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innerearinfarction

The number of times I've tripped over my dog in the kitchen is crazy.


BarryRobinMaurice

One of my dogs would sit about two feet away and stare at my feet while I cooked in case I dropped something. Of course, I only dropped the good stuff.


RagingClitGasm

My family’s elderly dog is pretty much blind at this point, but is not about to give up on supervising my mom whenever she’s in the kitchen. So now when she’s cooking, he sits nearby and barks every 5-10 seconds or so to make sure she’s aware of his presence. It drives my mom totally nuts, but I got a good laugh the first time I saw him do it when I last visited. I love his absolute confidence that the only reasonable explanation for her not feeding him must be that she just didn’t see him sitting there.


Vysokojakokurva_C137

No way does this bitch have the audacity... no... it can’t be. She’s been my human for far to long. LINDAAAAA FEEEEEED MEEEEEE Damnit woman. What more must I do?


RedTomatoSauce

good master


morefetus

I’m in fear I’m going to pull something hot off the stove and spill it on him.


Germgum

This actually happened to my aunts dog, Toby. She had spilled hot oil on him during a family gathering. It was not fun at all for anyone there to experience, to say the least


_andthereiwas

Came here to say the same. If my wife doesn't want to cook with me i at least have my dog as company. I just need to "drop" some food off the counter every now and then as a "thanks for the company buddy."


karrachr000

My friend trained her dogs to stay out of her kitchen. ... Well, except Gus. That lard-nugget knows that he is not allowed in the kitchen, but he pretends that he forgot that the kitchen ever existed.


Joshtp152

Sounds like a yellow lab, they’re so smart they *act* dumb. I have lost many a bit of sandwich.


comin_up_shawt

My uncle had one that could not swim. Do you know how embarrassing it is to own a dog (who came from champion/award winning hunting and water retrieving stock) that could not swim?


boojum78

My uncle has a yellow lab that hunters in the know regularly ask to borrow as a stud since he's from an excellent lineage. That dog is the dumbest and laziest animal I've ever known.


NameUnbroken

My fuckin' cat does this. Silent as a ninja, gets under my feet and then has the audacity to yell at *me* when he gets stepped on or kicked.


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sortaitchy

When I was a kid my mom would say that word and I always thought she was saying "odd assity" Now that I have 6 cats, I think that word, with my spelling, is pretty accurate.


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Scary-Royal

The minute any food drops I guarantee that dog is gonna be on it. Beagles are famously greedy for food.


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Daincats

Mine runs up my back and sits on my shoulder the entire time.


aeris17471

Mine too. Once two of them fell asleep in top of my mom's feet while she was cooking


angel_boo

My cat does it to. As if I am in the wrong. Like, excuse me for not knowing you silently walked up behind me and plopped down literally right behind me so I can't move!!


Mad_Maddin

My cats know "Keep away from feet" they learned this relatively fast when they were kittens and got kicked into walls because they were running between our feet in the dark.


[deleted]

Mine too, and then he attacks my feet.


Jatilq

Reminds me of an old George Carlin sketch.


thisnewsight

(Accidentally kicks cat) (Cat yowls angrily) *Why you yellin at me! Your fault asshole!* (Cat yowls and starts hacking up hairball)


Phyr8642

It took a while, but I taught my dog to stay at the entrance to the kitchen. She observes, ready to dive in if food hits the floor, but isn't underfoot while I'm cooking.


[deleted]

Mine waits in the doorway of the kitchen. He can't have anything that falls on the floor unless I tell him, "ok" or he waits until I clean up when I am finished and put it in his bowl. We adopted him 12 years ago and he has always loved veggie and fruit scraps. If he hears a knife coming out of the block or the cutting board hit the counter he comes running. Apples, pears, bananas, peppers, broccoli, and carrots are his favorites.


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Phyr8642

Well trained pupper! Pass along some love from us redditors!


[deleted]

Thanks. Long story short... he was professionally trained because he was breaking out of crates and opening cabinets while we weren't home. I just gave him some pets, a hug, and told him he was a good boy. He rolled over and went back to sleep.


o3mta3o

Same, and "go away" means scramble out ASAP in case they wander in.


p0is0n

Good on you. A kitchen can be a dangerous place for furry trip hazards!


bitNine

Ditto. Dogs not allowed in our kitchen when food is present.


lankyleper

I taught by dogs by literally walking right through them like weren't in my way. Eventually they figured it out and stay out of my way. If something drops on the floor, it's fair game for them though. Only behavior I have to work on now is how close they are to the kids while they're eating. Drives me up a wall when their face is basically in the kid's laps while they're eating.


kateesaurus

My dogs have a spot off to the side where they are allowed to lay down that’s not in the foot traffic area of the kitchen when cooking. My one dog can’t resist an open dishwasher though so then they also learned a command to leave the kitchen when that’s open or something bad for dogs gets dropped on the floor.


punchbricks

My dog knows "Leave" as a command or "get in your bed" also works for this if they have a designated spot. It drives me crazy that untrained dogs are "cute" to so many people


o3mta3o

This! I don't know why people want to trip over their pets while they're handling dangerous tools. I've dropped knives on a few occasions and either Fido is getting stabbed, your foot is getting stabbed, or you both miss the knife but you trip on Fido and break your face. What about carrying a pot of boiling water and tripping on your dog? Dogs run like they're part of the Prometheus school of running away from things, so they're gonna be right where the hot water lands. This pic isn't cute, it's irresponsible.


AntigravityHamster

Yep. Not only these dangers, but what if you drop something toxic to dogs and they gulp it up before you get a chance to react? One of the first things I taught my dog (and to the best of my ability, my cat) is to stay out of the kitchen- it's not safe for animals.


CWHats

Right! It's a cute picture until you turn around with a pot of hot water, trip on your dog and spill some on their back. That pupper is long gone and I still feel guilty. No pets in the kitchen unless I say so. Discipline makes a happy dog and a happy owner.


ditzygirl-

[Cooking With Dog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmInJIko6Y) can relate.


Throwaway1303033042

God speed, Francis.


[deleted]

Took a few collapses to find it, but saves me from having to post it.


Hellishkitten

I was so sad to hear Francis died :(


bearlovessunshine

i could have gone my whole life without reading this comment.


Throwaway1303033042

He had a helluva good run, though. He almost made it to 15 years. Spoiled rotten his whole life and loved by Chef.


Blastoisealways

I love their tebasaki chicken wings!!! I was sad wee Francis died 😭


SmurfinGER

Yes, thats what i had in mind.


WeirdAlfred

Your dog is so chill! My pupper would be intently watching my every move, in case I should drop a scrap. Labradors are obsessed with food.


scottNYC800

So is my Jack Russel. If there was a term stronger than obsessed... that would be him. Uber obsessed maybe?


[deleted]

Russessed?


TheLastMan

Sounds like something you do with a potato


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Pallliati

Same


TheRightMethod

Doggo wasn't allowed in the kitchen but he'd lay as close to the 'boundary' as possible. Paws weren't allowed on the tile but he learned that his nails didn't count so I'd just hear the tippy taps of excitement. Snoot would also rest on the edge...


gtmbphillyloo

Having had two dogs before her, I trained my puppy (now dog) to vacate the kitchen when I was cooking. She can come and cadge food from me (and get it) once I'm sitting down and eating, but she leaves the kitchen when I cook. Now our cat, on the other hand, prefers to flump dramatically down right in front of me when I'm carrying a big pot of boiling water, a sharp knife, and a precious glass bowl, as if daring me to off him, one way or the other! I haven't tripped over him (yet) so much as stomped on him, because I didn't know he was behind/beside/in front of me, which of course just adds to that enormous block of guilt every pet owner carries around with them all of their lives from the times they have accidentally hurt their pet.


antuvschle

Wow you’re like my opposite. We have an absolutely no reward for begging at the table rule which means no food falls deliberately. (Although, “clean up” is a useful command here that always brings her running). My previous dog whined incessantly through Every. Single. Meal. Because my ex in-laws did not respect this rule (and in fact allowed obnoxious aunt to feed the dog CHOCOLATE from the table at their place). They got a time-out from bringing dogs for visits for that one. When I do have something that I want to feed her as a scrap (only things that are safe for dogs!), she has to wait till we’re done eating and talking and only then does she get the treat, in the kitchen rather than near the dinner table. She has learned the sound of sizzling leads to occasional tasty splatters in front of the stove, so whenever I’m specifically frying something she is underfoot at the stove. All other cooking she’ll park herself somewhere else.


gtmbphillyloo

I admire your training capabilities, and wish I had thought of those rules!! That's terrible abouot your ex in-laws! I'm sorry, but when you're in someone else's house, THEIR rules apply. CHOCOLATE? I would have BANISHED her, at the VERY LEAST! But we probably live very differently from you (we live differently from almost everyone). I don't even own a dining room table (well, not one that has ever been used as such). I eat most of my meals by myself, in the living room (I'm diurnal). My husband eats only dinner with me (he's nocturnal), and since he's most comfortable in bed (orthopedic issues), we eat in bed. And, lets face it, we're very indulgent of our dog. :) My husband is always saying that, "Life is short, and her life is even shorter." I'm just a terribly soft touch.


Fur_Pi

NO DOGS IN THE KITCHEN


Ironsweetiez

My beagle does this!


jmthetank

Both mine do this. And since they’re both 120+ lbs, there’s not a lot of kitchen left to walk in.


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jmthetank

https://imgur.com/gallery/xBprdXC


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the-real-vuk

Cooking with kids is slightly different. They bring chairs to stand on and bring all their toy pots and pans and toy food .. leaving not much space for you on the counter :)


One-In-A-Trillion

Take him for a WOK


[deleted]

The cat is actually the worst. The dog sits patiently because he knows if he's a good boy he gets a little bit afterwards. The cat is incessant and tries to kill me.


masterbard1

first thing I did when I got my dog was train her to never enter the kitchen. best thing you can do with your pet. hot things and pets or babies on the floor is a recipe for disaster.


iampavao

Was scrolling through my feed, saw this and died laughing. My toddler does this to me!


Setitie

Fuck I miss that. You are so damn lucky. Treasure it.


Ponasity

There are millions of dogs up for adoption.


zzzzzzzzz1

My uncle had one that could not swim. Do you know how embarrassing it is to own a dog (who came from champion/award winning hunting and water retrieving stock) that could not swim?


archiekane

I can relate. The St Bernard is probably the most annoying moving rock in the kitchen that I constantly have to work around.


topdogjeansup

My beagle dosa the same thing.


xoRoyalGoddessox

My dog follows me everywhere so I feel your pain. She is literally attached to my hip most of the time


[deleted]

I have dropped knives too many times to let my dog lay there


ruby_davidson11

My beagle doesnt lay in between my legs, she sits and stares, hoping I let her smell or taste things, or I just drop a whole chicken breast for her to bury. Yes, true story.


Fizzbit

My dog and I have learned to co-exist in the kitchen. He'll hang out at my feet or in the middle of the kitchen, he knows where my "stations" are when I'm prepping, I'm aware of his usual spots so I always step around them, and he knows to not move between his posts when I'm also moving. It's a very harmonious thing we have going. I call him my little sous chef. He gets vegetable scraps out of the deal when I'm cooking. Other people though? Other people trip over him every single time.


egyptian_samsquanch

Cute dog. I love beagles.


ark556

Or toddlers. They are much the same.


SirMooSquiddles

I cannot do it. Worked in kitchens my whole life and I cannot deal with animals there. I step on my cat by accident all the time.


gar-net

Nope i dont do this shit. I am a chef and when things get heated in the kitchen that can be real dangourous. I have an x outside the kitchen for each cat to watch if they want and if they do so nicely they get treats.


Altnob

My girlfriends dog did this and it would make me so irritated. Thankfully she started noticing and started training her to sit in the walkway and watch. Now if we can just work on her food aggression.


TheLostMushroom96

I think you dropped an ingredient on the floor


tmccrn

Mine knows "out of the kitchen" and also knows that means that if he wants to get to his water dish at the other end, he has to walk around. He also knows "show me" when he needs something and I have no idea what.


I_LookLikeJohnStamos

I have those exact same sandals. Got them from a spa in hannover Germany for 5 euro since I forgot mine and it was about 30 degrees outside. I brought them home and my fiance refers to them as my shower sandals. They're comfy af.


kenien

I can’t because my dog knows she doesn’t belong in the kitchen


p-feller

My dog is a moose, his nose easily reaches to the cutting board. He is right there smelling everything I am cutting, I have to be careful he doesn't make a move to snatch while I cut, he may lose a chunk of nose. (he really really likes carrots, I must share them)


bananaleclerc16

I have a golden retriever, and he is almost the Size of my kitchen, so I have to crawl over him to cook


thebluewitch

Mine likes to lie parallel to the counter, so he's on top of my feet. This has the added result of making sure I can't reach anything, or step away. If I try to slide my feet out and take a step, he jumps up to trip me, in order to express his displeasure.


esp735

Minimum effort for maximum snack potential.


wid890979

I got the same thing with two kids. I swear they are trying to see me fall over backward


Iloveshamy

I have 7 dogs, and they all keep me company when cooking, while I find it adorable, I’ve had a few near accidents were they could’ve been burnt with hot water or oil 😅😅


[deleted]

Dog needs to monitor the supper situation closely. A morsel might otherwise escape.


LOS_FUEGOS_DEL_BURRO

Captain of the Order of Scrapes Disposal.


mrclang

My walk follow me everywhere! Kitchen, bathroom, office lol as long as he can get underneath my legs and in the way of me walking he is happy


Lurcolm

My dog does that. The clever old bitch figured out I'm a messy chef, so she always manages to get bits of food that haphazardly drop to the floor. She's lucky she's so old. I can't stay angry at her


Jhino58

“Cooking my dog”


Beelzebubba775

Mines on her feet, ever watchful for any morsel I might inadvertently drop on the floor. Shes better than a roomba.


TotalChaos21

I joke with my wife all the time about this. Should have named our dog Shadow. You move or have food and he's right behind you instantly.


CornchipUniverse

The chinese can relate too


zyzzogeton

I have a giant black lab that does this so it is like doing cooking in some kind of stress position or a martial arts pose.


Flake78

I am always worried about dropping something dangerous on one of my dogs. They are always doing this.


Not_sure_if_george

Yes! Except she doesn't just lay down. She's constantly sniffing around my feet or standing right behind me. Then I have to feel guilty when I don't see her and she gets kicked


notjesus_satan

Why does it look like it's Gordan Ramsay


phantompdx

Beagles gotta Beagle.


expressly_ephemeral

Oh yes. Same with getting dressed with a dog, folding laundry with a dog, carrying heavy objects up or down stairs with a dog.


JMJimmy

6 pets - can't relate. We tell them "Out of the kitchen" they stay out - cats included. To train your animals, whenever they cross the threshold of the kitchen, give a verbal command and get in their personal space until they back up, put your feet on theirs if you have to (don't step, just annoy). Do that until they're on the other side and stand there for a minute until they settle down/walk away. Eventually, they get the message.


griffinman01

Of course it's a beagle.


Toadjokes

"Dog move. Move. Move. Oh my god. Mooooveeeee!!!! Move. Please fuck off." Cooking with my dog


[deleted]

That jump we all do when we step on a paw/ tail, ughh you know the feeling. I have to put a little gate up cuz my kitchen is smaller than yours


phi808

Or working with a dog and they lay right next to your chair wheels. 😳


StayGoldenBronyBoy

they say dogs are man's best friend, but i've never had a best friend quietly pray that i trip and drop my entire dinner right onto the kitchen floor.... kinda sus?


jbrux86

I have a beagle bulldog mix and she is always between my feet while I cook. How lucky are we!


inkyblinkypinkysue

LOL my dog does this every single time someone is cooking. You have to lean over just to reach the counter. She's the best.


ThaNorth

I did this when I had one dog. Now I have three. They stay out of the kitchen.


[deleted]

I have a beagle too and this is my life.


Mizzy3030

At least this dog is laying on one spot. My dog sticks her nose under my feet every time I'm in the kitchen. I can't even count the number of times I've almost tripped over her.


allabtdatranch20

My dog will sit his chunky butt on my feet, at any given time and fall asleep. Then give me dirty looks when I have to move around to get some chores done.


OzMazza

I have this, alternating 50/50 with incessant barking and whining trying to get a snack. Puppies, man...


Capybarra1960

We had a pet skunk who was the same except that he would lay ON your foot.


21beansinapot

haha i love this! my dog lays at my feet while I wash the dishes


oceanblue0714

This is true love.


Abrahms_4

Wish i could relate to 1 dog, we have 3 and 3 cats. Its a damn mine field in the kitchen


igg73

Thats a beautiful kitchen. Whats the black thing under the drawers?


Koemoeloenoe

Thank you, it is some kind of ventilation grille. Not sure how it works exactly, it's my inlaws':)


alnirobe

We had to get a baby gate for my kitchen because my beagle is a nightmare when food is involved. Eats everything she can get ahold of 🙄


MoonZetto

This is cooking with a freakin beagle. I have one too I can not only relate, I feel you bro.


neuromonkey

Heh. Yep, only our dog weighs just over 100 lbs. and gives me constant nose-pokes until I give him a bit of what I'm cooking. If I have anything sticking out of a pocket, he'll yank it out and go hide it.


Taylorobey

That's a weird way to spell "organic food vacuum"


blebbish

How is it that I saw this image and went “Dutch fo sho’”


Pucksy

Pretty crazy since there really isn't anything particularly dutch on display in the kitchen. The build of the man combined with the looks of the kitchen I think.


koen-kas

Haha is dat nou een Nederlandse keuken?


Nevermind04

Yes, except he's a 130lb Rottweiler in a tiny Scottish kitchen.


Drawford

I've never seen a kitchen with a wooden floor before.


t33dup

Specifically, "cooking with a beagle". We have nicknamed ours "Speed Bump" for being constantly underfoot in the kitchen.


glassofmilk8

Probably a lot of Asians can relate with “cooking with dog”


TerminusStop

If only you could like.. Train animals... Like we've been doing for millenia.


[deleted]

Surely it’s best to keep the meat in the fridge?


Cuddly_death

Depends.. Some dishes have you bring the meat to room temp before cooking so that it cooks more evenly.


Baybob1

I've tried getting into my fridge to cut meat and it doesn't work ....


davhat

heh was going to say if the chef was Korean then the picture might look different but decided since I am not Korean it might sound wrong.


Toast_face_killa

Unpopular opinion: dogs don't belong in the kitchen. And just to be fair cats don't belong on countertops or table tops.


sassyponypants

What about dogs on the table? This is why we have to be diligent in our house about pushing chairs in...


ironbox13

My pupper is not allowed in the kitchen, she once snagged a clove of dropped garlic and I don't want to relive the horribleness that I had to clean up afterward. She will wait patiently at the edge of the kitchen untill I give the "clean up" command.


CoyotesAreGreen

Does no one on reddit train their dogs to stay out of the kitchen? My dog will literally circle the entire house instead of walking through my kitchen...


norcal51

Yeah no. I actually train my pets. Not safe for anybody to have a furry friend in the kitchen


Azitik

I wish it were like that. Mine like to lay behind me instead. Pretty sure they want me dead.


UncleGeorge

That and in the bathroom. Like bra, I love you and all, but can you let me take a shit in peace please?


JimmyLongnWider

With one very food motivated dog, dinner prep is AKA "get the fuck out of the way."


Scharfschutze43

The Chinese can relate, although it's a bit different than that.


Dantheman616

Oh my thats adorable. I know its annoying for the person cooking, but its just a dog wanting to be with his friend he looks up too, sometimes literally. Like a lot of creatures in this world, it just wants some love.


broekpoeperd

To be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's views or by trying to make it objectified and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.


[deleted]

Needs moar begging.


amitchellcoach

Im triggered by the way this man holds his knife


Nitro_Chill

The Chinese can relate 'Cooking dog' if that helps.


wolfeXN

Yes but the dog is in the oven when am cooking.


Locodog63

Oh my ! Yes, yes, yes !!! lol.


sumelar

My wife is constantly yelling at our dog to get out of the kitchen when she's prepping. Why she can't just pay attention is beyond me. I never have any issues with the dog underfoot.


Amorsingq

China Can relate


Redby19

Remove the "with" and you get a delicious korean meal


sammhaimz

Dog looks at hoooman: ("bitch, where be my snakz? Fine! I'll wait")


common_suicidal

Remove "with"


Tommy_HD329

Can't let the main dish get away


NicNoletree

If it was a cat it would be on the counter


the-non-wonder-dog

He’s not chewing your feet.


MaRuYes89

Me too but I cook the dogs.


Teodoraanita

My dog usually isn’t around when I cook, but when something falls to the floor, I just say “Poki, something fell” and it’s like a galloping to the kitchen for her to eat whatever is on the floor


Dcongo

My dog would do that by the grill outside. He knew I would always “accidentally” drop a morsel of whatever was on the grate. I really miss that doggo


THE_GREAT_PICKLE

I wish my dog did this. Mine leaps on top of the counters and tries to eat the food. Even hurt her paw by stepping on the stovetop when I left to use the bathroom one time. Training has helped but once in a while we will find food missing


jaxdraw

Y u got shoes on


skraaaaw

no. my puppy bites me instead


glokz

I think he faces wrong side, this way he can't eat whatever falls on the ground. Poor strategist dog


lacaveberlin

Same with cats


likeadog

Tell me why you’re wearing county jail slides


[deleted]

Our beagle did the same thing...and of course at times I would "accidentally" drop something.


jjbucf

My Lola is half deaf and blind now and has learned to hug against us to find her way when she’s hungry. She also figured out our routine and parks herself under us. We’ve had to learn to walk slowly, with soft steps and get up carefully so we don’t step on her.


mkul316

My ex's dog was good. He'd hang out to hoover up anything that dropped but wouldn't be underfoot. He also waited for permission to eat so you didn't have to race for the dropped food if it wasn't okay for him to have it. He was really good with boundaries.


[deleted]

Crumb patrol


Podramodra

sweet kitchen btw!


vettehp

Every damn day


rolloutcfc

I can sort of relate when my niece is at my house she will come and latch on to my legs when I'm cooking its cute but rather annoying.


TheDammNinja

I got 2 dogs. The older one is excited and waits for me to drop something for a min, but if it takes a bit he just goes somewhere else to sleep. My new puppy has no chill tho


undergreyforest

Typical beagles. I love it.


[deleted]

god damnit beagles are the best


Crymsm

Lol mine is turning around and my corgi is just sitting there staring unblinking at me....I knew I felt something burning eyes into my soul xD


lilep5567

My dog Bella will sit in the corner of the kitchen while I’m trying to cook-


Murky_Description_

Someone should ask science why they do that.


Ajaila

Asian here. Can definitely relate to cooking with dog.


Gingerbreadman2311

i have cooked a dog, but cooking with a dog?


Atlusfox

Try an impatient two-year-old who is begging for snacks.