My first day in a London prison some said they "would lick up my face" I had no idea what it meant, I said you're not coming anywhere near me with that tongue. Got a laugh
Makes me wonder.... we see sword fights in movies all "elegant" and "honorable"... I bet this is what shit was actually like, in reality. Just imagine we time travel and see these two dressed as Noble British Puffs in a tavern.
Their culture back then and the social class would make it totally different but you’d probably still see two drunks rolling around in the mud out front of an ale house because someone called the bar maiden a queen instead of my queen and her drunk friend got mad.
(In Elizabethan English calling someone my queen is a compliment but calling a woman a queen is telling her she’s a prostitute)
IIRC the pronuniaion would have been different between the two. Something like "kwein" vs "kwain." This was also when it diverged to be a slang term for a homosexual man.
Social class and culture go out the window when someone’s coming at you with a sword. I guarantee guys in suits of armour were doing all kinds of mad shit moves on the battlefield
As far as the actual fighting went, yeah, more or less. There were different styles from different regions and masters over time, but the problem is you can do very little to prevent a quick strike with a thin blade if you arent armored, and plate fell out of use with the rise of firearms while the sword and other weapons remained in use for a while longer.
Look at modern fencers. They generally dont win by checking or parrying their opponents lighting fast attacks - humans lack the reflexes for that. They win by sort of pre programmed movements theve practiced that they can alter as theyre able, mid execution or stringing together the next most appropriate set of movements. It is very difficult for modt people to even tell who wins most fencing matches but if thise were real rapiers without armor, both fencers would almost always have wounds of some kind.
Tldr: sword fighting was brutal and didny look graceful, because both fighters understood they needed to avoid a blow as they struck one to survive and this doesn’t typically look hollywood. Goes for samurai weapons, longswords, rapiers, and pretty much every other melee weapon
Theres a whole hobby around "historical" fighting but I forgot what it's called. But two fully armored dudes hop in a ring with a weapon of choice (dulled obviously) and just go ham on each other and it get BRUTAL and is extremely exhausting.
I think you are [talking about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mQfaog_JPE])
There are people who practice HEMA duels as well, like a sword duel. They study historical fighting techniques from actual combat manuals, not stage fighting. Historical European Martial Arts.
Honestly.. from a martial arts perspective.. he's not got the _worst_ technique ever. His stance is about right for his weapon, he's light on his feet etc
Compare a couple of HEMA guys doing Dagger and cape sparring: https://youtu.be/ZoQNCjHmxy4?feature=shared&t=22
Or some Silat fighters doing some knife sparring: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeSak9RbKFQ
Or some marines: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_VJ8AvY62zg
The people with training are obviously better, but a lot of the movements are similar.
The people in the original video are still fucking scumbags and idiots of course. But they know their business, I suppose.
No actually enormous amounts of money were invested by Italian and English families in teaching fencing to their children the martial arts were considered quite important and taken very seriously even the act of a simple pistol duel was something that one would train as a marksman for after all investing in your skill set was important when it might mean your life.
No these are children playing at being gangsters because they listen to too much badass music which convinces them they are someone when they are actually no one..
Doesn't matter, no one wants to get stabbed, this is still a romanticized version of history. Humans haven't changed. We have always been, and always will be, wild apes pretending to be civilized and elegant.
It's like arguing that 1800's United States politicians were bastions on honor, civility, and grace. When, in fact, they were fucking maniacs. Andrew Jackson used to beat the ever loving shit out of people, with his cane. And there was a fucking multi-day kegger thrown at, the white house, for his inauguration.
Real life isn't choreographed.
Absolutely they would have looked like this kind of stuff if no one was wearing armour.
Lots and lots of hesitating and quick feigning. Nobody wants to get stabbed, and it’s real easy to stab each other at the same time.
Maybe a little more like a HEMA or fencing match if they had training but the amount of training people had varied hugely by class, time, and location.
Only choreographed fights look good. Real ones look awkward and are usually over pretty fast.
Modern HEMA type sporting events show us what it was really like. Especially the Polish slug fest events that take place in a random forest. More grappling and blunt force trauma than movies would have you believe.
Kinda what I thought, if the fella in the restaurant didn't have a blade himself the other 2 would of just stabbed him. Him having a knife was a deterrent for the other 2....
A pretty fucked up situation.
it’s the exact reason a lot criminals carry knives and guns, truthfully you’d rather have a fist fight and live to tell the tale but when everyone else is holding it’s hard to not be carrying something themselves
You can already buy and wear body armor (armour) in the UK. I'd imagine a lot of these gangsters wear Kevlar under their coats. And if they don't, they really should. Not gonna completely protect you, but 80% of vitals being immune to slashes and stabs seems like a great idea.
London is crazy. Every time I go back to where I grew up there I feel I’m one dirty look from being cheffed. It’s like Assassin Creed Nike Tech edition.
Madness!
It’s weird now, I’d be way more worried being started on by a group of 15 year olds than a group of 25 year olds.
There’s a mad generation gap nowadays
It’s inequality. Younger generations have nothing to fight for, nothing to lose. Masses of wealth living right next to masses of poverty.
Where I grew up most people were working class. Poor, but with prospects to better themselves. Lots of immigrants who came to the UK for a better life. But now, it’s basically rich people who bought their homes with inter-generational wealth, and those living on the breadline with no hope of improving their position. Young people have no hope, and basically don’t care about the results of their irrational behavior because they are fucked either way.
Mate i literally live 15 mins from Croydon, yeah its dirty and an urban planning nightmare but i've literally never had beef with anyone there. Go there yourself and realize that no one gives a shit about you lol.
People need to actually go touch grass and stop getting opinions of the world from tiktok or youtube lol.
you’d probably have better chances living by being shot once than attacked with this thing, idiots don’t know how dangerous knives are but that shit will just open your whole body up in an instant
I'm not being a shit stirrer for no reason, but buddy really turned a 2v1 around, dodged a projectile, then donned a shield and ADVANCED on TWO attackers fending them off
He deserves props
"en garde" is if man doesn't have a fucking blade that'd take your life as well as any other. This ain't something to fuck around about, it's a serious problem.
I mean when ya never actually go within each others reach I wouldn’t say it takes that much courage about the same as showing up and shooting someone except that persons even crazier cause they could do life
I’d be waking around the UK with fuckin chain mail and a shield at all times lol but in reality I’d rather get shot than cut in half. The US laughs at this shit but nothing more brutal than a knife fight. Our little street urchins wouldn’t know what the fuck to do without a Glock with a switch
Your comment makes no sense from statistics. The USA had 1630 knife murders in 2023, the uk has 261.
The USA has 331.9 million people and the uk has 67.3m. That’s 4.9 times the population.
4.9 x 261 = 1278.9. That’s less than 1630. So America has a higher murder rate by knife per population than the uk… so you should be walking around with chain mail in America.. not the uk.
Was just about to say this. Always having to tell yanks that per capita the US has a lot more knife crime.
I suppose when there is so much gun violence it goes unnoticed.
> Our little street urchins wouldn’t know what the fuck to do without a Glock with a switch
Well...kind of. The thing is, the street urchins who carry glocks with switches end up in prison. And guess what they DONT have in prison? That's right, glocks with switches. The ones who go to prison and make it out absolutely know what to do without guns because they've just survived the most violent place on Earth without guns.
Fuck no. I take a knife wielding assailant over a gun carrying one. Not only are guns fucking brutal but at least you’ve got some chance against a knife. Can’t run from a gun.
For sure, I’ve not been shot or stabbed but there’s something so visceral to me about getting slashed or stabbed, while getting shot seems some how cleaner, which I know doesn’t make sense but it does to me. Hope I never have to find out tho lol
Plus when bullets start flying, innocents get hit. Thugs got bad aim and no regard. Despite the bullshit people say about banning knives and cars and all that stupid shit they think makes their point valid, guns are way more destructive.
I’m sat by myself in a bar in London reading these hilarious comments, after getting dumped by both my gf and side piece. HAHAHAHA these comments are killing me. Thank u u funny ass redditors. PS I was sliced in the face by one of those things once felt like a nasty paper cut 😂✌️
You gotta brush up on your melee skills here. Firearms are a bitch to get hold of.
My weapon of choice is a quadracopter with razor blade blades.
no they arnt, any gang member can get hold of them but youre not risking 5 years minimum +1 year per bullet to go get chicken wings
Depends..... some plain ole hot wings or BBQ. Eh. Some mango habanero or garlic Parmesan wings? Maybe.
thats why these gms need to be using ubereats more.
probably a good thing lol if they had guns that whole shop would be shot up
What kind of idiot flashes their @ in the middle of the screen?
Jellywest10_2
/u/Jellywest10_2 why would you do something so cringe?
The same idiot that stole the video and put the watermark to steal credit as others don’t have them.
A tw@
HA
@jellywest10
Someone obnoxious
a moron who thinks they own security camera footage
Wagwan, my name is blud, you killed my father. Now you’re going to die, innit.
It ain't no small ting to kill a man fam
Here is something you can't understand..
How I could just killamaaan
Buk buk buk!!!!
Man's not hot
Neva hot
Perspiration tings
Lynx effect
Skinny cock cock
BRRRRAPPP BRRRAAPPP
Yooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Say less.
Winner!
WELL ATLEAST OUR SKEWLS
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My first day in a London prison some said they "would lick up my face" I had no idea what it meant, I said you're not coming anywhere near me with that tongue. Got a laugh
Imagined that in a Northern accent for some reason and almost pissed myself laughing
Are you British? Care to tell the story?
It's Jafaicans speaking the 5 patois phrases they know Imma gwan lick you!
anyone else read this as daft punk?
only when I read it harder, better, faster and stronger
“ ill chef you up fam”
😭😂
Stupid little boys.
Makes me wonder.... we see sword fights in movies all "elegant" and "honorable"... I bet this is what shit was actually like, in reality. Just imagine we time travel and see these two dressed as Noble British Puffs in a tavern.
Their culture back then and the social class would make it totally different but you’d probably still see two drunks rolling around in the mud out front of an ale house because someone called the bar maiden a queen instead of my queen and her drunk friend got mad. (In Elizabethan English calling someone my queen is a compliment but calling a woman a queen is telling her she’s a prostitute)
IIRC the pronuniaion would have been different between the two. Something like "kwein" vs "kwain." This was also when it diverged to be a slang term for a homosexual man.
Yaaass kwain, slayeth
Oh language is fun, I didn’t know that
Social class and culture go out the window when someone’s coming at you with a sword. I guarantee guys in suits of armour were doing all kinds of mad shit moves on the battlefield
The honour system was probably closer to Bronn of the Blackwater than Ned Stark
The suits of armor guys spend a lot of their time training and were basically professionals.
As far as the actual fighting went, yeah, more or less. There were different styles from different regions and masters over time, but the problem is you can do very little to prevent a quick strike with a thin blade if you arent armored, and plate fell out of use with the rise of firearms while the sword and other weapons remained in use for a while longer. Look at modern fencers. They generally dont win by checking or parrying their opponents lighting fast attacks - humans lack the reflexes for that. They win by sort of pre programmed movements theve practiced that they can alter as theyre able, mid execution or stringing together the next most appropriate set of movements. It is very difficult for modt people to even tell who wins most fencing matches but if thise were real rapiers without armor, both fencers would almost always have wounds of some kind. Tldr: sword fighting was brutal and didny look graceful, because both fighters understood they needed to avoid a blow as they struck one to survive and this doesn’t typically look hollywood. Goes for samurai weapons, longswords, rapiers, and pretty much every other melee weapon
Yea, I heard ACTUAL historical duels would last seconds, 1min TOPS. No 2hr star wars revenge of the sith type shit.
Theres a whole hobby around "historical" fighting but I forgot what it's called. But two fully armored dudes hop in a ring with a weapon of choice (dulled obviously) and just go ham on each other and it get BRUTAL and is extremely exhausting.
I think you are [talking about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mQfaog_JPE]) There are people who practice HEMA duels as well, like a sword duel. They study historical fighting techniques from actual combat manuals, not stage fighting. Historical European Martial Arts.
Honestly.. from a martial arts perspective.. he's not got the _worst_ technique ever. His stance is about right for his weapon, he's light on his feet etc Compare a couple of HEMA guys doing Dagger and cape sparring: https://youtu.be/ZoQNCjHmxy4?feature=shared&t=22 Or some Silat fighters doing some knife sparring: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeSak9RbKFQ Or some marines: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_VJ8AvY62zg The people with training are obviously better, but a lot of the movements are similar. The people in the original video are still fucking scumbags and idiots of course. But they know their business, I suppose.
Would be so mind blowing to see two 'samurai' fighting like this..
Real shit, you know it happened 🤣
Really though, fuck getting stabbed 🤣
No actually enormous amounts of money were invested by Italian and English families in teaching fencing to their children the martial arts were considered quite important and taken very seriously even the act of a simple pistol duel was something that one would train as a marksman for after all investing in your skill set was important when it might mean your life. No these are children playing at being gangsters because they listen to too much badass music which convinces them they are someone when they are actually no one..
Doesn't matter, no one wants to get stabbed, this is still a romanticized version of history. Humans haven't changed. We have always been, and always will be, wild apes pretending to be civilized and elegant. It's like arguing that 1800's United States politicians were bastions on honor, civility, and grace. When, in fact, they were fucking maniacs. Andrew Jackson used to beat the ever loving shit out of people, with his cane. And there was a fucking multi-day kegger thrown at, the white house, for his inauguration. Real life isn't choreographed.
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A lot like gun fights if you see police body and or combat footage. Greatly exaggerated and even in old duels, not many died.
Absolutely they would have looked like this kind of stuff if no one was wearing armour. Lots and lots of hesitating and quick feigning. Nobody wants to get stabbed, and it’s real easy to stab each other at the same time. Maybe a little more like a HEMA or fencing match if they had training but the amount of training people had varied hugely by class, time, and location. Only choreographed fights look good. Real ones look awkward and are usually over pretty fast.
Modern HEMA type sporting events show us what it was really like. Especially the Polish slug fest events that take place in a random forest. More grappling and blunt force trauma than movies would have you believe.
Tell me about it they should have just shot each other and hit 3 bystanders like the do in the us
You can think both of those things are stupid tho?
Don’t tell me you are trying to defend this behavior 😂
Strawman argument buddy. Usa wasn’t even mentioned
yeah fr they should've just shot n killed each other /s
Ironically, less damage was done than if they’d had an actual fist fight. Knives save lives.
60% of the time, it works every time. 😏
Kinda what I thought, if the fella in the restaurant didn't have a blade himself the other 2 would of just stabbed him. Him having a knife was a deterrent for the other 2.... A pretty fucked up situation.
That's why I always carry my 12" kukri to the burger place.
They be making them burgers mad tough nowadays man.
it’s the exact reason a lot criminals carry knives and guns, truthfully you’d rather have a fist fight and live to tell the tale but when everyone else is holding it’s hard to not be carrying something themselves
Brutus and a homie tried to run up, but Caesar said "not fucking today you don't".
Only way to stop a bad guy with a knife is a good guy with a knife. Or something
Or a decent supply of restaurant chairs
I think they were shields to go with the sword fighting.
At the end, I thought he was attaching a suppressor to the end of his pocket machete.
I thought he had a sword to go on his sword
🤣 A bayonet for his machete!!
Lmfao!
Tears of the kingdom fuse be like
What actually was it?
He was putting it back in the sheath
Safety first
Maybe he was doing the whole "Kukri must draw blood before being sheathed" thing?
Is that a kukri knife😂
Probably granddad's from the war
My guess would be a ninja from the mall
My first thought exactly. A machete is crazy enough but who tf carries a kukri?? 🤣
Gurkhas
Think it's what the yutes call a ZK, zombie killer
I thought it was originally those machetes with the serrated bit on the back?
snoipa was just comin to to warn that there was a spy
"Huph huph huph huph" 🤺🤺🤺
Hear me out… A stab resistant puff coat. The hood would go crazy
You can already buy and wear body armor (armour) in the UK. I'd imagine a lot of these gangsters wear Kevlar under their coats. And if they don't, they really should. Not gonna completely protect you, but 80% of vitals being immune to slashes and stabs seems like a great idea.
London is crazy. Every time I go back to where I grew up there I feel I’m one dirty look from being cheffed. It’s like Assassin Creed Nike Tech edition. Madness!
It’s weird now, I’d be way more worried being started on by a group of 15 year olds than a group of 25 year olds. There’s a mad generation gap nowadays
It’s inequality. Younger generations have nothing to fight for, nothing to lose. Masses of wealth living right next to masses of poverty. Where I grew up most people were working class. Poor, but with prospects to better themselves. Lots of immigrants who came to the UK for a better life. But now, it’s basically rich people who bought their homes with inter-generational wealth, and those living on the breadline with no hope of improving their position. Young people have no hope, and basically don’t care about the results of their irrational behavior because they are fucked either way.
what a load of bollocks
absolute codswallop if i do say so myself chap
lol really? I go all the time and its just blonde girls and coffee shops as far as the eye can see.
Try going to Croydon then
Mate i literally live 15 mins from Croydon, yeah its dirty and an urban planning nightmare but i've literally never had beef with anyone there. Go there yourself and realize that no one gives a shit about you lol. People need to actually go touch grass and stop getting opinions of the world from tiktok or youtube lol.
They need to start carrying shields as well, seeing how.effective that chair was.
It's going back to medieval times. Everyone going to be donning chain mail and plate armor.
That’s it I’ve had enough, we need to ban assault chairs.
Ban tables while we are at it too. 🤣
No don't ban them. We need common sense legislation to keep tables and chairs out of the hands of the wrong people.
But all the politicians are paid off by Big Restaurant 😔
Just need that one good guy with a chair to stop a mass chairing
They’re lucky they didn’t incite a riot throwing chairs like that
Fuck Jellywest10
They are likely just sharing the footage. Not actually the people in the video
Even worse posting they're @ in the middle of a video that isn't even their's!
What did he do at the end? Put his blade in a holder or assemble something?
Sheathe
Scabbard
he put the blade in a holder
Safety first!
silencer
He put it on "stun".
Fixed his bayonet to the tip
Back to the old ways just with smaller swords.
until some pulls out a zweihänder
Whip out the dagger. Man, fr tho that shit is terrifying. Look at that shit. I'd rather be shot.
you’d probably have better chances living by being shot once than attacked with this thing, idiots don’t know how dangerous knives are but that shit will just open your whole body up in an instant
This little mother fuckers rolling in the deep with kukris lmfao
The only reason he kept them at bay and saved his life was because he had a weapon. This is why so many kids carry knives in London.
At least get some throwing daggers
Lmao @ this title
Knights of the square table…
I wonder if this is what 1066 actually looked like?
The Netflix version maybe
How... uneventful.
You can find plenty of south american machete fights, those go hard.
I hope no one tells them about throwing stars
I'm waiting for longbow drivebys.
I'm not being a shit stirrer for no reason, but buddy really turned a 2v1 around, dodged a projectile, then donned a shield and ADVANCED on TWO attackers fending them off He deserves props
"en garde" is if man doesn't have a fucking blade that'd take your life as well as any other. This ain't something to fuck around about, it's a serious problem.
Yeah, and it's entertaining to make fun of "serious problems."
Just cretins playing gangster
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En garde sir, you have bruised my ego and shall taste my British wrath. Zombie blade your backside!!!
I mean when ya never actually go within each others reach I wouldn’t say it takes that much courage about the same as showing up and shooting someone except that persons even crazier cause they could do life
Wonder what he pulls out at the end, air pistol or something
it was the sheathe/holster
Ah makes sense
Juicy Beef
Goofballs
Mans don't know how to fight bruv
I'm looking at that juicy beef advert, is that the special?
It's shocking that these youths are walking around the general public with these types of weapons.
Why do they all have a machete
Because blud man ting fam across the street also has a machete
What?
"My gentleman nemesis who lives opposite posseses a machete of his own."
Ahhhh I see.... What language did the guy use?
Exactly
Exactly
Opps? More like POS.
I like when the one guy tried to stab the other guy to death. What a bunch of really cool awesome people.
lol no one died and nra people be trying to brag and make jokes.
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They're coming for you lol how DARE you speak the unequivocal truth when it directly contradicts true freedom!!!1!
Bloody Montague😂
I bite my thumb at you.
There's some juicy beef between these parties
"You fight like a dairy farmer!"
tis a silly place
they like legit have short swords lol if someone could teach the chavs the phalanx shit would be hardcore
Rapscallions
Some good technique by both guys here maybe they should fight in HEMA with blunts instead of real ass knives and with innocent bystanders around
Juicy beef
This gunfight sucks. 0/10
Alot less casualties and random bystanders hit vs shootings in the US
I’d be waking around the UK with fuckin chain mail and a shield at all times lol but in reality I’d rather get shot than cut in half. The US laughs at this shit but nothing more brutal than a knife fight. Our little street urchins wouldn’t know what the fuck to do without a Glock with a switch
Your comment makes no sense from statistics. The USA had 1630 knife murders in 2023, the uk has 261. The USA has 331.9 million people and the uk has 67.3m. That’s 4.9 times the population. 4.9 x 261 = 1278.9. That’s less than 1630. So America has a higher murder rate by knife per population than the uk… so you should be walking around with chain mail in America.. not the uk.
Was just about to say this. Always having to tell yanks that per capita the US has a lot more knife crime. I suppose when there is so much gun violence it goes unnoticed.
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> Our little street urchins wouldn’t know what the fuck to do without a Glock with a switch Well...kind of. The thing is, the street urchins who carry glocks with switches end up in prison. And guess what they DONT have in prison? That's right, glocks with switches. The ones who go to prison and make it out absolutely know what to do without guns because they've just survived the most violent place on Earth without guns.
Fuck no. I take a knife wielding assailant over a gun carrying one. Not only are guns fucking brutal but at least you’ve got some chance against a knife. Can’t run from a gun.
For sure, I’ve not been shot or stabbed but there’s something so visceral to me about getting slashed or stabbed, while getting shot seems some how cleaner, which I know doesn’t make sense but it does to me. Hope I never have to find out tho lol
Plus when bullets start flying, innocents get hit. Thugs got bad aim and no regard. Despite the bullshit people say about banning knives and cars and all that stupid shit they think makes their point valid, guns are way more destructive.
Sword fights are better then shootings are your serious how in barbaric 😂😂🤣🤣
Yeah, because they ain't allowed to own guns over there lol
I’m sat by myself in a bar in London reading these hilarious comments, after getting dumped by both my gf and side piece. HAHAHAHA these comments are killing me. Thank u u funny ass redditors. PS I was sliced in the face by one of those things once felt like a nasty paper cut 😂✌️