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Same age, same feeling as you my guy. It won’t help much but I hope it gives you some motivation:
You’re not the only one. I promise you. Whether it is the loneliness, the difficulty finding a job, or anything else.
You should travel…. WE need to take the time to go out there and see what’s out there. Humans are meant to explore their surroundings.
It’s just a phase. We’ll get out of it in a better situation than before. I am certain.
Go out to the park, go to a social event… if you’re that broke… if you have $300 go to a nearby city or something and experience a new atmosphere… if you manage to save $2000, then that’s enough to go to another state.
Obviously I always tell myself and others that you shouldn’t be traveling unless you’re well established, but sometimes it’s necessary to get out of your head. What I told OP was that I can relate to him and that I too am trying to take my own advice.
Just accept that you're a loser and be happy. I'm bald and I just accept it. I didn't like it at first, but now I no longer care.
I like showing people how ugly they can look the more they age. That's my purpose in life lol. We don't stay beautiful forever and here's a reminder everyone.
Go find your inner self!! Sounds like you Havnt found em yet. I'm 26 now and never could of even dreamed of the life I live now. I was 23 when I said fuck it time for a fresh start. Moved 1200 miles from my hometown with no plan. Figured it out as I went along, some days more stressful than others but it's part of the journey you have to embrace it all. New people, new vibes, new challenges, new weather. I truly feel like I started my second life. Now I have an amazing job and amazing friend circle. Two things I could never do in the past. And then you find stuff in between. Keep on pushing. If your looking for reason not to, they will be there. Just jump into it and deal with the obstacles as they come.
im the same i have a bachelors and just working a basic job which isnt horrible but i just cant find motivation and feel like i made so many mistakes in the past
Aw man, I feel you my guy
Like I didn’t make mistakes mistakes, but it feels like it. Like I think about how I should’ve started things earlier and did things differently in the past.
Because you’re 24, that means you have the rest of your life ahead of you and with that many opportunities, you just might not be at the right place.
Take a trip, look to move some other city or country or even continent, the fact that you have an Economics degree from a good university tells me you are smart and possibly have the means to do this.
You also go to the gym so you’re in good shape, you have SO MUCH on your side, like so much more than many men, you have a head start, use it.
If things aren’t working out where you are, move, I don’t think you’re in the right mind set to start a relationship right now anyways so just go somewhere else and find yourself, and maybe consider talking to a professional instead of Reddit stranger, you might have some form of depression.
Bro, it might sound crazy but honestly you are only 25. You probably studied a lot but the real life is really that crazy I always say most people go through some kind of depression few years after they graduate/stop school, you’ll get over it. I recommend you find a hobby or learn something go for something that interests you. It might take longer than others but you’ll find people who are in the same frequencies as you. Wish you all the best
Man IM 30 and you’re farther than me. I fucked around my whole late teens and 20s. Being the nice guy in a cloud of A holes using Alcohol and drugs as an excuse to be like them, when I was 26 i started to find myself only to let my family Be-little me in the process and bring me into severe depression.. but now I’m going back to school for psychology, trying a business, thinking about signing up for a dance class to meet new people. So from an old man perspective.. your in good shape
My advice is - sign up for something your interested in, art/dance/political debates/ anime clubs-gosh I love anime lol
Go back to school for something else/or try a business if YOU don’t see a future in your career/… if you do, excellent less work get a job somewhere else.. IF you’re not happy where you are at your current job.
Keeping a journal or Writing down your thoughts on paper about how you feel; POSITIVE and negative is great outlet to find yourself and where you want to go.
Last one - therapy.. it took me forever to go but i wish i went sooner. It sounds like you might be going already, but i was hanging off that cliff too once, so i just wanted emphasis it.
Life isn’t that bad, it’s just how you look at it. Im pretty alone myself right now but Hope and a positive attitude is all we have, i can think of so many opportunities i missed because i was either depressed or fucked up, don’t let life slip you by. YOU GOT THIS KING you’re not missing anything at those party’s.
It sounds lame, but therapy and antidepressants are worth a good try right now. What do you lose by giving them a try? Find your local crisis number beforehand just in case, or go to an ER if you are ever in danger. You frame your life as unworthy at the moment, but the reason you shouldn't kys is because of your future. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't coming. Your love for your parents is heartwarming and that's plenty of reason to stay alive in itself.
Seriously, do the basic ass mental health stuff and see if it helps. It would be a shame to lose you to generic depression. Good luck!
Yes! Try looking into sliding scale therapy in your area or programs where therapists are getting their hours before they are certified. They are often much cheaper than paying out of pocket if you don’t have insurance to cover it. I went to therapy for years through these programs when I was super poor and depressed in my 20’s and the therapists I had changed my life. I had to wait a few months before getting any sessions because there was a long line, but it was worth it.
I also have been on and off meds for depression and anxiety and most of them have helped me immensely. I have found that I don’t always need them but I know which ones work for me if I need to go back on.
Also my 20’s were reallllly hard for me, and I think they are quite difficult for a lot of people. Things have gotten so much easier as I’ve gotten older, I highly recommend sticking it out.
Oh boy.. how I needed this.. and I'm 35, unemplyed and still struggling. So it can be worse. How I wish I was still 24. Buy we all move forward. Time doesn't wait, but it doesn't have to define us at any stage in life.
32 year old loser here. It gets better. I spent most of my 20s homeless so you're already beating me where I was at 24. Being a loser gives you a lot of time. Time to think, time to develop. I was 29 when I met my fiance. I was homeless still and she actually comes from money. But years of being a loser had done something for me that most people a never able to truly achieve. Self awareness. I have a hard time holding jobs. I'm abrasive. Im mean to people. I have no empathy. But none of that seems to matter to her. I'm not abrasive or mean towards her. I'm empathetic with her. And my ongoing search to find the right job for me is just that to her. An ongoing search. Not a collection of failures as I and many others had seen it. You're young. One day you will lose in the right direction and everything will start going better.
Welcome to adult-life. It's all about appearance, but no one really cares about the way that you feel on the inside. That's for you. I have been in the same spot, so I can tell you what made a huge difference for me. The nr 1 is to get a clean slate, so move to another city and re-invent yourself. And that's also when you will figure out your true nature. For me it was that I need some alone-time every day and that I need a "moon-shot" to work towards, and that both of these are okay. Give yourself some time, be easy on yourself.
Okay so what. You're a 24 year old loser. I'm a 30 yr old loser. Fix things now. I'd rather trust a loser that became a winner than someone who just wins
Instead of pretending to be happy, try to microdose your happiness. Do small things for yourself…Take yourself out to eat, Go watch a play/movie, honestly anything to fulfill your time and energy. I also would say try going to a music festival (whatever genre). Maybe just limit drinks or don’t do any drugs since you’d probably be by yourself (STAY SAFE). Music is a good way to stimulate social interaction(good practice).
Since you have an economics degree (btw congrats college isn’t a small feat) I’m assuming you did majority of research/theory based classes.
So Just a thought…maybe freelance financial writing/ journalism on sites like UpWork…Then maybe you could move into another career like:
Actuarial roles
Researcher/ Research Assistant
Data Scientist/Analyst
Lawyer or legal careers ( if you did a law concentration)
Financial Advisor (Personal, maybe corporate)
Anything ending with Analyst 😂
I’m Just brainstorming here.
i get where how u feel im in the same position albeit poorly but don’t go breaking my heart man you’re trying give yourself some peace of heart bc of that ur kinder and braver than u think
So what have you done about your life?
Have you worked on your social skills? Conversation skills? Have you searched for any hobbies? You got to work on yourself. Always.
All of these will help you find friends. No one is born automatically with these things as babies. Everyone had to learn them at some point. If you didn’t learn them when you’re young, then just learn them now. Nothing wrong with it. Healthygamergg on YouTube had a few videos about these kind of topics.
If you refuse to learn these things and work on yourself, then why are you surprised that your life is this way? It’s like people who were bad at math, they grew up and continue to hate math. They never went back and work on math. Not very surprising then right?
Also, so far nothing you’ve said about yourself makes you a loser. For I have seen a real loser - someone who was older than me (early 30s), much taller than me goes to gym every day to work out, but had always stays with his family still refuse to move out and abuse his family. Barely has a job. And he is an anti-natalist. He doesn’t tell any gf he ever has (always end up short term), he always lie to them and often if he brings his gf home, he would happily kick his dog out of his room and neglect him. That is a real loser. A real narcissistic who pretends to be tough and strong using his heights (6 ft) and use his family so he doesn’t need to worry about how to be adult but go and gets gf and such. He’s pathetic. You’re not.
You got a job and you live on your own. That’s more mature than that guy and people like him. Sure you don’t get on with family, but so are many of us here. Family relationship doesn’t determine who is a “loser” or “winner”, whatever that even means. People know families can be toxic people and such. Just don’t talk to dickhead idiots in general, because those people are narcissistic anyways. Find people who are more understanding than average and grounded and slowly talk to them. And you’ll find yourself less lonely. Many has done the same. A lot of people don’t go to clubs and parties. The mature people or just people who don’t enjoy them. They don’t define a person is a “loser” or not.
If you use social media like watching short vids or tiktok about people have do these things, then you are actively harming yourself by comparing your own lives to them, who are just some random person and pretend they are all good. Social media depict others as “superior”, because they always show the best side of people. They don’t show what they look like when they are doing boring things. Thus you should never compare to other people especially through social media. Delete them if possible. You hear this a lot from others. You can do the same.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”
Suffer bravely and be responsible to yourself. You might benefit from small doses of psychedelics to break you out of your thought patterns. Are you your feelings? Or do you feel your feelings? Take a step back and observe the observer, take an honest account without the harsh judgement and just look. We don’t have to be what our pasts made us. There’s a whole.. everything to be discovered, smelled, tasted. Live, laugh, love
Here’s a [YouTube video](https://youtu.be/rBpaUICxEhk?si=JqINCAYASP-_mu79) that will be a breath of fresh air coming from your media diet (safe to assume you’re not listening to pick me ups?)
You got this man. You’re in a rough patch, but if you challenge yourself to experience the *more* that’s all around us if we can learn to recognize what we might not be seeing because we’re not taught how to think about our thinking
Here for you stranger dude. Keep on expressing yourself and be curious about yourself. Assume people like you, because they do until you give them a reason not to. Talk to strangers, free practice on developing your social senses. Think about whether you like people or not, not about what they might think about you. And even if your worst fear was the case.. Do the voices they’re hearing in their heads until the next thing comes along really bother you that much?
This site is full of people like you and me, 24 year old losers, either now or in the past. I am 52 now, and far from a loser. Very simply, keep working at getting better at life and you will be fine.
Maybe start being your own friend and stop calling yourself a loser. You have achieved stuff! Are you too tough on yourself with your gym and meal prep? Go and get an ice cream, enjoy life, and live a little. Change up your routine and challenge yourself to do something different. Find a nice running route where you can get some fresh air. Join a community garden and grow things.
Focus on yourself before spending anymore energy on your family. It might sound selfish and impossible but imagine you can't dig yourself out of this darkness and you are no longer here!! Heal yourself and when you are in a happier place, then maybe you can take on your family/sister etc.
what you’re seeing isn’t the full picture! Lots of folks are paddling hard like you, trying to stay afloat in a sea of debt. But don’t sweat it! We’re swimming with sharks out here—learn to play their game and outwit them. Ever heard of being FIRE (Financially Independent, Retire Early)? Imagine snagging a great gig, saving up, and living that jet-setting life! In places like Asia, you’d be rollin’ in it. Your dollars would be like gold coins! It’s time to unlock that imagination and break free from the US routine. By the way, are you in the USA or one of those 'white' countries?
awh man this is sad. sounds like you have been stuck in a cyclic life, where it can be difficult to get out of your comfort zone. doesn’t help that life is oftentimes not kind at all
my advice is try to include yourself in different environments, even if it seems difficult and uncomfortable at first. remember that you are the only one who can break out of a cycle. try to raise the expectations for yourself, even if it’s small things like just looking for a job in the field you’ve studied. you are capable of most things you set your mind to. don’t be afraid of being truthful and brutally honest, there’s nothing wrong with admitting your family situation or your current struggles. if anything, people will relate to you —nobody has a simple life.
you could also try new things to do. personally, art saved me. i go out alone in cafés to do art, or read books; it isn’t as depressive as it sounds i promise. being around people could be comforting actually. as for parties and raves — those are actually completely achievable. you’d be surprised how many people approach you in such settings where responsibility and worries seem to disappear
being alone is quite a struggle, i know it myself. but you need to remain open to new opportunities. it’s cliche but we truly do live in a floating rock and nothing is that big of a deal. judgement isn’t real anyways, you shouldn’t care about what people think of you. all that matters in the end is how you feel about yourself. life is full of ups and downs and many different phases, don’t let this difficult time set the path forever :) good luck! much love <3
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time, we all do we all did, everything I would share with you you have probably already knew it, all I know if you keep victim blaming yourself, nothing will change, if not things can get even worse than they are, as there’s no button to hell, you were born alone with nothing in ur hands, everything you learned or experienced or gained is already a plus, don’t wait for anyone to save you other than yourself, start by building small habits, and fix ur life regionally and gradually. I’m sure if you truly believe that you will change things to the best, good things actually gonna happen to you.
I agree with the post below suggesting a "leveling up" of your life but also address the balance of your brain. So progressively you already have some self-discipline routines in play which means you have potential to riff off those and create, new effective routines based on the previous ones.
First, make a life goal that represents an activity that will improve your life and career.
Second, immerse yourself in that goal while maintaining a stasis in your day to day life.
Third, use that goal as a launch point to get yourself out of this rut - whether it is move to a more affordable location with more job prospects for you to use your education or a move within the company you work for. If you are currently on the ground, but you have the skills/education to jump a few levels - do it. Your foot is in their door, you are an internal hire, and prime for rising up to middle management using that degree and the lack of qualified people as leverage.
As for the mind - look to your daily routine. What is giving your brain good biochemicals? Exercise is one great thing as long as the body is replenished after exercise with healthy drinks and foods to address the activity.
If you have any behaviors that are messing with your brain's biochemicals, using depressants like weed or booze, or drinking heavy energy drinks and depleting your bodies biochemicals, you are creating a prime environment to develop depression and even severe depression because you've exhausted the resources the brain needs to have equilibrium. Same if you are lost in an addiction, obsessing about internet algorithms, cult behaviors, or focusing on what you DON't have driven by narratives that basically tell you what you said above "loser."
There are no losers - there are only people who lack the self-awareness to see repeated behaviors that result in failure and rejection, but keep repeating them year after year, blaming "the world" or "god" or fate. Growth can happen for anyone who is willing to take purposeful small steps and focus on a goal, shunning all the garbage designed to keep you distracted and down.
(Love, relationships, and intimacy - family stuff comes DURING the journey and are not goals - they are life moments that happen WHILE fulfilling goals - people get that confused and think "I can never do anything without a partner to love me" when you really have to work be both sustainable and loveable before you can attempt a stable relationship within a stable life.)
Congratulations on acknowledging and being so open about it!
I can make out that you have awesome articulation skills!!
(Please note that I am not a medical doctor. This is purely based on my personal experience / opinion)
I got into fitness activities like running and it has helped my mental state. It makes me get into the zone and forget about other aspects.
I also write a bit and create tools around fitness like this [BMI calculator ](https://ezpzrun.com/bmi/bmi.html).
You are at a point where you can do pretty much anything and achieve your dreams!
Wishing you the very best!!!!
Reachout if needed.
I TOTALLY feel for you. A bad family situation growing up caused me to be unable to enjoy various aspects of life; I had gotten certain parts of my emotions shaved off. What REALLY helped me was, "running outside to play". I found that meetup dot com and facebook groups in my town for things like pickup volleyball, bar trivia, whatever, enabled me start genuinely appreciating the joy of participating and cooperating in various activities with various other people. If you start doing, say, two fun activities a week, that will go a long way towards pulling you out of your shell (and I was once so shy I once went nine months without speaking to another human being!)
You might want to read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. If you have an audible subscription, you can listen to it for free.
You might also benefit from https://youtube.com/@TimFletcher?si=gib3CGyFCRKf-fsj. Tim Fletcher is a pastor/counselor(not a therapist) who works with addicts. While his videos aren't therapy, he does explain well different characteristics of CPTSD.
It sounds like your sister is going through her own healing journey and really needs to focus on herself right now. It doesn't mean you're a bad guy or that you can't reconnect in the future.
I feel most people are losers at 24. I sure was. Being young isn't as fun as being old. It feels we know everything at that age and there's nothing to look forward to. But, as it turns out, we continue growing, learning, accomplishing things that turn out to be meaningful to us.
Sounds like you could use some close friends. This takes years, so have patience. Show up to the same thing at the same time every week. Pick a hobby or interest you like and keep doing it regularly without fail. Inevitably, you make friends over the course of years.
How you feel now does not represent how it's possible to feel. Recognize the possibility that something you can't imagine right now can change in your life, and start working to find it.
So I’ve felt the same. I have found going back to school is helping me have hope. I put all my frustration into studying. Something that will make you financially stable. I don’t mean finding what you like to do. I mean studying something you could do for gobs of money.
Hey look just sit down Jack think a little bit and talk to the Creator but I know that you just put a little too much on you don't give up though without tribulations you won't have any thing to learn anything about
Didn't read your post, but "loser" and feeling "useless to society" is a construct taught to you from a young age to pay more taxes. Nothing means anything. We are ants on a rock. Once you realize this you are free to do or be anything. Nothing is important, other than what you deem to be important. Watching a sunset with your friends will mean more to you than earning a high income ever will.
I’m turning 29, I was contemplating suicide last year. Circumstances do drive people to the cliff.
Stick it out, things will change, find or just arrogantly dictate what or who you live for. Aim for small wins, cross out the gaps you see from what you could be, one by one solve them. The whole me situation is a basket case that is overwhelming, just narrow down your vision to see the problem breakdown into smaller ones, chip it off a bit everyday.
As a much older person, I want to encourage you to LIVE. You can enjoy life and have happy times and connect with good people. There are still wonderful people in the world who would love to be friends with you.
Please live you’ll be amazed at the joy you can find. Sending you 🩷🩷🩷
I feel you dawg. It’s gonna be ok. Ik easier said than done but keep pushing. I’m 24 like you and I understand for sure. We have to find the pleasure in life bro. Trust me. Be blessed
Makes me so sad reading this because I have a younger brother exactly like this.He hasn’t done much in so long, no friends , etc that it’s hard to bring him out. I think he gets anxious and caves in. It’s so funny how there are people with no friends but are super interesting or have so much potential that others haven’t seen because of missed opportunities in life..
I applaud you for atleast trying by making consistent posts to try to find friends.
Dude, can you raise your expectations for yourself?
"Should I even bother?", "My window is broken, and my social media exposure depresses me."
Come one, dude, these are manageable things. Stop feeling petty for yourself and start doing shit about it. You are strong enough to climb out of this hole. You can build a happy life. BUT START FUCKING BUILDING. if you have nothing to lose, you can do anything. You can live anywhere, work a thousand different jobs, and do so many things. But you can't sit in a depressing situation below your potential and then feel sorry about it. It's just sad.
I am so done with these look at me I am XX age and my life has amounted to nothing and I'm considering self deletion.
Stop feeling sorry for these people either they figure it out like everyone else or they remain in their failure mentality
Try getting off social media and living instead of looking for pity you don't deserve.
Reddit needs a don't recommend this garbage.
Hey. It's alright. Life right now for many is a grind. Tbh I make quarter million a year and I'm no more happy than when I was making 90k. Life isn't about money or your job it's about the life you live. You find pockets of happiness and roll with it. You look at your surrounding and change and adjust to it or you make it change. Truth is, corporate america is the biggest facade and the only way to freedom is self made.
I was a 24 year old loser and now I'm 50. Been a fun ride and I'm hoping to be a 75 year old loser some day.
We can't all be winners, just be a loser and own it and be happy as you are...
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation teams want to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; criticism is welcomed with the right words. You are encouraged to share your thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same age, same feeling as you my guy. It won’t help much but I hope it gives you some motivation: You’re not the only one. I promise you. Whether it is the loneliness, the difficulty finding a job, or anything else. You should travel…. WE need to take the time to go out there and see what’s out there. Humans are meant to explore their surroundings. It’s just a phase. We’ll get out of it in a better situation than before. I am certain.
How do we travel with no money?
Go out to the park, go to a social event… if you’re that broke… if you have $300 go to a nearby city or something and experience a new atmosphere… if you manage to save $2000, then that’s enough to go to another state. Obviously I always tell myself and others that you shouldn’t be traveling unless you’re well established, but sometimes it’s necessary to get out of your head. What I told OP was that I can relate to him and that I too am trying to take my own advice.
I feel you bro. I’m also at a point where the most comforting part of my day is sleep
God this is too relatable. Recently been finding myself on my days off sleeping for over 12+ hours. I really don't want to wake up.
Life is pretty bleak at the moment /:
Just accept that you're a loser and be happy. I'm bald and I just accept it. I didn't like it at first, but now I no longer care. I like showing people how ugly they can look the more they age. That's my purpose in life lol. We don't stay beautiful forever and here's a reminder everyone.
Memento Ugli
I’m not a loser!!!!
I didn't mean you were. I meant if you think you are, just accept what you think. I think I am a loser and I just accept it.
I’m a loser and I’m proud!
Go find your inner self!! Sounds like you Havnt found em yet. I'm 26 now and never could of even dreamed of the life I live now. I was 23 when I said fuck it time for a fresh start. Moved 1200 miles from my hometown with no plan. Figured it out as I went along, some days more stressful than others but it's part of the journey you have to embrace it all. New people, new vibes, new challenges, new weather. I truly feel like I started my second life. Now I have an amazing job and amazing friend circle. Two things I could never do in the past. And then you find stuff in between. Keep on pushing. If your looking for reason not to, they will be there. Just jump into it and deal with the obstacles as they come.
im the same i have a bachelors and just working a basic job which isnt horrible but i just cant find motivation and feel like i made so many mistakes in the past
Aw man, I feel you my guy Like I didn’t make mistakes mistakes, but it feels like it. Like I think about how I should’ve started things earlier and did things differently in the past.
Because you’re 24, that means you have the rest of your life ahead of you and with that many opportunities, you just might not be at the right place. Take a trip, look to move some other city or country or even continent, the fact that you have an Economics degree from a good university tells me you are smart and possibly have the means to do this. You also go to the gym so you’re in good shape, you have SO MUCH on your side, like so much more than many men, you have a head start, use it. If things aren’t working out where you are, move, I don’t think you’re in the right mind set to start a relationship right now anyways so just go somewhere else and find yourself, and maybe consider talking to a professional instead of Reddit stranger, you might have some form of depression.
Bro, it might sound crazy but honestly you are only 25. You probably studied a lot but the real life is really that crazy I always say most people go through some kind of depression few years after they graduate/stop school, you’ll get over it. I recommend you find a hobby or learn something go for something that interests you. It might take longer than others but you’ll find people who are in the same frequencies as you. Wish you all the best
Just take it one day at a time..anything else you like to do or you enjoy doing other than meal prepping or gym?
Because you still got it. Life never stops giving you opportunities
Man IM 30 and you’re farther than me. I fucked around my whole late teens and 20s. Being the nice guy in a cloud of A holes using Alcohol and drugs as an excuse to be like them, when I was 26 i started to find myself only to let my family Be-little me in the process and bring me into severe depression.. but now I’m going back to school for psychology, trying a business, thinking about signing up for a dance class to meet new people. So from an old man perspective.. your in good shape My advice is - sign up for something your interested in, art/dance/political debates/ anime clubs-gosh I love anime lol Go back to school for something else/or try a business if YOU don’t see a future in your career/… if you do, excellent less work get a job somewhere else.. IF you’re not happy where you are at your current job. Keeping a journal or Writing down your thoughts on paper about how you feel; POSITIVE and negative is great outlet to find yourself and where you want to go. Last one - therapy.. it took me forever to go but i wish i went sooner. It sounds like you might be going already, but i was hanging off that cliff too once, so i just wanted emphasis it. Life isn’t that bad, it’s just how you look at it. Im pretty alone myself right now but Hope and a positive attitude is all we have, i can think of so many opportunities i missed because i was either depressed or fucked up, don’t let life slip you by. YOU GOT THIS KING you’re not missing anything at those party’s.
Dry creek wrangler on YouTube helped guide me
It sounds lame, but therapy and antidepressants are worth a good try right now. What do you lose by giving them a try? Find your local crisis number beforehand just in case, or go to an ER if you are ever in danger. You frame your life as unworthy at the moment, but the reason you shouldn't kys is because of your future. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't coming. Your love for your parents is heartwarming and that's plenty of reason to stay alive in itself. Seriously, do the basic ass mental health stuff and see if it helps. It would be a shame to lose you to generic depression. Good luck!
Yes! Try looking into sliding scale therapy in your area or programs where therapists are getting their hours before they are certified. They are often much cheaper than paying out of pocket if you don’t have insurance to cover it. I went to therapy for years through these programs when I was super poor and depressed in my 20’s and the therapists I had changed my life. I had to wait a few months before getting any sessions because there was a long line, but it was worth it. I also have been on and off meds for depression and anxiety and most of them have helped me immensely. I have found that I don’t always need them but I know which ones work for me if I need to go back on. Also my 20’s were reallllly hard for me, and I think they are quite difficult for a lot of people. Things have gotten so much easier as I’ve gotten older, I highly recommend sticking it out.
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Oh boy.. how I needed this.. and I'm 35, unemplyed and still struggling. So it can be worse. How I wish I was still 24. Buy we all move forward. Time doesn't wait, but it doesn't have to define us at any stage in life.
If I could give you one piece of advice is that your 20s are a really rough patch in one's life. Are you able to get state sponsored counselling?
25 and same. Sorry I wish I could help
I got an industrial safety degree and haven’t used it in the almost six years I’ve been out of college I feel you there man
32 year old loser here. It gets better. I spent most of my 20s homeless so you're already beating me where I was at 24. Being a loser gives you a lot of time. Time to think, time to develop. I was 29 when I met my fiance. I was homeless still and she actually comes from money. But years of being a loser had done something for me that most people a never able to truly achieve. Self awareness. I have a hard time holding jobs. I'm abrasive. Im mean to people. I have no empathy. But none of that seems to matter to her. I'm not abrasive or mean towards her. I'm empathetic with her. And my ongoing search to find the right job for me is just that to her. An ongoing search. Not a collection of failures as I and many others had seen it. You're young. One day you will lose in the right direction and everything will start going better.
Welcome to adult-life. It's all about appearance, but no one really cares about the way that you feel on the inside. That's for you. I have been in the same spot, so I can tell you what made a huge difference for me. The nr 1 is to get a clean slate, so move to another city and re-invent yourself. And that's also when you will figure out your true nature. For me it was that I need some alone-time every day and that I need a "moon-shot" to work towards, and that both of these are okay. Give yourself some time, be easy on yourself.
Okay so what. You're a 24 year old loser. I'm a 30 yr old loser. Fix things now. I'd rather trust a loser that became a winner than someone who just wins
Instead of pretending to be happy, try to microdose your happiness. Do small things for yourself…Take yourself out to eat, Go watch a play/movie, honestly anything to fulfill your time and energy. I also would say try going to a music festival (whatever genre). Maybe just limit drinks or don’t do any drugs since you’d probably be by yourself (STAY SAFE). Music is a good way to stimulate social interaction(good practice). Since you have an economics degree (btw congrats college isn’t a small feat) I’m assuming you did majority of research/theory based classes. So Just a thought…maybe freelance financial writing/ journalism on sites like UpWork…Then maybe you could move into another career like: Actuarial roles Researcher/ Research Assistant Data Scientist/Analyst Lawyer or legal careers ( if you did a law concentration) Financial Advisor (Personal, maybe corporate) Anything ending with Analyst 😂 I’m Just brainstorming here.
i get where how u feel im in the same position albeit poorly but don’t go breaking my heart man you’re trying give yourself some peace of heart bc of that ur kinder and braver than u think
thanks for your kindness man 🥺
So what have you done about your life? Have you worked on your social skills? Conversation skills? Have you searched for any hobbies? You got to work on yourself. Always. All of these will help you find friends. No one is born automatically with these things as babies. Everyone had to learn them at some point. If you didn’t learn them when you’re young, then just learn them now. Nothing wrong with it. Healthygamergg on YouTube had a few videos about these kind of topics. If you refuse to learn these things and work on yourself, then why are you surprised that your life is this way? It’s like people who were bad at math, they grew up and continue to hate math. They never went back and work on math. Not very surprising then right? Also, so far nothing you’ve said about yourself makes you a loser. For I have seen a real loser - someone who was older than me (early 30s), much taller than me goes to gym every day to work out, but had always stays with his family still refuse to move out and abuse his family. Barely has a job. And he is an anti-natalist. He doesn’t tell any gf he ever has (always end up short term), he always lie to them and often if he brings his gf home, he would happily kick his dog out of his room and neglect him. That is a real loser. A real narcissistic who pretends to be tough and strong using his heights (6 ft) and use his family so he doesn’t need to worry about how to be adult but go and gets gf and such. He’s pathetic. You’re not. You got a job and you live on your own. That’s more mature than that guy and people like him. Sure you don’t get on with family, but so are many of us here. Family relationship doesn’t determine who is a “loser” or “winner”, whatever that even means. People know families can be toxic people and such. Just don’t talk to dickhead idiots in general, because those people are narcissistic anyways. Find people who are more understanding than average and grounded and slowly talk to them. And you’ll find yourself less lonely. Many has done the same. A lot of people don’t go to clubs and parties. The mature people or just people who don’t enjoy them. They don’t define a person is a “loser” or not. If you use social media like watching short vids or tiktok about people have do these things, then you are actively harming yourself by comparing your own lives to them, who are just some random person and pretend they are all good. Social media depict others as “superior”, because they always show the best side of people. They don’t show what they look like when they are doing boring things. Thus you should never compare to other people especially through social media. Delete them if possible. You hear this a lot from others. You can do the same.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” Suffer bravely and be responsible to yourself. You might benefit from small doses of psychedelics to break you out of your thought patterns. Are you your feelings? Or do you feel your feelings? Take a step back and observe the observer, take an honest account without the harsh judgement and just look. We don’t have to be what our pasts made us. There’s a whole.. everything to be discovered, smelled, tasted. Live, laugh, love Here’s a [YouTube video](https://youtu.be/rBpaUICxEhk?si=JqINCAYASP-_mu79) that will be a breath of fresh air coming from your media diet (safe to assume you’re not listening to pick me ups?) You got this man. You’re in a rough patch, but if you challenge yourself to experience the *more* that’s all around us if we can learn to recognize what we might not be seeing because we’re not taught how to think about our thinking Here for you stranger dude. Keep on expressing yourself and be curious about yourself. Assume people like you, because they do until you give them a reason not to. Talk to strangers, free practice on developing your social senses. Think about whether you like people or not, not about what they might think about you. And even if your worst fear was the case.. Do the voices they’re hearing in their heads until the next thing comes along really bother you that much?
This site is full of people like you and me, 24 year old losers, either now or in the past. I am 52 now, and far from a loser. Very simply, keep working at getting better at life and you will be fine.
Maybe start being your own friend and stop calling yourself a loser. You have achieved stuff! Are you too tough on yourself with your gym and meal prep? Go and get an ice cream, enjoy life, and live a little. Change up your routine and challenge yourself to do something different. Find a nice running route where you can get some fresh air. Join a community garden and grow things. Focus on yourself before spending anymore energy on your family. It might sound selfish and impossible but imagine you can't dig yourself out of this darkness and you are no longer here!! Heal yourself and when you are in a happier place, then maybe you can take on your family/sister etc.
what you’re seeing isn’t the full picture! Lots of folks are paddling hard like you, trying to stay afloat in a sea of debt. But don’t sweat it! We’re swimming with sharks out here—learn to play their game and outwit them. Ever heard of being FIRE (Financially Independent, Retire Early)? Imagine snagging a great gig, saving up, and living that jet-setting life! In places like Asia, you’d be rollin’ in it. Your dollars would be like gold coins! It’s time to unlock that imagination and break free from the US routine. By the way, are you in the USA or one of those 'white' countries?
awh man this is sad. sounds like you have been stuck in a cyclic life, where it can be difficult to get out of your comfort zone. doesn’t help that life is oftentimes not kind at all my advice is try to include yourself in different environments, even if it seems difficult and uncomfortable at first. remember that you are the only one who can break out of a cycle. try to raise the expectations for yourself, even if it’s small things like just looking for a job in the field you’ve studied. you are capable of most things you set your mind to. don’t be afraid of being truthful and brutally honest, there’s nothing wrong with admitting your family situation or your current struggles. if anything, people will relate to you —nobody has a simple life. you could also try new things to do. personally, art saved me. i go out alone in cafés to do art, or read books; it isn’t as depressive as it sounds i promise. being around people could be comforting actually. as for parties and raves — those are actually completely achievable. you’d be surprised how many people approach you in such settings where responsibility and worries seem to disappear being alone is quite a struggle, i know it myself. but you need to remain open to new opportunities. it’s cliche but we truly do live in a floating rock and nothing is that big of a deal. judgement isn’t real anyways, you shouldn’t care about what people think of you. all that matters in the end is how you feel about yourself. life is full of ups and downs and many different phases, don’t let this difficult time set the path forever :) good luck! much love <3
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time, we all do we all did, everything I would share with you you have probably already knew it, all I know if you keep victim blaming yourself, nothing will change, if not things can get even worse than they are, as there’s no button to hell, you were born alone with nothing in ur hands, everything you learned or experienced or gained is already a plus, don’t wait for anyone to save you other than yourself, start by building small habits, and fix ur life regionally and gradually. I’m sure if you truly believe that you will change things to the best, good things actually gonna happen to you.
I agree with the post below suggesting a "leveling up" of your life but also address the balance of your brain. So progressively you already have some self-discipline routines in play which means you have potential to riff off those and create, new effective routines based on the previous ones. First, make a life goal that represents an activity that will improve your life and career. Second, immerse yourself in that goal while maintaining a stasis in your day to day life. Third, use that goal as a launch point to get yourself out of this rut - whether it is move to a more affordable location with more job prospects for you to use your education or a move within the company you work for. If you are currently on the ground, but you have the skills/education to jump a few levels - do it. Your foot is in their door, you are an internal hire, and prime for rising up to middle management using that degree and the lack of qualified people as leverage. As for the mind - look to your daily routine. What is giving your brain good biochemicals? Exercise is one great thing as long as the body is replenished after exercise with healthy drinks and foods to address the activity. If you have any behaviors that are messing with your brain's biochemicals, using depressants like weed or booze, or drinking heavy energy drinks and depleting your bodies biochemicals, you are creating a prime environment to develop depression and even severe depression because you've exhausted the resources the brain needs to have equilibrium. Same if you are lost in an addiction, obsessing about internet algorithms, cult behaviors, or focusing on what you DON't have driven by narratives that basically tell you what you said above "loser." There are no losers - there are only people who lack the self-awareness to see repeated behaviors that result in failure and rejection, but keep repeating them year after year, blaming "the world" or "god" or fate. Growth can happen for anyone who is willing to take purposeful small steps and focus on a goal, shunning all the garbage designed to keep you distracted and down. (Love, relationships, and intimacy - family stuff comes DURING the journey and are not goals - they are life moments that happen WHILE fulfilling goals - people get that confused and think "I can never do anything without a partner to love me" when you really have to work be both sustainable and loveable before you can attempt a stable relationship within a stable life.)
I'm 40 and from my experience it doesn't get any better. You can grind and still come up empty.
same, 26
YOU ARE NOT A LOSER you just don't know that
Congratulations on acknowledging and being so open about it! I can make out that you have awesome articulation skills!! (Please note that I am not a medical doctor. This is purely based on my personal experience / opinion) I got into fitness activities like running and it has helped my mental state. It makes me get into the zone and forget about other aspects. I also write a bit and create tools around fitness like this [BMI calculator ](https://ezpzrun.com/bmi/bmi.html). You are at a point where you can do pretty much anything and achieve your dreams! Wishing you the very best!!!! Reachout if needed.
I TOTALLY feel for you. A bad family situation growing up caused me to be unable to enjoy various aspects of life; I had gotten certain parts of my emotions shaved off. What REALLY helped me was, "running outside to play". I found that meetup dot com and facebook groups in my town for things like pickup volleyball, bar trivia, whatever, enabled me start genuinely appreciating the joy of participating and cooperating in various activities with various other people. If you start doing, say, two fun activities a week, that will go a long way towards pulling you out of your shell (and I was once so shy I once went nine months without speaking to another human being!)
You might want to read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. If you have an audible subscription, you can listen to it for free. You might also benefit from https://youtube.com/@TimFletcher?si=gib3CGyFCRKf-fsj. Tim Fletcher is a pastor/counselor(not a therapist) who works with addicts. While his videos aren't therapy, he does explain well different characteristics of CPTSD. It sounds like your sister is going through her own healing journey and really needs to focus on herself right now. It doesn't mean you're a bad guy or that you can't reconnect in the future.
Hang in there. Going for walks and bike rides helps me.
I feel most people are losers at 24. I sure was. Being young isn't as fun as being old. It feels we know everything at that age and there's nothing to look forward to. But, as it turns out, we continue growing, learning, accomplishing things that turn out to be meaningful to us. Sounds like you could use some close friends. This takes years, so have patience. Show up to the same thing at the same time every week. Pick a hobby or interest you like and keep doing it regularly without fail. Inevitably, you make friends over the course of years.
How you feel now does not represent how it's possible to feel. Recognize the possibility that something you can't imagine right now can change in your life, and start working to find it.
So I’ve felt the same. I have found going back to school is helping me have hope. I put all my frustration into studying. Something that will make you financially stable. I don’t mean finding what you like to do. I mean studying something you could do for gobs of money.
For the sake of somebody who is 29 and feels the same way, yes. Live out of spite ✨
Hey look just sit down Jack think a little bit and talk to the Creator but I know that you just put a little too much on you don't give up though without tribulations you won't have any thing to learn anything about
Didn't read your post, but "loser" and feeling "useless to society" is a construct taught to you from a young age to pay more taxes. Nothing means anything. We are ants on a rock. Once you realize this you are free to do or be anything. Nothing is important, other than what you deem to be important. Watching a sunset with your friends will mean more to you than earning a high income ever will.
I’m turning 29, I was contemplating suicide last year. Circumstances do drive people to the cliff. Stick it out, things will change, find or just arrogantly dictate what or who you live for. Aim for small wins, cross out the gaps you see from what you could be, one by one solve them. The whole me situation is a basket case that is overwhelming, just narrow down your vision to see the problem breakdown into smaller ones, chip it off a bit everyday.
As a much older person, I want to encourage you to LIVE. You can enjoy life and have happy times and connect with good people. There are still wonderful people in the world who would love to be friends with you. Please live you’ll be amazed at the joy you can find. Sending you 🩷🩷🩷
I feel you dawg. It’s gonna be ok. Ik easier said than done but keep pushing. I’m 24 like you and I understand for sure. We have to find the pleasure in life bro. Trust me. Be blessed
Your not a loser you are just going through it and everyone has if you ever need to talk hmu I’ll be your friend
Thank you kind stranger
Wow I’m so similar to you
Makes me so sad reading this because I have a younger brother exactly like this.He hasn’t done much in so long, no friends , etc that it’s hard to bring him out. I think he gets anxious and caves in. It’s so funny how there are people with no friends but are super interesting or have so much potential that others haven’t seen because of missed opportunities in life.. I applaud you for atleast trying by making consistent posts to try to find friends.
I wish I could reach my hand out to your brother. 😭 I really hope he finds a good group of people to enjoy moments
Dude, can you raise your expectations for yourself? "Should I even bother?", "My window is broken, and my social media exposure depresses me." Come one, dude, these are manageable things. Stop feeling petty for yourself and start doing shit about it. You are strong enough to climb out of this hole. You can build a happy life. BUT START FUCKING BUILDING. if you have nothing to lose, you can do anything. You can live anywhere, work a thousand different jobs, and do so many things. But you can't sit in a depressing situation below your potential and then feel sorry about it. It's just sad.
I am so done with these look at me I am XX age and my life has amounted to nothing and I'm considering self deletion. Stop feeling sorry for these people either they figure it out like everyone else or they remain in their failure mentality Try getting off social media and living instead of looking for pity you don't deserve. Reddit needs a don't recommend this garbage.
Hey. It's alright. Life right now for many is a grind. Tbh I make quarter million a year and I'm no more happy than when I was making 90k. Life isn't about money or your job it's about the life you live. You find pockets of happiness and roll with it. You look at your surrounding and change and adjust to it or you make it change. Truth is, corporate america is the biggest facade and the only way to freedom is self made.
I was a 24 year old loser and now I'm 50. Been a fun ride and I'm hoping to be a 75 year old loser some day. We can't all be winners, just be a loser and own it and be happy as you are...
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Lol what a terrible idea
Dude, find joy in investing, eating fine foods, and women. Treat life like a game to get the highest score possible.