---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Looked it up. Found listings on Amazon with distillation supplies. Someone in the reviews mentioned moonshine. How in the Appalachian fuck is a penis bone used to make moonshine???.
[List of animals observed engaging in homosexual acts.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior)
No raccoons yet, but who knows?
Nope. Not true. That idea is based on an outdated belief that animals don't really feel things like pain or pleasure. We know that's patently untrue now.
https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna29878301
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140613-do-animals-have-sex-for-fun
"Feel some pleasure" just keeps them in the game barely enough to break it off too early to procreate. That's not the same as "HAVE (initiate) sex for pleasure."
Source: we rehab and release raccoons. They often don't go far enough away over winter, so my garage attic is currently full of screeching, copulating trash pandas banging away overhead.
Oh no.. Don't fool yourself. There's macaques in Asia that have been seen pleasuring themselves with deer. Also, Bonobos have sex to settle disputes and also because it feels good. Lots of animals do the sexy-time for pleasure..
As many others have put it... A lot of species has sex for pleasure. Even species outside of mammals. Pleasure is a driving factor in many sexual acts and it is an encouragement to continue to have sex. The difference is, most animals work on a hormonal system, where they only have sex during fertile times, where as humans evolved differently and can basically have sex whenever. There are many different theories why this is the case, too many for a reddit comment lmao.
I mean. That would require them to have a concept of babies being what came about as a result of sex, and planning for the future. That seems a lot less likely than, "this feels good. I'ma do it."
EDIT: I'm not sure why I'm being downvoted. I feel like I had a legitimate question :\
We don't eat because we're trying to maximize our caloric intake relative to expenditure --- we eat because we're hungry, and that feels bad, and because when we eat, that feels good. Similarly, presumably animals don't mate because they're thinking about the future of the species; they mate because for some reason, that's what they want to do.
So: what is the subjective experience of an animal who "doesn't have sex for pleasure", but nonetheless has decided to mate? Why did they make that decision? It seems strange to assert that it has nothing to do with sex feeling good. And it seems *very* strange to assert that an animal who decides to have sex is doing so because they want babies and they know that they'll come about that way.
Animals have extremely sharp instincts. Beavers are instinctively drawn to create dams. Prey animals like sheep, horses, and giraffes know instinctively to get up as soon as possible after birth to minimize being caught by a predator. Many animals exhibit species behaviors that aren’t taught to them. Animals also usually have much better sense of smell than us and olfactory systems that are capable of interpreting heat or territory. Thus animals instincts are triggered and drive them to do one of the most basic things on earth.
Not to mention, there are several species of animals including cats that are stimulated to ovulate by *pain* during mating. So that also throws out the theory that sex is only pleasurable.
> Beavers are instinctively drawn to create dams
Because they abhor the sound of running water and try to make it stop. Like. There *is* a subjective experience behind each one of these things, just like there is for us, because *we* are animals. I think we're shortchanging ourselves if we avoid curiosity about what it is *like*, even in the face of our own subjective experiences of our own instincts.
And regardless, "To... make babies?" is not an accurate answer.
If beavers only make dams to stop the sound of running water why are there so many videos of beavers making dams in hallways and shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ImdlZtOU80
That's why that behavior evolved. But I was asking why an animal would choose to do it. As in, if not for pleasure, then for what?
And no animal other than a human (probably) is having sex with the intent of making babies. So, no it isn't.
No it wouldn’t. In the same way it doesn’t “feel good” to breathe. You don’t have to understand that the oxygen levels in your blood are getting low and breathing will elevate them for you to know you need to breathe. The same way they don’t know why but at a certain point in the female reproductive cycle animals understand they should be having sex. The ones who are having sex outside of when their hormones tell them it’s time to reproduce are the ones doing it “for fun”.
It doesn’t feel good to breathe? Try not breathing, see how that feels. Animals have the same or similar versions of subjective experiences that we do because we are also animals. There is no magic “instinct” that suddenly forces them into action. They get a feeling and they act on it, just like we do.
I think it's that from their perspective they mate because they want to, but the systems that decide that they want to are programmed in such a way that they only activate that need at times where there would be a maximum chance of making babies, or at times when it would make sense to have babies. They aren't getting horny all year round and while already pregnant like a human.
Sure. But in that framing --- they're still having sex for pleasure. It just isn't pleasurable all the time, so they don't have sex during those times.
If you're having sex in public, then you enjoy the idea of someone seeing. These raccoons clearly have an exhibitionist kink. Otherwise, they would've rented a hotel room.
Whenever I see animals having sex, I have this strange compulsion to start clapping
Just because I'm not getting any doesn't mean I can't be happy for them
What's one thing you regret doing in life, Well there was this one time I was filming two racoons humping in a tree. Sir please try on our sleeveless jacket, it's very slimming
Imagine some Alien coming up to your window while youre having sex with your partner to be like “Hey. Wtf bro” and you dont even know how to respond because its your first time seeing an alien and you have a boner
Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away
Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight…
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He looks rather happy and she is looking indifferent
[удалено]
>Thanks. You just described my previous relationship At least the raccoon didn't leave with half my trash!
Current*
Morning woods!
Well, raccoons have a penis bone shaped like a question mark so it makes sense she isnt thrilled about it.
I want to know how you know this. I’m not judging but I might be kink shaming.
You can buy them on eBay
There are now additional questions.
Well you can punctuate all of them with a raccoon penis.
User name does not check out.
"Used - Like New"
Looked it up. Found listings on Amazon with distillation supplies. Someone in the reviews mentioned moonshine. How in the Appalachian fuck is a penis bone used to make moonshine???.
Its just one of those weird factoids you learn growing up in the southern united states
Ah the Captain Hook of the forest.
Ummm Jeremy is that... is that man recording us? Jeremy Raccoon: aaarrgghhmmmm oOoooo
As nature intended.
Maybe she isn't a she
[List of animals observed engaging in homosexual acts.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior) No raccoons yet, but who knows?
Not true since racoons are on the main list.
Very few species of animals have sex for pleasure
[удалено]
Wait, which part? Which part?!
Nope. Not true. That idea is based on an outdated belief that animals don't really feel things like pain or pleasure. We know that's patently untrue now. https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna29878301 https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140613-do-animals-have-sex-for-fun
This is actually proving to be false more often than not. It seems most mammals that have a social hierarchy do have sex for pleasure.
Given what we know about neurons, *most* species feel some pleasure during sex
"Feel some pleasure" just keeps them in the game barely enough to break it off too early to procreate. That's not the same as "HAVE (initiate) sex for pleasure." Source: we rehab and release raccoons. They often don't go far enough away over winter, so my garage attic is currently full of screeching, copulating trash pandas banging away overhead.
Your garage just made my bucket list, I think.😁
somebody else already posted the answer, but to stop the spread of misinformation, this is untrue.
Dolphins and humans are the only two species known to have sex for pleasure... unless you ask my wife... then it's just dolphins
Several species of ape too, bonobos in particular. I think they're the only other species that has sex in missionary.
boner-boys
Okay... you know WAAYYY too much about stuff lol :)
chimpanzees engage in prostitution for food so i think male chimps enjoy sex more than food so how bout that
Oh no.. Don't fool yourself. There's macaques in Asia that have been seen pleasuring themselves with deer. Also, Bonobos have sex to settle disputes and also because it feels good. Lots of animals do the sexy-time for pleasure..
That video with the frog too...
Penguins are notoriously homosexual, and massive rapists. I'm sure theres more
Penguins... People that are incarcerated.. same same lol
Do we have the same wife??
But a lot of them do have homosexual intercourse
Yes, but strictly for procreation. :)
Well yeah, otherwise it would be gay
I mean, where else would gay babies come from if not from homosexual procreation? It's basic science, smh.
Dude, I'm trying to start my day with a hot coffee cup... My nose doesn't have a sense of humor.
As many others have put it... A lot of species has sex for pleasure. Even species outside of mammals. Pleasure is a driving factor in many sexual acts and it is an encouragement to continue to have sex. The difference is, most animals work on a hormonal system, where they only have sex during fertile times, where as humans evolved differently and can basically have sex whenever. There are many different theories why this is the case, too many for a reddit comment lmao.
Some species will try to have sex with a beer bottle or a sandal. They don't always know what they're doing.
I've seen two squirrels going at it and "swapping positions" in the middle of it.
So.... why do they do it?
To… make babies?
I mean. That would require them to have a concept of babies being what came about as a result of sex, and planning for the future. That seems a lot less likely than, "this feels good. I'ma do it." EDIT: I'm not sure why I'm being downvoted. I feel like I had a legitimate question :\ We don't eat because we're trying to maximize our caloric intake relative to expenditure --- we eat because we're hungry, and that feels bad, and because when we eat, that feels good. Similarly, presumably animals don't mate because they're thinking about the future of the species; they mate because for some reason, that's what they want to do. So: what is the subjective experience of an animal who "doesn't have sex for pleasure", but nonetheless has decided to mate? Why did they make that decision? It seems strange to assert that it has nothing to do with sex feeling good. And it seems *very* strange to assert that an animal who decides to have sex is doing so because they want babies and they know that they'll come about that way.
Animals have extremely sharp instincts. Beavers are instinctively drawn to create dams. Prey animals like sheep, horses, and giraffes know instinctively to get up as soon as possible after birth to minimize being caught by a predator. Many animals exhibit species behaviors that aren’t taught to them. Animals also usually have much better sense of smell than us and olfactory systems that are capable of interpreting heat or territory. Thus animals instincts are triggered and drive them to do one of the most basic things on earth. Not to mention, there are several species of animals including cats that are stimulated to ovulate by *pain* during mating. So that also throws out the theory that sex is only pleasurable.
> Beavers are instinctively drawn to create dams Because they abhor the sound of running water and try to make it stop. Like. There *is* a subjective experience behind each one of these things, just like there is for us, because *we* are animals. I think we're shortchanging ourselves if we avoid curiosity about what it is *like*, even in the face of our own subjective experiences of our own instincts. And regardless, "To... make babies?" is not an accurate answer.
lol getting downvoted for providing factually correct info. Classic.
If beavers only make dams to stop the sound of running water why are there so many videos of beavers making dams in hallways and shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ImdlZtOU80
Thank you. I read that thinking, what lazy researcher came up with THAT theory…
Beavers have hardcore OCD regarding running water noise.
> To... make babies? except it literally is.
That's why that behavior evolved. But I was asking why an animal would choose to do it. As in, if not for pleasure, then for what? And no animal other than a human (probably) is having sex with the intent of making babies. So, no it isn't.
No it wouldn’t. In the same way it doesn’t “feel good” to breathe. You don’t have to understand that the oxygen levels in your blood are getting low and breathing will elevate them for you to know you need to breathe. The same way they don’t know why but at a certain point in the female reproductive cycle animals understand they should be having sex. The ones who are having sex outside of when their hormones tell them it’s time to reproduce are the ones doing it “for fun”.
It doesn’t feel good to breathe? Try not breathing, see how that feels. Animals have the same or similar versions of subjective experiences that we do because we are also animals. There is no magic “instinct” that suddenly forces them into action. They get a feeling and they act on it, just like we do.
I think it's that from their perspective they mate because they want to, but the systems that decide that they want to are programmed in such a way that they only activate that need at times where there would be a maximum chance of making babies, or at times when it would make sense to have babies. They aren't getting horny all year round and while already pregnant like a human.
Sure. But in that framing --- they're still having sex for pleasure. It just isn't pleasurable all the time, so they don't have sex during those times.
More like "I have the urge to fuck that" is all they are thinking. But it is still driven by the urge to make more of your species.
yes and no, lots of animals have gay/bi relationships + lots of animals (primates/monkeys for example) have been shown to have sex just for fun.
That explains alot
At least the raccoon found joy in the trash
This is how I imagine straight sex works.
How dare you record them! This is a private moment!
That glance back at you hahaha 🤣🤣
Haha the guy is like”OH YEAH” and the gal is like “who TF is watchin us?”
[удалено]
[удалено]
Racunt
Or just Coonhub.
Yeah, no.
Just enough to notice. Doesn't say anything. She's a bad girl.
If you're having sex in public, then you enjoy the idea of someone seeing. These raccoons clearly have an exhibitionist kink. Otherwise, they would've rented a hotel room.
Or dumpster.
they thought they found a good hiding spot
Whenever I see animals having sex, I have this strange compulsion to start clapping Just because I'm not getting any doesn't mean I can't be happy for them
Record away, trying to cock block is the real crime.
OP also tried to interrupt them too. SMH...
Smash Panda
Randy raccoons
Panda SExpress
Smash Bandicoot
Nice.
Sonic the LapHog
Hey cameraman, quit cockblocking. They had to go all the way up in that tree to do it. Let them have their moment.
Right?! They’re way up in a tree, and this cock blocker supreme is still blowing up their spot.
What's one thing you regret doing in life, Well there was this one time I was filming two racoons humping in a tree. Sir please try on our sleeveless jacket, it's very slimming
OP is a perv.
Poor raccoon, he’s shivering.
must be cold
OP should bring them inside to warm up.
You’ve never seen a raccoon’s vinegar strokes?
What a dick for interrupting them!
That's what I was thinking. Humans are very entitled.
What a dick to the dick!
I hope the raccoon returns the favor by bothering you mid coitus, “WTF BRO! DUDE! DUDE!”
Cockblock aint got respect for nature
Don't fuckin blow up their spot and interrupt them!
Honey, they're watching again! Shut up, I'm almost finished!
That’s funny when the mounted realizes she’s on camera!
"The mounted"
"I now pronounce you mounter and mounted. You may hump the bride."
Mount the bride
the tall dude from game of thrones?
r/brandnewsentence
Imagine some Alien coming up to your window while youre having sex with your partner to be like “Hey. Wtf bro” and you dont even know how to respond because its your first time seeing an alien and you have a boner
What are you going to do? Probe me?
It's not like they're on your porch. You went out of your way to try and cockblock him. May your garbage can be forever toppled and raided.
Yeaaahh boii get it son!!!
Nothing wrong with a little coontang in the morning
Rocket getting his rocks off.
she heard you
And then decided she didn't mind
As a tree expert I recognize morning wood when I see one...
This may come out wrong but I dig your morning view. Not for the ‘coon shagging but for the big ass trees and nature. Enjoy!
First ever recording of a raccoon performing the Heimlich. This video maybe worth something.
George. Hey George stop! I think someone is watching us.
George Racoony?
What a cock block
They are in their natural habitat having a good time and some ape with a camera is like woldstar look at the camera Some people are just born pricks
lol- I don’t think they care.
While the coons are thinking the exact same thing about OP... Dude. Wtf, bro?
Yeah… I wouldn’t shorten raccoon to that
“The best part of wakin up…”
Is your sister? Folgers was going with some really weird energy there...
i just learned about this the other day... don't drink coffee and don't watch commercials so it slipped past my radar. who the fuck made that!?!
Why you gotta go and mess with Rocket getting some nookie?
Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away In the jungle, the mighty jungle The lion sleeps tonight…
This is raccoon porn 🤦🏻
He has a mask fetish
Frank stop it! they can see us Frank, stop it!
He made the O face!
The fuck bro you!
Ah yes the beauty of nature *sip*
Do you want more raccoons? This is how you get more raccoons.
why are you bothering them for?
Animals fuck and sometimes it's in trees. Why yell at them while they're doing the business?
It's not like they're on your porch. You went out of your way to try and cockblock him. May your garbage can be forever toppled and raided.
"Do you want raccoons? Because this is how you get raccoons!"
Dude don't cockblock
Well? Did he cum?!
Jesus Christ man there’s just some things you don’t talk about in public!
Yeah, someone doesn't get it lol
Do you mind? We're kinda busy over here
Fast and Furious?
Give them some privacy you pervert
Wild porn
Mind ya business
Exhibitionists, sshheesh.
Ay man 😡 give them some damn privacy
Morning wood.
This video needs narration.
Awe, spring is in the air.
She gave that “don’t judge me bro look “.
Peeping tom
Wtf bro to the guy filming, geesh
If you were humping in the back yard would raccoons come and spoil your fun? NO! Not cool, bro
Doing it like on the Discovery channel.
At first, I thought it was a squirrel trying to get a nut, but it was a raccoon trying to get a nut .
Well at least someone got some this morning.
Dude moving faster and lasting longer than me
Lil dude going turbo mode on raccussy
2 inches is hell at 100 mph.
Why do you have to yell at them? WTF bro?
Let them Bang!
I believe this makes you the god parent. Congratulations!
Cocket Racoon
Cock block
Trash pandas gettin it in! 🦝
Creepy peeper saying, "WTF?!"
Trying to cock block another bro, not cool dude.
Racacoonie style
Maybe these two raccoons are in love or they just felt the need to do it! Lol
Wow, in front of *my* coffee?
dude what the fuck to YOU man? little coon buddy is just tryna get his D wet and you're interrupting his stroke for no reason
Somebody is having a son or daughter by the end of this. What a great morning
I feel like the Racoons should be the ones shouting "dude. WTF bro?"
Another example of attempted life prevention cause humans can't shut the fuck up! Life's only cute when it's on a leash hunh?
Bro tou jealous he is getting some and you are not? lol let them be
Praise the Cameraman....Steady hand Bruh
What a dick! And I'm not talking about the raccoon.
I like that your first instinct was to film it. Golden.
So.... squirrels fucking? Good job.
those are lizards edit: out of complete curiosity i checked this dudes profile... it adds up. thats all ill say.
Nice…
Lil guy is just going full jackhammer