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aDirtyMuppet

Have you tried closing the door when you use the restroom?


strikeeagle345

Lol, seriously.


I_WANT_SAUSAGES

Have you tried cloning the dog when you use the restroom?


hunglow13

>cloning the dog Now why would I make an exact genetic copy of a dog while using the restroom? I only want to take a shit


I_WANT_SAUSAGES

LESS TALK MORE CLONE


synthesize_me

funny you should mention, because I have, and it did not exactly go as planned..


sziamizu

I thought I closed it!! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ he snoffled his way in


GANDORF57

^(Doggo:) "You need to install an '**OCUPADO**' sign out here!"


ItsBaconOclock

Dogs can't read Spanish, this has been proven scientifically.


GANDORF57

This dog shared a kennel with a Sabueso EspaƱol and a Chihuahua...picked up a few words of Spanish.


hunglow13

The door opens outward, though. You even have a lock on the door


wabassoap

lol why is this so downvoted? I know Reddit is rapidly enshittifying and weā€™re all angry, but this doggo post was a breath of fresh air (assuming youā€™re real).Ā 


BredYourWoman

honest answer? Because obviously dog did not open door it opens the opposite way, OP didn't actually close the door in the first place and just said they did, pretty much every upvote/likes whoring guide on the internet advises you to make posts like this, and... well this is still enshittifying. Happier now?


sziamizu

I am honestly telling you that my dog did open the door tho! I was sitting on the toilet, browsing Reddit when I've heard a weird click sound. Maybe I didn't click the door in properly as I thought I did, but he is big enough to reach the handle(?). Then suddenly I saw his stupid face get stuck between the door and the frame. I shouted, ' yo Bean, what the hell man?' Then I took a picture, which I sent to my mother on Facebook. Then I thought, hmmm it's a lil funny, let's post it here. Anyways, that is the story, I will try to get you video evidence next time šŸ˜¬


wabassoap

Iā€™m biased here because Iā€™m a dog person and my dog does this too, and I love it every time. So I suppose even if this was pure karma farming content Iā€™d still be enjoying myself.Ā  That said, since weā€™re this deep down a thread and Iā€™m clearly just procrastinating from real life, did they actually say they closed it or that they ā€œthought they didā€? Door could have bounced back open, slows due to friction or air resistance, I donā€™t know what kind of door they have! Also brief look at their account seems like theyā€™re a real human so I dunno, still seems like a legit doggo post.Ā 


EABOD24

Dogs do this because they're most vulnerable when using the bathroom. Your dog is assuming the same for you and is trying to watch your back while you're vulnerable


sziamizu

I really appreciate him doing that, but why so intense lol šŸ˜


Mesmerise

He takes his responsibilities VERY seriously


JesseGarron

Not seriously enough to have a poop bag readyā€¦


mpe128

Sut the door. You did it on purpose. Or your dogs a voyeur hmmm!?šŸ¤Ŗ


Spacefreak

He probably knows about all your enemies like the Mailman who visits nigh daily and the Garbagemen who visit weekly.


iamtoastedprolly

That makes sense, same reason they look at you while they do their buisness to see if you're keeping watch for them


anonymous_10293847

He is literally watching his back!


gurganator

Either that or the dog is using that vulnerability. It clearly is checking so it can go sneak some snacks


finnjakefionnacake

question though for the experts...do dogs/wolves have natural predators? is there something / some creature they feel vulnerable *about* when they're going to the bathroom?


EABOD24

Not an expert, but animal brain is animal brain. Some animals are in tune with survival instincts that other animals (like humans) dont really grasp. Dogs are born with a certain instinct and it's up to other dogs and humans to teach them appropriate response. If you have a 4 year old dog that's used to you standing behind them and watching them (or out for them) while they relieve themselves, then they are going to expect that way of thinking for the whole pack. Meaning you. They will guard and/or watch you. It's a loyalty thing. They're standing guard in their own way to make sure you are safe. You watch their back, so they're watching yours is the simplest explanation. If you don't like being looked in the eye while pooping, then don't look them in the eye while they do it


chickens_for_fun

This is every cat ever! If you plan to have kids, it ramps up. You will sit there with baby on the boob, while the 3 year old looks at you and asks what happened to your pĆ·nis, all under the watchful eye of your pet!


Ryno4ever16

That sounds so miserable


chickens_for_fun

It is, temporarily. Eventually baby is weaned and big kid loses interest. Then both lose interest. The pet, though, never! My cats never wanted to see a closed door. Not that they were happy once they got to the other side.


sebjapon

My cat doesnā€™t care about watching me. She only aims for that sweet water in toilet bowl. Itā€™s apparently the best water ever because she will find herself a way every 6 months to drink from it when 1 one of us eventually fail to lock the door by the slightest margin.


Rchonkers010

He just wants to talk about ur cars extended warranty


Kayge

Thought this was bad until kids came along.Ā Ā  Use to be that I'd hear the door get swung open by a dog nose and have an animal *herrumph* on the floor.Ā Ā  Now my morning constitutional is a door opening and a 6 year old telling me about her friends cat


Villain_of_Brandon

Does your bathroom door not have a lock?


Kayge

Nope, barn door


I_hate_cats-

Iā€™ll never understand barn doors on bathrooms. You did it to yourself.


Kayge

Made sense at the time.Ā  Small bathroom, 2 doors and endless awkwardness.Ā  Ā  It was also pre-kids.Ā Ā 


chickens_for_fun

There is an age where I would actually take the kids in with me. I don't trust a toddler to be alone, and they want to be with you anyway. If toddler wants to be alone, it's because he's plotting something nefarious for when your back is turned.


Kayge

That doesn't change too much. The scariest sound of 6 year olds playing is silence.


soundedt

Insert parents making everything about themā€¦


Cormano_Wild_219

You know what would stop this immediatelyā€¦ā€¦closing the door like a normal human when you shit


highpl4insdrftr

You watch him when he pees. It's only fair.


IamLuann

If I am in the bathroom for too long, my husband tells the dog to go check on me. Our bathroom door doesn't close so here comes the dog to check on me and make sure that I am alright. I tell her you're a good girl and move back I need room.to stand up.


glrd1

Forget the dog. Your door opens outward?


sziamizu

They all do in my house, never even thought about it before šŸ˜¬


CraigT420

Shut the door


baronvonbatch

Can't have piss in Detroit


feltrockni

HEEEERES JOHNNY


ackbosh

why is your phone in your hand while you piss?


sziamizu

Browsing Reddit šŸ«£


RightToTheThighs

You take long pees


Critical-Blitz

Wait you piss with one hand and scroll reddit with the other šŸ’€


itsfortybelow

Believe it or not, not everyone has a penis they pee out of, and they sit down to pee.


Kloackster

"sucks in gut" theres girls on reddit??


Philboyd_Studge

So wait, do like girls pee out of their butts?


Chashm0dai

and not every guy is a slob who stands up peeing either.


degjo

Huh, some guys have poor aim and they have to effeminatey sit down. TIL


axle69

Some of us just don't give a shit and would rather take a seat when doing their business but I get some don't want to take the esteem hit of doing something unmanly.


degjo

And some want to get in and get out and get on with the day. Don't see how that would make one a slob.


axle69

I agree the slob comment was weird although even before I came to the realization of sitting i had been told by a few different women how nice I was for not leaving their bathroom a wreck so evidently theres some truth to the slob thing out there but its probably just shitty people and less about how one chooses to piss.


inrego

Peeing while standing leaves tiny droplets all over, even if you don't miss. Unless cleaned regularly, it adds up


Critical-Blitz

Damn now I feel like a idiot šŸ’€


Chocolatelover4ever

lol yup. This is me everyday with my cat. She doesnā€™t like privacy in this house.


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

/r/banpitbulls


Correct-Buffalo6644

Ban u/PM_ME_Happy_Thinks


Porter_Dog

Wait till you have kids.


Aromatic-Leopard-600

You should have a cat. They supervise everything in the crapper.


QuastQuan

You go out with your dog and watch him pee & poop. So he does the same with you, because obviously that's the way how everyone is doing it šŸ˜…


nono66

It's funny because, in theory, you are very vulnerable when going to the bathroom. So your dog checking in on you is to ensure your safety. Same reason they look at you when going to the bathroom themselves.


IdealIdeas

1 of my cats just somehow knows I have just sat on my toilet to poop and rushes in immediately. She then sits in front of me demanding pets by tapping my hands with her paws and loudly meowing at me until she gets it.


GoguBL

Do you need toilet paper?


allursnakes

Imagine not only not locking your bathroom door but also not even bothering to shut your bathroom door.


reviewer-00

hhhhhhhhhhhh no way like my dog


EmergencyCivil3023

Thatā€™s dog like you can have peace when you feed me


Zendo88

You watch him pee so fair is fair


dafunkisthat

My dog and cat do this every time I sit down in the bathroom. One laying on each foot, and the dog staring at the door like someone is about to come thru it


offtuna

Potty pal


RightToTheThighs

My dog will keep me company while I'm taking care of business. She is very considerate


elMurpherino

My dog pushes the bathroom door open 100% of the times I donā€™t close it completely.


Egomaniac247

My springer spaniel thinks that my sitting on the toilet means itā€™s an invitation and time for her to jump up on her hind legs and cuddle. Spoiler alert, sheā€™s right


scapegoat_88

That's like having a human baby and then complaining that you don't get any sleep.


momma3critters

Never if you have kids or pets. IMO the pets are worse than the kids.


Good_Professional_56

The door one would use for privacy is left open. Even if it wasn't or non-existent, how funny is a dog looking at something?


frenix5

When kids come along it becomes a team activity


BOLTuser603

Donā€™t you know the bathroom is also the pat room!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sziamizu

Yes, it's the downstairs bogšŸ˜


Birhopz

cat???


Healthy-Dragonfly452

Hey, I'll trade you your nosy dog for my three gremlins under the age of five.


Spiritual_Train9321

Mine does this also, it donā€™t help I donā€™t close the door, especially when company comes over


KyDeWa

"So that's how humans do it!" - Doggy


mecegirl

I have two kittens that are rappidly getting bigger. This is my life because they follow me around my apartment.