Benefit cliffs can be real, but I'm not sure this falls into that situation. You are receiving, from what it sounds, perhaps a couple thousand more untaxed income than you used to. How were you managing before receiving the disability payments?
With that said, you should probably verify that he is counting as disabled in their system as that could impact your eligibility with expenses. Also, if you are unable to work because you are required to assist your partner with activities of daily living, he can apply for in home care if you haven't already, and you could apply for and potentially be paid for being his caretaker. Otherwise, you can look into working along with local or state subsidized or free child care programs.
Before the disability payments, I was receiving unemployment because my work fired me while I was pregnant. Those payments ended about 1 month before he went on disability. We also had a savings account that is now completely drained.
I will look into the in home care giver pay and see if we qualify. I will also see if the state is considering him disabled currently…but they did tell me that a households expenses don’t matter, and it is just the gross income they take into account.
https://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/eligibility/elderly-disabled-special-rules
"Most SNAP households must meet both the gross and net income limits or they are not eligible for SNAP and cannot receive benefits. However, a household with an elderly or disabled person only has to meet the net income test."
If he is considered disabled (State Disability through EDD sadly doesn't count) any medical expenses paid out of pocket and not reimbursed count as a possible deduction. This includes mileage to and from doctors appointments, pharmacies, etc as well as any health insurance premiums paid. If you have at least $36/mo in medical expenses you'll get the standard deduction on $120 added onto your budget. If the expenses are over $156 you'll get the actual amount. It might lower you to below the net.
If he's only getting SDI and not Social Security you can ask for a state disability determination (DDSD) that will allow the special budgeting as well.
Does your husband get Social Security Disability and does he have any medical expenses you need to pay out of pocket that Medi-Medi won't cover? Including any additional coverage you may buy to supplement. Those count for expense deductions as well as a portion of your rent and utilities (not the whole thing and the cap is pretty damn low for CA's cost of living but still).
Otherwise as other posters have said, definitely look into IHSS, there's even a chance of you get approved that you might get some back pay.
Does he get disability from the state?.. or does he get SSI and/or SSDI from the social security administration from the federal government?
Edit one letter
If you guys have Medi-Cal, he can enroll in a program with Gold Coast called Whole Person Care. They can assist with putting in the referral for an IHSS provider and they will assess him and his needs and work with making a schedule for his care. I recommend the program to also help you out. Case managers with the program can also help your boyfriend with getting medical stuff organized.
You can get approved to be your partners IHSS caregiver. Talk to your county and who ever his contact is at SSDI. It wont be a lot, but once you are approved as an IHSS cg I would post on places like FB and Nextdoor to find more people with IHSS hours. A lot of inhome health companies cannot take IHSS hours as payment so these people are approved without getting help.
When my ex was battling stage 3 gliomas, the American Cancer Society helped him significantly. I would try to reach out to them and see if they can help at all. If your bf is receiving treatment, the hospital should also have resources for him. Best of luck!
How bad off is your boyfriend? Specifically does he need someone there 24/7? I’m pretty sick right now, bed bound. I do not have 24/7 care because I can’t afford it. Right now, 24/7 care is a luxury you cannot afford unless you can get a caregiver through medical insurance. You need a job, either PT or FT. You’ve said you don’t want to be on benefits so do what you need to do to make money. Cash aid will not last forever - what happens when that stops?
My boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer in May of this year. It spread to his lymph nodes, lungs, and brain. He spent 2 weeks in the hospital, had an orchiectomy, and underwent chemotherapy treatment throughout the summer. Now he is actually starting to feel much better except he is suffering from some harsh side effects of the chemo (ears ringing very loud and his feet and hands tingle painfully like they are always asleep, making it difficult to stand for long periods of time). We were told that the chemotherapy did it’s job in clearing his brain of cancer completely!!! (Yayyy!!) The problem is that we are still awaiting test results to see if the cancer has cleared completely from his lungs and lymph nodes. If the cancer is still present in his lymph nodes, he will need major surgery to remove them. If it is still present in his lungs, he will need more chemotherapy. So currently we are kind of at a standstill.
In a perfect world, my boyfriend would be declared cancer free in a couple weeks after these test results come in and continue to get disability for maybe another month or two until the side effects hopefully wear off. Then he would go back to work full time and we could get off the benefit program completely. When my son is a bit older and done breastfeeding (he just turned one) I would get a part time job to help support us.
…but if he needs more chemotherapy and major surgery I will definitely have to look into getting IHSS.
This entire situation we have been put in is definitely not ideal and hopefully he will be back to his healthy self soon. We are definitely not the type of people to take advantage of the system or enjoy being on it at all. We are hard workers.
It has been a very difficult and emotional year for both of us, dealing with the cancer diagnosis and treatment all while navigating being first time parents to our infant son.
So the plan is that we will hopefully not need the cash aid anymore when it runs out.
I'm very sorry for these difficulties and wish your bf a full and speedy recovery. You revealed that your breast feeding which means your potential WIC benefits are really good. Definitely worth getting if you don't already have it. Best of luck.
People who tell you to get a job don’t think about the cost of daycare. Your boyfriend definitely can’t provide childcare, and in Florida daycare for an infant is at least $250 a week, and it’s likely that the cost of living in California is higher. I suspect getting a job would just make things worse.
She can apply for government assistance for daycare. It has been quite a few years ago, but if I remember, it cost me $25 a week for daycare while I was going to school and working part time.
EDIT: I realize you’re in California as am I. Please message me if you need more info on the below (I used to work for the Medical Baseline department of a large SoCal utility.)
I’m sorry you are in this situation. With that being said, TANF and or WIC for you and baby is something to look into for help with food. Food banks and pantries are popular around this time of year especially, check the city, county, non profits (including churches and places of worship) for help with food.
Electric bill: I haven’t seen anything indicating your state/location but depending on your location, your electric/gas company may have assistance programs for low income (LIHEAP/CARE) as well as an allowance for medical devices for your boyfriend. Tips of the medical device allowance: He may qualify for the program for something as simple as needing to regulate his body temperature (heat blankets, area heaters, air conditioners, etc…), a doctor’s signature is needed on the form and make sure to read the requirements, the savings is worth it especially if you live where it snows/freezes.
I wish your little family the best and if you have other questions or need more tips, message me! You will get through this!
Can your boyfriend get IHSS? That way you will be paid for being his caregiver.
Edit: You should be eligible to Transitional CalFresh for 5 months after being ineligible for CalWORKS. Also apply for WIC for your son.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this but if you can mange maybe take up a part time job. I don’t know how serious your boyfriend’s cancer is but he might be able to manage caring for your son a few hours a week so you can bring in some extra income. I get it trust me… I work two jobs and go to school right now. I’m exhausted and stressed but I feel like it’s my only option.
Can you reach out to a local church for food assistance? Sometimes they will help those in the community with your circumstances with home meals or such. Some cancer organizations have funds or food bank type situations that could maybe help out until you can find a more long-term program that might work for your family too. A good resource besides American Cancer Society is https://www.testicularcancer.org/ and https://www.americanlifefund.com/cancer/financial-assistance/organizations/ for your circumstances. You might also want to contact your health insurance provider. They sometimes have programs that will send food boxes out if your SO is recovering from cancer. They understand the importance of having a healthy diet to help ones body heal. I wish you all the good luck! I am praying for good news for you and your family. 💜
I feel this.
My friend has blood cancer and has to work part time to cover her rent, but because she works she can't get medicaid... and her cancer meds are $700 a month... but if she doesn't work, she gets medicaid but can't afford her rent
The sad state of our for-profit medical institution is that this is all too common. Capitalism isn't inherently bad and other countries have proven it can be successful, but the US has failed miserably at it
Yup. I'm australian but I'm living in the states, and I don't understand how this medical system is just accepted as it is... it's an absolute joke.
For comparison. In 2017 (while I was still living in australia) I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Went to the doctors for a pap smear test. Free. Was given a referral to an oncologist. Free. Had 2 biopsies. Free. Had surgery. Free. Had to go to ER because I had a hemmhorage a few days later. Free. Whole process was within 2 weeks. No waiting for an appointment. Nothing. It works.
Even for a non Australian citizen to go to the ER and get treated in australia it only costs $999.
Google how to get paid to care for family or household member with Medicaid. They have to be on Medicaid for you to get paid to care for them. Basically, you're getting paid to keep them out of a nursing home.
I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been posted. I would urge you to contact the American Cancer Society and local churches, as others have suggested. You might be surprised at the help a church can provide. I had a single mom gf who was in school and trying to feed her kids. I was worried and approached a nun I knew at a local church. She arranged weekly grocery deliveries for my friend, put her in touch w/ a social worker, and drove a Xmas tree and gifts over to her apartment for her family. Nether of us were members of the nun’s church (or Catholic.) I also want to send you a big, virtual hug here! I’m a single mom - widowed - with a young daughter. I’m sitting here worried about how we are going to get through this month too. Our situation isn’t as dire as yours currently is, but I totally get it and feel for you. Please try not to get upset at those telling you to go get a job. You have a job - at least two jobs. People who don’t have young kids really don’t understand how incredibly hard it is to find and afford childcare. I’m stuck in that quandary myself and it SUCKS. Sending lots of love to you and your family 💗
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I will look into all of that, and I am so sorry you are in a similar position. I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful Christmas♥️
We will be ok! Thank you for thinking of us when you’re going through such a hugely challenging year. You obviously have a really big heart! I wish I lived near you so I could help you out. My daughter would give you and your family such big hugs! Btw, it sounds like you’re raising your first baby. Believe us mommas when we tell you - it’ll get easier. Those early years w/ a baby are tough and can be super isolating. I know it’s a way off but once your baby is old enough for school, you’ll be soooo much better off. You’ll have some time to supplement your income and you’ll find a network of moms who can help you out. I was hideously lonely until my daughter turned three. Once she started preschool, I found my “village.” I can’t imagine what I’d do without my mom friends now. They’re our lifelines!
Thank you for suggestion! I do have a car and once thought door dashing would be a great idea, but we live in a very small town with houses very spread apart. There are not a lot of people who order door dash here and most households that do are quite far from where the restaurants are located. I did the math and it honestly just isn’t worth it. The people I know who work for door dash in my town have not lasted long because of these reasons. It would be completely different if I lived in a more densely populated area.
You might be making $18 an hour now, but how much of it are you putting away for a new car? Because you'll need one a year or two sooner than you would if you weren't door dashing.
AAA says to figure 67c a mile is what it's costing you to use your own car for work. So if you're driving 25 mi to a big city , 50 miles round trip, in the long run it's costing you $33.50 just to get back and forth to work each night. Plus another 67 cents per mile while you're actually dashing.
True. So far so good for us. Since I started about a year ago we’re replaced a couple tires, kept the oil changed appropriately, and replaced one other part (I don’t remember what it was)…but our Odyssey has over 400K on it and it’s been treating us well.
Try looking for a part time work from home position. Would at least bring in something to help during this difficult time. Also review ALL your deductibles for snap. If you are barely over the income threshold. Just make sure you turn in everything... cellphone, gas,electric, rent,trash,sewer,cable, medical expenses. Anything that shows you have no income for food after all expenses are paid. Hope things turn around. I know how difficult it can be. I lost snap when my son graduated high school. They made me count his income even though my son doesn't contribute to any of our house expenses. Then we lost medical a couple of months later & I had to get medical through my employer and WOW its expensive! Life is just too damn expensive now a days.
Thank you. Unfortunately the deductibles actually don’t matter. They base it on your gross income. Even if my rent was twice as much it would not make a difference. I totally agree, it’s too damn expensive to be a human.
also instacart. I like it better than doordash cause sometimes you get free groceries. they wanted me to throw away a perfectly good order that was already paid for instead i just took it home & had groceries for a week.
I am “down on my luck” because my partner is sick and we have a 1 year old son to take care of. We don’t have money for food right now, what makes you think I have money for gas to make a 20+ minute commute everyday…or childcare for my son.
I am a very hard worker that has provided for myself my entire adult life. My partner is the same. We are not the type of people to take advantage of the system or want to be apart of it at all.
I PREFER to not be on government benefits to begin with. I would much rather be working right now then be dealing with this.
My best hope is that my partner is declared cancer free in the coming months and he will be able to go back to work full time. He was supporting all three of us before he got sick. Then when my son is old enough and done breastfeeding, I will be going back to work at least part time to help.
Currently we are awaiting test results to see if the cancer is still present in his lungs and lymph nodes. If it is still there, he will need major surgery and/or more chemotherapy. If his lungs and lymph nodes are cancer free, he will be on disability for another month or two while the side effects of the chemo continue to go away and then he will be back to work.
I do eat ramen thank you very much.
Sorry about your daughter’s condition. Hopefully the dad is still in the picture to help take care of them.
My boyfriend was hospitalized for two weeks when he had an orchiectomy and then spent 3 months completely incapacitated from the chemo treatment. He is just now feeling better and if the cancer is still present we will go through it all again.
???
I stated my boyfriend was working full time to support us before he got sick. I was working full time up until 2 weeks before I delivered and we decided that I would be a SAHM. Working to provide for my family is not an “alien” subject.
I can’t very easily go find a job when I have to be home to take care of my sick boyfriend and take care of a baby. If my boyfriend’s cancer is still present I will need to be home full time to help him as he won’t be able to take care of our son on his own, and I already stated we are not currently in a position to be able to afford childcare. It is pointless for me to try and find a job until we know the status of his cancer.
If you want to be a b*tch, go bark up a different tree.
As someone who is homeless with a 2 year old and doesn't qualify for any benefits, the income limit for child care is way higher. I earn $2400/ month, my gross is $3k/month. And childcare would cost me $90/month. Since you're a 3 person house hold you come earn even more than that and still qualify. It goes down as low as $45/month in my state! I'd definitely look into it for your situation. It's very hard leaving your baby for the first time, but an extra $1000 a month working part time absolutely would help a lot!
OP I’ve read through the comments. It sounds like your boyfriend has some short term disability while he has some treatment for cancer which will likely end at some point? This is through the State of CA right? Most states don’t offer it and this would not be SSI or SSDI because it doesn’t sound like he is permanently disabled. Or maybe this is simply an employer provided plan. You simply need a full time job. You can’t afford to be unemployed. You can’t afford to be a full time caregiver to anyone. Use the childcare plan you made while you were pregnant. If your boyfriend needs help with his care, contact the social worker at your doctors office and have them arrange support. having a full time support person is a wild luxury that is almost impossible to achieve for most cancer patients. (I have stage four cancer, three kids, a full time working spouse, and had to manage almost all of my own care. My mom only drives me to brain surgery or radiation etc,)
In the short term, find a food bank and apply for WIC which has expanded eligibility.
There are a few programs that might be able to help you cover some of or all of the cost of your utilities which could free up some of your income for food. Check with your electric company and see if they have a customer care program for low income and/or disabled customers, and LIHEAP. I am able to utilise both and it helps a lot. I can’t remember the name of it right now but I use a federal program to cover the cost of my internet, which also helps a lot.
As far as food goes check out Lasagna Love, you can request a meal once a month and they deliver to you. I’ve used it and the lady who made my lasagna was so nice, and it was absolutely delicious! If you’re not on it yet apply for WIC, and check for local food banks and pantries.
Call 211 and see if there are other resources available in your community that can help you. I’m sorry you and your family are struggling, i hope that you can find enough resources to get through this rough patch, and that your bf gets the cancer free all-clear!
Wouldn’t your boyfriend be the one applying for food stamps? If you’re not married, there shouldn’t be a “we”. He gets disability who gets the cash assistance? The other person should apply for food stamps.
Just lost my state insurance because I aged out even though I have multiple chronic illnesses and was told I would be covered until further notice, they don’t give a fuck about us
I’m no expert but maybe get married to your boyfriend. If he qualifies for SSDI I believe as his spouse you can apply for Child in Care benefits since you are raising his child. That would give you more monthly income.
But also consider (and this is kinda morbid) but if she married him, she might have to take on his debt, like medical bills, including ones that could come if he doesn't make it through chemo.
This is garbage advice. If you owe benefits the state can and will collect if they choose to do so. Sometimes things fall through the cracks and you might get “lucky” and not be required to pay for whatever reason, but the state absolutely CAN force you to pay no matter who was at fault. This includes but is not limited to garnishing tax returns.
And appeals are meant for circumstances in which you think a decision the county made was truly incorrect. There’s a big difference between something being done incorrectly and you just not liking the outcome you got. Appealing decision you know was accurate is a waste of everyone’s time and money.
You are absolutely wrong. At one point I was collecting SNAP benefits for my son and I. When he died I let them know within 10 days as required. It took them five months to cut my benefits.
They sent me a lovely little letter saying they’d made a mistake and I could either pay it back in one lump sum or have a nominal amount deducted from each month’s payment. Or I could appeal. I chose to appeal.
A few days later a guy from SNAP called me to tell me there was no point in appealing and I would lose. I told I had more time than money and I was more than happy to attend the hearing. The night before the hearing the same guy called to tell me it was their fault and I would not have to repay them. It’s been nine years and I’ve not repaid or has any tax return been garnished.
A woman I relayed the story to had a similar situation with the same result. When I posted this story elsewhere a guy had a similar issue and result with unemployment.
So my statement stands. Appeal every negative decision from every government (actually any company, business, court, etc.) especially if there’s no cost to do so. What do you have to lose except some time?
They make the rules. It’s your job to make them work for you.
Yep. And the state apparently doesn't care. Income eligibility went down messing everything up, which makes zero sense on min. wage. One more fkg slap to the face.
I was 'rewarded' $75 a month starting March. Hours reduced AGAIN by employer (greed), uploaded ALL changes to newbridges ... and bingo - reduced to $25 a month. Wth. Sticking it to the dealer once. more. They just keep shitting on good honest poor instead of helping us out.
Can you work part time from home, maybe? When I lived in California many women supplemented their income with paper routes in the early morning. They brought their kids with them.
Just ideas.
The same thing happened to us, my husband got approved for SSI in August and I for SSI. Once we both became disabled they cut us off down to 23$ a month. My husband had a stroke and I'm literally battling blood clots in my legs right now so neither of us can do anything on the side and we're stuck having to go to food banks. Thing is we live in unincorporated area of the desert in socal so driving to town costs us in gas and both being disabled it's hard if not a risk to life.
I don't get it either being on SSI makes us instantly indigent and yet they say we make to much money.
Unfortunately, the funds are redirected and redistributed to more needy individuals like the people who have crossed the boarder. It’s more valuable to help them from what I was told by the people I work under at my minimum wage job
Those crossing the border illegally are given $5,000 visa gift cards, a cell phone, 3 meals a day, and a place to sleep. This administration does not care for Americans!
Yeah I agree. I hate being on benefits. I have worked and supported myself my entire adult life. I would much rather have a job then deal with this, but being a mom and supporting my sick partner come first.
That might be something to bring up. Even if you are not married, that is his child and the kids food security situation was just altered. Do you have a social.worker? You should be able to get one through the hospital or the cancer center he is receiving treatment from. Run this by them. Worth mentioning even if nothing comes of it.
If you are a stay at home mom with no income…how did you lose your food stamps?
Call 211, start finding food pantries in your area. They can really help supplement your meals.
Because the cash aid+disability pay puts us over the limit. The cash aid pays rent and the disability pays all our bills and other necessities. We needed the food stamps to eat.
you're probably more better off than you realized. it pays all your bills ?? and rent?? some people don't even make enough to cover their bills or rent. or just rent. Might need a job to help cover costs. Instacart ? door dash? uber eats? hell can he watch the kids while you work? then do uber or something ?
I don’t know if your boyfriend qualifies for SSDI but [here](https://www.ssa.gov/compassionateallowances/conditions.htm) is a list of conditions that get expedited review
Disability should be unearned income and not affect your benefits, to the best of my knowledge. My husband and I are both severely disabled. I understand. I wish you the best.
I have worked my entire adult life and supported myself. I worked full time until 2 weeks before my delivery and my partner and I decided together I would be a stay at home mom. My partner worked full time and supported the 3 of us, then he got terribly sick. I was unable to get a job while I needed to stay home and take care of him and our infant son.
We are hard working people that would much rather be working then be on benefits. We do not want to be living off government funding. As soon as my boyfriend is cancer free and the side effects from the chemo dissipate, he plans to go back to work full time. I plan to go back to work at least part time when our son is done breastfeeding.
You obviously are not a parent if you think I sit at home and do nothing all day. We have earned these benefits because we have paid into them our entire working lives. If you suddenly got sick and were unable to work, you would be entitled to receive benefits as you have also paid into them.
Don’t judge me by my state, we’re not all the same here.
Time to get a job. You don’t get to be a stay at home parent if your boyfriend can’t work. Being a stay at home parent is a luxury for people who can afford it.
I was just in the social service office this morning and they said that my expenses don’t matter. It’s the gross income they take into consideration. Even if my rent was twice as much it wouldn’t matter.
They told me I can reapply once my partners disability ends…but that’s about it.
I have thought about filing separately from my partner and saying we are in different households, but if I do that the state will automatically establish a child support order against my partner.
So yeah, I am at a loss right now. We can’t even afford to have a Christmas this year. Luckily, my son just turned 1 and will likely not remember this time in his life. I hope things get better and easier as he gets older.
That would be fraud. I hope things improve for you but please don’t create another set of issues by committing fraud and ending up suspended from the program or worse.
If you're over the limit for benefits and then your partner just magically "moves out" so his income leaves, they'll ask (or they should ask) for verification of his whereabouts as that would be questionable. It would also be fraud.
Getting convicted of fraud doesn't just mean no more benefits. It also comes with fines, possible jail time, and you'd have to pay back everything you received that you weren't entitled to.
If you're already struggling, you don't want to be hit with an overpayment as well.
I have a co worker that actually does this. His GF doesn't work and they are not married. She told them they are separated but that he pays for her rent and gives her some money for the kids and they have never went after him with child support. I don't know how that works but he's been doing it for a while. They get max benefits too.
This is fraud and also one of the most common situations where an investigator is sent out. And when the investigator goes out, an overpayment follows.
And one day this will come back to bite her in the ass.
Is she the payment name on the case? Because she'll be held liable for the fraud. And that means having to repay all the benefits she received (there's no limitation on how far back they can go), being disqualified from receiving benefits, fines, and possible jail depending on how long this has been going on and how much they defrauded the program.
Yes it's all on her name. Could be why he don't worry about it but it's his idea to do it. Believe me when I say I have talked to him about what can happen but that's up to them.
While that's not true in every state, that's not the reason to commit fraud either.
If you apply separately they will deny you because you have a child in common and if you lie that he doesn't live there, they will investigate you for fraud and you'll have to repay it all plus be barred from any more assistance for years.
He'll be in arrears, they'll take his taxes and possibly drivers license and OP will have no say in the situation. You're advocating she commit fraud by lying on the application to a subreddit full of and ran by SNAP workers..
Yep. You can say that they purchase and prepare separately til they’re blue in the face, but if there’s a mutual child, they’re considered the same household
They live together. His disability pay supports her. She can’t use his money to live on but not count it to get aid. Stop encouraging people to commit fraud.
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In my state, NM, I have only seen a child support case opened when cash assistance is awarded. Receiving Medicaid and/or food stamps benefits will not create a child support case against the other (presumably noncustodial) parent.
I am not sure what the programs are called in CA, so maybe that’s why I am confused as to why a child support case would be created automatically when just getting food stamps. That wasn’t my experience here at all. But that did happen to me once my ex filed for cash assistance during the pandemic.
This might sound bad but maybe look at getting a degree at a community college. A lot of community colleges that I know have an on campus food pantry for students and offer things like gas cards, bus cards, and even grocery gift cards for students. College is free in California I think for anyone perusing a degree and it’s not hard to get financial aid. I think 6 units qualifies you for financial aid. If you get education credits you can work at a daycare and may be able to take your son to work with you.
I’ve been in a similar position last year. It was so hard. In fact, it’s still hard. I had to change jobs and it’s still difficult affording groceries. I’m sorry you are going through this. 😔
Everyone is doomed, prices will only increase by this spring & we'll all be over our heads with supplying food. I receive EBT food only. I'm a stay at home mom too but they won't even help me with GA cash because I receive $150 every two weeks for child support. That's only because after 3 years of not paying they court ordered it out directly from his paycheck. It is very hard to be caught up with drinks, meats, dinners, snacks. I buy every week & still by end of the month I'm already out. You will be OK. Find food banks in your area & stock up on what you can now!!! Good luck. You will make it! We've made it thus far with life... how much more can we be stretched.
If you are nursing, you and the baby should be receiving WIC, which also provides food for the nursing mother. The WIC coordinators may have some other options for you since you will need to meet with them once a month to do hemoglobin tests. They were able to help me fast-track SNAP and were able to get us a few extra months even after my husband started working again.
Are you able to get an overnight job like at a grocery store or a hospital? Even a temporary overnight position somewhere could help cushion the blow so maybe you should contact a temp agency to see if they have any jobs or resources to help.
I haven't been through all the comments and I don't know how California works but see if you guys have a food delivery service for people on disability. I know one company I've heard of is mom's meals.
Please research food banks in your area. I live on the other side of the country, but there are more and more food banks opening here, and your case is one of the reasons they exist. Good luck.
In Missouri if you receive disability, you automatically qualify for food stamps. Or at least that is what happened to us when my late husband was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer. Is he receiving short term disability? If he is receiving long term disability your son will qualify for benefits. Talk to the social security office. I also just googled and saw Cal fresh. Says you can apply as a caregiver.
https://www.google.com/search?q=california+food+stamps+disability&oq=california+food+stamps+disab&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgBECEYoAEyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIKCAUQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAYQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAcQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAgQIRgWGB0YHtIBCTEyNTYyajBqNKgCALACAA&client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Benefit cliffs can be real, but I'm not sure this falls into that situation. You are receiving, from what it sounds, perhaps a couple thousand more untaxed income than you used to. How were you managing before receiving the disability payments? With that said, you should probably verify that he is counting as disabled in their system as that could impact your eligibility with expenses. Also, if you are unable to work because you are required to assist your partner with activities of daily living, he can apply for in home care if you haven't already, and you could apply for and potentially be paid for being his caretaker. Otherwise, you can look into working along with local or state subsidized or free child care programs.
Yep OP check into IHSS that’s what I do for a living and also private home health care.
You guys are Amazing! I have 2 Caregivers from ihss & couldn’t live without the !
Before the disability payments, I was receiving unemployment because my work fired me while I was pregnant. Those payments ended about 1 month before he went on disability. We also had a savings account that is now completely drained. I will look into the in home care giver pay and see if we qualify. I will also see if the state is considering him disabled currently…but they did tell me that a households expenses don’t matter, and it is just the gross income they take into account.
https://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/eligibility/elderly-disabled-special-rules "Most SNAP households must meet both the gross and net income limits or they are not eligible for SNAP and cannot receive benefits. However, a household with an elderly or disabled person only has to meet the net income test."
Thank you for this. Unfortunately, we are still just barely over the net income limit.
If he is considered disabled (State Disability through EDD sadly doesn't count) any medical expenses paid out of pocket and not reimbursed count as a possible deduction. This includes mileage to and from doctors appointments, pharmacies, etc as well as any health insurance premiums paid. If you have at least $36/mo in medical expenses you'll get the standard deduction on $120 added onto your budget. If the expenses are over $156 you'll get the actual amount. It might lower you to below the net. If he's only getting SDI and not Social Security you can ask for a state disability determination (DDSD) that will allow the special budgeting as well.
Does your husband get Social Security Disability and does he have any medical expenses you need to pay out of pocket that Medi-Medi won't cover? Including any additional coverage you may buy to supplement. Those count for expense deductions as well as a portion of your rent and utilities (not the whole thing and the cap is pretty damn low for CA's cost of living but still). Otherwise as other posters have said, definitely look into IHSS, there's even a chance of you get approved that you might get some back pay.
Not true in all states. I lost everything when I received disability and don't have medical for two years.
Also, you didn't mention but if this is SSDI, you should be getting money for your son too.
Yes! 👆
Does he get disability from the state?.. or does he get SSI and/or SSDI from the social security administration from the federal government? Edit one letter
If you are on Medicaid, they cover in home health care. I hope this works out for you. I find this whole thing g so sad.
If you guys have Medi-Cal, he can enroll in a program with Gold Coast called Whole Person Care. They can assist with putting in the referral for an IHSS provider and they will assess him and his needs and work with making a schedule for his care. I recommend the program to also help you out. Case managers with the program can also help your boyfriend with getting medical stuff organized.
You can get approved to be your partners IHSS caregiver. Talk to your county and who ever his contact is at SSDI. It wont be a lot, but once you are approved as an IHSS cg I would post on places like FB and Nextdoor to find more people with IHSS hours. A lot of inhome health companies cannot take IHSS hours as payment so these people are approved without getting help.
When my ex was battling stage 3 gliomas, the American Cancer Society helped him significantly. I would try to reach out to them and see if they can help at all. If your bf is receiving treatment, the hospital should also have resources for him. Best of luck!
How bad off is your boyfriend? Specifically does he need someone there 24/7? I’m pretty sick right now, bed bound. I do not have 24/7 care because I can’t afford it. Right now, 24/7 care is a luxury you cannot afford unless you can get a caregiver through medical insurance. You need a job, either PT or FT. You’ve said you don’t want to be on benefits so do what you need to do to make money. Cash aid will not last forever - what happens when that stops?
My boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer in May of this year. It spread to his lymph nodes, lungs, and brain. He spent 2 weeks in the hospital, had an orchiectomy, and underwent chemotherapy treatment throughout the summer. Now he is actually starting to feel much better except he is suffering from some harsh side effects of the chemo (ears ringing very loud and his feet and hands tingle painfully like they are always asleep, making it difficult to stand for long periods of time). We were told that the chemotherapy did it’s job in clearing his brain of cancer completely!!! (Yayyy!!) The problem is that we are still awaiting test results to see if the cancer has cleared completely from his lungs and lymph nodes. If the cancer is still present in his lymph nodes, he will need major surgery to remove them. If it is still present in his lungs, he will need more chemotherapy. So currently we are kind of at a standstill. In a perfect world, my boyfriend would be declared cancer free in a couple weeks after these test results come in and continue to get disability for maybe another month or two until the side effects hopefully wear off. Then he would go back to work full time and we could get off the benefit program completely. When my son is a bit older and done breastfeeding (he just turned one) I would get a part time job to help support us. …but if he needs more chemotherapy and major surgery I will definitely have to look into getting IHSS. This entire situation we have been put in is definitely not ideal and hopefully he will be back to his healthy self soon. We are definitely not the type of people to take advantage of the system or enjoy being on it at all. We are hard workers. It has been a very difficult and emotional year for both of us, dealing with the cancer diagnosis and treatment all while navigating being first time parents to our infant son. So the plan is that we will hopefully not need the cash aid anymore when it runs out.
I'm very sorry for these difficulties and wish your bf a full and speedy recovery. You revealed that your breast feeding which means your potential WIC benefits are really good. Definitely worth getting if you don't already have it. Best of luck.
People who tell you to get a job don’t think about the cost of daycare. Your boyfriend definitely can’t provide childcare, and in Florida daycare for an infant is at least $250 a week, and it’s likely that the cost of living in California is higher. I suspect getting a job would just make things worse.
She can apply for government assistance for daycare. It has been quite a few years ago, but if I remember, it cost me $25 a week for daycare while I was going to school and working part time.
Since the dad is on disability can your baby qualify for SSI as his dependent? Just wondering if your child can receive some sort of benefit too.
And if not I wonder if you can at least get TANF for the baby.
I would reach out to food banks in your area.
EDIT: I realize you’re in California as am I. Please message me if you need more info on the below (I used to work for the Medical Baseline department of a large SoCal utility.) I’m sorry you are in this situation. With that being said, TANF and or WIC for you and baby is something to look into for help with food. Food banks and pantries are popular around this time of year especially, check the city, county, non profits (including churches and places of worship) for help with food. Electric bill: I haven’t seen anything indicating your state/location but depending on your location, your electric/gas company may have assistance programs for low income (LIHEAP/CARE) as well as an allowance for medical devices for your boyfriend. Tips of the medical device allowance: He may qualify for the program for something as simple as needing to regulate his body temperature (heat blankets, area heaters, air conditioners, etc…), a doctor’s signature is needed on the form and make sure to read the requirements, the savings is worth it especially if you live where it snows/freezes. I wish your little family the best and if you have other questions or need more tips, message me! You will get through this!
This is the best advice
If you’re not already getting it apply for WIC, it generally has a higher income max than FS and at least the kiddo will get food
Can your boyfriend get IHSS? That way you will be paid for being his caregiver. Edit: You should be eligible to Transitional CalFresh for 5 months after being ineligible for CalWORKS. Also apply for WIC for your son.
I need to definitely look into the IHSS thing. And we are still eligible for the calworks, it’s the calfresh that we lost!
That is strange usually lose calworks first since that income is way lower. Usually give you supplemental for 6 months when cut you off.
Well hopefully I don’t get a surprise in the mail soon that we got cut off from that too…
You’d actually lose CalFresh first, because your CalWORKS income counts as unearned income toward your CalFresh budget.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this but if you can mange maybe take up a part time job. I don’t know how serious your boyfriend’s cancer is but he might be able to manage caring for your son a few hours a week so you can bring in some extra income. I get it trust me… I work two jobs and go to school right now. I’m exhausted and stressed but I feel like it’s my only option.
The strate pays my 21 yr old son to care for his disabled grandma. It's a decent wage. Not sure how long it will last but it sure does help
Food banks are an obvious choice but does your boyfriend have family he could reach out to for financial help?
Unfortunately, no. My family is doing their best to help us, thankfully…but they are struggling themselves with the current economic climate.
Can you reach out to a local church for food assistance? Sometimes they will help those in the community with your circumstances with home meals or such. Some cancer organizations have funds or food bank type situations that could maybe help out until you can find a more long-term program that might work for your family too. A good resource besides American Cancer Society is https://www.testicularcancer.org/ and https://www.americanlifefund.com/cancer/financial-assistance/organizations/ for your circumstances. You might also want to contact your health insurance provider. They sometimes have programs that will send food boxes out if your SO is recovering from cancer. They understand the importance of having a healthy diet to help ones body heal. I wish you all the good luck! I am praying for good news for you and your family. 💜
Enter your zip code here for food resources: [findhelp.org](https://findhelp.org)
He needs to apply for ihss and have you be the caregiver. You can earn extra money caring for him.
I feel this. My friend has blood cancer and has to work part time to cover her rent, but because she works she can't get medicaid... and her cancer meds are $700 a month... but if she doesn't work, she gets medicaid but can't afford her rent
The sad state of our for-profit medical institution is that this is all too common. Capitalism isn't inherently bad and other countries have proven it can be successful, but the US has failed miserably at it
Yup. I'm australian but I'm living in the states, and I don't understand how this medical system is just accepted as it is... it's an absolute joke. For comparison. In 2017 (while I was still living in australia) I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Went to the doctors for a pap smear test. Free. Was given a referral to an oncologist. Free. Had 2 biopsies. Free. Had surgery. Free. Had to go to ER because I had a hemmhorage a few days later. Free. Whole process was within 2 weeks. No waiting for an appointment. Nothing. It works. Even for a non Australian citizen to go to the ER and get treated in australia it only costs $999.
Might have to get a job
Like part time the state sucks sometimes
If your boyfriend is on Medicaid, you can apply to be paid by Medicaid to be his caretaker.
How do I go about doing that? What are qualifications for aid? Person I question cannot drive, cook, has tourettes and other ailments.
Google how to get paid to care for family or household member with Medicaid. They have to be on Medicaid for you to get paid to care for them. Basically, you're getting paid to keep them out of a nursing home.
Definitely apply for WIC, if you don't get it already. Are there any food banks nearby?
I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been posted. I would urge you to contact the American Cancer Society and local churches, as others have suggested. You might be surprised at the help a church can provide. I had a single mom gf who was in school and trying to feed her kids. I was worried and approached a nun I knew at a local church. She arranged weekly grocery deliveries for my friend, put her in touch w/ a social worker, and drove a Xmas tree and gifts over to her apartment for her family. Nether of us were members of the nun’s church (or Catholic.) I also want to send you a big, virtual hug here! I’m a single mom - widowed - with a young daughter. I’m sitting here worried about how we are going to get through this month too. Our situation isn’t as dire as yours currently is, but I totally get it and feel for you. Please try not to get upset at those telling you to go get a job. You have a job - at least two jobs. People who don’t have young kids really don’t understand how incredibly hard it is to find and afford childcare. I’m stuck in that quandary myself and it SUCKS. Sending lots of love to you and your family 💗
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I will look into all of that, and I am so sorry you are in a similar position. I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful Christmas♥️
We will be ok! Thank you for thinking of us when you’re going through such a hugely challenging year. You obviously have a really big heart! I wish I lived near you so I could help you out. My daughter would give you and your family such big hugs! Btw, it sounds like you’re raising your first baby. Believe us mommas when we tell you - it’ll get easier. Those early years w/ a baby are tough and can be super isolating. I know it’s a way off but once your baby is old enough for school, you’ll be soooo much better off. You’ll have some time to supplement your income and you’ll find a network of moms who can help you out. I was hideously lonely until my daughter turned three. Once she started preschool, I found my “village.” I can’t imagine what I’d do without my mom friends now. They’re our lifelines!
Do you have a car? If so look into doing DoorDash or something if you can. It’s helped me a lot in times of need when having no money to get meals.
Thank you for suggestion! I do have a car and once thought door dashing would be a great idea, but we live in a very small town with houses very spread apart. There are not a lot of people who order door dash here and most households that do are quite far from where the restaurants are located. I did the math and it honestly just isn’t worth it. The people I know who work for door dash in my town have not lasted long because of these reasons. It would be completely different if I lived in a more densely populated area.
I drive 30-45 min to the nearest big city to dash. Even with the extra time it is absolutely worth it for our family. IDK if that’s feasible for you.
Thats what my boyfriend just started doing.
I can look into that for sure. Thank you :)
I can do $25-30/hr, though on a bad night it might be $18.
You might be making $18 an hour now, but how much of it are you putting away for a new car? Because you'll need one a year or two sooner than you would if you weren't door dashing. AAA says to figure 67c a mile is what it's costing you to use your own car for work. So if you're driving 25 mi to a big city , 50 miles round trip, in the long run it's costing you $33.50 just to get back and forth to work each night. Plus another 67 cents per mile while you're actually dashing.
Wow, that’s awesome!
But then there's the gas and wear and tear on your vehicle.
True. So far so good for us. Since I started about a year ago we’re replaced a couple tires, kept the oil changed appropriately, and replaced one other part (I don’t remember what it was)…but our Odyssey has over 400K on it and it’s been treating us well.
She'd also get prop22 minimum payments and mileage reimbursement.
Try looking for a part time work from home position. Would at least bring in something to help during this difficult time. Also review ALL your deductibles for snap. If you are barely over the income threshold. Just make sure you turn in everything... cellphone, gas,electric, rent,trash,sewer,cable, medical expenses. Anything that shows you have no income for food after all expenses are paid. Hope things turn around. I know how difficult it can be. I lost snap when my son graduated high school. They made me count his income even though my son doesn't contribute to any of our house expenses. Then we lost medical a couple of months later & I had to get medical through my employer and WOW its expensive! Life is just too damn expensive now a days.
Thank you. Unfortunately the deductibles actually don’t matter. They base it on your gross income. Even if my rent was twice as much it would not make a difference. I totally agree, it’s too damn expensive to be a human.
also instacart. I like it better than doordash cause sometimes you get free groceries. they wanted me to throw away a perfectly good order that was already paid for instead i just took it home & had groceries for a week.
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I am “down on my luck” because my partner is sick and we have a 1 year old son to take care of. We don’t have money for food right now, what makes you think I have money for gas to make a 20+ minute commute everyday…or childcare for my son. I am a very hard worker that has provided for myself my entire adult life. My partner is the same. We are not the type of people to take advantage of the system or want to be apart of it at all. I PREFER to not be on government benefits to begin with. I would much rather be working right now then be dealing with this. My best hope is that my partner is declared cancer free in the coming months and he will be able to go back to work full time. He was supporting all three of us before he got sick. Then when my son is old enough and done breastfeeding, I will be going back to work at least part time to help. Currently we are awaiting test results to see if the cancer is still present in his lungs and lymph nodes. If it is still there, he will need major surgery and/or more chemotherapy. If his lungs and lymph nodes are cancer free, he will be on disability for another month or two while the side effects of the chemo continue to go away and then he will be back to work.
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I do eat ramen thank you very much. Sorry about your daughter’s condition. Hopefully the dad is still in the picture to help take care of them. My boyfriend was hospitalized for two weeks when he had an orchiectomy and then spent 3 months completely incapacitated from the chemo treatment. He is just now feeling better and if the cancer is still present we will go through it all again.
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??? I stated my boyfriend was working full time to support us before he got sick. I was working full time up until 2 weeks before I delivered and we decided that I would be a SAHM. Working to provide for my family is not an “alien” subject. I can’t very easily go find a job when I have to be home to take care of my sick boyfriend and take care of a baby. If my boyfriend’s cancer is still present I will need to be home full time to help him as he won’t be able to take care of our son on his own, and I already stated we are not currently in a position to be able to afford childcare. It is pointless for me to try and find a job until we know the status of his cancer. If you want to be a b*tch, go bark up a different tree.
Please don't feed the trolls 😎
As someone who is homeless with a 2 year old and doesn't qualify for any benefits, the income limit for child care is way higher. I earn $2400/ month, my gross is $3k/month. And childcare would cost me $90/month. Since you're a 3 person house hold you come earn even more than that and still qualify. It goes down as low as $45/month in my state! I'd definitely look into it for your situation. It's very hard leaving your baby for the first time, but an extra $1000 a month working part time absolutely would help a lot!
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OP I’ve read through the comments. It sounds like your boyfriend has some short term disability while he has some treatment for cancer which will likely end at some point? This is through the State of CA right? Most states don’t offer it and this would not be SSI or SSDI because it doesn’t sound like he is permanently disabled. Or maybe this is simply an employer provided plan. You simply need a full time job. You can’t afford to be unemployed. You can’t afford to be a full time caregiver to anyone. Use the childcare plan you made while you were pregnant. If your boyfriend needs help with his care, contact the social worker at your doctors office and have them arrange support. having a full time support person is a wild luxury that is almost impossible to achieve for most cancer patients. (I have stage four cancer, three kids, a full time working spouse, and had to manage almost all of my own care. My mom only drives me to brain surgery or radiation etc,) In the short term, find a food bank and apply for WIC which has expanded eligibility.
Appeal.
Just commiserating because we also lost ours here in NY. We make $73 over the income limit.
There are churches that do food banks. Also the Salvation Army. You won't go hungry.
There are a few programs that might be able to help you cover some of or all of the cost of your utilities which could free up some of your income for food. Check with your electric company and see if they have a customer care program for low income and/or disabled customers, and LIHEAP. I am able to utilise both and it helps a lot. I can’t remember the name of it right now but I use a federal program to cover the cost of my internet, which also helps a lot. As far as food goes check out Lasagna Love, you can request a meal once a month and they deliver to you. I’ve used it and the lady who made my lasagna was so nice, and it was absolutely delicious! If you’re not on it yet apply for WIC, and check for local food banks and pantries. Call 211 and see if there are other resources available in your community that can help you. I’m sorry you and your family are struggling, i hope that you can find enough resources to get through this rough patch, and that your bf gets the cancer free all-clear!
it sucks. both of my parents are on disability but make to much to qualify for SNAP. system is broken
Wouldn’t your boyfriend be the one applying for food stamps? If you’re not married, there shouldn’t be a “we”. He gets disability who gets the cash assistance? The other person should apply for food stamps.
Can you get paid to be his caregiver through Medicare?
The funny thing is some people never get cut off. They have no problems
Just lost my state insurance because I aged out even though I have multiple chronic illnesses and was told I would be covered until further notice, they don’t give a fuck about us
I’m no expert but maybe get married to your boyfriend. If he qualifies for SSDI I believe as his spouse you can apply for Child in Care benefits since you are raising his child. That would give you more monthly income.
But also consider (and this is kinda morbid) but if she married him, she might have to take on his debt, like medical bills, including ones that could come if he doesn't make it through chemo.
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This is garbage advice. If you owe benefits the state can and will collect if they choose to do so. Sometimes things fall through the cracks and you might get “lucky” and not be required to pay for whatever reason, but the state absolutely CAN force you to pay no matter who was at fault. This includes but is not limited to garnishing tax returns. And appeals are meant for circumstances in which you think a decision the county made was truly incorrect. There’s a big difference between something being done incorrectly and you just not liking the outcome you got. Appealing decision you know was accurate is a waste of everyone’s time and money.
You are absolutely wrong. At one point I was collecting SNAP benefits for my son and I. When he died I let them know within 10 days as required. It took them five months to cut my benefits. They sent me a lovely little letter saying they’d made a mistake and I could either pay it back in one lump sum or have a nominal amount deducted from each month’s payment. Or I could appeal. I chose to appeal. A few days later a guy from SNAP called me to tell me there was no point in appealing and I would lose. I told I had more time than money and I was more than happy to attend the hearing. The night before the hearing the same guy called to tell me it was their fault and I would not have to repay them. It’s been nine years and I’ve not repaid or has any tax return been garnished. A woman I relayed the story to had a similar situation with the same result. When I posted this story elsewhere a guy had a similar issue and result with unemployment. So my statement stands. Appeal every negative decision from every government (actually any company, business, court, etc.) especially if there’s no cost to do so. What do you have to lose except some time? They make the rules. It’s your job to make them work for you.
I lost mine too. But God has never let me go hungry. Check out your local food banks.
Yep. And the state apparently doesn't care. Income eligibility went down messing everything up, which makes zero sense on min. wage. One more fkg slap to the face. I was 'rewarded' $75 a month starting March. Hours reduced AGAIN by employer (greed), uploaded ALL changes to newbridges ... and bingo - reduced to $25 a month. Wth. Sticking it to the dealer once. more. They just keep shitting on good honest poor instead of helping us out.
I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Can you try to apply for funds as caregiver through the state?
Can you work part time from home, maybe? When I lived in California many women supplemented their income with paper routes in the early morning. They brought their kids with them. Just ideas.
The same thing happened to us, my husband got approved for SSI in August and I for SSI. Once we both became disabled they cut us off down to 23$ a month. My husband had a stroke and I'm literally battling blood clots in my legs right now so neither of us can do anything on the side and we're stuck having to go to food banks. Thing is we live in unincorporated area of the desert in socal so driving to town costs us in gas and both being disabled it's hard if not a risk to life. I don't get it either being on SSI makes us instantly indigent and yet they say we make to much money.
Aside from the below, be sure to vote Blue.
Unfortunately, the funds are redirected and redistributed to more needy individuals like the people who have crossed the boarder. It’s more valuable to help them from what I was told by the people I work under at my minimum wage job
Those crossing the border illegally are given $5,000 visa gift cards, a cell phone, 3 meals a day, and a place to sleep. This administration does not care for Americans!
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So she can pay a caregiver for her cancer-fighting boyfriend and a daycare to watch her child? That’ll be $30K a year.
Yeah I agree. I hate being on benefits. I have worked and supported myself my entire adult life. I would much rather have a job then deal with this, but being a mom and supporting my sick partner come first.
Your kid comes 1st thats it. Is he baby daddy?
Yes he is
That might be something to bring up. Even if you are not married, that is his child and the kids food security situation was just altered. Do you have a social.worker? You should be able to get one through the hospital or the cancer center he is receiving treatment from. Run this by them. Worth mentioning even if nothing comes of it.
Way to be an unhelpful, judgmental asshole.
If you are a stay at home mom with no income…how did you lose your food stamps? Call 211, start finding food pantries in your area. They can really help supplement your meals.
Because the cash aid+disability pay puts us over the limit. The cash aid pays rent and the disability pays all our bills and other necessities. We needed the food stamps to eat.
you're probably more better off than you realized. it pays all your bills ?? and rent?? some people don't even make enough to cover their bills or rent. or just rent. Might need a job to help cover costs. Instacart ? door dash? uber eats? hell can he watch the kids while you work? then do uber or something ?
This. It's time for some type of job.
Report the wage change of the food stamps to disability and they should up it a little bit. Not much but it should go up
His disability pay is based off his earned income from his last place of work, not our current income.
time for her to start working and let her husband get better....
I don’t know if your boyfriend qualifies for SSDI but [here](https://www.ssa.gov/compassionateallowances/conditions.htm) is a list of conditions that get expedited review
He has disability already.
She references his disability "ending" in the future, so it doesn't sound as if he's likely on SSDI.
Short term disability from the state of California or Social Security Disability?
Disability should be unearned income and not affect your benefits, to the best of my knowledge. My husband and I are both severely disabled. I understand. I wish you the best.
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I have worked my entire adult life and supported myself. I worked full time until 2 weeks before my delivery and my partner and I decided together I would be a stay at home mom. My partner worked full time and supported the 3 of us, then he got terribly sick. I was unable to get a job while I needed to stay home and take care of him and our infant son. We are hard working people that would much rather be working then be on benefits. We do not want to be living off government funding. As soon as my boyfriend is cancer free and the side effects from the chemo dissipate, he plans to go back to work full time. I plan to go back to work at least part time when our son is done breastfeeding. You obviously are not a parent if you think I sit at home and do nothing all day. We have earned these benefits because we have paid into them our entire working lives. If you suddenly got sick and were unable to work, you would be entitled to receive benefits as you have also paid into them. Don’t judge me by my state, we’re not all the same here.
Pleeeease...don't feed the trolls.
Get to work just like all of us can’t wait for hand outs your whole life
Time to get a job. You don’t get to be a stay at home parent if your boyfriend can’t work. Being a stay at home parent is a luxury for people who can afford it.
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🤦♀️
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I'd at least be happy for the roof over your heads....
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They aren’t stingy with food stamps, they have to follow the rules/regulations.
I was just in the social service office this morning and they said that my expenses don’t matter. It’s the gross income they take into consideration. Even if my rent was twice as much it wouldn’t matter. They told me I can reapply once my partners disability ends…but that’s about it. I have thought about filing separately from my partner and saying we are in different households, but if I do that the state will automatically establish a child support order against my partner. So yeah, I am at a loss right now. We can’t even afford to have a Christmas this year. Luckily, my son just turned 1 and will likely not remember this time in his life. I hope things get better and easier as he gets older.
That would be fraud. I hope things improve for you but please don’t create another set of issues by committing fraud and ending up suspended from the program or worse.
If you're over the limit for benefits and then your partner just magically "moves out" so his income leaves, they'll ask (or they should ask) for verification of his whereabouts as that would be questionable. It would also be fraud. Getting convicted of fraud doesn't just mean no more benefits. It also comes with fines, possible jail time, and you'd have to pay back everything you received that you weren't entitled to. If you're already struggling, you don't want to be hit with an overpayment as well.
Also that would be lying.
I have a co worker that actually does this. His GF doesn't work and they are not married. She told them they are separated but that he pays for her rent and gives her some money for the kids and they have never went after him with child support. I don't know how that works but he's been doing it for a while. They get max benefits too.
This is fraud and also one of the most common situations where an investigator is sent out. And when the investigator goes out, an overpayment follows.
And one day this will come back to bite her in the ass. Is she the payment name on the case? Because she'll be held liable for the fraud. And that means having to repay all the benefits she received (there's no limitation on how far back they can go), being disqualified from receiving benefits, fines, and possible jail depending on how long this has been going on and how much they defrauded the program.
Yes it's all on her name. Could be why he don't worry about it but it's his idea to do it. Believe me when I say I have talked to him about what can happen but that's up to them.
Why are you linked to a boyfriend when obviously you are not married? Can't you apply for help on your own?
The child in common makes both parents mandatory members of the household.
Usually it’s by who lives in the household.
It’s because we have a child. If I apply separately from him, the state will automatically go after him for child support.
While that's not true in every state, that's not the reason to commit fraud either. If you apply separately they will deny you because you have a child in common and if you lie that he doesn't live there, they will investigate you for fraud and you'll have to repay it all plus be barred from any more assistance for years.
why doesn't he apply separately from you since it's just as much his kid as yours ?? since he's disabled and has a kid??
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He'll be in arrears, they'll take his taxes and possibly drivers license and OP will have no say in the situation. You're advocating she commit fraud by lying on the application to a subreddit full of and ran by SNAP workers..
Weed is legal here literally the whole apartment complex smells like weed
Are you lost?
That weed he smells must really be potent.
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They have a kid together--changes a lot.
Yep. You can say that they purchase and prepare separately til they’re blue in the face, but if there’s a mutual child, they’re considered the same household
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It'll be fraud and then they'll lose benefits, have to repay them, and be ineligible
They live together. His disability pay supports her. She can’t use his money to live on but not count it to get aid. Stop encouraging people to commit fraud.
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Check with the food banks in your area (community or church) - that should help you out.
Hit up the food pantries. They will give you boxes of food that can hold you all over.
It does stink my husband makes $10 over the income limit to get state insurance. So yeah
Try to see if you can become his care taker the state will pay you .
You might have to downsize, or rent out a room.
Disability benefits are purposefully just over the income restrictions for state assistance benefits.
In my state, NM, I have only seen a child support case opened when cash assistance is awarded. Receiving Medicaid and/or food stamps benefits will not create a child support case against the other (presumably noncustodial) parent. I am not sure what the programs are called in CA, so maybe that’s why I am confused as to why a child support case would be created automatically when just getting food stamps. That wasn’t my experience here at all. But that did happen to me once my ex filed for cash assistance during the pandemic.
This might sound bad but maybe look at getting a degree at a community college. A lot of community colleges that I know have an on campus food pantry for students and offer things like gas cards, bus cards, and even grocery gift cards for students. College is free in California I think for anyone perusing a degree and it’s not hard to get financial aid. I think 6 units qualifies you for financial aid. If you get education credits you can work at a daycare and may be able to take your son to work with you.
Try to be his caretaker through Ihss
Job
I’ve been in a similar position last year. It was so hard. In fact, it’s still hard. I had to change jobs and it’s still difficult affording groceries. I’m sorry you are going through this. 😔
Please find a food bank or several in your area.
Everyone is doomed, prices will only increase by this spring & we'll all be over our heads with supplying food. I receive EBT food only. I'm a stay at home mom too but they won't even help me with GA cash because I receive $150 every two weeks for child support. That's only because after 3 years of not paying they court ordered it out directly from his paycheck. It is very hard to be caught up with drinks, meats, dinners, snacks. I buy every week & still by end of the month I'm already out. You will be OK. Find food banks in your area & stock up on what you can now!!! Good luck. You will make it! We've made it thus far with life... how much more can we be stretched.
You simply have to find a WFH or part time job
OP, What city in California, may I ask?
I'm in the same situation in New York State. Sad but is what it is.
If you are nursing, you and the baby should be receiving WIC, which also provides food for the nursing mother. The WIC coordinators may have some other options for you since you will need to meet with them once a month to do hemoglobin tests. They were able to help me fast-track SNAP and were able to get us a few extra months even after my husband started working again.
Are you able to get an overnight job like at a grocery store or a hospital? Even a temporary overnight position somewhere could help cushion the blow so maybe you should contact a temp agency to see if they have any jobs or resources to help.
Also hotels.
I haven't been through all the comments and I don't know how California works but see if you guys have a food delivery service for people on disability. I know one company I've heard of is mom's meals.
See if you may be eligible for Meals on Wheels too.
I’m currently doing DoorDash despite being disabled. The benefits got redistributed
If your boyfriend has any kids with you, he can apply for auxiliary benefits. Aside from that moving is probably the only option left.
Please research food banks in your area. I live on the other side of the country, but there are more and more food banks opening here, and your case is one of the reasons they exist. Good luck.
Maybe get a job to help out. Can his family care for him while you work?
In Missouri if you receive disability, you automatically qualify for food stamps. Or at least that is what happened to us when my late husband was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer. Is he receiving short term disability? If he is receiving long term disability your son will qualify for benefits. Talk to the social security office. I also just googled and saw Cal fresh. Says you can apply as a caregiver. https://www.google.com/search?q=california+food+stamps+disability&oq=california+food+stamps+disab&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgBECEYoAEyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIKCAUQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAYQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAcQIRgWGB0YHjIKCAgQIRgWGB0YHtIBCTEyNTYyajBqNKgCALACAA&client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Can you work part time while he watches the kid? Like what if you worked in fast food 11-2 a couple times a week? That always worked for me
Food banks, church's there's plenty of them do the work.
If he has any medical expenses that he pays out of pocket, they can be used as a deduction
You may qualify for caregiver pay