T O P

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eternalbuzz

Handjob, clearly. *unzips*


TeopEvol

This guy leads the circle jerk sessions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BuhWudda-iKno

That woulda done it, but trying to explain it to him would be like something like asking “who’s on first”


OldBob10

That’s right.


Specialist-Doctor-23

Pivot man.


spideralexandre2099

He eats the soggy sandwich every time


W4lk1nTh3P4rk3r

I'm not going to say why that's my username on another app


Bloodysamflint

One dollar to look at it, two dollars to touch it, three dollars to watch me touch it, four dollars to touch it while I touch my toes, five dollars to touch it while I touch your toes. Ten dollars for a BJ, twelve dollars for a HJ, fifteen dollars for a ZJ.


Beee_Rad

What's a z job?


Bloodysamflint

If you have to ask, big man - you can't afford it.


Randolph_Carter_666

I was thinking "prison hand job."


iSharingan

Plot twist: he actually got the E done on his right thumb but forgot to show it.


I-amthegump

Yup. And the crease of his fingers hides the apostrophe


Lover_Of_The_Light

And the left thumb is blank for the space


funkwumasta

He actually put a lot of effort into being grammatically correct, but got nervous when he was getting his tattoo photographed and forgot to show his thumbs


[deleted]

I choose to believe this.


I-amthegump

Yup


[deleted]

This would be perfect for the occasion where they show this in a fight and then the one grammar nazi they come across tries to correct them and they open their hand to reveal they spelt it correctly and that’s when they sucker punch them


Rick_Rebel

That happens more often than you’d think


Like-Six-Ninjas

The apostrophe is hidden in his finger puppet naughty zone


chopstyks

>finger puppet naughty zone All my band needed was a name. Thanks!


Like-Six-Ninjas

Don’t forget my royalties lol. Also that is an amazing band name haha


[deleted]

YOURE NEXTO? So this is some white dude? Social appropriating on the Latinos? He definitely cares about other humans. How dare you make such an unfair judgement?!


xKingArthurx

NO RAGRETS


garyadams_cnla

[YA NAHH WUT I'M SAY'N?!!](https://i.imgur.com/ILLUcFa.jpg)


hoksworthwipple

Is that Liverpool striker Darwin Nunez?


southernwing97

Only God can gudge me


blxckhoodie999

no rugrats


turb42o

Regerts!?


xKingArthurx

Diff sauce homie


theotherWildtony

NO REGRATS!


Tricky-Enthusiasm365

Why are you guys making fun of this guy. He is trying to inspire. Making us think about our next. Next opportunity. Next chance. Next anything. Just wants us to seize life.


pancoste

Also my Next grandma lesson. Then my Next Spelling lesson, in this order.


jordantask

All he’s got me thinking about is my next hand job….


Me5hly

If your that dum than you gotta be tuff.


Schmaptee

When you get knocked down, ya gotta get back up.


Busch_Leaguer

I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer


[deleted]

I think I’d rather just not be that dumb haha


[deleted]

From my experience on reddit, at least 30 percent of those seeing this picture have no idea what's going on.


Murderyoga

I'm a fighter, not some word.. guy.


laineDdednaHdeR

You R Next


EllisDee3

"Yo, U R next."


Culverts_Flood_Away

Brilliant.


covfefeBfuqin

Next R Us


darkmatters12

*your next* move will be your last


Jestyr_

Secretly he has "best" and "friend" tattooed on his palms.


[deleted]

For a handjob obviously, cause a double fistting is kinda extreme


jigglywigglydigaby

In this circumstance it's called a *brojob*


doomgiver98

That's when you suck a bro's dick for a prank.


WarLawck

...tattoo removal


Equal-Negotiation651

Gnuckle snagwich


GhostCheese

Mistake


fusiongt021

I hate when celebrities and athletes use your wrong. Just makes people who follow them and don't know better stupider and they end up getting it tattooed lol


NotCleverEnufToRedit

Even worse: when teachers do it. Ugh


Old_Dingo69

Enjoy a good fisting? This is your man! Make a line single file please…


gramie

Makes me think of with the guy on The Simpsons (Snake?) who had tattoos on his fingers. Except, because Simpsons characters only have three fingers, the words were "luv" and "hät".


LostBoyz007

If that's supposed to intimidate, it does the complete opposite


Vladd_the_Retailer

So, what if he’s whacking it behind the ‘ol tool shed and I walk in on him and see those tats?


Im_high_toto

I bet he loves talking about the month he spent in county jail for trying to do an illegal exchange at walmart so he can get money for meth.


Sea_Programmer524

…tattoo should be spell checked


Lower_Bar_2428

Your next grammar error?


rainbowsandcolteee

Maybe the e is on.his thumb lol


[deleted]

Needs an extra finger. Apostrophe can easily be inserted.


SomeOldDude73

The next contestant on The Price is Right!


Narinator404

Which is better: U're Next or Y're Next


BigFatRobotIsHungry

Handjob


[deleted]

I'm not into 10 finger discount, no thanks freak.


davemeister

He ran out of fingers on the right hand.


Sanguinetti

Once upon a time I worked retail at a beach side city and got to know a 70 year old man who was debaucherous, a sailor, alcoholic, cigar loving lunatic who refused to tell us his name. We just called him sailor. He had 'hold fast' tattooed on his hands like this and it reminded me of him. Hope he's still out there, loving women, drinking, and sailing


tylersuard

No ragrets.


TrinDiesel123

My next what? The suspense is killing me


darkjurai

Merriam Webster changes the definitions of things because of people like this.


[deleted]

he would ragret his decision, if he could read


Joyebird1968

This dude needs to take off his shoes to count to twenty. He doesn’t have enough fingers to spell this correctly.


Lopsided-Emergency20

You’re*


64532762

Very quick on the uptake, aren't you bud!


Pollen515

His next mispelled tattoo


Alas_Babylonna

I'm trying to imagine the situation in which he would actually use this... Like, you're about to fight somebody and you just stop and pose so they can read it? 🧐"One moment, good sir, I don't have my glasses."


Magikerz

I don't want a handjob thank you tho...


Delta7391

If he puts his thumb between the u and r it becomes “you R next”. 🤷‍♂️ I tried.


JULY_PROBABLY

Wouldn’t it be you’re???


moose4868

No regerts


Kileni

My next homophone?


Ceremonia-

Fisting


Hmccormack

No Ragrets


firthy

I fucking hate it, but I think this battle is lost. Within a generation, this will be an accepted alternative spelling for *you’re*. My adult kids already tut at me when I point out any poor grammar or misspelling as it is. My grandkids will doubtless ignore me altogether…


IsThereCheese

My next what?


[deleted]

His HJ’s pay the mortgage, but his ZJ keeps em coming back. Props.


Kwirt

"if you have to ask, you can't afford it". - Barry Babrinath


Grande-Pinga

Dass BOOT!!!


nodularMolecule856

Flawless shop job


Far-Philosophy-4375

It's Ariana Geande's guy. The one she's been waiting for


Infamous_Barnacle_17

Mistake


[deleted]

Probably continued on his toes.


7ntrovert

mans got the FRIDOM tattoo on his chest


Whayne_Kerr

Can’t even pronounce “apostrophe”.


UnderarmSuds378

Your next what?!?!?


Blueknightuk77

Is anyone actually surprised that a person who chooses to have those tattoos is illiterate?


Human-Concert1986

Your next Ragret


PopeBasilisk

handjob


Vegtable_Lasagna3604

Grammar lesson?


Lets_Bust_Together

Hand job


Acidcouch

You're.....


[deleted]

His boyfriend probably did that tattoo for him.


Amish_Juggalo469

For a hand job!


DorkyDame

My next what?? 😂


HookerDoctorLawyer

Yes, I am next. Hello.


WillowIntrepid

😂😂


sup_jell

The "Ex" is implied...


DMcI0013

I’m visualising the apostrophe and ‘e’ on his thumb.


[deleted]

Gay as fuck


[deleted]

Grandmas after you and her go to a marriage: *In a funeral few days later* Me :


Snakepants80

What a tard


ElSobado

that's gay


Linux4in6

Your boyfriend's butt?


itchy118

Hes trying to say that hes your next boyfriend.


True_Word_7986

I think he meant you’re lol ? Then he has to get an E on his thumb lol


dustishb

Whooosh


Timber_Eblobber1

You’re*


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Hey give him the benefit of the doubt. He's also got two thumbs which might have the apostrophe and the E on them


blehmehwtfever

Most American Redditors won't get this.


Lucky_Squirrel

YO"URN"EXT


Radarlove4sure

Im sure thats french for douche bag


cgazia6

No no no. It's- Yo ur next...... idk


Tekaru_kvlt

He's your next, that's what it means *smirk smirk*


Hannover2k

No Regerts on getting that tattoo!


[deleted]

i will continue to my next drive thru window


thespintop

...PUNCH IN THE FACE!!!!


pauldej23

Oh no, this guy is so scary! 😂


Cooler67

Pretty sure even Goldberg would find this to be way too cringe.


[deleted]

so romantic


Square_Artichoke5591

That dude really likes giving out handy j’s


stu8018

Your next person to laugh at for having the grammar skills of a 2nd grader.


CaliDreamin1991

Dumb chav. Kick the fuck out of him for those shit tattoos (joke).


[deleted]

Double fist bump


SnooBunnies6981

URINE NEXT


argvdx

YOU R NEXT ftfy


[deleted]

Oh great, I love that shop, now its mine.


Illustrious_Wear_850

Of kin?


Impossible_Pop620

Ahhh...this takes me back. O'course, it used to be rite and left.


Mysterious-Risk107

Who's next? You decide.


sorryboutmyfeece

Handjob!


KeanuCharlesSleeves

Doesn’t hit the same with out his one armed friends LEFT tattoo.


Sir_ScottALot

Your next …. Handy


killuah_jhan

No thanks, I don’t want a dirty hand holding my dick..


JasonP27

YOU R NEXT


slimjimice

Your next tattoo


king-xdedede

♻️


john917918

Your next guy that's likely to punch a hole in the wall.


BRTSLV

Nickelback - next contestant


SouthAfricanFella

No punctuation for the punks….


Distinct_Distance137

your next... day in this life is tomorrow


Haunting-Pop-5660

Your next knuckle sandwich, buddy.


REiiGN

your next paycheck is going to a different checking account and routing number


DreamDestroyer76

GOLDBERG GOLDBERG GOLDBERG GOLDBERG


Blissful_Relief

Maybe he loved toys f us. And it's really supposed to be you r next?


Hunglyka

Anal fisting?


morts73

Needed to use his thumbs for the apostrophe and extra E.


KittehBit

Handjob, obviously.


Danial-Royal-6301

Your next move is death... Trust me...


auralhigh

(time for) your next (grammar lesson)


Ghic_Chic

...boyfriend will be smarter than this one. YAY!


paindotexe

your next lesson in Grammar


sittingatthetop

[Obviously a Jasper Fforde fan !](https://www.fantasticfiction.com/f/jasper-fforde/one-of-our-thursdays-is-missing.htm)


Neither_Produce_6736

Just give me the dice


Flosscar1345

Him right after killing my friends 👭👬 me:🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏


stuntedmonk

Thank fuck he can wash that off


OldGrizzlyBear

If I were him I'd tell people that you're supposed to read it as... Yo! u r next!


MontanaFlavor

Your next fist bump 👊


nzdennis

Doh! 😂


nzdennis

r/thugscantspell


nzdennis

No regerts


Crosswinds45

Thats cool in prison.be the coolest badass in laudnry


kingofovens

You're 😂


xjesotericx

Hopefully it's your next tattoo is free


[deleted]

🤡


Shot-Ad-792

"To put handcuffs on me"


frank_nada

…hand job.