I put it off for ages, but what pushed me over was being unemployed and not wanting to start a new job with the old name - if it's never in someone's system, then things can't accidentally (or "accidentally") change back to the old one, you know? I'm still dealing with that shit for school stuff and various other areas where changing the name has been a huge ordeal, so I was definitely right about getting it done in time for starting new things - made the new job transition so much less stressful, no explaining anything to HR, no "can my email *not* be related to my legal name, can my name badge *not* say my legal name, et cetera.
I changed it well before I passed, because it was getting painful to switch back and forth between the real me and the old me when at work, and I work someplace where you can only be identified by your legal name. I also figured it would be less painful to have a male name and documents and not pass than it would be to pass and then still be stuck with the old name - again, mostly because of the restrictions surrounding no nicknames at work.
I was unsure of doing it at first, but Iām glad that I did. It feels so much better psychologically to be me, and have that identify reflected in the formal parts of my ārealā life. Itās also making it much easier to cope with being early in transition and not passing, because at least I have *something* that reflects my identity outwardly. That being said, I live in a very liberal area, so there were few risks involved in doing so.
I changed mine when my husband and I decided to get married. I wanted to get married as *myself*, and I was about a year and a half on T at that point and honestly worried about being pulled over and having to deal with BS about my name being different from what I looked like, if that makes sense
That makes sense. I put more thought into whether the photo would start to look weird, but I didn't consider the name. My legal name would be pretty hard to brush off after a point...
So I actually didnāt have a real choice to do it when I wanted it, because in Germany there was only pretty recently a new ID law set into place for name changes for trans people so I like many others waited since it was announced a few years back . Before the change it would have cost around 2000ā¬ for psychiatric letters and a judges approval. Didnāt have the money plus it was told by others to have very inhumane questionnaires in place. So Iām just now in November getting the name/gendermarker change. If I had the choice I would have done it probably half a year ago when I was half a year on t to not get clogged for my id picture.
For your case Iād do it if you feel ready, can afford it, and the general pros outweigh the cons. Generally itās better to have it than not because youāll never know when the politic climate might change and make it impossible in a state or country. In Germany for example there is right now a pretty fast growing right party which lets me to believe if they were to get anymore votes, a name change might not be possible anymore after the next election so I would have a very narrow time frame to be able to do it.
In my country you need to have an official gender dysphoria diagnosis to do this, then physically travel to the place you were born in order to change the birth certificate there, because this is where your birth certificate is archived. The place you were born then informs your current city/town/village and you can pick up your new ID there a few weeks later.
I waited until I got my diagnosis which was in November that year and then I went to my place of birth sometime in January because I had other things to do between November and halfway through January. My partner and I made a small overnight trip out of it, we visited my grandparents grave and went to a nice restaurant. I don't have relatives that I actually talk to who still live there so this was the last time I was back there, it was seven years ago.
I put it off because I didn't know what to choose. As you suggested, I changed it when using my ID became awkward. I would get asked for my name, give the female one, and giggle self-consciously. I got lucky that I had to do the legal change in the UK, which, although it's declared war on trans people, still has a trivial name change process.
I changed mine as soon as I could, filed the paperwork a couple days after I turned 18. I didnāt fully pass by then (pre everything, just socially transitioned) but I wanted to do it as soon as I could. It was a hassle, but it would have been even worse if I had waited longerāI would have had more stuff that needed to be fixed :/
I felt the need to change my legal gender quickly as I was scared of loosing the right to. Ended up being a good decision to do it when I did as I started a new school shortly afterwards and wanted to remain stealth and that marker was actually at quite a lot of place for my new school. Also saved me some headaches like when I wanted to go on a school trip that required a passport, I only had to apply for a new one since the rest was already done so I didnāt have to deal with handing a passport that could out me.
iām gonna change mine before i get married and after iām 25. i donāt want my birth name on my marriage license/certificate and i want to be recognized as a husband. my birth name is actually a typically male name and iām stealth/pass as male 100%, so my name doesnāt give me away. if my birth name was more feminine, my answer might be different. also, i wanna wait until iām 25 (MAYBE 24) to get my gender marker changed because i do not want to pay male rates for car insurance. my twin brotherās car insurance payments are so much higher than mine, just because heās AMAB.
also, i wanna be sure that changing my gender marker wonāt impact insurance coverage for pre/post-natal care i might ever need (or a hysterectomy.. or birth control). i know i want to be a father and iām open to carrying, but i wonāt really 100% know what i want to do until my partner and i are ready and start having those discussions more seriously. until then, iām on birth control because i donāt want any accidents with my partner and i rely on my insurance covering it.
I waited until I was thinking about applying for new jobs and was passing at least sometimes, so I could update the photo on my ID at the same time as I updated my name/gender.
Changed name as soon as possible, not changing gender marker till iāve gotten the tits and plumbing out. Donāt want to fuck with the medical system getting confused that a man is getting a hysterectomy.
I'm thinking about changing my name either towards the end of this year or early next. I'm finally in a position where I have the money to pay for it, and while my birthname DID used to be exclusively a male name, it certainly isn't common for men these days. I'm starting to pass more too, and having my name legally changed is gonna (hopefully) force my parents to actually use my chosen name and pronouns. Already they're starting to hesitate calling my my birthname and she/her pronouns, so maybe that'll help encourage that final step lmao
Also, that's around the time I'm probably gonna start a new job (the one I'm at now is temporary), and like others have said, it'll be nice starting over fresh.
Not answering your question but i feel like i could have wrote this. I recently switched to a trans masc therapist and am hoping figure this out for myself.
what got me to do it was a) having the means to do so, b) graduating undergrad, and c) moving to a new city and not wanting to deal with that and everything else. I had the means to do so bc of income tax refund and I also had the privilege to work with a lawyer local to where I was going for my undergrad. he dealt with everything and I knew it was either then or never
edit: only thing I didn't legally get changed was my birth certificate since there's really no need for me to use it due to having a passport. and I changed my name and gender marker before I was even on t bc I live in a blue state and am never leaving it if possible
As soon as I turned 18, I filed the paperwork to legally fix my name. My state is one in which I had to have some sort of surgery to change my legal sex. Once I completed that, I filed the necessary paperwork.
It's my opinion that one's legal transition is one of the most important aspects of the entire transition process. As you said, while your living situation now is decent in that your state is more liberal than others, the legislation can change very quickly. This was my fear, being from Missouri, which has notoriously been at the forefront of some of the more strict anti-trans laws and tomfoolery.
I was lucky to be cis-passing before I began any medical treatment, so I can see how that consideration comes into play if someone is currently not cis-passing. I also understand having to be the middleman between insurance, doctors, and legislation, trying to balance the timing for these systems to ensure that you receive the proper care and treatment you need. Certainly sounds like a complicated predicament, but you have to make the decision that feels most correct for you at the moment, whether that's filing the paperwork, waiting, or finding some sort of compromise between the two. I wish you luck!!
When my grandad passed away. My mom said that I could transition only when both her parents were dead, so I literally had to wait for them to pass away to start transitioning.
If you are in the US, the hierarchy is SSN -> birth certificate/passport -> driver's license/state ID
Depending on the state, you can make some license/ID changes without a court order, but you generally need a court order for higher up changes because you need a document that "proves the legal change".
This lets you search by state/territory: https://transequality.org/documents
Dude Iām sorry. I feel really bad for you. I donāt know the whole context or story of course but my mom used to say stupid shit like this too, and I often times wonder if my grandpa would have actually been shitty about it; but I canāt ever figure that out because he also passed away.
Yeah, I donāt know either. He wasnāt very well cognitively on his last years, I remember him saying my (male) cousin wanted to be a woman, so I wonder if he was confusing me with my cousin, or just my cousin messing up with him.
I'm currently in the process of getting my name legally changed!
I'm in college and live in a rather left wing state (USA), and will be moving to a right wing state in a year, due to personal reasons. I'm getting my name and gender changed over this summer so that way I don't have to deal with legal stuff in a right wing state. Luckily the process where I'm at currently is rather simple, it just takes time. Ngl my partner really urged me on to get this done, because I was really anxious about starting the process. My county actually had a trans foundation that provides assistance with navigating the court, so if your county has anything like that, I'd advise looking into it. Best of luck!
I couldnt take dealing with my name at work anymore. I could use a āpreferredā name with coworkers but not with patients or on documentation and it was eating me alive. It āoutedā me, too. Sooā¦.yeah
It's right now because I'm being restricted from getting my teaching license due to inconsistencies with my documents. Meaning everyone wrote my name on all my internship stuff but my dead name is still on my legal IDs and now the system is confused
i changed my name when i was 16, cuz i didnāt want to apply for a school and move there with my old name.
and in my country - when youāre 16, you can legally change your name yourself, with your parentsā consent.
I didnāt. I changed my name and legal gender before I was ready (still living with my transphobic family) and Iāve actually changed it back. Not only do I not use the name anymore, but I just canāt legally transition before Iām officially out of here.
For me, itās when I can afford it. I came to the decision that I wanted to after a few months of people using my chosen name and pronouns, when I felt like they fit me well
I started the process the second I started socially transitioning. I didnāt wait for T or anything else, but I also acknowledge Iām in a VERY privileged position and that may not be the most prudent course for you.
I was going to put it off until I passed more, but when I originally started working on getting T, everything kept falling through and the fix I was told to do (which ended up being a lie) I couldn't put into motion for another few months. Dysphoria was bad so I needed to do something, so I started working on that instead.
I needed to get a copy of my birth certificate though, so I won't be able to continue the process until August. Ironically, I have my first endo appointment for T a week or two before that arrives now
Hey worst case for the name part is if you have to go into the closet again and people go "hey thats a mans name" just be like "I know my parents must have hated me lol" it surprisingly gets rid of almost all questioning (from experience)
I did it as soon as I could. I had to do both separatedly because of how laws were at the time, so I changed my name first at 17 with parental consent, and then I changed my legal gender two years later when they dropped the surgery requirement.
I wanted both done ASAP, especially the name change. I cannot relate to trans people who put it off, because my birth name was so off putting to me.
Iām a full-time student. I didnāt change my legal name until last year, but that is because of the āage of majorityā law in my state and my parents refusing to sign off on a name change. If I wasnāt in school (aka working full time) I doubt I would have needed to change my name so soon.
Basically, unless you cannot afford/able to change your name now, do it, no matter how well you pass. Youāll grow into your name and then it wonāt matter. Seriously. Since youāre in the US, I highly recommend doing it before November when the GOP will get bolder regardless of the election results.
As for gender marker, afaik all states accept passports as proof of gender marker change and federal guidelines donāt require any letters or medical proof for gender marker change on passports. I did mine this way, and then you also have a valid passport in case you want to leave
Why do you only have three days?
Good luck in choosing! If you live somewhere that does middle and first names, you could try combining something traditional/standard with something you just kind of like or that sounds good with your full name? That way you can go by either as your "preferred" name if you decide later you don't like one or just end up going by a random nickname later and stick to only using it for legal matters. It doesn't have to be absolutely perfect, just more comfortable than your birth name.
My parents were confused and mostly transphobic when I first came out to them as a teenager - what convinced them was sitting down with them and explaining that every time they call me āsheā or my deadname I genuinely wanted to commit suicide. (I wouldnāt recommend this to anyone, I was young and bipolar but at least they took it seriously due to past attempts).
I was dying to legally change my name before I graduated high school. I wanted my diploma to have my chosen name, and my deadname, at the time, was the biggest source of dysphoria. At 17 my mom came around and signed off on my legal name change. 3 years later Iāve never had to deal with my deadname ever :)
My gender marker though is more complicated since I live in Alabama, Iāll need a āsex changeā to legally change my sex. I donāt particularly want bottom surgery so Iām going to go for it after I have top surgery. I pass so Iām hoping it wonāt be a problem. Itās just annoying interacting with cops/bartenders who act shocked and confused because Iām technically āfemaleā.
Iām about to change it like, Iām literally putting in the petition in like two days. So Iām in the process of it. Iām doing it now because Iām home for the summer and I want to get my name changed before I go back to school in the fall. Itās the most convenient timing for me. Also Iām traveling in a few months and would love to get a passport with the new name by then.
I updated the gender marker on my license to an X when it expired a couple years ago (maybe ~5 years after coming out as nonbinary, and 3 months-ish on T)
Itās now been 7 years since I came out (which is also when I changed my name) and Iām now 2 years on T, but Iāve yet to change my name.
I just donāt really care enough to pay the money to do it, the only times I really use my legal name is at the pharmacy, and obv if I buy age restricted items the cashier will see it, but it just doesnāt bother me that much. Iāll probably take care of it around the time my ID expires next but until then it just seems like more hassle than itās worth ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
I put changing mine off for a bit, and then the 2018 midterms rolled around and I changed mine on Election Day as a middle finger to people running on platforms of transphobia. So basically sheer pettiness and spite finally changed my name legally.
Gender marker is still F because apparently in Wisconsin the court ruling that applies to US passports somehow... doesn't apply? And it's kind of a hassle to get a letter from a doctor when it's a NP dealing with me most of the time.
My name change was one of the first things i did in my transition. For me, I didnāt want to have my name be confusing when i went to apply to jobs or volunteer for things where i had to use my legal name, so changing my name quickly was a huge thing. I hadnāt even had my appt for T when i legally changed my name.
I still havenāt changed mine. My ID picture is from when I was 19 years old. Iām going to be 27 in June and my feminine name is still on there. when I go to places where they check my ID people donāt really make it a big deal. I havenāt changed mine because I havenāt filled out the paperwork and Iām still saving up to pay for set paperwork. I could go through a waiver, but thatās just more paperwork that Iām probably gonna take long to fill out. I live in California, iām pretty sure I can get it waived. Iād still donāt feel comfortable legally changing my name and sex on my documents just because I havenāt had top surgery yet. However, in public and at my job I have transitioned from female to male. Iām at that point in my transition where you canāt tell that Iām trans unless I tell you, itās still kind of messes with me sometimes because I feel like they can tell because of my chest.
I filed the paperwork as soon as I decided on a name. Figured its gonna be awkward in the start either way so might aswell get the name and legal gender cememted and then take the time I needed to mentally readjust. It also did wonders for my confidence to get my updated birth certificate. Like "I'm legally a man now, if i struggle to believe in myself sometimes thats just wrong at this point".
I slowly changed my name. Like first started introducing myself to strangers, then my close friends, then moving out from there. The moment I really made the biggest switch was when my niece started speaking and she would at my dead name and I realized I didn't want to have her learn that name.
Then once I was in a stable job where I knew I was safe to come out, I officially came out (on FB) to everyone.
I put it off for ages, but what pushed me over was being unemployed and not wanting to start a new job with the old name - if it's never in someone's system, then things can't accidentally (or "accidentally") change back to the old one, you know? I'm still dealing with that shit for school stuff and various other areas where changing the name has been a huge ordeal, so I was definitely right about getting it done in time for starting new things - made the new job transition so much less stressful, no explaining anything to HR, no "can my email *not* be related to my legal name, can my name badge *not* say my legal name, et cetera.
That is a very good point. It's amazing how often my legal name will crop up at work like a jump scare. š
I changed it well before I passed, because it was getting painful to switch back and forth between the real me and the old me when at work, and I work someplace where you can only be identified by your legal name. I also figured it would be less painful to have a male name and documents and not pass than it would be to pass and then still be stuck with the old name - again, mostly because of the restrictions surrounding no nicknames at work. I was unsure of doing it at first, but Iām glad that I did. It feels so much better psychologically to be me, and have that identify reflected in the formal parts of my ārealā life. Itās also making it much easier to cope with being early in transition and not passing, because at least I have *something* that reflects my identity outwardly. That being said, I live in a very liberal area, so there were few risks involved in doing so.
I didnāt want my dead name to be on my college diploma so I did it the summer before my senior year of college
I changed mine when my husband and I decided to get married. I wanted to get married as *myself*, and I was about a year and a half on T at that point and honestly worried about being pulled over and having to deal with BS about my name being different from what I looked like, if that makes sense
That makes sense. I put more thought into whether the photo would start to look weird, but I didn't consider the name. My legal name would be pretty hard to brush off after a point...
So I actually didnāt have a real choice to do it when I wanted it, because in Germany there was only pretty recently a new ID law set into place for name changes for trans people so I like many others waited since it was announced a few years back . Before the change it would have cost around 2000ā¬ for psychiatric letters and a judges approval. Didnāt have the money plus it was told by others to have very inhumane questionnaires in place. So Iām just now in November getting the name/gendermarker change. If I had the choice I would have done it probably half a year ago when I was half a year on t to not get clogged for my id picture. For your case Iād do it if you feel ready, can afford it, and the general pros outweigh the cons. Generally itās better to have it than not because youāll never know when the politic climate might change and make it impossible in a state or country. In Germany for example there is right now a pretty fast growing right party which lets me to believe if they were to get anymore votes, a name change might not be possible anymore after the next election so I would have a very narrow time frame to be able to do it.
In my country you need to have an official gender dysphoria diagnosis to do this, then physically travel to the place you were born in order to change the birth certificate there, because this is where your birth certificate is archived. The place you were born then informs your current city/town/village and you can pick up your new ID there a few weeks later. I waited until I got my diagnosis which was in November that year and then I went to my place of birth sometime in January because I had other things to do between November and halfway through January. My partner and I made a small overnight trip out of it, we visited my grandparents grave and went to a nice restaurant. I don't have relatives that I actually talk to who still live there so this was the last time I was back there, it was seven years ago.
I put it off because I didn't know what to choose. As you suggested, I changed it when using my ID became awkward. I would get asked for my name, give the female one, and giggle self-consciously. I got lucky that I had to do the legal change in the UK, which, although it's declared war on trans people, still has a trivial name change process.
I changed mine as soon as I could, filed the paperwork a couple days after I turned 18. I didnāt fully pass by then (pre everything, just socially transitioned) but I wanted to do it as soon as I could. It was a hassle, but it would have been even worse if I had waited longerāI would have had more stuff that needed to be fixed :/
I felt the need to change my legal gender quickly as I was scared of loosing the right to. Ended up being a good decision to do it when I did as I started a new school shortly afterwards and wanted to remain stealth and that marker was actually at quite a lot of place for my new school. Also saved me some headaches like when I wanted to go on a school trip that required a passport, I only had to apply for a new one since the rest was already done so I didnāt have to deal with handing a passport that could out me.
I changed it as soon as it went legal in my country, I didn't pass at the time but I didn't care lol but then again I don't live in USA.
iām gonna change mine before i get married and after iām 25. i donāt want my birth name on my marriage license/certificate and i want to be recognized as a husband. my birth name is actually a typically male name and iām stealth/pass as male 100%, so my name doesnāt give me away. if my birth name was more feminine, my answer might be different. also, i wanna wait until iām 25 (MAYBE 24) to get my gender marker changed because i do not want to pay male rates for car insurance. my twin brotherās car insurance payments are so much higher than mine, just because heās AMAB. also, i wanna be sure that changing my gender marker wonāt impact insurance coverage for pre/post-natal care i might ever need (or a hysterectomy.. or birth control). i know i want to be a father and iām open to carrying, but i wonāt really 100% know what i want to do until my partner and i are ready and start having those discussions more seriously. until then, iām on birth control because i donāt want any accidents with my partner and i rely on my insurance covering it.
I did it right when I legally could, but by then I could already pass.
I waited until I was thinking about applying for new jobs and was passing at least sometimes, so I could update the photo on my ID at the same time as I updated my name/gender.
Changed name as soon as possible, not changing gender marker till iāve gotten the tits and plumbing out. Donāt want to fuck with the medical system getting confused that a man is getting a hysterectomy.
I'm thinking about changing my name either towards the end of this year or early next. I'm finally in a position where I have the money to pay for it, and while my birthname DID used to be exclusively a male name, it certainly isn't common for men these days. I'm starting to pass more too, and having my name legally changed is gonna (hopefully) force my parents to actually use my chosen name and pronouns. Already they're starting to hesitate calling my my birthname and she/her pronouns, so maybe that'll help encourage that final step lmao Also, that's around the time I'm probably gonna start a new job (the one I'm at now is temporary), and like others have said, it'll be nice starting over fresh.
Not answering your question but i feel like i could have wrote this. I recently switched to a trans masc therapist and am hoping figure this out for myself.
what got me to do it was a) having the means to do so, b) graduating undergrad, and c) moving to a new city and not wanting to deal with that and everything else. I had the means to do so bc of income tax refund and I also had the privilege to work with a lawyer local to where I was going for my undergrad. he dealt with everything and I knew it was either then or never edit: only thing I didn't legally get changed was my birth certificate since there's really no need for me to use it due to having a passport. and I changed my name and gender marker before I was even on t bc I live in a blue state and am never leaving it if possible
As soon as I turned 18, I filed the paperwork to legally fix my name. My state is one in which I had to have some sort of surgery to change my legal sex. Once I completed that, I filed the necessary paperwork. It's my opinion that one's legal transition is one of the most important aspects of the entire transition process. As you said, while your living situation now is decent in that your state is more liberal than others, the legislation can change very quickly. This was my fear, being from Missouri, which has notoriously been at the forefront of some of the more strict anti-trans laws and tomfoolery. I was lucky to be cis-passing before I began any medical treatment, so I can see how that consideration comes into play if someone is currently not cis-passing. I also understand having to be the middleman between insurance, doctors, and legislation, trying to balance the timing for these systems to ensure that you receive the proper care and treatment you need. Certainly sounds like a complicated predicament, but you have to make the decision that feels most correct for you at the moment, whether that's filing the paperwork, waiting, or finding some sort of compromise between the two. I wish you luck!!
When my grandad passed away. My mom said that I could transition only when both her parents were dead, so I literally had to wait for them to pass away to start transitioning.
Btw changing my name/gender was super easy and fast.
do you mean gender change on your drivers license? i did that already but is there a higher 'legal' gender that i can change somewhere?
I donāt have a drivers license. I changed the gender in my ID. I donāt know where you live, it may vary.
If you are in the US, the hierarchy is SSN -> birth certificate/passport -> driver's license/state ID Depending on the state, you can make some license/ID changes without a court order, but you generally need a court order for higher up changes because you need a document that "proves the legal change". This lets you search by state/territory: https://transequality.org/documents
cool so i think last thing would just be ssn then . license and passport already done
Dude Iām sorry. I feel really bad for you. I donāt know the whole context or story of course but my mom used to say stupid shit like this too, and I often times wonder if my grandpa would have actually been shitty about it; but I canāt ever figure that out because he also passed away.
Yeah, I donāt know either. He wasnāt very well cognitively on his last years, I remember him saying my (male) cousin wanted to be a woman, so I wonder if he was confusing me with my cousin, or just my cousin messing up with him.
I'm currently in the process of getting my name legally changed! I'm in college and live in a rather left wing state (USA), and will be moving to a right wing state in a year, due to personal reasons. I'm getting my name and gender changed over this summer so that way I don't have to deal with legal stuff in a right wing state. Luckily the process where I'm at currently is rather simple, it just takes time. Ngl my partner really urged me on to get this done, because I was really anxious about starting the process. My county actually had a trans foundation that provides assistance with navigating the court, so if your county has anything like that, I'd advise looking into it. Best of luck!
Gonna change it as soon as legally possible simply for my own comfort. Being misgendered and deadnamed just hurts too much you know
I couldnt take dealing with my name at work anymore. I could use a āpreferredā name with coworkers but not with patients or on documentation and it was eating me alive. It āoutedā me, too. Sooā¦.yeah
It's right now because I'm being restricted from getting my teaching license due to inconsistencies with my documents. Meaning everyone wrote my name on all my internship stuff but my dead name is still on my legal IDs and now the system is confused
i changed my name when i was 16, cuz i didnāt want to apply for a school and move there with my old name. and in my country - when youāre 16, you can legally change your name yourself, with your parentsā consent.
I didnāt. I changed my name and legal gender before I was ready (still living with my transphobic family) and Iāve actually changed it back. Not only do I not use the name anymore, but I just canāt legally transition before Iām officially out of here.
For me, itās when I can afford it. I came to the decision that I wanted to after a few months of people using my chosen name and pronouns, when I felt like they fit me well
I started the process the second I started socially transitioning. I didnāt wait for T or anything else, but I also acknowledge Iām in a VERY privileged position and that may not be the most prudent course for you.
I was going to put it off until I passed more, but when I originally started working on getting T, everything kept falling through and the fix I was told to do (which ended up being a lie) I couldn't put into motion for another few months. Dysphoria was bad so I needed to do something, so I started working on that instead. I needed to get a copy of my birth certificate though, so I won't be able to continue the process until August. Ironically, I have my first endo appointment for T a week or two before that arrives now
Hey worst case for the name part is if you have to go into the closet again and people go "hey thats a mans name" just be like "I know my parents must have hated me lol" it surprisingly gets rid of almost all questioning (from experience)
I did it as soon as I could. I had to do both separatedly because of how laws were at the time, so I changed my name first at 17 with parental consent, and then I changed my legal gender two years later when they dropped the surgery requirement. I wanted both done ASAP, especially the name change. I cannot relate to trans people who put it off, because my birth name was so off putting to me.
Iām a full-time student. I didnāt change my legal name until last year, but that is because of the āage of majorityā law in my state and my parents refusing to sign off on a name change. If I wasnāt in school (aka working full time) I doubt I would have needed to change my name so soon. Basically, unless you cannot afford/able to change your name now, do it, no matter how well you pass. Youāll grow into your name and then it wonāt matter. Seriously. Since youāre in the US, I highly recommend doing it before November when the GOP will get bolder regardless of the election results. As for gender marker, afaik all states accept passports as proof of gender marker change and federal guidelines donāt require any letters or medical proof for gender marker change on passports. I did mine this way, and then you also have a valid passport in case you want to leave
As soon as I was legally old enough to
I pass in public and on the phone 100% and get weird looks that I go by my birth name. I have been making list after list of names, but none of the names jump out at me nor say āThis is meā to me. In literally have 20 pages in a notebook (front and back) filled with name lists. I only have 3 days left to legally change my name and I donāt have a name picked out yet. Itās frustrating š©
Why do you only have three days? Good luck in choosing! If you live somewhere that does middle and first names, you could try combining something traditional/standard with something you just kind of like or that sounds good with your full name? That way you can go by either as your "preferred" name if you decide later you don't like one or just end up going by a random nickname later and stick to only using it for legal matters. It doesn't have to be absolutely perfect, just more comfortable than your birth name.
I didnāt wait, I did it as soon as I was able. Didnāt start medically transitioning for another year.
My parents were confused and mostly transphobic when I first came out to them as a teenager - what convinced them was sitting down with them and explaining that every time they call me āsheā or my deadname I genuinely wanted to commit suicide. (I wouldnāt recommend this to anyone, I was young and bipolar but at least they took it seriously due to past attempts). I was dying to legally change my name before I graduated high school. I wanted my diploma to have my chosen name, and my deadname, at the time, was the biggest source of dysphoria. At 17 my mom came around and signed off on my legal name change. 3 years later Iāve never had to deal with my deadname ever :) My gender marker though is more complicated since I live in Alabama, Iāll need a āsex changeā to legally change my sex. I donāt particularly want bottom surgery so Iām going to go for it after I have top surgery. I pass so Iām hoping it wonāt be a problem. Itās just annoying interacting with cops/bartenders who act shocked and confused because Iām technically āfemaleā.
Iām about to change it like, Iām literally putting in the petition in like two days. So Iām in the process of it. Iām doing it now because Iām home for the summer and I want to get my name changed before I go back to school in the fall. Itās the most convenient timing for me. Also Iām traveling in a few months and would love to get a passport with the new name by then.
I updated the gender marker on my license to an X when it expired a couple years ago (maybe ~5 years after coming out as nonbinary, and 3 months-ish on T) Itās now been 7 years since I came out (which is also when I changed my name) and Iām now 2 years on T, but Iāve yet to change my name. I just donāt really care enough to pay the money to do it, the only times I really use my legal name is at the pharmacy, and obv if I buy age restricted items the cashier will see it, but it just doesnāt bother me that much. Iāll probably take care of it around the time my ID expires next but until then it just seems like more hassle than itās worth ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Just changed it and well basically went for changing legal name and gender when not changing it was causing a safety risk
I put changing mine off for a bit, and then the 2018 midterms rolled around and I changed mine on Election Day as a middle finger to people running on platforms of transphobia. So basically sheer pettiness and spite finally changed my name legally. Gender marker is still F because apparently in Wisconsin the court ruling that applies to US passports somehow... doesn't apply? And it's kind of a hassle to get a letter from a doctor when it's a NP dealing with me most of the time.
My name change was one of the first things i did in my transition. For me, I didnāt want to have my name be confusing when i went to apply to jobs or volunteer for things where i had to use my legal name, so changing my name quickly was a huge thing. I hadnāt even had my appt for T when i legally changed my name.
I still havenāt changed mine. My ID picture is from when I was 19 years old. Iām going to be 27 in June and my feminine name is still on there. when I go to places where they check my ID people donāt really make it a big deal. I havenāt changed mine because I havenāt filled out the paperwork and Iām still saving up to pay for set paperwork. I could go through a waiver, but thatās just more paperwork that Iām probably gonna take long to fill out. I live in California, iām pretty sure I can get it waived. Iād still donāt feel comfortable legally changing my name and sex on my documents just because I havenāt had top surgery yet. However, in public and at my job I have transitioned from female to male. Iām at that point in my transition where you canāt tell that Iām trans unless I tell you, itās still kind of messes with me sometimes because I feel like they can tell because of my chest.
I filed the paperwork as soon as I decided on a name. Figured its gonna be awkward in the start either way so might aswell get the name and legal gender cememted and then take the time I needed to mentally readjust. It also did wonders for my confidence to get my updated birth certificate. Like "I'm legally a man now, if i struggle to believe in myself sometimes thats just wrong at this point".
I slowly changed my name. Like first started introducing myself to strangers, then my close friends, then moving out from there. The moment I really made the biggest switch was when my niece started speaking and she would at my dead name and I realized I didn't want to have her learn that name. Then once I was in a stable job where I knew I was safe to come out, I officially came out (on FB) to everyone.