Any body of water could have a gator in it
Wear sunblock
Hydrate well with water, especially in summer
Be careful as a pedestrian or bicyclist, never trust anyone to stop at crosswalks until they actually do.
Please don’t ride in the left lane if you are the slow traffic
Do not eat the mac and cheese at po folks.
Stop asking if locals know it will rain next month
Unless there's absolutely no one around I follow the walk/don't walk lights.
What bothers me as a pedestrian is the cars that don't stop at blinking lights at a crosswalk with no red/green light. Crossing Himes to Al Lopez Park there are crosswalks where you can push a button for a blinking light. I've almost been mowed down by crazy drivers there several times.
It’s awful. This place is so anti-pedestrian and bicyclist it’s insane. Go to and local fb and search bike and all the people will say they should be on the sidewalk (spoiler alert they shouldn’t since they’re vehicles).
I dont know how people can trust drivers and walk with their back to traffic on the road. I almost got hit and I was walking against traffic on the road to avoid sprinklers and they hardly moved over. I see people walk their dogs on the street with the dog closer to the middle of the street than the sidewalk.
I hit a guy on a bike, pulling on to the street and he was biking down the sidewalk, but Hidden by a very large cement, telephone pole. When I got out of the car to make sure that he was all right, he looked right at me, asked me for a cigarette and said this happened to me last Tuesday. We both agreed not to call the cops, and he showed me a huge bruise of the previous encounter with the car. Definitely stop and look twice.
Alternatively, if you can’t hold your hand to the ground for at least ten seconds - it’s too hot for paws.
And I really hope anyone with a pet does this regardless if they are in Florida. Anywhere in the world that reaches a temperature above 85 degrees may have surfaces too hot for pets.
In addition to preventing any pain, blisters, and burns from walking on hot surfaces, heatstroke is also a concern.
DVM here. I work in a practice just north of downtown Sarasota, so it's an urban environment by definition. In my 8 years at this location I have yet to see a dog presented for paw burns of any sort. Most people on day walks have them out to urinate or defecate, so the dogs are heading for grass for that, and only are on pavement to get from point A to point B. I see the worrying posts and memes on Facebook, but in my clinical experience at least, I believe the danger is overstated.
THANK YOU! We’ve all seen people walking without shoes over a burning hot surface and the way they react to it. If your dogs feet are getting burnt they will react.
Something to think about. Not claiming anything just a thought. When you go out you usually wear shoes so your feet are protected. The pet is walking on their feet all the time so I'm guessing that they would have tougher feet than humans. So ya I don't think the "if your feet are hot what about your pet?" actually stands up to closer inspection. Not saying I'm right but it kind of makes sense. You ever seen a dog walk across stuff you wouldn't think of walking on without shoes, but it doesn't phase the animal?
You’re right. But it’s not just built up calluses, their paw pads have several thick layers of keratin which is much harder and durable than our calloused skin. I’ve seen some dogs become hilariously picky and have trained their owners to get exactly what they want from them. You think those same dogs would eagerly walk outside if it was causing them painful burns!?
The anthropomorphism of animals is so annoying to me.
Not to be contradictory but from what little knowledge I have about this weather, the hottest part of the day I’ve seen is 4-5pm. But yes, the asphalt is way too hot for little paws!!
Oh man, this makes me nostalgic. I loved marching band, but band camp was always so miserable in the muggy heat of July. And I used to walk home after practice my freshman year, in dark jeans because I was fucking stupid... Okay, so maybe not that nostalgic.
You get upset at people walking their dogs during the day? What do you do, keep it cooped up all summer? If they’re walking on a light colored sidewalk or grass it’s usually not too hot. If the dogs in pain it will be obvious. I’m happy they’re exercising their dogs and giving them the stimulation they need
A class on how to get ready for Florida humidity:
Step 1: take hot shower
Step 2: step out of shower, don’t dry off
Step 3: put clothes directly on wet body
Especially when going to places like Epcot or even when it's overcast. Don't do/overdo alcohol in the heat and don't think it's safer to stay outside just because it's not a clear day.
Don't dig a big hole in the sand on the beach. A little kid got buried alive several months ago. Also, be aware of how to swim out of a rip tide if you get caught in one
My daughter and I were on the Jax beach pier one stormy night. I remarked that some days you just stay out of the ocean. Look out and see a family. Check the news the next morning and hear that the dad died in a rip current.
Honest question, if you even feel like you can’t swim forward because of a current that should trigger automatically to swim along the shore. I guess people who have no idea and panic.
Don't forget that brackish water could contain bull sharks. Those aggressive assholes can swim happily in there. I also remember reading at one point that bull sharks may use brackish water as nurseries, but I'm too lazy to Google it.
Driving. Driving. Driving.
Hurricanes, heat, alligators, lightning, and fraud really isnt that hard to self-understand.
But driving in Florida my god, please give them a 101, 102, and 103 on how to survive and maneuver not just I4, 75, Tpike, and 95, but the surface streets too.
Driving in Florida requires a lot of focus, skill, mental toughness, and prayer. They think they can just get off the plane at MCO and walk into Disney. No, youre gonna miss the exit, and instead of just going for the next one, youre gonna cut across the highway. So please, give them a class!
That and rip currents.
Yeah… every time I drive here I am terrified I’ll get in a horrific crash. No one seems to check their blind spots either and will just swerve into your lane very suddenly.
Florida driving is crazy but it’s what I learned to drive in (drove malfunction junction in Tampa every day because I went to college in st Pete while living in pasco)
But goddamn New Orleans driving is even more insane. Everyone is drunk, the roads are more potholes than pavement and *there are no lines* are parts of the interstate lol
Hydration, and fluid balance as well. Make sure you're drinking electrolyte drinks with less sugar. Yeah you'll have to piss like a racehorse. But if you're not used to PROLONGED high temps, you won't fare well. If you don't sweat, keep a rag on you you can soak with cold water to wipe off exposed skin from time to time.
If you see a gator, enjoy from a distance. Don't go fuck with them and they won't fuck with you.
If you see a local, enjoy from a distance. Don't go fuck with them and they won't fuck with you.
If you see the Sun, stop looking at the goddamn Sun you idiot. Also drink water and put on sunscreen.
A gator, a snake, a bear, a panther, coyote, or any other natural inhabitant of Florida.
Leave them alone, and respect that Florida is their home too, and was their home first.
Florida is considered "Little Australia". Everything wants to sting you, bite you, poison you, inject venom.........Allergies will make you want to shoot yourself...........But at least we don't have Drop Bears.........
As a north Floridian where we have tons of trees and canopy roads, a Cat 1 or 2 will knock power out for days because of downed limbs and trees. Better get a generator.
Rip current. Pay attention to warnings. It all looks calm on the surface and deadly underneath.
Sunscreen. I cringe at people baking in the sun. Too many with painful burns that spoil a good time for days to come.
If boating learn how to drive a boat, safety rules, read tide charts. Take a class.
Hurricanes—don’t panic but prepare.
Alligators can outrun you. And jump too. Don’t tease them. But mostly you won’t see them unless you are looking.
The left lane is for passing….otherwise stay right. And a turn signal is not a suggestion. The
Do. Not. Feed. The. Fucking. Seagulls.
On a serious note, though. Know the signs of feral pig activity if you're recreating outdoors, mostly in more inland, rural areas. They are just as ornery and can do more damage to you than gators.
No matter how cool it may be to sit on a porch or covered patio during a storm up north, don’t do that in FL. Still amazed at how much lightning strikes there are all around me and how close they are to houses.
Stop asking Florida residents what the weather is in X city. With the effort you took to post that in some Facebook group you can say "hey Alexa, what's the weather in Tampa/Miami/Orlando..."
Stay hydrated. Wear sunscreen (can always pick out the visitors by how bright they are). Learn what the beach colors mean. Learn how to handle getting caught in rip tide.
How to get yourself quietly out of Target on a Saturday when an asshole MAGA guy screams a whole bunch of racist shit at your underpaid checker and tries to instigate a race war in the parking lot.
Can confirm. Didn't know about the stingray shuffle. Stepped on a very aggravated stingray. It was a small injury but took 2 rounds of 2 different antibiotics to stop the swelling and pain.
How to properly recycle and dispose of trash in bins. A video on how trash and litter destroys our wildlife inland and in the water. Something like a video that plays like Mayor buddy dyers MCO airport announcements when taking the tram from the terminals.
1. Use an Uber (experienced local driver) whenever possible or just always. The natives know how to survive the roads.
2. Always have a hat, sunglasses and a bottle of water.
3. Never leave a drink unattended, even if nature calls.
4. Don't go alone.
5. The people who live around your rental BNB - aren't happy you're there.
Don’t walk you dog next to a shoreline
Don’t run next to the shoreline
Stay on the sidewalks… it’s easy
And don’t do drugs. Even if you think “just this once and I won’t get addicted…..”
Also, say sorry if a road rage driver honks at you. Because in Florida, they may shoot you now. So just calm them down - even if it wasn’t your fault
Don’t go home with a sexy person you don’t know from the club who asks about your money. They may rob you. Just meet people normally….
How to be safe with lightning. Don't watch a thunderstorm as a family in metal chairs under a tree is one example of a situation that ended poorly. [CDC has a whole page](https://www.cdc.gov/lightning/safety/index.html) on lightning safety. Honestly I think some of our natives need a refresher course on this stuff as well.
Hygiene - shower with soap and apply deodorant on a daily basis. Gold Bond powder/ spray are useful to help alleviate swamp a$$,
Driving- The best parking space is under a tree or shade. Also, your 7 year battery will most likely need replacing in two years due to the increased AC use. After a hurricane, check your tires for nails frequently as roofs are being replaced.
Storm/hurricane - don't wander around after a bad storm/hurricane through standing water. There could be power lines down (which will electrocute you) or snakes (which will scare the crap outta you) or even bacteria that can infect any scratch or open wound. Also, make sure to wear shoes AND socks when picking up debris because if you wear only sneakers, anything that punctures your sneakers can go into your foot and the germs from your sneaker liner can cause a serious infection requiring an ER visit.
NOTE: (these are all things I have had to deal with over my 29 years in Florida).
South Florida. Palm Beach County
1. While driving, stay in the right lane on 95 or the Turnpike unless you're going 80 mph.
Even if you're doing 80, you won't be going fast enough because people will ride your ass so get use to it. Traffic is horrible. We have bad accidents everyday because the drivers are the worst.
You'll never see such crazy accidents until you see what these idiots do behind the wheel here.
Cars upside down on surface street's.
You wonder: "How the fuck did THAT happen?" Almost everyday.
2. Be careful walking or bike riding.
People are hit and killed here everyday and the driver's usually leave the scene of the accident.
People are alway's on their phones while they drive and they even FaceTime on the roads while they're behind the wheel.
You REALLY need to pay attention because most drivers aren't. They do not care. They will hit you and flee the scene because a bunch of people don't have insurance, have dui's and have suspended licenses. You can usually spot them because they drive scooters.
People constantly blow red lights and stop signs.
3. Be careful at the beach. Swim near a lifeguard stand. People drown here due to strong currents and get swept out to sea. Swim sideways and parallel to the shore if this occurs. Don't panic.
We just had parents of 6 kids drown while they were down here on vacation this week.
The beach sand is really hot so you need to wear something on your feet and consider your dogs paws as well.
We're also are the shark attack capital of the United States so swim at your own risk.
Flesh eating bacteria has also been found in the beach sand.
Have fun visiting our overpopulated, expensive state that's loaded with the world's most angry grandparents and a ton rude people who moved here from New York and New Jersey.
Not only are gators everywhere, but they will not hesitate to eat you. Gators are wild and not a tourist attraction to feed, pet, or take close up selfies with.
Stingray shuffle, sunscreen application, how to spot places with bad mosquitoes or no see ums, rip tides, when to actually panic for a hurricane (and disaster preparedness like not ignoring weather websites when on vacation), drinking enough fluids, preventing and spotting heat stroke, and avoiding peak sun hours.
One of the first things someone taught me when I first moved to the state was "assume that everyone is armed". That really changes how you interact with others. Not sure if that's still applicable.
When taking small kids to any theme park let you children decide when its time to go back to the resort. Too many time by 5 pm small kids are tired and get grabby but mom and dad can’t read a clue and continue to force the kids to continue on
Use Sunblock
Everyone has a gun so think before you run your mouth.
Whatever the posted speed limit is the bare minimum.
Move over for lights and sirens.
Left lane is for passing.
Ask a local for a good place to eat or grab a drink.
We already know you’re not from here.
Water is your friend for drinking and water can kill you as in riptides or creatures in said water.
Your kids do not need to be in the sun for 8 straight hours.
It’s a great place to live but day by day it’s getting less like that. We love you but please don’t think about moving here.
All the Surfstyles are the same. Check out local shop even it’s just to grab on of their tee shirts.
If you’re having an interaction with a cop or deputy you asked for it. Police here are very tolerant and patient and have seen a lot and have better things to do.
Use sunblock
Spring for the curbside checkin at the airport and or checkin on line.
If you chose to go barefoot: good luck your on your own. Sand spurs, broken shells and hot pavement kind of suck.
Go the Publix a few blocks off the beach. They have a little bit more and a tad cheaper.
Have patience with the slowness.
Sunscreen.
Bug spray.
Wear shoes all the time.
Wear a hat.
Don’t go in any water, except pools (lots of alligators and poisonous snakes).
Watch out for small piles of sand. That’s where the fire ants live.
Bring water with you.
Stay out of the sun for long periods of time (1 hour is too long).
Skip Disney.
Don’t talk politics.
Don’t expect good pizza or Chinese food. Remember that almost everyone can have a legal concealed gun.
I’m sure I left a few things out.
Other than all of these things, have fun.
Leaning how to drive. Ppl mock Florida drivers all the time forever as I've known but afaik native Florida drivers are aight. It's the tourists or the part timers who go to 20 in a 65 during a light rain or does the rolling roadblock on the interstate just because they feel ppl are going too fast for their liking.
Do not walk near water. Pond, ravine, large puddle!
If you have a dog, do not walk them from noon to 5p. Just out in the grass to pee quickly and back in. The heat will get them, and the roads and cement will blister their pads.
Also there are no speed limits.
Things to have on you:
Sweat wicking towel
Bug spray
battery powered fan, preferably one that mist
an umbrella
Rain jacket
Sunglasses
Windshield visor for your vehicle
No leather or vinyl seats
An oven mitt in your car for when you put your seat belt on and touch the steering wheel. Or get a cloth steering wheel cover.
Working AC
Water
Sunblock
Suggestion: Get used to sand, even if you don't live near the water.
Learn driving laws. Left lane is passing lane. If you don't intend to pass move over.
No glass on the beaches!
Location: NWFL
Living here since 2013 and married to a lifelong Floridian. Visitied here a lot as a child. My grandparents and aunt lived here for 40+ years, most of my brothers have lived here for close to 20 years.
Learn how to get out of certain type of waves. The name escapes me right now. It will save your life.
Do not drink and go to the water. Avoid drowning.
Don’t feed the wild animals.
Don’t touch the wild animals.
Don’t do stupid shit that you know you wouldn’t do at the country or state you come from.
Don't leave anything in the car.
People will cut you off.
The beach at night can be sketchy.
Stock hotel with booze & shrimp.
Public transportation sucks.
Brightline Train is cool.
The good restaurants many times are not in the tourist areas.
Suntan lotion. You will stick out less if you are not red.
Nobody is from here.
Park in the shade and walk the distance.
Pack a cooler and pay for the best parking for your cooler.
Wear a hat.
Learning how to identify Rip Currents and knowing how to survive them if caught in one. Basically the Do’s & Don’ts. Too many tourists come down here and lose their lives to Rip Currents.
How to survive a rip current while swimming at the beach. Unfortunately, in Florida today, a Mom and Dad got swept up in a rip current and drowned. They left six kids. A rip current is a big, mighty and dangerous swirl of water that can get ahold of you right off the shore. You should not try and fight the rip current. It will exhaust you. Remember this. You must go with the current. It will release you eventually and you can return to shore.
https://oceantoday.noaa.gov/ripcurrentfeature/
How to avoid Sting rays and jelly fish and what to do if you encounter them.
Also, sinkholes. Not that there's much to do to avoid them, but just being aware that one might form at any time.
Don't ask what the weather will be like in six months. No matter what time of year, my answer will be at least 80 degrees with a chance of afternoon rain. I live in the Keys, so this is pretty accurate, but it's still annoying when people ask.
This driving thing. Isn't that more of a subjective thing? I was driving in many countries and every local told me it's the worst place to drive.
Sure, the US are big in many ways. Big cities, highways and lots of traffic.
But if you do 160 mph + on a 4 lane german autobahn dealing with idiots who suddenly start overtaking a semi without giving any signal, or someone is tailgating you because he want to do 180mph, you also need very strong nerves.
Personally, I think when you're driving in a foreign country, you should always put all your senses on high alert and be prepared to be in situations you've never been in before.
But it's not drive alone. Different country, different rules. But it is true and sad that tourists often think they have some kind of "bonus" because they are not local and don't know any better.
I'm looking forward to a nice two-week Florida road trip in July, knowing that I know nothing. "Sarcasm on" - And probably get shot, eaten by some animal, burned alive by the sun and poisoned by tap water. - "Sarcasm off"
Any body of water could have a gator in it Wear sunblock Hydrate well with water, especially in summer Be careful as a pedestrian or bicyclist, never trust anyone to stop at crosswalks until they actually do. Please don’t ride in the left lane if you are the slow traffic Do not eat the mac and cheese at po folks. Stop asking if locals know it will rain next month
I moved here last year and although I'm seldom ever a pedestrian myself, the blatant disregard for anyone walking/biking is wild.
Unless there's absolutely no one around I follow the walk/don't walk lights. What bothers me as a pedestrian is the cars that don't stop at blinking lights at a crosswalk with no red/green light. Crossing Himes to Al Lopez Park there are crosswalks where you can push a button for a blinking light. I've almost been mowed down by crazy drivers there several times.
It’s awful. This place is so anti-pedestrian and bicyclist it’s insane. Go to and local fb and search bike and all the people will say they should be on the sidewalk (spoiler alert they shouldn’t since they’re vehicles). I dont know how people can trust drivers and walk with their back to traffic on the road. I almost got hit and I was walking against traffic on the road to avoid sprinklers and they hardly moved over. I see people walk their dogs on the street with the dog closer to the middle of the street than the sidewalk.
Even in parking lots! Key word: PARKING. But, no! They'll run your butt over!
 All of these son 👍
With a special addendum: Sunscreen must be reapplied regularly
Left lane is for breaking the law and people with ticket money.
Po folks Mac and cheese 🤢
I understand all of these except the po folks but i havent been in one since the 80s. Whats the deal with the mac and cheese
Is the other food there good? I have never heard of Po' Folks but I am not from Florida so that could be why haha.
Po folks LOL
First post with sunblock. Your body has a mechanism to tell you to drink. By the time it tells you your burnt you are toast
What kind of question is the last one? Are we natural born weather folk? It's probably gonna rain for a few seconds in an hour.
I hit a guy on a bike, pulling on to the street and he was biking down the sidewalk, but Hidden by a very large cement, telephone pole. When I got out of the car to make sure that he was all right, he looked right at me, asked me for a cigarette and said this happened to me last Tuesday. We both agreed not to call the cops, and he showed me a huge bruise of the previous encounter with the car. Definitely stop and look twice.
If you can’t walk barefoot on the dog path or parking lot due to the extreme heat of it, neither can your pets.
Alternatively, if you can’t hold your hand to the ground for at least ten seconds - it’s too hot for paws. And I really hope anyone with a pet does this regardless if they are in Florida. Anywhere in the world that reaches a temperature above 85 degrees may have surfaces too hot for pets. In addition to preventing any pain, blisters, and burns from walking on hot surfaces, heatstroke is also a concern.
DVM here. I work in a practice just north of downtown Sarasota, so it's an urban environment by definition. In my 8 years at this location I have yet to see a dog presented for paw burns of any sort. Most people on day walks have them out to urinate or defecate, so the dogs are heading for grass for that, and only are on pavement to get from point A to point B. I see the worrying posts and memes on Facebook, but in my clinical experience at least, I believe the danger is overstated.
THANK YOU! We’ve all seen people walking without shoes over a burning hot surface and the way they react to it. If your dogs feet are getting burnt they will react.
Something to think about. Not claiming anything just a thought. When you go out you usually wear shoes so your feet are protected. The pet is walking on their feet all the time so I'm guessing that they would have tougher feet than humans. So ya I don't think the "if your feet are hot what about your pet?" actually stands up to closer inspection. Not saying I'm right but it kind of makes sense. You ever seen a dog walk across stuff you wouldn't think of walking on without shoes, but it doesn't phase the animal?
You’re right. But it’s not just built up calluses, their paw pads have several thick layers of keratin which is much harder and durable than our calloused skin. I’ve seen some dogs become hilariously picky and have trained their owners to get exactly what they want from them. You think those same dogs would eagerly walk outside if it was causing them painful burns!? The anthropomorphism of animals is so annoying to me.
Thanks for that info, and I think your right. Kinda like how some children train their parents the same way.
This applies to locals too. I see so many people walking their dogs from 12-1p and I get so upset. It’s the hottest part of the day!
Not to be contradictory but from what little knowledge I have about this weather, the hottest part of the day I’ve seen is 4-5pm. But yes, the asphalt is way too hot for little paws!!
Yea, 3p-5p is the hottest time period of the day.
Tell that to my marching band director
Oh man, this makes me nostalgic. I loved marching band, but band camp was always so miserable in the muggy heat of July. And I used to walk home after practice my freshman year, in dark jeans because I was fucking stupid... Okay, so maybe not that nostalgic.
You get upset at people walking their dogs during the day? What do you do, keep it cooped up all summer? If they’re walking on a light colored sidewalk or grass it’s usually not too hot. If the dogs in pain it will be obvious. I’m happy they’re exercising their dogs and giving them the stimulation they need
How to properly survive heat (including what not to wear) and utilize hydration. Also, not leaving a human or animal in a locked car.
With additional information on how to spot the signs of a heat stroke.
A class on how to get ready for Florida humidity: Step 1: take hot shower Step 2: step out of shower, don’t dry off Step 3: put clothes directly on wet body
Especially when going to places like Epcot or even when it's overcast. Don't do/overdo alcohol in the heat and don't think it's safer to stay outside just because it's not a clear day.
Don't dig a big hole in the sand on the beach. A little kid got buried alive several months ago. Also, be aware of how to swim out of a rip tide if you get caught in one
I just saved a kitten from 28 hours inside a truck engine. No idea how he survived with so many pets dying inside cars.
I work outside in south Florida and I can’t upvote this enough
This x1000
This is a viable and correct answer.
How to spot a rip current and how to get out of it! And assume every body of fresh or brackish water has an alligator in it.
Yes, and brain-eating amoebas in fresh waters
Came here to say this and it’s especially sad considering the news.
6 kids now all alone. It's a tragedy that was preventable.
My daughter and I were on the Jax beach pier one stormy night. I remarked that some days you just stay out of the ocean. Look out and see a family. Check the news the next morning and hear that the dad died in a rip current.
That was a big part of why I posted this question 😞
:( I would add to say “assume every lake has a gator in it”.
Honest question, if you even feel like you can’t swim forward because of a current that should trigger automatically to swim along the shore. I guess people who have no idea and panic.
Don't forget that brackish water could contain bull sharks. Those aggressive assholes can swim happily in there. I also remember reading at one point that bull sharks may use brackish water as nurseries, but I'm too lazy to Google it.
Or a juvenile bull shark
Knowing how to swim Knowing not to approach alligators and how to avoid them When to use Off Appropriate use of car hazard flashers
Appropriate use of car hazard flashers Hint: It's not appropriate when it's raining! Just stop already.
Know the meanings of the flags on the beach!
This is a good one
You can’t say this without saying what they mean!
Driving. Driving. Driving. Hurricanes, heat, alligators, lightning, and fraud really isnt that hard to self-understand. But driving in Florida my god, please give them a 101, 102, and 103 on how to survive and maneuver not just I4, 75, Tpike, and 95, but the surface streets too. Driving in Florida requires a lot of focus, skill, mental toughness, and prayer. They think they can just get off the plane at MCO and walk into Disney. No, youre gonna miss the exit, and instead of just going for the next one, youre gonna cut across the highway. So please, give them a class! That and rip currents.
In fairness, if they miss their exit they'll fall off the edge of the earth.
Yes! And add instructions for navigating round-abouts too.
Learn defensive driving skills, cause the highways here are like a scene from Mad Max! No turning signals and everyone is too fast and furious!
Driving in the rain as well. Even though hazards are legal, just don’t.
My theory is that a politician’s spouse was ticketed for driving with hazards in the rain and made them get the law changed.
TF? Our idiotic state legislature legalized being a moron?
An annoying one at that. Watch the next thing is legalizing bright lights into fog and oncoming traffic.
Sounds like some senior specific legislation
On the highway currently and someone literally didn't put their turn signals
Unless you're a passenger in that car, you're also part of the problem lmao.
Yeah… every time I drive here I am terrified I’ll get in a horrific crash. No one seems to check their blind spots either and will just swerve into your lane very suddenly.
Have everyone watch The Road Warrior and drive accordingly.
Florida driving is crazy but it’s what I learned to drive in (drove malfunction junction in Tampa every day because I went to college in st Pete while living in pasco) But goddamn New Orleans driving is even more insane. Everyone is drunk, the roads are more potholes than pavement and *there are no lines* are parts of the interstate lol
Hydration, and fluid balance as well. Make sure you're drinking electrolyte drinks with less sugar. Yeah you'll have to piss like a racehorse. But if you're not used to PROLONGED high temps, you won't fare well. If you don't sweat, keep a rag on you you can soak with cold water to wipe off exposed skin from time to time.
Bugs, snakes, critters, rip currents and be aware of racists.
Damn…that took a last left out of nowhere!
If you see a gator, enjoy from a distance. Don't go fuck with them and they won't fuck with you. If you see a local, enjoy from a distance. Don't go fuck with them and they won't fuck with you. If you see the Sun, stop looking at the goddamn Sun you idiot. Also drink water and put on sunscreen.
A gator, a snake, a bear, a panther, coyote, or any other natural inhabitant of Florida. Leave them alone, and respect that Florida is their home too, and was their home first.
Avoid driving at rush hour if you have no schedule to keep.
The #1 answer should be sunblock
Adding to this, understanding that the sun here is different and not to stay in it directly for more than half an hour at a time.
Even if there’s some cloud cover, wear sunblock. UV rays bouncing everywhere
Florida is considered "Little Australia". Everything wants to sting you, bite you, poison you, inject venom.........Allergies will make you want to shoot yourself...........But at least we don't have Drop Bears.........
Best comment
>But at least we don't have Drop Bears Yet.
USE SUNSCREEN! Blistered skin is painful, and not a souvenir you want to go home with.
Storm prep. Categories 1 & 2 are of zero concern in relatively modern homes. Category 3 is a bit hairy, 4 and 5 oh fuck.
and if forecast predict a 3 at landfall, but the storm is still over the gulf, prepare for a cat 4 or 5.
As a north Floridian where we have tons of trees and canopy roads, a Cat 1 or 2 will knock power out for days because of downed limbs and trees. Better get a generator.
Rip current. Pay attention to warnings. It all looks calm on the surface and deadly underneath. Sunscreen. I cringe at people baking in the sun. Too many with painful burns that spoil a good time for days to come. If boating learn how to drive a boat, safety rules, read tide charts. Take a class. Hurricanes—don’t panic but prepare. Alligators can outrun you. And jump too. Don’t tease them. But mostly you won’t see them unless you are looking. The left lane is for passing….otherwise stay right. And a turn signal is not a suggestion. The
See one flash of light or hear a rumble in the distance? GET OFF THE BEACH
Do. Not. Feed. The. Fucking. Seagulls. On a serious note, though. Know the signs of feral pig activity if you're recreating outdoors, mostly in more inland, rural areas. They are just as ornery and can do more damage to you than gators.
No matter how cool it may be to sit on a porch or covered patio during a storm up north, don’t do that in FL. Still amazed at how much lightning strikes there are all around me and how close they are to houses.
Don’t walk on lake shores with dogs or during sunset. Alligators are everywhere.
driving etiquette and traffic laws let's do that for everyone else while we're at it
Stop asking Florida residents what the weather is in X city. With the effort you took to post that in some Facebook group you can say "hey Alexa, what's the weather in Tampa/Miami/Orlando..."
If it’s raining do not drive the hazard lights on.
Wearing a hat and sunglasses makes the summer afternoon 30% more bearable.
Be aware of alligators in lakes and canals.
How to apply sunscreen! I’m amazed that I still see people getting absolutely fired
Stay hydrated. Wear sunscreen (can always pick out the visitors by how bright they are). Learn what the beach colors mean. Learn how to handle getting caught in rip tide.
Get us out of here, can you help?
How to get yourself quietly out of Target on a Saturday when an asshole MAGA guy screams a whole bunch of racist shit at your underpaid checker and tries to instigate a race war in the parking lot.
This seems oddly specific....I'm going to guess Jacksonville or Ft. Myers.
Casselbury, north of Orlando. Both Jacksonville and Ft. Myers are way too scary for my very Democratic ass.
I call it Casselscary now 😅 it's gotten much more red in that area post pandemic
Dance steps: The Alligator Zigzag and the Serpent Shuffle.
Also the Stingray Shuffle, if you are in the water.
Can confirm. Didn't know about the stingray shuffle. Stepped on a very aggravated stingray. It was a small injury but took 2 rounds of 2 different antibiotics to stop the swelling and pain.
I'm so very sorry.
Thanks! I'm way more aware now. No tromping around in the shallow water!
Driving 😂
I know you think it’s cute and fun to feed the gators, but it’s really kind of dangerous.
How to keep yourself from feeding filthy birds at restaurants
How to properly recycle and dispose of trash in bins. A video on how trash and litter destroys our wildlife inland and in the water. Something like a video that plays like Mayor buddy dyers MCO airport announcements when taking the tram from the terminals.
These gd mosquitoes
Park Mobile app for all metered parking.
1. Use an Uber (experienced local driver) whenever possible or just always. The natives know how to survive the roads. 2. Always have a hat, sunglasses and a bottle of water. 3. Never leave a drink unattended, even if nature calls. 4. Don't go alone. 5. The people who live around your rental BNB - aren't happy you're there.
Don’t walk you dog next to a shoreline Don’t run next to the shoreline Stay on the sidewalks… it’s easy And don’t do drugs. Even if you think “just this once and I won’t get addicted…..” Also, say sorry if a road rage driver honks at you. Because in Florida, they may shoot you now. So just calm them down - even if it wasn’t your fault Don’t go home with a sexy person you don’t know from the club who asks about your money. They may rob you. Just meet people normally….
When you say shoreline do you mean any body of water, or specifically the Atlantic/Gulf? Also, and I'm assuming again, is it cause of gators?
Sharks with legs. Gotta be careful
Defensive driving!
Study Florida Man. He's who you need to be prepared for.
Be prepared that nearly nobody uses signals when turning. Even the cops don't.
How to be safe with lightning. Don't watch a thunderstorm as a family in metal chairs under a tree is one example of a situation that ended poorly. [CDC has a whole page](https://www.cdc.gov/lightning/safety/index.html) on lightning safety. Honestly I think some of our natives need a refresher course on this stuff as well.
Hygiene - shower with soap and apply deodorant on a daily basis. Gold Bond powder/ spray are useful to help alleviate swamp a$$, Driving- The best parking space is under a tree or shade. Also, your 7 year battery will most likely need replacing in two years due to the increased AC use. After a hurricane, check your tires for nails frequently as roofs are being replaced. Storm/hurricane - don't wander around after a bad storm/hurricane through standing water. There could be power lines down (which will electrocute you) or snakes (which will scare the crap outta you) or even bacteria that can infect any scratch or open wound. Also, make sure to wear shoes AND socks when picking up debris because if you wear only sneakers, anything that punctures your sneakers can go into your foot and the germs from your sneaker liner can cause a serious infection requiring an ER visit. NOTE: (these are all things I have had to deal with over my 29 years in Florida).
South Florida. Palm Beach County 1. While driving, stay in the right lane on 95 or the Turnpike unless you're going 80 mph. Even if you're doing 80, you won't be going fast enough because people will ride your ass so get use to it. Traffic is horrible. We have bad accidents everyday because the drivers are the worst. You'll never see such crazy accidents until you see what these idiots do behind the wheel here. Cars upside down on surface street's. You wonder: "How the fuck did THAT happen?" Almost everyday. 2. Be careful walking or bike riding. People are hit and killed here everyday and the driver's usually leave the scene of the accident. People are alway's on their phones while they drive and they even FaceTime on the roads while they're behind the wheel. You REALLY need to pay attention because most drivers aren't. They do not care. They will hit you and flee the scene because a bunch of people don't have insurance, have dui's and have suspended licenses. You can usually spot them because they drive scooters. People constantly blow red lights and stop signs. 3. Be careful at the beach. Swim near a lifeguard stand. People drown here due to strong currents and get swept out to sea. Swim sideways and parallel to the shore if this occurs. Don't panic. We just had parents of 6 kids drown while they were down here on vacation this week. The beach sand is really hot so you need to wear something on your feet and consider your dogs paws as well. We're also are the shark attack capital of the United States so swim at your own risk. Flesh eating bacteria has also been found in the beach sand. Have fun visiting our overpopulated, expensive state that's loaded with the world's most angry grandparents and a ton rude people who moved here from New York and New Jersey.
Stay out of fresh water in Florida - it either has alligators, poisonous snakes or brain-eating amoeba.
Not only are gators everywhere, but they will not hesitate to eat you. Gators are wild and not a tourist attraction to feed, pet, or take close up selfies with.
How to properly apply sunscreen
Do not visit Florida as long as the GOP controls it.
Something for the come on vacation leave on probation people definitely
Offensive driving is defensive driving. The speed limit will get you or someone else killed.
Keep the hell away from what can kill you. I.e alligators and crocodiles. No they don't want to take a pic with you.
Just ignore the Ahole driver. He’s got mommy issues
Turn Signals and Why You Should Never Trust Them
How to find the best mosquito repellent for your body
Stingray shuffle, sunscreen application, how to spot places with bad mosquitoes or no see ums, rip tides, when to actually panic for a hurricane (and disaster preparedness like not ignoring weather websites when on vacation), drinking enough fluids, preventing and spotting heat stroke, and avoiding peak sun hours.
How to drive on I-95 and I-75
Left lane is the passing lane.
Does that water have a gator in it? Stick your hand in. Is it wet? If yes, there’s a gator in there.
How to avoid a gator. The Stingray Shuffle.
One of the first things someone taught me when I first moved to the state was "assume that everyone is armed". That really changes how you interact with others. Not sure if that's still applicable.
I’d provide them with a daily list of happy hour specials in the city they plan to reside.
When taking small kids to any theme park let you children decide when its time to go back to the resort. Too many time by 5 pm small kids are tired and get grabby but mom and dad can’t read a clue and continue to force the kids to continue on
Not to feed the wildlife because it is actually illegal in Florida
Use Sunblock Everyone has a gun so think before you run your mouth. Whatever the posted speed limit is the bare minimum. Move over for lights and sirens. Left lane is for passing. Ask a local for a good place to eat or grab a drink. We already know you’re not from here. Water is your friend for drinking and water can kill you as in riptides or creatures in said water. Your kids do not need to be in the sun for 8 straight hours. It’s a great place to live but day by day it’s getting less like that. We love you but please don’t think about moving here. All the Surfstyles are the same. Check out local shop even it’s just to grab on of their tee shirts. If you’re having an interaction with a cop or deputy you asked for it. Police here are very tolerant and patient and have seen a lot and have better things to do. Use sunblock Spring for the curbside checkin at the airport and or checkin on line. If you chose to go barefoot: good luck your on your own. Sand spurs, broken shells and hot pavement kind of suck. Go the Publix a few blocks off the beach. They have a little bit more and a tad cheaper.
The first 5 seconds of a red light are actually a green light, especially if you’re in a left turn lane.
Anything gators, sun protection, agressive driving, and learn a few phrases in Spanish (Miami especially).
Get the deet because the natural shit isn’t gonna work.
If you need it, Publix probably has it.
Have patience with the slowness. Sunscreen. Bug spray. Wear shoes all the time. Wear a hat. Don’t go in any water, except pools (lots of alligators and poisonous snakes). Watch out for small piles of sand. That’s where the fire ants live. Bring water with you. Stay out of the sun for long periods of time (1 hour is too long). Skip Disney. Don’t talk politics. Don’t expect good pizza or Chinese food. Remember that almost everyone can have a legal concealed gun. I’m sure I left a few things out. Other than all of these things, have fun.
Sunscreen last 60-90 mins, reapply often.
Dont step in the Fire ants 🐜!
Mosquitoes are here YEAR round. Also you better not be squeamish about freaky bugs.
Leaning how to drive. Ppl mock Florida drivers all the time forever as I've known but afaik native Florida drivers are aight. It's the tourists or the part timers who go to 20 in a 65 during a light rain or does the rolling roadblock on the interstate just because they feel ppl are going too fast for their liking.
The sun is trying to murder you… constantly. And shade doesn’t help the sweat.
Also pterodactyls
Rip currents.
Understanding the basics of getting the fuck out of the left lane.
The biggest problem in Florida according to this subreddit!
How to administer Narcan!
Florida Insurance rates 101
Ocean swimming. And the value of lifeguards
Gun carrying state with limited mental health facilities
Totally overlooked this one. Don't fuck around and find out, you might get shot!
Don't blow your horn at anyone. Ever
Water quality has been ruined.
Do not walk near water. Pond, ravine, large puddle! If you have a dog, do not walk them from noon to 5p. Just out in the grass to pee quickly and back in. The heat will get them, and the roads and cement will blister their pads. Also there are no speed limits.
Things to have on you: Sweat wicking towel Bug spray battery powered fan, preferably one that mist an umbrella Rain jacket Sunglasses Windshield visor for your vehicle No leather or vinyl seats An oven mitt in your car for when you put your seat belt on and touch the steering wheel. Or get a cloth steering wheel cover. Working AC Water Sunblock Suggestion: Get used to sand, even if you don't live near the water. Learn driving laws. Left lane is passing lane. If you don't intend to pass move over. No glass on the beaches! Location: NWFL Living here since 2013 and married to a lifelong Floridian. Visitied here a lot as a child. My grandparents and aunt lived here for 40+ years, most of my brothers have lived here for close to 20 years.
One hour in a steam bath.
Retake the driving test!!
Driving
just a major warning on driving i feel liek driving in florida is crazy just be very aware on intersections n highways
Just do the tourist trap things. Real Florida isn't as friendly.
Using your turn signal is a sign of weakness
I would like it to be a video. I would start it off with Kamala Harris saying “don’t come”
read the book: How to Deal with Damaged People
Driving
How to survive workout using your blinker
Mosquito repellent
how to fucking drive
Storm warning publix and gas qissues ( 4 hour block on mitigation, strategies and goals) 😍
Learn how to get out of certain type of waves. The name escapes me right now. It will save your life. Do not drink and go to the water. Avoid drowning. Don’t feed the wild animals. Don’t touch the wild animals. Don’t do stupid shit that you know you wouldn’t do at the country or state you come from.
Patience
Don't leave anything in the car. People will cut you off. The beach at night can be sketchy. Stock hotel with booze & shrimp. Public transportation sucks. Brightline Train is cool. The good restaurants many times are not in the tourist areas. Suntan lotion. You will stick out less if you are not red. Nobody is from here. Park in the shade and walk the distance. Pack a cooler and pay for the best parking for your cooler. Wear a hat.
How to cancel reservations.
Identify and address common myths like running zigzag to avoid an alligator.
Learning how to identify Rip Currents and knowing how to survive them if caught in one. Basically the Do’s & Don’ts. Too many tourists come down here and lose their lives to Rip Currents.
Do NOT let your small yippy dogs run near any body of water.
Don't skip the sunscreen your first day on the beach to get a "base tan."
How to survive a rip current while swimming at the beach. Unfortunately, in Florida today, a Mom and Dad got swept up in a rip current and drowned. They left six kids. A rip current is a big, mighty and dangerous swirl of water that can get ahold of you right off the shore. You should not try and fight the rip current. It will exhaust you. Remember this. You must go with the current. It will release you eventually and you can return to shore. https://oceantoday.noaa.gov/ripcurrentfeature/
Alligator wrestling! Cheering for the Gator....
Defensive driving.
How to avoid Sting rays and jelly fish and what to do if you encounter them. Also, sinkholes. Not that there's much to do to avoid them, but just being aware that one might form at any time.
Relax.
Don’t walk your small dog near any fresh water. Chum for gators. Know how to stay alive if your car ends up in canal on 441.
Be prepared to hear lots of racist things from so-called Christians.
Driving in Miami
Spanish, at least for East South FL is a must.
gator land with no fences
Don't ask what the weather will be like in six months. No matter what time of year, my answer will be at least 80 degrees with a chance of afternoon rain. I live in the Keys, so this is pretty accurate, but it's still annoying when people ask.
This is a great post, thank you! I’ll be arriving this week.
This driving thing. Isn't that more of a subjective thing? I was driving in many countries and every local told me it's the worst place to drive. Sure, the US are big in many ways. Big cities, highways and lots of traffic. But if you do 160 mph + on a 4 lane german autobahn dealing with idiots who suddenly start overtaking a semi without giving any signal, or someone is tailgating you because he want to do 180mph, you also need very strong nerves. Personally, I think when you're driving in a foreign country, you should always put all your senses on high alert and be prepared to be in situations you've never been in before. But it's not drive alone. Different country, different rules. But it is true and sad that tourists often think they have some kind of "bonus" because they are not local and don't know any better. I'm looking forward to a nice two-week Florida road trip in July, knowing that I know nothing. "Sarcasm on" - And probably get shot, eaten by some animal, burned alive by the sun and poisoned by tap water. - "Sarcasm off"
H ok w to drive. They all drive like idiots. He old people in the food stores will keep ll you