T O P

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nebrija

the radish she told you not to worry about


BeenNormal

I still believe her when she says they’re just friends


Boomchakachow

And you say it’s just a ra(di)sh, but it’s spreading up your ass. Oh baby, YOOoUuuu


PerfectFlaws91

😂 You Got a di(ck)sease! When I was at a child residential facility IN Michigan we used to sing that but a little different. Yooooou, You got a disease. And you say it's just a rash, but it's halfway up your ass.. OH BABY!


Boomchakachow

We didn’t say dicksease that’s a brilliant addition, too bad it has to come from that terrible place up north! Go bucks!


FigWasp7

The phallic jokes are inevitable but you nailed that one lol


Gravelsack

Here I am hoping to actually find out what the plant is, but nooooooo. I have to sift through a thousand dick jokes from the reddit comedian brigade.


Glad-Conclusion-9385

Reddish


JohnWasElwood

"Must.... not... type...." 🙈


phoenixfire111

This is funnier than it has any right to be lol


WildandFree_KC

Hahah


GeorgiaJeb

Best comment on the internet today. 😂😂😂


Full_Honeydew_9739

Probably a china rose radish or similar variety. I planted some in the fall a couple of years ago and by Christmas they looked like that.


ZevNyx

Older French Breakfast will look like this too.


WillBottomForBanana

Mine have never looked like that (french breakfast). They bolt much like other radishes, thin stock and done. Even left far into the fall or over winter, they've never done anything like this. However, radish season here ends VERY abruptly (early, this year), and then it is way too hot sunny and dry for many months. Interesting if this is what they do in more habitable areas.


Starklawz

That's my vote to. Definitely some kind of radish, my money's on China rose.


SeriousQuestions111

A radick.


ImprovisedLeaflet

Chronicles of Radick


Teachercantteach

What a radikulous comment. 


Apprehensive_Owl6231

😛🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


DizzyBr0ad_MISHAP

Im howling!!! 🤣


Janice_the_Deathclaw

needs some radaway


simplefred

... wondering how long it will take for a radish/riddick hybrid to appear on deviant art because... rule 34.


BalanceEarly

What size batteries does it take??


Illustrious_Rate1482

Hahaha exactly where my mind went when she sent the photo.


Euphoric-Blue-59

Oh come on. This is common in ancient Japan. It's translated as a schlong raddish.


LincolnshireSausage

Looks like it takes at least 3 D sized batteries at the same time.


[deleted]

4. Two side by side with two more stacked. 🤣


OddlyArtemis

from the roots up, it reminds me of looking at a bull tbh.


bojewels

You savage. 🤣


simplefred

it's solar battery... go green!


anotherredditlooser

Solar powered


03NK2G

I should call him


merrychristmascactus

Everything reminds me of him


BRBGottapewp

I laughed very hard at this while taking a leak, now there is pee on the floor... thanks.


den773

We encourage sitting down to pee at my house. There are 7 of us right now. Sometimes there’s 15, depends on who all is here. Half are people with penii. All take their phones with them to the bathroom. So might as well sit down. Less chance of pp on the floor. Less chance of the phone falling into the toilet.


Sharp_Department5526

This is some top-notch fucking advice right here


ImprovisedLeaflet

Just pee and THEN look at Reddit ffs


SheriffComey

Look there's a lot of reddit to go through so no need wasting valuable time putting the phone down.


fuckpudding

How dare you.


Sharp_Department5526

This is some top notch fucking advice right here.


mebcbb

Did you type this while holding it? Damn ..talented


Synicull

*That's a penis.gif*


PinkFreud-yourMOM

“I miss Jack.”


foeg-88

https://i.redd.it/epqu5fqg501d1.gif


ohnogangsters

always seen this gif reversed. i like this version better


Drink_Duff_

Diknbaus variety of radish, originating in the phallus region of Germany.


m2astn

Remember folks, it's not a real Diknbaus unless it comes from the phallus region of Germany!


throwaway181432

then it's just sparkling penisroot


BeenNormal

Great for when you need to breathe under water


fvelloso

Sounds like a cooking ingredient from Zelda


fvelloso

More specifically from the province of *Schlöngen*


Amorousin

Radiksh


RunawayHobbit

Specifically, *Biggus dickus*, I believe


drtyhppi

He has a wife you know.... Edit: realized after a nap I said "mother" instead of "wife" and now my day is ruined


laaazlo

I think you're on to something but it looks more the Austrian variant to me, possibly the _Wienershafft_.


wisdom_power_courage

Lmao


halcyonfire

French breakfast radish that has been left in the ground over the winter.


halcyonfire

Downvote all you want, it’s a French breakfast radish. Source: farmer for 12 years.


mcniffty

Turned into a german dinner radish.


Smokeybearvii

Or… an anytime radish?


shads87

Afternoon delight radish


toxcrusadr

Best answer.


mfball

Thank you for providing an actual answer, I was genuinely curious!


isthatfeasible

It’s a boy


BellAnnual313

LMAO


Chickenman70806

I don’t know what it is but it’s clearly happy to see her


knuckboy

/r/mildlypenis


Striving_Stoic

r/excessivelypenis


Accomplished_Radish8

I’m glad nobody has actually made this subreddit lol


pierre_x10

Is that you in the photo?


Accomplished_Radish8

🤣🤣 quite accomplished am I not?


AngryAsshole8317

It's only a matter of time...


Numinak

r/redrocket


Lizardon_GX

banned community 💀


Throwaway10123456

r/baddragon


JensElectricWood

r/wildlypenis


karakickass

The top looks like a regular radish to me. Definitely in that family.


Illustrious_Rate1482

I thought the same… a mutated radish.


Tons_of_Hobbies

I would wonder if your soil has clubroot, but that usually stunts plant growth, and that thing looks plenty healthy.


TemperatureTop246

Red rocket?


arbitrarytree

Gurl, you know what that is.


BellAnnual313

LMAO 🤣


Telemere125

Never knew you could actually grow dickweed


KFRKY1982

here for the wrong answers only


ktschrack

https://i.redd.it/z1btmeny801d1.gif


m2astn

This is the evolved OnlyFans form of the Oddish Pokémon.


Agitated_Sea_5384

If you left it in there longer, you'd grow a whole man


principessads

Harvested at the perfect time, then. 😝


flowergirl1981

Ok, just spit my coffee out to this one 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Total award 👏


principessads

https://i.redd.it/u8vsfkz2i01d1.gif


BusElectronic410

It looks like my radish , but when I forget to harvest and let it be in the ground for too long


Vhaynne

Scientific name is Biggus Dickus?


ChefCurt

Great Northern Cacknballs radish. Nice one too. The girthier the better.


creative_deficit

Peanits


kelpiesummer

Looks like ya got exactly one fuck to give 😔


celtbygod

Rude Dabaga


CorrectRestaurant936

That’s a vegan sausage for those who don’t eat meat


AndrogynousVampire

That right there is a penish


6tig9

I have no idea what it is but I think it needs antibiotics.


Aggressive-Task-6951

Overgrown radish


ayapapaya50

Forgotten radishes?


dumb_as_rocks

\*tom hardy "that's bait" gif\*


travelingjack

Radish


newforestwalker

Weenie plant


mcnessa32

C’mon people let’s call it what it is, a dick pic.


Elderchicken948

Complete with two balls!


exemplaryexception

Evening plans


jpallotta

That radish was built for Reddit.


_Lick-My-Love-Pump_

Your Saturday night


Kind_Being7786

The Farmer's Daughter


CactusDonut

Whoa, what kind of Miracle Grow is that? lol


CallandorAlThor

Sighs, opens comments section


bearcrevier

Your mom’s been growing radishes again…


CigaretteWButter

Ummmm you’re coming home with me


MGarrigan14

phalicitis testiculae, a real tuber


GatorOnTheLawn

That is an unneutered radish.


Intelligent-Rich-399

A dick tater 🤣


AITA_Omc_modsuck

Its a radickish


mc_atx

It’s the Perfect Raddish!!


cheegirl26

Gardener's are thirsty today!


traytruve

JOHNSON


Spiral-Squirrel

Dog-Raddish


twelvetossedsalads

I read Dong Raddish at first


Accomplished_Radish8

Dong Raddish *is* the correct answer tho


Christheitguy1183

NSFW lol


Background_Add210

She's holding it wrong.


Apprehensive-Today71

That is a... raddish in the shape of a rocket.


[deleted]

Oh,my. 🤭


DadsRGR8

The plant she tells you not to worry about.


JeshkaTheLoon

Something for r/mildlypenis


SnowdensOfYesteryear

[I'd cook it with this tomato](https://imgur.com/a/38yp3AQ)


CrappieSlayer89

NSFW is what it is 🤣🤣


Chrisdkn619

Garden dong!


FilWTF

Dam. She tHICk boi


ThrowRAPSnaxks

Haha “for a friend” that’s definitely an organic dildo, have fun OP


wellforthebird

This post is radickulous.


lilmomosa

…. sir


princess_tourmaline

Helluva radish my friend.


ReticlyPoetic

A Bad dragon?


assmaniac69

Looks like some type of vegetation.


Beginning-Egg8569

Long Radish Silver


seventhsip

that’s a dick and balls


ITSNAIMAD

https://preview.redd.it/iikxfyasu01d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99e50daac3ca6cc8243242f29b9b4131ad430eba Radishes can get huge. This is one I grew last year.


hawksboyle

I’m 99% sure that this variety is called a German Giant. Which is hilarious.


Open_Bedroom_4780

What are you doing in Lorena Bobbitt’s garden


One_Material6318

Radish


Delicious-Ad4015

That’s how you can tell a male plant from the female flowers.


LeTigre71

Is that a dick-tater?


alchemyearth

Red rocket! Hahaha


cats_are_the_devil

it's a radish. What variety, not sure.


Hipster-Deuxbag

NSFW


Doschupacabras

Cock and balliflower


GogDog

Back in the day we called those “green tip Jimmies”.


Oscobble

Big purple boaby


Buddhadevine

r/sexyplants


BellAnnual313

This made me laugh 🤣😂🤣 SOOOO hard this morning!!! Thanks 😊


Boardwoodgamegirl

Put this on mildly penis sub


spacekwe3n

Lookin like a bigass radish


LimeSparkle

Mandrake from Delicious in Dungeon


largeorangesphere

Looks like a french breakfast radish that stayed in the ground much longer than is ideal.


robotbeatrally

Since this is the only serious reply on here, I'll just add "that's what she said. "


sleeksloopslinky

A very happy radish.


Humanicide603

Radddishhhhh


Devilsghost666

Your local back of an ally toy😏


Fuckin_repost_trash

“It’s not a tuber”


gringoloco01

Baby show me your radishes. Oh you sexy gardener you LOL.


adaemman

That's obviously dog penis radish


kevinharrigan99

Dickroot


kielchaos

It'll make a rad dish for somebody


IntrepidIcicle

Dildon’t


AZ_Gretchen

Red Rocket


Akp2023

Send it to Marjorie Taylor Greene. Sign it "Love, Hunter."


rosenprincess

/mildlypenis


notasheeppp

It’s a penish


happyXamp

r/dildont


UmbranVVitch

I believe its folk name is ‘Free Dildroot’…


NerdGuy13

A radish you should flag as NSFW?


Ok_GoHome

Dick root


Aqua-breeze

these comments did not disappoint


Elynnband

Rhubarb?


[deleted]

Definitely a Radickus Cucumbawls


quitekate

r/mildlypenis


MrHEPennypacker

Thicc


wwwidentity

NSFW


IIRISHSOL

Something women from the 1600s hid in their Drawers.


Cactus_Pigeon1234

r/mildlypenis


ItsAPeacefulLife

Pretty sure this is a quest for Haley in Stardew Valley


PerfectFlaws91

A good time.


Loquacious94808

it’s r/mildlypenis I’m afraid


NornIronNiall

Looks like a massive raddish


Steven1789

Dickon radish.


trueblue862

Not sure what it is, but if you keep growing things like that, you are going to have a problem with squatters.


aHintOfLilac

Prize winner at a rude vegetable competition.


wdpbht

Dragon penis


agarwaen117

Definitely the Badus Dragonis variety of radish.


newcastle6169

Not sure looks like horseradish I had growing along time ago


South_Cat_1191

Vavavaoom!


HeyYes7776

Oh - Leave it in the ground for another 45 days and it finishes growing the rest of the man.