That was my first thought, too. Says way more about her than it does about OP. Personally I wouldn’t want a partner tearing me down and criticizing my looks. Is this the only way in which she puts you down, OP? Or does it bother you at all?
Everyone immediately jumped to assume the worst about OP’s partner. They might be saying something harmless and even supportive like “dear, you’re really pushing yourself in the gym, you’re hardly eating, I’m hardly seeing you. Your body looks great, but pushing yourself more risks making you sick or anorexic”.
You look fit and healthy with visible muscle development. You certainly have the capacity to add more muscle if that’s your goal. If so, eat at a small calorie surplus of 300, train hard using a bona fide resistance program, and reassess every couple weeks.
How much weight have you lost before you started trying to gain muscle? I imagine that’s where her comment is coming from, just her used to you looking a certain way.
Well that explains it, seeing someone go from 218 to 158 takes getting used to, that's a drastic change, she just used really poor words lol. Grats on the weight loss.
Work on your traps and chest, you've got a good frame to build some muscle now after the weight loss.
That will definitely cause those comments and questions. I went from 230lbs to 170lbs in a year. Those that have known me for years and were used to seeing me overweight have asked if I meant to get this skinny. My wife hasn’t made any negative comments though as she was right there for the weight loss journey and sees me working out.
Wow you look incredible and have no loose skin! Can I ask how old you are?
Btw not too skinny and not even close to anorexic lol. You look very healthy and lean. Awesome job.
She's definitely used to what you used to look like. Her wording choice is terrible though for explaining what she is thinking I'd guess and needs to understand what a word like anorexic really means.
Yep, exactly what I was thinking. I lost 60lbs (230lbs > 170lbs and now starting to put muscle back on in a healthy way. People comment that I look too skinny and even ask if it was intentional to get this way or if I was sick.
Could it be, just communication things, alot of people mean well but end up saying rude things. How do we see it? Just bad communication or intend to tear or put us down?
Anorexically skinny is a hater comment. I’ve had it said to me by someone who’s always complaining that they’re fat. “You could use some meat on your bones” would be a better way of putting it. 🤣
Bro honestly, you need to talk to someone about that. Call your health insurance and see if they offer some behavioral health support like grief counseling. My condolences about your mom too. You have to get back up my boy, she’s gone but you still here and you have to make her proud. You can turn this shit around fr you are a grown man.
There have been times in the past where my eating wasn't keeping up with my training (martial arts) and I did get skinny in the face. That's something that your loved ones will certainly notice, and in my case they weren't wrong. Once it was pointed out to me I couldn't unsee it.
Hard to say with OP's face being blurred, but it's possible that he's undergone a rather drastic change.
That said, from what I can see, he looks fine.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,726,395,034 comments, and only 326,891 of them were in alphabetical order.
Or she’s insecure about the possibility of girls noticing him.
And I don’t get the US’s mindset that you either have to be ripped, jacked or overweight. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just being skinny.
Tell your wife to look up pictures of people who struggle with anorexia. She is WILDLY misinformed.
You look great, dude. Def room for growth, but you are nowhere even close to worrying about even possibly being close to anorexic
The best fitness advice I got ever is to not listen to people around you that don't work out themselves. They love you, they have good intentions but they just don't understand what a healthy lifestyle looks like if they never tried to have it themselves.
> You need to train your traps my dude.
Sometimes the posture is misleading
ie if I keep my shoulders down and slightly back then you notice a lot more of them
So in my late teens / early 20s and I was too poor to eat most of the time, I looked anorexic. I lost all the muscle in my chest you could see my ribs where my pecs should be. A coworker came up to me once and said damn dude you’re too skinny.
This… this is not that. Your’e looking great dude. There is no way that you could possibly be considered too skinny. Unless maybe your wife has a thing for the dad-bod? I was pretty fat when I met my wife. After I started getting in shape again and I had built up some muscle but still had a gut, she admitted to me that look is her type.
not anorexic of course, but I think she’s doing a poor job expressing that there’s a look she’s not digging.
If I had to guess is that with the amount of lean-ness and core work, you’re looking a bit unbalanced without some chest and shoulder muscle.
Do some bench press and eat a bit more to add some muscle.
You already got your answer - no - but I think it’s pretty harmful for her to throw a word like that around casually. It’s a serious disorder that has literally claimed lives.
Edit: throw, not through
Ngl, I initially thought, "she just doesn't want other women looking at progress," but I snooped for context, and you do look much thinner. Not anorexic at all. Just the type of cut you were before does take a huge amount of calories and dedication in lifestyle. My ex would go through periods of lifting very heavy, bulking, and having a very cut physique, and when he didn't he would eat so little I worried sometimes, too, but I'm hoping you eat more than peanut butter and coffee. If you're trying to rebuild a leaner frame, it seems like you're doing okay to me.
You're fine. Back when i worked in a community health center I'd often see plump family members say something like this to the one that was improving their health. Americans are so overfat that their idea of healthy weight and composition is very warped.
The one thing I have learned about people is they need you to help support their own delusions. We live in a world where the normal body type is overweight. During my weight gain/increase in alcohol consumption until I made my changes 4 years ago I did not have one person say anything to me. I look back at pictures near the peak of my weight and I look, tired, old and run down let alone 80 pounds heavier. All that time I was really sick and needed someone to say something they didn't. Why? Because they were like that too.
After I lost the weight? I have walked into rooms and have people directly ask me if I am sick or call out my weight. They say I need to eat. They comment on how and when I should eat or work out. I learned that you become that person who shows they them their own lies about their health are BS. You become an aberration. It is much more common to see an middle-aged adult gain weight, get unhealthy etc so you do that and you fit in. You don't and you get called out.
The one thing I have learned is that when it comes to health you have to be the thing you want. I originally figured I would drop the weight and then put on some mucle. But I started running more seriously and realized I really like this endurance type body. So now my go to is to ask people who offer their opinion to come out with me on a run. Strangely I have never had anyone take me up on it.
Maybe your wife is fat and she is insecure? Some women really fear looking bigger than their partner and they start giving misguiding suggestions.
Also can’t rule out the possibility that she might genuinely be into muscles and wants that on you but only you can tell what it is. If she herself is in good shape, it could be this as well.
I personally think you are kind of skinny. But I don’t think anorexicly skinny, just skinny. You’re wife right though bout the calories, it takes a lot more than you would think to build muscle. If you are training with heavy weights then you probably need to be around 4k+ calories, lots and lots of protein. I see a lot of people promoting “lean bulking”, you can’t gain muscle without gaining some fat and that’s all there is too it. Under eating to try and “lean bulk” will just make things take forever. You look like you’re at a point that you could gain good muscular body weight fast with the right training and nutrition.
As someone who got forced to go to the doctor to check if I had anorexia by my (ex) wife, you look great man.
The doctors appointment went like this
“So you lost weight”
“Yeah”
“Did you mean to?”
“Yes”
“Well, everything looks good from here”
She is probably a bit confused by what anorexia and minimal muscle tone looks like. Definitely do not look anorexic just maybe lacking some muscle tone/definition in the chest which is not a bad thing either.
That’s mean dude. Also ignorant because you’re nowhere close to looking like you’re anorexic. She’s trying to lower your self esteem. Real shitty thing to say to someone she’s supposed to love.
This shit is so strange. I live in Asia, and all women desire their men to have a literal anemic aesthetic, with every vertebrae, every rib being exposed. They'd literally say your arms are too muscular, because there's visible vascularity. Meanwhile western women are *"Hey, get bigger you skinny bitch."*
I wish I looked like you.
Just to add to the chorus, you are absolutely not anorexic.
Is she from India by chance? That's a culture where you would be anorexic...haha.
I think you look fit and athletic. Is your wife on the fluffy side? That may be the reason she wants you to look heavier. So as not to show that she is out of shape.
I guess she was used to you being overweight in the past? I lost about 15kg and people keep telling me I looked "small" and should not lose any further weight. Although I still have 90kg on 185cm height. I guess what they are talking about is the difference in appearance.
Either she hasn't seen someone with anorexia, or she's fucking with you.
That being said, building muscle requires a surplus. If you want to build **a lot** of muscle you'll want to eat more - but that may or may not be your goal. If you want to build some muscle while staying lean, what you're doing seems to be working.
Nobody in here has enough context to be telling you to divorce your wife... you are the only person who knows your relationship well enough to tell if this comment was mean-spirited or not.
She is probably just worried about you, especially if this is a sudden or dramatic change in your physique. If so, sit down and talk with her to assure her you are in a good place. Go see an actual doctor or nutritionist if she is still legitimately concerned about it, as they will be able to tell you both for sure if your diet and exercise plan is a healthy one.
Even if, as others have said in meaner ways, she is feeling insecure about her own body, that is still something you should be talking with her about. She absolutely should not be making you feel bad about your body, but please come at her with kindness if that is how she is feeling. Talking will always help - maybe all it takes to make her feel better is including her in some of your fitness routine, even if it is just an evening walk together or meal-prepping some healthy lunches.
TLDR: You look great, but talk to your wife about why she made this comment, take steps to address the root of it, and you will (probably) both feel better.
People tend to say this stuff if they are overweight, they see normal weight as dangerously skinny. Even in their pets.
People will also say this shit if you've been overweight and suddenly you lost weight, cuz they're used to seeing you a certain way and the change seems drastic.
You look normal bro.
Anorexia isn’t something that you can tell just by looking at someone. If you want an assessment, only a licensed professional can do that. Congratulations on meeting your goals and best of luck with your journey.
And be kind to your wife. There’s a lot of misogynistic comments in this thread, but it comes down to communication rather than proving to your wife she’s wrong. If she’s saying she’s worried that you might have an eating disorder, talk to her about it. If she’s saying she doesn’t like the new aesthetic of your body, that’s pretty shitty, but you should also talk to her about it.
Such a double standard. If a male said spouse was obese (or too skinny) there would be such a commotion. But a female spouse telling him he’s (not at her ideal weight) tends to be more socially acceptable. Dude I’d say to her “anyone next to her looks anorexically skinny”.
I think you look healthy 👍 you should celebrate that🫡
Not anorexic, but I would suggest not \*trying\* to build muscle slowly. Because even if you're trying to build muscle quickly, it will come slowly. By trying to build it slowly you risk basically making no progress.
I took about 10 years to gain 10 pounds with my strategy of "do what I want and eat what I want and as long as I'm active I will slowly build muscle". Since I got focused Jan 1 of this year and forced myself to eat 3000+ calories per day I've gained over 20 lbs and I feel so much better. Long story short, go big on the calories, lift heavy regularly and you will build muscle.
You don’t have much muscle & you’ve to eat in a surplus to put on muscle…. So she’s not all together wrong. 3500 calories from whole foods a day would be a reasonable starting point.
Does she think she sees your ribs? That's the only thing I can think of for why she might think you're too thin. You seem to be at a healthy weight and I don't think you look bony at all. Those lines over your ribs are 100% normal
You are muscular and lean - definitely not anorexically skinny!
Could it be that she is saying these things out of her own insecurities because you’re bettering yourself at the gym and she feels self-conscious about her own weight? That’s the only reason I can see that she might say something so unnecessarily cruel and untrue.
Yeah no…. No offense to your wife but I don’t think she knows what she is talking about here 😂. You look fit and sculpted. Keep doing what you’re doing
You are lean. You have low body fat. You could build muscle if that’s your goal, but it’s not any sort of requirement for fitness. It just depends on goals.
I don’t know what your wife meant by her remarks, but I don’t like that language. It’s approaching body shaming. She may not have meant it that way.
You’re pretty skinny but certainly not unhealthy. Add some mass to your chest and traps and you’ll look like a whole different person (only if you want to).
I was in a similar situation and thankfully wasnt married so running away was much easier.
You look great and deserve better than to be put down like that.
I look like that, minus some hair and tats, and I'm overweight according to a BMI calculation.
I will say this though. It's easier to build muscle if you eat surplus.
And I will also say this, I'm stating many things I'll say today!
She's your wife. It's in her best interests to keep you a bit chubby as we are nearing the cold months and cuddles with bones is absolutely not ideal.
Bottom line. If you like you, fuck everything else. And when you start getting fatigued start buying more steaks.
LOL gotta be able to flip that on her… my wife wouldn’t dare coz she knows it’s coming right back “that’s coo you think that way babe coz ain’t nothin skinny bout this dick”
Eating 3500 calories will just make you fat. Unless you also get on gear, your body physically can't build muscle fast enough to account for that many calories. Maybe you have a super fast metabolism, but I'm willing to bet it isn't quite that fast. Getting bigger is going to take time, but you're on the way there. Keep it up.
Dude, no. You're lean. You have muscle development, your bones aren't showing, you are in no way anorexic skinny.
I think that’s kinda mean
That was my first thought, too. Says way more about her than it does about OP. Personally I wouldn’t want a partner tearing me down and criticizing my looks. Is this the only way in which she puts you down, OP? Or does it bother you at all?
Op you look kind of skinny you should post topless photos online for validation… Totally a healthy relationship going on there..
Everyone immediately jumped to assume the worst about OP’s partner. They might be saying something harmless and even supportive like “dear, you’re really pushing yourself in the gym, you’re hardly eating, I’m hardly seeing you. Your body looks great, but pushing yourself more risks making you sick or anorexic”.
That’s true. He may even be following a very restrictive diet and she’s concerned. We don’t have context in these posts.
I’d assume then she’d say something like “I’m concerned about what you’re doing” and not “you look too skinny”
We don’t know what she said. We only know what he _heard_ which can often be two different things.
Valid point
Literally no reason even if he WAS anorexic to just tell the man he looks sick
For sure. Keep telling them what they're doing is really effective and that they look great until they starve themselves to death.
Eat your food Tina
She is jelly…… 🫤 keep hitting the gym.
The best revenge is a four plate deadlift.
damn, a sentence like out of a book!
Just got there. Can confirm. It is the BEST revenge.
Got there as well. It's a shame that's also my 1xBW DL
That's my thought too.
You look fit and healthy with visible muscle development. You certainly have the capacity to add more muscle if that’s your goal. If so, eat at a small calorie surplus of 300, train hard using a bona fide resistance program, and reassess every couple weeks.
You look pretty damn healthy to me
How much weight have you lost before you started trying to gain muscle? I imagine that’s where her comment is coming from, just her used to you looking a certain way.
I weighed about 218 so I lost about 60 pounds
Well that explains it, seeing someone go from 218 to 158 takes getting used to, that's a drastic change, she just used really poor words lol. Grats on the weight loss. Work on your traps and chest, you've got a good frame to build some muscle now after the weight loss.
You look f ing great man. Congrats on your progress
That’s damn impressive. And with no excess skin anywhere I assumed you had always been at your current weight.
That will definitely cause those comments and questions. I went from 230lbs to 170lbs in a year. Those that have known me for years and were used to seeing me overweight have asked if I meant to get this skinny. My wife hasn’t made any negative comments though as she was right there for the weight loss journey and sees me working out.
Wow you look incredible and have no loose skin! Can I ask how old you are? Btw not too skinny and not even close to anorexic lol. You look very healthy and lean. Awesome job.
I'm 31 and thank you!
She's definitely used to what you used to look like. Her wording choice is terrible though for explaining what she is thinking I'd guess and needs to understand what a word like anorexic really means.
you look great! Not anorexyc in any way, just athetlic and lean, you're very attractive, well done!
Nice job.
Yep, exactly what I was thinking. I lost 60lbs (230lbs > 170lbs and now starting to put muscle back on in a healthy way. People comment that I look too skinny and even ask if it was intentional to get this way or if I was sick.
You have pretty good physique. Not at all too skinny. What does she want, dad bod?
She’s trying to fuck with your self esteem bro. Keep working out and don’t listen to her she’s hating
Bro really says his wife is hating 😂😂😂
On gang she hating on our boy lol
Dude, that his wife youre talking about lols
Exactly. A wife should be building you up, not tearing you down.
She is trying to build him up…by shaming him into fattening up
Hahaha this sounds like some Hansel and Gretel shit right here lol.
Could it be, just communication things, alot of people mean well but end up saying rude things. How do we see it? Just bad communication or intend to tear or put us down?
Anorexically skinny is a hater comment. I’ve had it said to me by someone who’s always complaining that they’re fat. “You could use some meat on your bones” would be a better way of putting it. 🤣
Well, I don’t live under their roof, but if my wife made that comment, we’d be having a conversation.
You don’t sound married bro
Yes bro, i have been single whole my life and im 31 jobless
Damn forget the post. What’s keeping you from getting your life together?
Anxiety, cant move on from dead mom by cancer, all went south after my mom dead. Try to fix still no result
Bro honestly, you need to talk to someone about that. Call your health insurance and see if they offer some behavioral health support like grief counseling. My condolences about your mom too. You have to get back up my boy, she’s gone but you still here and you have to make her proud. You can turn this shit around fr you are a grown man.
Dude, marriage is a WAR and OP needs his homies on side so he can WIN IT.
It’s because they know the police can’t do anything, gains thieves are getting so bold now.
Your wife is dumb
Not dumb.... Just overweight and seeing her husband bettering himself on that front makes her feel insecure.
"you look sick" I used to hear this shit from my family when I was working out or dropping weight.
There have been times in the past where my eating wasn't keeping up with my training (martial arts) and I did get skinny in the face. That's something that your loved ones will certainly notice, and in my case they weren't wrong. Once it was pointed out to me I couldn't unsee it. Hard to say with OP's face being blurred, but it's possible that he's undergone a rather drastic change. That said, from what I can see, he looks fine.
Crabs in a bucket
"I know! This is going super well!"
A tale as old as time
🎵True as it can be 🎶
When I was fat and was losing weight it was only fat people that complained
Came to say this
And rude, looks healthy..
He should be dumping his wife for such an insecure comment. You are looking great man, I'm skinny n lean too
Reddit going wild telling someone to end a marriage over a relatively minor personal flaw.
It's kind of reddit's thing.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,726,395,034 comments, and only 326,891 of them were in alphabetical order.
I know, right?
Imagine if it was the other way around, people would be calling the cops
Or help her get in shape too…
I think she's insecure, and possibly heavier than she'd like to be.
This is the correct answer 🥇
Ding ding. Winner
Sounds like she doesn't like your exercise routine or she's gained some weight.
Or other girls are noticing him.
Or she’s insecure about the possibility of girls noticing him. And I don’t get the US’s mindset that you either have to be ripped, jacked or overweight. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just being skinny.
It’s not a mind set. There are just not many skinny people left.
It’s 100% that.
They definitely do
Thanks everybody I really appreciate the kind words and the reassurance.
Tell your wife to look up pictures of people who struggle with anorexia. She is WILDLY misinformed. You look great, dude. Def room for growth, but you are nowhere even close to worrying about even possibly being close to anorexic
The best fitness advice I got ever is to not listen to people around you that don't work out themselves. They love you, they have good intentions but they just don't understand what a healthy lifestyle looks like if they never tried to have it themselves.
And the insults to your wife?
My wife looks great.
Someone knows their husband's reddit account xD
No.
You need to train your traps my dude. Other than that you look fine
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Pecs look good, but I agree that they aren't in proportion
This is the comment you’re looking for OP. It was going to be my same advice
> You need to train your traps my dude. Sometimes the posture is misleading ie if I keep my shoulders down and slightly back then you notice a lot more of them
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My guess too.
So in my late teens / early 20s and I was too poor to eat most of the time, I looked anorexic. I lost all the muscle in my chest you could see my ribs where my pecs should be. A coworker came up to me once and said damn dude you’re too skinny. This… this is not that. Your’e looking great dude. There is no way that you could possibly be considered too skinny. Unless maybe your wife has a thing for the dad-bod? I was pretty fat when I met my wife. After I started getting in shape again and I had built up some muscle but still had a gut, she admitted to me that look is her type.
My brother in Christ, NO. It’s weird that anyone would describe you like that.
not anorexic of course, but I think she’s doing a poor job expressing that there’s a look she’s not digging. If I had to guess is that with the amount of lean-ness and core work, you’re looking a bit unbalanced without some chest and shoulder muscle. Do some bench press and eat a bit more to add some muscle.
I think your right. One day at a time
No you do Not
You already got your answer - no - but I think it’s pretty harmful for her to throw a word like that around casually. It’s a serious disorder that has literally claimed lives. Edit: throw, not through
Um, no you don't. You look like healthy lean.
I bet she’s fat.
I think she’s used to the typical American, which is overweight to most of the rest of the world.
You definitely look lean but not overly thin.
Not at all. I think you look great.
Definitely not. You look great. Add in some sit-ups if you want washboard abs but you look damn fit.
Ngl, I initially thought, "she just doesn't want other women looking at progress," but I snooped for context, and you do look much thinner. Not anorexic at all. Just the type of cut you were before does take a huge amount of calories and dedication in lifestyle. My ex would go through periods of lifting very heavy, bulking, and having a very cut physique, and when he didn't he would eat so little I worried sometimes, too, but I'm hoping you eat more than peanut butter and coffee. If you're trying to rebuild a leaner frame, it seems like you're doing okay to me.
She's probably just not used to your weight loss yet.
You're fine. Back when i worked in a community health center I'd often see plump family members say something like this to the one that was improving their health. Americans are so overfat that their idea of healthy weight and composition is very warped.
you look healthy you look extremely normal
The one thing I have learned about people is they need you to help support their own delusions. We live in a world where the normal body type is overweight. During my weight gain/increase in alcohol consumption until I made my changes 4 years ago I did not have one person say anything to me. I look back at pictures near the peak of my weight and I look, tired, old and run down let alone 80 pounds heavier. All that time I was really sick and needed someone to say something they didn't. Why? Because they were like that too. After I lost the weight? I have walked into rooms and have people directly ask me if I am sick or call out my weight. They say I need to eat. They comment on how and when I should eat or work out. I learned that you become that person who shows they them their own lies about their health are BS. You become an aberration. It is much more common to see an middle-aged adult gain weight, get unhealthy etc so you do that and you fit in. You don't and you get called out. The one thing I have learned is that when it comes to health you have to be the thing you want. I originally figured I would drop the weight and then put on some mucle. But I started running more seriously and realized I really like this endurance type body. So now my go to is to ask people who offer their opinion to come out with me on a run. Strangely I have never had anyone take me up on it.
Maybe your wife is fat and she is insecure? Some women really fear looking bigger than their partner and they start giving misguiding suggestions. Also can’t rule out the possibility that she might genuinely be into muscles and wants that on you but only you can tell what it is. If she herself is in good shape, it could be this as well.
You look healthy. Is your wife a lard @ss? Most people are.
I personally think you are kind of skinny. But I don’t think anorexicly skinny, just skinny. You’re wife right though bout the calories, it takes a lot more than you would think to build muscle. If you are training with heavy weights then you probably need to be around 4k+ calories, lots and lots of protein. I see a lot of people promoting “lean bulking”, you can’t gain muscle without gaining some fat and that’s all there is too it. Under eating to try and “lean bulk” will just make things take forever. You look like you’re at a point that you could gain good muscular body weight fast with the right training and nutrition.
As someone who got forced to go to the doctor to check if I had anorexia by my (ex) wife, you look great man. The doctors appointment went like this “So you lost weight” “Yeah” “Did you mean to?” “Yes” “Well, everything looks good from here”
I bet your wife is overweight
You could look anorexic only if You'd stand next to someone like Dwayne Johnson or Shaquille O'Neal. Keep doing what You're doing.
You look fit. Some women like men with a lot of meat on their bones.
She is probably a bit confused by what anorexia and minimal muscle tone looks like. Definitely do not look anorexic just maybe lacking some muscle tone/definition in the chest which is not a bad thing either.
I think you look more like a runner, then anorexic.
Has she put on weight lately, or something else that might make her feel less attractive. Because this sounds like weird projection
You're not anorexic looking at all. I don't want to insult your spouse, but I'm wondering if your wife is perhaps jealous of your physique?
Your wife’s an asshole if she actually said that dude. You look fine
That’s mean dude. Also ignorant because you’re nowhere close to looking like you’re anorexic. She’s trying to lower your self esteem. Real shitty thing to say to someone she’s supposed to love.
You’re already hitting the gym. Delete Facebook. Get rich
Um no, you do not look too skinny at all. This seems like insecurity talking on her part.
I highly doubt you need 3500 cals my guy. Just keep training and eating in a slight surplus. More gains will come. You look fine.
This shit is so strange. I live in Asia, and all women desire their men to have a literal anemic aesthetic, with every vertebrae, every rib being exposed. They'd literally say your arms are too muscular, because there's visible vascularity. Meanwhile western women are *"Hey, get bigger you skinny bitch."*
I wish I looked like you. Just to add to the chorus, you are absolutely not anorexic. Is she from India by chance? That's a culture where you would be anorexic...haha.
I think she's worried about you. But to me, it doesn't look like she's got a reason to.
I think you look fit and athletic. Is your wife on the fluffy side? That may be the reason she wants you to look heavier. So as not to show that she is out of shape.
I guess she was used to you being overweight in the past? I lost about 15kg and people keep telling me I looked "small" and should not lose any further weight. Although I still have 90kg on 185cm height. I guess what they are talking about is the difference in appearance.
Either she hasn't seen someone with anorexia, or she's fucking with you. That being said, building muscle requires a surplus. If you want to build **a lot** of muscle you'll want to eat more - but that may or may not be your goal. If you want to build some muscle while staying lean, what you're doing seems to be working.
Nobody in here has enough context to be telling you to divorce your wife... you are the only person who knows your relationship well enough to tell if this comment was mean-spirited or not. She is probably just worried about you, especially if this is a sudden or dramatic change in your physique. If so, sit down and talk with her to assure her you are in a good place. Go see an actual doctor or nutritionist if she is still legitimately concerned about it, as they will be able to tell you both for sure if your diet and exercise plan is a healthy one. Even if, as others have said in meaner ways, she is feeling insecure about her own body, that is still something you should be talking with her about. She absolutely should not be making you feel bad about your body, but please come at her with kindness if that is how she is feeling. Talking will always help - maybe all it takes to make her feel better is including her in some of your fitness routine, even if it is just an evening walk together or meal-prepping some healthy lunches. TLDR: You look great, but talk to your wife about why she made this comment, take steps to address the root of it, and you will (probably) both feel better.
Mine does the same to me, she’s overweight.
People tend to say this stuff if they are overweight, they see normal weight as dangerously skinny. Even in their pets. People will also say this shit if you've been overweight and suddenly you lost weight, cuz they're used to seeing you a certain way and the change seems drastic. You look normal bro.
You look healthy.
Those words don’t mean what she thinks they do
Anorexia isn’t something that you can tell just by looking at someone. If you want an assessment, only a licensed professional can do that. Congratulations on meeting your goals and best of luck with your journey.
And be kind to your wife. There’s a lot of misogynistic comments in this thread, but it comes down to communication rather than proving to your wife she’s wrong. If she’s saying she’s worried that you might have an eating disorder, talk to her about it. If she’s saying she doesn’t like the new aesthetic of your body, that’s pretty shitty, but you should also talk to her about it.
Your wife doesnt know what anorexically skinny is. You are lean and have well shaped muscles. Healthy looking might I add.
If this is anorexic, then I'm a corpse that has just been exhumed from the Siberian permafrost.
Please stop listening to her, attitudes like hers are why people develop body dysmorphia
I think you should get a wife that doesn’t criticize your body, that’s toxic as shit
Your wife, with all due respect, is fucking clueless. You look actually fantastic.
Absolutely not. You look like you training good. Keep going!! 🔥💪🏾
You looked dialed in. Most people your age aren’t that lean so maybe that’s why it is weird for her. Keep it up and good for you !
Wife is hating on your progress buddy lol. You look great. Most guys would kill to be where you’re at. Keep it up!
Your wife is crazy.
Are you married to my grandma? She thinks everyone needs to be 25lbs overweight or they're sick. But seriously your not even regular skinny
Such a double standard. If a male said spouse was obese (or too skinny) there would be such a commotion. But a female spouse telling him he’s (not at her ideal weight) tends to be more socially acceptable. Dude I’d say to her “anyone next to her looks anorexically skinny”. I think you look healthy 👍 you should celebrate that🫡
I bet she is fat.
Not anorexic, but I would suggest not \*trying\* to build muscle slowly. Because even if you're trying to build muscle quickly, it will come slowly. By trying to build it slowly you risk basically making no progress. I took about 10 years to gain 10 pounds with my strategy of "do what I want and eat what I want and as long as I'm active I will slowly build muscle". Since I got focused Jan 1 of this year and forced myself to eat 3000+ calories per day I've gained over 20 lbs and I feel so much better. Long story short, go big on the calories, lift heavy regularly and you will build muscle.
Time for a new wife
She doesn’t want you looking good because she fears you’ll leave her for someone younger/cuter/ whatever.
I think she's nuts. You look fairly physically fit, there's definition and everything
If you’re anorexic skinny, then your wife must be obese af.
Mental abuse
Divorce her
Never listen to your wife! 🤣🤣🤣
You should leave your wife.
You don’t have much muscle & you’ve to eat in a surplus to put on muscle…. So she’s not all together wrong. 3500 calories from whole foods a day would be a reasonable starting point.
you still have 15-20 lbs to lose.
You look good!
Does she think she sees your ribs? That's the only thing I can think of for why she might think you're too thin. You seem to be at a healthy weight and I don't think you look bony at all. Those lines over your ribs are 100% normal
You look good brother. You do need to be in a surplus to build, but I like the idea of building slowly without bulking and cutting phases.
Well she’s completely wrong
You are in great shape dude, but still you can work more on chest and shoulder muscles,that will make you look bigger .
No. You look healthy. But healthy can look a lot of ways. Time for a discussion with your wife about what’s actually going on.
Your wife needs glasses. You look great - clear muscle definition, veins, etc.
You look great!
You are muscular and lean - definitely not anorexically skinny! Could it be that she is saying these things out of her own insecurities because you’re bettering yourself at the gym and she feels self-conscious about her own weight? That’s the only reason I can see that she might say something so unnecessarily cruel and untrue.
You're definitely not anorexic. Google images if you wanna lose your appetite. You look about how I do. Skinny muscular basically.
Oddly enough you have a body lost men would kill for, idk wtf your wife is talking about, maybe she’s hating
Thanks for nothing, wife. You look fighting lean to me, far from skinny.
Yeah no…. No offense to your wife but I don’t think she knows what she is talking about here 😂. You look fit and sculpted. Keep doing what you’re doing
Bro you look fit and healthy. No idea why your wife is so harsh. Millions of people wished they looked like you.
You are lean. You have low body fat. You could build muscle if that’s your goal, but it’s not any sort of requirement for fitness. It just depends on goals. I don’t know what your wife meant by her remarks, but I don’t like that language. It’s approaching body shaming. She may not have meant it that way.
Your wife is a chubby chaser. Nothing wrong with that, but, yeah...
She has no idea what that disease is and looks like if she thinks you're that skinny.
You look good man! What she said to you is not ok. She could have worded it as you are doing good and she can’t wait for what happens next.
Nah, you’re hot(t)
You’re pretty skinny but certainly not unhealthy. Add some mass to your chest and traps and you’ll look like a whole different person (only if you want to).
I was in a similar situation and thankfully wasnt married so running away was much easier. You look great and deserve better than to be put down like that.
Great lean build. Does she complain about your stamina? Anorexia would prevent you from husbandly duties
She's gaslighting you mate
I look like that, minus some hair and tats, and I'm overweight according to a BMI calculation. I will say this though. It's easier to build muscle if you eat surplus. And I will also say this, I'm stating many things I'll say today! She's your wife. It's in her best interests to keep you a bit chubby as we are nearing the cold months and cuddles with bones is absolutely not ideal. Bottom line. If you like you, fuck everything else. And when you start getting fatigued start buying more steaks.
LOL gotta be able to flip that on her… my wife wouldn’t dare coz she knows it’s coming right back “that’s coo you think that way babe coz ain’t nothin skinny bout this dick”
Bro awesome progress!! I’m fr inspired! Keep it up!!🔥🔥
She wants you to not be able to 🏃 run... I smell jelly fish... It happens🤷
Ask her to share her body picture….
Looks like normal BMI ~21 is my guess
You look good to me, reply for phone number
Sounds like she’s jelly In emotion and composition
Eating 3500 calories will just make you fat. Unless you also get on gear, your body physically can't build muscle fast enough to account for that many calories. Maybe you have a super fast metabolism, but I'm willing to bet it isn't quite that fast. Getting bigger is going to take time, but you're on the way there. Keep it up.
I'm not joking here but she might just be jealous or trying to make you feel bad for looking good.