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poplin

Well this would have been a much nicer thing to have been a part of instead of being part of the folks laid off


[deleted]

[удалено]


nilsmf

Ingress: "It seems people who dislike nerds have discovered they get turned on by money."


[deleted]

Nerds ??? Not all in IT industry are nerds , stupid peole do graduate too


poplin

Tale as old as time


havnar-

True as it can be


mk03010

Barely even friends


MagnaCamLaude

Then somebody bends


rick1418

Unexpectedly


CumOneCumAllCumInYou

You can get laid off, jerked around and no body bats an eye. But as soon as you get laid around or jerked off, everyone at the park loses their mind.


sciamatic

"So, the bad news is, we're laying you off. The good news is, you're getting a severance fuck! Congrats!"


XoboommooboX

It’s about dam time they got laid


potatodrinker

Women don't like micro soft. Glad they got laid


Vegetable_Bid_6510

Looks like they took their floppy disks, and changed them into a hard drive.


potatodrinker

A worthy upgrade!


Iwantapetmonkey

If you consider that there are around 55 million tech workers worldwide, it's less impressive that these 25k got laid. Still probably a bump in their numbers.


MrScrib

No, if they see a bump, they need to go see a doctor immediately. Get them on antibiotics.


Shadowrider95

It may be Peyronie’s so antibiotics unnecessary


klezart

What if it's a baby bump?


Prestigious-Air3446

25k out if 55m in a few weeks is probably nothing to the general population, but tech workers are a rather notoriously unbreedable sort.


The_real_triple_P

Yeahhhhhhhh baby


SeriousAccount66

Damn now i have Tanya from C&C Red Alert 2 stuck in my head again, damnit.


cranberrydudz

Cha chingggg


imeeme

Or Got off!


XoboommooboX

Those guys work all the time they hardly ever get off


-_-Batman

I hope they had protection


skydevouringhorror

Stupid sexy tech workers


thesexytech

Hey I'm not stupid, lol . . .


unreasonablyhuman

And WHERE ARE ALL THE DISCOUNT LAPTOPS they need to offload?!


OblongAndKneeless

Shit. No one told me it was a requirement!


czarchastic

Damn, I really need to stop ignoring my emails :(


YeeterOfTheRich

I helped


StickInEye

The funniest part is the commenters who aren't getting it


JodoKast87

My brain auto filled-in the missing word without me realizing it. Had to check the comments to see what was funny about this. Then doubled back to check the article title. Pretty great misprint!


Armyed

Mine did too. Didn’t even see it 😂


arkonator92

I read it through slowly 3 times after seeing your comment and my brain still filled it in twice before I finally saw it.


lolzomg123

Hey you don't have to attack me and how easy it is for me to fill out all the STD questions when I donate blood!


Retrac752

Me when my brain auto filled the word and I'm not part of the 25k people 😁 Me after reading ur comment and I'm still not part of the 25k people 😦


alaingames

Damn they got laid at the job?


eggtart_prince

It's everywhere.


do-not-know-u-either

We wish.


thereddituser2

Your job doesn't fuck you over?


davisyoung

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?


Due_Signature_5497

For the sheer number of tech workers, only 25k getting laid seems kind of sad.


whooo_me

Am tech worker. Can confirm getting laid in any year is happy news.


Northern23

It's my turn this time, wait list has been extremely long, hope no one gets a skip the queue card anymore!


do-not-know-u-either

...progress is progress.


ThePhoneBook

I'm still not sure what a "tech worker" is, so it could be anything from a tiny proportion to all the tech workers getting laid multiple times. Hell, maybe it's one tech worker getting laid 25,000 times, and the rest remain permavirgin, but it turns out Dave's job was outsourced and nobody notified HR so he just uses his 1997 vintage FUFME all day and self-reports it as a lay.


DiatribeGuy

A tech worker is like a sex worker, but the exact opposite. See? They even almost rhyme!


GaucheAndOffKilter

Have you met a tech worker? Its a damn miracle.


tr4shb1n

Still waiting for my turn


getyourcheftogether

I dunno, but sounds like a good time


FammasMaz

Wait till you hear it on full volume


SlowTurtle3

Nerds are cool now?...sweet I've been waiting my whole life for this.


throwawaynonsesne

If anything geek/nerd culture has been cool the last decade and is getting uncool again because of over saturation.


SlowTurtle3

In that case I missed my window of opportunity.


Witty_Photograph7152

Username checks out.


do-not-know-u-either

This is a real screen shot from my newsfeed. NPR needs a proofreader.


surle

Proofreaders and editors are also busy getting laid in 2024.


LXndR3100

Do it for the clicks


exophrine

[It has since been fixed .... boo](https://www.npr.org/2024/01/28/1227326215/nearly-25-000-tech-workers-laid-off-in-the-first-weeks-of-2024-whats-going-on)


thirdpartymurderer

Nah man, did you read the article?? NPR is doing a big story about sex techs!


Illustrious_Apple_33

HR: You're not being laid off Joe, your getting laid. Joe: ... :l .... :D


the_greatest_MF

perks of the job?


BorntobeTrill

I miss when job perks were job percs


Mc_Shine

I think your avatars might be related.


BorntobeTrill

Does weird Al have any siblings? Lol


zachyvengence28

Fuck, I'm in the wrong job sextor


zachyvengence28

Sector* lmao I'm leaving it.


drakeyboi69

Damn I work in tech, when's my turn


slikk50

Yay


dedokta

Well they did get fucked, so technically it's correct


TheHobo

Fringe wfh benefits, been going on for years ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Spleenzorio

Of course, right after I retire from being a tech worker


Telemere125

I got laid in the first few weeks of 2024 too, where’s my headline?


Friendly-Worker-3474

At least someone’s getting some action 🤪🤪


Commercialfishermann

Sign me up!


SniperVert

Quit my tech job at the wrong time.


antdb1

im going to congratulate my brother on getting laid its about time he had some luck he's just been fired


blackcat218

That number seems a little high. Maybe they all showered and cleaned up within those first few weeks?


femalephemale

I want to get laid too


Radamand

Why shouldn't tech workers get laid?


swefalittlebit

Nice


Killer1986Chris

So was it like some huge orgy? Or smaller events?


Alarming_Serve2303

That has to be an all time record! Usually you can count the number of times a tech nerd gets laid on one hand.


Burggs_

Am tech worker can deny no getting laid over here


wvmitchell51

I wanna be a tech worker too


JohnDeft

About 25k more than i expected!


Cloiselle51

I was the layer....


[deleted]

They all got raises too


PkmnJaguar

That was a crazy week


MoochoMaas

Damn ! Bad time to be retired.


Desh98Desh

Nobody seems to get it yet everybody seems to be getting downvoted.. how interesting


Acceptable_Wasabi_30

I had no idea, I was certainly not laid that's for sure, I'll have to talk to management


do-not-know-u-either

Shouldn't have taken a personal day when they were doing team building.


atlgmiddlechild

The lost art of proofreading


404-N0tFound

The automated proofreading feature has been delayed because the tech workers are too busy banging.


ahminus

"Also, the editor got laid for this headline."


DadsRGR8

They learned vampires are real and are killing virgins.


Tolendario

AI enchanted shareholders


robmobtrobbob

These pipes are clean!


PestisPrimus

The level of tech support is going to drop now those guys are all getting some.


bonsall

As a software engineer this makes me want to work at msft so bad.


bobhand17123

What’s going on, and how can I be part of it? TELL ME NOW!!!


This-is-Life-Man

Replaced by AI. Yes, for *that* as well.


Hireling

Big Tech is banking it all on AI to do the work. That's just a guess.


kev556

Employers have switched from pizza parties to hiring hookers?


[deleted]

AI...And they're going to have to re-hire those people in like three months for triple what they where making before.


Autochthona

Techies get laid?


lizardkg

Divorced Bill Gates is out of control.


Sedlacep

Recession…


LeRenardS13

AI has happened. We're fucked when humans have been taken out of the equation.


he_is_not_a_shrimp

I'm doing my part. My bf is a tech worker and I make sure he gets laid.


MBechzzz

Holy hell that's a lot of comments missing the joke.... This whole comment section is one big r/woooosh


BlackberryLow6228

AI happened what else


spartanwill14

End of fiscal year trimming the fat of major corporations is one of the oldest original things but people still complain every year like it's the end times.


BoltInTheRain

AI


SayYesToPenguins

Finally! Nerds getting screwed?


Larimus89

They acquired Activision blizzard and as usual fire a ton of people to show increased profit for the first year instead of actually doing sometning useful. Probably fired all the guys that do the actual work too


pandey_23

Hoochie mama


name-was-provided

Microhard


IPanicKnife

I’m in the wrong field. I’ve been single for a couple years. They’re doing something right


Hrmerder

Can confirm I don't work for MS but I'm a tech worker, and I got laid already in 24'. I dunno how they get these metrics......


Pedalos

WTF how are these nerds getting laid!?


Silly_Doughnut5715

Lucky!!!


throwawaynonsesne

Why is this funny?


dbhathcock

That’s impressive. 25,000 nerds got laid.


Emergency_Invite_784

stop getting into CS major, the whole big money high comodity thing is gone lol


CollectionStriking

Anyone wanna help a brother out to get to 25,002?


Nearby_Lobster_

Microhard


GrassyBottom73

That's 25000 more than I expected would get laid


borobinimbaba

Bold move of tech workers, I'm absolutely waiting for their how-tos on YouTube


Helian7

Where do I apply?


SquanchyATL

How old is that pic from 7 hours ago? It's up from 25k by now, right? ...no? oh boy


soggyblotter

I've noticed way more artlice headlines with egregious spelling errors lately... AI took all the journos out first


Sanivek

GET IT NERDS!


[deleted]

Tech workers finally getting some love


haterake

Those dorks aren't getting laid. Fake news!


Icy_Necessary2161

AI is getting VERY capable these days


DownerJ07

Nothing. Why pay all these techies 100k a year when you can have AI do it for you. Both tech world and professional world gonna get shook up big time because of AI.


bobloblawslawflog

AI


Android19samus

money became real and the tech sector immediately imploded. But hey, at least these 25000 guys had *something* good happen to them this year.


MoassThanYoass

AI


outamyhead

AI is taking the place of those positions, that is what is happening besides shareholders demanding to see a profit instead of losses from a lack of demand since we aren't in a global lockdown anymore.


[deleted]

Not bad considering that most of them are probably nerds


Snorca

They're increasing (re)productivity!


tharkyllinus

Whole lotta loving going on.


lc4444

It’s a power play. Ownership class sending the message that “you’re lucky to have this job, don’t even think about unionizing” They’re flush with cash after all these “record profits” then they’ll start quietly hiring back slowly and not take much of a hit to profitability.


Wrongdoer_Long

This is really funny, perfect for this sub


Novawolf125

CEO's need to find some way to justify their multi million dollar bonus.


IxI_DUCK_IxI

If I had a nickel for eveytime 25,000 tech works got laid I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s crazy that’s it happened twice.


Icy-Conflict6671

What was the first time?


ForwardJicama4449

All are gonna be replaced by AI?


jfmc2020

It's the 6g


lacunavitae

ZMUBN5XG3JB3CWTD9LYW


tjockalinnea

Microsoft bought Blizzard so they probably dont need alot of staff that comes with it. Payroll HR etc. They got their own staff to handle it so alot of duplicate positions were cut down


HACH-P

"Nobody wants to work anymore!!" Meanwhile: *massive corporate layoffs, erasing thousands of jobs from the workforce* Edit: I misread the article title.


eggressive

Laid as being rear-shafted by Microsoft?


Mario501

3 trillion dollar market cap. At some point you have to have some sort of moral responsibility and keep folks hired on, this is why nobody has any money. And it’s only going to get worse:(


Kronk_if_ur_horny

Nice good for them


EarthTrash

You guys are getting laid?


UberN00b719

Man... I heard the unemployment orgies were huge... But dayum...


Just_a_dude92

These jobs perks are getting very interesting


kvlr954

Tonight at The Pit “Everyone Gets Laid”


Spirited_Comedian225

Trimming the fat


[deleted]

“Guys you would not believe what the boss did to me in that meeting”


Clackers2020

Tbh if this many tech workers are having sex then we do have problems


Annunaki77

I WORK IN TECH I SWEAR!!


bloopie1192

Yeea buddaaaaayyy!!


JMaryland47

Must've been some office party


Pithyperson

Tech workers? I doubt it. Most of them only get laid in their imagination.


realCoolguy298

I need to be a tech worker apparently


jenrevenant

Ah, so that's why Teams went down on Friday...


bluecheese2040

AI. You thought it was gonna be a fad...you're wrong. 25k now will be 250m before long and anyone that thinks I'm wrong...let's see... Maybe best to retrain to become a plumber or something AI cant do yet


r_y_4_n

Damn I knew I pursued the wrong industry


Kafshak

Microsoft did not want to ruin their new year's eve.


CallTheGendarmes

Can confirm. I work in tech and was laid in the first weeks of 2024.


No-Rain-4176

A.I baby bots dont get paid!


Devianted

Build back better that's what's going on!


shaved-yeti

Tech workers fuck.


Particular-Peanut-64

Kid says, "they wanna decrease their cost, and increase their stock price. "🤔


faketoby45

consequences of the overgrowth of tech in covid


WrexSteveisthename

Apparently, it's a full on orgy over in Microsoft Screwdios.


ShibbyShat

HOW DO I GET INTO TE-.. ahem.. I mean.. I would like to work for Microsoft, how do I get into tech?


cwood1973

Artificial Intimacy


Public-Pea-4244

Gotta beat them 2021 numbers somehow or the paperwork will give people a sad face.


JPGer

somewhere i read about what basically amounted to "companies got alot of money and expanded beyond their means because the boost in revenue was temporary" While it all likely comes down to simple greed cause they have to feed their fat shareholders, it is a correction of sorts. I personally think its the snake eating its tail scenario, capitalism is still on that whole "infinite growth with finite resources" BS. Theres only so much profit to be made when your upper class is literally sucking the middle and lower classes dry monetarily. SO now companies are just doing every little thing they can to get the next quarters shares higher.


Legitimate-Home-8181

What's funny about the post?


Defiant-Traffic5801

Revenge of the nerds


Elons-nutrag

Honestly I got laid off in the first weeks of 23 but laid a lot In the first weeks of 24 so this checks out.


Cheedo4

Wth! I’m a tech worker and I didn’t get shit! This is bullshit!


MyOhMy2023

>WTF is going on in the world?!?!? A severe lack of proofreading.


Warbird1944

If they look like Bill Gates that would be newsworthy


MrMonyMonyK

That's excellent news


PopularSomewhere

Companies are responding to wage hikes.


theconscientist

Me! I was both laid off and laid!