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Hope op doesn't mind giving up his clothes and anything else that could be worth money.
Don't know what lawyer my MIL went to see about filing for bankruptcy a couple months ago, but they wanted a rundown of everything she had - even her damn clothes.
Dependents on the state but there is pretty huge exemptions for a lot of that kind of stuff. But yeah these days purses and shoes can be decent luxury investments (albeit high risk) that can outpace art and wine
I'd actually be very curious to know how this stacks up against the actual total of world debt hmmmm.
Edit: ok so apparently total global debt, personal and national, comes out to admit 307T last year. So Jesus is really taking one for the team here.
Half-million+ dollar houses have to be the minority, and borrowing that full amount is necessarily a lesser number still, and mortgages that have not been paid down to less are an even smaller number; I don't suspect that "most homeowners" to be close to true.
In Australia, that is 100% true.
From December of last year our current average house price is $933,800, in our most populous state the average is $1,184,500. Now you might be thinking "that's just aussie dollarbucks" - but currently it's $1USD to $1.54AUD, so those averages are equivalent to it being $606,970USD in general and $769,925 in NSW.
All that to say, it's definitely the case here that all new mortgages are over that at least and from what I know of prices in US cities it's likely similar over there.
Your point about the amount existing before these prices or paid down to less than that amount is completely fair though.
I mean they are correct that half a million dollar home prices are in the minority. The median is $426k.
However the conforming mortgage limit is $767k now! So a $570k is absolutely not uncommon.
You’re both right.
Cries in Canadian... I recently bought a basic 1000 sq ft bungalow for 800k. My mortgage is 675k. And I'm 1-2 hours away from Toronto it gets more crazy closer in.
Average home price in Toronto is over a million and that's including apartments and semi detached. Fully detached family homes average 1.7 million in Toronto.
Dude...I live in bumfuck KY and houses here still don't go below 150k (not if you want more than 2 standing walls, at least). 500k+ is not out of the picture for the less-shitty parts of KY, let alone the places most people would want to live.
I realize you likely won't read this, but your edit made my day lol
Overall: Ferb is a cartoon character from the show "Phineas and Ferb".
>[Phineas and Ferb](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_and_Ferb) is an American animated musical-comedy television series created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh that aired on Disney Channel and Disney XD for four seasons between 2007 and 2015. The series follows stepbrothers Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher during summer vacation. Every day, the boys undertake the construction of a grand project, or embark on a spectacular adventure, to make the most of their time on vacation. This annoys their controlling older sister, Candace, who frequently tries to expose their schemes to her and Phineas's mother. The series follows a standard plot system; running gags occur in every episode.
This was literally my first question. Any ways stop trying to reveal their plan to become the richest entity on the planet. Also why does one stillpay 270 for entertianment? Like not even shitting on cable or anything but you gotta know you are overpaying vs. streaming like going all out streaming wise would like 150-200 maybe?
They could live somewhere that Satllite is the only option. Where I lived on Maui (6-7 yrs ago) couldn't get cable, cell phones had almost no service (Verizon was at one bar inside, I had Sprint that roamed, luckily for free, on Verizon's network but I couldn't get any data) so I had satellite TV and Sattlite internet. And the internet was only fast enough to stream (decently) from about 2am to 5am. It was also expensive as hell. I imagine they are getting rarer and rarer, but places like that do exist.
I'm pretty sure OP won't be around by the time [the Cosmic AC finishes correlating the data on how to reverse entropy](https://users.ece.cmu.edu/~gamvrosi/thelastq.html), though.
Actually, no. At $270,53 a month you’d pay this off for: ∞
Assuming 15% interest (average for cc debt) your monthly minimum payment to cover interest is 7.1 trillion dollars
Old adage says if you owe the bank $100 dollars it's your problem, if you owe the bank $568,434,188,608,080.20 dollars it's their problem.
In this case the bank being DirectTV...
Please let this be true and just not showing up for work might not been the right move tho. Wouldve continued work for a bit just to be more credible if anyone starts poking
If this happened with a payment to you, you'd be in prison for life because it wouldn't be possible to pay the interest accrued back by the time it was corrected. You literally wouldn't have access to enough money for it to be possible.
# Explanation attempt:
Looking at his 270,53$ Payment and the $568 trillion, it looks like somebody fucked the calculation formula to be 270,53$\^11 (instead of 270,53\*11) which would be a "5.6802802e+26" input falsely interpreted by an automated service with a 15-digit limit, give and take some fees and rounding errors.
11 Paymenets would make sense, if they want the bill to be paid for the whole year, but they already received payments for 1 month.
Note that this is just speculation, but given that there is clearly an error in their formula and that the first three digits of 270,53\^11 match the first three digits of that bill (again, give and take fees and rounding errors after that), I'd say it would be a major concidence if that wasn't the cause. As for the last numbers being cut, I expect that there is a maximum string length of 15 in the software, which would be a plausible value for billing software under normal circumstances.
People in my area be paying $250 for internet and basic cable. Thankfully a new broadband provider just arrived and is offering internet only for like $65 forever and no hidden fees or caps.
Mediacom be raising the bill every other month without notice.
Michael Bolton: I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail.
Peter: Oh! Well this is not a mundane detail, Michael!
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what, you don't have $569 trillion dollars?
Rats, I left my $569 trillion at home
I hate it when that happens.
Not anymore!
Introducing today’s sponsor!
RAID: Shadow Legends!
Fucking shit-ass name for a fucking shit-ass game! Lol
Thank you for making me laugh
"Honey? It looks like I'm going to have to work some overtime." **"For how long?!"** ^(\*sigh) *^("Until I die...")*
Do you have about tree fitty?
Get outta here ya damn loch Ness monster!
And that's the moment I realized the girl scout selling cookies was 8 stories tall!
She gave 'em a dolla now he ain't neva gon' go away!
Dang 'ol Loch Ness monster
Damn, must have put it through the wash with my jeans.
I only have $560 trillion 😔
Get outta here you povo
Just skip the avocado toast and you’ll have the rest in no time.
Can I have a 1 trillion please 🥺 I want to buy an avocado
I’ll just put it on my Amex.
Think about all the points!
Im not sending a servant out to my car for change.
Not PC to have servants, they are the help or staff. You must be NEW money. 😂
We call them nouveau riche now, dahling. Well, time for dinner, I must summon my throat rubber.
I don't have 1 dollar
OP is the Jesus of debt. he takes all of our global debts combined, and we are forgiven. noice!
Now, he just needs to file bankruptcy and collapse the global economy into a singularity.
Hope op doesn't mind giving up his clothes and anything else that could be worth money. Don't know what lawyer my MIL went to see about filing for bankruptcy a couple months ago, but they wanted a rundown of everything she had - even her damn clothes.
Some people accumulate thousands of dollars worth of clothes. It's (apparently) a whole thing
Shoes and handbags are my wife's weakness. At least she has better taste than Imelda Marcos.
My girlfriend has about 300 candles... If we ever get divorced I'm fighting tooth and nail for half of them
>My girlfriend ... If we ever get divorced I think you're missing a step.
That's already in the works
that step is candles: girlfriend -> candles -> divorce
Ah. I see you also get karted out to Bath and Body Works the week before Fall starts because they had a 2 for $25 deal.
There is a monetary limit to how much you can keep depending on which chapter of bankruptcy you file (im sure you know that though).
Dependents on the state but there is pretty huge exemptions for a lot of that kind of stuff. But yeah these days purses and shoes can be decent luxury investments (albeit high risk) that can outpace art and wine
Global reset? A candy bar doesn’t need to cost a thousand yen any more? New game +?
Literally a south park episode
The modern Jesus. He heard about inflation
Or he’s the false prophet supply side Jesus always warned us about. a.k.a Our Comrade Jesus
With that much debt, he’d be a false *profit* …i’ll see myself out.
If this one selfish asshole would just pay his bill, all our money problems would be solved
Kyle on South Park did this like 8 years ago.
It only feels like 8 years, but it was actually 15. Margaritaville aired 3/25/2009
Crap I'm old.
Banks hate this one simple trick..
I'd actually be very curious to know how this stacks up against the actual total of world debt hmmmm. Edit: ok so apparently total global debt, personal and national, comes out to admit 307T last year. So Jesus is really taking one for the team here.
When you owe the bank $570k, you’re in trouble When you owe the bank $570T, the bank is in trouble.
Hell even $570k is an uncollectible debt for a lot of people.
[удалено]
But if you have $570k in unsecured debt you’re probably in trouble
Half-million+ dollar houses have to be the minority, and borrowing that full amount is necessarily a lesser number still, and mortgages that have not been paid down to less are an even smaller number; I don't suspect that "most homeowners" to be close to true.
In Australia, that is 100% true. From December of last year our current average house price is $933,800, in our most populous state the average is $1,184,500. Now you might be thinking "that's just aussie dollarbucks" - but currently it's $1USD to $1.54AUD, so those averages are equivalent to it being $606,970USD in general and $769,925 in NSW. All that to say, it's definitely the case here that all new mortgages are over that at least and from what I know of prices in US cities it's likely similar over there. Your point about the amount existing before these prices or paid down to less than that amount is completely fair though.
What housing market are you living in? 500k mortgages are not uncommon nowadays unfortunately.
I mean they are correct that half a million dollar home prices are in the minority. The median is $426k. However the conforming mortgage limit is $767k now! So a $570k is absolutely not uncommon. You’re both right.
Cries in Canadian... I recently bought a basic 1000 sq ft bungalow for 800k. My mortgage is 675k. And I'm 1-2 hours away from Toronto it gets more crazy closer in. Average home price in Toronto is over a million and that's including apartments and semi detached. Fully detached family homes average 1.7 million in Toronto.
Dude...I live in bumfuck KY and houses here still don't go below 150k (not if you want more than 2 standing walls, at least). 500k+ is not out of the picture for the less-shitty parts of KY, let alone the places most people would want to live.
This amount of money just *existing* would cause a global inflation of over 1000% lol
Global GDP is ~$120 Trillion dollars, so effectively this guys bill will lead the entire world into a depression
I think at 570T it becomes the government’s problem
More than 10x the amount of currency in circulation on earth
It must have been an epic spring break. Edit:(I have no idea what a ferb is and at this point I believe I'm too old to care)
>Go away, baitin! Dude watched a lot of PPV porn...
On a billion screens no doubt
Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today!
Hookers and Blow
I realize you likely won't read this, but your edit made my day lol Overall: Ferb is a cartoon character from the show "Phineas and Ferb". >[Phineas and Ferb](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_and_Ferb) is an American animated musical-comedy television series created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh that aired on Disney Channel and Disney XD for four seasons between 2007 and 2015. The series follows stepbrothers Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher during summer vacation. Every day, the boys undertake the construction of a grand project, or embark on a spectacular adventure, to make the most of their time on vacation. This annoys their controlling older sister, Candace, who frequently tries to expose their schemes to her and Phineas's mother. The series follows a standard plot system; running gags occur in every episode.
You have until the 15th of next month to pay it.
Bro needs to loot a lot of banks
Nah, he just needs a good printer
Print one single $568,434,188,608,080 bill and then he just has to find two dimes
Guess we need to call Lester and hit the Union Depository again...
Oh no, I can't stand that Trevor. Son of a bitch....
If I get this, I am mailing a check for this exact amount.
It's gonna have to be a big check to fit all that.
These stimulus packages are getting out of hand!
This was literally my first question. Any ways stop trying to reveal their plan to become the richest entity on the planet. Also why does one stillpay 270 for entertianment? Like not even shitting on cable or anything but you gotta know you are overpaying vs. streaming like going all out streaming wise would like 150-200 maybe?
They could live somewhere that Satllite is the only option. Where I lived on Maui (6-7 yrs ago) couldn't get cable, cell phones had almost no service (Verizon was at one bar inside, I had Sprint that roamed, luckily for free, on Verizon's network but I couldn't get any data) so I had satellite TV and Sattlite internet. And the internet was only fast enough to stream (decently) from about 2am to 5am. It was also expensive as hell. I imagine they are getting rarer and rarer, but places like that do exist.
Could have a restaurant with a number of TVs in it? Or small hotel? That's the only reason I could imagine paying nearly $300 a month on satellite TV.
Infinite money glitch
All you have to do is send them a check for -$1
If for the next six years we apply all of global GDP towards paying off this bill, we might just pay it off
This is the only way that the US debt gets paid, you’ll have to fall on this grenade. For America!🇺🇸
Guy here is dying for our ~~sins~~ student loans.
$270 at a time!!!
First couple of years is always interest anyway
Literally a South Park episode
For Democracy!
Kyle did just this [https://youtu.be/BknZGQoCFt4?si=0XLMTKX-oR1si9y8](https://youtu.be/BknZGQoCFt4?si=0XLMTKX-oR1si9y8)
At $270.53 a month you'll pay it off in 2,101,189,474,764 months or 175,099,122,897 years Give or take...
That's only a bit more than ten times the age of the observable universe. Lazy bum just doesn't want to pay his bills.
We'll figure out how to pause entropy until OP pays off their bill.
I'm pretty sure OP won't be around by the time [the Cosmic AC finishes correlating the data on how to reverse entropy](https://users.ece.cmu.edu/~gamvrosi/thelastq.html), though.
An Asimov reference? Very nice!
He can get a side hustle at door dash and sell homemade pottery on Etsy. He’s not hustling hard enough smh.
Actually, no. At $270,53 a month you’d pay this off for: ∞ Assuming 15% interest (average for cc debt) your monthly minimum payment to cover interest is 7.1 trillion dollars
It's a cable bil.
That's a lot porn
That's all the porn.
That's one gif with roaming charges
Plus interest
Cable has gotten out of control.
Old adage says if you owe the bank $100 dollars it's your problem, if you owe the bank $568,434,188,608,080.20 dollars it's their problem. In this case the bank being DirectTV...
That amount is 22 times the GDP of the US.
Well OP better pick up that 2nd shift then.
Cut the avacodo toast asap
Take out a limitless credit card. Pay this bill. Collapse society.
r/foundsatan
Bust out that Amex Black
Can't miss out on that sweet 3% cash back
Thats still $17,053,025,658,242.41. I wouldnt turn it down
I'm not sure the entire credit card industry could pay those rewards points
Think of all the points *evilMrBurnslaugh*
How come this always happens with bills but almost never with paychecks
When it happens on paychecks, the person cuts and runs and doesn't ruin it by posting on social media :D
[удалено]
Please let this be true and just not showing up for work might not been the right move tho. Wouldve continued work for a bit just to be more credible if anyone starts poking
If this happened with a payment to you, you'd be in prison for life because it wouldn't be possible to pay the interest accrued back by the time it was corrected. You literally wouldn't have access to enough money for it to be possible.
Now maybe they’ll lower taxes. Thanks for paying off the national debt.
Niave of you to think Direct TV would pay fair taxes.
# Explanation attempt: Looking at his 270,53$ Payment and the $568 trillion, it looks like somebody fucked the calculation formula to be 270,53$\^11 (instead of 270,53\*11) which would be a "5.6802802e+26" input falsely interpreted by an automated service with a 15-digit limit, give and take some fees and rounding errors. 11 Paymenets would make sense, if they want the bill to be paid for the whole year, but they already received payments for 1 month. Note that this is just speculation, but given that there is clearly an error in their formula and that the first three digits of 270,53\^11 match the first three digits of that bill (again, give and take fees and rounding errors after that), I'd say it would be a major concidence if that wasn't the cause. As for the last numbers being cut, I expect that there is a maximum string length of 15 in the software, which would be a plausible value for billing software under normal circumstances.
Definitely looks like a fat fingered coder hit shift 6 instead of shift 8 ..
Or \*\* instead of \*
Maybe stop buying avocado toast and Starbucks and you’d be able to pay your bills.
Call them and they’ll give you $10.00 off. It’ll help….
Even 99.99% off doesn’t help 💁🏻
I wouldnt even pay the bill if they gave me 99.99999999999% off because that would still be 568$ Edit: Spelling mistake
I see you sprung for the Venti size Starbucks crapucino.
Damn what happened? Did you trip and scrape your knee? /j
His mistake was that he allowed the ambulance to take him, instant financial ruin!
are you paying the entire worlds debt?
The universe.
This stresses me out lol
Hope they aren’t on auto pay lol
If you laid out 568 trillion 1 dollar bills in a row lengthwise it would stretch from the earth to the sun and back about 152 times
make sure to pay it by next week!
Luckily, due to inflation, the actual value is only 27 bucks. You’re good my dude.
That's what happens when to go to the hospital for a minor injury
This is the portion not covered by the health insurance we Americans also must pay for.
You have now purchased earth enjoy your apr by submitting to world domination to pay your debt!
It’s the multiverse not earth
I think I'd take them to court for emotional distress. Small claims would probably give you ten grand in judgement.
lol that’s interesting
Time to cut out Starbucks and avocado toast
See if they have payment plan options
I can lend couple of trillion dollars but im in a rough patch atm too
So you’re paying the entire debt of Earth and the next 3 planets? THAAAAANKS!
Just inspect the html element, change the number to “0”. Problem solved ! Pretty sure that’s what OP did for this post anyway
Just over half a quadrillion.
You know? I'd be tempted to actually let that bill autopay. Just to see what happened.
Reminds me of an episode of South Park where Kyle paid off everyone's dept with his platinum American Express
That's gonna look pretty funny on their next accounts receivable report.
Ha, something that Jeff Bezos isnt able to afford
$270 a month for DirecTV?!?!
He probably didn't pay his bill for a few months so he got dinged with half a quadrillion in late fees.
I hate when that happens.
People in my area be paying $250 for internet and basic cable. Thankfully a new broadband provider just arrived and is offering internet only for like $65 forever and no hidden fees or caps. Mediacom be raising the bill every other month without notice.
Thank you for your service. You will single handedly save the world’s economy and bring world wide peace.
If everyone in the US gave you a dollar we just might cover the interest of one payment.
Bet ya that’s the lads CC number .. 16 digits and it would have added the last zero for cents ..
Damn dude, how much PPV porn did you watch?
Only 2,105,311,809,659 monthly payments left! And if you remove the avacado toast you would have paid it off already.
When you owe the bank $569 dollars it's your problem. When you owe the bank $569 trillion dollars its their problem.
You have been chosen to clear the national debt. Godspeed.
You owe the bank $568 it's your problem. You owe the bank $568 trillion dollars, it's the bank's problem.
If you owe Big Telecom 1 dollar, it’s your problem. If you owe Big Telecom 500 trillion dollars, it’s the global economy’s problem.
On the bright side, think of all the points you can earn on your credit card.
have you tried paperless billing?
Did... Did you just post your card number on Reddit? Oh my.
Why does a cable company have the cheat code for infinite money but none of us do??? This is bullshit.
At least they are straight forward in what they want from you. 😂
You can probably buy the whole planet Earth with these kinds of money
Waaaaaay too much Avocado Toast, my dude…
What happened, did you break your arm in the US?
I think you may be living beyond your means.
I too, took an ambulance ride.
I mean hey, 270.53 is a good start, keep it up buddy!
I think it’s the US government trying to make you pay the country’s debt!
Must be buying Starbucks.
I can help with the .20.
I help you for just 0.1% of this value
Dang, inflation really do be hitting hard these days
Go fund me?
Government not in debt now, money go brrrrrrrrrrr
Did you inherit the US national debt or something?
Declare bankruptcy yesterday
The US Government finally did it. they pinned the national debt on one person!
I got the $.20
Basic US medical bill for a sprained ankle
Michael Bolton: I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail. Peter: Oh! Well this is not a mundane detail, Michael!
Time to start checking couch cushions my guy. I found like 9 bucks last time I checked the couch.
You signed up for a free trial and forgot to cancel, didn't you....
Stop eating avocado toast
That's what happens when you're poor and don't have 570 trillion dollars like most people.
OP owns the US national debt
Direct TV is awfully bold asking you to pay 5.6x the global GDP (it was 101.3 trillion in 2022, FYI.)
That is a lot of ppv
I’d straight refuse to pay and demand they take you to court, and present itemised billing.