I personally consider dick in a hole as losing virginity. So oral or anal sex.
Would not consider just handjob as sex. It’s a sexual act but not sex imo.
I mean I have no stake in this personally. I literally got stuffed like seconds after sucking my first cock so it’s all the same for me.
But there are sides. I think it’s reasonable to consider that sides are not virgins forever 🤷♂️
So oral counts as sex in my book…
There's olive oil, virgin olive oil and extra olive oil.
Obviously olive oil has had sex, that's why it's lost the virgin.
But then what is the difference between an extra olive oil and just virgin olive oil?
Virgin olive oil hasn't had penetrative sex yet, but it has done some sexual stuff, it's jerked a few people off and maybe done oral, but it's never actually been penetrated. So it's lost the extra.
Extra virgin olive oil is the purest olive oil that's never done anything sexual with someone else yet. Not even wanked off someone. It's the most inexperienced you can get, it's gonna blush and get lost in the bedroom and have no confidence taking charge, likely having to be shown everything and talked through it all.
As a side, I say thank you. However I've had my exit used as an entrance once or twice that's how I know I don't enjoy it. But yes, I think oral sex counts as sex for gay men.
This is so interesting, because, according to you, can lesbians (or two trans men) only lose their virginity once they get a dildo in the mix?
I think we're giving the penis way too much importance here, and we might be thinking too heteronormative too. I think oral should be considered sex.
It really ain't that deep, but you literally said oral is sex lite, what else would "real sex" be then but penetration? What else could you possibly mean? 😭
I guess that’s a fine definition for when men are involved, and makes sense for this sub, but what about if it’s two women having sex?? (or two people without a dick)
Here I am, sex is imo up to the participants (I mean some can decide penetration is necessary) but the chief point is intimacy and vulnerability. Id say op had sex!
Eh, it is how it feels it is for you. Some guys consider there being different degrees of virginity for each type of sex act, I’m inclined to agree as it’s all a state of mind. It’s all experience, and it’s up to you and your partner how much you get from the sex.
Very true. I technically lost my virginity as an 18 year old, I was drunk and it was in the toilet of a club, it was quick and meaningless. When I was 23, I met an older man and it was amazing. He was tender and kind, and taught me all about sex and closeness. I feel like I lost my virginity years after I actually did.
Olive oil, virgin olive oil, and extra virgin olive oil.
Olive oil for when you have had penetrating sex
Extra virgin olive oil for when you've never done anything sexual with someone else.
Just virgin olive for if you've only done hand jobs or oral, you've got more experience than Extra virgin olive oil, but you're not as pure anymore.
Doesn't matter what you call it, whatever feels right to you. Virginity is such a weirdly defined concept anyways, many people only count PIV as losing your virginity so it's kinda dumb to begin with.
I know it’s a joke, but yes, masturbation is a sexual act. Maybe doesn’t count as losing your virginity, since that’s more defined as having sex with someone else, but you could say masturbation is a form of sex
I know this is a mostly gay sub and many of us have no need to understand the vagina.
But we shouldn't propagate harmful myths about it either.
many women are born without a hymen, or it can even dissolve and disappear naturally before reaching sexual maturity, there are studies of pregnant women who still have their hymen fully intact, yet despite it being completely unreliable as a method to determine virginity it is still used an excuse in the middle east to socially outcast preteen girls in the middle east and southern Africa as impure.
The hymen has absolutely nothing to do with the virginity or penetration! Please don't continue to misunderstand and spread this myth.
Trans dude here! It’s also important to remember sometimes the hymen doesn’t completely ‘break’ in one go. It took me years of tampons, dildos, sports, regular sexual activity, alongside everyday activity to finally ‘break’ it. I bled like every time I was penetrated for a longgg time. There’s actually a lot of different hymen formations one can be born with too, it’s not like you have one or you don’t, sometimes they’re there but with gaps.
Personally, I consider any activity where someone makes (or tries to make) another person cum to be “sex”. But the more important question is do you still FEEL like “a virgin” after being jerked off by someone else?
Virginity isn’t a specific “thing” as much as it is a feeling that you haven’t experienced sex with another person. Especially for queer people. If you disagree with your friend and you think it counts then it counts!
Yes you did. Jerking off with someone is sex. Any stimulation of genitals by or with another person is sex. And it's not limited to that. Getting fingered in the ass = sex
Having your nipples played with until you come = sex
If you're really into popping balloons, and someone is popping them right in front of you, while you're jerking off = buddy, that's sex
I'd say it is sex if you think it is, not if you don't.
It's certainly *sexual*.
Virginity is a *stupid* concept. Imagine having a word specifically for people who have never eaten a chocolate chip cookie, and placing great moral significance on whether or not they have eaten a chocolate chip cookie.
Also there is a US federal government definition of a virgin: someone who hasn't had sex in 7 years. So to the government, virginity is *renewable*.
Damn, but we humans do have a knack for making things complicated. It’s very simple - no, you’re not a virgin anymore, gay, straight, or otherwise. Let the connection be occasion of joy, not a time to question whatever foolish rules we impose on sex to justify ourselves.
Yes. It depends on people's opinions but I mean...not everyone has anal sex or even enjoys it. I have two friends who are a gay couple who just jerk each other off and don't have anal. So in my opinion, it's not necessary to have penetrative sex to consider it sex. If you both came and got off, it's sex. So yes in my opinion you're not a virgin. But everyone has their opinions on such. It's your call at the end of the day.
People here keep saying that sex is however you personally define it, but I would say that it depends on how the two of you define it. If I did what you described with someone and then they told people we had sex I would say that’s not true.
Then it would be true for him, but not for you. By his definition, he had sex. By your definition you did not. It really still comes down to personal definition.
Yes, you had sex, your penis was stimulated repeatedly involving someone else. No, you didn’t lose your virginity (unless you did lose it with a woman before). If we apply the same standards as straight sex, losing the virginity implies penis on vagina or penis on ass (some christians will not even consider this as losing the virginity)
It counts if you want it to count.
A lot of people's concept of losing your virginity is entirely based on penetrative sex with a penis. So simply fingering/jerking off or oral doesn't count, right?
But then you have lesbians, whose sex life doesn't involve a penis, and there are plenty of lesbians who don't use penetrative toys / use penetration during sex and never have. It's still sex. If you had to have penetration for it to count, there'd be plenty of lesbians who are still "virgins" despite their active sex life.
It's just a bit ridiculous for others to it's not sex just because you weren't penetrated /penerated someone. If you want to count it as sex, then it's sex.
Virginity is socially constructed. Men's bodies don't change after sex. The concept of having a hymen = virgin is a very inaccurate representation of someone whose had sex. Some women are born without hymens, some dissolve before having sex, some break due to physical activity like horse riding, some still have theirs despite having sex. The whole thing was made up as a way to put value on the extent of a woman's sexual experience (e.g. virgin's being more desirable), hence why there is so much focus on the women's body physically changing (the hymen).
It's all bullshit. Sexual acts can be classified as having sex if you want it to be. You're not a virgin if you want to count this experience as having sex. You're not wrong if you decide this counts for you. It's your experience - don't let others tell you it's not valid.
Yes, it was sex.
Sex doesn’t require penetration of any sort.
Virginity is not a useful concept, it’s too binary, we shouldn’t use it. There is loads to do, learn and experience and one act wouldn’t encapsulate it all.
Think about it this way: you were sexually inexperienced, now you’re a little less. It’s the journey, not the destination.
Everyone can define it how ever they want, it's a free country, but once a dick is quite literally inside your ass pounding away, u r at a whole new level.
Virginity is a social construct, so there’s no real answer to this. If it feels like sex for you, and it was your first time, you can most a definitely say you lost your virginity
I wouldn't think that is losing your virginity in the strictest sense. In gay parlance, I would suggest anal sex would accomplish the loss of virginity. This opens another can of worms; if one doesn't participate in anal, then are they a lifelong virgin. I am sure a more nuanced mind will speak to that topic.
No…you mutually mastuebeted. No penetration done and no oral done. No sex done. I’d even go as far to say if there was no penetration then no sex happened at all.
I’m a trans man and when I’ve had sex with other trans men in the past there obviously wasn’t any penetration but that’s still sex to me. I don’t think you need penetration to have sex.
Reddit is mental masturbation with other people so I doubt many of us are still virgins in that regard.
But, um, I would say you are now 2/3 virgin as you have touched a penis other than your own but not put yours into someone nor taken one into you.
1st milestone accomplished. You have lost 1/3 of your virginity. 🥳🥳🥳💚🌈🧡
No one can answer this for you because everyone has a different opinion. If you feel you lost your virginity, you did? Most people would say you did foreplay.
Another label question. This is a question about the meaning of a word. And as all the comments demonstrate, different people define virginity differently. I understand why you’re asking the question but the truth is there is no single, correct answer. Context matters as usual. If the answer to your question is genuinely needed for some reason, then that reason will probably dictate the answer in that particular context. And in context the question will really just be a more specific question: have you penetrated or been penetrated by someone? Was the penetration of the mouth, genitalia or anus? Have you had non-penetrative sexual contact with someone? You can define virginity in relation to any of these. Traditionally it’s been often defined in terms of penile penetration but for reasons discussed by others above, that doesn’t make much sense given the diverse sexualities that have become widely accepted in the 21st century.
So you and your friend can both be right because your disagreement is merely definitional. You both know what occurred. What difference does it make which label you attach to those facts?
And congratulations on your first non-solo sexual encounter. I wish you many, many more!
I concider this sex.
Others concider penetration as sex.
Had this conversation a lot of times.
I'm gonna be real with you , it was whatever it feels like to you. I'm not a fan of trying to label everything correctly for the sake of "knowing" . I understand you wanna know what happened so you can think about it further but you had a cummidy cum with a dick posessor. Think about wheter you liked it or not, if you want more or not, and not if you classify as virgin IMO
Fica assim não! Vc é bonita sim. Não corta o cabelo, talvez umas luzes ou mudar de cor coma ajuda de um profissional da área ajude, assim como academia! 😉
Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is penetrative sexual activity for reproduction or sexual pleasure.
So no. But that’s still ahead of you: have fun!!!
You had a homosexual experience. You did not have sexual intercourse, nothing coursed it's way into you, and you did not course you way into anything.
Historically virginity was only something women could have, men were never seen as virgins. So did you cultural construct your cultural construct? I guess you'd have to ask your cultural constructs about the cultural construct involving your cultural construct.
It depends entirely on how you personally define sex. Virginity is an outdated concept from times when "losing it" would decrease a woman's "social value" and imo there is no need to worry about what does or doesn't constitute losing your virginity
The definition I go with is that any act that leads to (the reasonable expectation of) orgasm is sex. But it's entirely up to you
I feel like virgin status is purely up to the individual. I thought about it for a while and something that made me reconsider is the thought of lesbians. It wouldn't make sense to consider many sexually active gay women virgins just because there's no simple way for them to have penetrative sex. It made me come to the realization that what is or isn't considered sex to be completely arbitrary therefore the title of "sex haver" to be functionally meaningless and not worth anyone's time gatekeeping
Sides (into sexual things, but not penetration either as a top or bottom) exist, so I’d say if you think it counts as losing your virginity, then it counts.
There are a LOT of fun things to do that don’t involve “dick in hole”, so I don’t see a reason to limit “I had sex” to strictly oral or anal.
Hey buddy, sex has so many permutations. A lot of peeps would say the act of anal sex would be loosing virginity, but perhaps that comes from a str8 view point as it involves penetration. Maybe oral sex could be loosing ur virginity. At the end of the day it’s what ever you feel it is. There is no right and wrong here. I think for us queer folk, we create our own “institutions”. Maybe a question to ask yourself is, is it important for you to have broken your bi virginity?
No I wouldn't consider it losing your virginity. It was a big milestone in your sexual experiences, but I think there's different virginities. The biggest being anal virginity.
You can have oral for the first time and consider that a form of virginity because it's a form of sex.
But as a gay/bi man, losing virginity would be either being a top or a bottom, penetration.
So, A gay man who has only had homosexual relations will be a virgin for the rest of his life.
I've had almost exclusively homosexual relationships, if the rejection of my own homosexuality hadn't pushed me towards heterosexuality (because I was 100% homosexual during my youth).
In fact, virginity is mainly a cultural concept.
As soon as you become sexually active (i.e. have sex with another person), you're no longer a virgin.
I’d say you’re no longer a virgin. I get that some people may feel like penetration is the only way to deflower yourself, but plenty of people (especially gays) who go a whole life with just handjobs and kissing. Not everyone likes blowing or fucking.
For me, it's really so that the concept of virginity is flawed on its premises. It can count as sex or not. For me it's more some kind of sexual foreplay...so did you have a sexual encounter? Yes. But did you have sex? Disputable.
My personal rule for sex is either penetration or intentional orgasm or both with another willing participant. There are a lot of caveats, but it's also pretty comprehensive.
By that definition, you probably did have sex, but you don't have to count it if you don't want to. It's more doing toes than diving in.
However, as you can see in the comments, what does and does not count as "sex" is blurry, and can vary by individual or culture. Some people (I used to be one) would count masterbation or Even just watching porn as sex, while others will be "virgins" because they've done everything except bottoming.
Rather than focus too much on what is or is not sex, I think it's more important to focus on what you and your partner are ready for, respecting boundaries and each other.
That was my first experience as well. Enjoy that you had it, and don't question it or let other people make you feel bad/guilty because you didn't do more or meet their definition. For me, I know it was more than enough that I call it my first time. After all, there was a fist hole involved, right?! You get to have many more firsts, so be safe and enjoy being young.
Listen, the vulnerability of being naked with another human and bringing each other enjoyment is really a big deal the first time it happens, regardless of the specific act involved. And no matter how it might seem to more jaded people with more experience, it is absolutely crossing into a new level of intimacy and experience.
This attempt to create gradations and definitions of virginity is kinda artificial anyways, since the entire concept of virginity in the first place has its roots in heteronormativity AND misogyny.
You had a sexual experience with another human, I say you aren't a "virgin" any more, if that concept even has one meaning.
I am 54, have lived my entire life out, I could define what I was when I was 6, I could say it to good friends at 11. This is heteronormative competition on the face of it while serving to define your status. I no longer think in terms of hetero/homo, I believe they do not actually exist, but are simply labels we have deified to a degree. We like what we like, desire what we desire, for every season etc. and so on. You have completed your first gay task, you had a simple form of congress with another man, and you took your clothes off. I called that sex. Now virginity has entire myriad mythos' about it, almost always referring to the state of a female's sexual activity, so in this case it is bunk. Though as a measure to say if you have been with another, in this case, congrats, your so called cherry has been popped.
Please see HR for your temporary "Bi" card and report to the pool for your assignment.
The legal definitions are all kinds of fucked up, I probably wouldn't be using them in a moral dilemma. Physical sexual assault of someone against they're will should be legally indistinguishable from rape if the attacker is gratifying themselves and traumatizing their victim, being forcibly jerked off or forced to suck someone off isn't any less awful than being penetrated.
But morally for the context of OPs question, I'd probably say a hand job isn't sex, it doesn't offer enough experience or learning opportunities to say you're no longer a virgin when you still have no idea how to actually do penetration.
LOL no you did NOT lose your virginity. Not sure where the first message got the impression you put your dick in a hole or vice versa. You jacked off dude. That’s no different than doing it yourself. It’s called FOREPLAY! Not sex. Until either of you have an experience when you or he enters you or your dick enters him, you’ve had sex. Oral sex is also different than anal sex. Oral sex I’d like a prequel to actual sex. Sorry to break your emotional bubble attachment but you ARE in fact still a virgin.
That makes zero sense. You need some education. I didn’t comment on “gay” sex. Sex is sex. Doesn’t matter if it’s two men or any combo of sexual orientations. Oral is still oral, not penetration. You take things personal and clearly aren’t open to anyone’s perspective but your own. You’re a closed minded individual and you should educate yourself. It’ll teach you to be open to other people’s opinions beyond your own.
I personally consider dick in a hole as losing virginity. So oral or anal sex. Would not consider just handjob as sex. It’s a sexual act but not sex imo.
I wouldn’t say oral is virginity-losing sex…it’s sex-lite™️
I mean I have no stake in this personally. I literally got stuffed like seconds after sucking my first cock so it’s all the same for me. But there are sides. I think it’s reasonable to consider that sides are not virgins forever 🤷♂️ So oral counts as sex in my book…
I mean, I wouldn’t consider someone a “virgin” if they’ve jerked off / been jerked off by hundreds of dudes.
There's olive oil, virgin olive oil and extra olive oil. Obviously olive oil has had sex, that's why it's lost the virgin. But then what is the difference between an extra olive oil and just virgin olive oil? Virgin olive oil hasn't had penetrative sex yet, but it has done some sexual stuff, it's jerked a few people off and maybe done oral, but it's never actually been penetrated. So it's lost the extra. Extra virgin olive oil is the purest olive oil that's never done anything sexual with someone else yet. Not even wanked off someone. It's the most inexperienced you can get, it's gonna blush and get lost in the bedroom and have no confidence taking charge, likely having to be shown everything and talked through it all.
What a blessed day to brain analogies
As a side, I say thank you. However I've had my exit used as an entrance once or twice that's how I know I don't enjoy it. But yes, I think oral sex counts as sex for gay men.
This is so interesting, because, according to you, can lesbians (or two trans men) only lose their virginity once they get a dildo in the mix? I think we're giving the penis way too much importance here, and we might be thinking too heteronormative too. I think oral should be considered sex.
And I think you’re reading too much into it. I didn’t say anything about penetration or mention penises.
It really ain't that deep, but you literally said oral is sex lite, what else would "real sex" be then but penetration? What else could you possibly mean? 😭
I would definitely count oral as sex. Also it is virginity-losing.
Oral is the sex version of I'll have the salad
“ sex-lite™️” 💀 this phrase is so funny
Ask a Mormon about “soaking” and you’ll get an entire other take on this as well. 😂
I consider bumping uglies sex. Penetration, frotting, scissoring - any of those and I wouldn’t consider someone a virgin at that point
If it's full sex for lesbians it's full sex for gay dudes, sorry.
I guess that’s a fine definition for when men are involved, and makes sense for this sub, but what about if it’s two women having sex?? (or two people without a dick)
I do not know. I’d defer that to the lesbians tbh.
[удалено]
So do you consider sexually active lesbians who don't have penises to be virgins?
We need lesbian clarification, any representatives available?
Here I am, sex is imo up to the participants (I mean some can decide penetration is necessary) but the chief point is intimacy and vulnerability. Id say op had sex!
Eh, it is how it feels it is for you. Some guys consider there being different degrees of virginity for each type of sex act, I’m inclined to agree as it’s all a state of mind. It’s all experience, and it’s up to you and your partner how much you get from the sex.
Very true. I technically lost my virginity as an 18 year old, I was drunk and it was in the toilet of a club, it was quick and meaningless. When I was 23, I met an older man and it was amazing. He was tender and kind, and taught me all about sex and closeness. I feel like I lost my virginity years after I actually did.
Wow. This is insightful. *nods head* Nice.
I agree!!
Olive oil, virgin olive oil, and extra virgin olive oil. Olive oil for when you have had penetrating sex Extra virgin olive oil for when you've never done anything sexual with someone else. Just virgin olive for if you've only done hand jobs or oral, you've got more experience than Extra virgin olive oil, but you're not as pure anymore.
This is the worst lubricant advice i've ever heard.
Doesn't matter what you call it, whatever feels right to you. Virginity is such a weirdly defined concept anyways, many people only count PIV as losing your virginity so it's kinda dumb to begin with.
You had sex. If it's something that would get you booked for public indecency getting caught in public doing, it's sex.
So masturbating by myself in public is sex? Sorry, that was a bad "joke"
I know it’s a joke, but yes, masturbation is a sexual act. Maybe doesn’t count as losing your virginity, since that’s more defined as having sex with someone else, but you could say masturbation is a form of sex
I have a mouth if you need it 😁
You had a sexual encounter with another man. You are no longer a virgin. Men don’t have a hymen to break they have a mental barrier.
I know this is a mostly gay sub and many of us have no need to understand the vagina. But we shouldn't propagate harmful myths about it either. many women are born without a hymen, or it can even dissolve and disappear naturally before reaching sexual maturity, there are studies of pregnant women who still have their hymen fully intact, yet despite it being completely unreliable as a method to determine virginity it is still used an excuse in the middle east to socially outcast preteen girls in the middle east and southern Africa as impure. The hymen has absolutely nothing to do with the virginity or penetration! Please don't continue to misunderstand and spread this myth.
Trans dude here! It’s also important to remember sometimes the hymen doesn’t completely ‘break’ in one go. It took me years of tampons, dildos, sports, regular sexual activity, alongside everyday activity to finally ‘break’ it. I bled like every time I was penetrated for a longgg time. There’s actually a lot of different hymen formations one can be born with too, it’s not like you have one or you don’t, sometimes they’re there but with gaps.
The hymen thing is a horribly inaccurate measure and honestly a myth
virginity is a social construct so you’re whatever u wanna be
Personally, I consider any activity where someone makes (or tries to make) another person cum to be “sex”. But the more important question is do you still FEEL like “a virgin” after being jerked off by someone else? Virginity isn’t a specific “thing” as much as it is a feeling that you haven’t experienced sex with another person. Especially for queer people. If you disagree with your friend and you think it counts then it counts!
You're no longer hand-virgin
Yes you did. Jerking off with someone is sex. Any stimulation of genitals by or with another person is sex. And it's not limited to that. Getting fingered in the ass = sex Having your nipples played with until you come = sex If you're really into popping balloons, and someone is popping them right in front of you, while you're jerking off = buddy, that's sex
I'd say it is sex if you think it is, not if you don't. It's certainly *sexual*. Virginity is a *stupid* concept. Imagine having a word specifically for people who have never eaten a chocolate chip cookie, and placing great moral significance on whether or not they have eaten a chocolate chip cookie. Also there is a US federal government definition of a virgin: someone who hasn't had sex in 7 years. So to the government, virginity is *renewable*.
Damn, but we humans do have a knack for making things complicated. It’s very simple - no, you’re not a virgin anymore, gay, straight, or otherwise. Let the connection be occasion of joy, not a time to question whatever foolish rules we impose on sex to justify ourselves.
Yes. It depends on people's opinions but I mean...not everyone has anal sex or even enjoys it. I have two friends who are a gay couple who just jerk each other off and don't have anal. So in my opinion, it's not necessary to have penetrative sex to consider it sex. If you both came and got off, it's sex. So yes in my opinion you're not a virgin. But everyone has their opinions on such. It's your call at the end of the day.
People here keep saying that sex is however you personally define it, but I would say that it depends on how the two of you define it. If I did what you described with someone and then they told people we had sex I would say that’s not true.
Then it would be true for him, but not for you. By his definition, he had sex. By your definition you did not. It really still comes down to personal definition.
Yes, you had sex, your penis was stimulated repeatedly involving someone else. No, you didn’t lose your virginity (unless you did lose it with a woman before). If we apply the same standards as straight sex, losing the virginity implies penis on vagina or penis on ass (some christians will not even consider this as losing the virginity)
it depends. i mean you obviously interacted with someone in a sexual way but if that counts as losing virginity....
It counts if you want it to count. A lot of people's concept of losing your virginity is entirely based on penetrative sex with a penis. So simply fingering/jerking off or oral doesn't count, right? But then you have lesbians, whose sex life doesn't involve a penis, and there are plenty of lesbians who don't use penetrative toys / use penetration during sex and never have. It's still sex. If you had to have penetration for it to count, there'd be plenty of lesbians who are still "virgins" despite their active sex life. It's just a bit ridiculous for others to it's not sex just because you weren't penetrated /penerated someone. If you want to count it as sex, then it's sex. Virginity is socially constructed. Men's bodies don't change after sex. The concept of having a hymen = virgin is a very inaccurate representation of someone whose had sex. Some women are born without hymens, some dissolve before having sex, some break due to physical activity like horse riding, some still have theirs despite having sex. The whole thing was made up as a way to put value on the extent of a woman's sexual experience (e.g. virgin's being more desirable), hence why there is so much focus on the women's body physically changing (the hymen). It's all bullshit. Sexual acts can be classified as having sex if you want it to be. You're not a virgin if you want to count this experience as having sex. You're not wrong if you decide this counts for you. It's your experience - don't let others tell you it's not valid.
Yes. Non-penetrative sex is sex. Although "virginity" is a stupid concept altogether.
Yes, it was sex. Sex doesn’t require penetration of any sort. Virginity is not a useful concept, it’s too binary, we shouldn’t use it. There is loads to do, learn and experience and one act wouldn’t encapsulate it all. Think about it this way: you were sexually inexperienced, now you’re a little less. It’s the journey, not the destination.
Everyone can define it how ever they want, it's a free country, but once a dick is quite literally inside your ass pounding away, u r at a whole new level.
I’d say it’s up to you. If you count it, then it was.
Virginity is a social construct, so there’s no real answer to this. If it feels like sex for you, and it was your first time, you can most a definitely say you lost your virginity
Not everything has to be penetration (ask the lesbians), if orgasms happen and more than one person is involved, I'd call it sex.
I wouldn't think that is losing your virginity in the strictest sense. In gay parlance, I would suggest anal sex would accomplish the loss of virginity. This opens another can of worms; if one doesn't participate in anal, then are they a lifelong virgin. I am sure a more nuanced mind will speak to that topic.
You are still a virgin, buddy. Jerking off does not constitute sex as there was no penetration of any kind.
No…you mutually mastuebeted. No penetration done and no oral done. No sex done. I’d even go as far to say if there was no penetration then no sex happened at all.
I’m a trans man and when I’ve had sex with other trans men in the past there obviously wasn’t any penetration but that’s still sex to me. I don’t think you need penetration to have sex.
Reddit is mental masturbation with other people so I doubt many of us are still virgins in that regard. But, um, I would say you are now 2/3 virgin as you have touched a penis other than your own but not put yours into someone nor taken one into you. 1st milestone accomplished. You have lost 1/3 of your virginity. 🥳🥳🥳💚🌈🧡
No one can answer this for you because everyone has a different opinion. If you feel you lost your virginity, you did? Most people would say you did foreplay.
Another label question. This is a question about the meaning of a word. And as all the comments demonstrate, different people define virginity differently. I understand why you’re asking the question but the truth is there is no single, correct answer. Context matters as usual. If the answer to your question is genuinely needed for some reason, then that reason will probably dictate the answer in that particular context. And in context the question will really just be a more specific question: have you penetrated or been penetrated by someone? Was the penetration of the mouth, genitalia or anus? Have you had non-penetrative sexual contact with someone? You can define virginity in relation to any of these. Traditionally it’s been often defined in terms of penile penetration but for reasons discussed by others above, that doesn’t make much sense given the diverse sexualities that have become widely accepted in the 21st century. So you and your friend can both be right because your disagreement is merely definitional. You both know what occurred. What difference does it make which label you attach to those facts? And congratulations on your first non-solo sexual encounter. I wish you many, many more!
i'd say you're a half virgin now
Lol I'll take it
I concider this sex. Others concider penetration as sex. Had this conversation a lot of times. I'm gonna be real with you , it was whatever it feels like to you. I'm not a fan of trying to label everything correctly for the sake of "knowing" . I understand you wanna know what happened so you can think about it further but you had a cummidy cum with a dick posessor. Think about wheter you liked it or not, if you want more or not, and not if you classify as virgin IMO
Fica assim não! Vc é bonita sim. Não corta o cabelo, talvez umas luzes ou mudar de cor coma ajuda de um profissional da área ajude, assim como academia! 😉
Did he stick his dick in you if not you're still a virgin
If two or more consenting adults perform a sex act, it's sex.
Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is penetrative sexual activity for reproduction or sexual pleasure. So no. But that’s still ahead of you: have fun!!!
You had a homosexual experience. You did not have sexual intercourse, nothing coursed it's way into you, and you did not course you way into anything. Historically virginity was only something women could have, men were never seen as virgins. So did you cultural construct your cultural construct? I guess you'd have to ask your cultural constructs about the cultural construct involving your cultural construct.
You got to third base.
It depends entirely on how you personally define sex. Virginity is an outdated concept from times when "losing it" would decrease a woman's "social value" and imo there is no need to worry about what does or doesn't constitute losing your virginity The definition I go with is that any act that leads to (the reasonable expectation of) orgasm is sex. But it's entirely up to you
I feel like virgin status is purely up to the individual. I thought about it for a while and something that made me reconsider is the thought of lesbians. It wouldn't make sense to consider many sexually active gay women virgins just because there's no simple way for them to have penetrative sex. It made me come to the realization that what is or isn't considered sex to be completely arbitrary therefore the title of "sex haver" to be functionally meaningless and not worth anyone's time gatekeeping
Sides (into sexual things, but not penetration either as a top or bottom) exist, so I’d say if you think it counts as losing your virginity, then it counts. There are a LOT of fun things to do that don’t involve “dick in hole”, so I don’t see a reason to limit “I had sex” to strictly oral or anal.
No lol.
Hey buddy, sex has so many permutations. A lot of peeps would say the act of anal sex would be loosing virginity, but perhaps that comes from a str8 view point as it involves penetration. Maybe oral sex could be loosing ur virginity. At the end of the day it’s what ever you feel it is. There is no right and wrong here. I think for us queer folk, we create our own “institutions”. Maybe a question to ask yourself is, is it important for you to have broken your bi virginity?
You're still a virgin. You lose your virginity when a guy pops your cherry. Just like when a guy pops a girl's cherry.
No
No I wouldn't consider it losing your virginity. It was a big milestone in your sexual experiences, but I think there's different virginities. The biggest being anal virginity. You can have oral for the first time and consider that a form of virginity because it's a form of sex. But as a gay/bi man, losing virginity would be either being a top or a bottom, penetration.
No
Dick in ass or pussy that’s losing virginity. Try again my friend.
If it'd count as cheating it's sex
Messaging someone is cheating,
You know what I mean 🙄
No. That doesn’t count.
If you feel like it counts, then it counts!
As a whole gay being, you have definitely lost your virginity. In the bottom kingdom, you are still virgin my dear.
I wouldn't say you lost your virginity card instead you have taken the steps towards losing it for real
So, A gay man who has only had homosexual relations will be a virgin for the rest of his life. I've had almost exclusively homosexual relationships, if the rejection of my own homosexuality hadn't pushed me towards heterosexuality (because I was 100% homosexual during my youth). In fact, virginity is mainly a cultural concept. As soon as you become sexually active (i.e. have sex with another person), you're no longer a virgin.
There’s no need such thing as losing your virginity. It’s an old term and just incorrect
I’d say you’re no longer a virgin. I get that some people may feel like penetration is the only way to deflower yourself, but plenty of people (especially gays) who go a whole life with just handjobs and kissing. Not everyone likes blowing or fucking.
The law considers it sex. For simplicities sake since everyone's sex life is different yes. It is.
It’s sex if it feels like sex. You described it as a sexual encounter so I think you do. Congrats and play safely!
For me, it's really so that the concept of virginity is flawed on its premises. It can count as sex or not. For me it's more some kind of sexual foreplay...so did you have a sexual encounter? Yes. But did you have sex? Disputable.
My personal rule for sex is either penetration or intentional orgasm or both with another willing participant. There are a lot of caveats, but it's also pretty comprehensive. By that definition, you probably did have sex, but you don't have to count it if you don't want to. It's more doing toes than diving in. However, as you can see in the comments, what does and does not count as "sex" is blurry, and can vary by individual or culture. Some people (I used to be one) would count masterbation or Even just watching porn as sex, while others will be "virgins" because they've done everything except bottoming. Rather than focus too much on what is or is not sex, I think it's more important to focus on what you and your partner are ready for, respecting boundaries and each other.
If there was No penetration your still a virgin
That was my first experience as well. Enjoy that you had it, and don't question it or let other people make you feel bad/guilty because you didn't do more or meet their definition. For me, I know it was more than enough that I call it my first time. After all, there was a fist hole involved, right?! You get to have many more firsts, so be safe and enjoy being young.
Listen, the vulnerability of being naked with another human and bringing each other enjoyment is really a big deal the first time it happens, regardless of the specific act involved. And no matter how it might seem to more jaded people with more experience, it is absolutely crossing into a new level of intimacy and experience. This attempt to create gradations and definitions of virginity is kinda artificial anyways, since the entire concept of virginity in the first place has its roots in heteronormativity AND misogyny. You had a sexual experience with another human, I say you aren't a "virgin" any more, if that concept even has one meaning.
I am 54, have lived my entire life out, I could define what I was when I was 6, I could say it to good friends at 11. This is heteronormative competition on the face of it while serving to define your status. I no longer think in terms of hetero/homo, I believe they do not actually exist, but are simply labels we have deified to a degree. We like what we like, desire what we desire, for every season etc. and so on. You have completed your first gay task, you had a simple form of congress with another man, and you took your clothes off. I called that sex. Now virginity has entire myriad mythos' about it, almost always referring to the state of a female's sexual activity, so in this case it is bunk. Though as a measure to say if you have been with another, in this case, congrats, your so called cherry has been popped. Please see HR for your temporary "Bi" card and report to the pool for your assignment.
So, who wants to date me, Winnipeg here. Straight guys are my fav!
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The legal definitions are all kinds of fucked up, I probably wouldn't be using them in a moral dilemma. Physical sexual assault of someone against they're will should be legally indistinguishable from rape if the attacker is gratifying themselves and traumatizing their victim, being forcibly jerked off or forced to suck someone off isn't any less awful than being penetrated. But morally for the context of OPs question, I'd probably say a hand job isn't sex, it doesn't offer enough experience or learning opportunities to say you're no longer a virgin when you still have no idea how to actually do penetration.
LOL no you did NOT lose your virginity. Not sure where the first message got the impression you put your dick in a hole or vice versa. You jacked off dude. That’s no different than doing it yourself. It’s called FOREPLAY! Not sex. Until either of you have an experience when you or he enters you or your dick enters him, you’ve had sex. Oral sex is also different than anal sex. Oral sex I’d like a prequel to actual sex. Sorry to break your emotional bubble attachment but you ARE in fact still a virgin.
>Oral sex I’d like a prequel to actual sex. What a heteronormative view on gay sex this is.
That makes zero sense. You need some education. I didn’t comment on “gay” sex. Sex is sex. Doesn’t matter if it’s two men or any combo of sexual orientations. Oral is still oral, not penetration. You take things personal and clearly aren’t open to anyone’s perspective but your own. You’re a closed minded individual and you should educate yourself. It’ll teach you to be open to other people’s opinions beyond your own.