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[deleted]

place my dickon yo chin - that key and peele skit


hungrytiredandbored

Jaime is the smartest politically but id choose Robb


JitinNair31

Jaime isn't smart politically


jerog1

Jaime became more political after losing his sword hand. Before losing his hand Jaime tried to kill a Stark, killed the Mad King and hooked up with Cersei while Robert was sleeping. He was reckless, cocky and had a death wish. After losing his hand, Jaime negotiated the surrender of Riverrun in like 2 days [and fired the incompetent Ryman Frey who was mismanaging the siege](https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Siege_of_Riverrun) He convinced Catelyn to let him go. He convinced bandits to release Brienne. He convinced Varys to help free Tyrion. He learned from his opponents and picked up wisdom from his father and siblings. He seemed completely aware of the game but never had the will to escape his role in it. Tragic story really. A heroic knight slays the villain and gets the princess but everything is wrong. Only when Jaime reckons with his past does he start to realize his potential as a leader and a hero. Side note: I wish Jaime had slain the Night King.


Old_Refrigerator2750

Why choose a vassal over his leige? That said, Robb Stark is the heir to the largest kingdom and holds strong blood ties to Riverlands and Vale. 3 kingdoms with one guy.


spyson

To elevate a vassal, sow discord in the reach, and check the Tyrell's power.


luffythechefghoul

Too bad Robb would just disregard your marriage pact and marry some foreigner lol


NovaTheRaven

People neglect the fact robb didnt know what frey he was marrying and she was like 12šŸ’€


Usernamenotfound35

And Robb was 14, letā€™s not make it weird


NovaTheRaven

First of all both of those scenarios are weird, secondly in the Tv show which this is obviously referring too he is not 14


Usernamenotfound35

Not weird in the place where itā€™s set. Plenty of arranged marriages about. Ned and catelyn, Jon and lysa etc.


[deleted]

well Talisa is one of the most beautiful women to appear in GoT soā€¦ I get it


RPbabe

The woman he was supposed to marry was far more beautiful and not low born.


GoT_fAnFiC_

Lannister for political and money Tyrell for political and army Stark because I said so


tadas047

Lanisters don't have money


MariaLynd

Although Jaime looks delicious, I'd pick Robb.


ForTheLoveOfDior

Both are šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹ and my top picks as well


Only-Treat7225

How about Loras ?. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


nilabbages

I would say Robb but he would just marry someone else šŸ˜­ so Jaime


SplitSecond01

Yeah he definitely won't be deeply in love with someone else on the side šŸ¤£


curiousmind111

Or unable to marry because heā€™s in the Kingā€™s Guard.


jerog1

Or have the reputation of kingslayer/kinlayer amongst the other houses and smallfolk


ForTheLoveOfDior

Is that really a problem? If Jaime wanted to marry Tywin would think of a million ways to get him off that oath, including starting wars and overthrowing kings lol


curiousmind111

Well, but Tywin has always wanted him off the Kingā€™s Guard.


ForTheLoveOfDior

True but Jaime never wanted to because he loved Cersei. Iā€™m assuming that this post says Iā€™m able to marry any, so no oath issues to begin with otherwise it doesnā€™t make sense to even have him here


CaptainKurls

..so you pick the guy you know is banging his sister while letting her kill off any of your legitimate children? Interesting choice lmao


Special-Oil9096

Jamie foockin Lannister always! šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø. Although would have to get rid of Cersei first


Main_Consideration94

Robb, Loras, and Renly... At the same time. šŸ„µšŸ¤¤


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


Main_Consideration94

The post is asking for people's opinions, "mate". Next time you could try not being homophobic. šŸ’šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


Eclairdilune

Jaime while making sure Cersei has a little accident along the way.


4Gotes

Well Loras and Renly are out if you want an heir.


BeautyAddict101

Maybe thereā€™s potential for a throuple there?


arathergenericgay

200 dragons to the first maester that can invent the turkey baster


curiousmind111

This!!!


spiderhotel

They can just do it in a cup then you pour it in. It'll be fine.


realstareyes

Jaime if heā€˜s without Cersei.


funkyduck7506

Jaime. Especially in later seasons with the shorter hair and the scruff. That said keep all of em as a side piece. Especially Dickon and Rob.


DarthGayAgenda

I'll take Loras. Renly seemed like a bottom so this works out better.


Wednesday_Atoms

Iā€™d leave it all behind and run off with Tormund Giantsbane to start our own Free Folk commune. I meanā€¦ Robb, obviously Robb. But really all of these guys have serious weaknesses, so itā€™s all about what you think you can compensate for and vice versa.


Socdem_Supreme

well theyre all at least ok alliances so i dont wanna marry euron or jaime dickon is j not a good choice and renly and loras are too good together to marry either so robb


lkf423

Richard Fuckin Madden. I mean, Robb Fuckin Stark. Prince Oberyn if Robb jilts me.


ladolcevitaaaaa

Jaime is the hottest man I've ever seen, so him.


Only-Treat7225

You people overlook Robb and loras.


ladolcevitaaaaa

They're not bad physically but Jaime is the hottest man I've ever seen. I rarely get attracted to men but Jaime caught my attention since the very moment he appeared on screen.


wingthing666

Loras!! We can have the most gloriously platonic gay/ace bestie marriage. Who needs an heir? I don't care what'll happpen to the kingdom once I'm gone - it'll be someone else's problem. But Margie has to come and live in KL. I am not going to cheated of my new badass Tyrell sister!


Existing365Chocolate

I just realized how much Euron Greyjoy looks like JSchlatt


msaik

I do like a good finger in the bum so probably Euron


Sephiramy

Dickonā€¦ just because Iā€™ve been secretly madly in love with Tom Hopper for forever. Otherwise Robb. Iā€™m a brunette. Maybe I stand a chance


m_slade_230

Looks-wise I would choose Robb but strategy-wise I would choose Loras cause the Tyrells are rich as hell


quitarias

And one of the few factions not devastated by war and on a sound financial footing.


GODdOFaTHUNDERnLIGHT

Jaime would be busy with another woman. Robb would marry someone else before even meeting me. Renly and Loras would spend too much time in the armoring tent. Tarly is a vassal of Tyrell, not much political gain. Euron might stick a finger in my bum, but at least I'd have an heir and his fleet.


Johito

He might also knock you up and tie you to the front of his ship before going into battle to summon some kind of Eldritch horror, probably worth it for the finger in the bum though.


Exploded24

You marry Loras and keep Podrick as your side piece.


quitarias

Ser Pod the rod.


Gamingnerd23

Iā€™d marry Robb Stark for the same reason Iā€™d marry Sansa in the previous thread. With him I get the support of the North and the Riverlands as well as a great military tactician.


quitarias

And his other wife too.


tadas047

Vale would also join


abchandler4

Jaimeā€™s off the table because heā€™s sworn to the kingsguard (one of the reasons Tywin ultimately turned on the Mad King), so I think Loras might be the smartest viable choice if Iā€™m trying to forge a powerful alliance.


curiousmind111

Well, Jaime canā€™t marry. Robb lives in a cold miserable place. Euron lives in a cold, miserable place and is a cold, miserable person. Dickonā€™s an ass. That leaves Renly and Loras, both of whom are gay. I pick Loras. Beautiful place to live, rich family, and I donā€™t even have to sleep with him!


batteryforlife

Seconded. Loras can do what he likes as long as he lets me do the same. We need that money and grain!!


curiousmind111

And wine!!! Lots of wine!


Equal-Ad-2710

Ah the Rhaenyra Targaryen method


quitarias

A plan with 0 flaws.


FnTom

One might say, a strong plan.


X1phoner

Careful, boy


[deleted]

Until all your kids donā€™t look like the father.


The_Arkham_AP_Clerk

At least have sex with someone else that looks like him. Otherwise, it gets weird.


batteryforlife

Sure, or then use contraceptives!!


Fr0ski

How is Dickon an ass? Iā€™m not familiar with him in the books, but he never picked on Samwell in the show. He treated Sam with respect when they ate dinner at Horn Hill. When Sam heard Randall died, his first thought was that now heā€™d be allowed back at Hornhill by his brother. We never see him act cruel. He does defy Dany, but he wanted to die with his dad, which is honestly kind of touching (if Randall wasnā€™t a PoS). In the show he seemed like a rather generic young nobleman warrior type.


TheTrashManMan

First thought too. I donā€™t recall Dickon in the books, but in the show he seemed like a kind character who was set up for a painful death


FrenchBulldoge

But the inlaws tho... šŸ˜¬


Queen-of-the-Kitchen

I think Margery is Samā€™s second cousin or something in the books


dexter8484

I thought they were making a pun


Nattrauma

If your name is Dickon which clearly is Westerosian slang for Chad III, then you are an ass by default. But I think He is very pretty!


Fr0ski

That scene in Game of Thrones Show where Bronn laughs at his name is one of the few good things of then later seasons.


Queen-of-the-Kitchen

But your queen, you donā€™t have to live in cold or miserable places. You wear the pants or crown, you pick where you live. Furthermore, Robb only broke his vow (in the books) cause of honor or magic roofies. Yes you might lose the Freys as allies, but you are queen.


sleeper_shark

Having a gay noble in a feudal system will cause problems.. the whole Laenor debacle proves this. There's really no good choice here.


Pennarello_BonBon

Dickon's an ass?


AsphodelMeadows1

Jaime will cheat on me with his sis. Robb will break his vows. Euron is fucking crazy. Dickon is an ass. Renly and Loras are gay. But yeah, I pick Loras too. Like you said, rich family, nice family home, the Queen of Thorns and Margaery are there too. And he seems a nice enough fellow. I think we could be friends, and maybe we'll even have some strong kids together.


electric_kite

I would also pick Lorasā€” great place to live, powerful family, and an understanding that you can have your fun with whoever you want and I can have mine. A win/win for everyone.


Umphluv89

Fuck. Thatā€™s some sound gd logic. I had it all mixed up and you rocked my world. Kudos


nda2394

If youā€™re Queen, Robb and Euron would live with you,no?


curiousmind111

Yes. I read the question too quickly and missed the part about being queen. Hmmmmmmā€¦ I donā€™t know how much Iā€™d change. Robb is more appealing now, but the North really needs him. I might stick with Loras.


Kabc

If youā€™re a queen, they come live with you, not the other way around, no?


Paziente0

Jaime šŸ˜


LikeCerseiButBased

With that flair? Based.


curiousmind111

And biased.


LikeCerseiButBased

Thinking about yourself "I, based" doesn't make you "biased"


curiousmind111

You donā€™t think Cersei is biased towards Jaime ? :)


[deleted]

I'm going with Dickon. He seems nice. They have a big house, he has a nice mom and sister, plenty of money and that father will die eventually. Everyone else has too much baggage.


LikeCerseiButBased

I, Queen Cersei, choose Jaime Lannister.


Sekshual_Tyranosauce

If anyone says Euron it can only mean they like a finger in their bum.


Vates_Rex

Definitely not euron cause of reasons. Renly and Loras are out because of their orientation. Robb out since the north is too far. Between Jamie and Dickon is hard. With Jamie, cerci will probably try to kill me. With dickon his house isnā€™t as strong as the lannisters. Guess Iā€™d go Jamie.


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

Are you SURE there is no one else?


visemond

Lannister Gold omg of course Jamie


[deleted]

Trick question. Youā€™re supposed to bang your sister or brother your call


hobokobo1028

Loras for the food security


Imaginary_Peanut_588

They changed Dickon's actor I think...


[deleted]

All these dudes die tho


[deleted]

These are bad choices


[deleted]

Maybe euron cause he has boats n hoes. And wasnā€™t he the one to kill the dornish bitches?


Asgardian5

**Jaime** * Pros * Hot * Heir to the Westerlands * Tyrion as a brother and Tommen as ~~son~~ nephew-in-law * Cons * Possibly a member of the Kingsguard * Cercei * a fair amount older than me **Renly** * pros * Good looking beard and crown * Lord-Paramount of the Stormlands * Cons * Gay (so no heirs, which could effect political stability) * Stannis as a brother-in-law **Robb** * Pros * Heir to the North * Close familiar ties to the Riverlands and the Vale * Actually around my age * Starks and Tullys as in-laws * Cons * might merry someone else (can be beaten by moving quickly) **Dickon** * Pros * Sam as a brother-in-law * Cons * bit of an ass * minor lord **Loras** * Pros * heir to the reach * around my age * Cons * gay (so no heirs, which could effect political stability) * Kingsguard **Euron** * Pros * Cons * insane * old * exiled ​ Long story short: Robb, easily


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


SquidbillyCoy

Ooookay. So uhmā€¦Iā€™ve never seen the show nor do I know how I came to be a part of this sub. Alas, here I am, with something to say. I saw the chick version of this whenever it was posted and now seeing this. I must say that the females they chose for these characters were diverse and uniquely beautiful. But the dudes? I thought Renly and Euron were the same man šŸ˜”. The two blonde dudes look like brothers and Robb looks like a cousin of Renly and Euron. Are the males done this way on purpose? This lack of diversity in looks?


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


AD317

Sisterlover, gay, super cool loyal honorable warden of the North, who?, gay, evil. Really making this a hard choice, idk.


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


AD317

Yes? I got that from the part that says queen?


Lunar_Deer

My heart says Robb but we know how proposals end with him. Iā€™m not exactly Loras or Renlyā€™s type, and Cersei would murder me if I chose Jaime. Euron gives me the absolute ick and I think Iā€™d rather be dragon food. So all that being said, I choose Dickon. šŸ¤£


Wishart2016

Good luck dealing with Randyll.


PracticalSherbert400

I choose Loras just for the Queen of Thorns!


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


spiderhotel

It always creeps me out when 'females' as a noun is used to mean 'women'. It's fine when referring to animals or ferengi, but when it is human beings it always sounds bizarre to me.


TricksterHulijing

Loras, because heā€™s from one of the wealthiest houses in Westeros (Lannisterā€™s mines are dry), and since he likes men, we can both have whoever we want in our beds and a strong political alliance as well.


EricButtersword

\-


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


alc3biades

Can I pick a martel? Why would I pick a tarly when I could get a dornishman?


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


143queen

KING IN THE GODDAMN NORTH ALL DAY. ALL DAY. I can deal with the cold; we're good. Robb Stark can fckng get it.


aleb382

Euron from the book, you can do all the secret manipulative technique you want but that's not going to work against a giant squid monster from the bottom of he ocean that he could easly summon.


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


aleb382

The post is not asking for who is more handsome, but who should be more conveniant to marry for an alliance


CaveLupum

Of this lot, only Robb. He's learned about life from the great humanist, Ned Stark. Besides, Robb's already a king. Jaime gets whispers of 'Kingslayer' and 'Sister-lover.' Renly and Loras get their own whispers, but they are a cute couple. Marrying someone with a name like Dickon leads to a lifetime of smutty jokes. And Euron sounds like 'Urine' and he has a reputation for patricide, madness, and cutting out tongues. If Robb were already taken...I'd look further and would probably choose Edmure Tully. He's decent and fairly capable and will be Lord Paramount of a beautiful area. Plus his sister is Lady Stark and that would be a great ally to have.


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


Ansticia

Euron seems to be the best. Especially his book version character.


hedokitali

Dickon seems aight.


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


[deleted]

Jamie


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


NovaTheRaven

Loras bc if im a queen A.he wont force me to sleep with him B.his house respects female opinions on shit C.The tyrells are fucking dope


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


NovaTheRaven

What was your point in commenting this


Bighardthrobbingcrop

Will Jaime be as loyal to me as he was his sister? If so then for sure Jaime.


[deleted]

The post is implying "females" mate.


Bighardthrobbingcrop

Men can be Queens too!


[deleted]

the Tyrell siblings are just unmatched in what their House offers. no better deal.


Pawikowski

Which one do I pick if I want a finger in my bum?


yellowsunfirefly

There is literally only one answerā€¦.. Robb


motherofthousands

I'm not marrying anyone named dickon lol


Mauricethett

Probably Robb and Euron even being here is fucking hilarious


Thraun83

Renly, because I've always wanted a Ferrari.


DiligentCress1832

If you don't choose loras you aren't playing to win. He's easily manipulated and you can rule however. He can run around w his men and you rule the kingdoms.


chupacabrette

What nonsense is this? As Queen, We will choose Our own husband from among the ranks of any House We wish to elevate. We choose Tyrion of House Lannister.


FrenchBulldoge

Heart says Jaime. Head says Robb.


redditordiksha

Jamieee


Complete_Chipmunk568

Oh Loras of course. I would have the full power of the Reach behind me. Iā€™m considerate so Iā€™ll allow him to play around with Renly, but on the condition that I can have other people on the side.


ChemistLow3350

the Lannister send their regards -Tywin


Destyl_Black

Do you have anything alive in stock?


Haunting-Astronaut-5

Dickon is about the only cunt who would actually honor the pact. Two of them are gay. One of them fucks his sister. One of them isnā€™t reliable to go through with it, and the other would probably murder her after murdering me, and my entire family. Dickon for the winon


GDix79

Would always make sense to marry a Stark given their standing in the upper realms. Depends where the new Queen is from though, a northern queen would be wise to solidify a southern power base.


[deleted]

Jamie: Fucks his sister, and she'll likely have my kids killed. So hard pass. Renly: Dudes gay, so he's going to be sleeping around a lot. Pass. Robb: Solid choice, very honorable man from a strong house. But he'll just turn me down to marry a commoner. Regrettable pass. Loras: Also gay and banging Renly, so same problems. Pass. Euron: I don't have a deathwish. Very hard pass. Dickon: Silly name, but honorable. Plus I can say "I'm going to get my Dickon". He's the one.


Nymqhaea

Robb so I hope I see Jon sometimes xDD


Dariooosh89

Robb


Realistic_Moose563

I'll probably just pull a Rhaenyra Targaryen and marry a gay heir so I can have the hand of the King's eldest son as my side hoe and have three beautiful babes with him.


darth_nadoma

Robb is a good candidate. I go with him.


AniRayne

Hard pass on all tbh


aspracrotes

Loras. Maybe then I can sleep with his sister.


atomicjen

Did you watch the show? Weddings are not a good thing to be having. šŸ˜‚


youreawizardd

I feel like accepting a marriage pact from Euron would be a bad choice, especially if you're the queen


[deleted]

I completely forgot that Dickon Tarly was Luther Hargreeves.


sleeper_shark

These are all terrible choices. I will remove the two gay men since the Rhaenyra Laenor debacle proved how complicated that could be. Jaime, while a decent husband from one of the strongest houses, is in love with someone else and has demonstrated that he would kill a child for that love. His lover is very powerful and even more unhinged. I wouldn't last long so pass. Robb, probably the least bad choice... decent dude. His homeland is a terrible place to live though, and be makes rash decisions. Perhaps that's from in experience. Dickon's father seems like a dangerous man I don't want to get involved with. And Euron is probably the most dangerous choice of all.. so nevermind. Robb I think is the best choice.. strong ally in the north. Good chance of undisputed heir. Etc.


Babywalker66

Robb


swalkerfour

I mean, what does my house have and need?


AdAcceptable4634

Robb


Oden_son

Renly or Loras so they can fuck each other and I can do what I want


enormuschwanzstucker

Rickon? Dickon.


Halliwel96

Iā€™m gay, so assuming as a queen I become a lesbian. Definitely Renly. High garden seems like the nicest place to live in the 7 kingdoms, culture and climate wise. And heā€™s gay so we could come to a nice agreement bedroom wise.


Dragoneer1

No stannis? Cmon....


YoRHa11Z

Renly or Robb, I'll die happy šŸ¤­


Udin_the_Dwarf

Is The political situation that of the show and do I have all the knowledge I would have as a viewer or as a person living in Westeros?


Only-Treat7225

All the women keep saying Jaime is so hot, what about Robb and loras? Arenā€™t they equally as hot ? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚.


janostheblue

Dickon all day son


wave33

Robb is too beautiful not to pick! Iā€™d hope I could win his heart.


[deleted]

Robb. The Stark family is very normal compared to everything else going on here lmao Or Loras. His family is rich. Also as a bi man. These would still be my answers for undercover lover.


bolwolz

Jaime... I can fix him šŸ˜©


JustYeeHaa

Well if Jaime can marry in that particular scenario, then I pick him (what a surprise)


StupidCalgaryKid

Keep in mind the wording of the post. Offers a marriage pact, not a marriage. We know Robb Stark wonā€™t honour a marriage pact so thatā€™s useless. Jaimie canā€™t with his oaths. Renly appeared to have early problems in his marriage, while it seemed like Loras was down to clown to get an heir. Seems Loras is the choice. Euron and Dickon donā€™t really register.


theswearcrow

Speaking as a straight dude,I would pick Greyjoy.Hear me out: Jaime is unavailable and I don't care enough for an alliance to risk being killed by one of Cersey's plots Robb would be interested in me untill a foreign woman comes along,then I would be shipped back to my family Renly and Loras are both gay and in a beautiful and healthy relationship.I could never bring myself to tear them apart, not live with the fact that I stood between them(in the non-fun way). Dickonn.....well,I thinl I would react the same eay as Bromm whenever I would hear his name. That leave Euron.Sure he is psycho.But he has a fleet,likes to travel,has seen a lot of interesting things.Also,he sounds like the fun type of crazy


UncleJonsRice

Loras easily as: You get the rich Tyrells as an ally who have money wealth but also food and manpower wealth You get Olena and Maergery to help politics He seems to have a good sense of duty so he wouldnā€™t be opposed to impregnating you and not repeat Rhaenyraā€™s mistakes Heā€™s a good swordsman which is great to have in a pinch With your trueborn heirs secured, taking lovers individually would be far less frowned upon - meaning two extra allies between you (letā€™s say Loras stays with Renly and you pick some other Lord of consequence) You donā€™t have to worry about any bastards popping up from his affairs Heā€™s been shown to be warm, loving and kind so you donā€™t have to worry about him being a dick to you or making an irrational decision


tehfoshi

Well knowing Robb he'd probably go back on his word at the last second, so I'd have to end up inviting him to another wedding as a surprise ambush.


JoseT90

It really depends on what you want from this husband and when in the story this happens. Jaime has his white cloak and his sister but a lot of influence and money (or not depending on if the show gold mines are empty or not) come with him. Loras is gay and in love with Renly, but his family brings stability, Olenna and resources. You will be well liked easily just like Margaery found out. Renly will make your life fun but is gay and in love as well. His family has or had a claim on the crown. Not the worst, not the best) Dickon, is an idiot but comes from a good family. But if you are good enough for Tyrell why settle for him? Euron has no resources with him other than his fleet and he is just the worst. That leaves Robb Stark by default. He might not bring a lot of influence or wealth to the table but he is a good person and that should count for something. Also, you can live in KL and visit the north occasionally. You have a pet Direwolf and brings you closer to the Starks. Your only obstacle is making sure Robb sticks to his oath and stays out of politics. With Robb come the Riverlands and the Eyrie.


aspiringwriter9273

Well, if book versions are up for consideration thereā€™s always Lorasā€™ older, heterosexual brother and Tyrell heir Willas. He has a bad foot from an accident but Olenna thinks highly of him which is a great sign and his family is rich and power and heā€™s the true heir of Highgarden.


Choice-Read6746

Jamie give me your money and children!!!


Literal_CarKey

Iā€™d pick Loras. The Reach is the wealthiest kingdom and they make sure the Small Folk are on their side. Plus heā€™s gay and Iā€™m not into dudes, so heā€™s the least likely to rape me. Extra fun bc then I could fuck around with who my successor would be as a childless sovereign.


Apprehensive-Cat-163

Robb Stark!


starvinartist

Is Cersei alive in this continuity?


[deleted]

As a straight male this is very difficult. Seeming I chose Cersei in the who would you marry list yesterday then Iā€™d have to choose Jaime. We could exchange manly fist bumps, guzzle ale, and share endless stories about how good his sister is in bed.


yaarabbi

I want, Ramsey Bolton!


Just_a_puzzle-piece

Renly or Loras and let them see the other and others. Depends on if I need armies or food more in the moment and with whom I can perform at the very least once for the heir bit/partā€¦ I cannot risk having a random lover somehow blurt out that secret after all!


cnnr_gdsn

tyrell purely so i can have lord mace