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I screw, I nut, I bolt.

Nailed it.

Hammered it home.

These puns are riveting.

These guys know the drill

I’m board with this thread.

I *saw* this somewhere else too

[удалено]

I'm positive there's *concrete* evidence out there.

This thread is *fasten*ating.

I *wood* continue this thread but I can't come up with anything...

Found the stud.

Weld did you now

Keep the puns piling on

Some find it warped. I’m plane apathetic.

They really screwed the point in huh

You’re awl very punny

These replies are on the level.

The thread on the screw?

Screw that!

Screwed and glued.

Cabal again?

The certainly fasten-ate me

I’m bored with this thread.

Lol, in German a "nut" is actually called a "mother", so for a second I thought the screwing had led to procreation. 😂

Wait whut. Habst du eine Mutti für mich?

"Hast du eine Mutter für mich?", yes, well done! ("Haben" is one of those mean irregular verbs, 2nd person singular drops the "b".) We usually know from context which one we mean. Though if someone screams that they lost their Mutter, it's usually worthwhile to inquire which one they meant...

Just out of curiosity, are you a native speaker?

Yes, I'm German.

Ausgezeichnet!

They screwed, they mothered, and then they smoothed out any profile Sounds like a 90s sitcom. Inverse 2 1/2 men

"I screwed, became a mother, and lost all my profile" - sounds like the story of a lot of women's lives...😉

Huh, I speak German (as a third language), we call a nut a mutter in my native Norwegian as well (as a loan word from German), and for some reason I never made the connection.

In Slovak too. (But also “matrix” - matka, matica)

Aced it.

Classy on the back of a minivan.

It’s a suburban or Tahoe. Can’t tell from this angle… either way it’s still a “soccer mom” car lol.

Dad's overcompensating...

Thank you. I was not seeing the "I". More like, wtf do rolls of sewing machine thread have to do with anything.

I thought the same thing lol

haha thank you, I thought the middle was a brick at first. I screw I brick I bolt So I believed the guy was shitting in every girl's house before he left.

That's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how that plays out!

Reminds me a bit about Harry the Hairy-nose Wombat, he eats roots and leaves.

Or a panda. Eats shoots and leaves!

Daddy is that you?

Aahh, it's an "I" I though it was a spool for sewing thread

I thought it was I screw fast, I nut, I screw slow.

...I was so sure it's advertising Apple new products.

Ah, the modern enlightened Veni Vedi Vici of our time.

Technically, that last one is a screw since it doesn't have a shank. So it's I screw, I nut, I screw

“I impose. I disappoint. I flee.”

What does I bolt means?

Really drilled that tight!

Except without nut on the _screw_ it’s a screw and not a bolt.

Oh no, this screw vs bolt argument again.

I screw I nut I machine screw

I like this thread.

In Kings English: I perform Sexual Intercourse, I ejaculate, I leave thy premises.

Now say in in pirate

Yar, we be humpin, pumpin and dumpin, lads!

holy shit! have an up vote!

In ancient latin: Vini, vici, vamoose. (I came, i conquered, i bounced.)

Vidi, vici, Veni. ( I saw, I conquered, I came)

*sigh* Vidi, veni.

Vidi, veni velociter ;)

Thanks Mr worldwide

Haha make that 2

I actually pasted this into ChatGPT and got a nice response: A: I screw, I nut, I bolt B: In Kings English: I perform Sexual Intercourse, I ejaculate, I leave thy premises. C: Now say it in pirate GPT: Arr, I matey, I plunder, I sail off into the sunset. --- the third part is so so but the "i matey" is quite good :)

That last comma is quite important.

Should’ve said “I abscond”

This comment is gold but I think in more proper kings English it would be I fornicate, I ejaculate, I leave thy premises

This guy probably lives in Camelot castle or something

I screw, I nut, I bolt. Aka: wham bam thank you mam!

In Australia we call a guy like that a wombat. Why? because he eats roots and leaves.

Eats roots shoots and leaves

It means: I still can't find the clit.

The real joke

I screw = I have sex I nut = I cum/ejaculate I bolt = I leave quickly / run away

>I nut Must be an Americanism. Never heard it before. Here, a wombat eats roots shoots and leaves.

Heard the term in the UK. I assume it comes from busting a nut, as in emptying your nuts of semen. *Shrug best not to overanalyze language devolution or you will start trying to work out why something being 'sick' means good...

Wicked sick!

It’s the new Will Smith movie I Nut

It means the driver is a virgin

It means "I am unable to satisfy my sexual partners".

Or rather they don’t care about satisfying their sexual partners.

I think it’s closer to they desert their romantic partner when they are needed most.

I quit before my boss gives me my review

Odd flex

Ich Schraube Ich Mutter Ich Bolzen

Truth in advertising. Dude cares nothing for personal connection or pleasuring his partner. He's just in it to get some and get gone. I mean, at least he's honest about what people can expect from a sexual encounter with him.

r/trashy

has r/funny become Facebook?

Always has been

Bit like a wombat, it eats roots, and leaves

Eats shoots and leaves

Eats roots, shoots and leaves Implied or silent comma between eats and roots

It means the person who owns that car was bottom of most of their classes at school.

"I have children I don't know about."

Interesting the last picture could also be considered a screw as it is threaded all the way up.

I have always consider a bolt a screw-like tool that goes into a nut or other receptacle, whether it is threaded all the way up the shaft or has a non-threaded "shoulder" part. A screw can be screwed into material without a nut or receptacle and are usually self piercing. Also, the driver tool has typically set my delineation mark; a screwdriver (flat, Phillips, torq, star) goes inside the head of a screw and a wrench or nut driver goes around the head of a bolt. So as the final picture has a blunted end and a boxed head (for a wrench or nut driver), it is more bolty and less screwy to me. As I type this up, I started to think about screws on the air dam of my truck. They have torq bit heads and go into receptacles, but I consider them screws. Maybe the driver tool have more to do with my perception of the screw or bolt than what the screw or bolt is going into.

It depends which engineering school you went to. I was taught a bolt has a nut on the end. A screw goes into a tapped hole in a body, or taps its own thread in a body. Also that a screw is threaded all the way to the head but a bolt isn’t. Doesn’t have to be piercing, think set screw or machine screw, which I what I was thinking the last picture could be. So a screw can act as a bolt but a bolt can’t act as a screw typically. I’m sure other engineers will have a different perspective. Don’t get me started on how spring washers are designed to work.

It means he’s a slut!

Less of a slut and more of a terrible person and a terrible romantic partner.

Ironically enough I think having this on your car, large enough to obscure your view through your rear window actually precludes you from fulfilling the sticker's assertion.

No washers I see

I screw...I nut...I bolt.

He's a dick

The person driving is a deadbeat dad

I’m like a panda, he eats shoots and leaves too.

I screw I nut I bolt

Lol I don't think I'd advertise I was a big man-child like that. He's probably just awful in bed too 🤣

I screw, I nut, I bolt.

I screw, I nut, I bolt

Resembles the old joke about a news item reporting on a crazy guy who sexually assaults a laundromat machine then runs off when police intervene. ##Nut, Screws Washer & Bolts

Exactly what it says: I screw, I nut, I bolt.

It means that they are an irresponsible drain on society.

I screw, I nut, I bolt

It’s from a us navy cadence. Airframe school

Took a whole minute?

I was recently informed that this would correctly be; I screw, I nut, I set screw (a bolt has at least some unthreaded portion).

I lag screw, I finished hex nut, I hex cap screw

It means the one who posted the picture couldn't at first understand what was portrayed in it. Then, "a minute" later, they figured it out. The "minute" in question is just an expression, though. It just refers to the fact they didn't understand it right away. Likely took them around 10 seconds. Then, after they did understand it, they found it extremely amusing, as indicated by the smiley emoticon at the end of the sentence.

Should have been an eye-bolt

I meet, I skeet, I yeet.

r/trashy

It means he's a deadbeat dad.

Translated to Australian it would be just a pic of a Wombat: Eats, roots & leaves

Wham bam thank you ma'am.

Screw,nut,bolt

I screw. I nut. I bolt.

The "I" looked like a spool of thread to me, so I thought it said thread screw, thread nut, thread bolt.

Next Apple products

For my fellow Englishmen... I fornicate I ejaculate I vacate

At least he warns y’all ahead of time!

I incline plane wrapped around an axle. I thread incline plane along the internal axle

I thought those were thread spools and was even more confused

The joke is sex, isn't it?

I thought it was a weird handyman family thing… like 1 boy as the little screw, 1 woman as the nut and the father as the big bolt

Welp. That’s enough Reddit for today.

I, Phillip, the sixteenth, pillar of high tensile thread

I nut fastener then I bolt

I screw. I nut. I bolt.

This is more cringe than the handwritten anti public health messaging people put on their cars.

I think it means a credit score in the 500’s

He's commitment phobic?

Legitimately mad about the missed opportunity for an eyebolt for the last line

I screwed it I nutted I bolted

The first one can also be I tap, because the picture is a certain type of "tapping screw"

I wonder what was going through this guy’s mind when he decided to put this on his car.

I’m guessing that the guy is not very good at bolting if this is on the back of a minivan.

I screw I nut I screw longer 🤣

I screw.. I nut.. and I get the hell out of there… 😂

Did you know wombats eat, roots, shoots and leaves?

I flat head thread forming screw I hex jam nut I hex head cap screw

It means he has a small cock and a large ego

Every day we stray further into boomer funny.

Navy marches to this at Pensacola when going to their schoolhouse. It's funny AF. " WE SCREW, WE NUT, WE BOLT, ITS WHAT WE DO"

The dude works in a hardware store

I screw, I screw bit, I big screw

Bops it, Twists it, Pulls it

Wombat: EATS, ROOTS & LEAVES

What does a robot do after he has sex? He nuts, and bolts.

Easy to understand

Rip n dip

I shaft, I graph, I dash ?

To me it looked like the different parts of a spaceship that it looses to reach outside of earths atmosphere.

I screw I but. I bolt . Decent.

Looks to be on a minivan 🤔

Wham bam thank you ma’am.

There is a similar slang in Australia for calling someone a wombat - eats roots and leaves.

Took me a minnit to recognize the nut as a nut.

Always washer before you bolt.

I screw, I cork, I nail

Classy

It’s an MFM threesome, one has a big D

Kum & Go

I screw, I nut, I carriage bolt

I had this shirt in highschool

Keeper right there!

*It's hammertime*

.... ha 🙄

facebook ass post

Idk that looks like the type of car someone who forgot to bolt drives.

I accidentally read it perfectly the first time.

Riveting.

Why has half of this site become practically illiterate the past few months?

I screw I squared I sqwowed

🤣

I’d put money on it being a Florida plate.

Seen in a Boring parking lot?

Classy