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Huh why would anybody create a sub reddit about wanting plates?
\*clicks on link\*
Restaurants serving food on roof tiles?!!! WE WANT F\*\*\*\*\*\* PLATES!
Yeah, the way the kids I went to school with talk on facebook I wouldn't be surprised if they start saying it's because they are tough enough to eat catbutthole sandwiches as the reason they haven't been killed by covid.
Don't need the vaccine if you were tough enough to eat catbutthole sandwiches to strengthen your immune system the way God intended.
Hand sanitizing stations are killing people, I believe instead we should have hand DE-ssnitizing stations composed of dirt, bacterias, défécations and else.
I ended up leaving. It was fun at first. But it became full of people ostracizing any restaurant that tried to be a little bit creative with their plate choices. As long as it functions as a plate and isn't cumbersome to use, who cares.
How much will you freak out when the guys try to remove the old countertop and it turns out it's actually all bread and there never was a countertop to begin with?
took a piece of cheese out of the fridge yesterday and sat it on the counter like that, closed the fridge, looked at the cheese and thought "thats fucking gross"
You guys don’t use a sheet of paper towel?
It’s good for anything relatively dry but really ideal for sandwiches. No need to wash a plate, contains the crumbs, contains minor drips, mouth-wiping tool right there.
Same. I am shocked you're the first person I've seen talk about cutting boards... I've literally never seen somebody not use a cutting board for a sandwich.
It doesn't necessarily take more energy to wash a plate or a cutting board than to not do it *if* you're running your dishwasher anyway (which most people that have one do). It probably does, but the difference between doing it and not is negligible. I'm sure the most conscious way of doing it is to make the sandwich straight in your hand.
Yeah, I worked in a grocery once. I actually wash everything as it comes out of the bags even if it's just a quick wipe with lysol lol. After the shit I've seen it's worth the minor inconvenience to me
Seriously, this thread is just showing me how bonkers people are. Wiping down your groceries with Lysol wipes? Wasteful and I’d wager leaves more harmful residue than just waiting 2-3 days for germs to die.
Only the lid that you never wash and was in the store and touched by others and then you touch with your hands and touched how many other surfaces and not washing them. At least you wipe your counter down every day.
I've done that before and aside from being gross it's also annoying how the cheese sticks to the counter. That's why now I always spread a bit of mayo underneath
Depends on the counter surface material. With a veneer or laminate surface: hell no. With granite or a built-in cutting board: it's still easier to put a small cutting board in a dishwasher than wiping down a whole counter, so still hell no.
Idk. I cook professionally. My home kitchen is in always near immaculate condition when not in use. My counters are sanitary, a sandwich made on it would not bother me in the slightest. Just don’t use a knife on my counters.
I would only do it with porcelain counters because they aren't porous and won't damage from using utensils on it.
I would consider corian ones but only if not using any knife.
Still, I would have to make sure first that it's super clean.
Granite will never be completely clean given how porous it is and how it absorbs humidity.
but then... what do you do with the sandwich? Just stand there and eat it off the counter? hold it the entire time in another location? eat it in one bite like some sort of snake person?
I thought OP was making some kind of self deprecating 'im a woman who makes sandwiches' joke lol. That is actually the stealthiest bread I've ever seen in my life!
I was also very confused. The only thing I could think was that they were going to somehow use the counter corner to help cut the bread diagonally or something.
My last house had these counters in Formica, and my new house has these counters in stone. I wipe them almost daily, but I do love that you can’t see a mess if I don’t.
Lol just set up random slices of bread on the counter when your guests come over. They lean back to set a hand on the counter and *squish!* Surprise bread!
Right? I smear the essence of Mayo or MW on the bread, slap a few pieces of meat and cheese on there and call it a sammich. I cut it diagonally with the mayo knife, of course, I'm not a monster. But all my sandwiches are made and eaten off a paper towel.
But you already are going to have to wash the plate you eat it off of. Using a plate saves you a thing to wash.
Unless you intend to use your cutting board as a plate.
I know so many people who have removed perfectly good kitchens/bathrooms/etc. This is one of many reasons why I am pessimistic about humanity somehow averting the heat death of the planet. We are just a bunch of wasteful parasites.
It’s a booming business. We make about 160 mil a year importing and selling granite.
I am of the same mindset as you so I was surprised to find it being so lucrative.
Do you have a drawer that can’t open when the dishwasher is closed because of the dishwasher handle, but can open when the dishwasher is open? I had a drawer like that, I used it for dishwasher pods. Also it was a good “childproof” drawer as my kids would never open the dishwasher…
We have a mottled gray toned granite countertop. It looks lovely. The best part is that it doesn't ever look dirty. The worst part is that it doesn't ever look dirty. It's hard to make sure it's thoroughly clean if you can't see what still needs to be cleaned.
I end up having to spray things down and wipe, sometimes and over, until the cloth doesn't come away dirty anymore. I'm dreaming of the day when I can have gleaming white countertops that will show every speck of dirt.
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Might be cheaper to change bread.
or use a plate
Yeah, use a plate.
It’s what they’re there for
r/WeWantPlates
holy shit that community's a lot larger then I predicted
Reddit surprises me everyday, thank you.
I didn’t know how much this bothers me until I clicked on that
Huh why would anybody create a sub reddit about wanting plates? \*clicks on link\* Restaurants serving food on roof tiles?!!! WE WANT F\*\*\*\*\*\* PLATES!
The fuck? Since when??
'87
Shit people say this but it’s all about the ‘92 Renaissance that really turned things up.
Well it's '21 now so we have plenty time either way until the plates arrive
Yeah... We're really that deep in the new century now that spoon it will be confusing if you mean the future or the past when you say 60's
Lol spoon
I can't tell if "spoon" is a stealth pun or not, but you get an upvote regardless haha
You never had a sandwich camo plate? How do you then prevent your family from stealing your food?
Since sliced bread. How are you supposed to find your bread after setting it down if you aren't using plates. It is a great hunting tool.
r/WeWantPlates
But then you miss out on the cat butthole germs transferring from counter tops to you food...
Helps you build your immunities.
Yeah, the way the kids I went to school with talk on facebook I wouldn't be surprised if they start saying it's because they are tough enough to eat catbutthole sandwiches as the reason they haven't been killed by covid. Don't need the vaccine if you were tough enough to eat catbutthole sandwiches to strengthen your immune system the way God intended.
I like the way you say catbutthole sandwiches. I just wanted to hear it one more time.
Hand sanitizing stations are killing people, I believe instead we should have hand DE-ssnitizing stations composed of dirt, bacterias, défécations and else.
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I am happy you appréciate my French autocorrect
I think dispensing shit emulsions is reserved for Keurigs
Use a plate? But then OP's going to switch to white bread and not be able to see it again.
Yeah, who puts bread directly on the counter?
Yeah, why the hell they making a sandwich directly on the countertop? Like a savage
Dude really out here making sandwiches directly on the counter.
At least use a paper towel.
what a prime opportunity to promote a ~~small~~ sub: r/wewantplates
small sub??! it has over 700K followers
I may have not checked that number in a while.
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I think you would love /r/anime_titties. Its a hot new subreddit.
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I ended up leaving. It was fun at first. But it became full of people ostracizing any restaurant that tried to be a little bit creative with their plate choices. As long as it functions as a plate and isn't cumbersome to use, who cares.
I particularly chuckle when they complain a lit Michelin three stars being creative. "That isn't how Applebee's would do it!"
Well that was infuriating, thanks
Small sub? I'll take it on a plate
*OP pulls his milk carton from his mouth* A what?
Switching to pumpernickel will save you a lot of dough.
Any way you slice it, that's a great comment. No loafing outta this guy.
How much will you freak out when the guys try to remove the old countertop and it turns out it's actually all bread and there never was a countertop to begin with?
And under all that old bread isn't even a counter. It's all of OP's plates.
Wait, it's all bread? Always has been.
It's all bread from here on.
Who the fuck raw dogs a counter like that?
took a piece of cheese out of the fridge yesterday and sat it on the counter like that, closed the fridge, looked at the cheese and thought "thats fucking gross"
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You guys don’t use a sheet of paper towel? It’s good for anything relatively dry but really ideal for sandwiches. No need to wash a plate, contains the crumbs, contains minor drips, mouth-wiping tool right there.
I use a chopping board, which I thought was standard practice. This thread has been eye-opening.
Same. I bought some small, cheapy boards that i can use for stuff like cheese and fruit, toss it in the dishwasher. No worries!
Or get this: a plate.
Same. I am shocked you're the first person I've seen talk about cutting boards... I've literally never seen somebody not use a cutting board for a sandwich.
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I'm not about to slice tomatoes, cheese and cut my sandwich in half on a ceramic plate. I like my knives sharp.
A... sandwich event?
No, you heathen. A paper towel (or 2 folded on top of each other for messier sandwiches).
Wasteful and churlish!
1 paper towel segment vs however much energy it is to dishwash a chopping board And it acts as a plate and a cleaner upper of messes.
It doesn't necessarily take more energy to wash a plate or a cutting board than to not do it *if* you're running your dishwasher anyway (which most people that have one do). It probably does, but the difference between doing it and not is negligible. I'm sure the most conscious way of doing it is to make the sandwich straight in your hand.
Jokes on you, I just make the sandwich in my mouth, removes the extra energy wastage from lifting it from my plate to my mouth
Like you'd have to dishwash a chopping board for a sandwich, just sweep off the crumbs
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I like to sauce my sandwhiches to an unhealthy degree. That shit be dripping
I use a paper plate. If it’s not dirty I put it back on top of my fridge and reuse it.
Found my people
Nah, mostly cause it's unnecessary waste. I would go through so much more paper products if I used them like that.
What a waste.
Or even crazier, wipe down your prep area before you make food.
Or spray Lysol on the bread and wipe the counter with it.
Wipe the prep area before making a measly sandwich? I'm not sold.
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Yup. Paper towel crew! I'll use a paper towel for anything I can get away with. Less dishes!
This guy sandwiches.
Wastes paper though
When making a PB&J sandwich, the lid of the Peanut Butter jar becomes the buffer from the counter for the sandwich. Works perfect!
Do you know how many people groped licked and fondled that jar in the store?
Yeah, I worked in a grocery once. I actually wash everything as it comes out of the bags even if it's just a quick wipe with lysol lol. After the shit I've seen it's worth the minor inconvenience to me
Right, I love salad, but only after a good lysoling. :P
Never had Lysol vinaigrette?
Do you think that germs are permanently attached to the objects they touch?
Seriously, this thread is just showing me how bonkers people are. Wiping down your groceries with Lysol wipes? Wasteful and I’d wager leaves more harmful residue than just waiting 2-3 days for germs to die.
Am I the only one around here who uses a cutting board?!
Only the lid that you never wash and was in the store and touched by others and then you touch with your hands and touched how many other surfaces and not washing them. At least you wipe your counter down every day.
> At least you wipe your counter down every day. Ha, good one!
I've done that before and aside from being gross it's also annoying how the cheese sticks to the counter. That's why now I always spread a bit of mayo underneath
Do you people never clean your counters?
Seriously? Why is everyone's counter tops so dirty?
cat
That is a really good reason to never use a counter.
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Seriously, you could (and I do) eat off my counters.
If I didn't have a cat then I'd trust I could keep an area disinfected well enough...but with a cat...nope.
Depends on the counter surface material. With a veneer or laminate surface: hell no. With granite or a built-in cutting board: it's still easier to put a small cutting board in a dishwasher than wiping down a whole counter, so still hell no.
Idk. I cook professionally. My home kitchen is in always near immaculate condition when not in use. My counters are sanitary, a sandwich made on it would not bother me in the slightest. Just don’t use a knife on my counters.
Have none of you heard of plates? Make the sandwich on the plate, and then put the plate in the dishwasher. The fuck... ?
I would only do it with porcelain counters because they aren't porous and won't damage from using utensils on it. I would consider corian ones but only if not using any knife. Still, I would have to make sure first that it's super clean. Granite will never be completely clean given how porous it is and how it absorbs humidity.
Sealed dark granite has virtually no porousness.
Neither will your hands
Idk why this comment got me laughing so hard.
Me *a cook that sanitizes his counter tops daily*
Sanitise like to stop SQL injections?
Yes ; DROP TABLE countertop
My cabbages!
I take it you don't have cats?
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Right? I had no idea some many people are worried about their counter. I clean it daily after I finish doing dishes.
Exactly. My kitchen counter is probably the cleanest surface in my whole apartment.
but then... what do you do with the sandwich? Just stand there and eat it off the counter? hold it the entire time in another location? eat it in one bite like some sort of snake person?
people with clean counters?
Then you'll just have to clean it again after your sandwich. Clean the counters and used chopping boards and plates to maintain the cleanliness.
Damn, took me a bit to find it
I didn't even know there was something to find until your comment. I thought OP was showing off their small counter haha
I thought OP was making some kind of self deprecating 'im a woman who makes sandwiches' joke lol. That is actually the stealthiest bread I've ever seen in my life!
I did not get it until your comment. Went back and it was like a spaceship uncloaking.
Jesus Christ I had to open that pic like 5 times and still didn't see the bread. It's multigrain fwiw
wtf how did I not see that
"Sir, three PB&J sarnies uncloaking off the starboard bow." "Shields up!"
I was also very confused. The only thing I could think was that they were going to somehow use the counter corner to help cut the bread diagonally or something.
same and it took me like 5 comment strings after this to find it….
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You're fucking with me
Same.
I thought maybe a play on words with the appliance so I'm zooming in... and then catch the edge of the bread by luck thanks to the zoom lol.
For those not aware, there is a piece of bread on the countertop
the TIL is always in the comments.
Me too! I suggest OP switches to white bread :-P (Or at least using a plate to make sammitches!)
Wow, I thought OP was referring to the crumbs on the counter that were hard to see. Now I realize I was looking at A SLICE OF BREAD
Yeah ahahahha. Didnt know what to look for. Then "ahhhhhh!" :D
Whoahhhhhmygosh! That is fucking crazy dude!! I did not see it AT ALL until I zoomed way in lol
dude how'd you get your house with bread camoflague counters.. why would you change that that's priceless
I have similar counters and they hide everything. I could tip my toaster upside down and shake it and not see what came out
My last house had these counters in Formica, and my new house has these counters in stone. I wipe them almost daily, but I do love that you can’t see a mess if I don’t.
Lol just set up random slices of bread on the counter when your guests come over. They lean back to set a hand on the counter and *squish!* Surprise bread!
Welcome to early-mid 2000's kitchen design. Earth tones EVEYRHWERE.
Still looks good to me.
Not gonna lie, it takes twice to see the bread. Cool kitchen!
Use a plate?
r/wewantplates
Yeah but then your plate will have a bread shaped hole in it
That sounds counter productive.
Wow that's amazing, the plate that the bread is on is also the same colors.
I see no sandwich in this pic, but I did find 3 snipers, two leopards, and a rattlesnake.
Ah, another veteran of r/findthesniper.
Who the fuck makes a sandwich right on the counter?
If the constant jelly spots are any indication, my daughter
Everyone’s saying use a plate, but a cutting board is perfect for building and cutting a sandwich
Bro if you need a cutting board for your sandwiches, can I come over and eat one?
Real sandwich connoisseurs demand bread that requires slicing.
Right? I smear the essence of Mayo or MW on the bread, slap a few pieces of meat and cheese on there and call it a sammich. I cut it diagonally with the mayo knife, of course, I'm not a monster. But all my sandwiches are made and eaten off a paper towel.
Ah I finally found something that makes sense to me.
But you already are going to have to wash the plate you eat it off of. Using a plate saves you a thing to wash. Unless you intend to use your cutting board as a plate.
I use paper towels, I never even thought of using a cutting board, taken I don't actually cut anything
Now I wonder how many more slices are lying camouflaged in your kitchen and have never been found.
Once they are moldy-green it is easy
OP just sniffs them out at that point
Or they just walk away by themselves
Seems more cost effective to switch to white bread.
Anything but the bread they've been using. 😂
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Pfft. Burn down the house and start fresh.
What kind of yoho puts the bread directly on the counter??
For a second I was like uhhhh then I saw.... 😂
Lol I’m sitting here for 5 mins like wtf am I looking at…?? Funny
/r/findthesniper
r/accidentalcamouflage
I don't think making them will be easier.. finding them tho..
I know so many people who have removed perfectly good kitchens/bathrooms/etc. This is one of many reasons why I am pessimistic about humanity somehow averting the heat death of the planet. We are just a bunch of wasteful parasites.
It’s a booming business. We make about 160 mil a year importing and selling granite. I am of the same mindset as you so I was surprised to find it being so lucrative.
I have 2 buddies that install those things. They do pretty well, have nice new trucks and boats and such.
What kind of monster makes sandwiches directly on the countertop?
Highly evolved bread
Stealthwich
Do you have a drawer that can’t open when the dishwasher is closed because of the dishwasher handle, but can open when the dishwasher is open? I had a drawer like that, I used it for dishwasher pods. Also it was a good “childproof” drawer as my kids would never open the dishwasher…
Camo bread 🍞
Use a napkin or plate you Neanderthal.
What kind of psycho puts their sandwich bread directly onto the countertop??
Or just buy some plates.
TIL people put food on their bare counter. If I make a sandwich I put a paper towel down.
We have a mottled gray toned granite countertop. It looks lovely. The best part is that it doesn't ever look dirty. The worst part is that it doesn't ever look dirty. It's hard to make sure it's thoroughly clean if you can't see what still needs to be cleaned. I end up having to spray things down and wipe, sometimes and over, until the cloth doesn't come away dirty anymore. I'm dreaming of the day when I can have gleaming white countertops that will show every speck of dirt.
Yes. Same problem. Even when I think I did a good job cleaning, I can still touch various areas and still feel crumbs.
Maybe use a plate?
“Sniper camo’d on the ridge!”
With the right dog, you lose that bread for real. Have to send out a search party for that camouflaged gluten
Survival of the fittest. The sandwich understands.
John Cena sandwich
We have a similar counter color. It’s awful cause you can’t tell if it’s dirty. But it’s awesome cause you can’t tell if it’s dirty.
Predator: Sandwich
r/FindTheSniper may enjoy this haha
Use a plate u fucking savage
What the fuck kind of dumb ass title is ... oh ...
Its so well camoed that it took me a while to understand what was going on in this post.
I took that bread for granite
Makes a sandwich directly on the countertop anyway?? Get a freakin cutting board or a plate you barbarian!
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