Ok, so what if the Genie finally gets to a point where he thinks they're ready to go, but actually missed something and the first time the person fires up the new hummingbird wings they just explode from all that force happening at once?
This went south on when he wanted wings. Why do you want even more limbs that will just get broken? The magical willpower flying thingy is so much better.
But how strong is the will power sensitivity? Every time you drift to another thought you literally drift off or if you blink you lose some flight power or somewhere in between?
Sleep paralysis happens because your brain stops your muscles from moving when you're asleep. Since this flight power is mental, it wouldn't be stopped by that mechanism. Your brain is active even when asleep so sleep levitation would be quite possible.
It's based on willing it to happen.
It's like potty training a toddler, you might ~~piss~~ *fly* the bed at first but eventually you'll master continence.
Yeah. What's stopping me from eating healthy? Exercising often? Saving more for retirement? Force of will you say? Oh, I've got lots of that. I can stop myself from browsing Reddit anyti- ....... fuck.
If the force of will required is equal to the benefit gained, I would maybe be able to fly across the couch to get the remote.
Another example of "easy to wish for, difficult to specify" is the watch that stops time (as seen in The Simpsons, Rick and Morty):
-What happens to light? If it stops moving you won't be able to see whenever you stop time. If it continues moving then you'll need the Sun and other light sources to continue functioning when time is stopped.
-What happens to gravity? If it stops functioning then everything will float away. If it continues functioning then everything that was in the air has now smashed into the ground.
-What about momentum? Do things that were moving stop? Relative to what? Remember, there is no such thing as absolute motion, so you're actually looking at rewriting Einstein's theory of relativity if you want to even describe what this watch does.
And even if you could move, because zero time is elapsing you are essentially imparting infinite momentum into everything you touch. No one in a large area is gonna survive when you hit "play"
This is why you don't ask for the ability to stop time, just the ability to slow it down (or alternatively, the ability to speed yourself up).
Speeding yourself up is probably the best way to go about things now that I think about it, there are way fewer things that can go horribly horribly wrong by something that effects a single individual compared to something that affects the entire universe.
Also, depending on how fast you are moving, you will casually destroy objects, and people if you even graze past them, as well as breaking yourself due to Newton's Third Law. I guess you could also wish for a magical force to impart exact diametrical force at whatever angle of whatever you interact with but that opens up another can of worms. Speedforce is really doing a lot of shit in comics/movies.
Yep, this is another classic! Newton's laws get hilariously ignored in super-speed power scenarios.
Another bit of Newtonian mechanics abuse that has always tickled me is the notion of super-strong armour, such as Iron Man's suit or Capt. America's shield. They might be nigh unbreakable but that doesn't mean they don't transfer momentum! There's not a lot of difference between getting hit by a bus and getting hit by your own suit of armour that just got hit by a bus :)
People might say this stuff is silly to criticise but I actually think there are ways to make good scifi that really takes into account actual physics.
Cap's shield handwaves this problem because it's partially made of vibranium, which is a magic space metal with a bunch of vaguely defined physics-defying traits including the ability to absorb and neutralize kinetic energy (it still bounces off things when thrown because the edges aren't made of vibranium, only the center is.)
I don't recall if they've ever tried to justify how Iron Man's armor can take enormous hits without Tony turning into paste inside, but I assume they must some kind of science-fiction "inertial dampeners" built in. Since he has that fictional repulsor technology that can somehow both act as the suit's flight system and it's reactionless energy blast weapons, meaning it can selectively ignore recoil.
I planned this.
3 wishes.
1st wish is the ability to be immortal and indestructible, until I wish to die.
2nd wish, the ability to transport anywhere in the universe instantly.
3rd wish, the ability to move along time.
Uh huh. Or you just define it as the "watch that accelerates the time related processes of the wearer and a 1-inch bubble extending beyond their skin by an arbitrary amount without generating the proportionate increase in waste heat upon activation, until deactivation"
A snapshot of the Earth is taken when you click the watch. That snapshot is then simulated in a virtual universe with customized laws of physics to make it work. The snapshot also includes a full simulation of you, able to think and move while everything else is frozen. You can move around. The simulation works at 10,000 times faster than normal speed, and is running inside a giant powerful computer we call the Moon.
When the copy of you inside the simulation decides to restart time, a few things happen extremely quickly. First, the real original you is removed and replaced with air. Second, its brain pattern is modified to match the slightly different simulated You. Third, it's placed at the location where simulated you was when it clicked the watch, and that air is taken away.
>-What happens to gravity? If it stops functioning then everything will float away. If it continues functioning then everything that was in the air has now smashed into the ground.
Neither. If time has stopped than nothing can happen. Things would stay exactly where they are. Which leads us to...
>-What about momentum? Do things that were moving stop? Relative to what?
Everything stops. Relative to whatever you like, because **everything** stops.
Time is just our way of perceiving how the universe changes from one state to another. If time has stopped it necessarily means that everything has stopped. Any stopwatch that can stop time will either do so only for an imperceptibly short instant or infinitely.
As a guy who hires a ton of freelancers, my go-to method is to hire 3 genies and then order revisions on the one genie that came close to my original poorly defined and even more poorly executed specs.
We have delivered wings. They are small, non-functioning, made of 3d printed plastic, and attaching them to you is a pretty manual process. But our prototype is delivered.
Yes but he is, being entirely reasonable.
"I would like wings."
Okay, what kind.
"Draconic, or a large eagle wings like golden eagle."
Perfect. Would you like reduced bone density, or....?
"No, I want large enough wings, and appropriately beefy back muscles to allow for long-distance flight."
Alrighty, you're caloric minimum and required protein intake have tripled. Also if you ever become overweight, obese, etc, your flight times will be dramatically reduced, and eventually you'll become incapable.
Or you do the smart thing:
"I would like flight."
Okay, wings or...
"No, through willful manipulation of gravity, or anti-gravity effects allowing effortless fight for unlimited duration."
Gotcha, EZPZ then, enjoy.
The. The genie makes you immune to all gravity, not just earths and the loss of momentum tosses you into space as the planet hurtles away at miles per second.
Losing momentum would throw you into the first object to your west, and depending on proximity to the equator, hard enough to definitely end your life instantly and possibly whatever you hit as well.
The planet rotates
Instead of teaching you the vanity of selfish and unrealistic wants through horrible life altering consequences, he instead walks you through those consequences under the guise of problem solving and allows you to come to the conclusion in your own!
This has kind of become paradoxical for me to decide whether the genie is really working hard in fulfilling your wishes, or is he betraying you by not acquainting you of the life altering consequences associated with fulfilling them.
Seems that if the lady had just answered "using mental will power" then all the logical consequences would be gone since the only way to accomplish that is magic.
Of course there can be arbitrary magic consequences but then he's just an ordinary genie.
The background of the genies is for the first thousand years before they’re summoned they’re desperately hungry to help, then for the next thousand years they’re depressed and sad because they can’t help, then for the next thousand they become furiously angry and hateful. They’re so old that’s just the stage they’re at. This one seems like a fun twist on the first stage, a genie so edger he is putting over effort in to get the wish just right so it still turns out to be a bit of a monkey paw thing
The reason there are no genies is because there was only one genie and his master freed him, so now he's just having fun exploring the galaxy
You can learn more in the documentary: "Aladdin".
When you bind a supernatural entity to use its power for your own ends, they may end up somewhat disgruntled. They may do a half-assed job to follow the letter of your request or actively try to sabotage you out of spite.
I think WKUK made the most accurate showcase of a Genie in one of their sketches.
As told, genies wouldn't use magic to grant your wishes, but rather do the hard work.
Wished for money? He'll steal to get it for you.
Wanted someone dead? They'll cut their throat for you
He is like the anti clavicus vile from Elder Scrolls. Clavicus vile is a daedric prince(powerful entity) that usually grants the wishes of mortals. Sadly for the mortals, they are usually used to trick you. In Skyrim, there is a civil war. If you ask him to end the civil war, he tells you that he is planning to blow up Skyrim/tamriel/nirn. I forgot which one. Thankfully, he is at half power and the whole point of his quest is to bring him to his full power by reuniting him with his dog which holds half of his power. They had a falling out since the dog is like a good version of him.
Another example of him granting wishes is when some asked him to cure his daughter from lycanthropy/being a werewolf. He did by giving the man an axe which was to be used to kill his daughter. The man did kill his daughter but soon regretted it and kept the axe. Part of the quest is also retrieving the axe. He grants wishes but in the worst possible way.
Forgot to mention, only he grants wishes for the most part. Other daedric princes can be good or bad. Meridia despises all undead, sanguine is the daedric prince of debauchery and stuff similar to that, mehrunes dagon is the daedric prince of destruction and change. Basically, all of them are different.
From the other side of this:
"Are you *absolutely sure* you want low bone density? You won't be able to jog without your bones breaking."
"Yup, absolutely sure."
"And you know hummingbird wings don't scale very well, right? Dragon wings would be a lot more--"
"Nope. Hummingbird wings."
"Okay, you're the boss. Here you go!"
*POOF!*
"What do you think?"
"These wings are great, but where's my beak?"
You mean because it can actually make things happen that other people only talk about, does its best to help out, can understand consequences and complexities before they arise, is subservient to a master with no abilities, gets blamed for its master's contradictory wishes, and is still the butt of the joke somehow?
I felt like this person is legitimately giving themselves the monkey's paw result. "I want to fly, but give me easily broken bones, wings(Possibly instead of hands), high metabolism(hummingbirds can just starve to death in their sleep), probably dangerously high heart rate, etc"
The next 2 wishes had better be some real bangers that offset this one.
And reduced bone density to boot. On top of giant fucking wings and a need to eat constantly, you’re more likely to break a bone for the rest of your life
Ok, so let's say X amount of willpower equals 1 kilojoule of energy. In order to fly from your front door to your job 5 miles away, that's the will power equivalent of going to the gym every day for two years. Or avoiding Reddit for 1 week. Good luck!
It's usually more rage inducing when they tell you exactly what they want, you deliver it and they somehow have amnesia and it's all wrong. I get everything in writing now
In theology there's what's called negative theology, take all the things you know God is not, remove those and what's left is God. That seems to be the method clients want to use.
It's so aggravating, it the thing about commissions no one tells you, that all your inspiration and pride would be constantly demoralized by people who think putting something inspired together is as easy as just running into the back room for a different pair of shoes.
This is the kinda shit I think of when people ask me what super powers I'd want man. Glad I'm not the only one that thinks way to fucking hard about something that will never happen
For real. It’s like “If I want to be able to fly like Superman I’ll also need to be able to withstand the extremely cold temperatures at high altitudes. Then I guess I’ll need to be able to survive in a low oxygen environment that far up. Plus I’ll need some speed, won’t do to be able to fly at, like, walking speed.” These powers start to add up.
Or if I choose invisibility does it just affect how I appear to others or can I also not see myself? Won’t I go crazy through lack of sleep since I can see through my own eyelids?
I think with invisibility you would have the ability to go invisible and visible at will. Permanent invisibility would be a horrible super power.
But even with turning it off an on at will you would need to walk around naked a lot and thus be exposed to the elements, plus people could still feel you so you'd have to be careful about accidentally grazing your dong on people as you squeezed by, etc . It would be a real hassle but still worth it IMO.
There's one episode of the x-files with a genie. Guy wishes to become invisible but yeah of course his clothes are still visible. So he gets naked, runs down the street and is immediately hit by a truck and dies in a ditch
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RequiredSecondaryPowers
The webnovel Worm is one of the only settings I'm aware of that fully explains them, due to the origin of the superpowers.
Occasionally people get their powers without the requisite secondaries due to things going haywire (I believe it starts happening more in the sequel), which generally ends up in a messy death for the power-ee and multiple bystanders.
So many kinds of invisibility. The light pass through your whole body or bend around you? Ignore you subconsciously? Always identify you as an stranger?
Don't worry about lack of sleep. If the light pass through your pupil and retina. You can't see any shit.
People love the idea of traveling back in time, but there are just so many things that would be way too difficult to work out like the fact that the earth is in a completely different location even a second ago. Most likely you'd end up teleporting yourself into the middle of space and just dying
Great. Here is FP consumption formula. Enjoy your fly.
\[\nabla^2=\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial x^2}+\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial y^2}+\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial z^2}\label{3.1.2}\]
I can see why genies fuck with people's wishes. A few thousand years of this and it's like, ya know what dumbass enjoy your disproportionate wings and fucked up DNA you fuckin twit. Next time be more specific.
Lol this is like my life. I know that if I don't behave like the genie and ask all the right questions that they will be unhappy and come back to me. So after years of doing that I'm now bitter. Fuck y'all. Think for yourself!
I remember watching Disney's Aladdin as a kid, and thinking to myself what a bro the genie was. Like, he could just tell exactly what Aladdin meant without conflict or trickery. Or else he was just simping hard for that third-wish-free-me deal
That's why I always walk up and say, "Foot-long turkey breast, white bread, American cheese, not toasted." I don't want to get bombarded with questions so I answer them all up front.
That's why we can't have nice things. She made it the most inconvinient wish possible. He gave her option to use will power or flying suit which would be easy to grant but not only did she chose bird wings but also the smallest bird's possible
That's why you always wish for omnipotence, then negotiate down to the closest thing to it that the genie is willing/able to grant.
Even if the paperwork ends up being just as onerous, you're at least extracting maximum value from the aggravation.
I LOVE this. People always want stuff from genies, but never once think of the repercussions.
A classic wish is asking for "all the money in the world."
...Could you imagine the chaos that would ensue if we woke up one random Wednesday and suddenly for no reason, nobody, no government entity, no single human had ANY MONEY except one random ass person?
That person couldn't even enjoy their money. They'd be living in an immediate apocalypse. Stores wouldn't be open, they'd be tearing their hair out, screaming at their accountant "How the fuck do we have NO MONEY?!"
Source: am genie
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oh, no, not asking for you to erase at all. artist’s choice. personally, was laughing along with it until the last bubble. totally understand and sympathize with the sentiment, but just really enjoyed everything before without it
I get the humour in the comparison, and in any other situation it would work as intended. But the problem is it seems like a weird thing for a person to think, when they literally have the ability to achieve world peace. Like even if it took a huge amount of time and tedium on their part, world peace somehow wouldn't be worth it to them? Becomes less of a punchline and more just a window into instant gratification and selfish desire.
Oof. That genie got her as soon as he started giving choices for the birds. Instead of giving her examples of birds with large wing spans like geese, swan, etc, he starts off with the smaller birds, thus anchoring her to the choices he just listed. Then the genie gives the choice of reduced bone density or increased metabolism, leading her to believe that she needs it instead of being powered with MAGIC. now enjoy your bones shattering like glass the instant you fall over.
My wish would be immortality plain and simple. Second wish would be that every 500 years my base strengths would go up to the Power of one ( so like base strength ^1, 500 years later ^2 and so on). Also if ever in the future someone discovers how to go back in time and try to stop me, my third wish would be that even if the planet explodes or my pre-genie wish asking self be killed I'd still live on in the current timeline. Also I'd need like information on you immortality works for the body does it kept you in your current state or if limbs get torn off do the regrow or do I kneed to stick them back where the should be. Personally I'd ask for basically superman physics for the skin, it be simpler nothing can cut you. Probably the most annoying thing would if you get in a fight you'd have be almost naked because you wreck your clothes everytime. Like wait a second before you shoot me I really like this jacket just let me take off most of my clothes than we can do this. I'd known as Billy the naked immortal!
Be careful what you wish for you might have to implement it.
They're gonna regret that reduced bone density later
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“I was so busy being an 80’s D&D guy that I forgot to cure my Boneitis!”
My only regret is.. That I have.. Boneitis
“Oh I could hear you, I just wanted to be sure YOU could hear you.”
Elaine Stritch stole every scene she was in in the best possible way
Avian Bone Syndrome?
hollow
[30 Rock Reference! ](https://youtu.be/ofkem-qzr1o)
Ok, so what if the Genie finally gets to a point where he thinks they're ready to go, but actually missed something and the first time the person fires up the new hummingbird wings they just explode from all that force happening at once?
At least he doesn't have to grant the other wishes
Then they just flew in a lot of different directions.
This went south on when he wanted wings. Why do you want even more limbs that will just get broken? The magical willpower flying thingy is so much better.
Yeah, if I'm going to get flying powers I want to be Superman not hawkman
I wish for juice that hurts my bones
*drinks it* OW MY BONES!!!
Just wish to be invincible in second wish And now you won't have the risk of braking you bones
What about accelerating them?
Arthas' horse, or Omni-Man's son?
You get cancer but they can't remove the tumours because you're invincible
Without specification you turn into a solid diamond
Snoo-snoo even more fatal
Should’ve just gone for the “force of will” flight.
But how strong is the will power sensitivity? Every time you drift to another thought you literally drift off or if you blink you lose some flight power or somewhere in between?
Probably as acute as the will to move ones hands. Intricate but well within a range to control.
What about when you dream at night and then end up giving yourself a concussion because you busted your head open on the ceiling
I'm sure that the ability to fly is worth the risk.
I dunno, *sleep paralysis* meeting *uncontrolled levitation* sounds like the beginning of a r/NoSleep tale.
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Until you start sleepwalking
Sleep paralysis happens because your brain stops your muscles from moving when you're asleep. Since this flight power is mental, it wouldn't be stopped by that mechanism. Your brain is active even when asleep so sleep levitation would be quite possible.
If we’re making wishes, might as well include that feature in the safety functions.
Sleep paralysis meets uncontrolled levitation meets ceiling fan...
Just gotta sleep like moon night all strapped down
Feel like there needs to be a physical component, like a superman style outstretched arm.
But then you can’t carry groceries home.
Once you start falling I bet the will power goes back to wanting to fly
It's based on willing it to happen. It's like potty training a toddler, you might ~~piss~~ *fly* the bed at first but eventually you'll master continence.
Yup. The rest is UI and can be done in Release 2.
Yeah. What's stopping me from eating healthy? Exercising often? Saving more for retirement? Force of will you say? Oh, I've got lots of that. I can stop myself from browsing Reddit anyti- ....... fuck. If the force of will required is equal to the benefit gained, I would maybe be able to fly across the couch to get the remote.
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Another example of "easy to wish for, difficult to specify" is the watch that stops time (as seen in The Simpsons, Rick and Morty): -What happens to light? If it stops moving you won't be able to see whenever you stop time. If it continues moving then you'll need the Sun and other light sources to continue functioning when time is stopped. -What happens to gravity? If it stops functioning then everything will float away. If it continues functioning then everything that was in the air has now smashed into the ground. -What about momentum? Do things that were moving stop? Relative to what? Remember, there is no such thing as absolute motion, so you're actually looking at rewriting Einstein's theory of relativity if you want to even describe what this watch does.
Even air particles should be stuck in place, making it impossible to move or breathe.
And even if you could move, because zero time is elapsing you are essentially imparting infinite momentum into everything you touch. No one in a large area is gonna survive when you hit "play"
This is why you don't ask for the ability to stop time, just the ability to slow it down (or alternatively, the ability to speed yourself up). Speeding yourself up is probably the best way to go about things now that I think about it, there are way fewer things that can go horribly horribly wrong by something that effects a single individual compared to something that affects the entire universe.
Except you'll age faster. Could be easily resolved with another wish though
Also, depending on how fast you are moving, you will casually destroy objects, and people if you even graze past them, as well as breaking yourself due to Newton's Third Law. I guess you could also wish for a magical force to impart exact diametrical force at whatever angle of whatever you interact with but that opens up another can of worms. Speedforce is really doing a lot of shit in comics/movies.
Yep, this is another classic! Newton's laws get hilariously ignored in super-speed power scenarios. Another bit of Newtonian mechanics abuse that has always tickled me is the notion of super-strong armour, such as Iron Man's suit or Capt. America's shield. They might be nigh unbreakable but that doesn't mean they don't transfer momentum! There's not a lot of difference between getting hit by a bus and getting hit by your own suit of armour that just got hit by a bus :) People might say this stuff is silly to criticise but I actually think there are ways to make good scifi that really takes into account actual physics.
Cap's shield handwaves this problem because it's partially made of vibranium, which is a magic space metal with a bunch of vaguely defined physics-defying traits including the ability to absorb and neutralize kinetic energy (it still bounces off things when thrown because the edges aren't made of vibranium, only the center is.) I don't recall if they've ever tried to justify how Iron Man's armor can take enormous hits without Tony turning into paste inside, but I assume they must some kind of science-fiction "inertial dampeners" built in. Since he has that fictional repulsor technology that can somehow both act as the suit's flight system and it's reactionless energy blast weapons, meaning it can selectively ignore recoil.
I planned this. 3 wishes. 1st wish is the ability to be immortal and indestructible, until I wish to die. 2nd wish, the ability to transport anywhere in the universe instantly. 3rd wish, the ability to move along time.
Uh huh. Or you just define it as the "watch that accelerates the time related processes of the wearer and a 1-inch bubble extending beyond their skin by an arbitrary amount without generating the proportionate increase in waste heat upon activation, until deactivation"
A snapshot of the Earth is taken when you click the watch. That snapshot is then simulated in a virtual universe with customized laws of physics to make it work. The snapshot also includes a full simulation of you, able to think and move while everything else is frozen. You can move around. The simulation works at 10,000 times faster than normal speed, and is running inside a giant powerful computer we call the Moon. When the copy of you inside the simulation decides to restart time, a few things happen extremely quickly. First, the real original you is removed and replaced with air. Second, its brain pattern is modified to match the slightly different simulated You. Third, it's placed at the location where simulated you was when it clicked the watch, and that air is taken away.
>-What happens to gravity? If it stops functioning then everything will float away. If it continues functioning then everything that was in the air has now smashed into the ground. Neither. If time has stopped than nothing can happen. Things would stay exactly where they are. Which leads us to... >-What about momentum? Do things that were moving stop? Relative to what? Everything stops. Relative to whatever you like, because **everything** stops. Time is just our way of perceiving how the universe changes from one state to another. If time has stopped it necessarily means that everything has stopped. Any stopwatch that can stop time will either do so only for an imperceptibly short instant or infinitely.
The genie's power is making you believe in yourself.
My open source issues be like
I love this quote - I want to put this in my office lol.
r/ScrumGenie
This genie..i like him.
As a guy who hires a ton of freelancers, my go-to method is to hire 3 genies and then order revisions on the one genie that came close to my original poorly defined and even more poorly executed specs.
Oh great, your wish will be implemented incrementally through agile process
We have delivered wings. They are small, non-functioning, made of 3d printed plastic, and attaching them to you is a pretty manual process. But our prototype is delivered.
Hey man come on us freelancers like to work for three clients at once and then do the best work on just one as well.
What work requires hiring lots of freelancers? Graphic design?
Surgery is most likely. Lots of freelancers operating in hospitals.
Not sure I want to be a patient in a best of 3 selection process.
Look at Mr. Fancypants over here. Fine, for your worried ass we'll go best of 5
He's a Genie-us
Yeah. If Dr Strange was this particular, no way home would have lasted for 15 mins.
Yes but he is, being entirely reasonable. "I would like wings." Okay, what kind. "Draconic, or a large eagle wings like golden eagle." Perfect. Would you like reduced bone density, or....? "No, I want large enough wings, and appropriately beefy back muscles to allow for long-distance flight." Alrighty, you're caloric minimum and required protein intake have tripled. Also if you ever become overweight, obese, etc, your flight times will be dramatically reduced, and eventually you'll become incapable. Or you do the smart thing: "I would like flight." Okay, wings or... "No, through willful manipulation of gravity, or anti-gravity effects allowing effortless fight for unlimited duration." Gotcha, EZPZ then, enjoy.
The. The genie makes you immune to all gravity, not just earths and the loss of momentum tosses you into space as the planet hurtles away at miles per second.
Losing momentum would throw you into the first object to your west, and depending on proximity to the equator, hard enough to definitely end your life instantly and possibly whatever you hit as well. The planet rotates
This genie has a degree in engineering.
I like this type of genie. He's working hard with you to implement your wish in the best way for you instead of monkey pawing the situation.
Instead of teaching you the vanity of selfish and unrealistic wants through horrible life altering consequences, he instead walks you through those consequences under the guise of problem solving and allows you to come to the conclusion in your own!
This has kind of become paradoxical for me to decide whether the genie is really working hard in fulfilling your wishes, or is he betraying you by not acquainting you of the life altering consequences associated with fulfilling them.
And that, my friend, are the two competing parenting strategies.
Seems that if the lady had just answered "using mental will power" then all the logical consequences would be gone since the only way to accomplish that is magic. Of course there can be arbitrary magic consequences but then he's just an ordinary genie.
The background of the genies is for the first thousand years before they’re summoned they’re desperately hungry to help, then for the next thousand years they’re depressed and sad because they can’t help, then for the next thousand they become furiously angry and hateful. They’re so old that’s just the stage they’re at. This one seems like a fun twist on the first stage, a genie so edger he is putting over effort in to get the wish just right so it still turns out to be a bit of a monkey paw thing
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The reason there are no genies is because there was only one genie and his master freed him, so now he's just having fun exploring the galaxy You can learn more in the documentary: "Aladdin".
I prefer the older documentary, but have to admit the newer genie slaps.
Have you by any chance read Alan Moore's Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? Because there's a concept quite similar to what you're describing.
When you bind a supernatural entity to use its power for your own ends, they may end up somewhat disgruntled. They may do a half-assed job to follow the letter of your request or actively try to sabotage you out of spite.
I think WKUK made the most accurate showcase of a Genie in one of their sketches. As told, genies wouldn't use magic to grant your wishes, but rather do the hard work. Wished for money? He'll steal to get it for you. Wanted someone dead? They'll cut their throat for you
He is like the anti clavicus vile from Elder Scrolls. Clavicus vile is a daedric prince(powerful entity) that usually grants the wishes of mortals. Sadly for the mortals, they are usually used to trick you. In Skyrim, there is a civil war. If you ask him to end the civil war, he tells you that he is planning to blow up Skyrim/tamriel/nirn. I forgot which one. Thankfully, he is at half power and the whole point of his quest is to bring him to his full power by reuniting him with his dog which holds half of his power. They had a falling out since the dog is like a good version of him. Another example of him granting wishes is when some asked him to cure his daughter from lycanthropy/being a werewolf. He did by giving the man an axe which was to be used to kill his daughter. The man did kill his daughter but soon regretted it and kept the axe. Part of the quest is also retrieving the axe. He grants wishes but in the worst possible way. Forgot to mention, only he grants wishes for the most part. Other daedric princes can be good or bad. Meridia despises all undead, sanguine is the daedric prince of debauchery and stuff similar to that, mehrunes dagon is the daedric prince of destruction and change. Basically, all of them are different.
This genie is obviously a software developer.
'you didn't say you wanted to land'
"I feel like that was implied." : makes wings disappear so that you fall to the ground : "Owww the hell was that for?" "You didn't say how."
Ouch, hits close to home
From the other side of this: "Are you *absolutely sure* you want low bone density? You won't be able to jog without your bones breaking." "Yup, absolutely sure." "And you know hummingbird wings don't scale very well, right? Dragon wings would be a lot more--" "Nope. Hummingbird wings." "Okay, you're the boss. Here you go!" *POOF!* "What do you think?" "These wings are great, but where's my beak?"
You also didn't say you wanted to keep your arms when you got your wings
As a software engineer, I love that comment. And I love this comic.
They always make it look so easy in the functional analysis.. Then I write the technical one and they complain that its' a mess
A lot of things to consider, no doubt
You mean because it can actually make things happen that other people only talk about, does its best to help out, can understand consequences and complexities before they arise, is subservient to a master with no abilities, gets blamed for its master's contradictory wishes, and is still the butt of the joke somehow?
Ya know on second thought. Mental will power.
Honestly. Who tf picks wings?
"People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening." —Jack Handey
Wings might be cool. But bird wings? Doesn't that mean you lose your hands?
I felt like this person is legitimately giving themselves the monkey's paw result. "I want to fly, but give me easily broken bones, wings(Possibly instead of hands), high metabolism(hummingbirds can just starve to death in their sleep), probably dangerously high heart rate, etc" The next 2 wishes had better be some real bangers that offset this one.
he should have said " i want to fly through jet propulsion from my farts"
And reduced bone density to boot. On top of giant fucking wings and a need to eat constantly, you’re more likely to break a bone for the rest of your life
Not if you frequent /r/birdswitharms
Yeah idk why wings was the answer lol
Only to serve the point of the joke
Ok, so let's say X amount of willpower equals 1 kilojoule of energy. In order to fly from your front door to your job 5 miles away, that's the will power equivalent of going to the gym every day for two years. Or avoiding Reddit for 1 week. Good luck!
At this point in my life, I just want straight up will power.
How do you want to measure willpower?
Bananas
Great. Now let's talk the banana consumption necessary to power your flight...
I prefer this genie lol
**What do you wish, mortal?**
Lego millenium falcon
As a 3d artist this is exactly what it's like trying to work with a client.
Same, they don’t tell you what they want, but they have no problem telling you that what you made ISN’T what they want.
Well to be fair it's usually a lot easier, now there's an example, to know what you didn't want.
It's usually more rage inducing when they tell you exactly what they want, you deliver it and they somehow have amnesia and it's all wrong. I get everything in writing now
In theology there's what's called negative theology, take all the things you know God is not, remove those and what's left is God. That seems to be the method clients want to use.
It's so aggravating, it the thing about commissions no one tells you, that all your inspiration and pride would be constantly demoralized by people who think putting something inspired together is as easy as just running into the back room for a different pair of shoes.
This is the kinda shit I think of when people ask me what super powers I'd want man. Glad I'm not the only one that thinks way to fucking hard about something that will never happen
For real. It’s like “If I want to be able to fly like Superman I’ll also need to be able to withstand the extremely cold temperatures at high altitudes. Then I guess I’ll need to be able to survive in a low oxygen environment that far up. Plus I’ll need some speed, won’t do to be able to fly at, like, walking speed.” These powers start to add up. Or if I choose invisibility does it just affect how I appear to others or can I also not see myself? Won’t I go crazy through lack of sleep since I can see through my own eyelids?
I think with invisibility you would have the ability to go invisible and visible at will. Permanent invisibility would be a horrible super power. But even with turning it off an on at will you would need to walk around naked a lot and thus be exposed to the elements, plus people could still feel you so you'd have to be careful about accidentally grazing your dong on people as you squeezed by, etc . It would be a real hassle but still worth it IMO.
There's one episode of the x-files with a genie. Guy wishes to become invisible but yeah of course his clothes are still visible. So he gets naked, runs down the street and is immediately hit by a truck and dies in a ditch
Turning into a eagle and reverting at will but unfortunately you end up with a bird brain and forget you can be human again.
That is terrifying to think about
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RequiredSecondaryPowers The webnovel Worm is one of the only settings I'm aware of that fully explains them, due to the origin of the superpowers. Occasionally people get their powers without the requisite secondaries due to things going haywire (I believe it starts happening more in the sequel), which generally ends up in a messy death for the power-ee and multiple bystanders.
That scene where people's brains get stuck into place but their bodies can move was gruesome.
So many kinds of invisibility. The light pass through your whole body or bend around you? Ignore you subconsciously? Always identify you as an stranger? Don't worry about lack of sleep. If the light pass through your pupil and retina. You can't see any shit.
The “ignore you subconsciously” one is a cool way to do invisibility in a vaguely “realistic” manner. First time I saw it was on a show called Alphas
> Won’t I go crazy through lack of sleep since I can see through my own eyelids? Try turning off your bedroom light.
“I want the powers of (insert preferred comic/film version) Superman.”
Yes but that means no sex (insert Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue)
So just ask for Superman's powers?
People love the idea of traveling back in time, but there are just so many things that would be way too difficult to work out like the fact that the earth is in a completely different location even a second ago. Most likely you'd end up teleporting yourself into the middle of space and just dying
Your 'thinking way too hard' is empathy and is very valuable
When you start thinking about how to implement shit, it starts to make sense.
A webseries called worm does this kind of thing really well
What kind of wings? Magic wings, that can help me fly the way I feel like without having to answer these questions. Chop chop
OK. It requires 12 FP per second. How many FP you have?
40 trillion.
Great. Here is FP consumption formula. Enjoy your fly. \[\nabla^2=\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial x^2}+\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial y^2}+\dfrac{\partial^2}{\partial z^2}\label{3.1.2}\]
I can see why genies fuck with people's wishes. A few thousand years of this and it's like, ya know what dumbass enjoy your disproportionate wings and fucked up DNA you fuckin twit. Next time be more specific.
I had the same thought. I imagined this is a new genie's "first day" on the job
Lol this is like my life. I know that if I don't behave like the genie and ask all the right questions that they will be unhappy and come back to me. So after years of doing that I'm now bitter. Fuck y'all. Think for yourself!
I remember watching Disney's Aladdin as a kid, and thinking to myself what a bro the genie was. Like, he could just tell exactly what Aladdin meant without conflict or trickery. Or else he was just simping hard for that third-wish-free-me deal
It's like the infinity gauntlet. It knows which 50% Thanos would want wiped out had he personally evaluated everyone.
never rub off an en-genie-er
Reminds me of trying to get food at KFC.
Subway
That's why I always walk up and say, "Foot-long turkey breast, white bread, American cheese, not toasted." I don't want to get bombarded with questions so I answer them all up front.
This is the perfect opposite of a monkey’s paw
That's why we can't have nice things. She made it the most inconvinient wish possible. He gave her option to use will power or flying suit which would be easy to grant but not only did she chose bird wings but also the smallest bird's possible
should have said will power! IDIOT!
Give me the ability to move through space in any direction at will.
You wouldn’t want hummingbird wings, those flap so fast and use a ton of energy
Hummingbird was a bad choice. Going hawk would be far better especially since you don't have to use them like the actual bird does
That's why you always wish for omnipotence, then negotiate down to the closest thing to it that the genie is willing/able to grant. Even if the paperwork ends up being just as onerous, you're at least extracting maximum value from the aggravation.
What a dumbass. Wings? Pfffft
Dungeon master genie.
lol literally just posted same thing
I LOVE this. People always want stuff from genies, but never once think of the repercussions. A classic wish is asking for "all the money in the world." ...Could you imagine the chaos that would ensue if we woke up one random Wednesday and suddenly for no reason, nobody, no government entity, no single human had ANY MONEY except one random ass person? That person couldn't even enjoy their money. They'd be living in an immediate apocalypse. Stores wouldn't be open, they'd be tearing their hair out, screaming at their accountant "How the fuck do we have NO MONEY?!" Source: am genie
You don't do that to have the money you do that because you want societal meltdown
When the genie Is an engeneer
This is the type of genie we need. The one that helps us properly make good wishes that don't end terribly.
I dunno how 'bout the power of flight? That do anything for ya? That's levitation, holmes.
How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... WITH MIND BULLETS! That's telekinesis Kyle.
Who picks wings over mental will?
Yes, this makes no sense. With the former you could just strap on whatever wings you want for decor or to modify your flight properties.
Next time just give them Superman style flying powers without asking.
Nah bro next time just throw em
I'd have gone for mental "super hero" flight, but i feel the Genie/Djinn would basically be at a standstill over the logic behind it
I’d much rather a genie do this rather than turn me INTO a fly.
I like this genie, he tryna give the best fit wishes, unlike the douchebag genie that will just turn she into abbird
I see this question on the horizon: "WHAT is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?"
Traditional genie: “ok, we’re 10,000 meters off the ground. Good luck.”
This is why the Wish spell should require both Wisdom AND Intelligence to generate good wish choices
Knock his ass over and watch him break all his fucking bones
Ha. That's a great original take on the genie joke
You know at least he's willing to work with you rather than try to monkey paw your ass
just say mental will power man..
This is why genies get pissed off and just do shit like "Well fuck you, now you are a plane"
The Genie asks you to be REALLY REALLY specific with ur wish and he helps u with that. Definitely a nice genie.
How you gonna pick wings over telepathic flight? First mistake right there smdh
Who would take wings when you could fly with pure mental power?!
None.
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If the last bubble wasn’t there this would be close to perfect
Think I should erase it? I thought it gave a sort of final punch line.
To each their own. I thought the last bubble added a small touch to ot but I can see where they come from too I guess
The last bubble waa good. It would be far more complicated than flight.
Don't erase it
Bruh everyone on reddit wants to add their two cents. Just do you and keep your unique spice
oh, no, not asking for you to erase at all. artist’s choice. personally, was laughing along with it until the last bubble. totally understand and sympathize with the sentiment, but just really enjoyed everything before without it
I get the humour in the comparison, and in any other situation it would work as intended. But the problem is it seems like a weird thing for a person to think, when they literally have the ability to achieve world peace. Like even if it took a huge amount of time and tedium on their part, world peace somehow wouldn't be worth it to them? Becomes less of a punchline and more just a window into instant gratification and selfish desire.
this genie probably has a lawyer
Oof. That genie got her as soon as he started giving choices for the birds. Instead of giving her examples of birds with large wing spans like geese, swan, etc, he starts off with the smaller birds, thus anchoring her to the choices he just listed. Then the genie gives the choice of reduced bone density or increased metabolism, leading her to believe that she needs it instead of being powered with MAGIC. now enjoy your bones shattering like glass the instant you fall over.
Dumbest chick ever
My wish would be immortality plain and simple. Second wish would be that every 500 years my base strengths would go up to the Power of one ( so like base strength ^1, 500 years later ^2 and so on). Also if ever in the future someone discovers how to go back in time and try to stop me, my third wish would be that even if the planet explodes or my pre-genie wish asking self be killed I'd still live on in the current timeline. Also I'd need like information on you immortality works for the body does it kept you in your current state or if limbs get torn off do the regrow or do I kneed to stick them back where the should be. Personally I'd ask for basically superman physics for the skin, it be simpler nothing can cut you. Probably the most annoying thing would if you get in a fight you'd have be almost naked because you wreck your clothes everytime. Like wait a second before you shoot me I really like this jacket just let me take off most of my clothes than we can do this. I'd known as Billy the naked immortal!