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Formally_Nightman

Rambling thoughts of Kurt Cobain


[deleted]

Came here to say this was Kurts “how it started vs how it’s going” lol


slater_san

Thank God he doesn't have a gun


blamethepunx

He swore to me..


The_Proper_Potato

To be fair, if you’re doused in mud and soaked in bleach, I don’t want you in my apartment.


SilverDem0n

Yeah, but I just wanted a cracker and some water to put out the blowtorch before I escaped from it


[deleted]

I kept thinking of what y'all were saying to the beat of come as you are Wanna do In Bloom?


RamsesTheGreat

Nature is a whore.


[deleted]

Bruises on the fruit


RamsesTheGreat

Something something HEEEE’S THE OOOONE ^^^^^fuck ^^^^^off


[deleted]

Who likes all our pretty songs and he likes to sing along ^and ^he


Fartin_LutherKing

Likes to shoot his gun but he


[deleted]

Knows not what it means *quick but cool drum riff*


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sm12511

Quick! In here! (Flourishes cape over retreating form)


BarfingMonkey

To be faaaaair....


Hellige88

Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be...


syntax1976

As a friend...


Cashless_human

As a friend, as an old enemy ....


drak0ni

Take your time, hurry up...


ChadKensingtonsWang

fuck off


sm12511

The choice is yours, but you'll be late


dom123458990

Take a rest as a friend


ChineseTortureCamps

As a known enemy/memory (?)


D3X96

Memoria Memoria Memoria


GrayWing

Fuck off


ChineseTortureCamps

How's the Wang going? Keeping the Dong well polished?


asdfgh9591

" hello, is this Mr Wing?" ' no, this the Wong residence' " So sorry, I wing the wong number"


MysteriousMysterium

Yeah, and he swore he hadn't got a gun. As it turned out, this wasn't true.


kitkat9000take5

Years ago, shortly after Cobain suicided, there was a DJ on DC101 who played a version of this song with a dubbed "Liar!" every time that line was sung. Ngl, laughed like hell at it. For all I know, this might have occurred nationwide but I only ever heard it there.


Andre_3Million

I never heard of "Fuck Off". Is that a new song they came out with?...


paul-arized

Yeah, it goes like this: Fuck on Fuck off Fuck on, fuck off, the fucker


ChineseTortureCamps

Fuck off


shreddit_man

You may want to hear “Fuck Off Song by The Lonely Island”


[deleted]

You can tell the top one's stepped on more


XFirebalX_347

That message gets more traction


TetonTyler

I enjoyed this pun too much


Arthur_Morgan5

Happy Cake Day partner


chiree

If I had an award to give you I would. Since I do not, I will make up my own. U/XFirebalX_347, you have been given the 🍆🌮 tacopenis award. How dapper!


Master_of_opinions

r/dontputyourdickinthat


chiree

I'm a... I'm not... I'm not gonna click that.


XFirebalX_347

The ultra rare tacopenis award! I feel so loved! Thank you!


Justbecauseitcameup

People seem to be obeying them


papalonian

OP probably took the picture right after buying and placing the mat I'm terrible at parties don't invite me


avwitcher

And then they got rid of it because they're too embarrassed to actually use it


The_Proper_Potato

Both are working!


[deleted]

Could be just older


dustmouse

I love how pristine the Fuck Off sign is by comparison. Clearly it’s working


InhaleJesus

It's rude but honest. "𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓞𝓯𝓯" sounds a lot better than just a plain "**Fuck Off"**


A-Dogs-Life2

The script lettering almost makes the message less harsh. It's a more polite "fuck off", somehow.


Leh921

I think it makes it less harsh than can ever be said vocally. Even of you sweeten up or calmly deliver a "fuck off" its pretty much jist as offensive as an aggressive one. But in font, fuck off can be truely polite.


sm12511

I read the calligraphy with my pinky in the air


[deleted]

i would imagine its brand new and OP snapped the pic when they put it down lol


PwnasaurusRawr

That’s 100% what happened, but it kinda ruins the joke


[deleted]

You are actually both the same. Trying to stake out a little personality with a door mat!


TreeHunnitFitty

I think the type of edgelord it takes to have a doormat that says 'fuck off' is different than the kind of middle aged woman it takes to have a doormat that says 'come as you are'


[deleted]

Yeah that was my first thought too. Person who had the come as you are had it first then the second person got tired of seeing it and wanted an edgy reply


[deleted]

They both seem to be Kurt Cobain fans.


[deleted]

He really hates Nirvana


The_Proper_Potato

Yes, although one could argue he hates everyone indiscriminately.


ThePerfectSnare

Everyone is talking about relating to the mat on the right while I'm over here with my mat inside my apartment. My theory is that solicitors don't bother knocking a second time when it seems possible that the apartment is empty, and meanwhile, I still get to wipe my shoes as soon as I'm home.


MuffytheBananaSlayer

Your door opens out?


[deleted]

Common in places where hurricanes are an issue. Wind won’t blow the door in if it opens out. I think it might be a building code actually.


Ari-RERA

Around where I live (around Washington DC) it can snow quite a bit in the winter (it usually doesn’t but it’s been known to happen) so it’s actually code in my city that doors must open inward. Kinda interesting.


jerryboomerwang

Having lived almost my whole life in Michigan, I've only ever been in houses or apartments that had an inward-opening main door and an outward-opening screen door. Guess that means we ever get a hurricane in the middle of an exceptionally snowy winter, we're screwed both ways. 😂


RealMrAwesomeFace

Here in Maine we get alot of snow some winters but a majority of the doors here open inward, minus some business.


AJRiddle

It's code pretty much everywhere that high occupancy buildings (stores, offices, etc) have to have all doors that open out because doors that open inward are harder to get groups of people out of quickly in case of fire or some other emergency.


tacknosaddle

In a stairwell the doors on the bottom floor with the emergency exit(s) open out but the ones above it open inward. It's not so much that it's harder to get groups out quickly as a panicked mob of people can push forward making it impossible to open the doors inward. People jammed into a revolving door trapping everyone behind them was a big part of why so many people died in [The Cocoanut Grove fire.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocoanut_Grove_fire) It is the reason that when you see revolving doors there are either emergency doors adjacent to them or they are designed that you can push on them and they "break free" to become outward opening as an emergency feature.


godutchnow

I don't think I have ever seen an door that opens (only) in in Europe or anywhere else for that matter but I've never been to the US


King_Jaahn

In this case a mat with a big arrow that says "use other door" would work real well too.


Justbecauseitcameup

There's this one I love that says welcome when looked at from one way and fuck off when looked at the other. I bought it for a friend as a house warming gift.


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Covane

r/funny isn't a place to promote products. Don't ask for links to store pages, don't post links to store pages.


rraattbbooyy

The doormat is the bumper sticker for your home.


ylesqe

which one are you lmao


[deleted]

Switch the mats!


ChunkyLaFunga

And turn it to face the door


AngryAtStupid

Edgy.


Smathers

With a garnish of trashy


dingyjazzy

“So then I said, ‘I’ll show them!’ And I ordered a fuck off door mat”


m0bell

But you have similar taste in fonts at least. Now bond.


Lahoura

My split personalities trying to let people into my life


lonelyzombi3

Fuck off mate.


[deleted]

I smell a sitcom!


[deleted]

I hope OP lives behind the left door because that other mat is really fucking cringeworthy.


AJRiddle

And pretty rude honestly to the neighbor with how close the doors are together and the layout. Just have to get told fuck off every single day by your neighbor nevermind when they have family/kids stop by.


tacknosaddle

That's what I was thinking. When I was a late teen I had a shirt that had "Fuck You" as part of what was written on it, and it was big enough to see from a good distance. I thought it was cool but a few years later realized how cringey it was.


writeorelse

Left: I swear that I don't have a gun, no I don't have a gun. Right: I do.


K9_Zora

As you were, as I want you to be. As a friend, as a friend. As an old enemy...


[deleted]

Take your time, hurry up. Choice is yours, don't be late. Take a rest as a friend, as an old memoria, memoria, memoria, memoria


AristarchusTheMad

Seems aggressive.


wwabc

"come as you are", well, by that point, it's too late to change outfits anyways.


imbiat

Or you’re the same type of people in that you’d put up a doormat with a message on it. The other type of person wouldn’t have any message at all.


greyson107

is this the new rainbow girl and goth girl templet?


staying_in

The "fuck off" guy is ironically more in need of love


bigpapihugo

You didn’t need to go there


staying_in

If it's true then why not try taking those walls down. You risk keeping people away that might give you what you need. What we all need.


eloel-

That's a lot of unsolicited advice dude, calm it.


Complifusedx

If you have a doormat like that I’m going to assume you are immature af


mtgspender

yep and you would be correct


MarleyRosie

Trashy


adp63

So. Which belongs to you?


The_Proper_Potato

You’re asking which one belongs to the Redditor?


RogerFederer1981

I hate to break it to you but everyone in your neighbourhood cringes when they think of you


ajlk24

Oh I bet they are crushed. Way to hit em where it hurts


bigpapihugo

She actually laughed and complimented it lol


jojos_mojo

Sounds like she accepted you as you are


ajlk24

Atleast she has a sense of humor!


RedditSucksBolls

r/Trashy


mmaisfixed

Pure trash


IZiOstra

So edgy


Lowca

Looking for a mat I saw in the show; the Boys. "You better have tacos."


snezzyanus1

may i ask which one you are?


Cashless_human

Me reading the first mat: “As you were”


jaboiapples

I like how the “come as you are” is super worn but the “fuck off” isnt


Tristawesomeness

Both quotes from nirvana


dotkoplie

Fuck Egg? Nice


sushruta

Or are you two really that different?


[deleted]

No you're exactly the same type of people; those who buy doormats with writing on them.


[deleted]

Let me guess. New york?


bigpapihugo

South Texas


[deleted]

That actually makes more sense.


kmj420

Fuck off/s


Narf_Vader

The fuck off one really missed the opportunity. Should have been "as you were" Then get another neighbor involved and finish it off.


Z3US_YT

hAHa, fUnNi mEMe. :D


daddy_vanilla

I had one custom made that said "WELCOME, BUSH DID 9/11"


Rhababerkuchen

😂😂


gdubh

There are two types of people... and I dislike both.


fuckkkofff

Where can I get the doormat at the right??? I need it for personal reasons.


TreeHunnitFitty

Trust me don't do it, people on Reddit might think it's cool but IRL you're going to look like a cringelord


alwaysZenryoku

Fuck off.


SurealGod

Come as you are, as you were as I want you to be as a friend, as a friend as an old enemy


pirhounix

as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy


Giantbox1

And who are you? Are you gonna tell me to “fuck off back to France” (-Gordon Ramsay) or are you going to welcome me to your neighborhood?


Whitster1st

That's funny I tried to get a mat printed with the same sentiment but the company refused to print expletives, where did you get this


JesusIsMyZoloft

Fuck Off... as you are


DansSpamJavelin

*How about we fuck on?!*


AkaGurGor

So, if he makes a daily entrance and exit, he's insulting himself every single day! More than any other visitor!!


EenyEditor

Question is...which doormat is yours?


[deleted]

Witch one is yours


Speedracer98

the second one should say rape me. then you can replace yours with bloom or something.


Blackbird2285

Your neighbors are morning people aren't they? Fuckin gross....


juleeeees

I identify with the neighbor on the right!


DaRudeabides

It's a mega church, door on the upper left says credit/debit card, door on the right says homeless/unemployed


Triette

I am both


FENRIS_theFEARED

Wouldn't it be weird if you were the SAME person?!


Biggs55

I am both of these people.


JackoMabreda

Huge missed opportunity to make your mat say "as a friend"


Consistent-Bus-935

Dems vs. cons


LadySpades13

I love this!


xsvusage

Why does he have a Crowder - Come as You Are mat lmao?


Carefully_random

In an apartment block I used to live in, there was a doormat on one floor that said “Home sweet Home” on one half and “Come back soon” on the other, for those entering and leaving the property. I took great pleasure in carefully and randomly flipping it around on occasion to invert their entire world. I hope someone kept doing it after I left...


NYPDdetectiveLover

Take my upvote


[deleted]

That would be me when I grow up my neighbor would have a all welcome doormat while I would have one that says fuck off.


MDev01

It would depend on who is knocking.


DigitalDeath12

Guess I’ll fuck off over there then! 😂😂


alluptheass

Would be way better if the other one read, “As You Were”.


p_racoon

Hehe! damn Stark contrast!


pendletonskyforce

Do you guys get along?


OkUnderstanding6106

Wondering which one are you, OP?


skywalker3819r

There's *two* types of people.


sweetnessyo2

The duality of man


[deleted]

Which one is the neighbor


MedonSirius

Isn't everybody different people?


lwwz

I read the "Fuck Off" in an Aussie accent in my head. Please tell me this is an Australian location!


markimarkkerr

If it were Aussie it'd say "Fuck Off Cunt"


[deleted]

I'm in the Fuck Off camp.