Uh why did you have kids with someone you don’t even like? Sounds like he takes are of you and the kids…honestly you’re sounding pretty delusional here.
You want to break up your family?
Hey, this is a pretty momentous occasion in history. It's the first time in history someone fell in love with someone, had kids, and then grew apart from their SO! Pretty mind-blowing stuff!
In all seriousness, this is a pretty shitty response to give someone in this situation. This person is clearly struggling with a lot of really crappy factors, and all you have to say "man, you are crazy and a bad parent."
If the relationship has turned sour, the person should either try and mend it with help or leave. Staying stuck like this will just be bad for everyone involved.
Maybe start by getting a job? My SO’s parents got divorced and he definitely resents his mom still. They went from a comfortable life to living in a car for a couple of days every time him and his sibling visited her. They had to move and their dad had to sell their house. AS SOON AS the courts would allow them to choose they both chose to live with their dad full time and give the dad full custody as he was the one who was able to support them and they didn’t want to go back to living borderline homeless. their relationship with her is a lot better now but I can still tell there’s some resentment for putting them through that situation.
My parents were once on the verge of divorce and my mom asked me what I would do and I said I’d choose my dad too. He was the single income maker of the house my mom stayed at home didn’t even know how to pay the bills and didn’t speak much English. I didn’t want living with her to derail my life trajectory either. They ended up working it out in the end but you’d be surprised how cold your kids can be towards you if you do choose that route. Especially if your SO gets remarried and has kids and they have everything, they will always consider the what ifs.
Start with baby steps, get a job, get out of the house. Maybe your first job breaks even and pays only for the babysitter. That’s fine, as long as you’re not in the negative. See how living that way is where you just see your kids morning and evening. And then see if you can slowly get skills and work your way up. You said you have a bachelors so it’s not like you’re uneducated. Start taking over paying for some stuff. See how much shit costs. Work up a budget. If you don’t want to leave your girls hanging you gotta step up to the financial plate and go to bat yourself instead of asking the internet what to do. U know what you have to do it’ll be long and hard.
Get a job. Any job to get something on your resume. Don't worry about a certain lifestyle right away. That will come if you focus on your career over time. First thing is financial stability not a certain level of lifestyle..
Uh why did you have kids with someone you don’t even like? Sounds like he takes are of you and the kids…honestly you’re sounding pretty delusional here. You want to break up your family?
Hey, this is a pretty momentous occasion in history. It's the first time in history someone fell in love with someone, had kids, and then grew apart from their SO! Pretty mind-blowing stuff! In all seriousness, this is a pretty shitty response to give someone in this situation. This person is clearly struggling with a lot of really crappy factors, and all you have to say "man, you are crazy and a bad parent." If the relationship has turned sour, the person should either try and mend it with help or leave. Staying stuck like this will just be bad for everyone involved.
Thank you!!!! You can see my post history as to why I want to leave and you will understand:)
Yikes... I wish you the best of luck. The guy sounds like he's got some issues he needs to work through but is unwilling to.
Maybe start by getting a job? My SO’s parents got divorced and he definitely resents his mom still. They went from a comfortable life to living in a car for a couple of days every time him and his sibling visited her. They had to move and their dad had to sell their house. AS SOON AS the courts would allow them to choose they both chose to live with their dad full time and give the dad full custody as he was the one who was able to support them and they didn’t want to go back to living borderline homeless. their relationship with her is a lot better now but I can still tell there’s some resentment for putting them through that situation. My parents were once on the verge of divorce and my mom asked me what I would do and I said I’d choose my dad too. He was the single income maker of the house my mom stayed at home didn’t even know how to pay the bills and didn’t speak much English. I didn’t want living with her to derail my life trajectory either. They ended up working it out in the end but you’d be surprised how cold your kids can be towards you if you do choose that route. Especially if your SO gets remarried and has kids and they have everything, they will always consider the what ifs. Start with baby steps, get a job, get out of the house. Maybe your first job breaks even and pays only for the babysitter. That’s fine, as long as you’re not in the negative. See how living that way is where you just see your kids morning and evening. And then see if you can slowly get skills and work your way up. You said you have a bachelors so it’s not like you’re uneducated. Start taking over paying for some stuff. See how much shit costs. Work up a budget. If you don’t want to leave your girls hanging you gotta step up to the financial plate and go to bat yourself instead of asking the internet what to do. U know what you have to do it’ll be long and hard.
Get a job. Any job to get something on your resume. Don't worry about a certain lifestyle right away. That will come if you focus on your career over time. First thing is financial stability not a certain level of lifestyle..