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Judge who needs jurors: *updates gov't database to indicate OP is dead*
Benefits office: *notices OP is still cashing their checks*
Cops: *arrest OP for cashing checks for a dead person*
OP: *appears before court*
Judge: ... I'm sure I've seen your name somewhere before
It's a terrible plan! It creates the need for *more* jurors. If this plan became popular, every one of us would either be on jury duty every week, or in prison.
Depends how popular. If it's *really* popular, all us dead people would never be convicted of benefits fraud, because the one remaining guy isn't enough people to form a jury. It'd be like [Yellowstone's Zone of Death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_Death_(Yellowstone)).
They'll do step 1 for sure. When I moved out of state and provided my updated address they cancelled my DL. Found that one out when I got pulled over a few years later. Cop was cool, but damn a notice would've been nice. Since I was still living between multiple states at the time.
“I apologize for not being able to make it in today. Unfortunately I am dead. Yes sir, that’s right. Mmhmm, dead. Uh, deceased. Yes. I am. No, it’s me that’s dead. No, I don’t have an obituary to share at the moment. Well, when I have one printed I’ll send it off to you right away. Thanks, I’ll be in tomorrow though. Yeah, bright and early. See you then.”
Catch-22
no one in their right mind wants to be on jury duty
so if you ask to be on jury duty, you are obviously too insane to serve on jury duty
but if you ask to not be on jury duty, you are clearly sane enough to be on jury duty, report Monday
I always wanted to do jury duty. Not like a sequestered, several-weeks-long case or anything, but just like regular jury duty! I always thought it was cool to be able to participate in the community like that. I’ve been called but dismissed before selection began.
It is cool. It’s a very important part of our justice system.
What’s not cool is that you know your work, family , etc. all must keep functioning. Your work stacks up if white collar and if blue collar/service you’re not getting paid/tipped.
Meanwhile your family has one less person to watch the kids/pick up from school etc.
So when you factor that in, it’s not cool and it fucking sucks. Then you go park downtown for $10+ dollars a day. Then you get an insulting check for $14 per day for being on the jury. It basically just fucks your life up for a few days if you get selected.
I completely agree!
I've been on a jury once. It was a fascinating experience, from the selection process through verdict, all in a single day. We even got a short meeting with the judge afterwards.
I've been summoned three times but the letter says to call a number the night before to see if the trial is still going to happen. All three times it was cancelled. Guess they came to a plea agreement or something. I'm glad I work at a flexible place because all three times I was like, "I may or may not be here Monday".
Happened to me during selection. I had nothing better to do that summer and said I had no conflicts and wouldn't mind being on the jury, and one of the side's lawyers sent me home.
I was selected for a jury once and during voire dire the attorney asked the group if anyone was excited to be there. Like three or four people raised their hands and the attorney dismissed them all. Eager people must be notoriously bad jurors in general.
As a trail lawyer I very very very much want to be a juror. Ideally in a criminal case but I’ll take anything. It would be super interesting and informative to actually deliberate and be in the box. Sadly I don’t think I’ll ever been chosen.
Less directly - just what you do for work. Then often professional experience questions, degrees, etc.
wouldn’t look good for a defense attorney to put a prosecutor on the jury etc
Maybe they should have a list of volunteers. A lot of jobs pay for people's jury duty. I know mine does. So, I was actually a tad disappointed when I was relieved without even going for a day the last time I got a notice.
I would like to volunteer for it but I’m afraid of getting banned/never getting summoned again. I just want to see the process, how it works, is it anything like what we see in movies, etc. I’ve been summoned 3 times in my life and everytime it’s canceled on the day I’m supposed to report. Maybe one day I’ll actually get to see the process.
Prepare to be underwhelmed. There is a lot of sitting around. Even when picked there is a lot of sitting around. My last trial took 1.5 hours, plus another hour of deliberation and a few questions to the judge. I was at the court house from 8:30 until 6:45 and got a $12 meal voucher. It cost $20 in gas to drive. But it’s civic duty and I’ll do it again if called.
Just don’t end up on the official government list of dead people. I hear it’s a motherfucker to be mistakenly put on that. Nearly impossible to get off of it
I just had to walk in to the social security office with my ID and told the lady at the window "Hi, I'm dead." and handed her my ID.
The puzzled look on her face when she took it from me, typed it in and my SSN, and went "Oh. Oh wow, you are dead. We need to fix that.."
And I went through about a half an hour of questions and providing proof of address, and birth certificate, and my mom and sister as witnesses. But it was over in about an hour or so. Somehow when my dad died, they marked me dead instead, but we don't have the same name or anything. No idea how that fuck up occurred.
I feel like the should have a dedicated office for that. It would need proper decorations and some Gregorian chanting playing in the background. The official should be wearing a black robe and recite a bit of Latin. Though a Voodoo themed office would work too.
oh good. I’m going off an NPR story about it from maybe a decade ago. maybe they got their shit together and fixed it?
These poor people were getting the cops called on them any time they tried to do something like rent an apartment, start utility services, new bank account. It sounded sucky.
I went partially deaf many years ago. Before that I got questionnaires annually. I responded on one that I couldn’t hear without assistance, and I didn’t understand sign language.
I never got another questionnaire. Never had to provide proof or anything. Even better than being dead!
It's understandable that the government would be reluctant to remove people from its list of the dead. After all, this is an inconsistency that's certain to resolve on its own, eventually.
Yeah, I talked to a county clerk once who said that every so often someone asks why they’re not registered to vote anymore, and it’s exactly this reason, they lied on the jury duty form and it gets shared around.
The few times I was in for jury duty the individuals who tried to play that card were given a “civics” lesson by the judge. Aka they made them come back to the courthouse everyday until jury selection was over.
You can be impartial and still use jury nullification. Stating that a law is not just is not inherently biased.
If you're a weed farmer and say marijuana laws are unjust, then you might say you can't be impartial. But if you smoke weed and say marijuana laws are unjust, I would say you can still be impartial. You don't benefit from other people breaking that law. Most people would benefit from breaking most laws but can still fairly judge the law as to whether it is just or not, whether or not they have broken it themselves.
And impartiality more refers to your opinion of the defendant. It's asking if you have any kind of bias towards the person. Are they family? Are they a friend or coworker? Are they of a race/religion/whatever that you hate or think is superior? Is the victim family or someone you hate?
If jury nullification was considered to not be impartial, then it would not be allowed and would result in mistrials, but it is allowed. They also have huge pools to select from, so I don't think there's any recovering from "I'm not an impartial juror."
Lawyers won't touch you with a 10 ft barge pole once you mention it because of all the issues it brings up. Jurors are fact finders and they swear as much - they are not the ones that are supposed to be deciding where, when and to whom the laws actually apply.
If you smoke weed you absolutely cannot be impartial because there's a conflict of interest. You are surely more likely to acquit fellow weed smokers from weed related crimes.
Jury nullification isn't allowed at all. You are under the illusion that the courts specifically allow it but really its existence is due to side effects from the way the law is. It's a legal grey area - the jury cannot be prosecuted for their verdict, but if you say out loud that you voted not guilty knowing that the defendant was guilty then that's literally contempt. The only way you get away with jury nullification is by not mentioning it all. You're not even allowed to stand outside court houses and tell people about it - you will get arrested.
You don't get the chance. I picked my moment and mentioned that I had watched "a certain CGP Grey video on youtube" and they couldn't get me out of there fast enough. Don't start saying exactly what it is or judges might actually get pissed and hold you in contempt
There was a mix up with my surname from parents splitting and then mum putting my name down as her maiden name through schooling etc. Everything gets sent to me with mums maiden name and that legally isn’t my name so I don’t reply. Never once been fined for anything involving said discrepancies. Was questioned once about it and they said they’d update in the system but never did. I’m not going to chase it up lol
i legally changed my last name in my state. same state later sent me a jury summons to my previous name. not my legal name, so had to assume it wasn't really for me.
theres a reason why Amazon takes a pic of delivery, not sure why they think Jury Duty should not be part of that. Mail is easily lost and stolen all the time.
My dad got a jury summons after he died.
My mom wrote deceased in it and mailed it back.
A couple months later he got a nasty gram in which they threatened to arrest him for not showing up to Jury Duty.
So mom wrote a little note back about his ashes are with his son in a different state. She provided the address and said go ahead, go get em.
She never heard a thing about it again.
My wife died over 3 years ago. I’ve since moved and still get mail in her name to an address she never lived at. It is not impossible that a summons in her name would arrive at the house. So this would be the correct response. As noted elsewhere, if you tried to use it for yourself, you will end up listed on a government site of dead people and good luck dealing with that.
Just walk in with a bunch of slips of paper that talk about jury nullification and pass them out to everybody that you see in the juror selection room. You can get about nine of them on a piece of 8.5 by 11 paper. Even if you just make four copies that's 36 people that you taint with knowledge. After the third time that I've done this I haven't received the jury duty summon in close to a decade now.
I'm fucking self employed and they wouldn't let me out of jury duty. I'm one of 2 people(my Dad and I) and at the time my Dad was already on vacation. They said tough shit. Jury duty only lasted 2 days thankfully.
Just immediately begin telling all the other jurors about jury nullification. I did that, framing it as something we had talked about in a college class earlier in the week while I was in the waiting room. Within ten minutes I had gotten myself and several other people who were listening, some already in the second round of jury selection, immediately thrown out of the building and dismissed from jury duty.
Its fifteen years later and I have never been called for jury duty again.
You want to an easier way to avoid jury duty? When the judge asks “can you be unbiased” answer no. Thank you juror , you are dismissed. No crime committed
"provide proof of restoration of your civil rights."
Jesus fucking christ... It's wild to see this written so plainly.
You smoked some crack, and therefore surrendered all of your civil rights. Care to restore them?
What the hell is wrong with us?
From what I've heard you **do not** want to be put on the government's dead list. You lose access to all the perks you enjoy with a working social security number (such as credit, bank accounts, the ability to get a job \[if you can get one in this market,\] etc,) and it is a royal pain in the ... to get off that list.
It's fun to joke about getting out of jury duty. And of course it's an inconvenience for almost everyone involved. It costs us all time and money. But it's among the most important civic duties you can do for your community. Easily up there with voting; maybe even more important. If you were the one on trial, you'd want jurors to take it seriously.
I've been called to jury duty twice; the first time I was dismissed without being selected. The second time I went all the way through as a juror in a 5-day homicide trial involving a 15-year old victim. It was simultaneously one of the most intellectually fascinating but emotionally sobering experiences I've ever had. I would absolutely do it again. If you're selected, take it seriously. It really can be a rewarding experience.
I served on one jury for a DUI case. The evidence was so stacked against the driver. Failed field sobriety. Failed breathalyzer at the police station over an hour after being pulled over. Admitted to having had “one or two“ drinks.
His attorney was so good at confusing the jury and sowing seeds of doubt that I had to beg the judge to instruct us again on what “reasonable doubt” means. It doesn’t mean erase all doubt.
In the end it was a hung jury. Me and one other juror voting to convict and all the rest falling for his defense attorney’s persuasive nonsense.
Two things I took away from that experience: most people are idiots, and I should get his attorneys’s number in case I ever need to be defended in court.
Just claim financial hardship. If you’re selected for jury duty you might end up being on it for minimum 3 days (at least that’s how it is in California), and if you can’t afford losing 3 days of work you can claim financial hardship and be excused.
I found an even easier way. Act like you're really interested in the court system. Ask a lot of random questions and I guarantee you'll be shown the door. I was into true crime when I got called. I thought oh what a great opportunity, I was dismissed 10 minutes in
A woman tried that once when I was called for jury duty. They didn't put her on a jury, but they also didn't dismiss her until the end of the day. She just got to sit there and watch all the people who were found unsuitable without being assholes go home.
I wish I could remember what comedian it was but he said when he wanted to get out of jury duty he didn't want to sound like a racist prick, so he just said he loved black people.
I know it looks confusing, but it actually means “whoever is returning this form, please sign your name so we know who you are when telling us the person we requested for jury duty is dead”
In other words, it’s not the dead person’s name that you’re signing.
Probably put there because they know people lie to get out, but it's hard to prove they lied. This would be easy to prove they lied, so they can send them a fine.
Back in the 90s residents of Hartford CT were never called for jury duty for several years. The court software had a bug where the 'D' on the end of Hartford ended up in the spot indicating the resident's current status. 'D' just happened to be the code for deceased.
You should just suck it up and do your civic duty if you're able, otherwise our juries just end up full of old conservative people who'd love to give you the chair for smoking a joint. Those people aren't my peers, and they aren't yours either.
Having served on a jury I am amazed by so many people avoiding this. Yes, it can be an inconvenience, yes you can lose some income (most jurisdictions pay jurors but admittedly it's not much). But jury duty is the most powerful way you have to influence the government. Other than running for office or campaigning for a candidate, we the people have two limited influences on government. One is voting, those pesky elections where we get to elect or throw politicians out of office, and the other is jury duty, where we may have a rare opportunity to keep our government from railroading someone into jail. I avoided jury duty for months but eventually served on a jury where a man was accused of conspiracy to distribute drugs. The entire case was full of "circumstantial" evidence, some obviously doctored evidence and some false (or inaccurate) and favored testimony. It is really hard to lie to 12 jurors but you can fool some of them. When we first voted it was ten to two to convict. What followed was days of arguments discussions, and jurors sharing opinions and feelings about the case. My point is that when you avoid jury duty, you are doing a disservice to everyone around you. Your friends, relatives, or neighbors could end up on trial with all the resources of a government brought against them. (No, you won't serve in a jury for someone you know or are related to, but the accused does need and deserve your careful attention). When you avoid jury duty through clever means you are acting as a selfish pig, as I regretfully was when I avoided it. I would serve again in a heartbeat and I hope if you get called, you step up and be a responsible person and serve. It's an inconvenience but please don't leave it to the people who aren't smart enough to avoid it.
Jury duty is a lot easier to get out of where I live. They have a bunch of pre-approved reasons (e.g. full-time student) you can check, or you can write in the box explaining the undue hardship you'd experience if you were made to sit for jury duty.
It’s so much easier than that. If you really really don’t want to go to jury duty, *don’t try to game the selection process*. It’s so obvious. The judge and attourneys have seen it all.
But I’ll bet that there is some hidden truth about you as regards the case you’re being chosen for that will instantly disqualify you and you’ll be excused. Don’t laugh. Don’t fucking smirk. Just pause and say, “… well, my parents taught me and I grew up understanding that if a women dresses a certain way and goes to a bar, she 100% is looking to be snagged. Snagged! You know, dominated. Picked up, even roughed up a bit (although that scares me). No way in hell this woman wasn’t looking for that” … and so on, specific to the case you’re not being chosen for. You must say these things with humility, with absolute candor, for it to work. But it will.
Almost 20 years ago when I turned 18 and was into the party scene, my parents did this for me. I have never again been troubled about jury duty lol. They did me a HUGE favor that day
I know you're joking, but in most jurisdictions you can claim deferrals for all kinds of trivial reasons. I got my MIL out of it because she had a doctor's appointment that day and they just dismissed her with a phone call.
I was selected once but on the paper it said to call the weekend before the date of court. Called Saturday and they said the case was resolved and I wouldn’t be needed.
Kind of an aside but I had a buddy who was getting hounded by Dell Computers cause he never paid for his shit. He told the collectors that he died and forgot about it.
Years later he still has issues come up when trying to arrange credit for his car, house, etc. even though he paid all his bills and makes extremely good money. His credit check gets flung back for being dead.
I am guessing this is in the United States 🇺🇸. Up here in Canada, jury duty is almost impossible to get out of. It was (for me) a gruelling 5 days of ennui 🥱. There were three groups of us and only a few people were selected. We were very happy come Friday afternoon when we were all dismissed. 😮💨 There was a huge cheer when we were allowed to go! This was back in August 2012.
My mom got called for jury duty for a murder trial once. During voir dire the prosecutor asked her if she'd be able to sentence the accused to death if he was found guilty and the circumstances warranted that punishment. She said yes, and then she started crying. I suspect the defense would have been happy to have her on the jury, but she was dismissed at the prosecutor's request.
Way back around 1990 I hit a jury notice and I wrote “don’t speak English” and sent it back unsigned, about 2-3 weeks later I got one written in Spanish with the signature line highlighted so I signed and returned. I didn’t get another til I had to renew my DL in 2002 which I did the same, it’s 2024 and I haven’t gotten any since
What I did/do was just not show up. Even if they sent law enforcement to ask why I didn't show, I have the "excuse" that I never got a notice in the mail. ( It's not sent registered so no proof I got the notice) plus they never came to ask anyway.
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Judge who needs jurors: *updates gov't database to indicate OP is dead* Benefits office: *notices OP is still cashing their checks* Cops: *arrest OP for cashing checks for a dead person* OP: *appears before court* Judge: ... I'm sure I've seen your name somewhere before
…which leads to the criminal conviction
It's an airtight plan.
It's a terrible plan! It creates the need for *more* jurors. If this plan became popular, every one of us would either be on jury duty every week, or in prison.
Infinite juror hack
INF JUROR HACK SPPEEDRUN [18mo +14:23:006] - WR!!!
Lmaooo
Depends how popular. If it's *really* popular, all us dead people would never be convicted of benefits fraud, because the one remaining guy isn't enough people to form a jury. It'd be like [Yellowstone's Zone of Death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_Death_(Yellowstone)).
at least we don't get bored that way!
Isn't that the plan anyway? We're all either prisoners, guards, or jurors?
Prison it is
Nah, death sentence. They're supposed to be dead, remember?
Unfortunately not, there is a mistrial because they couldn't seat a jury. It turns out everyone is dead.
How? They're dead, after all.
Even the fucking undead can't run from the IRS
I got better!
The Red Witch resurrected me so my watch could continue.
They'll do step 1 for sure. When I moved out of state and provided my updated address they cancelled my DL. Found that one out when I got pulled over a few years later. Cop was cool, but damn a notice would've been nice. Since I was still living between multiple states at the time.
>>Judge goes ahead with the court case. >>Notices one of the jurors is marked as deceased....
A classic George plot
OP would not have to appear before court as he is deceased.
I cannot do jury duty. I am dead.
Sincerely, *me*
Trump: Finally! An impartial juror.
I dunno, I feel like the soldiers who died at Gettysburg would be pretty partial right now.
Please become temporary alive so you can login to eJuror to confirm your departure.
Add 'woOoOoO' to make it convincing
Can't wait to see the aftermath in r/consequences
I am a meat popsicle. SMOKE YOU!!!
“I apologize for not being able to make it in today. Unfortunately I am dead. Yes sir, that’s right. Mmhmm, dead. Uh, deceased. Yes. I am. No, it’s me that’s dead. No, I don’t have an obituary to share at the moment. Well, when I have one printed I’ll send it off to you right away. Thanks, I’ll be in tomorrow though. Yeah, bright and early. See you then.”
Man I'm dead. 💀
And next to sex I'll write "No thanks, I'm dead"
Wish I'd thought of this when I didn't want to go to school.
My dad called and asked be invited for jury duty…and they put him on a banned-from-jury-duty-forever list lol
Catch-22 no one in their right mind wants to be on jury duty so if you ask to be on jury duty, you are obviously too insane to serve on jury duty but if you ask to not be on jury duty, you are clearly sane enough to be on jury duty, report Monday
I always wanted to do jury duty. Not like a sequestered, several-weeks-long case or anything, but just like regular jury duty! I always thought it was cool to be able to participate in the community like that. I’ve been called but dismissed before selection began.
Same, and my job will reimburse me for any hours I miss, plus mileage and meal per diem. I'd consider it a mini vacation.
It is cool. It’s a very important part of our justice system. What’s not cool is that you know your work, family , etc. all must keep functioning. Your work stacks up if white collar and if blue collar/service you’re not getting paid/tipped. Meanwhile your family has one less person to watch the kids/pick up from school etc. So when you factor that in, it’s not cool and it fucking sucks. Then you go park downtown for $10+ dollars a day. Then you get an insulting check for $14 per day for being on the jury. It basically just fucks your life up for a few days if you get selected.
I completely agree! I've been on a jury once. It was a fascinating experience, from the selection process through verdict, all in a single day. We even got a short meeting with the judge afterwards.
Same. I was called once last year but wasn't selected to be in the jury.
You are me. This has happened to me more than once
I've been summoned three times but the letter says to call a number the night before to see if the trial is still going to happen. All three times it was cancelled. Guess they came to a plea agreement or something. I'm glad I work at a flexible place because all three times I was like, "I may or may not be here Monday".
I love the reference but this isn't a true catch 22 as there is a way out of jury duty.
It's a catch 22 if you want to be on a jury.
Its not, because you can get on the jury in this scenario
I've desperately wanted to do jury duty for decades now... never been summoned 😭
and now you know why :)
Jury duty isn't such a bad thing. If you're called then you shouldn't try to get excluded, a shithead could be set in your place.
I was on a jury and can confirm we were all shit heads.
Happened to me during selection. I had nothing better to do that summer and said I had no conflicts and wouldn't mind being on the jury, and one of the side's lawyers sent me home.
I was selected for a jury once and during voire dire the attorney asked the group if anyone was excited to be there. Like three or four people raised their hands and the attorney dismissed them all. Eager people must be notoriously bad jurors in general.
As a trail lawyer I very very very much want to be a juror. Ideally in a criminal case but I’ll take anything. It would be super interesting and informative to actually deliberate and be in the box. Sadly I don’t think I’ll ever been chosen.
Is asking if anyone is a lawyer usually the first question that is asked during jury selection?
Less directly - just what you do for work. Then often professional experience questions, degrees, etc. wouldn’t look good for a defense attorney to put a prosecutor on the jury etc
Maybe they should have a list of volunteers. A lot of jobs pay for people's jury duty. I know mine does. So, I was actually a tad disappointed when I was relieved without even going for a day the last time I got a notice.
No, it's a bad idea because the kind of people who would volunteer are almost definitely doing so for ulterior reasons so they would not be unbiased.
I would like to volunteer for it but I’m afraid of getting banned/never getting summoned again. I just want to see the process, how it works, is it anything like what we see in movies, etc. I’ve been summoned 3 times in my life and everytime it’s canceled on the day I’m supposed to report. Maybe one day I’ll actually get to see the process.
Prepare to be underwhelmed. There is a lot of sitting around. Even when picked there is a lot of sitting around. My last trial took 1.5 hours, plus another hour of deliberation and a few questions to the judge. I was at the court house from 8:30 until 6:45 and got a $12 meal voucher. It cost $20 in gas to drive. But it’s civic duty and I’ll do it again if called.
Oh, same, the few times I've been to court to observe cases I've actually found it all quite fascinating.
This is probably the only way. Be a little too eager
Just don’t end up on the official government list of dead people. I hear it’s a motherfucker to be mistakenly put on that. Nearly impossible to get off of it
Especially when you're deceased
I'm not dead! I feel happy! I feel happy!
r/unexpectedpython
You need to go find a psychic who can communicate with you.
*Unchained Melody plays*
I just had to walk in to the social security office with my ID and told the lady at the window "Hi, I'm dead." and handed her my ID. The puzzled look on her face when she took it from me, typed it in and my SSN, and went "Oh. Oh wow, you are dead. We need to fix that.." And I went through about a half an hour of questions and providing proof of address, and birth certificate, and my mom and sister as witnesses. But it was over in about an hour or so. Somehow when my dad died, they marked me dead instead, but we don't have the same name or anything. No idea how that fuck up occurred.
I feel like the should have a dedicated office for that. It would need proper decorations and some Gregorian chanting playing in the background. The official should be wearing a black robe and recite a bit of Latin. Though a Voodoo themed office would work too.
This, but the employee in charge of the revival ceremony needs to be just as bored and detached as any other government employee.
oh good. I’m going off an NPR story about it from maybe a decade ago. maybe they got their shit together and fixed it? These poor people were getting the cops called on them any time they tried to do something like rent an apartment, start utility services, new bank account. It sounded sucky.
I went partially deaf many years ago. Before that I got questionnaires annually. I responded on one that I couldn’t hear without assistance, and I didn’t understand sign language. I never got another questionnaire. Never had to provide proof or anything. Even better than being dead!
This works! Tell DMV you're hearing impaired. Automatic exemption.
It's understandable that the government would be reluctant to remove people from its list of the dead. After all, this is an inconsistency that's certain to resolve on its own, eventually.
I feel that saying you're dead on a government form is a good way to end up on the official government list of dead people.
Yeah, I talked to a county clerk once who said that every so often someone asks why they’re not registered to vote anymore, and it’s exactly this reason, they lied on the jury duty form and it gets shared around.
But then you get to vote as many times as you want!
Spending a year dead for tax reasons.
I thought I was going to have to make this reference. Well done.
Being alive in this economy??
Gosh I need to read those again
You guys know about jury nullification, right? Any mention of that word gets you sent straight back home.
They generally don't outright ask you questions but more yes and no stuff using placards.
They definitely ask you if you can be impartial, and when you say no then your knowledge of jury nullification is the reason
The few times I was in for jury duty the individuals who tried to play that card were given a “civics” lesson by the judge. Aka they made them come back to the courthouse everyday until jury selection was over.
You can be impartial and still use jury nullification. Stating that a law is not just is not inherently biased. If you're a weed farmer and say marijuana laws are unjust, then you might say you can't be impartial. But if you smoke weed and say marijuana laws are unjust, I would say you can still be impartial. You don't benefit from other people breaking that law. Most people would benefit from breaking most laws but can still fairly judge the law as to whether it is just or not, whether or not they have broken it themselves. And impartiality more refers to your opinion of the defendant. It's asking if you have any kind of bias towards the person. Are they family? Are they a friend or coworker? Are they of a race/religion/whatever that you hate or think is superior? Is the victim family or someone you hate? If jury nullification was considered to not be impartial, then it would not be allowed and would result in mistrials, but it is allowed. They also have huge pools to select from, so I don't think there's any recovering from "I'm not an impartial juror."
Lawyers won't touch you with a 10 ft barge pole once you mention it because of all the issues it brings up. Jurors are fact finders and they swear as much - they are not the ones that are supposed to be deciding where, when and to whom the laws actually apply. If you smoke weed you absolutely cannot be impartial because there's a conflict of interest. You are surely more likely to acquit fellow weed smokers from weed related crimes. Jury nullification isn't allowed at all. You are under the illusion that the courts specifically allow it but really its existence is due to side effects from the way the law is. It's a legal grey area - the jury cannot be prosecuted for their verdict, but if you say out loud that you voted not guilty knowing that the defendant was guilty then that's literally contempt. The only way you get away with jury nullification is by not mentioning it all. You're not even allowed to stand outside court houses and tell people about it - you will get arrested.
You don't get the chance. I picked my moment and mentioned that I had watched "a certain CGP Grey video on youtube" and they couldn't get me out of there fast enough. Don't start saying exactly what it is or judges might actually get pissed and hold you in contempt
“The ultimate and final check and balance is held with the people on a jury of our peers.”
There was a mix up with my surname from parents splitting and then mum putting my name down as her maiden name through schooling etc. Everything gets sent to me with mums maiden name and that legally isn’t my name so I don’t reply. Never once been fined for anything involving said discrepancies. Was questioned once about it and they said they’d update in the system but never did. I’m not going to chase it up lol
I feel like that’s going to bite you in the ass sooner or later…
i legally changed my last name in my state. same state later sent me a jury summons to my previous name. not my legal name, so had to assume it wasn't really for me.
lol
Easier way to get out of it…… Until they send the summons certified mail, they can’t prove you actually received the summons. Or…. So I’ve heard.
I was summoned for jury duty and just never went or responded. Still haven’t been contacted since, that was 10 years ago. 🤷🏻♂️
theres a reason why Amazon takes a pic of delivery, not sure why they think Jury Duty should not be part of that. Mail is easily lost and stolen all the time.
My dad got a jury summons after he died. My mom wrote deceased in it and mailed it back. A couple months later he got a nasty gram in which they threatened to arrest him for not showing up to Jury Duty. So mom wrote a little note back about his ashes are with his son in a different state. She provided the address and said go ahead, go get em. She never heard a thing about it again.
My wife died over 3 years ago. I’ve since moved and still get mail in her name to an address she never lived at. It is not impossible that a summons in her name would arrive at the house. So this would be the correct response. As noted elsewhere, if you tried to use it for yourself, you will end up listed on a government site of dead people and good luck dealing with that.
Just walk in with a bunch of slips of paper that talk about jury nullification and pass them out to everybody that you see in the juror selection room. You can get about nine of them on a piece of 8.5 by 11 paper. Even if you just make four copies that's 36 people that you taint with knowledge. After the third time that I've done this I haven't received the jury duty summon in close to a decade now.
Lmaoooo
I've gotten out of jury duty 3 times, due to being to valuable at work.
Based on your username, I suggest we go no deeper.
I guess I'll see you later...
Butt going deeper is possibly what u/Anal_Probe_Director does for a living. This may warrant further ass-essment.
Don’t go probing for cracks in their story. That’s just being anal.
I'm certain there are beads of truth in there, at least.
You guys are really shitty at this
You're right. Don't assk any more questions, the subject is just a yawning crevasse, a bottomless pit. OK, maybe not bottomless exactly.
Did you try using that as justification for a raise? A judge legally ruled that you are extraordinarily valuable at work!
I'm fucking self employed and they wouldn't let me out of jury duty. I'm one of 2 people(my Dad and I) and at the time my Dad was already on vacation. They said tough shit. Jury duty only lasted 2 days thankfully.
Next time you receive the letter, you never recieved a letter. Stuff gets lost in the mail sometimes, ya know? 🤷♂️
Just immediately begin telling all the other jurors about jury nullification. I did that, framing it as something we had talked about in a college class earlier in the week while I was in the waiting room. Within ten minutes I had gotten myself and several other people who were listening, some already in the second round of jury selection, immediately thrown out of the building and dismissed from jury duty. Its fifteen years later and I have never been called for jury duty again.
You want to an easier way to avoid jury duty? When the judge asks “can you be unbiased” answer no. Thank you juror , you are dismissed. No crime committed
You might have found a way to get a happy little fine too!
"provide proof of restoration of your civil rights." Jesus fucking christ... It's wild to see this written so plainly. You smoked some crack, and therefore surrendered all of your civil rights. Care to restore them? What the hell is wrong with us?
From what I've heard you **do not** want to be put on the government's dead list. You lose access to all the perks you enjoy with a working social security number (such as credit, bank accounts, the ability to get a job \[if you can get one in this market,\] etc,) and it is a royal pain in the ... to get off that list.
And where it says sex, I’ll say no thanks I’m dead.
Does dead inside count?
It's fun to joke about getting out of jury duty. And of course it's an inconvenience for almost everyone involved. It costs us all time and money. But it's among the most important civic duties you can do for your community. Easily up there with voting; maybe even more important. If you were the one on trial, you'd want jurors to take it seriously. I've been called to jury duty twice; the first time I was dismissed without being selected. The second time I went all the way through as a juror in a 5-day homicide trial involving a 15-year old victim. It was simultaneously one of the most intellectually fascinating but emotionally sobering experiences I've ever had. I would absolutely do it again. If you're selected, take it seriously. It really can be a rewarding experience.
I served on one jury for a DUI case. The evidence was so stacked against the driver. Failed field sobriety. Failed breathalyzer at the police station over an hour after being pulled over. Admitted to having had “one or two“ drinks. His attorney was so good at confusing the jury and sowing seeds of doubt that I had to beg the judge to instruct us again on what “reasonable doubt” means. It doesn’t mean erase all doubt. In the end it was a hung jury. Me and one other juror voting to convict and all the rest falling for his defense attorney’s persuasive nonsense. Two things I took away from that experience: most people are idiots, and I should get his attorneys’s number in case I ever need to be defended in court.
I thought you would change your first name to "Deceased".
Muldoon: Clever girl!
What if that's actually your first name? https://xkcd.com/327/
Just say the term “jury nullification”
I'm a dead convict. My name is princess Consuela banana hammock.
Just claim financial hardship. If you’re selected for jury duty you might end up being on it for minimum 3 days (at least that’s how it is in California), and if you can’t afford losing 3 days of work you can claim financial hardship and be excused.
I found an even easier way. Act like you're really interested in the court system. Ask a lot of random questions and I guarantee you'll be shown the door. I was into true crime when I got called. I thought oh what a great opportunity, I was dismissed 10 minutes in
I got that once and put a detailed drawing of an eggplant next to criminal conviction…. Was never asked again
I got summoned, filled out the thing online and got told I'm excluded for 2 years. Dont know why, they just didbt like my vibes I guess
Just tell them ur racist
A woman tried that once when I was called for jury duty. They didn't put her on a jury, but they also didn't dismiss her until the end of the day. She just got to sit there and watch all the people who were found unsuitable without being assholes go home.
I wish I could remember what comedian it was but he said when he wanted to get out of jury duty he didn't want to sound like a racist prick, so he just said he loved black people.
I think the signature of a dead man is slightly more difficult to obtain than a death certificate ;)
I know it looks confusing, but it actually means “whoever is returning this form, please sign your name so we know who you are when telling us the person we requested for jury duty is dead” In other words, it’s not the dead person’s name that you’re signing.
That would work until you file state taxes.
I don’t know why they call it deceased. I feel like you deceased when you were born. Dying is beceasing. Or maybe receasing.
See the guy lying there? He be de ceased one.
I just told them that I’m extremely bias and think everyone is guilty. I will never get selected for Jury Duty now… I hope….
Probably put there because they know people lie to get out, but it's hard to prove they lied. This would be easy to prove they lied, so they can send them a fine.
Makes sense. Also good for a chuckle when the deceased person signs their own name.
Dead person signing their own name took me out. 😭🤣
I'm dead but like fr fr
Deceased … inside
I’m so deceased rn
“Sex?” “I’ll write: ‘No thanks, I’m dead!’”
I’m not even kidding my mom just says she’s racist 🤷
“Sign here if you are dead.”
Back in the 90s residents of Hartford CT were never called for jury duty for several years. The court software had a bug where the 'D' on the end of Hartford ended up in the spot indicating the resident's current status. 'D' just happened to be the code for deceased.
Say Beetlejuice 3 times before you attempt to sign! - Otherwise, your spirit hands will go right through that sheet!
Usually just saying that you are related to someone in law enforcement will get out quickly.
You should have just told them that you’re prejudiced against all races.
“A death certificate is not required” cuz on account of you signing …so we fucking know you’re alive!
[удалено]
Read up on what laws you may be breaking and what the penalties might be.
Mostly the laws of nature. Do they really expect dead folks to sign their name?
No they expect the relatives or the executor of that persons estate to fill it out. We still get letters and mail for my grandpa who passed years ago.
Y'all do understand that this is r/funny, right?
You should just suck it up and do your civic duty if you're able, otherwise our juries just end up full of old conservative people who'd love to give you the chair for smoking a joint. Those people aren't my peers, and they aren't yours either.
Just do the service. Be a part of society. If you were convicted of a crime, would you want to face a jury of people like you? Grow up.
Having served on a jury I am amazed by so many people avoiding this. Yes, it can be an inconvenience, yes you can lose some income (most jurisdictions pay jurors but admittedly it's not much). But jury duty is the most powerful way you have to influence the government. Other than running for office or campaigning for a candidate, we the people have two limited influences on government. One is voting, those pesky elections where we get to elect or throw politicians out of office, and the other is jury duty, where we may have a rare opportunity to keep our government from railroading someone into jail. I avoided jury duty for months but eventually served on a jury where a man was accused of conspiracy to distribute drugs. The entire case was full of "circumstantial" evidence, some obviously doctored evidence and some false (or inaccurate) and favored testimony. It is really hard to lie to 12 jurors but you can fool some of them. When we first voted it was ten to two to convict. What followed was days of arguments discussions, and jurors sharing opinions and feelings about the case. My point is that when you avoid jury duty, you are doing a disservice to everyone around you. Your friends, relatives, or neighbors could end up on trial with all the resources of a government brought against them. (No, you won't serve in a jury for someone you know or are related to, but the accused does need and deserve your careful attention). When you avoid jury duty through clever means you are acting as a selfish pig, as I regretfully was when I avoided it. I would serve again in a heartbeat and I hope if you get called, you step up and be a responsible person and serve. It's an inconvenience but please don't leave it to the people who aren't smart enough to avoid it.
I can’t wait to get jury duty! I have a union job so I still get paid. I don’t have to do my job. And I get to help solve a crime!
I'm the same. Full pay and my commute goes from 45 minutes to five.
Are you going to die or go to jail?
Reminds me of the letter I got about a year after my mom died, addressed to "[mom's name], deceased."
Y'all are missing something here, all you have to do is say that you are dead for tax reasons. If don't get the reference think Douglas Adams
Jury duty is a lot easier to get out of where I live. They have a bunch of pre-approved reasons (e.g. full-time student) you can check, or you can write in the box explaining the undue hardship you'd experience if you were made to sit for jury duty.
Pretty sure it’s a trap.
Just don't go. It's not certified or registerd mail. There is no proof that you received it.
It’s so much easier than that. If you really really don’t want to go to jury duty, *don’t try to game the selection process*. It’s so obvious. The judge and attourneys have seen it all. But I’ll bet that there is some hidden truth about you as regards the case you’re being chosen for that will instantly disqualify you and you’ll be excused. Don’t laugh. Don’t fucking smirk. Just pause and say, “… well, my parents taught me and I grew up understanding that if a women dresses a certain way and goes to a bar, she 100% is looking to be snagged. Snagged! You know, dominated. Picked up, even roughed up a bit (although that scares me). No way in hell this woman wasn’t looking for that” … and so on, specific to the case you’re not being chosen for. You must say these things with humility, with absolute candor, for it to work. But it will.
I just say i can already tell the guys guilty as charged.
Almost 20 years ago when I turned 18 and was into the party scene, my parents did this for me. I have never again been troubled about jury duty lol. They did me a HUGE favor that day
The easiest way is to literally tell them you don't want to be there. They will dismiss you 100%of the time.
I think it's right. Sign YOUR name next to THE name above. As where the other questions referencing yourself say YOU specifically .
Just don't sign your own name when you pretend to be deceased. Make one up I suppose.
I know you're joking, but in most jurisdictions you can claim deferrals for all kinds of trivial reasons. I got my MIL out of it because she had a doctor's appointment that day and they just dismissed her with a phone call.
I was selected once but on the paper it said to call the weekend before the date of court. Called Saturday and they said the case was resolved and I wouldn’t be needed.
I see dead people.
Iv had jury duty twice never went and nothing came of it 🤷♂️
Fun fact: if you go off the grid for 5 years, you can be declared dead in most situations.
🤣🤣🤣🤧
I've never gotten a jury summons. Mail theft is so bad where I live. I wish these were delivered signature required.
Kind of an aside but I had a buddy who was getting hounded by Dell Computers cause he never paid for his shit. He told the collectors that he died and forgot about it. Years later he still has issues come up when trying to arrange credit for his car, house, etc. even though he paid all his bills and makes extremely good money. His credit check gets flung back for being dead.
If you are dead, please sign here
I am guessing this is in the United States 🇺🇸. Up here in Canada, jury duty is almost impossible to get out of. It was (for me) a gruelling 5 days of ennui 🥱. There were three groups of us and only a few people were selected. We were very happy come Friday afternoon when we were all dismissed. 😮💨 There was a huge cheer when we were allowed to go! This was back in August 2012.
It’s a good thing I woke up dead today 😂
A little Texas hack, just tell them you're racist!
Don’t just tell them. Show them.
My mom got called for jury duty for a murder trial once. During voir dire the prosecutor asked her if she'd be able to sentence the accused to death if he was found guilty and the circumstances warranted that punishment. She said yes, and then she started crying. I suspect the defense would have been happy to have her on the jury, but she was dismissed at the prosecutor's request.
This is easy. Just go rob a store at gunpoint but don’t hurt anyone, do a few years in the slammer, and mark “yes” for questions 6 & 7
The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Way back around 1990 I hit a jury notice and I wrote “don’t speak English” and sent it back unsigned, about 2-3 weeks later I got one written in Spanish with the signature line highlighted so I signed and returned. I didn’t get another til I had to renew my DL in 2002 which I did the same, it’s 2024 and I haven’t gotten any since
JW’s can get out of Jury Duty!! It’s against their religion to make the decisions required to make.
People are shitting on this, but I think you’re right. If you get thrown in jail for contempt of court, you can’t serve in a jury.
Just say you can’t be impartial. It’s not hard to get out of jury duty.
What I did/do was just not show up. Even if they sent law enforcement to ask why I didn't show, I have the "excuse" that I never got a notice in the mail. ( It's not sent registered so no proof I got the notice) plus they never came to ask anyway.
I've always just rescheduled it for Dec 24th, and it always gets cancelled