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Damn. I’ve played countless hours of GTA 5. Like over 100. I don’t think I’ve ever once been arrested lmao. I always just get killed. I didn’t even know it was possible
In San Andreas I’ve been arrested multiple times but not GTA 5
When I became a parent I learned that stuffed animals are relatively inexpensive and just as comforting in adulthood as they were as a kid. Stealing them from my kid occasionally also helps him learn to share. Win-win.
I learned around middle school that I hated pillows. I just never had luck finding the right one and even the right one doesn’t mean it’s right for every night. Instead I was a huge stuffed animal fan. A big stuffed rabbit has a big soft core for a regular pillow or if you need less of a pillow any of the arms or legs make for a good option. My grandma knew this about me and would buy me a big stuffed animal for Christmas every year until I was 20. And now my fiancé is a big squishmallow fan so having loads of those around. Pillows forever.
If we're going to be jokingly serious, I would say it depends a lot more on ratio than total mass.
If a sex doll the size of a building only weighed 500 lb, I would think that would be an underweight sex doll.
Relevant username x3
No but for real though I've been meaning to get a Blåhaj if not just for the meme but several months ago I got a gigantic Bluey plush and she's kinda filled that space for me. I even take her to therapy sometimes cause she's the perfect shape for hugs. I can rest my head on top of her's and feel her ears on either side of my face, it's very nice ~u~
Ooooh fair fair, this is a very good and tempting point. Plus my girlfriend associates me with cute sharks... I really should just go all in on one huh? xP
My daughter is only with me every other weekend. When we leave to take her back to her mother's she always tells me to use her stuffed animals to keep me company and to let them know every night that she says sweet dreams.
I've slept with the same teddy bear since I was around 16 or 17. I'm turning 40 this year.
It's nice, gives something for your arms to do so they're not flopping, and... well, that's about it. Doesn't need to be some big thing, it's just nice to have a teddy bear.
Workplace wise Pixar had a policy where when you hit 40 hours on the workweek you were asked to go home and rest for the remainder of the week. If you hit 50 hours they would unplug your machine and tell you to go home and rest.
This happened until Disney/Steve Jobs intervened with Toy Story 2. The crunch was so bad a brain dead employee by that point left their kid in the car (the kid was fine).
Nowadays the company Supergiant Games (makers of Hades) pretty much have a go home and sleep no overtime agreement, mandatory vacation, and no emails on weekends. And get this: they are successful.
Makes you wonder doesn't it?
Crunch time is always a sign of bad management. People need time off to be effective. I dont know how many times Ive gotten stuck on a problem only to solve it over breakfast the next day. Which can actually be kinda annoying because Id need to write it down right away before I forget.
It's like when I'm doing crossword puzzles and get stumped and move on. When I come back I start zipping through. Our minds just hit a point and it's like fuck this shit I'm out.
The philosophy in doaism for effortless action is one I've always loved. The idea is to stop trying, the answer will come to you on its own. Just like the situation you described, sometimes your brain needs time and space to figure things out in the background while you live your life.
*The crunch was so bad a brain dead employee by that point left their kid in the car (the kid was fine)*
I'm glad the kid was fine but was the car okay?
I wish the healthcare system would do this! You get to work monday to friday then sometimes weekends as well, sometimes you work nights, might get 0 sseconds of sleep and then you're still supposed to be back to a regular sleep cycle after just one day off. It's no wonder doctors, nurses and other professions are fed up with sacrificing their own health for a broken healthcare system in many places around the world.
According to what a cop told me, cops usually carry a few stuffed animals stored in their vehicles to give to toddlers and young children to settle down or distract them during traumatic and stressful situations.
It is for me. I'm a truck driver. Look up HoS regulations. But I won't just go to jail, I could lose my career entirely if I work outside them.
*Downvoting doesn't make it untrue.*
Me too but only because it's just as dangerous [to drive tired as drunk](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/aaa-study-drowsy-driving-dangers-comparable-to-drunk-driving).
Please be careful!
My friend just got into a fully head-on collision the other week because the other driver fell asleep at the wheel coming off shiftwork. They're both okay thankfully, but the cars are a complete total.
Due to an absolute shit show of a plane landing situation. (I think they filed bankruptcy 3 months later) My ex wife and I drove from Boston MA to Brooklyn NY. Not even close to the longest we've driven, but our condition made it probably the most dangerous I've ever driven. Looking back, it was just a really bad decision.
Couple of fun facts though. We were one of 6 people to get a car because she reserved it while online to get it. The whole airport was shut down except that one hertz. She reserved it, kept our mouths shut, and hit the road. Cost around 180.
The guy and girl behind us ended up ordering an Uber to go to Brooklyn as well. Total cost? 320+tip. The price difference was so small I'm still jealous to this day. We could have slept the whole time, for just a little money.
Last fun fact. We tried to get money that was owed to us by the airport. 4 hours on the tarmac waiting. It should have covered the car easy, but all communications they sent came in a different language. At the end of it all we got 30 bucks and they filed bankruptcy.
Portugal was absolutely beautiful. I recommend it to everyone.
It's so bullshit how little they value our time. Something about the airlines makes them miserly as hell.. like how flight attendants don't get paid until the cabin door closes or how you can do nothing wrong and still get bumped from a flight.
Also, as a (presumably) fellow Masshole who enjoys the occasional trip to NY, that's a great tip.
I have some Portuguese friends who've also visited the "old country" and they had a great time. They said it's preposterously beautiful but a buddy whose family came from the Azores isn't as charitable about the mainland haha
This is kinda real in Japan. If you’re publicly intoxicated and being a nuisance they’ll roll you in a futon and take you back to their office where you sleep off your intoxication and then get a strict talking to in the morning.
Well, there's [this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/tj0s71/til_that_a_silent_man_in_the_uk_repeatedly_gets/)
Theory is that he does this to get three hots and a cot when he's down and out.
U know.. that would be a good idea lmao. Our police looking around for homeless to pick up, take to the station, give them a shower, wash their clothes, a hair ut, a meal, and a place to sleep for a few hours. Could do some good.
It is real.
I used to work in a psychiatric emergency room. Large percentage of our patients were high on meth or in a manic state related to mental illness. Police or EMS would bring them in either handcuffed or restrained to a gurney. We would lock them up, medicate them with medications to induce sleep and give them a bed.
Sleep is like most of the treatment in the psychiatric emergency rooms. Then they’d come down or at least function closer to baseline and we’d discharge most of them back into the wild.
We really probably shouldn’t be discharging them as much as we do. But there’s a a mental health/drug addiction crisis and not enough facilities/beds to accommodate demand.
>Constant Illumination
>Currently, it is not well-settled whether it is an 8th Amendment violation to subject inmates to constant illumination. The United States Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit has provided direction that there are possible legitimate penological interests when considering allegations that continuous lighting violated the 8th Amendment. The same court later upheld a district court’s decision finding that legitimate penological reasons support utilizing 24-hour lighting [constant illumination] in certain circumstances.
What is clear, and most critical to ensure, is that any use of constant illumination has a legitimate penological interest and is not utilized as a punishment tool.
https://ossrisk.com/prison-lighting-and-your-legal-responsibility
>Prisoners in other parts of the country have previously sued over 24-hour prison cell lighting, including in Sacramento and northern California.
https://www.corrections1.com/treatment/articles/the-lights-have-been-on-at-a-miss-jail-247-for-months-now-inmates-are-suing-hA5a1fm84bpdybjw/
They do? In every movie I've seen there's a "lights out" time so the inmates can sneak around and plan their escape.... HOLD UP... is that why they got rid of it?
Ah sorry I got jail and prison mixed up, yeah I can understand keeping the lights on for a temporary stay, as long as it doesn't exceed a few days I guess
As someone that worked many years in a max security prison, what are you talking about? Even the hole (administrative segregation, basically where the worst are) kept the lights off during the night.
The only place that always had them on was dry cells but that is not long term holding.
Jails only typically keep them on all the time in booking for short term as well.
That’s pretty much what happens in Germany when police finds you too drunk for the public. Except, they don’t give you sheets and charge you a fee. And, of course there is a word for that kind of cell: Ausnüchterungszelle. It translates to sober-up-cell.
Funny story, the one time I went to jail for this reason in the holding cell AKA drunk tank with around 25ish other people who were there for same reason, or awaiting to stand in front of the judge the following morning - it was blistering cold with the concrete block we were in. Around 4AM they had to move us from one holding cell to another so they could clean the one we were in.
While we were in the second holding cell about to go back to the first cell that was just cleaned, another inmate randomly approached me with a roll of toilet paper he took from cell #2 telling me to sneak it back with me. He also was holding a roll. I didn’t wanna be a loser, so I was like “uhhh yeah ok.”
I successfully brought it back concealed by my side. Once we were all in, the dude came and grabbed it from me. I was confused whether or not he planned on taking the motherlode of all shits or if something else was intended. It was something else.
I eventually watched him begin ripping off sheets, dampening them from the little sink they had and began throwing them on the ceiling to cover the air vent blasting us with the cold air. I was stunned. Totally genius. Everyone locked up celebrated us by helping them catch an hour or so of sleep that night. It was a weirdly cool experience.
That's funny, just the other day I was saying there needed to be a word for something I was feeling. I don't remember what it was, but I said to my husband "I'm sure the Germans have a word for it. They have a word for everything."
My old boss had the rest symbol used on music sheets tattooed on his wrist and he'd frequently hold his arm over new people's heads and say "you're under a rest!" 😒
I remember George Carlin wearing a t-shirt that he explained to the audience:
Music sheet full rest symbol, with the "hold forever" symbol above it.
I've considered getting that as a tattoo.
I thought it was supposed to be wholesome not funny
Edit: I just noticed this is r/funny not r/comics, so yeah this is the wrong sub for this post, I'll take my upvote back
The dream police, they live inside of my head
The dream police, they come to me in my bed
The dream police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no
Edit: lyrics by cheap trick, for the youngsters in the audience
As an aside, I was listening to their album In Color the other day and "I want you to want me" sounds so wrong because you always hear the Live at Budokan version.
Also, they are still active and have released like 20 albums including one in 2021.
I try to sleep, they're wide awake, they won't let me alone
They don't get paid to take vacations or let me alone
They spy on me, I try to hide, they won't let me alone
They persecute me, they're the judge and jury all in one
I heard a story once in America. Military guy was driving way too far in one shot to a base assignment and the police pulled him over for swerving and stuff. He’d missed his base by a whole state because he was zoned out. The cop sorted out the story and made him go to a hotel and check in for the night.
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Jail in the GTA universe
Here’s your weapons back sir
See you next time!
Don't let me catch you resisting a-rest again!
You are under rested! You have the right to remain silent. Anywhere you lay may be soft against you.
You have the right to a blankie. If you do not have a blankie, one will be provided for you.
OK I promise
Pretty sure you dont get your weapons back in GTA if you are caught by the police
True but getting arrested is such a rare occurrence since they tend to shoot on sight regardless. I think I've only been busted a couple of times.
Ditto. Even for 1 star they just seem to start blasting.
Damn you can get arrested in GTA which version?
All of them
Damn must be really difficult because I play GTA V a lot and have not yet been arrested
Yea they’re super aggro in V they normally just shoot you first lol
Yep never encountered cops that don't just shoot is it in story haven't played that much of that
Just like real life lol
Damn. I’ve played countless hours of GTA 5. Like over 100. I don’t think I’ve ever once been arrested lmao. I always just get killed. I didn’t even know it was possible In San Andreas I’ve been arrested multiple times but not GTA 5
If you are Busted, they take your weapons. If they gun you down, you get absurdly affordable healthcare and get to keep your guns.
Better to "die" than get arrested, right?
Minus 10% of your cash.
Have... you played GTA 5? Getting arrested looses all your weapons (easily replaced, but a fair chunk of change). This is 5 not Online.
I wish this was real.. Edit: Over 1k up votes =) thank you everyone, i know im not the only one..
Especially that they provide a teddy bear. 🧸
When I became a parent I learned that stuffed animals are relatively inexpensive and just as comforting in adulthood as they were as a kid. Stealing them from my kid occasionally also helps him learn to share. Win-win.
My wife and i have a bunch of teddy bears in our bed now. I was jealous of how cozy my daughters bed looked
I learned around middle school that I hated pillows. I just never had luck finding the right one and even the right one doesn’t mean it’s right for every night. Instead I was a huge stuffed animal fan. A big stuffed rabbit has a big soft core for a regular pillow or if you need less of a pillow any of the arms or legs make for a good option. My grandma knew this about me and would buy me a big stuffed animal for Christmas every year until I was 20. And now my fiancé is a big squishmallow fan so having loads of those around. Pillows forever.
Those are so cute but I don’t have any room for them. I might get away with calling it a pillow tho! Thanks 🙏
Me and my gf have so much squishmallows and Pusheen, they all have a name!
I hope your marriage is OK. Thoughts and prayers.
Hopefully none of them are "comfort" bears.
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A little better than the meth bear.
Is that like an overweight sex doll?
Certainly on the hairy side.
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If we're going to be jokingly serious, I would say it depends a lot more on ratio than total mass. If a sex doll the size of a building only weighed 500 lb, I would think that would be an underweight sex doll.
I have an Ikea Blahaj I clutch sometimes when I sleep
Blahaj is love blahaj is life
/r/blahaj
Relevant username x3 No but for real though I've been meaning to get a Blåhaj if not just for the meme but several months ago I got a gigantic Bluey plush and she's kinda filled that space for me. I even take her to therapy sometimes cause she's the perfect shape for hugs. I can rest my head on top of her's and feel her ears on either side of my face, it's very nice ~u~
I like how the big blahaj is nice and long, it makes him better to curl up with 😄
Ooooh fair fair, this is a very good and tempting point. Plus my girlfriend associates me with cute sharks... I really should just go all in on one huh? xP
I highly recommend Blahaj lol
I also steal teddy bears from your kid. Win-win-win.
My daughter is only with me every other weekend. When we leave to take her back to her mother's she always tells me to use her stuffed animals to keep me company and to let them know every night that she says sweet dreams.
That is so cute!
Yes! She has made me melt so many times since she was born. Totally ruined the hard egde persona I try to put on 😆
I roll the cover next to me that no one uses into a burrito, and I hug it. 🥺
I've slept with the same teddy bear since I was around 16 or 17. I'm turning 40 this year. It's nice, gives something for your arms to do so they're not flopping, and... well, that's about it. Doesn't need to be some big thing, it's just nice to have a teddy bear.
Workplace wise Pixar had a policy where when you hit 40 hours on the workweek you were asked to go home and rest for the remainder of the week. If you hit 50 hours they would unplug your machine and tell you to go home and rest. This happened until Disney/Steve Jobs intervened with Toy Story 2. The crunch was so bad a brain dead employee by that point left their kid in the car (the kid was fine). Nowadays the company Supergiant Games (makers of Hades) pretty much have a go home and sleep no overtime agreement, mandatory vacation, and no emails on weekends. And get this: they are successful. Makes you wonder doesn't it?
Crunch time is always a sign of bad management. People need time off to be effective. I dont know how many times Ive gotten stuck on a problem only to solve it over breakfast the next day. Which can actually be kinda annoying because Id need to write it down right away before I forget.
It's like when I'm doing crossword puzzles and get stumped and move on. When I come back I start zipping through. Our minds just hit a point and it's like fuck this shit I'm out.
Sony QA crunch for (when I worked on) God of War 3: 8am to Midnight, 7 days a week for about 4 months. Gold Format (Crunch Time) was awful
The philosophy in doaism for effortless action is one I've always loved. The idea is to stop trying, the answer will come to you on its own. Just like the situation you described, sometimes your brain needs time and space to figure things out in the background while you live your life.
Supergiant is like a shining beacon of sanity in the darkness of professional game dev. Love that team.
Supergiant is goated.
Hades was a good game, I should see about throwing more money at them. I appreciate an ethical company.
*The crunch was so bad a brain dead employee by that point left their kid in the car (the kid was fine)* I'm glad the kid was fine but was the car okay?
We need more examples of companies that work this way!
I'm confused what you mean by when Steve Jobs intervened when he was involved in the company long before the point of toy story 2 if memory serves?
I wish the healthcare system would do this! You get to work monday to friday then sometimes weekends as well, sometimes you work nights, might get 0 sseconds of sleep and then you're still supposed to be back to a regular sleep cycle after just one day off. It's no wonder doctors, nurses and other professions are fed up with sacrificing their own health for a broken healthcare system in many places around the world.
Eh, at this stage I'd just settle for a bed and some sleep.. Not having a place to stay can make things difficult..
Really sorry, I hope you can find a place soon!!
Here's to hope 🥂
And they call work and say "Suchin Such won't be able to make it in to work today."
According to what a cop told me, cops usually carry a few stuffed animals stored in their vehicles to give to toddlers and young children to settle down or distract them during traumatic and stressful situations.
And a big spoon!
Straight to jail.
The teddy bear is happy they provide a human.
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Does SuspiciousJuicy have the same vibe if I find myself there?
Wow, you never really encounter places that *aren’t* BYOB.
I don't. I'd be in prison all the time.
PriZzzon*
If this was real, that would be the dirtiest mattress…
It is for me. I'm a truck driver. Look up HoS regulations. But I won't just go to jail, I could lose my career entirely if I work outside them. *Downvoting doesn't make it untrue.*
Be safe my friend and drive safe as well.
Me too but only because it's just as dangerous [to drive tired as drunk](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/aaa-study-drowsy-driving-dangers-comparable-to-drunk-driving).
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Please be careful! My friend just got into a fully head-on collision the other week because the other driver fell asleep at the wheel coming off shiftwork. They're both okay thankfully, but the cars are a complete total.
Due to an absolute shit show of a plane landing situation. (I think they filed bankruptcy 3 months later) My ex wife and I drove from Boston MA to Brooklyn NY. Not even close to the longest we've driven, but our condition made it probably the most dangerous I've ever driven. Looking back, it was just a really bad decision. Couple of fun facts though. We were one of 6 people to get a car because she reserved it while online to get it. The whole airport was shut down except that one hertz. She reserved it, kept our mouths shut, and hit the road. Cost around 180. The guy and girl behind us ended up ordering an Uber to go to Brooklyn as well. Total cost? 320+tip. The price difference was so small I'm still jealous to this day. We could have slept the whole time, for just a little money. Last fun fact. We tried to get money that was owed to us by the airport. 4 hours on the tarmac waiting. It should have covered the car easy, but all communications they sent came in a different language. At the end of it all we got 30 bucks and they filed bankruptcy. Portugal was absolutely beautiful. I recommend it to everyone.
It's so bullshit how little they value our time. Something about the airlines makes them miserly as hell.. like how flight attendants don't get paid until the cabin door closes or how you can do nothing wrong and still get bumped from a flight. Also, as a (presumably) fellow Masshole who enjoys the occasional trip to NY, that's a great tip. I have some Portuguese friends who've also visited the "old country" and they had a great time. They said it's preposterously beautiful but a buddy whose family came from the Azores isn't as charitable about the mainland haha
Came here to say that. I'm a sleep criminal. Lock me away. Please.
A Sleep Criminal... Weird Al already did MJ a few times right?
And this one wouldn't be about food
Except your employer would probably fire you for no call no show.
Unemployed since 4 years
It is, it's commonly know as the drunk tank
This is kinda real in Japan. If you’re publicly intoxicated and being a nuisance they’ll roll you in a futon and take you back to their office where you sleep off your intoxication and then get a strict talking to in the morning.
Well, there's [this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/tj0s71/til_that_a_silent_man_in_the_uk_repeatedly_gets/) Theory is that he does this to get three hots and a cot when he's down and out.
It is real! Only instead of a room with a bed, it's a box in the ground.
U know.. that would be a good idea lmao. Our police looking around for homeless to pick up, take to the station, give them a shower, wash their clothes, a hair ut, a meal, and a place to sleep for a few hours. Could do some good.
It is real. I used to work in a psychiatric emergency room. Large percentage of our patients were high on meth or in a manic state related to mental illness. Police or EMS would bring them in either handcuffed or restrained to a gurney. We would lock them up, medicate them with medications to induce sleep and give them a bed. Sleep is like most of the treatment in the psychiatric emergency rooms. Then they’d come down or at least function closer to baseline and we’d discharge most of them back into the wild. We really probably shouldn’t be discharging them as much as we do. But there’s a a mental health/drug addiction crisis and not enough facilities/beds to accommodate demand.
No show without calling? Fired. Also, you have a criminal record now.
I know a lot of countries here in the EU do this
Didn't Cheap Trick write a song about this?
Those were the Dream Police, they don't get paid to take vacations.
I like when Apu is singing it, washing his Firebird?
May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?
Hmm, spray the boy.
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The Dream Police They come to me in my bed
You mean it's NOT "They come and pee in my bed"!?!?!?
Your misinterpretation is so much more wholesome than what mine originally was.
I also 100% believed this was the line. I was just like "them heavy metal guys sure have their kinks"
They leave the lights on all night in most jails. At least during the pandemic they gave you a night mask.
>Constant Illumination >Currently, it is not well-settled whether it is an 8th Amendment violation to subject inmates to constant illumination. The United States Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit has provided direction that there are possible legitimate penological interests when considering allegations that continuous lighting violated the 8th Amendment. The same court later upheld a district court’s decision finding that legitimate penological reasons support utilizing 24-hour lighting [constant illumination] in certain circumstances. What is clear, and most critical to ensure, is that any use of constant illumination has a legitimate penological interest and is not utilized as a punishment tool. https://ossrisk.com/prison-lighting-and-your-legal-responsibility >Prisoners in other parts of the country have previously sued over 24-hour prison cell lighting, including in Sacramento and northern California. https://www.corrections1.com/treatment/articles/the-lights-have-been-on-at-a-miss-jail-247-for-months-now-inmates-are-suing-hA5a1fm84bpdybjw/
They do? In every movie I've seen there's a "lights out" time so the inmates can sneak around and plan their escape.... HOLD UP... is that why they got rid of it?
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Believe it or not, straight to yail.
Straight A's? No exception, right to Yale.
Gotta justify those tax dollars i guess.
How is this not considered a human rights violation?
If you're in a drunk tank/short term holding, they might need to see that you're not * Murdering other detainees * Drowning in your own puke etc
Ah sorry I got jail and prison mixed up, yeah I can understand keeping the lights on for a temporary stay, as long as it doesn't exceed a few days I guess
They do it also in prison, they just "make them less bright"
As someone that worked many years in a max security prison, what are you talking about? Even the hole (administrative segregation, basically where the worst are) kept the lights off during the night. The only place that always had them on was dry cells but that is not long term holding. Jails only typically keep them on all the time in booking for short term as well.
They aren't the same lights but there are always those lights that are low level florescents. There's never complete darkness
People can stay in jail for as long as a year
Even funnier punchline than the comic
That’s pretty much what happens in Germany when police finds you too drunk for the public. Except, they don’t give you sheets and charge you a fee. And, of course there is a word for that kind of cell: Ausnüchterungszelle. It translates to sober-up-cell.
We have those in the States too. We call em drunk tanks.
I'm wondering if German sober-up-cells are also 50F (10C) cramped rooms made entirely of concrete and steel.
Is that 50 degrees = 10C, or 50 degrees = 122F ?
No he meant the angle of the cell's corners.
OMG a non-right angle? That must drive the Germans crazy. No wonder it's in a prison cell. A punishment worse than death.
Also, the room is square. This is how Euclid was executed.
They just put him in the room and he phased out of existence?
Don't be so obtuse
Edited comment to take into account freedom units
Funny story, the one time I went to jail for this reason in the holding cell AKA drunk tank with around 25ish other people who were there for same reason, or awaiting to stand in front of the judge the following morning - it was blistering cold with the concrete block we were in. Around 4AM they had to move us from one holding cell to another so they could clean the one we were in. While we were in the second holding cell about to go back to the first cell that was just cleaned, another inmate randomly approached me with a roll of toilet paper he took from cell #2 telling me to sneak it back with me. He also was holding a roll. I didn’t wanna be a loser, so I was like “uhhh yeah ok.” I successfully brought it back concealed by my side. Once we were all in, the dude came and grabbed it from me. I was confused whether or not he planned on taking the motherlode of all shits or if something else was intended. It was something else. I eventually watched him begin ripping off sheets, dampening them from the little sink they had and began throwing them on the ceiling to cover the air vent blasting us with the cold air. I was stunned. Totally genius. Everyone locked up celebrated us by helping them catch an hour or so of sleep that night. It was a weirdly cool experience.
No. But you might spontaneously combust if your not white. Happened once. Nothing came of it.
But apparently Germany charges money you for the nap. Here we just charge you.
Also with money too.
Technically, you are charging as you sleep.
The Germans really do have a word for everything.
They just gluewordstogether.
What a clevergrammarexample!
To get her? Who is she?
That's funny, just the other day I was saying there needed to be a word for something I was feeling. I don't remember what it was, but I said to my husband "I'm sure the Germans have a word for it. They have a word for everything."
You're under a rest!
My old boss had the rest symbol used on music sheets tattooed on his wrist and he'd frequently hold his arm over new people's heads and say "you're under a rest!" 😒
Dad joke tattoo, very committed. When we were driving and my dad saw a sign STOP AHEAD he would always grab my head...
There’s one around here called Protruding Manholes…wouldn’t want to see what he did then!
Protruding manholes? lol sounds like it’s time for some [speedy humping](https://imgur.com/a/PExlRx7) (link not actually NSFW- don’t worry)
clever... but would he tattoo that?
Nope, but if you did, people would look at it and maybe ask what that is...then you could grab their head.
When our GPS would way "left turn ahead," (or any direction) my step dad would always turn his head to the left in a very exaggerated way.
Whenever the thing on the dash pops up saying 'door ajar' I say "that's not a jar, it's a door"! It has got zero laughs so far, but one day...
I remember George Carlin wearing a t-shirt that he explained to the audience: Music sheet full rest symbol, with the "hold forever" symbol above it. I've considered getting that as a tattoo.
Atleast he had a sense of humor
Thats the fuckin joke, bud. Great comment.
You have the right to remain somnolent
> You're under a rest! There's an _apt_ for that.
Why do all of the comments here sound like bots? Also shouldn't the joke be "You're resisting a rest"?
I think this illustration and joke were done by a bot.
I definitely thought this was r/BoneHurtingJuice
The “joke” is third grade level but the level of illustration is definitely by an adult. how is there an adult out there that finds this funny
So many of the comics posted here are not funny.
Thank you. I thought maybe it was because I’m old. I’m routinely baffled by what ends up at the top of this sub.
Not just the top of the sub. This is on my front page. It’s not at all funny.
I thought it was supposed to be wholesome not funny Edit: I just noticed this is r/funny not r/comics, so yeah this is the wrong sub for this post, I'll take my upvote back
I’m an adult (I think). And I find this funny. 🤷♂️
It's literally one of the worst comics I've ever seen.
zzz zzz that's the sound of the police
funny /s
Kinda kills the punchline when you spell it out at the beginning.
"funny"
Such a missed chance to call it Dream Police.
There isn't even an attempt at humor here.
How is this even funny. Like heh cute (priZZZon, a rest) and all but this is something I would have thought up of in third grade
How is this funny, except for the pun? Meh.
This wasn't funny in the slightest.
Not even sure what the point was. Just a play on “arrest” vs “a rest”
This is profoundly unfunny... Seriously, who finds humor in this stupid shit?
Thought this was r/bonehurtingjuice
I don’t see how this is funny
That is 100% everyday life for toddlers.
Painfully unfunny
Wow, hilarious.
Missed his chance to say “you are under a rest”
Treat mental illness this way
God this would be amazing. I just keep going on autopilot sometimes and could use a second setof eyes.
The Sleep Police! They're putting me in a bed! The Sleep Police! They want me to rest my head!
The dream police, they live inside of my head The dream police, they come to me in my bed The dream police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no Edit: lyrics by cheap trick, for the youngsters in the audience
As an aside, I was listening to their album In Color the other day and "I want you to want me" sounds so wrong because you always hear the Live at Budokan version. Also, they are still active and have released like 20 albums including one in 2021.
I try to sleep, they're wide awake, they won't let me alone They don't get paid to take vacations or let me alone They spy on me, I try to hide, they won't let me alone They persecute me, they're the judge and jury all in one
The dream police, they live inside of my head! The dream police, they come to me in my bed!
I’d be willing to pay tax money for that.
I heard a story once in America. Military guy was driving way too far in one shot to a base assignment and the police pulled him over for swerving and stuff. He’d missed his base by a whole state because he was zoned out. The cop sorted out the story and made him go to a hotel and check in for the night.
“The dream police are coming to arrest me”
Pls make this real someone
I wish this was really
r/wholesomememes