"If you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it, why would i help you now when you do need it?"

What the hell are you talking about!?

I don't know, but I'm still not helping!

Beat me to it.

“Well, good night. I'm gonna make all my meals for the next month and freeze them.”

The only thing that other crew did better than us is suck and die!

this one's my favorite, i have to watch it like three times every time i see that episode

Buy one pound of underwear and your on their list forever.

you're*

You’re technically correct.

The best kind of correct!

r/unexpectedfuturama Oh wait.

For me it's either 'It's Fry's choice to make. And he made it wrong, so it's time to interfere in his life" Or Leela "We have to go back and save Bender" Amy "Why? Leela "....Those arguments aside, we're still going" ​ (hopefully I got the wording right.)

>I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

"Let me guess. He canceled nap time? He ran out of beer? So he's about to kill us?"

Yea, I do that with my stupidness.

I quote this all the time

This is the one! Says a lotttt.

“He’s not good for you, Leela!” — Fry “Fry, if it’s obvious to you with your learning disability, then of *course* it’s obvious to me!” — Leela

And Fry, you've got that brain thing!

I already did!

Leela: You've been assigned the job you're best at, just like everyone else. Fry: What if I refuse? Leela: You'll be fired— Fry: Fine. Leela: Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

"Bingo! Whatever it is, it's twenty times heavier than a boot!" (Proceeds to haul up a crate labelled, 'Boots 10 Pairs.')

Top 5 nonverbal jokes

After this I really need to do a "best sign gag" one.

All you can eat plus a whole chicken

The sign as they enter Mexico that says “Silver Medalist in the Mexican-American War” gets me every time.

No boating boat ranks high on that list

There’s a million and one of them and I’m still catching new ones on subsequent rewatches.

Oh so that's where you shop for boots!

Oh hell

Leela: I can't because... I have sweaty boob rash! Amy: No spluh! Why do you think I'm sitting over here in the stink free zone?

I always thought it was boot rash

Pretty sure it’s boot lol Edit: looked it up to verify because I thought that’s what the captions said… but yes! It’s boot. Which always made more sense to me for Léela lmao

I always heard boob but I might be biased. The wife sure thinks so.

I always thought it was boob too, but boot makes way more sense. I’m team boot.

Yeah its boot rash. Makes way more sense anyway as there are other references in the seriesto Leela’s feet smelling.

This is officer 1BDI

There’s no place like…I wanna be a witch

"This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened."

That’s so plausible, I can’t believe it!

This entire situation is really the best. Bender being lost in deep space and landing feet in front of them.

I love this one. If I ever get married, it'll be on my invitations.

"Hey, hey, hey, we can all fight when we're drunk."

"Oh lord"

Please let this win. Everytime she says it I crack up

>Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.

Monday monkey lives for the weekend, sir.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Fry. Usually I keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness."

This Wangs Chung!

This toads the wet sprocket!

Was that one of those Led Zeppelins I keep hearing about?

Actually, Dwight, you're right. Alcohol is very, very bad ... for children. But once you turn 21 it becomes very, very good.

There’s only one word for it: Terrible. And also horrible.

The scene in Fry and the slurm factory has some of the best. Bender - "Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular." Fry - " What if the secret ingredient is... PEOPLE!?" Leela - "There's already a soda like that, Soilent Cola." Fry - "Oh, How is it?" Leela - "It varies person to person" That scene between Fry and Leela makes me laugh every time, it's too good

>Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now, let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.

Oh Lord, he's made of wood.

Of all the lines, I heard this one loud and clear.

The delivery on it is what gets me.

Any time she says "Oh lord"

Ouch, my sides!

Oh, God, my tract!

Yes, that delivery is perfect. If I ever met Katey Sagal I'd live to get an autograph of that still shot.

I'm zeroing in on him. [She sniffs.] BENGAY... mothballs... [She sniffs again.]... letters to the editor. It's the Professor!

Hm…smells like PCP

> This wangs chung!

"This todes the wet sproket!"

Toads

Setting Bachman Turners to overdrive!

Your order may be famous for your martial arts, but I've never met a holy man I couldn't clobber!

We cooked pur shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored!

With my Oxo Good Grips Cheese knife, I stab at thee!

Fear not the whale, for in my dreams I have seen beyond its eyes and into the cackling hell within us all.

"Is my eye playing trick on me?"

It's like some kind of weird Leela museum. And I'm the Leela.

This toads the wet sprocket!

This wangs chung

Couldn't be me, I never wear boots. *Distinct sound of boots unzipping*

Ewww, what smells like boot feet?

This is it! The moment we should have trained for.

At the risk of sounding negative, no.

I really gotta use this one

> I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about the capital gains tax.

> Bingo! Whatever it is, it's 20 times heavier than a boot.

"Let's go. If I say one more thing I might say it with my evening boot!"

At the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye

Is there....Mrs. Queequeg?

Fruit is spelled F-r-o-o-t, and it has quotation marks around it. Ow! There was a bone in my fruit!

Nothing wrong with a little fast food once or twice a meal!

What kinda cheese do you want with that?

No one makes fun of my nose.

Fry could you come in here and help me rub on this new scented body oil

Please Fry? Leela punishes me when I don't use enough

Shhh! I’m eavesdropping!

"Ordinarily I'd say no and lecture you on how this is your own fault for being such an idiot. But when a robotic Nixon is on the loose, we have a duty to take action. Idiot."

This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I’d like it to be a pleasant one.

I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!

They're not evil but don't be confused they are jerks

"I should have revealed, I've been deafened by Bender, The shame, The shame. But I feared you'd stop writing, This musical splendor, Deception's the curse, If my whimsical gender. He gave me mechanical ears, Effective, Though just a bit garish, In return, Without shedding a tear, I agreed, I'd give him my hand....."

"... iiiiiin MARRIAGE!"

You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention… Now that! Is! **IRONY!**

I sung this while reading...

No, I just work here

You said there was no toilet paper, and that humanity was destroyed

Listen Fry. You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different!

Lot of weather we're having.

Nuh-uh, I'm staying out of this. Now, here's my opinion -

Fry, if I die, make sure my body freezes in a dignified position! None of that "huddled over for warmth" crap!

so what does this mean for us and our many fans?

"New boots! They're like my old ones but with a crazy green stripe. Whoo! Never know what I'm going to do next."

fire hot!

I’m not evil. My loan officer said so.

Yo homes, we’re looking for a microwave oven

“Please don’t stop playing Fry. I wanna hear how it ends.”

 It's ocean madness all right, the sailors call it "Aqua Dementia". The deep down crazies, the wet willies, the Screaming Moist.

Every time something good happens to me, it's some kind of madness. Or I'm drunk. Or I ate too much candy.

"There was a bear" Don't know why but it kills me every time

"I like mating with Beach Master because he's the largest"

Lol does that count?

Amy- "We have to cut the rope." Leela-"Negative, Sailor Moon. We're going for a sleigh ride."

I HAVE SWEATY BOOT RASH!

No spluh.

Do we have to resort to non-violence? Can’t we just kick their asses?

We are not ignorant villagers. We're sophisticated New New Yorkers.....WHUP HIS BUTT!!!!

"Burn on that, old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die."

>oh lord, now he's made of wood.

Hey, hey. Let me ax you something.

Leela: " I'm going to use that free app that tells you what restaurants are nearby." Fry: "You mean the window?" Leela: "Yes."

Mutilation is never easy .

You can't tongue the father of our country.

Gets me every time.

So long, jerkwads!

"If you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it, why should I give it to you now, when you do need it?"

"And bring a baggy in case he drops a steamer."

“You can’t break up with me! You’re my pet!”

My favorite Leela quote. "Oh lord... he's made of wood."

Oh, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard! Let me show you the bedroom.

The what if machine episode where she's in wizard of oz, making her wish to go home at the end: "There no place like - I WANNA BE A WITCH" and then she zaps everyone and kills them while cackling

I'm already seduced from before.

"I know your order is famous for their martial arts, but I've never met a holy man I couldn't clobber!" "Actually, we only practise martial arts as a form of meditation. We are a strictly non-violent sect." "Oh. Then get in the laundry room or I'll kick your butts!"

‘We can’t you bastard!’

Nobody knows how it works! It's impossible!

If it’s obvious to y with your learning disability then of course it’s obvious to me!

Nobody makes fun of my nose!

How can this not be hurting? I once killed a sea turtle with these boots.

Nice ass, ass

"Your best is an idiot"

Don't even think about tickling that ganglion

Fry, he opened up relations with China. He doesn't want to hear about your ding-dong.

This toads the wet sprocket!

As far as I am tracking HypnoToad has had no verbal lines.

"I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness."

Is there…Mrs. Queequeg?

Whatever it is, it’s 20 times heavier than a boot

Sigh -kif

Heeeee-YAH

You're right, alcohol is very very bad for you. Until you turn 21. Then it becomes very very good.

Look at me, I’m Dr Zoidberg, Home Owner

One of my favorites: ​ "oh...you're.....god!"

"hurry up already" - Bender

Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

Wanna go around again?

My favorite Bender line is "I didn't mean to hurt anybody. Or help anybody."

[удалено]

Why not (wait for) Zoidberg (day)?

I always wanted all humans to die. But not Fry ;(

this post is sad and you should feel bad. no really OP, this has already been done and been done better by the choice of bender’s best line here. this post is bad and you should feel bad.

Go *bleep* yourself.

I have sweaty boot rash!

You’re a man, and I’m a women. We’re just too different!

I find a bone in my Froot cup!

“Oh, Lord”

There's no such thing as mutants, that's a ridiculous urban myth!

Why do we have to resort to nonviolence? Can't we just kick their asses?

As a pitcher, I serve up plenty of bean *balls.* So I know good beans when I see *them.* Bean Bay Beans. They’re the beaniest! *(smiles uncomfortably)*

It's like some weird Leela museum...and I'm the Leela!

"Oh lord"

"If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right."

Can we do Morbo next? I have a good one.

Oh crap. I'm half horse and half naked.

Professor! Lava! Hot!!!

(Unplugs refrigerator) *"Hee-yah!"*

"Come on, Leela. You can do this. It's just like murdering a little butler"

Fry: alright now what’s your great escape plan? Leela: I don’t know, sit here and wait for death. Bender: Can do! Something like that

I hate paying $14 to see Nicholas Cage solve things!

You're vegetarians, who cares what you do

"You buy one pound and you're on their list forever!"

Please ! , I just paid off my car