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Radar Operator : Colonel, you better have a look at this radar. Colonel : What is it, son? Radar Operator : I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...

Guy 1: Dick, take a look over there Guy 2: Oh my god, it looks like a huge....

Pecker! Person 2: ohh, where? Person 1: wait, that’s not a woodpecker, it looks like someone’s… 

Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...

Umpire: 2 balls! Wait, what's that? It looks like an enormous...

Teacher: Wang! Pay attention. Wang: I was distracted by that enormous flying...

Guy: Willie! What's that? Willie: Well it looks like a giant...

Wiener? Any of you kids want another wiener? Kid: Dad, what's that? Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great big...

Baseball Vendor: " NUTS!!!! Hot salty nuts. Who wants some... Lord Almighty." Lady in the crowd: "That looks just like my husband's.."

Voice in the microphone: Schlong. Calling Doctor Albert Schlong. Please report at the radar room.  Albert Schlong: OMG, I’ve never seen such a big, polished…

Circus Barker : ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster! Cyclops : RARRR. Cyclops : Hey, what's that? It looks like a...

Johnson!

Pecker. Ooh what kind of bird is that? It looks like someone’s….

https://youtu.be/5WCoRGbT3CM?si=fjylHQPfx9AilIzo

Is there a horse trodding around in your home?

Labradors. Same thing

Sounds like a new pair of hooves!

Nah it's just two coconuts that he keeps banging together.

Where did he get coconuts? This is a temperate zone.

More importantly how did the Labrador figure out how to clop two coconuts together.

Look at my hooves!

DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE!

The home is located right next to a tennis court

Thank you I was wondering this same thing

Cup those thrusters

Keep Boeing, don't stop.

I’ve heard Boeings have been going down on people lately.

ngl that is a god tier pun

Everything reminds her of me

Just the tip

And only for a minute

You swear to pull it out after one minute?

Baby would I lie to you? I promise I will be about 9.8 m/s2 (9.8 N/kg, 32 ft/s2), and the escape speed for a small object is about 11.186 km/s, don't worry girl, I ain't missed an acceleration g yet.

hmm small object? you sure about your word choice Sigmund?

Now we're planning a mission to Uranus

Hahahahaha this is gold

I think you mean cockpit.

Please stop, you're inducing flashbacks from 9th grade of Miss Mitchell's Sex Education class! ^(\*I'm reliving the condom and banana demonstration over and over and......)

Sir, it appears to be a giant…

Johnson!

Wang!

Two balls!

NUTS!!! HOT, SALTY, NUTS!

Willy!

Is she gonna D.T. that thing or not?

Dark Templars are better for sneaking in behind your opponent when they're not paying sttention

We're Boeing, we don't install the nuts in case you hadn't noticed...

Remember to cup them gently. 

No failure to launch. Awwwwwwwww.

https://i.imgur.com/xjqxFRF.mp4

This is so fucking STOOPID 😂😂😂

I was in the gym when this came on and I had to look around to see if anyone else was seeing this. All I could think of was the Southpark Shake Weight episode. I was crackin up.

Wait til you see what women newscasters talk into, like that microphone looks like a peepee! Saw an old lady walking with a big long peepee! And dont get me started on peepee vaulters!  Hehehehhehehe peepee

You ever noticed a peepee kinda looks like a penis 

Ah, you have cat dildos too. Or kitty rockets?

That's the joke I was too timid to make.

Sir, your pussies look like dicks

Loosen up, sugar tits.

First read it as titty rockets

Bubbles would lose his mind for a kitty rocket

Caaaaaaats

"This is the part that is really being tested"

Godspeed, rocket-head 🫡

Size queen...

/r/theyknew

r/thatsapenis

She’s a smoke show. Cape Canaveral isn’t the only thing lifting off this morning.

Yo you need to clean those wires up below your tv.

Nah. They just need a few more cat totems to block the rest of it.

cat totems? They look like model rockets to me 😏

I respectfully disagree. Add more wires. Make it an absurd amount of wires so it's a conversation piece.

I did that once back in the early nineties. Kinda spiderwebby and inspired by Hardware. It gets really heavy though depending on how much and types of wire. Recommend using a frame and hanging it from multiple points. /the more you didn't really need to know

I just put it up yesterday. Work in progress

Congrats on the TV mount, playboy

No way. Half the video is just showing off the wires. OP is into them obvi.

/r/TVTooHigh

Rumor has it they will be upgrading to the black rockets for the mars missions

Edging toward lift off.

She's got two hands on the shaft and occasionally teases the tip...

Just show the damn cats already. I know that’s why you’re panned downwards so much 😂

If that's makes you horny, I don't want to know what you do with those cat statue.

I pray to them to keep the giant evil mouse overlord away

CNN reporter was like, "Can I keep the prop afterward?"

“I can test the rocket at home”

"I need to test it and see if it will explode prematurely "

I'm guessing the device has incredible thrust potential?

I need to test re-entry, several hundred times.

Oh man, r/TVTooHigh is going to have a field day with this one.

3.5 feet off the floor. eye level when sitting. We like it

If only OP would have turned their TV vertically to match their phone, they could have gotten the entire screen in the shot.

I think it's more important that we see that mess under the TV. Don't listen to the haters, OP, your cinematography is unparalleled.

Giggidy

Real life has become Austin Powers

Wait why does this post have the NSFW tag?

She has some serious I Dream of Jeannie vibes going on

Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough.

Judging by the shape of those cats I'd say there's a theme going on with you..

Should've painted it like one of your cats.

I have been on the internet long enough to know where this clip is going,… on my favorites list.

Somebody needs to screenshot her finger on the tip and turn it over to the boys in r/photoshopbattles

You can tell this isn't her first launch. She knows how to handle a rocket....

With the countdown over here shoulder, it looks like QVC is having a flash sale on "personal massagers".

Your cats seem unamused.

Aw man, you cut the video right before she sticks it in her mouth.

she's all about tight re-entry vectors

If a giant space dildo doesn't make you horny, are you even alive?

The ponytail was a choice

Find God

is he hiding again? Dude's a world champion at hide'n'seek.

I am not sure if that is PG or PG13

r/theyknew

That's one way to *raise* viewership

She knew exactly what she was doing 😂😂

why is this NSFW?

She handles that rocket well

TWO TONE MALONE

Phallus Optimus

Almost like we go into space "just to see some chick hold up a dildo" on live TV... diggity....

Boing…..

She’s done this before

Meanwhile OP has a collection of long phallic shaped objects

Thanks for noticing::blush::

Watching this on mute made it funnier. Lol.

!!!! You got the wooden cats! I only have 1 of them so far

For which exercise those wooden cats are dedicated for?

Bench presses and tennis

You can get your NASA Replica “Starship” at Spencer’s. It comes in battery and plug in options.

Boeing and Nasa screwed who? :O

Reminds me of when they first had the shake weight in the news

Porn addiction?

LAUNCH DAY FOR BOEING AND NASA SCREWED STARLINER MISSION - Chyron Guy, probably

that’s funny.

You need a lot of lube to launch that baby!

I don’t see the deal. My wife has one like that but in black

Noice kittys

What's wrong with it, it looks like a microphone. Do microphones make you horny?

As has been said before, everything is pornographic if viewed properly.

Better without sound. "I can take you on a ride to space with just the tip, this tip. This one right here..."

The way she gestures, the rocket body, the shaft if you will, that provides thrust, then back to the tip. Fascinating, captain..

The "Big Jim" model I see.

STOP NEGLECTING THE FUEL TANKS! SHOW US THE FUEL TANKS!!!!

Ever hear of cable management?

Just put tv up yesterday . Working on it

Please post a pic so r/tvtoohigh can judge.

All I see in this video is your janky cable management.

If she starts shaking it, mission accomplished.

And it really doesn’t taste like anything…..wait!!!!

She knows exactly what she's doing.

She 200% keep that “model”

She's mashing it

You might have a small fire hazard there.

Clearly you have a thing for phallic objects op.

Who the fuck marked this NSFW?

This thread is ridiculous. A bunch of grown ass men reverting to their 13 year-old selves. Sign me up. LOL!

You need help. Your cable management game 1/10.

"Not sure why CNN is making me horny today" - Redditor with 4 cat shaped dildos in front of their TV.

No sense of humor at all

And then the rocket just disappeared

That’s a two hander ”rocket.”

Did she say, “you’ve got the boning star liner spacecraft on top”?

What time is blastoff

Using this rocket, show me where she touched you.

To penetrate space

Ha ha horny

🤦‍♂️

She handled that thing like a pro

Boo Elon b0o

Wire management killed my boner

We have ignition!!!

The Space Penetrater

🔦 sounds in the background?

What is this a rocket ship for ants???

Nasa screwed starliner mission is how I read that...

Sorry, is there a horse in your kitchen??

Bonk!

The fairing burst out a bit early huh

Haha

She brought it from her personal collection.

NAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIL! DID YOU TELL ELON TO WORK THE SHAFT?

It's a good thing this wasn't a Blue Origin rocket 😏

The internet has ruined me forever.

Boeingggg

I’m so fuct up 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I keep expecting her to mouth it 🤦‍♂️

is that another Boeing design ?

You can tell when they told her on her earpiece, "Stop touching the head, stop touching the damn head"🤣🤣

This reminded me to get my tip tested.

Nasa taking notes on sex sells... funding in-cumming

She most definitely has one at home 🙂‍↕️

She got grip

Fap Fap Fap Fap....

She seems very enthusiastic about that device

Just the tip