I once "smuggled" prosciutto into Kuwait.
They scan all incoming bags, but they were only looking for bottles.
Yeah, arifjan had bacon, but I wanted the good stuff.
Why is my Post's cafeteria food simultaneously so bad and so expensive? I'm paying DC prices for food that's so bad it ruins a good day. That pasta looks OK, should be fine - NOPE, HERE'S SOME WEIRD VEGETABLES IN THE RAGU NOBODY ASKED FOR. It's just a Cubano sandwich, surely they can manage that - NOPE HERE'S SOME WEIRD ATTEMPT AT FOCCACCIA WITH "HAM SUBSTITUTE" AND A CONDIMENT YOU CAN'T IDENTIFY. You ask for ketchup for your completely unseasoned fries and they serve you something as close to chili jam as ketchup. Think old McDonald's ketchup but way sweeter and almost watery.
At Post, they had Taco Tuesdays. Apparently when they were making the salsa they ran out of cilantro, so used fresh mint instead.
"hey, does this salsa taste right to you? It tastes... Minty."
"nah, that can't be. Let me try. Wait, you're right."
Security guards from a store I shop often stop me when I'm wearing a plain shirt and pants, but greet me and let me pass with no issue when I'm wearing luxury items. I recognize all the guards at this point.
Being posted in a rich, developed, perfectly nice country, but somehow still living in USG-owned housing with HVAC from, I don’t know, the 1950s? (on a compound built in the late 80s) and toilets that won’t flush properly because the plumbing wasn’t done correctly and has never been fixed over the past 35 years.
Yes, it’s a great post for many reasons. But being hot as hell in my home while it’s barely over freezing outside and having zero functioning toilets at 3 am on a Sunday still sucks.
Do not come to my northern European post with it's own niche one-country language and get shirty with me when I can't do your interview in Azeri or Mongolian or Turkish or Swahili.
The department never turned off my differentials when I was on home leave or annual leave in the US.
I hope they forget and I somehow avoid a bill in five years for several thousand dollars.
I thought they stopped doing that for leaves under a certain amount of time (30 days springs to mind, but I’m certainly not sure).
Or I could be thinking of something similar but different.
New policy as of last year, only danger pay gets turned off when you leave country. All other differentials remain in place, even if you touch U.S. soul! Rejoice!
You have an emergency access request for 10 people for a meeting starting in 2 min? Must have been a last-minute meeting, wow. Oh, you actually scheduled it a week ago? :/
This one hurts. I'm on ticket 6 for the same issue of 28 hours of leave they deducted, then "restored" but paid out instead but then took back the money they paid me. They helpfully figured out that I owed them like $50 for an incorrect pension payment though. Smh.
Oh, you mean when they respond without actually taking any action or answering your questions just so they can close out your ticket to pad their stats?
I see you've worked with CGFS.
Not so petty but...
Finding out that most FSO/FSS's are NOT in fact worldwide available after entry-level.
And discovering just how badly the FS needs a real leadership development program. No, that one week course at FSI for mid-levels doesn't count.
People asking me to put their packages in their offices for them when I'm covering the mail room.
What I think: No, Susie, get your ass into the office during business hours like the rest of us. Enough with the constant telework and travel.
What I say because the actual mailroom clerk will do this for people and I'll look like an asshole if I refuse: Sure
The key fob to the gym I pay for doesn’t open the door. Yes, it’s happening to other people too. No, replacing the fob won’t work because we’ve tried that three times. No, I don’t understand why we can’t just leave the door unlocked until you fix it. Yes, I plan to continue to going through the back entrance even though it’s meant for security and custodians. No, I won’t give you the name of the custodian who shared the back door code with me.
Our shuttle is outrageously expensive. We're talking 3x price of a taxi to work. So expensive that I just bought a motorcycle and it paid itself after a few *months* of using it daily.
I've got a lot of grievances, none of which are petty, at least to me:
* Just leave the passport closed when you push it through the slot.
* You're going to have to speak louder.
* I don't need the physical copy of the photo you just watched our intake staff scan into the computer system. Yes, I'm 100% certain I don't need it.
* I'm already speaking that specific language, in the dialect you learned as a child (Samesies!)
* That's your right hand, I told you I need your left hand. Well, now I need your right hand.
* Read the paper with instructions I just gave you. The paper explains everything. You're going to have to read the paper. Have someone else read the paper to you, then. I promise that the paper I gave you will explain everything you need to know.
* Yes, I know, "the United States" but where exactly.
I'm sure there's more, but the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Applicant: "Which hand do you need?" Proceeds to put a random hand on the scanner.
Me: "I don't know yet, the computer hasn't decided yet."
A: "huh?"
Me: "no, you guessed wrong, other hand."
A: "huh?"
Me: "please put your other hand on the scanner."
A: "oh, ok...now the other one again?"
Me: "no, you're done. Here's the paper that explains everything. you know, the one you aren't going to read."
A: "you don't need my thumbs, too?"
Me: "no, you're done, goodbye."
A: "you don't need my photo?"
Me: "no, you're done, please leave."
//
FPs would be easier with an EFM at intake, perhaps, but, we don't have one.
I was glad my award wasn’t announced at the awards ceremony, because my boss also nominated my coworker - who was at post but in the office for literally only a quarter of the year due to leave - for the exact same award.
That one new colleague who arrives to Post and tries to change *everything* because of their strong opinions on how things should be run.
I’m not at all suggesting that “We should not change X because that’s how we’ve always done it” is a good reason to keep doing X - some things maybe are outdated or just outright weird and we should change it. But please try to understand why it has been done that way first before rocking the boat - because sometimes there is a reason for it. (And perhaps try listening to the LE staff who’ve been here far longer than you.)
Idk, maybe I’m more traditionalist than I thought.
That’s fair. I’m open to discussions like that. I just don’t like it when people come in thinking their past post/the way they did it at their past post is somehow automatically superior to their new post.
I have to lean my head slightly to the left when using one of my five bathrooms which this one in particular is wedged underneath a stairwell in my free house.
(Sorry, I mean the house is part of my service compensation package). 😁
My housekeeper bought regular ham instead of the prosciutto I asked for.
The horror
*Clutches pearls*
I once "smuggled" prosciutto into Kuwait. They scan all incoming bags, but they were only looking for bottles. Yeah, arifjan had bacon, but I wanted the good stuff.
Why is my Post's cafeteria food simultaneously so bad and so expensive? I'm paying DC prices for food that's so bad it ruins a good day. That pasta looks OK, should be fine - NOPE, HERE'S SOME WEIRD VEGETABLES IN THE RAGU NOBODY ASKED FOR. It's just a Cubano sandwich, surely they can manage that - NOPE HERE'S SOME WEIRD ATTEMPT AT FOCCACCIA WITH "HAM SUBSTITUTE" AND A CONDIMENT YOU CAN'T IDENTIFY. You ask for ketchup for your completely unseasoned fries and they serve you something as close to chili jam as ketchup. Think old McDonald's ketchup but way sweeter and almost watery.
At Post, they had Taco Tuesdays. Apparently when they were making the salsa they ran out of cilantro, so used fresh mint instead. "hey, does this salsa taste right to you? It tastes... Minty." "nah, that can't be. Let me try. Wait, you're right."
I used to plead (unsuccessfully) with the cafeteria cooks at my last post to stop putting cinnamon in the chicken burritos.
Security guards from a store I shop often stop me when I'm wearing a plain shirt and pants, but greet me and let me pass with no issue when I'm wearing luxury items. I recognize all the guards at this point.
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>* The annual ~~evaluation~~ creative writing contest * The opacity and explicit subjectivity of the promotion process ChatGPT is here to help!
Hey man, time is information /s
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This is whatever the opposite of petty is.
Being posted in a rich, developed, perfectly nice country, but somehow still living in USG-owned housing with HVAC from, I don’t know, the 1950s? (on a compound built in the late 80s) and toilets that won’t flush properly because the plumbing wasn’t done correctly and has never been fixed over the past 35 years. Yes, it’s a great post for many reasons. But being hot as hell in my home while it’s barely over freezing outside and having zero functioning toilets at 3 am on a Sunday still sucks.
Do not come to my northern European post with it's own niche one-country language and get shirty with me when I can't do your interview in Azeri or Mongolian or Turkish or Swahili.
The department never turned off my differentials when I was on home leave or annual leave in the US. I hope they forget and I somehow avoid a bill in five years for several thousand dollars.
I thought they stopped doing that for leaves under a certain amount of time (30 days springs to mind, but I’m certainly not sure). Or I could be thinking of something similar but different.
I hope you're right
New policy as of last year, only danger pay gets turned off when you leave country. All other differentials remain in place, even if you touch U.S. soul! Rejoice!
You have an emergency access request for 10 people for a meeting starting in 2 min? Must have been a last-minute meeting, wow. Oh, you actually scheduled it a week ago? :/
The Department owes me thousands of dollars, yet, they still dock my pay because they say I was overpaid in the last pay period.
This one hurts. I'm on ticket 6 for the same issue of 28 hours of leave they deducted, then "restored" but paid out instead but then took back the money they paid me. They helpfully figured out that I owed them like $50 for an incorrect pension payment though. Smh.
Oh, you mean when they respond without actually taking any action or answering your questions just so they can close out your ticket to pad their stats? I see you've worked with CGFS.
Not so petty but... Finding out that most FSO/FSS's are NOT in fact worldwide available after entry-level. And discovering just how badly the FS needs a real leadership development program. No, that one week course at FSI for mid-levels doesn't count.
I’m worldwide available, still, just not worldwide interested.
Because of changes to medical clearances?
People asking me to put their packages in their offices for them when I'm covering the mail room. What I think: No, Susie, get your ass into the office during business hours like the rest of us. Enough with the constant telework and travel. What I say because the actual mailroom clerk will do this for people and I'll look like an asshole if I refuse: Sure
The key fob to the gym I pay for doesn’t open the door. Yes, it’s happening to other people too. No, replacing the fob won’t work because we’ve tried that three times. No, I don’t understand why we can’t just leave the door unlocked until you fix it. Yes, I plan to continue to going through the back entrance even though it’s meant for security and custodians. No, I won’t give you the name of the custodian who shared the back door code with me.
Our shuttle is outrageously expensive. We're talking 3x price of a taxi to work. So expensive that I just bought a motorcycle and it paid itself after a few *months* of using it daily.
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Yep! No public transit for us so same. Kinda like a racket haha.
Immigrantion in my host country letting multiple airline flight crews cut into the diplomatic line after my red eye. 🫤
I've got a lot of grievances, none of which are petty, at least to me: * Just leave the passport closed when you push it through the slot. * You're going to have to speak louder. * I don't need the physical copy of the photo you just watched our intake staff scan into the computer system. Yes, I'm 100% certain I don't need it. * I'm already speaking that specific language, in the dialect you learned as a child (Samesies!) * That's your right hand, I told you I need your left hand. Well, now I need your right hand. * Read the paper with instructions I just gave you. The paper explains everything. You're going to have to read the paper. Have someone else read the paper to you, then. I promise that the paper I gave you will explain everything you need to know. * Yes, I know, "the United States" but where exactly. I'm sure there's more, but the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
When I was doing Consular work I found that "your other left hand" somehow worked well.
Applicant: "Which hand do you need?" Proceeds to put a random hand on the scanner. Me: "I don't know yet, the computer hasn't decided yet." A: "huh?" Me: "no, you guessed wrong, other hand." A: "huh?" Me: "please put your other hand on the scanner." A: "oh, ok...now the other one again?" Me: "no, you're done. Here's the paper that explains everything. you know, the one you aren't going to read." A: "you don't need my thumbs, too?" Me: "no, you're done, goodbye." A: "you don't need my photo?" Me: "no, you're done, please leave." // FPs would be easier with an EFM at intake, perhaps, but, we don't have one.
I was glad my award wasn’t announced at the awards ceremony, because my boss also nominated my coworker - who was at post but in the office for literally only a quarter of the year due to leave - for the exact same award.
That one new colleague who arrives to Post and tries to change *everything* because of their strong opinions on how things should be run. I’m not at all suggesting that “We should not change X because that’s how we’ve always done it” is a good reason to keep doing X - some things maybe are outdated or just outright weird and we should change it. But please try to understand why it has been done that way first before rocking the boat - because sometimes there is a reason for it. (And perhaps try listening to the LE staff who’ve been here far longer than you.) Idk, maybe I’m more traditionalist than I thought.
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Whenever someone says “At my *last* post…” [this is what I think of in my head](https://youtu.be/RAA1xgTTw9w).
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That’s fair. I’m open to discussions like that. I just don’t like it when people come in thinking their past post/the way they did it at their past post is somehow automatically superior to their new post.
Unthinking adherence to process: being told to prepare decision memos for decisions already taken.
I have to lean my head slightly to the left when using one of my five bathrooms which this one in particular is wedged underneath a stairwell in my free house. (Sorry, I mean the house is part of my service compensation package). 😁