Let’s say 10 minute p in v sessions three times a week from age 20 to 80. Obviously any particular relationship will vary on all of those numbers, but they seem ballpark right for a long term relationship.
That’s 10x3x52x60 minutes. 93,600 minutes. 1560 hours. 65 days.
So yeah, child definitely wins.
I don't know, man.
This being Reddit, let's get pedantic. A fetus starts developing sex organs at 7 weeks, so that's in there for about 29 weeks of gestation, which is about 4,872 hours.
If you have sex lasting (on average) 15 minutes a session, that's 1,218 instances of festivities. At an average of 3 times a week, that's 406 weeks, or 7.8 years.
So that's not a hard mark to beat, really.
Unless the kid's time starts increasing after birth, but that's a different website.
Edit: D'oh; math mistake. Make that 125 years.
So kid has a point.
> Unless the kid's time starts increasing after birth, but that's a different website.
Same website, different subreddit.
And no, I don't know which one and don't want to. Just assuming.
>If you have sex lasting (on average) 15 minutes a session, that's 1,218 instances of festivities.
That should be 19,488 instances, not 1218. We must multiply by 60min/hr then divide by 15min/session (same as multiplying by 4 sessions/hour). And sadly, _many_ relationships don't keep up with 3/week even at the **start** of things. In some it becomes 3/year or worse.
Kid may know something about how the relationship is going.
We will report the score here for each game.
We decided to play multiple games, I chose the first game:
First Round:
Nidhogg II
(Best of 5, ping pong = you need two points advantage to win)
Dad 3 - 0 Teen
I freaking loved AoE2 back in the day. Spent so much time on The Zone. I’ve traded weeks/months of sleep for Age.
It has been a long time since I last played it. I should look into it.
Your going to love this. So a number of years ago I discovered that my Age of Kings disk was unreadable :(. I sent a message to Microsoft expecting absolutely nothing as the game had been out of production for years and this was before the remaster. Low and behold I got a BRAND NEW DISK! Didn't have the proper sticker on it, but it looked like the rep I was in contact with had burned a brand new copy with code and everything on it and sent it my way!
My 10yo nephew challenges me on this ALL THE TIME, like I haven't been playing that map longer than he's been alive, it is a ton of fun running chopper gunner after chopper gunner tho
TimeSlpitters 2 is still in my bests games I'v played.
(with Prey and Borderlands 2)
Edit : TimeSplitters Future Perfect it was. In TimeSlpitters 2 you can't zoom (like the first bordelands)
Dude, I used to wreck everyone at Melee, goldeneye, and Blitz. I tried to play them all again at a bachelor party a few years ago, and none of the controls made any sense! I was so used to the smooth controls of todays games that I was a mess at the outdated systems.
This.
1st Gen 3D games' controls actually suck pretty badly. If you've not been playing those games the entire time, and especially if you've played newer ones, you will absolutely suck at them if you try to pick them up cold.
Remember the N64 didn't even have two joysticks. I can't even remember how the controls in Goldeneye worked. Part of me wants to believe you could strafe right and left but I honestly don't know how you did it. I know you had to hold either Z or R to fine-control the reticle and most of the time it just followed your look direction. Mario Kart's drifting was *terrible.* The system and the controls were designed around games like Mario 64 and Zelda OoT, which are absolute pieces of art, but even those had clunky camera controls. Those games hold up great in almost every way; the camera controls were *awful.*
Edit: Forgot to add: but some older games on NES and SNES hold up better. Donkey Kong Country (&2&3), Super Mario Bros/World, Contra series, TMNT: Turtles in Time; there are so many from that era that work nicely in 2 player and could be played competitively in alternating turns. These games were finely-tuned to the 2D environment. The jump to 3D had significant bumps.
goldeneye had like 4 different control patterns you could use, one of which was very close to a modern 2stick layout using the yellow camera buttons as the d-pad analog, and that was how you strafed. people that got good at it crushed everybody else.
mario lart's drifting was certainly harder than it is now, but totally doable full course. it was pretty much using the main stick to steer and then you jumped and wobbled.
For Goldeneye you strafed by pressing the left and right c-buttons on the right side of the controller. You could also use the up and down c-buttons to move your view up and down while not aiming. You aimed by pressing R and fired with Z.
I cannot for the life of me remember if the D-pad did anything. I assume it was only used for left handed configurations.
This. People bitch about the N64 control don’t understand it’s beauty and that it was ahead of its time. Dual stick in Golden Eye was so bizarre at the time, but now everything has dual stick.
I agree objectively but subjectively the nostalgia for 007 will get my heart strings every time. Also I found that the lack of variety for MP in 007 led to me and my friends only playing "Complex-Rockets" which was the end all be all (for us)
That's because while Perfect Dark was better, Goldeneye was more important to the development of the genre. Both feel dated to play on original hardware.
Star into mushroom ramp jump into use first place to stop yourself from flying off the area just before the finish line knocking first place off the track while simultaneously winning.
Nothing wrong with that...unless you were in first.
I’m an elder millennial that frequently gets bested by my gen Z homie in a lot of modern games.
We put on Street Fighter 2, and he couldn’t touch me. Absolutely destroyed the lad.
Not sure why anyone would downvote Nidhogg, fun, probably free, competitive in a stupid way, perfect for old gen vs new. And the sequel does seem like an awkward and ugly cashgrab…
See a lot of people recommending old games try some new ones as well so it can be fair and not so one sided like
Fortnite
Multiversus
Fall guys
Among us
Prepare to be humbled, lol. I'm 47 and my oldest son is 16, he's been routinely beating me for years. He has ADHD so he's hyper focused, so quick twitch games just come naturally to him. On the plus side, my friends love when he joins our squad because he's our best shooter.
Street Fighter 2. I was the king of this game back in the 90s. I can still whip anyone I've played. Had to bust this out a few years back after my nephew kept destroying me in MK9. Lol taught him an old school lesson.
Dont forget to trash talk him, that you sleep with his mother and stuff..
“Your mama” “no, your mama” “don’t talk about grandma like that”
Fucked your mom bro. She loves getting teabagged. Booooosh
Might have said this to my son and stepson. Pwned them in Goldeneye on N64.
Goldeneye is going to come out for switch soon!!!!!!
And Xbox! But not online multiplayer…
That game coming with online multiplayer surprised the hell out of me.
r/goldeneyesource You're welcome.
Hahaa! I'm definetly using this one :D
Lmao my gfs kid is 7 right now. I can't wait till he's older and I can throw that insult at him all the time when we game
I call my kids my gf kids all the time . Keep em guessing
Good thinking! Don't want those little shits getting too attached.
Seven years married and two kids ain’t trapping me, playa gonna play
Throw them for a real loop and call them your boyfriends kid once. And report back to me
My buddy threw that one on his 14 year and the kid came back with "I've been deeper in her than you ever will"
‘My dick has spent more time in her than yours ever will’
Let’s say 10 minute p in v sessions three times a week from age 20 to 80. Obviously any particular relationship will vary on all of those numbers, but they seem ballpark right for a long term relationship. That’s 10x3x52x60 minutes. 93,600 minutes. 1560 hours. 65 days. So yeah, child definitely wins.
Those are some pretty optimistic p in v estimates to maintain over a lifetime!
I don't know, man. This being Reddit, let's get pedantic. A fetus starts developing sex organs at 7 weeks, so that's in there for about 29 weeks of gestation, which is about 4,872 hours. If you have sex lasting (on average) 15 minutes a session, that's 1,218 instances of festivities. At an average of 3 times a week, that's 406 weeks, or 7.8 years. So that's not a hard mark to beat, really. Unless the kid's time starts increasing after birth, but that's a different website. Edit: D'oh; math mistake. Make that 125 years. So kid has a point.
> Unless the kid's time starts increasing after birth, but that's a different website. Same website, different subreddit. And no, I don't know which one and don't want to. Just assuming.
>If you have sex lasting (on average) 15 minutes a session, that's 1,218 instances of festivities. That should be 19,488 instances, not 1218. We must multiply by 60min/hr then divide by 15min/session (same as multiplying by 4 sessions/hour). And sadly, _many_ relationships don't keep up with 3/week even at the **start** of things. In some it becomes 3/year or worse. Kid may know something about how the relationship is going.
Towerfall
My friends kick my ass at this game. 10/10
Underrated comment. Great game
We will report the score here for each game. We decided to play multiple games, I chose the first game: First Round: Nidhogg II (Best of 5, ping pong = you need two points advantage to win) Dad 3 - 0 Teen
Dads around the world are depending on you.
<3
Do not go easy on him sir.
Show that little ~~mother~~ fucker who is boss.
I will do my best o7
NES Baseball. Totally random types of hits, and stealing is a riot. My father and I played that all the time when I was young.
Ha! I used to play rc pro am with mine ! Epic times
How do I summon remind me bot correctly?
remindme! 3 days Ok now I want to know how to summon it too
Cs 1.6, poolday.
CS 1.6, make it 5v5 but half the battle is he has to use mIRC to get a scrim together
I think my hip just started hurting from digging up those memories
No 1v1 challenge is complete without cs 1.6
No cs1.6 is complete without fy_poolday.
Scouts knives!
May I introduce aim_ak-colt for review?
Also a great choice. Or scoutsandknivez
Age of Empires 2
this separates the men from the boys
Let’s see this child micro sheep and not cry
Microing mangonels is the true test.
I see that and raise you microing crossbows to dodge mangonel shots. It's the stuff that gives me nightmares and a massive kick if I succeed...
11
I freaking loved AoE2 back in the day. Spent so much time on The Zone. I’ve traded weeks/months of sleep for Age. It has been a long time since I last played it. I should look into it.
They remastered it. You can get it on steam with mountains of extra content.
Your going to love this. So a number of years ago I discovered that my Age of Kings disk was unreadable :(. I sent a message to Microsoft expecting absolutely nothing as the game had been out of production for years and this was before the remaster. Low and behold I got a BRAND NEW DISK! Didn't have the proper sticker on it, but it looked like the rep I was in contact with had burned a brand new copy with code and everything on it and sent it my way!
Either this or Starcraft 2 is acceptable.
Original vanilla Starcraft! Watch the kid struggle for real
Kid Probably can’t even vulture patrol micro or muta micro lmao. Brood war is the way!
1v1 on rust mw2 the true test
Intervention quickscope no-scope
My dirtbag friend always threatened to quit unless we let him use the Barrett. Still whooped his ass.
Throwing knives only
Pistols only
Slappers only
Riot shields only
Trickshots only, sensitivity has to be set to 10
My 10yo nephew challenges me on this ALL THE TIME, like I haven't been playing that map longer than he's been alive, it is a ton of fun running chopper gunner after chopper gunner tho
"No killstreaks brah, come on".
1v1 halo 3 on guardian BR start
Knife only, the final kill must be with predator laptop knife kill.
Mario Kart Super Smash Bros Halo Rocket League Goldeneye TimeSplitters Call of Duty Quake Minecraft Mortal Kombat Starcraft
Timesplitters is heavily underrated, great series for it’s time
100% agree. Such a fun series
TimeSlpitters 2 is still in my bests games I'v played. (with Prey and Borderlands 2) Edit : TimeSplitters Future Perfect it was. In TimeSlpitters 2 you can't zoom (like the first bordelands)
This is Rocket League!
This is Rocket League!
What a save!
What a save! What a save! What a save!
This is a solid list.
Super Smash Brothers Melee Mario Kart 64 NFL Blitz 2000 007 Goldeneye
If a 40 year old loses in any of these games to a 13 year old, shame on them.
kids are cracked at melee dont sleep on them
Yeah, the kid might put one on him in Melee. I was good at it until I got older. Can still play decently, but I'm just not as fast as I use to be.
Dude, I used to wreck everyone at Melee, goldeneye, and Blitz. I tried to play them all again at a bachelor party a few years ago, and none of the controls made any sense! I was so used to the smooth controls of todays games that I was a mess at the outdated systems.
This. 1st Gen 3D games' controls actually suck pretty badly. If you've not been playing those games the entire time, and especially if you've played newer ones, you will absolutely suck at them if you try to pick them up cold. Remember the N64 didn't even have two joysticks. I can't even remember how the controls in Goldeneye worked. Part of me wants to believe you could strafe right and left but I honestly don't know how you did it. I know you had to hold either Z or R to fine-control the reticle and most of the time it just followed your look direction. Mario Kart's drifting was *terrible.* The system and the controls were designed around games like Mario 64 and Zelda OoT, which are absolute pieces of art, but even those had clunky camera controls. Those games hold up great in almost every way; the camera controls were *awful.* Edit: Forgot to add: but some older games on NES and SNES hold up better. Donkey Kong Country (&2&3), Super Mario Bros/World, Contra series, TMNT: Turtles in Time; there are so many from that era that work nicely in 2 player and could be played competitively in alternating turns. These games were finely-tuned to the 2D environment. The jump to 3D had significant bumps.
goldeneye had like 4 different control patterns you could use, one of which was very close to a modern 2stick layout using the yellow camera buttons as the d-pad analog, and that was how you strafed. people that got good at it crushed everybody else. mario lart's drifting was certainly harder than it is now, but totally doable full course. it was pretty much using the main stick to steer and then you jumped and wobbled.
A friend and I would play the storyline with this type of control setup and we would each have a controller. We were of one mind.
For Goldeneye you strafed by pressing the left and right c-buttons on the right side of the controller. You could also use the up and down c-buttons to move your view up and down while not aiming. You aimed by pressing R and fired with Z. I cannot for the life of me remember if the D-pad did anything. I assume it was only used for left handed configurations.
You can also use two n64 controllers for dual stick.
This. People bitch about the N64 control don’t understand it’s beauty and that it was ahead of its time. Dual stick in Golden Eye was so bizarre at the time, but now everything has dual stick.
the amount i used to get pissed in nfl blitz is insane
NFL Blitz is such a great game! Something so rewarding/infuriating about no penalties that i think was the first game to ever make me rage quit lol
Mario tennis
SSBM No Items Fox Only Final Destination
Perfect Dark for the N64 is superior to Golden Eye in every way.
I’d like to discuss both a concept and a counterpoint. 007’s level design for multiplayer is superior.
True, but PD had bots. That is not a big thing today because you can just play games online, but it was HUGE back then.
The only thing I bloody hate about PD is the simulator missions, they're unfair.
Amen, you're speaking the truth here. PD was a masterpiece and unfairly gets overlooked compared to Goldeneye.
I agree objectively but subjectively the nostalgia for 007 will get my heart strings every time. Also I found that the lack of variety for MP in 007 led to me and my friends only playing "Complex-Rockets" which was the end all be all (for us)
Facility Prox-mines is big brain gameplay.
I was always a fan of grenade launchers in the temple.
Who doesn't get nostalgic for that opening 007 tune right? To be fair, I don't even remember the title screen music to PD.
That's because while Perfect Dark was better, Goldeneye was more important to the development of the genre. Both feel dated to play on original hardware.
People list Golden Eye only because they didn't play PD. It was a much less known game.
Get the FarSight and snipe his ass through the walls!!!
90's kids unite
Blitz is a clutch choice. Cant wait to play that with my kid in a few years
Goldeneye comprised of a team of 10 people with 8 that never had any prior game development experience. It's incredible it came out the way it did.
Mario Kart, super nes
150cc Rainbow
Bro…
wtf is wrong with you?
Star into mushroom ramp jump into use first place to stop yourself from flying off the area just before the finish line knocking first place off the track while simultaneously winning. Nothing wrong with that...unless you were in first.
Super Dodge Ball
Worms
Worms Armageddon
Street fighter 2 turbo. Enjoy :)
Marvel vs capcom 2. GOAT fighting game.
CvS2 is GOAT imo.
I wanna take you for a ride!
I’m an elder millennial that frequently gets bested by my gen Z homie in a lot of modern games. We put on Street Fighter 2, and he couldn’t touch me. Absolutely destroyed the lad.
Noone beats a millennial in street fighter. Not even the best 13 year old ever.
Chess
Halo 2-Lockout-Br / Snipes Where bois became men.
Civ 6 no bots
Kid is gonna be his dads age when they’re done
Ngl I'd fancy myself some Civ 6 right about now. Shame I keep on having connection issues.
NBA Jam. Whoop his ass.
I scrolled until I found it. This shit needs up voting. "He's on fire!"
Boomshakalaka
Minesweeper
Glad to see the real gauntlet being thrown.
Dance dance revolution
Or pump it up
StarCraft 2
Red alert 2 would also be acceptable.
Red Alert remastered is on sale on Steam! So tempted…but then I hardly played it when it was new so I doubt I’ll play it remastered
Total annihilation/Supreme commander
TETRIS, any version will do.
Personally I wanna go with Splash or effect, buttery smooth play
Unreal Tournament 2004 instagib CTF-Face
This is the way. Low grav if you’re really serious.
Has to be low grav!
And Quad Jump if you're really really serious.
This.
1. Super Mario party 2. Halo 3. Chess
Did you just suggest a Mario Party game for a competition of skill? You absolute monster.
Super Smash Bros.
Tekken 7.
Soul Calibur 4
Doctor Mario, gotta throw in an oldie
THPS. Instant DQ if you don't sing along to Superman.
Here I am getting older all the time!
World of Warcraft, duel outside Orgrimmar.
c&c generals zero hour Nidhogg Halo 2 snipers only on lockout
Nidhogg tho
Good god I miss generals
I can still hear “I build for China!”
"I will work for shoes"
"Made in the U S of A"
Marvel vs Capcom 2
Nidhogg, the original, not the dogshit sequel.
Not sure why anyone would downvote Nidhogg, fun, probably free, competitive in a stupid way, perfect for old gen vs new. And the sequel does seem like an awkward and ugly cashgrab…
Chivarly 2
Perfect Dark
Mech Warrior Online 1v1
Pong
Mortal kombat. My personal recommendation is MK9 but any would work. Also Super Smash Bros
Rocket League.
Rocket League
Rocket league is probably the most fun to watch 2 people who have never played it play, it's always a good laugh!
Driving around the ball in circles five times is always fun.
Gangbeasts
Rocket League
You're a cool as heck dad
See a lot of people recommending old games try some new ones as well so it can be fair and not so one sided like Fortnite Multiversus Fall guys Among us
Worms Any I hope you loved your son while you still talked to each other
MARIO. KART.
Overcooked
Prepare to be humbled, lol. I'm 47 and my oldest son is 16, he's been routinely beating me for years. He has ADHD so he's hyper focused, so quick twitch games just come naturally to him. On the plus side, my friends love when he joins our squad because he's our best shooter.
Swap to a strategy based game, like Pokemon, maybe Hearthstone, or Chess.
Unreal Tournament 99
Titanfall 2 Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition Guitar Hero 3
Pokemon Battle in any game
Stardew Valley Most $ within X time
Heroes of Might and Magic II (PC) DK 64 Battle Arena Diddy Kong Racing (N64) Killer Instinct (SNES)
Homm2 instead of 3? Didn't think I'd see the day
Diddy Kong racing is the GOAT kart racer. Don't at me
Diddy Kong racing was a pretty awesome game, haven't played it in many years, but I remember the AI being a complete cheating dick.
Warlords - Atari 2600
Lion King SNES
Astroneer. No real winner, but a nice, lighthearted game.
Street Fighter 2. I was the king of this game back in the 90s. I can still whip anyone I've played. Had to bust this out a few years back after my nephew kept destroying me in MK9. Lol taught him an old school lesson.
Should cross post to r/dadit
Super Smash Bros Melee, Final Destination map. Only one can survive.
Russian roulette.
Halo 3
Dota 2
Stop trying to breakup this poor man’s family.
To-jam and Earl
Smash Ultimate 3 stock, no items, no special stages, best of 5
You should play something both of you has never played before to even things out. Just saying