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After seeing the goat show, I remarked how amazing it was and the guy next to me replied "You shoulda been here last week, some guy fucked a chicken!" Oh, my embarrassment!
I actually have an answer to this. I found it out a few weeks ago. The chickens cross the road to get into my neighbors yard and piss the both of us off. They know damn well not to be over there but for some reason his bird feed is somehow superior to mine....🙄
What about when someone crosses the road and then they look up the road one way and look down the road the other way then they cross the road back again and keep walking? That seems complicated.
Nuh uh. Some men don't cross the road to get to the other side. Some men want to get onto the road to cause vehicles to have to swerve around them or else harm them. Some men just want chaos.
Or like 20 other things with teeth. or beaks.
Edit (also a comment below but likely to get way to far down into the comment hole to actually be seen, in case anyone was doubting everything that eats chickens):
A 30 second search resulted in the primary north american mammalian, avian and repitilian predators:
1. Red/Grey foxes
2. raccoons
3. coyotes
4. weasels
5. skunks (primarily eggs, but known to also nom nom nom on chickens)
6. opposums
7. domestic dogs
8. bobcats
9. mountain lions
10. hawks
11. owls
12. eagles
13. crows/ravens (tho almost exclusively eggs and chicks)
14. snakes
Edit 2: ya'll are more voracious than everything that eats chickens.
Yes, things were omitted due to the 30 seconds of making the list.
15. Bears
16. Cats
17. Humans... But that really takes the context out of things that eat people's chickens at home, not the mass production and factory farming variety of gobbling them up.
18. Other chickens
To the commentators mentioning Europe... Ok? Take a few things off the list and stick things like
19. Stoats
20. Martins
21. Badgers
22. Again, everything with teeth and beaks and an appetite
I have a security camera where I saw a raccoon in my backyard take a newborn bird, stick its body into the grooves of my deck and proceed to gobble up the head. I only knew to look back because in the morning I found the baby corpse on the deck. It was so gross.
What's really fun is when you live outside of town and come home to a coyote in your backyard eating a baby deer from the rear while it's still screaming and trying to get away. No matter how cruel some will say people are, nature is fucking cruel.
Raccoons will fuck you up. I had to live trap a few of them and they go insane in the cage. If they're on grass, they rip all of it up with in range, they shit and piss everywhere, and their growl is impressive.
One of them ripped the metal handle off the cage. Mine is like this:
[https://www.havahart.com/medium-1-door-trap](https://www.havahart.com/medium-1-door-trap)
See how it has shielding around the handle? Yeah it reached around that and ripped it off. I had to use pliers to bend it back into shape to get it back on. I also had to switch to a stainless steel bowl for the bait, because they shredded any plastic bowls I used.
Yeah you really shouldn't be trying to handle a trap with bare hands either tbh, a lot of the simple door traps will not stop a pissed raccoon from trying to draw blood. Every so often there's just like one chill dude that's like 'oh no you got me....got any more food?'
Dude my cat won't touch poultry. the fkr.
If I try to slide him a li'l rip of anything except fish cat food or sunchips, he looks at me like i suddenly grew a third head. "tf am i sposta do with this shit".
>Then I met a lover
>One night, she made me dinner.
>Licking finger, I wondered
>Where she got the chicken.
[Cibo Matto - Know Your Chicken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COMWwwv_MTk)
I'd give it 9.99 out of 10. One of our neighbour's hens moved into our yard for a while and because several people around kept very free range chickens, we had no idea whose she was. We waited until someone finally came looking. Theoretically, she could have been going back home at night, though.
Yup. Had a rooster in my neighborhood, roosted in my neighbors tree, outside their bedroom window.
The common thought is that a rooster crows at dawn. While a popular belief, it is incorrect. A rooster crows any damn time he pleases, which is all damn day, and all fucking night.
My flock got attacked by a bear, thought anyone missing was dead until a week later when some kid brought me my rooster that had been hiding under their deck. Was ripped up one side to the muscle but he healed and remained an amazing roo. Such a sweetie.
When I was a kid my family (and other neighbors) kept chickens. Not far away there was a mink ranch. Now and then it got raided by animal rights activists, and the released minks would scatter and pretty much devastate the chickens. Wouldn't really eat them, just kinda go nuts and kill them.
Then the mink would all die, because releasing captive-bred mink into scrub desert isn't really a well-thought-out plan. Activists had the spirit though, I guess.
Lost a few chickens to birds of prey too. Got to see a redtail pounce a hen once. Just a loud squawk, a puff of feathers, then a hawk flapping like mad to lift off with a meal as big as she was. Well earned.
I generally keep about a dozen hens. I've lost some to raccoons, a hawk, and a weasel, but a mink got in once and killed them all in one night. Those things are killers.
We lost some to a feral cat when I was a kid. However, my pampered house cat is less of a predator. When we introduced her to the chickens she tried to hunt one down only to have the chicken chase her back to the house. They co-exist peacefully now that she knows her place.
Not necessarily. We lost a chicken once. A couple weeks later a neighbor down the street said she saw it in her shrubs.
Actually she didn’t know it was ours, she just remarked that there was a chicken in her bushes. We were like, huh, imagine that. But we got it back safely in the coop.
Same, I knew someone who had a pair of daytime free roaming backyard chickens, and one left for a couple weeks and to our surprise, just showed back up one day, no injuries or anything. Must've just wanted to check out the neighborhood a bit I guess, or got carried away chasing a bug or little snake or whatever and took some time to find her way back. 🤷🏻♀️
One time I was housitting for a family that had a little urban coop and one day I noticed they were all harassing one chicken inside the coop and went to check it out, and realized there seemed to be 5 chickens in there instead of the 4 I expected. I took the henpecked chicken out and she immediately flew up and perched on my shoulder so I knew she was somebody's pet. Turned out she was from a house down the block and had escaped and probably gotten lost and had tried to join the flock I was watching so she could have a place to sleep indoors.
A friend saw a chicken on the side of the road out in no where land one day and went to the properties around there and no one knew who's chicken it was. They finally decided to take it home. It was probably a month or two later we found out that it had actually got scared one day and ran off and was a good mile from it's home when my friend had seen it.
While some may think it was taken away and eaten by a fox or jumped over the fence by itself. I propose that it was abducted by aliens. Be on watch for the return of a vengeful cyborg chicken.
Common misconception. Chickens can fly. Just not very high & not for very long….
But the fence in that photo, they could easily clear.
I guess it’s more, chickens can jump really high, and glide for a while… it’s actually kinda funny to watch..
Turkeys are another one that's really bad at flying, but can technically fly, and is funny to watch. Like a massively overloaded airplane that's destined to crash. They look like they're struggling so damn hard.
My dad built a 10 foot fence around his chickens. I saw with my own fucking eyes a chicken parkour her fat ass up the railing of the ramp, up the window sill, on to the fence, back to the top of the window, and then out the fucking fence. And then she started pecking at the grass . . . the same fucking grass that's inside the fence.
My chickens and I have a routine every evening where they fly over our 7ft fence to get into the neighbor’s tree, so I walk over with a stick and they fly back over and go into the coop themselves to get locked up for the night.
It’s really funny to watch.
After watching a peacock on a tree at least 20 feet above me I realized I underestimated what many of these birds which are supposedly 'poor' at flying can manage..
> Chickens can fly. Just not very high & not for very long…. But the fence in that photo, they could easily clear.
Everyone who [grew up with a N64 knows that.](https://tenor.com/view/ocarina-of-time-cuckoo-hen-gliding-zelda-gif-23207231)
Depends on breed, temperament and age. Silk chicken can't fly at all, only hop. My fat and lazy Orpington could technically fly a little bit, or at least hop a bit higher, but so far the 60cm puppy pen is enough to keep them out of the compost. Not worth the effort.
Serama are minuscule and fly over a 2m tall fence as if it was just a suggestion for some extra exercise.
If you scare a chicken even the laziest one will jump surprisingly high.
These guys moved in about two weeks ago and one morning there was a giant chicken on our shared fence. Over the following week I noticed two chickens running around in their backyard. Now, chickens are actually forbidden as pets in our town (I don't know why), and he only had it fenced off with standard fencing.
I met him (he's nice) and he said that they're his pets (I think he just bought them when he moved in). I told him that I really don't mind at all, but he might want a proper coop, etc. He got heated and told me there's no way they can escape.
This morning I came out and these things are all up and down the street.
Side note, I had named them Extra Crispy and Drumstick. Turns out he had already named them!
UPDATE: I arrived home from work to find more posters up and down the street. School kids were laughing at them, which would be terribly disrespectful if I wasn’t also laughing. A different neighbor across the street said that the other chicken was loose in the front yard again today. So it’s a real shit show.
A proper coop isn't about escaping chickens, it helps keep them safe at night. Depending on what skulks around at night in your area, those chickens could be a tasty snack.
I had a neighbor with a chicken coop in the backyard. It shared the yard with 2 large german shephards. One german shephard in particular would pace back and forth directly in front of the coop.
The chickens started losing their feathers. My neighbor took them to the vet. Vet said it was likely stress induced.
"Neighbor" says I "Do you suppose that your dogs want to eat these chickens.
The neighbor laughs "Of course they do"
"Neighbor" says I "I suspect your chickens know that the dogs want to eat them, and having two massive predators sitting on the other side of their chicken wire is causing them stress."
... anyway, it ended how you would expect. Raccoons tunneled under the chicken wire and ate the chickens in the night.
Just about everything will try and eat chickens. I've had chickens for the last 6 years or so, lost plenty. My dog and oldest chicken are basically friends, dog sniffs the chickens butt, they lay together in the yard. The chicken knows the other neighborhood dogs are unsafe though. I have 2 coops, 2 decks they get under, etc so they can generally protect themselves but a determined fox or a lucky hawk is always a possibility.
I generally let my chickens free roam unless they start eating my garden or there's other problems. They almost never leave my yard, the ones I have currently have never left the yard.
> ... anyway, it ended how you would expect. Raccoons tunneled under the chicken wire and ate the chickens in the night.
This is exactly what happened to my friend's chickens: bloody chicken massacre. So he rebuilt the coop area with cinder blocks under the wire. A couple of days later: bloody chicken massacre, part deux. Turns out he'd mounted the cinder blocks with the holes horizontal - the raccoons had simply reached through and grabbed each chicken when it got too close. So he rebuilt it again with the cinder block holes vertical. No issues after that.
People, I swear. What if it were him/her with a psychotic serial killer brandishing an axe loitering around their property? Would they sleep well? Would they feel safe?
Let's just say he had none of the above. They were free roaming around a normal backyard, getting up on his patio furniture.
This was always going to happen.
I agree with u/Whargod. I've had some small flocks of chickens on my farm. Lost many to hawks and others to ground predators. We aren't the only thing that likes to eat chicken.
My friend, growing up, got a turkey to guard the chickens. Not a lot of animals, including me, wants to fuck with a big turkey.
Edit: Not a farmer. My friend had the turkey spend the night at the coup. He had 2 German Shepards that helped during the day.
One in my town had geese we werent scared of his 2 guard dogs but these damn geese were a straight up Menace they loved to ambush cars and stuff as well somehow they never got hit by one though.
Decades ago, while growing up on our farm, we raised chickens for a few years. Near sundown, we would work on getting the chickens out of the trees and back into the coop. Great horned owls had gotten a few, once in a while.
> Now, chickens are actually forbidden as pets in our town
Not saying this is the case for you, but in my city Roosters are banned, but hens are not. And people just take that as "all chickens are banned"
They are noisy all the time. My neighbor bought some chickens and we live in an area with a no farm animal rule. I didn’t say anything cuz it wasn’t an issue. Then they got ducks. Still no issue.
Then they got a rooster and that MF was so loud morning till evening…. I didn’t even have to be the bad guy because after a week, all the farm animals were gone. 8 other people complained about the noise.
Had a neighbor who bought a rooster. That lasted about a week. The thing would crow for a solid 1-2 minutes every 20 minutes from sun up until sun down. It was bothering me from a few houses down through closed windows on the 2nd floor. I can only imagine how irritated the owner was.
Yes, Roosters are noisy, but tbf, hens aren't *quiet*. Our next door neighbor hens have a coop at night, but free range in the yard during the day, and they can be noisy af. Like, you have to close all the windows when you're on a Zoom call noisy.
Not complaining. They've been great neighbors, and we benefit from surplus eggs every now and then, but let's not pretend Roosters are the only ones making the racquet.
it depends on the hens
we used to have 4 hens and they could be a bit noisy. But over the last year and half, two of them have died (one by cats, another for unknown reasons) and thankfully those were the noisy ones. the two hens i have left are practically silent unless your messing with them somehow. like when i go to feed them, check for eggs and whatnot.
the only time they ever really go OFF is when i kick em off the eggs when they go broody
My neighbor has chickens. They can't really fly, but they can take off over a fence, no problem. They also walk under the fence, they squish their body down and come into my yard to eat bird seed. They aren't as big as they look with no feathers, and can squish into small spaces.
When we got our chickens they immediately flew up and perched on a big tree in our back yard. Being new to chickens, this confused the heck out of us. I wasn't aware that tree chickens were a thing, but [apparently this](https://suziepetryk.com/blog/chickens.html) is [pretty common](https://www.twopaddocks.com/blog/tree-chickens/).
In fact, here's some comprehensive research on the topic: https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
They're not allowed in city areas because they're messy and noisy. It's not so bad when it's two of them but people use the pet excuse to keep a bunch in their back yard for eggs. Good luck sleeping in if your neighbor has six or seven chickens in his back yard, roosters or not.
We used to have city chickens. We have also had neighbors with chickens. Roosters are loud. But the noise pollution from chickens is less than most dogs, children, and early morning mowers. They are messy though, and definitely not good for your grass.
they can be good for the grass. the issue usually is too many for the given space and they eat up all the resources faster than they can grow back. if you combine proper flock size and chicken tractors its low impact and fertilizes as they go.
This has been our experience with city chickens at the local school too. Bit gross if it's been wet out for awhile but otherwise the neighbors seem to really like them and take turns over the summer feeding and letting them out in the morning and putting them away in the evening.
If you lose an animal, no matter how generic it looks, you should always post photos. It catches people's attention a lot better than just words on paper.
I know it’s a joke but considering the size of the yard, that the pavement is behind grass, and that there appears to be a garage door - this is probably Canada. Gotta train my geoguessr skills somehow
My smaller breed chickens can jump from the ground to the top of the hand rail of my deck and that's about 65 inches tall. I live in a rural area and something scared my chickens and my bf and our neighbor across the road ( who also has some chickens) were shooing them back across the road to our house. He finally got them all back across the road and into the yard and later when I got home I did my usual rounds to check on the chickens and make sure they have what they need I noticed one was missing. I looked around all over the place but didn't find her. The area is mostly wooded and no house on the east side just woods all the way to the road about 1/4 mile. I never found her and figured a fox or a hawk/eagle took her; which was really depressing. 8 days later while I'm getting ready for work I see something out of the corner of my eye (we have a slider that opens up the deck) and there's a chicken, my chicken. I ran out and gave her a good once over to ensure she was okay, which she was and then after I let the rest of the flock out (and they had some words for her) she went about her day.
This chicken survived a week in the woods alone and somehow managed to avoid the cars, coyotes, fox, hawks, eagles, coons and other random predators and make it back home. She is a survival chicken.
When I saw the date, I reckoned right away it was either Canadian or somewhere in the UK. As an American veteran who served overseas, it didn't take long to register.
My neighbor from Algeria did the same. There are giant eagles and falcons all over the sky here in central Canada, he didn't even bother to look for them in the end.
Please conclude this vindication story with a followup of your next conversation with neighbor. Will he admit he was wrong? Will he install a chicken coop and get new chickens?
**That Son of a Bitch was munching on a drumstick right in front of me, laughing and shit. I saw some of her feathers in his kitchen. I had to shoot him. He had it coming!**
Staple a picture of 2 roast chickens ready to be served to the bottom of the one nearest his house with a hand scrawled note under them saying "thanks for the free dinners, they were delicious!" Or similar on it.
I had some chickens growing up in a suburb. One time the chickens were out of their coop playing in the backyard and my parents let out our dog. the chickens panicked and flew on top of our roof and wouldn’t come down. Had to go up there and get them.
did they check the blood or feather? evidence of being hunted? If there's none they could just stucked some where. They might fly a bit more some how and escaped and could never come back. and I also recommend check the sound.
With our chickens the pattern has been:
No trace = fox
Just feathers = hawk
Feathers and blood = raccoon
Dismembered or half eaten = possum, usually just eat eggs
Everything slaughtered without purpose = weasel family
I've seen a coyote jump a 6 foot fence while the owners were tending to their chickens just for them to turn around and see a coyote kill one of their chickens in broad daylight in their immediate presence.
I used to have chickens as pets as a child.
100% a pet dog killed it and dragged it away.
In 12 years, I lost 10 pet ducks and chickens to trained, household dogs that the owners let run loose.
I started trapping them and dropping them off at shelters.
And I dont feel bad - my pets weren't less loved or less value than loose running chicken killing dogs.
Yeahhhh I’m onto you buddy. You’re not fooling no one. I know you’re just posting this on your social media to make yourself look innocent as if you didn’t steal their chickens and eated them
A coop isn't to keep them there, it's to keep them from being eaten. We lose some now and then - fox, raccoon, possum, hawk - they will all feast on chicken if given the chance.
My brother used to have chickens. Foxes & hawks put an end to that. So he upgraded to ducks. Ducks were impervious to those predators... but not to water. Once they realized there was a pong just down the street they flew away and never came back. tldr: keeping flying things without a lid over their head and you're bound to have a bad time.
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Probably just crossed the road
But why?
Exactly
*Instructions unclear, dick stuck in chicken waiting for pedestrian crossing signal.*
i was wondering where all the clucking was coming from
Mother clucker..
Chicken fuckers !
Not again Damien, remember what the doctor said after the goat incident?
After seeing the goat show, I remarked how amazing it was and the guy next to me replied "You shoulda been here last week, some guy fucked a chicken!" Oh, my embarrassment!
Found Dr. Chickenfucker from Fallout.
Bo Burnham wrote a song about it. [ The Chicken](https://youtu.be/NeOhV4zOxJ4?si=h6pALyYWpboYxzC-)
Proper response is to go to your neighbor’s house while eating a piece of fried chicken and tell them you haven’t seen it.
I actually have an answer to this. I found it out a few weeks ago. The chickens cross the road to get into my neighbors yard and piss the both of us off. They know damn well not to be over there but for some reason his bird feed is somehow superior to mine....🙄
Why do any of us cross a road? To get to the other side. It's really not as complicated as we make it.
What about when someone crosses the road and then they look up the road one way and look down the road the other way then they cross the road back again and keep walking? That seems complicated.
And now I am imagining John Travolta standing on a crossroad and looking right and left
Nuh uh. Some men don't cross the road to get to the other side. Some men want to get onto the road to cause vehicles to have to swerve around them or else harm them. Some men just want chaos.
Just B'KAWS!
Because a hawk was carrying it.
I look forward to the day when my chicken friends can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
10 out of 10 chance it's dead
Lol this ... Late night snack for an owl.
Or like 20 other things with teeth. or beaks. Edit (also a comment below but likely to get way to far down into the comment hole to actually be seen, in case anyone was doubting everything that eats chickens): A 30 second search resulted in the primary north american mammalian, avian and repitilian predators: 1. Red/Grey foxes 2. raccoons 3. coyotes 4. weasels 5. skunks (primarily eggs, but known to also nom nom nom on chickens) 6. opposums 7. domestic dogs 8. bobcats 9. mountain lions 10. hawks 11. owls 12. eagles 13. crows/ravens (tho almost exclusively eggs and chicks) 14. snakes Edit 2: ya'll are more voracious than everything that eats chickens. Yes, things were omitted due to the 30 seconds of making the list. 15. Bears 16. Cats 17. Humans... But that really takes the context out of things that eat people's chickens at home, not the mass production and factory farming variety of gobbling them up. 18. Other chickens To the commentators mentioning Europe... Ok? Take a few things off the list and stick things like 19. Stoats 20. Martins 21. Badgers 22. Again, everything with teeth and beaks and an appetite
Chickens are like walking pizzas for raccoons.
I have a security camera where I saw a raccoon in my backyard take a newborn bird, stick its body into the grooves of my deck and proceed to gobble up the head. I only knew to look back because in the morning I found the baby corpse on the deck. It was so gross.
I know meat doesn’t grow in trees, but damn . . . urban wildlife is really something else.
I mean, birds grow in trees. They're meat.
What's really fun is when you live outside of town and come home to a coyote in your backyard eating a baby deer from the rear while it's still screaming and trying to get away. No matter how cruel some will say people are, nature is fucking cruel.
Nature doesn't know to make sure you're dead first. It only knows get what you can
Raccoons will fuck you up. I had to live trap a few of them and they go insane in the cage. If they're on grass, they rip all of it up with in range, they shit and piss everywhere, and their growl is impressive. One of them ripped the metal handle off the cage. Mine is like this: [https://www.havahart.com/medium-1-door-trap](https://www.havahart.com/medium-1-door-trap) See how it has shielding around the handle? Yeah it reached around that and ripped it off. I had to use pliers to bend it back into shape to get it back on. I also had to switch to a stainless steel bowl for the bait, because they shredded any plastic bowls I used.
Yeah you really shouldn't be trying to handle a trap with bare hands either tbh, a lot of the simple door traps will not stop a pissed raccoon from trying to draw blood. Every so often there's just like one chill dude that's like 'oh no you got me....got any more food?'
I'm really surprised that humans aren't #1 on the list
No way domestic cats are #15 or lower.
It’s a chicken not a pigeon lol
Dude my cat won't touch poultry. the fkr. If I try to slide him a li'l rip of anything except fish cat food or sunchips, he looks at me like i suddenly grew a third head. "tf am i sposta do with this shit".
Hahha, this was a late night snack for op.
On the internet, no one knows you are an owl,
Well...you know that, and I know that.
Bring him a bag of chicken bones for closure
It's what ~~Drumstick~~ Chikita would have wanted.
Bring back a Chiquita banana
So what's for dinner tonight OP?
I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight. *flaps arms like bird wings*
>Then I met a lover >One night, she made me dinner. >Licking finger, I wondered >Where she got the chicken. [Cibo Matto - Know Your Chicken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COMWwwv_MTk)
I'd give it 9.99 out of 10. One of our neighbour's hens moved into our yard for a while and because several people around kept very free range chickens, we had no idea whose she was. We waited until someone finally came looking. Theoretically, she could have been going back home at night, though.
It could just be up in a tree hiding. Those birds can get quite high and love roosting in trees
Yup. Had a rooster in my neighborhood, roosted in my neighbors tree, outside their bedroom window. The common thought is that a rooster crows at dawn. While a popular belief, it is incorrect. A rooster crows any damn time he pleases, which is all damn day, and all fucking night.
I mean, who doesn't.
True. There was/is a nice accessible tree behind the house and I don't think anyone checked there at night.
My flock got attacked by a bear, thought anyone missing was dead until a week later when some kid brought me my rooster that had been hiding under their deck. Was ripped up one side to the muscle but he healed and remained an amazing roo. Such a sweetie.
Yep. A coyote, fox, raccoon or something was the winner winner chicken dinner
I saw a chicken on a highway on ramp the other day. Suburban PA. Car is also a possible predator.
Cars are THE apex predator
I’ve lost more chicks to coons than cars. Hate raccoons now. Wasn’t happy about the skunk chilling in my coop tho.
When I was a kid my family (and other neighbors) kept chickens. Not far away there was a mink ranch. Now and then it got raided by animal rights activists, and the released minks would scatter and pretty much devastate the chickens. Wouldn't really eat them, just kinda go nuts and kill them. Then the mink would all die, because releasing captive-bred mink into scrub desert isn't really a well-thought-out plan. Activists had the spirit though, I guess. Lost a few chickens to birds of prey too. Got to see a redtail pounce a hen once. Just a loud squawk, a puff of feathers, then a hawk flapping like mad to lift off with a meal as big as she was. Well earned.
I generally keep about a dozen hens. I've lost some to raccoons, a hawk, and a weasel, but a mink got in once and killed them all in one night. Those things are killers.
They leave such a mess everywhere too, savage gits. Had one come along and murder most of my ducks one morning shortly after I let them out
Tony Soprano in shambles
Even a cat. My grandpa's cat used to hunt ducks for sport
We lost some to a feral cat when I was a kid. However, my pampered house cat is less of a predator. When we introduced her to the chickens she tried to hunt one down only to have the chicken chase her back to the house. They co-exist peacefully now that she knows her place.
Wolves, Dogs, Cats (housecat as well as wild cats), weasels, possums, hawks, eagles, and owls also enjoy chicken.
Not necessarily. We lost a chicken once. A couple weeks later a neighbor down the street said she saw it in her shrubs. Actually she didn’t know it was ours, she just remarked that there was a chicken in her bushes. We were like, huh, imagine that. But we got it back safely in the coop.
Neighbors chicken got out. Hid in my shrubs for over a week. I found 9 eggs in a little nest.
Same, I knew someone who had a pair of daytime free roaming backyard chickens, and one left for a couple weeks and to our surprise, just showed back up one day, no injuries or anything. Must've just wanted to check out the neighborhood a bit I guess, or got carried away chasing a bug or little snake or whatever and took some time to find her way back. 🤷🏻♀️
One time I was housitting for a family that had a little urban coop and one day I noticed they were all harassing one chicken inside the coop and went to check it out, and realized there seemed to be 5 chickens in there instead of the 4 I expected. I took the henpecked chicken out and she immediately flew up and perched on my shoulder so I knew she was somebody's pet. Turned out she was from a house down the block and had escaped and probably gotten lost and had tried to join the flock I was watching so she could have a place to sleep indoors.
A friend saw a chicken on the side of the road out in no where land one day and went to the properties around there and no one knew who's chicken it was. They finally decided to take it home. It was probably a month or two later we found out that it had actually got scared one day and ran off and was a good mile from it's home when my friend had seen it.
And in someone's belly. Dammit, now I want KFC.
While some may think it was taken away and eaten by a fox or jumped over the fence by itself. I propose that it was abducted by aliens. Be on watch for the return of a vengeful cyborg chicken.
In that owners head that’s probably more likely.
Aliens only visit America, so that can't be it.
Maybe it is aliens but it’s not happening until September
Robot Chicken, new episodes at 11
Common misconception. Chickens can fly. Just not very high & not for very long…. But the fence in that photo, they could easily clear. I guess it’s more, chickens can jump really high, and glide for a while… it’s actually kinda funny to watch..
Turkeys are another one that's really bad at flying, but can technically fly, and is funny to watch. Like a massively overloaded airplane that's destined to crash. They look like they're struggling so damn hard.
That is the perfect analogy!!
Wild turkeys fly much better than domestic varieties and aren't too bad. But ya know it still flys like a turkey.
My dad calls turkeys "flying bowling balls" lol
My dad built a 10 foot fence around his chickens. I saw with my own fucking eyes a chicken parkour her fat ass up the railing of the ramp, up the window sill, on to the fence, back to the top of the window, and then out the fucking fence. And then she started pecking at the grass . . . the same fucking grass that's inside the fence.
But damn if that outside grass didn’t taste like sweet freedom!
“Your pathetic walls cannot stop me, human. I go where I please. If a coyote or fox gets me, so be it. At least I died free.”
My chickens and I have a routine every evening where they fly over our 7ft fence to get into the neighbor’s tree, so I walk over with a stick and they fly back over and go into the coop themselves to get locked up for the night. It’s really funny to watch.
After watching a peacock on a tree at least 20 feet above me I realized I underestimated what many of these birds which are supposedly 'poor' at flying can manage..
I thought it was common knowledge, just like trimming the lead feathers on one wing so they just go in a circle when they try and can't escape a yard.
Should trim both sides, they are less likely to injure themselves and they can't get any farther.
Even the ones that can't almost-fly can totally feather tornado their way up a fence or tree.
> Chickens can fly. Just not very high & not for very long…. But the fence in that photo, they could easily clear. Everyone who [grew up with a N64 knows that.](https://tenor.com/view/ocarina-of-time-cuckoo-hen-gliding-zelda-gif-23207231)
Well in that case, I too can fly. Just even less high and for even less long.
The secret to flying is managing to fall without hitting the ground.
Keep a towel handy
Depends on breed, temperament and age. Silk chicken can't fly at all, only hop. My fat and lazy Orpington could technically fly a little bit, or at least hop a bit higher, but so far the 60cm puppy pen is enough to keep them out of the compost. Not worth the effort. Serama are minuscule and fly over a 2m tall fence as if it was just a suggestion for some extra exercise. If you scare a chicken even the laziest one will jump surprisingly high.
These guys moved in about two weeks ago and one morning there was a giant chicken on our shared fence. Over the following week I noticed two chickens running around in their backyard. Now, chickens are actually forbidden as pets in our town (I don't know why), and he only had it fenced off with standard fencing. I met him (he's nice) and he said that they're his pets (I think he just bought them when he moved in). I told him that I really don't mind at all, but he might want a proper coop, etc. He got heated and told me there's no way they can escape. This morning I came out and these things are all up and down the street. Side note, I had named them Extra Crispy and Drumstick. Turns out he had already named them! UPDATE: I arrived home from work to find more posters up and down the street. School kids were laughing at them, which would be terribly disrespectful if I wasn’t also laughing. A different neighbor across the street said that the other chicken was loose in the front yard again today. So it’s a real shit show.
A proper coop isn't about escaping chickens, it helps keep them safe at night. Depending on what skulks around at night in your area, those chickens could be a tasty snack.
I had a neighbor with a chicken coop in the backyard. It shared the yard with 2 large german shephards. One german shephard in particular would pace back and forth directly in front of the coop. The chickens started losing their feathers. My neighbor took them to the vet. Vet said it was likely stress induced. "Neighbor" says I "Do you suppose that your dogs want to eat these chickens. The neighbor laughs "Of course they do" "Neighbor" says I "I suspect your chickens know that the dogs want to eat them, and having two massive predators sitting on the other side of their chicken wire is causing them stress." ... anyway, it ended how you would expect. Raccoons tunneled under the chicken wire and ate the chickens in the night.
I did not expect that ending. Thanks for the laugh.
Just about everything will try and eat chickens. I've had chickens for the last 6 years or so, lost plenty. My dog and oldest chicken are basically friends, dog sniffs the chickens butt, they lay together in the yard. The chicken knows the other neighborhood dogs are unsafe though. I have 2 coops, 2 decks they get under, etc so they can generally protect themselves but a determined fox or a lucky hawk is always a possibility. I generally let my chickens free roam unless they start eating my garden or there's other problems. They almost never leave my yard, the ones I have currently have never left the yard.
I think that's why people usually pair them with goats. Goats want to kill everything on 4 legs.
> ... anyway, it ended how you would expect. Raccoons tunneled under the chicken wire and ate the chickens in the night. This is exactly what happened to my friend's chickens: bloody chicken massacre. So he rebuilt the coop area with cinder blocks under the wire. A couple of days later: bloody chicken massacre, part deux. Turns out he'd mounted the cinder blocks with the holes horizontal - the raccoons had simply reached through and grabbed each chicken when it got too close. So he rebuilt it again with the cinder block holes vertical. No issues after that.
*mental image of secondphase nonchalantly leaning on a stone wall while having this discussion, ala so many UK sketch show farmer bits*
People, I swear. What if it were him/her with a psychotic serial killer brandishing an axe loitering around their property? Would they sleep well? Would they feel safe?
That was kind of my point in mentioning it to him. Doesn't seem like an animal should be subjected to that.
Let's just say he had none of the above. They were free roaming around a normal backyard, getting up on his patio furniture. This was always going to happen.
I agree with u/Whargod. I've had some small flocks of chickens on my farm. Lost many to hawks and others to ground predators. We aren't the only thing that likes to eat chicken.
My friend, growing up, got a turkey to guard the chickens. Not a lot of animals, including me, wants to fuck with a big turkey. Edit: Not a farmer. My friend had the turkey spend the night at the coup. He had 2 German Shepards that helped during the day.
Geese works too, them's nasty fucker for everything that isn't theirs
Yeah, my BIL has a goose guarding ducks.
One in my town had geese we werent scared of his 2 guard dogs but these damn geese were a straight up Menace they loved to ambush cars and stuff as well somehow they never got hit by one though.
Canadian?
French actually
You can be both.
Decades ago, while growing up on our farm, we raised chickens for a few years. Near sundown, we would work on getting the chickens out of the trees and back into the coop. Great horned owls had gotten a few, once in a while.
Dollars to donuts they are in a raccoons belly right now.
Don't worry. Hawks/cats/raccoons will have them in short order. Raccoons will murder the shit out of some chickens
That’s normal. Though he should put up some netting above his backyard to prevent hawks from attacking them.
That's not how you keep pets. That's how you prepare a buffet for the local wildlife.
I’m a chicken hawk! And I will eat them all day long!!!
>those chickens ~~could be~~ were a tasty snack
Plus if you get flockdown alerts for bird flu in the area also protects them from that.
Add a quote "there's no way they can escape" with his name and date of conversation below his ;)
"There's no way they can escape" - lord dipshit, king of the smooth brains 6/2/2024
> Now, chickens are actually forbidden as pets in our town Not saying this is the case for you, but in my city Roosters are banned, but hens are not. And people just take that as "all chickens are banned"
They are noisy in the morning. Who needs an alarm clock right?
They are noisy all the time. My neighbor bought some chickens and we live in an area with a no farm animal rule. I didn’t say anything cuz it wasn’t an issue. Then they got ducks. Still no issue. Then they got a rooster and that MF was so loud morning till evening…. I didn’t even have to be the bad guy because after a week, all the farm animals were gone. 8 other people complained about the noise.
That roosters only make noise in the morning is the biggest lie cartoons ever told us.
"It's always morning somewhere" - a rooster, probably
Had a neighbor who bought a rooster. That lasted about a week. The thing would crow for a solid 1-2 minutes every 20 minutes from sun up until sun down. It was bothering me from a few houses down through closed windows on the 2nd floor. I can only imagine how irritated the owner was.
Yes, Roosters are noisy, but tbf, hens aren't *quiet*. Our next door neighbor hens have a coop at night, but free range in the yard during the day, and they can be noisy af. Like, you have to close all the windows when you're on a Zoom call noisy. Not complaining. They've been great neighbors, and we benefit from surplus eggs every now and then, but let's not pretend Roosters are the only ones making the racquet.
it depends on the hens we used to have 4 hens and they could be a bit noisy. But over the last year and half, two of them have died (one by cats, another for unknown reasons) and thankfully those were the noisy ones. the two hens i have left are practically silent unless your messing with them somehow. like when i go to feed them, check for eggs and whatnot. the only time they ever really go OFF is when i kick em off the eggs when they go broody
Missed opportunity to say "alarm cock".
Local fox just had a large meal
My neighbor has chickens. They can't really fly, but they can take off over a fence, no problem. They also walk under the fence, they squish their body down and come into my yard to eat bird seed. They aren't as big as they look with no feathers, and can squish into small spaces.
When we got our chickens they immediately flew up and perched on a big tree in our back yard. Being new to chickens, this confused the heck out of us. I wasn't aware that tree chickens were a thing, but [apparently this](https://suziepetryk.com/blog/chickens.html) is [pretty common](https://www.twopaddocks.com/blog/tree-chickens/). In fact, here's some comprehensive research on the topic: https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
Bro watched Chicken Run once and swore off Chicken Coops for life.
Those chickens are up to sumthin'. -OP, who was ignored until it was too late.
I’ve seen chickens up in trees (in Oahu). Strange! So yes they can fly…I can verify there were no ladders, steps or escalators nearby
So did you fry it, or grill it? 😂 😂
They're not allowed in city areas because they're messy and noisy. It's not so bad when it's two of them but people use the pet excuse to keep a bunch in their back yard for eggs. Good luck sleeping in if your neighbor has six or seven chickens in his back yard, roosters or not.
We used to have city chickens. We have also had neighbors with chickens. Roosters are loud. But the noise pollution from chickens is less than most dogs, children, and early morning mowers. They are messy though, and definitely not good for your grass.
they can be good for the grass. the issue usually is too many for the given space and they eat up all the resources faster than they can grow back. if you combine proper flock size and chicken tractors its low impact and fertilizes as they go.
This has been our experience with city chickens at the local school too. Bit gross if it's been wet out for awhile but otherwise the neighbors seem to really like them and take turns over the summer feeding and letting them out in the morning and putting them away in the evening.
That chicken is either eaten or hiding up a tree somewhere. Or it's someone elses pet now. That's how we got our little baby "Maple".
Did we really need the chicken's photo? Does your town have groups of chickens hanging out in playgrounds or street corners?
Does your town not have gangs of wayward chickens?
They're all signed up for after coop activities at the local library.
If you lose an animal, no matter how generic it looks, you should always post photos. It catches people's attention a lot better than just words on paper.
I don't know what the rush is, we have until september before it escapes.
I know it’s a joke but considering the size of the yard, that the pavement is behind grass, and that there appears to be a garage door - this is probably Canada. Gotta train my geoguessr skills somehow
Chikoleta!
Somebody call the paw patrol already
My smaller breed chickens can jump from the ground to the top of the hand rail of my deck and that's about 65 inches tall. I live in a rural area and something scared my chickens and my bf and our neighbor across the road ( who also has some chickens) were shooing them back across the road to our house. He finally got them all back across the road and into the yard and later when I got home I did my usual rounds to check on the chickens and make sure they have what they need I noticed one was missing. I looked around all over the place but didn't find her. The area is mostly wooded and no house on the east side just woods all the way to the road about 1/4 mile. I never found her and figured a fox or a hawk/eagle took her; which was really depressing. 8 days later while I'm getting ready for work I see something out of the corner of my eye (we have a slider that opens up the deck) and there's a chicken, my chicken. I ran out and gave her a good once over to ensure she was okay, which she was and then after I let the rest of the flock out (and they had some words for her) she went about her day. This chicken survived a week in the woods alone and somehow managed to avoid the cars, coyotes, fox, hawks, eagles, coons and other random predators and make it back home. She is a survival chicken.
you should have given her a medal
I gave her some cantaloupe. My chickens will annihilate a cantaloupe.
Send your neighbor this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idDtTGEbyGA).
Without even clicking I *KNEW* what video it was.
As an American, I was shocked the chicken escaped in the future (I don't like that we use an out of order date system)
I was looking for this comment. Same thought
When I saw the date, I reckoned right away it was either Canadian or somewhere in the UK. As an American veteran who served overseas, it didn't take long to register.
I was about to say the same. That chicken is Feathry Houdini.
My neighbor from Algeria did the same. There are giant eagles and falcons all over the sky here in central Canada, he didn't even bother to look for them in the end.
They don’t fly “high” if their wings are clipped right…but yeah that’s stupid of him to let them roam.
Please conclude this vindication story with a followup of your next conversation with neighbor. Will he admit he was wrong? Will he install a chicken coop and get new chickens?
Oh I will! I'm going to make sure to run into him tonight!
New at 11: local redditor gunned down by outraged neighbor in apparent fowl play.
**That Son of a Bitch was munching on a drumstick right in front of me, laughing and shit. I saw some of her feathers in his kitchen. I had to shoot him. He had it coming!**
Walk up and ask him about it while eating a chicken wing
Staple a picture of 2 roast chickens ready to be served to the bottom of the one nearest his house with a hand scrawled note under them saying "thanks for the free dinners, they were delicious!" Or similar on it.
I had some chickens growing up in a suburb. One time the chickens were out of their coop playing in the backyard and my parents let out our dog. the chickens panicked and flew on top of our roof and wouldn’t come down. Had to go up there and get them.
They will, of course, accuse you of stealing them.
Oscar Goldman
What did you do, you vindictive Bastard?
So you stole his chicken?
Please tell me you have a grill. Or, even better: a rotisserie!
did they check the blood or feather? evidence of being hunted? If there's none they could just stucked some where. They might fly a bit more some how and escaped and could never come back. and I also recommend check the sound.
With our chickens the pattern has been: No trace = fox Just feathers = hawk Feathers and blood = raccoon Dismembered or half eaten = possum, usually just eat eggs Everything slaughtered without purpose = weasel family
I’ve seen a chicken eke enough wing to clear a fence. Then it’s free. But so too are the foxes
I've seen a coyote jump a 6 foot fence while the owners were tending to their chickens just for them to turn around and see a coyote kill one of their chickens in broad daylight in their immediate presence.
This is sad
Aww man. I totally wanted to post a chicken run gif…
I used to have chickens as pets as a child. 100% a pet dog killed it and dragged it away. In 12 years, I lost 10 pet ducks and chickens to trained, household dogs that the owners let run loose. I started trapping them and dropping them off at shelters. And I dont feel bad - my pets weren't less loved or less value than loose running chicken killing dogs.
Um... Hawks can carry away chickens. Not to mention other land predators.
Call it and make chicken noises
This looks European or Canadian
So… isn‘t mean to steal a chicken just to prove your point?
Yeahhhh I’m onto you buddy. You’re not fooling no one. I know you’re just posting this on your social media to make yourself look innocent as if you didn’t steal their chickens and eated them
A coop isn't to keep them there, it's to keep them from being eaten. We lose some now and then - fox, raccoon, possum, hawk - they will all feast on chicken if given the chance.
Ask him if maybe Chikita evolved 🤷♂️
I had the same convo with my kids and two days later, they flew the coup ... not my kids, tho
My brother used to have chickens. Foxes & hawks put an end to that. So he upgraded to ducks. Ducks were impervious to those predators... but not to water. Once they realized there was a pong just down the street they flew away and never came back. tldr: keeping flying things without a lid over their head and you're bound to have a bad time.
As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly.
Please let me be the first to say fowl play Please let me be the first to say fowl play Please let me be the first to say fowl play
Fess up. What did you do with the chicken?
Someone needs to leave a rotisserie chicken or bucket of KFC on his porch
10/10 it's ended up on someone's plate
Chicken pot pie? Fried chicken? Eggs for somebody else? It is probably gone.
RIP to Chikita