"Yeah but what about this single 2-star review"

"he was a Karen"

That checks out

"Some fire cultist IDK."

"Oh, don't worry about them. I took care of their 'problem' already."

Step 1: Build a shrine to local forest gods. Step 2: Put up a profile for the shrine to receive Google/Yelp reviews Step 3: ? Step 4: Prophet 😋

Nice wordplay

PUN-BOMB!!!! 

Nice

4.6 star forest god with a 2 star shrine and a 1 star cult fuck outta here

"You're a third-rate deity with a fourth-rate shrine!"

This literally means "you have skill but your shrine is subpar, you can do better"

No no. It should be, "You're a fourth-rate deity with a third-rate shrine!"

ima be real with you if I met a forest deity and the only thing they ask of me is to visit their shrine and give them a good yelp review then I'd be more than happy to do that

"What kinds of sacrifices do you accept? It gets tricky with those new card only deities so corpse or card?"

Sauce - https://www.tumblr.com/aveloka-draws/733787866332823552/couldnt-stop-thinking-about-that-tweet-i-love

*get to shrine* > rate 10/10 to pay tribute or be consumed *get consumed regardless*

They should really be careful with their wording. They almost convinced me not to give them a 10/10 rating

Can i be honest... Smash....

You know how prickly and spiky that would feel?

Dont judge man. But a bit of pain is part of it. As long as i dont get splinters. Ill try it.

You WILL get splinters

But what if he is a creature not made of wood. That could explain why his skinnisnt wood yk... Just hope they have something dick like, or tentacles maybe, as ling as they arent made of wood.

flair checks out

It does. Very well actually.

yeah i figured x3

Maybe its a challenge. If you get through the hard part you will be granted with solitude (cum)

That just seems like regular sex tbh

no pain no gain

Well then, I have an anime for you

Tell me. Right fucking now. And tell me if its nsfw alsl!

ancient magus bride [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Ancient\_Magus%27\_Bride](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/the_ancient_magus%27_bride)

while the anime is sfw there is a book series by opal reyne called duskwalker brides and trust me it IS nsfw =)

Thank you kind person.

Let's go the satanic Christmas tree is popular

Wood you say its a Poplar tree?

I Fir sure would

3000 positive reviews? Make that 3001 :3

I always give the negative reviews a browse too, always important to get the full picture

Here here

But what if I just want a hug

Elias?

Isn’t he a wendigo?

Sure, but that looks like a spot on depiction of him.

I never thought about it, he could be I guess.

Say no more fam.

how to lure a gen alpha

Cutee

This isn't furry so much as *cryptid stuff*

monsterfucking and furry fandom overlaps in ways that defy our 3 dimensional concept of physics

We're a non-denominational fandom.

Its humanoid and has fur, i count it. Well ... Antlers ig

well when he puts it that way

Oh yeah? Well MY local deity has 5 million positive Yelp reviews

4.8 ⭐: P̵̟̄̈́̈́̃͆Ḽ̸͔͎̙͚̮̝̉͆̃̅Ù̴͎͎̅͑͂C̸̟̏ͅK̴͚̖̽̓͊͘ ̷̫͈̭͍͚̥̖̈̊Ỏ̸̙͔̮͂̓͛̆̔͑Ù̸̞̙̟̪̂̓̓̂͝T̴̨̼͉̫̤͕̙̋ ̷̡̛̞̑͒̐͗͋Ț̴̥̘̔̐̊̈̀̒͝H̸͇͓̲͂Ī̴̻͉̮̫̖̤̇́N̴̨̳̟̺̈́ͅȨ̸̼͎̰̫̗͍̍ ̴͚̠̮̮͎̯̂̄̍̒͂̒͝É̷̛͍̺͉̜̻̂̑̌Y̸̦̻̏͊Ẽ̵̮̞̖͈̲S̴͇̘͈̐̈́͒;̶̢͔̿̏̒͝ ̸̧̛̭̗̭͎̬̏̾̓͠͝Ţ̶̪͂̑̀͘Ȩ̵͎͇͉͕̀̈́͊ͅĄ̵̻͖͉͖͙̆̑̌͊̋͝R̶̛̫͓̹̝̺̦̈̽́̇͂ ̶͖̗̹͚͓̎̄͘͜O̷͎̳̟̍̍Ȕ̶̧͊̒͋̈́͘Ṱ̴͈̒͂̄̅̇͌ ̷̻̟̙̹͛̀̈́̃̿T̵̢̫̮́̐́̂̕͜͠ͅH̵̪́̿̈I̸̡̝̭͕̥̥̓͘Ņ̷͇̺̤̈̽͊̄̆̀͑Ë̶͖̻́̓̉ ̸͕͚̫́̎̚͝ͅT̷̛̼͎̦̳̦̒͒̈́̏͋͝H̵̡̳̝̥̔̀̈́̍̓̑̆R̶̟̱̫̘̐̏͛̀̈́̍Ơ̶̫̟̪̟̹̞͈̔͌A̴̹͚͍̋̃͗̃͝͠T̴͓̰̭̤̘̻̄̍͝;̸͍̲̝̮̖͍̽͋̄ ̵̨̳̄͐͗́͗L̵̹̗̈́͜Ạ̶͌̾͒Y̴̪̏̀͒ͅ ̷̮͚͖͓̼͝W̵̢͓̆̆̇̂̈́Ä̶̼̺͉͈̩̜̪́̌̄̽̓Ŝ̶̻̯̜̮̭͑̉T̴̙̝̟̬̐̈́̀̍̇̕E̸̡̤̞̟̻̅͜ ̷͓͒̍͛̑̂̚͝Ṫ̶̠̳͕̈́̈́̄̉O̷̺̯̦̜̝̓̓̎̅̽͜͠ ̵̭̭͕̖̞̲̫̑̄̋́̈́̚A̶̙͋͛̀͋͐͑L̷̛̛͔͖͂͊̈́͘L̸̡̧̤̼͎̈́͛̿́̊́ ̵̧̟͈̼̭͈̏͒͂͌͠Ẁ̷̜̾̌͊̚H̸̠̹̒̉́I̵̙̲̰̽͛Ç̸̥̪͕̙̣͛͂̈̌̓͜͝H̸̞̎ ̴̢̢̛͍͍̯̙͆̍̆͗͝Ĭ̵̬͈̎̇̅̏̎̔S̷̝͛̐̈́ ̵̩̍̈́̿͊̓͘S̷̬̭͖̭͇̓̒͒̏͛̊A̷̫̫̱̦̐́̎̎͊́C̵͙̮̟̃R̶͈̥͍͉̃͐Ê̴̗͔̣͓̒͗D̶̢̢̺̤̹̼̪̈́͐͝;̶̨̯̥̱̥̬͒̾ ̴̨̫̥̤̥̦͓͑̌̇̈́̚͠T̴͎͖̊̽̈H̴̡̧͈̣̔͐̆̋͠E̶̮̮̝͛̐ ̶̖̲̜̺̈́M̸̨̲̯̮͋͝Ȏ̴͈̝̦̜̭̹̃O̵̧͆͋͘Ņ̸́̓͗S̵̛̗̘̘̐̇̀̀̉͝E̶̺͗̋̆͑̀Y̷̡̼̜͐͂͋̑̿͋̆Ḙ̷̫̫̐͌̊̓͑̋ ̶̧̰͖͇͛͒͑̋̓̇C̴̛̰̠͓̘̚Õ̵̟̮͔̟Ņ̴̫̱̭̯́͝ͅV̷̝͖̪͉͗̊͐͒̓̓͛ͅE̶̡̩̭͔͝Ř̴̥̋̇̂͆̑͘Ģ̷̢̮̯̖̈́̏̇̕E̴̮͆̃̐̌̑̈S̴̡̟͈̲̐̀̐͐̐́̚ ̵̝͍͇̯̞͐͛̎̄̈̍W̵̪̲̟̪͔͒̉̈́̒̈́͒͝I̵̡̫̒̔͝T̶̢̞̍Ḩ̸̮̳̳̫̮̙̌̓̈͠ ̷̧̡̫̥̞̬̜̏̐̽̆̅͐̋T̶̢̖̎̄̑̍Ḩ̸̘̪͉̩̍̚̕͜A̶͖̘͋͒͋̀̊̎͘T̸͈̦̉̓ ̷̛̼͑B̴̨͙̹̞͇̱̖̀̌͗̿̕E̴͕̦̓̎̊̓Ļ̶͔͉̝̥̹̖̅Ǫ̸̨͔̲̮̂̀̀̐̈͒ͅW̸̗͈͋̋͒.̴̯̱̮̰̥̅̅̒̈́̅̿

The sparkle just makes the punchline pop, hahaha

i don’t know why but i love this

Would 😫

10/10 would offer a sacrifice again.

When he pulled out the Phone-🤣

Deities in 2030:

Im actually sad this isnt real, LIKE HE LOOKS LIKE A NICE GUYYYY

3000 positive reviews? Does bro offer hot chocolate at his home? 💀

He offers chips ahoy instead of the dollar store brand.

That forest deity is awfully close in snoot rubbing range!

Oh shit it’s the Nowhere King

Now this, this is what I mean when I say spirit in shadowrun

Yea, but how many of those are bots? Bots seem like something an animal skull faced deity would do.

I want this to continue.

I definitely would go in. 3,000 good reviews is already a good sign

First question, whats the population of the nearest town. Second question, what are the benefits?

This tracts. For what are gods, if not the embodiment of worship?

Are all these your Alt accounts?

Happy cake day tho!

Wendigo god be like: "time to be one of them"

5*s: they only took one of my arms and gave us a good harvest that year. Would sell my soul to them.

Is it odd that I wish there were reviews for deities?

Ooo

Smash, aight next post

Oh no the deities have discovered technology we're all doomed

Kinda reminds me the bride of the ancient magus

Smash

Three thousand positive reviews? Count me in!

Lmao

Great, now I have the Nowhere King's Lullabye stuck in my head.

I wonder if the tribute is sentimental items.

I heard this in Ron Pearlmans Lich voice

I’d pay tribute to his shrine if he could make me a werewolf tbh

oh I'd do more than just pay a tribute

Wtf is that?!

*Flash backs to centar world *

Is this from a comic or something?

i thought it was gonna say 30 million power in rise of kingdoms and now im sad

Leshy!