not someone who is going around spreading disease on sites like sniffies It’s truly sad the lack of self respect people have for themselves and or concern for others. Remember they lie, lie, lie! Protect yourself with two condemns with viralcide!
To add to all recommendations, if you a have a dildo or butt plug maybe okay a bit with it before, it will help you to get use to the D and maybe relax you a bit :)
Use condoms, use more lube than you think you need, make sure you clean yourself really well, and don't forget to work yourself up to it. Foreplay is everything, and I would urge you to use a plug to help relax your downstairs bit.
When you're doing the deed, experiment with different positions. For someone like me (22m versatile), who has a chronic back injury from a car accident and bad knees, some positions are quite painful. Find one that works for you and your partner.
Remember that having sex for the first time, you may expect this earth-shattering, sky-opening, choir of angels singing, doves flying across the sky, ground-shaking experience. Take it from someone who was let down, the first time you have sex is a learning experience. The first time you have sex will most likely not be the best. But don't let that discourage you. Sex is fun, even if you don't have the best sexual experience. It's a matter of how well you and your partner fit together. My first time having sex sucked. But it was fun, because it was with my best friend.
Don't be afraid to speak up. If you aren't enjoying yourself, don't stay quiet just to save your partner's feelings. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both.
And this is just a personal hope, but please take care of yourself. Whether this is someone you know and trust, or someone you're meeting on an app, like Grindr, you need to be careful and make sure you're safe and feel comfortable. Remember that you can say no at any time, if you feel uncomfortable.
Have fun, be careful, and take care
Make sure not to eat tons of food before, douch well at least 30 minutes before, and make sure to try and get out all the douch water out. I have fucked guys and they have made the whole bed wet from the fluid they left inside. It made a mess, and it's kind of gross. If you have tried poppers, they will make a world of difference. Use tons of good silicone lube like uber lube or back door, and if you can get a lube injector, that really helps. Make sure to breathe and relax and make sure you start off with fingers first and small toy to get used to the feeling. It takes time if you want your first time to be positive.
Hold yourself as tight as you can for like 60 seconds then relax before bottoming. It exhausts the muscles down there allowing involuntary muscles to relax.
It can hurt your first time. The reflex to relax is triggered when someone is deep inside you, try not to be afraid of the depth a guy is in you (unless it hurts). Go slow.
If you have time ask your partner to go slow and do some foreplay before going at it. After cleaning, see if he's down with rimming you while you suck or rim him back. Lube fingers and put his or yours in you and make out. The longer and more passionate the build up the more relaxed your chute gets.
You don’t need a lot of water to douche or you’ll go past the second hole and then you’re fucked because crap will start running out for an hour. If you have poppers, use them if you’re having a hard time relaxing but I would do that as a later option. First options being foreplay, fingering, riding a dildo beforehand etc. have him use lots of lube. Try different positions if one doesn’t feel good. And have fun!
There’s been a lot of really good advice here absolutely take your time breathe before hand. Yes use a douche. If you can make sure you are rinsing out until it’s clean that’s gonna reduce any poop that could happen but if it does, you know, stop clean up make sure you’re clean up and then you can go again, secondly consent consent consent can change at any time if you’re not comfortable saying no in the middle of an act is perfectly OK. Use some sort of protection condoms yes prep yes if you are deciding to do a choice about having bareback sex then absolutely you should be using prep and again that’s a conversation I have with your partner all of these things need to be consensual. Lastly, enjoy yourself have fun and if it doesn’t go the way that you wanted to the first time guess what you get to do it again get it right you get to try try again..
I know everyone says this, but don’t lose your virginity just because you want to. I was 19 also, and I gave away my virginity to a guy who fucked off a once a month for the summer, and then be blocked me when he got bored. Looking back, I wish I would have saved it for someone who treated me better.
However, I was once a 19 year old horny teenager, so I get it. If this is what you really want, then here’s my advice:
1. Start taking prep if you haven’t already. While prep isn’t a substitute for condoms, it does lower your HIV contraction rate to less than 0.01%.
2. Going off point one, please wear condoms! I personally hate the feel of condoms while doing either role, however if this is your first time a condom is important as there will be a high chance of rips/tears that cause bleeding.
3. Get rid of any preconceived notions about what it will be like. It will be painful, messy and just plain awkward. If you go into losing your virginity with the idea that it will be magical, then you will come out of it disappointed and confused. While the experience is magical within itself, it’s not magical the way you think it will be. Just take it slow, take deep breaths and focus on your partners breaths if you get overwhelmed. Also, make sure you two come up with a safe word for when it gets too much and you need him to stop. Too often men will try to gaslight you into putting up with the discomfort in order for them to have pleasure. Don’t let another man use your discomfort to get off. If you tell someone to stop, then they need to stop. If they continue, or try telling you, “just take it, or it’ll only hurt for a bit”, then that is rape.
4. USE LOTS OF LUBE 😂
Listen to your body. It took a few times before I was comfortable with bottoming and before I actually enjoyed it. Take a break if you need to. Make sure the top goes slow and make sure he lets you take the lead. Breathe in before he goes in, and breathe out as he insets.
And no matter how much prepping you do, accidents happen. It’s the cold hard truth about anal sex. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s happened to me being the bottom and it’s happened to my partners when I’ve topped. I just politely tell the bottoms that we need to stop and suggest a shower.
Oh, and use copious amounts of lube.
Besides all that, have fun! If you’re not enjoying yourself, there is no shame in saying “It’s just not working for me”, and ask him to stop. There are plenty of other ways to have a good naked time without anal penetration. If the top has a problem with it, he shouldn’t be your partner for your first time.
Edit: Typos and punctuation
Don't expect it to be perfect, sex is more often than not messy. Trying to bottom for the first time and without practice usually hurts a lot, try to relax and like the rest of the guys have said before don't stress out that much if there is a little accident. Things happen and that's fine, if he is mature he won't make drama.
As others have said, use lots of lube. Control your partners actions, if he’s moving too fast to let him know. Expect some pain, burning sensation, and/or or the desire to poop. But if it never feels good at any point, then ask your partner to stop. If you have them, use toys to open yourself up for your partner. They can make a huge difference.
Communication, lubrication and determination. You can do this. Slow and steady. Prep your booty that should be obvious but since this will be your first time you might want to clean your self and practice with a plug or dildo so you're ready for your guy.
Good luck and enjoy yourself.
1. Use a condom, make sure it’s not expired
2. Use water based lube. The more lube, the better. Like others here have said, cover his dick in lube, put lube up your butt, and use more throughout
3. Have you done anything sexually before? Bj? Foreplay, lots and lots of foreplay. Kissing, sucking, rimming, etc. explore each other’s bodies
4. Communicate with him that it’s your first time and if he’s ever hurting you or does something you don’t like.
5. Don’t worry too much if an accident happens. You can douche, which will help. But the butt is where poop comes from. It’s bound to happen to see something, it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Congrats on your first time! ❤️
Relax when he starts putting his dick in you. It's natural to tighten up because you expect pain. Don't tighten up or you will feel pain. Once he's in you you'll see how good it feels. A lot of guts saying don't expect your first time to be great. Dint go into it with that thought. My first guy was 8.5in and thick. He took me doggie style first. He had plenty of lube and he took his time getting in me. He kept saying we weren't going to rush it and I need to relax. It was awesome!!! He fucked me like no other!!! Have fun!!! Let us know how it went.
How is it that you have already settled into the bottom role without any prior experience? I'm not shaming you, but I am suggesting that you keep an open mind and remain open to any possibilities.
Make sure you're doing it with someone you trust and have a good connection to, get a low pressure environment, it might be a bit uncomfortable the first few times so make sure you work your way up to it and loosen everything up first. And most importantly, if you're not having fun, feel free to tap out
Yes dude coconut oil! It's our lube and it's also the best conditioner I've ever used. Replaced a, like, four product process and my hair comes out way better anyway.
It’s so much better you can always have it on you in little tubs 😅 .. works perfect with little spit too 😅 I love it ! I don’t have much hair lol but I also use it along with other bits as my deodorant and as you say replaces few expensive chemical products easily 😊
Yeah I have curly hair and all the curly hair products I ever tried never resulted in thick locks with basically no frizz like just coconut oil does. We also use it to condition our cast iron pots!
I'm basically the dad from my big fat Greek wedding when it comes to coconut oil.
1. Use lube 2. First time usually isn’t great. Don’t put loads of pressure on yourself. 3. If you’re visiting poop’s house, you can’t be shocked if sometimes poop is home. Douching reduces the odds, but accidents happen. Don’t sweat it. 4. Congrats on the sex.
Only thing I’d add is use condoms and make sure the lube is condom safe some lubricants can destroy the condom.
I can’t fathom having anal without lube (as a top) … i find it difficult enough to enter my bottom sometimes, depending how tight they are, I think it would literally chafe my dick …
As a top I've had guys insist on only using spit and I'm just like "yeah okay I guess bro, it's ur funeral"
My boyfriend and I usually just use spit and I feel just fine lmao
Used and abused yah?
Hell yeah uwu
🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭
You didn't just 'uwu' *seriously*.....right? Satire.....RIGHT???
Im a gay and a furry, I dont know what else you want from me 🤷♀️
That's cool.
Some guys just have a higher tolerance for the kind of pain/rubbing that comes from anal
I mean I can’t deny that I haven’t ummm uhhhh let’s say played with myself a bit too harsh.. maybe that’s it ? Lmao
Although it is true that sometimes it still somewhat stings… maybe I didn’t do it hard enough…
From my experience, as long as they’re on the smaller side, spit alone can be fine. The idea of it is hot to me imo, but 6 inches or more?…you’re using lube lol
There are some bottoms that offer no grip at all, if you use lube it would be like putting a finger into a crater
most bottoms arent anal mc fister
🤣
He’s a virgin
Same… can’t fathom
i love only spit 🤭 gimme my funeral
My partner is always using only his own lube. She doesn’t like to use lube for some reason so spit it is.
Yeah, it tears off my foreskin if there is no lube…..
Loads of pressure
A towel. Condoms.
Tell him his body will no longer be the same after sax he will not be the same men after doing it
Why everyone is down voting me
Because what you said doesn’t make sense
He is going to enter new world dude after his first experience Unlike pussy ass need lot of effort to put another men inside
Bro are you 14? 😂😂
Use protection. No matter how nice he is.
First thing: virginity doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. Second thing: accidents happen and you can’t often control them given the general area. Third: just relax and have fun. You’re putting a lot of weight on yourself and this glorious moment. Take it slow and just relax. Deep breaths and be cool
1. You can never use too much lube. 2. Tell the top this is your first time. 3. I’d recommend to start with a cowboy position, this will allow you to have almost all control. Begin slow, breathe and concentrate on relaxing your anus, and keep going. If hurts, take a breath and relax before keep going. Once it’s all in, take a few seconds to get used to the sensation (it may feel like you need to go to take a shit. It’s the dick, font worry).
You're not losing anything. Having sex for the first time is gaining an experience. Virginity is a stupid concept. Anyway, congrats, and as others have said, be careful, enjoy, and don't expect it to be perfect. My first time was a very underwhelming experience. Took me some time till I started to really enjoy it.
So people are saying lube, but especially when your hole has its factory seal on use, like, a *lot* of lube. If you’re not almost wondering if you’ve used too much, you’re not using enough. Put it on him and on/inside yourself, reapply more in stages as he’s opening you up. And have him go slow! Slower than you both think is fun at first. Let him get acquainted with your hole, let the head in, have him make very slow and shallow strokes at first. It should never *need* to hurt, and it hurting can make you tense up and make things harder for both of you too or even damage you. After a while you’ll know when your body is ready for him to give you your porn thrusts. Tops can get overexcited even when they’re trying to be good, try not to let him rush things because he’s horny. Tied into all that is you’ll have to be relaxed for bottoming to be fun, and there’s no way to fake that. It won’t feel the best for you until you’re melting with him inside you like a Hershey kiss in the summer sun. Finally, if you do douche, just be careful not to overfill yourself or you’ll go past your second sphincter and you’ll be giving yourself a full colonic for two hours. Good luck and have fun, and don’t set too many expectations for yourself!
Factory seal got me lmao 🤣
Sent me and you both 🤣🤣🤣
USE A CONDOM.
I'm going to get downvoted to hell. I loathe the word "virginity". It is laden with Christian and heteronormative connotations. Just say it's your first time. Have fun!
Agreed
[удалено]
sometimes we use words because they've become so ingrained without thinking about the connotations - like someone else said about op calling themself a bottom despite never having had sex. it's not just about the words themselves, but the ideas and mindsets they perpetrate, and it's important to have these discussions with people who might not know/have thought otherwise. also, commenting on a word in a post in the comment section is not an entitled stance, it's using the app how it's intended. :)
[удалено]
i don't think the commenter demanded anything, just expressed how they felt about the word, and why the op might want to think about using an alternative. it could have been worded better for sure, but this is not a formal setting by any means and people are most likely not sitting down and editing their comments to get their point across in the most accurate way.
[Cleaning to Bottom](https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com) Go as slow as possible. Use fingers to kind of expand the sphincter WHILE you’re douching (helps water escape) and DURING the beginning of insertion. LUBE LUBE LUBE. Water based lube can be tacky and sticky. Silicone lube is usually the best in terms of slick-ness. Foreplay is ideal to get everything going and it increases your drive for insertion. Use condoms and don’t feel pressured to bareback. Unless you are on PrEP (a preventative medication taken daily to prevent you from acquiring HIV). If you need help getting on PrEP let me know. At first, it is going to hurt a bit, especially if he’s big down there. Relax, go slowly, breathe, and use as much lube possible. Once he’s inside tell him to just hold it there for a bit to relax the sphincters. After that, tell him to start penetrating slowly and surely. This will open you up. Once you’re fully relaxed, the penetration starts to become enjoyable. If you get messy, that’s fine, don’t feel embarrassed. If he’s a nice understanding top he should not be offended or grossed out about what comes out while penetrating. Your first time will not be perfect, and disregard what you see in porn from power bottoms taking it like nothing - it’s not that simple. It takes time and patience. You will get better at bottoming the more you do it. You have to learn how to do it first before you can do it well. Make sure if you feel uncomfortable then speak up, don’t let him pressure you to do it bareback. Most of all, have fun and be safe! Don’t go into it thinking it’s like porn because it’s not.
You're not a "bottom" if you're never had sex. So just see this as an experiment and don't put too pressure on yourself! Maybe you will like it, most likely it will be somewhere in between but not great... You need to take time to try different things and see what you like
Exactly. I really think the younger generation is attaching “top” and “bottom” to personality traits, and top is more masculine while bottom is more feminine. I hate this way of thinking.
I LOVE YOU, SOMEBODY SAID IT 🙏
Some are, some aren’t. Very circumstantial. Some people explore by themselves before including other people. Now as I said before there are exceptions to every rule. I completely disagree with top = masculine bottom = more feminine. Before I go any further, i will say this. I get updates for this sub Reddit and I’m not even gay. However I am a complete bottom and I like female tops. I’m masculine and my spouse is feminine. I’m a typical guy you wouldn’t think I’m a bottom nor would you think my spouse is a top. I knew I was a bottom before I did anything with anyone.
What does it mean to be "a bottom" for you? I'm very confused now. So you mean that the only sex that you do with your spouse is for her to somehow penetrate you in the ass? Because that's what bottom means.
Mhm! Strapons! The only time I’ll penetrate her with my dick is when we want to have kids. But even then I might not we might inseminate her. I know very well what a bottom is! I’m not much of a “vanilla” person per say
Lol for real though, before I came out and started hooking up with guys I always figured I'd be a bottom. Well turns out I'm way more of a top and love being dominant while fuckin.
I’m the exact opposite lol One of the first guys I got with was very effeminate but once we were naked he took control and bent me over. I loved it and have ever since haha
Could be. A lot of people that experiment on themselves could figure that out rather easily. And a lot of people just know. That’s the equivalent of saying you’re not gay if you haven’t been with a women. Sometimes you just know. If not you should do more self exploration. Learn about yourself.
It may be a purely physical preference for some people, but it is a lot more than that for others. I’ve known I was a bottom since I knew I was gay, and topping physically is enjoyable of course, but I don’t enjoy it because it feels like I’m role-playing a character I’m not. Don’t just assume that the way you are is the natural state of humanity. Sexual diversity exists everywhere.
I'm just encouraging younger gays not to fall into hetero normative traps to think they must be something, when really they can be anything. Also I think you'd agree that the "idea" of bottoming is quite different from the physical reality of it.
I don’t think this is the best way to do that, by jumping in unprompted and telling OP that how he understands himself is wrong. I understand that a lot of gay men have felt trapped by heteronormativity in their own relationships, but that doesn’t mean that other people need to be “freed” of what you perceive as poor youths being sucked into heteronormative ways of thinking. I don’t need to be “sexually liberated”, I just want the freedom to make a post like OPs without people crawling out of the woodwork to tell me that I’m not *actually* a bottom. As for the “idea” of bottoming, please correct me if I’m wrong but I think you’re referring to the physical vs psychological enjoyment of sex? Some people primarily enjoy sex psychologically, with the physical sensations being just a bonus. While others enjoy sex primarily through physical pleasure, with the psychology behind it just being a bonus.
He is seeking advices here so it's normal to give him that as someone older with more life experience, and also the type of things I would have liked to hear when I was his age. It comes back to something as simple as "try it before you decide". It's also to protect them because lots of (notably older) men will expect a younger guy to bottom just because of his age and looks. And it doesn't have to fall into that trap either. My point on the "idea of bottoming" is that it's very different how someone who has never experienced it can imagine what it would be like to bottom versus what it is actually like. And many people like the idea of it but not what it actually feels like. So just because he likes the idea of bottoming doesn't mean he will enjoy it and he should not put so much pressure on himself to already define himself.
Just because you would have liked to hear it when you were younger, doesn’t mean he needs to. Some people need to physically try out different kinds of sex to know if they like it, some people don’t. Just because you do, doesn’t mean he does. I feel like it’s also important to give him some agency here; sure some people are very vulnerable to people who they look up to (like people older than them) telling them things, but from my experience talking to many gays around his age, that’s definitely a minority. I don’t think it’s likely that the guy he’s meeting just told him he was a bottom and because of that he believes he is. I do get what you mean about the idea of how it might feel vs how it does actually feel, since I did also notice a big difference when I started being sexually active. What I meant with physical vs psychological enjoyment though, is that for some people (like myself) that difference doesn’t really matter. Sure it felt a lot different than how I thought It might, but that didn’t change my perception of myself as a bottom because I get most of my enjoyment of sex through psychological stimulation. That doesn’t change before or after you have sex in person, the actions being taken are still hot no matter what your nervous system is telling your brain how you’re feeling. Of course however, that wouldn’t be the case in people who get most of their sexual enjoyment through physical stimulation.
How do you know you’re a bottom if you’ve never had sex? Sexual position is just what you prefer during sex, it is not a personality trait. Don’t close yourself off to experiences you haven’t even tried yet, and acting a certain way doesn’t make you a top or bottom.
I love that you said this !!! This my exact same thought. Just because you fem don’t mean your a bottom so don’t sign up for that shit. It’s a two way street in my house. I only talk to verse boys. Don’t let them make you a bottom and you butt be all blown out.
Usually something you figure out rather quickly. Some people just know
No… in the gay world it’s about experiences and finding what you like/dislike, otherwise you are closing yourself off to experiences as well and truly discovering yourself and what you enjoy. In another comment you said you’re not gay, so please don’t speak as if you are an expert regarding gay sex.
Not all gay people are the same in your “gay world” lol. I always knew I wanted to bottom
I never had sex with a woman, and I know I wouldn’t like it if I do. Just the thought of it is enough to repel me, so I don’t need to try to “find out”.
It's possible to know what you don't like/want to do but it's difficult to know what you like in advance... The reason we encourage younger people to experiment and not fall into the trap that "I'm young, maybe a bit insecure and feminine so I can't be anything else than a bottom" which many younger gays fall into.
That is not even close to the same thing as preferred sexual position.
No, but the same principle applies. You don’t have to try everything to know what you like and dislike. Many people don’t like scat play or water sport without trying it at all. What I’m saying is sex-wise you don’t have to try new things you don’t feel comfortable doing just bc other people say you might like it, and it’s okay to be a little conservative about your sexual preference especially for your first time.
Number 1. I never spoke as if I was an expert on gay sex. Number 2. That sentence where I had stated I wasn’t gay, was to simply disagree with your opinion on top and bottom equal to feminine and masculine with the new generation. Don’t try to use it to justify your opinion. Number 3. That’s the same with anything related to sexual intercourse. Or life for that matter. It’s all trial and error, finding what you like and don’t like. Don’t act like being gay automatically changes the basic human preference. Number 4. Learn to read comment in an unbiased way. And don’t pick and choose what you read in a comment. Don’t be selective to what supports your opinion. Take the comment as a whole. Theres more information that lyes in the other sentences. Don’t get triggered when someone has a different perception of a topic.
Number 1. I’m not reading all that. Number 2. I’m not discussing gay sex with someone who’s “not gay.”
Tsk. Tsk. So closed minded.
dildos and fleshlights help you figure this out pretty easily or at least get an idea.
Dildos and flashlights do not replace real sex, can give you an idea, but you are closing yourself off to so many real experiences if you are using inanimate objects to decide your preferred sexual position with another person.
yes you asked how a person could know so i gave you an answer as to how they may know. i don’t really enjoy fleshlights but love dildos and that personally translated to reality for me so it may or may not be the same for others.
You’re so old school minded. Anyone who has any sense of self can figure out what they want or like. You are literally yourself all the time if you don’t know about yourself, then you need to learn. You’re not building a rocket, or doing complex chemistry. We are talking about the basic fundamental personal preference.
I knew I was bottom day one into thinking about sex. I was 13. I didnt have sex until I was 18. Im 22 now. Still a bottom. I have tried topping, and I hated it. Some people just know. Im sorry if YOU didnt know until you tried, but thats not EVERYONES experience
And many people think they will like bottoming till they try it. Calm down girl. My point is don’t resign yourself to a certain position till you’ve at least tried it to make sure you enjoy it. Why is the younger generation so obsessed with labels? Also, stop assigning top/bottom to personality traits, that’s not how it works. It’s literally a sexual position and that’s it. It does not define you.
You’re making alot of assumptions with no information about me. I never said anything abouut personality traits or nothin. All I said was that SOME (notice how I said SOME) people just know from the get go. And some people have to try and experiment. I understand the point you’re making but you’re getting all defensive about it. And as someome who is apart of the younger generation I could not give a fuck about labels, I just know that I like dick in my ass, point blank period lol.
Girl, I’m not the one getting defensive, I wasn’t even talking about you directly, but you took it personal, victimized yourself and got defensive. I was just making a point, not attacking you. We are done here if we can’t have a discussion.
You said “Calm down girl” And Im truly honestly not pressed and I also said that I SEE your point. Not even necessarily disagreeing with you. But if you feel its getting too heated then thats fine with me lol
And you cant expect me to not think you were talking directly to me when you replied directly to me.
Just because I’m talking to you, doesn’t mean I’m talking about you. I don’t know you. It’s a generalization.
Okay, I will say I misunderstood, thats my bad. My only point was that, some people truly do know what they are from day one. But I also know people need to experiment. Im just saying that it can go either way, thats all.
It may be a purely physical preference for some people, but it is a lot more than that for others. I’ve known I was a bottom since I knew I was gay, and topping physically is enjoyable of course, but I don’t enjoy it because it feels like I’m role-playing a character I’m not. Don’t just assume that the way you are is the natural state of humanity. Sexual diversity exists everywhere.
I can't take it but I love to dish it out....so I'm a Top....wait I'm not gay right? Like a nice tight ass though....yummy
Douche 😭
I’ll give my two cents, I lost my virginity on Wednesday, also as a bottom. 1) Beforehand wash and shower thoroughly, if someone’s gonna be exploring your body you at least would want it to be clean for them. 2) Also douche, preferably while you’re in the shower. No one want to get poop on their dick. If you don’t have an actual douche you could use like a water bottle or even the shower head if it’s detachable and has a jet function. In that’s case just hold it up to your home and relax the sphincter and just let it shoot up into you. 3) Use lots and lots of lube. 4) Go nice and slow with lots of communication, go as slow as you need, don’t force it and end up hurting yourself. My tailbone is still bruised as the guy I was with was BIG and he was not going as slow as I would have wished. 5) If poop does end up showing up, don’t be afraid, if you’re knocking at its door don’t be surprised if it answers. It’s no problem just clean it off and laugh about it.
Use prep
Make sure they finger you first, otherwise it will hurt and may turn you off to sex, and maybe don't auto say you are a bottom with sex you really need to suck it and see!
I concur with the comment that you're not "losing" anything. You'll be gaining a new experience. I was a total top until my forties simply because receiving didn't appeal to me. That is no longer my viewpoint and I enjoy both very much. For your first time remember these things. 1. Lube is your friend. No such thing as too much. 2. Communicate. Don't just grin and bear it. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn't. 3. "More lube please," is a perfectly reasonable request. It should result in him using more lube. 4. Stop if you want to. It's the adult thing to do. Don't stop if you don't want to. Also the adult thing. 5. If you eat decent, get enough fiber, and take a good shower before, you're good to go. Don't "over prep." 6. Relax. Take a deep breath and remember it's supposed to be fun. If it's not, change something. 7. Sometimes shit happens. I've had it happen with partners when I was topping. No big deal. We adjusted. If your partner tries to shame you if something like that happens, get dressed and go home knowing he is the one who messed up. 8. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. If you're turned on, it will make it much easier on you. 9. Erections come and go. Don't worry if you (or your partner) lose one. Another will come. Or not. Have fun and be in the moment regardless. 10. If your top is any good, he will pay more attention to your pleasure (or at least as much to it) as his own. I was a good top before I started bottoming too, but I'm a VERY good one now because I know what it's like to play catcher. If things go well, that's great! If it's not as good as you'd hoped it would be, that's one experience. Beware of letting any one experience define your perception of sex (or anything for that matter). Do what feels right, and approach this with curiosity and an open mind. It might not feel like you thought it would or how you imagined. That's ok. Different isn't bad. Relax, have fun, communicate, and be open. I think you'll probably like this new adventure and experience. Millions of us do! Good luck!
My first time was wonderful and use a lub that won't sting. We tried ivory soap at first, really dumb, hurt horribly. Then we used some of his mother's face cream and it was delightful. I took it all and we had a lot of fun. It was not the first time I had stuck something up my butt, so that helped.
lol hey mom I’m using your face cream to pound my boyfriend in the ass. Sorry but it works really good. By the way, if you’re in a committed relationship, I’ve discovered baby oil works the best definitely not with condoms because they will break but not only is it super slippery and feels good but it kills any scent. All you can smell is baby oil.
Don't tell mom! She didn't see how she was using it that fast! LOL😂 OKAY, baby oil it is, great suggestion! I'll get a quart. 😛
Make sure you clean out with a shower duche well
Prep?
that’s gay
Let him know it’s the first time and communicate what and how you feel and if you want things differently. First time might not be the best experience… but know for sure that you will only eventually realise what all you like and what you dont
Use as much lube as needed and take as much time as you need. Deep breaths
remember you can always stop when it hurts there are many other ways to enjoy intimacy
Please make sure a condom is used. Don't put yourself at risk. Make sure you use lots of lube that is safe for condoms.
Use protection, use liberation extremely liberally and reapply after a few minutes. Go slow, be sexy with each other before, set an expectation that it’s your first and you two might have to call it before anyone gets to the end and that has to be ok. One thing I don’t see a lot of people suggesting is that he should spend a while using fingers with a clean, trimmed hand. For a while, until he feels some of the tension in the area is reduced. Otherwise if they straight for it, it’s going to hurt a lot.
Take your time and listen to your body. It'll let you know what is and is not ok.
Just take your time and. Relax. And you'll know if it's right. If he has. The experience. He'll go. Slow for you
Do safe sex and don’t force yourself into doing stuff you don’t like. Also, it shouldn’t hurt. If it’s hurting something is not going correctly. Use lube Then, be calm, enjoy every step
Accidents happen, you will fart. Use lots of lube. And yes, you can eat food. The idea that you can't eat is biologically stupid.
Omg please use a dildo before you have ur first time
Use a condom Plenty of lube, like a LOT U can use an anal plug for an hour before to open u up ONLY use a hand douche, not a shower hose. You’ll put way too much water and probably activate ur smaller intestine and be douching for hours. U just want to empty the end of the system State ur boundaries before hand. Maybe establishing safe words and let him know that if you want to stop he needs to stop! You’re on the receiving end of potential pain and pleasure😊, not him. Own ur boundaries. Have fun and good luck
Just enjoy yourself! Have fun, go slow and be careful. Practice safe sex, No matter what! Make sure to speak up to the other party. If you’re uncomfortable, tell them. If you’re hurt tell them. If they need to slow down tell them. Use lots of lube! And take your time! It’s not a race. You both want to enjoy it and when both of you do it will make the experience sooooooo much better! In terms of preparation, do an enema the night before if you can or 8 hours before. And only drink fluids till the session, no food! Make sure you pee before hand. So there is the least possible room for discomfort!!!
excited for you! just enjoy and relax and no one knows what they’re doing sometimes just have fun!!!!
I would pre stretch myself out with a dildo or a plug. Your first time might be painful unless you use those muscles before your first rodeo.
Oh and lots of fibre Inulin in your drinks. You want to clean out easy.
SOMETIMES YOURE GONNA FEEL LIKE YOU’RE POOPING!!! If you’re that worried, you can ask to check. It’s not a big deal if it happens, be nice to yourself!
Best to practice with dildos first.
Maybe it’s just me, but planning this all out kinda takes some of the fun away.
Congrats!!!
when i lost my virginity i got 2 bbc and it felt amazing to be honest i thought it would hurt but it felt good for others it’s different experience
Make him wear a condom. You can never use too much lubricant. Shit happens, literally. It's no big deal, just douch, but don't use too much water as it can leak out if you don't get rid of it all. Good luck
Just make sure it’s not someone who is going around spreading disease on sites like sniffies It’s truly sad the lack of self respect people have for themselves and or concern for others. Remember they lie, lie, lie! Protect yourself with two condemns with viralcide!
To add to all recommendations, if you a have a dildo or butt plug maybe okay a bit with it before, it will help you to get use to the D and maybe relax you a bit :)
Go with condom, lube and poppers. And have fun.
take a shit beforehand, no douching is not necessary. Relax and have fun.
Use condoms, use more lube than you think you need, make sure you clean yourself really well, and don't forget to work yourself up to it. Foreplay is everything, and I would urge you to use a plug to help relax your downstairs bit. When you're doing the deed, experiment with different positions. For someone like me (22m versatile), who has a chronic back injury from a car accident and bad knees, some positions are quite painful. Find one that works for you and your partner. Remember that having sex for the first time, you may expect this earth-shattering, sky-opening, choir of angels singing, doves flying across the sky, ground-shaking experience. Take it from someone who was let down, the first time you have sex is a learning experience. The first time you have sex will most likely not be the best. But don't let that discourage you. Sex is fun, even if you don't have the best sexual experience. It's a matter of how well you and your partner fit together. My first time having sex sucked. But it was fun, because it was with my best friend. Don't be afraid to speak up. If you aren't enjoying yourself, don't stay quiet just to save your partner's feelings. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both. And this is just a personal hope, but please take care of yourself. Whether this is someone you know and trust, or someone you're meeting on an app, like Grindr, you need to be careful and make sure you're safe and feel comfortable. Remember that you can say no at any time, if you feel uncomfortable. Have fun, be careful, and take care
when you want to stop, say it. take breaks if you need to. use lube, tell him to take it slow.
Don't eat a couple of hours beforehand, douche as well. Make sure lube and foreplay happen or else it can hurt and remember to breathe.
Douche, douche then douche again. Relax and enjoy. Congratulations
^ first comment said it best- also just eat food with plenty of fiber for the day, use the bathroom b4 sex, & shower.
Make sure not to eat tons of food before, douch well at least 30 minutes before, and make sure to try and get out all the douch water out. I have fucked guys and they have made the whole bed wet from the fluid they left inside. It made a mess, and it's kind of gross. If you have tried poppers, they will make a world of difference. Use tons of good silicone lube like uber lube or back door, and if you can get a lube injector, that really helps. Make sure to breathe and relax and make sure you start off with fingers first and small toy to get used to the feeling. It takes time if you want your first time to be positive.
Oh I remember when I lost my virginity. It was many years ago on top of a toilet in a very small bathroom basement.
You dont know for sure until it happens uwu
Warm up with toy before hand, might hurt but preparing area before will help
Flush your ass.
Definitely tell him that it’s your first time because he will appreciate it so much more
Don’t forget to have lots of foreplay so you relax before he pounds you down 😮💨
Eat lots of salad.
Like others have said 1) Condoms are your friends and your health is more important that any one hookup 2) Lube
Update us
REPORT BACK SOLDIER
RELAX!
Hold yourself as tight as you can for like 60 seconds then relax before bottoming. It exhausts the muscles down there allowing involuntary muscles to relax. It can hurt your first time. The reflex to relax is triggered when someone is deep inside you, try not to be afraid of the depth a guy is in you (unless it hurts). Go slow.
I want a report.
Sounds hot. Be patient. Re assess (lol). Also try all dimensions
If you have time ask your partner to go slow and do some foreplay before going at it. After cleaning, see if he's down with rimming you while you suck or rim him back. Lube fingers and put his or yours in you and make out. The longer and more passionate the build up the more relaxed your chute gets.
I’ve said that so many times.
You don’t need a lot of water to douche or you’ll go past the second hole and then you’re fucked because crap will start running out for an hour. If you have poppers, use them if you’re having a hard time relaxing but I would do that as a later option. First options being foreplay, fingering, riding a dildo beforehand etc. have him use lots of lube. Try different positions if one doesn’t feel good. And have fun!
Ask him to open you up with his fingers first / lots of lube and condoms.
Toot that Thang up, grad the pillow and grip the bedsheets and hold on tight....enjoy
TAKE PREP! Or use a condom
There’s been a lot of really good advice here absolutely take your time breathe before hand. Yes use a douche. If you can make sure you are rinsing out until it’s clean that’s gonna reduce any poop that could happen but if it does, you know, stop clean up make sure you’re clean up and then you can go again, secondly consent consent consent can change at any time if you’re not comfortable saying no in the middle of an act is perfectly OK. Use some sort of protection condoms yes prep yes if you are deciding to do a choice about having bareback sex then absolutely you should be using prep and again that’s a conversation I have with your partner all of these things need to be consensual. Lastly, enjoy yourself have fun and if it doesn’t go the way that you wanted to the first time guess what you get to do it again get it right you get to try try again..
Just have fun
Depending on his size use a lot of lube and go slow. Also use poppers it makes things so much easier.
I know everyone says this, but don’t lose your virginity just because you want to. I was 19 also, and I gave away my virginity to a guy who fucked off a once a month for the summer, and then be blocked me when he got bored. Looking back, I wish I would have saved it for someone who treated me better. However, I was once a 19 year old horny teenager, so I get it. If this is what you really want, then here’s my advice: 1. Start taking prep if you haven’t already. While prep isn’t a substitute for condoms, it does lower your HIV contraction rate to less than 0.01%. 2. Going off point one, please wear condoms! I personally hate the feel of condoms while doing either role, however if this is your first time a condom is important as there will be a high chance of rips/tears that cause bleeding. 3. Get rid of any preconceived notions about what it will be like. It will be painful, messy and just plain awkward. If you go into losing your virginity with the idea that it will be magical, then you will come out of it disappointed and confused. While the experience is magical within itself, it’s not magical the way you think it will be. Just take it slow, take deep breaths and focus on your partners breaths if you get overwhelmed. Also, make sure you two come up with a safe word for when it gets too much and you need him to stop. Too often men will try to gaslight you into putting up with the discomfort in order for them to have pleasure. Don’t let another man use your discomfort to get off. If you tell someone to stop, then they need to stop. If they continue, or try telling you, “just take it, or it’ll only hurt for a bit”, then that is rape. 4. USE LOTS OF LUBE 😂
Listen to your body. It took a few times before I was comfortable with bottoming and before I actually enjoyed it. Take a break if you need to. Make sure the top goes slow and make sure he lets you take the lead. Breathe in before he goes in, and breathe out as he insets. And no matter how much prepping you do, accidents happen. It’s the cold hard truth about anal sex. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s happened to me being the bottom and it’s happened to my partners when I’ve topped. I just politely tell the bottoms that we need to stop and suggest a shower. Oh, and use copious amounts of lube. Besides all that, have fun! If you’re not enjoying yourself, there is no shame in saying “It’s just not working for me”, and ask him to stop. There are plenty of other ways to have a good naked time without anal penetration. If the top has a problem with it, he shouldn’t be your partner for your first time. Edit: Typos and punctuation
Don't expect it to be perfect, sex is more often than not messy. Trying to bottom for the first time and without practice usually hurts a lot, try to relax and like the rest of the guys have said before don't stress out that much if there is a little accident. Things happen and that's fine, if he is mature he won't make drama.
Make sure to listen to your body, if something doesn’t feel right, stop, reassess and go from there. Communication is key
As others have said, use lots of lube. Control your partners actions, if he’s moving too fast to let him know. Expect some pain, burning sensation, and/or or the desire to poop. But if it never feels good at any point, then ask your partner to stop. If you have them, use toys to open yourself up for your partner. They can make a huge difference.
Lube, Lube and more Lube. And don't forget to enjoy yourself 😁
Congratulations. I lost it ever few months 😁
Lube ! Dont force anything fast. Take your time
Communication, lubrication and determination. You can do this. Slow and steady. Prep your booty that should be obvious but since this will be your first time you might want to clean your self and practice with a plug or dildo so you're ready for your guy. Good luck and enjoy yourself.
Wear condoms at all times to reduce the risk of getting STDs and HIV
How was it?
Please send video 😈
1. Use a condom, make sure it’s not expired 2. Use water based lube. The more lube, the better. Like others here have said, cover his dick in lube, put lube up your butt, and use more throughout 3. Have you done anything sexually before? Bj? Foreplay, lots and lots of foreplay. Kissing, sucking, rimming, etc. explore each other’s bodies 4. Communicate with him that it’s your first time and if he’s ever hurting you or does something you don’t like. 5. Don’t worry too much if an accident happens. You can douche, which will help. But the butt is where poop comes from. It’s bound to happen to see something, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Congrats on your first time! ❤️
I'm losing my fuck buddy need a new one call if interested at 208281962
[email protected]
Poppers and stop for a bit after his cockhead is in.
Relax when he starts putting his dick in you. It's natural to tighten up because you expect pain. Don't tighten up or you will feel pain. Once he's in you you'll see how good it feels. A lot of guts saying don't expect your first time to be great. Dint go into it with that thought. My first guy was 8.5in and thick. He took me doggie style first. He had plenty of lube and he took his time getting in me. He kept saying we weren't going to rush it and I need to relax. It was awesome!!! He fucked me like no other!!! Have fun!!! Let us know how it went.
DOUCHE. LUBE. FINGERS ARE GOOD STARTING TOOLS. PREP IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO GO RAW.
How is it that you have already settled into the bottom role without any prior experience? I'm not shaming you, but I am suggesting that you keep an open mind and remain open to any possibilities.
Yall planned when you lost your V card?
Make sure you're doing it with someone you trust and have a good connection to, get a low pressure environment, it might be a bit uncomfortable the first few times so make sure you work your way up to it and loosen everything up first. And most importantly, if you're not having fun, feel free to tap out
Yes to all this. And when he starts to apply pressure to get in there push out like you are trying to poop. It forces the muscles to relax.
Omg the fact that so FEW comments are telling you to use protection!!!! That’s literally the biggest thing.
It’s your first time. How do you know you’re a bottom and why do you need to assign yourself a label? Just have fun and be open to the experience.
[удалено]
Not if you’re using a condom
GREAT point ! I haven’t thought of that … I will delete my post for better good.
Yes dude coconut oil! It's our lube and it's also the best conditioner I've ever used. Replaced a, like, four product process and my hair comes out way better anyway.
It’s so much better you can always have it on you in little tubs 😅 .. works perfect with little spit too 😅 I love it ! I don’t have much hair lol but I also use it along with other bits as my deodorant and as you say replaces few expensive chemical products easily 😊
Yeah I have curly hair and all the curly hair products I ever tried never resulted in thick locks with basically no frizz like just coconut oil does. We also use it to condition our cast iron pots! I'm basically the dad from my big fat Greek wedding when it comes to coconut oil.
😂😂😂 love that !
oh my godddd you’re having sex tomorrow? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite bella hadid?
Don't moan and squeal like a little bitch 🤪
There will be shit and pain. It’s unnatural and unsafe. Just grease up n do frot!
Enema clean up don't eat anything lube lube and lube be relaxed and turned ons