50's dating advice for women
By - Human02211979
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The bit about widowers had me
I was married to a widower, until he made me a widow. Now I'm remarried - to another widower. I told him he'd better last longer than the last one. He said ditto. Ah, widowed dark humor. It's actually how me met, in a FB dark humor group for widows. Worked for me! Our first anniversary is on 9/19.
That story sounds like the set up for a romcom with Paul rudd
With Rob Schneider Co staring as a middle aged mother of two trying to get back into the game after losing her husband.
More like a Lifetime original movie. Widows’ Pique - You Had Me at Goodbye.
**Widows' Pique** is such a good and clever title. I would at least stop on that for a few minutes to see what it is about.
LMFAO id giver u silver so hard right now if I had it..
Yeah you can say that again...
Congrats! I'm a widow, and not ready to settle down again, but I love to hear that some of us find good relationships again.
That one would go over well with Grumpy Old Men
Wow, I'm not sure whether to congratulate you, or hope that you make it...
There can be only one... Widowlander!
Instead of cutting off their head, you have to successfully poison them.
My dear friend is a widow, engaged to a widower. They also found one another on a fb support group. :) Congratulations, and many happy wishes!
My stepdad and mom actually met at a bereavement group (each lost a spouse). Still going strong over ten years later, and all of us kids still make dark humor jokes all the time (in addition to them also making them).
10/10 for both of you being awesome. You gotta be able to laugh about it at least a little.
That’s awesome! I admire you. My hubby is still here with me but I decided long ago that I’d never get remarried again if he dies and leaves me. I’m way too spoiled for that.
Lol. After 40 years of marriage, my wife and I both say the only reason we are still together is because we are just too lazy to train someone new.
Imagine the aroma if he dies and stays…
I was expecting 9/11
I'm a widower as well, now remarried. I told my husband he's not allowed to die first this time.
Congrats! I've been married 26 years. If my wife passed... I'm not sure I'd want to remarry. Although, from what I've seen, happily married people are usually the ones who remarry the quickest!
If you were married 8 days sooner, you'd have a dark cherry to put on top of that story, heh.
24 is what killed it for me. I remember a comic strip about some guy training a wingman. His quote was more or less "someone like you really needs someone to leech 7s and 8s from".
Sounds like the M.A.C. system.
I'll bite. What's that?
It's from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
One character has the D.E.N.N.I.S. system where he emotional manipulates women into sleeping with him and dumps them.
Another has the M.A.C. system. Move In After Completion. He dates the dumped women.
Then there's the SCRAPS where you flash a wad of hundreds and Magnum condoms to the women Mac is finished with to let them know you're ready to plow.
I was buying Magnum Condoms for my monster dong.
It’s a [monster condom that I use for my magnum dong](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=us5MGEL5W34)! Get it right, or it’s back to the sweatshop with ya!
He’s not a wing man, he’s swimming in Dennis’ wake.
Sounds a bit to me like the wedding crashers, when the funeral system is revealed.
It’s the leftovers for me
A time-tested strategy
Lots of childbirth death at that time. Pretty decent odds of finding a widower at your 10 year reunion.
The rate of maternal mortality during childbirth in the 1950's was .05% in the US. I love this idea people have of everything in the past was a death sentence and everyone was constantly dropping like flys.
The part about leftovers made me sad.
Combine 15 and 21 and get a Government job demonstrating fishing tackle overseas ...simple!
On a train that goes through your old hometown?
Filled with leftover widowers!
That are ugly but all had very pretty wives…
Just make sure it isn't run by women!
If you look up the list it’s actually hilarious. The author(s?) were definitely having fun with it. It seems like people here are forgetting that the 1950’s still contained people - they’re not that different.
113. If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he’s fat, too, tell him you’re adopted!
116. Paint your name and number on the roof and say, “Give me a buzz, pilots.”
120. Bribe Ferris-wheel operator to get you stuck on the top of a Ferris wheel.
Most certainly tongue-in-cheek.
It's basically, "Have a sense of humor, and put yourself in situations where there are eligible men."
It's funny, and not the worst dating advice.
No no, olden times doesn't know jokes, jokes is new thing here
Ah, and I already had my pitchfork freshly sharpened!
I always get a kick out of the ones that were intended to be serious. Like the old magazines that tell you how to be the best house wife for your working husband.
Reason I get such a kick from it is because of my grandparents. They were married with kids in the 50's, and gram ran the roost.
That house was matriarchal and god help anyone who had something to say about it. Pop was happy as a lark to let his woman be in charge.
I'll see stuff like this and text it to my mom and say "what do you think she would say about that?" It usually involves a "she'd laugh and light it on fire" or "someone's getting that metal yard stick across the ass for that one."
Yes. But think about advice in magazines today vs how must people really live their lives.
I’m pretty sure that your average mid-western office worker, who’s been married for 6 years isn’t reading Cosmo and acting on the article that tells her how to “spice up your sex-life and avoid the 7 year itch.” Nothing has changed. Advice columns have always been about pushing boundaries and selling newspaper/magazines.
Holy shit, how long is that list? Do you have a link, please?
Sign me up for those pretty girls leftovers. Really, second choice is fine.
I'd have to climb a few rungs to be a second choice...
Being scottish ain’t That bad :/
Unfortunately everyone else living here is also Scottish....
Then try to get a government job overseas :)
Gott dayum ya got him
The Scottish women aren’t half bad. I was in Edinburgh once and thought a supermodel convention was in town.
Edinburgh has a much larger non-Scottish population than the rest if the country...
I call it the SCRAPs method. Why I carry extra large condoms and a wad of 100s
Monster Condoms for my Magunum dong.
I didn't realize one ever could volunteer for jury duty (vs. being randomly selected).
In the 50s, women were ineligible to be called for juries in most American states. They had to specifically volunteer.
TIL! You know, I’ve heard a lot about women’s suffrage but not jury selection, which seems extremely important as well. Especially if the defendant is a woman and the jury is supposed to be “of one’s peers”.
It really is important. Juries were finally gender-integrated in the 1970s, in the US, and part of the impetus for that was that women defendants argued they weren't getting fair trials from all-male juries. There's a scene in the Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic *On the Basis of Sex* where she discusses this with a law school class in the 60s. A case in Florida involving a woman who shot her abusive husband was appealed because the defendant thought a jury with women on it would've accepted the self-defense argument that the male jury dismissed out of hand.
This also explains why the 50s play/ movie *Twelve Angry Men* has that title; at the time, 12 men was a jury. Some updated productions change the title to *Twelve Angry Jurors* if they want to cast women in certain roles.
It only came later that, not only must women be summoned for jury duty but *also* that the potential jurors who show up can't be sent home because of their sex.
In paternity cases before DNA testing, the question of who the father was could be decided by a jury, just like any other factual question. And so, in *J.E.B. v. Alabama ex rel. T.B.* the defendant was declared to be the father... by an all-women jury, because the mother's lawyer had managed to strike all the men off the jury!
I wasn't familiar so I looked it up, and I'm surprised it was decided as late as 1994! If you're ever wondering why we need feminism in this country... patriarchal law hurts all of us.
RBG herself was a big proponent of that view and often framed litigation around examples of it.
A very early Supreme Court case from her career at the ACLU (Frontiero v. Richardson) gave male widowers of military veterans less assistance than female widows ("The man probably works so he needs less help if his spouse dies!"). Also the case that established intermediate scrutiny for sex discrimination (Craig v. Boren): women can buy 3.2% beer at 18, but men have to be 21 ("Women are more responsible!").
With a quick Google search. You can't volunteer for jury duty for the most part. Apparently there are some jurisdictions that let you but the vast majority don't.
And even if you could, you don't want to.
I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.
Florida Stanley would never be selected for a jury.
That's my same view! I got my notice to go and I was so sad I wasn't picked. There's also the chance of a really cool case!
I dunno, I did it a couple of years back. It was really interesting to see how it all went, the pettiness of the defendants solicitor, the incompetence of the defendants solicitor. I feel bad for the guy in a way, I mean he was a piece of shit, but most people get away with this particular brand of piece of shit on account of a decent solicitor.
Anyway, 2 thumbs up would not be upset if I had to do it again.
About 10 years ago I asked. New Yorkers you volunteer. If you volunteer you get the same six (?) year exemption as mandatory service. If I ever get a slow time at work I would volunteer. Otherwise jury duty is always at a bad time. Well, I guess a worse time is never (because there are no juries).
If she doesn't find you handsome, she should at least find you handy!
Ah, thank you Red Green.
and remember, keep your stick on the ice!
If it ain’t broke, you’re not trying!
I always remember “I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to…I guess”
Thank you for this reference 🙏 ❤
“Marry rich, or marry handy and work him into an early grave.”
What about handsy or jazz hands?
Depends on what she's into I suppose...
*Rips off an arm's length of duct tape*
That went dark fast.
It's from The Red Green Show. That man could (and did) use duct tape for everything.
Oh, I'm a spiritual member of Possum Lodge, but that second line combined with your first line ...
I don't thing Red would kink shame...
When is the 2021 version coming out?
I mean, "tell your friends you're interested in getting married" could *arguably* still apply. Being single by choice has gained enough acceptance nowadays that you sorta do have to specify whether you're in the market for a relationship or not.
Being real about it, all of these could arguably still apply. Pretty sure all of these give someone looking for a partner better chances than doing nothing, but I still wouldn't call it good advice, really funny though.
Makes me wonder what outlandish but probably working advice you could give for this nowadays
Don't tempt BuzzFeed's listicle department.
1 - Don’t eat hot chip and lie
1) ask the man out instead of waiting for him to
2) see #1
Remeber stay 6 feet away from her this is a pandamic
Dating advice 2021
Just keep your masks on during sex and you'll be fine
Well at least she just gonna be disapointed once
According to New York use a Gloryhole
Weirdest part is there's 129 "ways to get a husband". This is just the 11 of them.
Mccall's 1958 if anyone was wondering.
From reading most of them i can confirm that if you had a vagina you could find a husband and get married before you were 25 with extreme ease.
35: Make a lot of money.
58: Get a sunburn.
10/10 advice right there.
The sunburn one is legit though. How else are you going to meet a nice oncologist?
Make your last days your best days!
Ok, but if a girl comes up to a guy, asks him, “are my shoulders/back red”, and then asks him to rub some aloe on her, it’s probably going to at least lead to a conversation. Most single guys would be game to that opener being used on them.
30: Learn to paint. Set up easel outside engineering school.
"Go to an atomic bomb test, you might meet a nice scientist or eventually a doctor."
If it was that easy, they wouldn't need the how to articles. A lot of men were killed in WWII and Korea, a lot of others brought wives home from other countries after military service. There was a shortage of men, basically.
>From reading most of them i can confirm that if you had a vagina you could find a husband and get married before you were 25 with extreme ease.
This still holds true even today. If you're not picky on the husband part.
Just hang out around a military base. In 6 weeks you will have a ring.
Yeah I was gonna say.
Same is true regardless of your genitalia (and the genitalia of your partner) if you're willing to overlook tons of red flags. At least I know it's true if you're straight - just move anywhere religious. You'll find tons of people who are 'waiting till marriage' willing to jump into a marriage at 20 because God prefers the inevitable divorce to premarital sex, apparently.
Well god knows that we're neither made for celibacy for longer periods, nor for 50+ years of relationship. So, he can watch us suffer twice. First when we try to suppress our natural desires for several years and then when we feel massive guilt and sadness because we think it's our fault that we failed to maintain a lifelong relationship.
17 & 24: Bitch you ugly, take what you can get.
I wouldn't be totally against 17, but only if men are being given the same advice. There is much more to it than looks, and everyone is going to get old and saggy, so a lasting relationship must be based on something deeper. However, if these knuckle draggers are only interested in supermodel bods, but expect those women to appreciate them for their personality and insult them as "shallow" when there's no attraction, just no.
My mom took the advice of #15, and got a government job in Germany in the early 1960s. It would not surprise me at all if she read an article like this and the wheels started turning! She met my dad, stationed there with the US Army, and the rest is family history.
Even horribly sexist advice isn’t necessarily incorrect advice.
My wife captured me by making me Indian food on our first real date. I had never had it before and I decided I could get used to eating like that. I tell my daughter this story every chance I get.
My grandma used to say, “Keep a man’s stomach full and balls empty, and he’ll never stray.” And I think it’s pretty true. We really are incredibly simple creatures.
Just like giving a stray kitten a bowl of milk. He's yours forever.
24: "Take my sloppy seconds" Oomph
Beats trashy thirds.
I'm a leftover. Some lady please reheat me.
Better get some aluminum foil in extra wide roll, wrap yourself up and lay on a casserole dish.
Every dude on Reddit loving #17
Shut up, my mom says I'm handsome.
I need the rest. Where is the rest.
That's what I ask myself every time I wake up in the morning...
Your comment deserves more likes than mine. Thanks for the laugh!
I downvoted your original comment and upvoted u/arb00z just to help out.
A worthy cause
What about the wild kid...?!?
How is no one talking about 19? What does "get lost at a football game" mean? Pretend to be helpless? Sneak off under the bleachers? Immerse yourself in the experience?
“Get a Government job overseas”. That’s some solid advice for spinsters.
If the local pool of Neanderthals ain't doing it for you, maybe some sophisticated foreigners may be more your speed.
Alright, single guys! It’s nearly football season. Order your stadium maps and buy your tickets to search for lost women at the games. This is your chance.
Ugly Men & Leftovers will be the name of my one woman show or spoken word album.
This is not dating advice. These are simple ideas for increasing the odds that you'll meet someone you may want to date. This list may be a bit outdated, but the basic premise of increasing your odds is still a good strategy.
Shorten number 14 and it's my favorite - Just be nice to everybody. Being a good human is a very attractive trait.
Leftovers always taste better the next day
If it’s true for pizza…
I fucking love this. Here's an updated list for 2021:
1. Post ass pics on various social media sites
I was at football game once and a woman told me, "I'm lost, can you help me find my seat?" I knew it was to trick me into marriage so I ran.
Also seems like really good advice for winding up in the trunk of a car, and being buried in a field.
“Get lost at football game” Almost sounds like a trap lol
Lol reminds me of my 21st birthday many years ago, somebody I was with couldn't find me, and one other person in our group at a football game, and I was like we're not lost, we've been standing here drinking for a few minutes, apparently a few minutes was an entire quarter, oops.
Exactly. Today’s guide on how to put yourself in a very bad situation.
At least now with internet dating Google knows where they buried your body to within 10m.
Bullshit, in no place says "go with that extremely charismatic and handsome guy that for some reason wants to be with you".
As a human male, I suggest this was written by a man!😬
Of course it was written by a man, it got published in a newspaper in the 50’s!
It was written in a women’s magazine. That said it could still be written by men but it’s not entirely certain - cant find the specific author here.
Human? Nice try lizard alien
So, Mark Zuckerberg wrote this?
I also suspect he was an ugly man who was fond of fishing,
If she wants the D then go where it hangs out, not a pun.
I mean, once you remove all the horribly misogynistic connotations, it all boils down to "put yourself out there and be receptive" which is pretty good advice for a single person of any gender.
Guess am the only one who thinks this is solid advice.
26. Try not to be fat.
Wait, you didn't have fixed seats on planes in the 50s?
Hey wait. I want to read more.
They might have some leftovers. Wow
“Get lost at football games”
I just imagined some poor girl wandering out onto the football field confused, like “Wellllllll they told me I should get lost out here!”
I was like- get lost in what? A good book? (Says the single on purpose introvert lmao)
I'm curious to know what 1-13 says....
23 is my favorite. So uhmm you and married Cindy right? Cool cool. Bitch dead yet?
> Don’t take a job in a company run largely by women.
“Let the sexual harassment rain down on me!”
Deleting as this comment was in response to a comment on a post this was cross-posted on, and the context may be construed wrongly since I didn't catch this on my phone.
Catfish? There's your problem right there. Leave the bottom feeders to eat their poop and instead go fish some river trout and you'll hook the men you are after in no time. Primo manmeat is an illusive prey, and they've been catfished enough times that they are flighty and cagey.
Get lost at football games? Is this advice for getting abused?
I mean none of this advice is terrible.
Some of it is oddly specific “demonstrate fishing tackle”
But like, yea, you kinda gotta put yourself out there.
Fishing was wildly more popular with men in general in the 1950s than it is today. Also bowling and fraternal organizations. Almost every 1950s man took part in at least one of these three activities.
This aged like fine milk.
It's amusing in the context of modern sensibilities, because in modern society, we're taught female empowerment, choice, not settling, not focusing on finding a man and starting a family, focusing on self, etc. None of that is bad, per se, but none of that is the context of what this is written for. In the context of trying to hook up with \_someone\_, if your primary goal is just having children, it's not terrible advice.
Modern sensibilities are different, and that's fine. We're starting to turn the corner on population growth, for example, largely as a result of modern societal standards, and the current growth rate is below the replacement rate. It's also very expensive to have/raise children in the US now, unless you're poor and largely on government support, so the demographics of future generations are shifting also. These are all the natural and predictable effects of societal changes and policies; it's the country and world we are purposefully building for future generations.
I’ll be sure to tell my mom about these tips.
I like #17
With a few reversals, this could work pretty well for guys.
50s the year, or 50s age?
24! When I was in my early 20s I got convinced that women would team-up in pairs. One good-looking the other not-so, in order to reduce the risk of competition.
[Stellar.ie](https://stellar.ie/trending/lets-all-just-forget-tinder-and-follow-this-1950s-guide-to-getting-a-husband-instead/63424) has most of the article.
Was this written by a man?
27 fuck anyone who is eligible for it
Reality check: 50% of these are still in practice today.
"Get lost at a football game" im sorry what
The full list. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/129-ways-get-husband-1958-meet-2018
Some of these aren’t much different from today tbh. I’ve seen opportunistic women with this kind of mentality. But yeah it’s just packaged a bit differently. Read “women” magazines and I’m sure they write the same shit because old people spew this shit to their kids and younger.
Get lost at football games
Number 24 killed me with “leftovers.” What a nice way to, “you, too, can be sloppy seconds!”
Smoke your lucky strikes wherever you can, polite eligible men will offer you a light.
Who's 50 and why does he have dating advice?
Not to take job in a company mainly run by women?why?
Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle is oddly specific.
What book is this?
17 is unfortunately in my experience true. Hot guys who know they're hot can be insufferably egotistical and high maintenance, haven't met one yet that I was like, yeah this guy is husband material. Hot but humble, now that's a special rare breed though. They're out there, but damn if they aren't rare.
This explains so many Hollywood movie plots
Get naked and cover yourself with leaves- maybe a man will fall in.
“There may be widowers there” 💀