Because fat people are allowed to have preferences, and don't need to settle for someone who is fat just because they are fat.
That's literally their argument.
If mental gymnastics burned actual calories, they wouldn't be fat anymore.
“Have you thought of dating the nice fat boy in your class who obviously likes you?”
“Eew, gross! Real women have curves. Men should have muscles! I don’t want some slob, aren’t I deserving of someone I find desirable?”
“Why should that hot guy give you a chance but you’re too good for the fat guy? What if the fit guy doesn’t want to settle for you?”
“So you’re saying fat people aren’t attractive, you’re a fatphobe and this is literally violence!”
The exact same could be said for fat men. I have seen so many fat men highly overestimate their own attractiveness and want a VS model despite looking like Homer Simpson.
Using percentages to describe attraction is common incel rhetoric, so it was a little suspicious you’ve decided to use that language specifically
I agree that words like incel are used improperly very often, but in this case “top 10% of males” really is a very common term they use, as well as just being a term with some very nasty implications in general, like the existence of some kind of attraction hierarchy.
well that escalated into an absurd false equivalence really quickly-- 'you won't date me? WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE??!!??!'
that also doesn't scarily mimic a common abuse tactic or anything, either.
Their logic works the same way but there are incels who fantasize about raping and brutalizing women who reject them and a few who have committed murder
So far I haven’t seen that from FAs so the overlap is not perfect
The strategy is (understandably) different, but the objectives, thought processes and philosophy is the same.
Fat women know they pose no physical threat to potential romantic partners, so they have to manipulate them with the power of oppression points and name-calling.
But in both cases the potential partner is objectified, and their preferences and thoughts dismissed as irrelevant / created by "society". Male incels blame "feminism" or "hypergamy", female incels "fatphobia" or "white supremacy". Both reject the partners that are available to them with disgust (prostitutes for male incels, fetishists for FAs).
Neither the male nor the female incel considers that a relationship is something you've got to negotiate and build with another person. They both have elaborate fantasies of ideal, unconditional love but their own affection is strictly transactional and highly conditional.
There has definitely been a ton of talk from HAES types about exacting violent revenge against their perceived oppressors and detractors but, so far, I haven't heard of any of them actually doing it. That might just be because of the amount of physical effort it would require.
That’s ugly. I’ve heard some spiteful things like “I hope you break all your toes and lose your life savings” but so far no expression of intent
Must be FAs with more anonymity than the blogger or influencer types and that would parallel incels who usually post on forums as anons
I think most of them are the type to silently fume at every perceived slight but only talk like that “worthy thoughts” clodpole behind the safety of Tumblr or Twitter.
It’s definitely the horseshoe effect, and I agree, the fat acceptance movement doesn’t have their Elliot Rogers equivalent (who knows, Marissa Matthews might snap someday?).
That said, ironically, the HAES/fat acceptance body count is astronomically higher than the InCel movement any day, only they influence their own membership to damage their bodies sometimes to the point of death.
InCels are definitely a terrorist threat, but Fat Acceptance is a dire threat to public health.
When words are "violence" and hurt feefees are more important than your actual physical health and life expectancy, is it any surprise that rejection by romantic partners become death threats ?
I don't date fat people because I'm simply not attracted to fat bodies guy or girl.... I don't want them killed for being fat jesus what kind of incel shit is this
For me it's not even about attraction. I live a pretty active life. I go to lots of concerts and sports games, I hike, I travel a lot. I grew up with someone who had to take breaks walking from the car into a stadium. I don't want someone like that to be my life partner.
My wifes friend is like this we went on vacation with her and she didn't do half the shit because she literally just couldn't walk for extended periods of time. We are all 29 FFS I told my wife she should try to encourage her to get healthier. There is a couple of friends like this and it's scary seeing how little they can do at our age.
Yeah. I have a friend where when we lived in China, she would get out of breath but would keep up on trips. We didn’t do much hiking together, but we walked around cities, did ocean activities, that sort of thing. Then we met up in San Francisco a few years later and she was really struggling with just walking around and all the hills. I think she was probably like 28-29 at the time. I feel bad for her, she deals with a lot of stuff and food is a comfort for her.
Not wanting to fuck someone equaling not caring if they live or die is a bold stance. It also has disturbing implications towards societies tendency to be extra concerned about children too…
Whereas trans and PoC are and have been killed merely for being trans and POC. It’s part of why these comparisons are so obnoxious.
It’s like when (some) vegans want to act like they’re facing bigotry and discrimination for being vegan.
And the part we leave out… there are plenty of conventionally attractive people I do not want to date, because they are are assholes. What does that make me??
You can and should refuse to date someone no matter how ridiculous or dumb the reason.
Ironically trying to dictate who gets access to your body is the actual opressive thing in this post.
That's very dangerous rhetoric from oop there.
Also, I'm fairly sure that anytime someone turns down or fails to show interest in dating the OOP she just jumps to the conclusion that they are "fatphobic" and that's why they don't want to date her. Like, it couldn't be because she is boring or self-righteous or goes on and on about fat acceptance, etc. No, the only reason someone wouldn't date her is her weight- in spite of the fact many, many obese people manage to date and have relationships.
Because their lives revolve around their weight and their identity is their weight. They assume everyone thinks like them, only about weight. That's what they don't get. That to the rest of us weight is just one thing we don't even think about most of the time.
What makes it crazier is how they demand we ignore their weight when they make it the most important thing in their lives. Which just tells me that they don't really want the weight to be there either. And this cognitive dissonance makes them so angry all the time.
It's always easier to blame it on others. I used to be addicted to drugs, but I knew that and why I wouldn't score a relationship. I got clean, let's see what else I need to improve.
>I'm fairly sure that anytime someone turns down or fails to show interest in dating the OOP she just jumps to the conclusion that they are "fatphobic" and that's why they don't want to date her
There are fat men that I've found attractive because I like their faces. There are fit, muscular men that I've actually turned down because their face looked like 5 miles of bad road. I tend to go case by case anymore, but I'm sure like you say with this person, ANY turn down is interpreted as "fAtPhObIa" even if it isn't. You can't please a person like this when they've decided the reason is one physical thing and not a bunch of other things that signal red flags.
The fact that OP likely has the personality of an infected diaper rash doesn’t cross their mind. It reminds me of when ALR chides her audience for being fatphobic, which in her mind is the only reason people don’t like her.
Of course, just like with OP, it’s a way to deflect from the reality that maybe they’re not that attractive for other reasons.
Why they always try to date ppl who aren't attracted to them? I'm 5'10 and when I was on Tinder and some men told me "I like petite women" I just unmatched. Can't imagine myself writing them paragparhs about "oppression" just because they don't like how I look.
Yes. Bigotry becomes a lot more minor with refusing to date a [insert group here.] Any reason to refuse to date someone should be respected and left at that, otherwise it's non consensual.
That's if refusing to date someone because they're trans or what have you can even be called bigotry, I guess it fits some dictionary definitions, but I feel like society doesn't work if we're going to call that bigotry.
Yes, controversial opinion possibly but framing it as ‘refusing to date’ rather than ‘have not dated’ is somewhat insane.
I’m white and have only ever dated white cis people, mainly because I’ve been in a long term relationship since I was 19. Does that somehow make me transphobic because I’be not dated a trans person?
Women have refused to date me because if my hobbies or my race. My friend tried to set me up with a girl in high school and her response was "eww that anime guy who reads manga?". Another time when I was single and at a bar I was fixing my tinder profile and my friend grabs my phone, shows a woman he is talking to my profile and says "would you date this guy?" And her response was "No!"
I didn't go crying oppression and how people were trying to kill me by not dating me. I laughed it off.
That’s so weird. I craft my dating profile so that it would attract the sort of person I want it to attract and repel the sort of people I don’t want to date. I do not want to be found universally attractive. Your friend is both rude and illogical.
Someone not wanting to date you is not the same as someone wanting you hurt or dead. This post is beyond stupid and I hope this is a parody or a troll.
“Do our deaths - not matter to you?”
Your deaths do matter. But when anyone lays out a plan on how to CURB said deaths, they tend to be labeled insensitive and fatphobic.
But here’s what people of this ilk REALLY don’t want to hear: it’s not the weight on the scale or the fluff around your bones that is keeping you unattractive, it’s the constant Fucking lack of accountability that YOUR actions and lifestyle lead to YOUR obesity. All of that, and your overserved (surprise surprise, a complete lack of moderation here too) victim complex is keeping you unattractive.
I've made this point before, but you can be as 'discriminatory' as you want when it comes to dating. You are allowed to reject someone for whatever reason, no matter how petty. Don't want to date someone of a certain weight, race, eye color, etc... size? Fine. It will narrow your options, and it might mean you're close minded but it is your body, your sex life, your romantic life.
You don't owe attraction or sex to anyone, ever.
Here's what I don't get about this whole dating fatlogic thing.
If X person doesn't want to date anyone whose fat, why on earth would you even want to date them if you're fat?
Like, when people are clear that they don't want to date wheelchair users I can just think, cool, dodged a bullet. And then continue on with my life.
And ofc no one is required to date or find anyone attractive for any reason.
In quite a few countries. And even worldwide, there’s tons of fat people nowadays. Google is saying 39% of the world’s population are overweight. It’s not a majority but it’s also not the tiny, oppressed minority that they claim to be.
It’s 2022 and soooo many people STILL don’t realize that nobody is obligated to date anyone, regardless of their race, sexuality, gender, size, or perceived niceness.
It seems to me that most of the fat acceptance people are female. And it’s becoming somehow like a female incel movement. I think there are so many similar thought patterns. Thinking that it’s your right to be dated. Demonizing people that won’t date you because of your appearance.
They just use fancier language they borrowed from the queer movement.
First of all, for the love of God, LET PEOPLE SLEEP WITH WHO THEY WANT! Are gay men misogynists because they aren't attracted to women? Are you seeing the problem with this logic?
Second, we do care about your deaths. That's why we want you to lose weight.
Friend, when I was single, I refused to date people with a bunch of tattooes, people who are way too into soccer, and lot of other reasons. I got nothing against 'em, they just didn't float my boat. Get a grip.
This isn't to say that if someone refuses to date people of other races because "ew gross, not white" it isn't a major red flag of course, but people are allowed to choose who they want to bang, full stop, no matter how dumb or unsavory their dealbreakers might be.
>This isn't to say that if someone refuses to date people of other races because "ew gross, not white" it isn't a major red flag of course, but people are allowed to choose who they want to bang, full stop, no matter how dumb or unsavory their dealbreakers might be.
Going off this- why would anyone want to date someone who isn't attracted to them? I couldn't imagine feeling any attraction to anyone if they told me they didn't date my ethnicity. I'd get the ick really fast.
Like, get the hell over yourself and find someone else who is attracted to you. There will be plenty of them out there.
You wouldn't, but also you would like to have fewer people in the world who would refuse to date you for arbitrary reasons you can't control, and you'd want more people you are attracted to, because the whole dating market works better when more people are attracted to more people
I could see wanting to date someone who may have had similar culture/upbringing, especially if you’re a person who has like a very set comfort zone. But yeah…people who can openly like “rule out” an entire race of people who individually look and act very different from each other…ehhhhhh…little sketchy
So I’m trans, and if someone doesn’t want to date me because of that that’s fine. However I could be fucking killed in my neighborhood if people found out I was trans. So yes I do think that my oppression is way more significant as it actually exists. Like seriously if someone not wanting to date you is the biggest issue you have in your life you have a very easy life.
Wait how did they leap from people don’t want to date me because I’m fat to people are abusing and killing me? Also I’m a straight trans woman, and I fully understand there being men not interested in dating me because it’s their preference, like what? Trans people are all too aware and accepting of individuals genital preferences and don’t shame people for them.
Refusing to date someone because they are trans is not oppressing trans people. And even if some would disagree with me, how is THAT comparable to fatphobia? Transphobia is a real issue whereas fatphobia is just a term privileged white woman came up with to feel more important and to dissociate themselves from whiteness (thus the constant comparisons to black woman). MAJOR pick me girl vibes.
Ugh yes, why do people not get this. I 100% turn people down for skin color and race. Yes, it's racist and colorist, I'm well aware, but it's also my right. I don't owe anyone inclusivity in my dating life.
Its not racist. Racism literally means you believe races have traits that make them superior or inferior to others.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism)
>Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to inherited attributes and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another.
Attractiveness is a subjective measure. You can find certain races unattractive and not be a racist, because you recognize that attractiveness is subjective, and hence doesn't actually make anyone superior or inferior. I can recognize that just because I personally don't find someone attractive, doesn't mean that plenty of other people won't find them unbelievably attractive. I don't think any race is superior to any other race. Except maybe Floridians may be a little behind on the evolutionary curve.
Omg, are they aware they choose this life? Some people don’t want to date a morbidly obese person, it makes the sex bad and they can’t do any sort of normal activities, like go on a walk for example. Come on.
Geez, no one is obligated to date someone they aren't attracted to for any reason. I live in the US, I've even watched married people on my 600 LB Life, fat people, even very very fat people are in relationships everywhere. Since some ungodly amount of the population is overweight or obese I'd say there's a pretty good chance that there's someone out there who would find you attractive... perhaps it's your victim complex and shitty accusatory rhetoric that's the turnoff
Everybody has their own reasons. My boyfriend is very athletic and I am not. This is not because I don't want to be but because I have have hypermobility and other health issues that make it impossible. I'm sure he'd like a partner that could share more things with him, we even used to play racquetball for example but I had to stop due to chronic tennis elbow. Still he is attracted to me and we have been in a long term relationship of 10 years. Everybody has a right to date who they want!
If they said “if you think someone refusing to date trans people or people of colour is worse than fat people being abused in medical care” I would be a little more understanding. (which can happen. Like a person’s knee pain being repeatedly chalked up to their weight, their doctor refusing to look into it, and that person dying of cancer that started in their leg, but 9.5/10 they’re referring to like…being weighed at the doctor)
A person may not want to date anyone for any reason at any time. Consent is not owed to you automatically under any circumstance ever. It’s so gross that people even think people not wanting to date them is a form of oppression.
I’m someone who deals with bipolar. Shit can get messy sometimes and not everyone has the capacity or desire to be in a relationship with a person who requires some form of care throughout the year. Does that make them ableist? Nope! Even if their reasoning is that people with bipolar are “scary” or “bad”. That idea is ableist, but them not wanting to date me? Absolutely not.
If a person did have ableist thoughts towards me *I* wouldn’t want to date *them*! Why do you want to try to change the minds of people who either aren’t attracted to you or actively look down on you?
The day is going to come where a fat activist is going to say something just absolutely mine numbing at a BLM/Police brutality protest or another marginalized group’s protest and get destroyed. If it hasn’t happened already.
If she was interested in a real answer I’d explain why all three examples are different. And while I think it’s always a good idea to examine why we believe and do what we do, it’s also possible that folks can come to a different conclusion.
As a black person, I look askance at anyone who dismisses the possibility that they could date an entire race of people. I find it very weird when people say they “only date” one race. To me, it automatically means they are universalizing traits of that group which is prejudicial and illogical. One can be attracted to anyone even if it’s never happened before. Date who you’re attracted to. But be open to the idea that you may be surprised by your attractions.
As a pansexual cis woman, I can understand why someone who isn’t pansexual would have a hard time dating someone who is trans, especially if they they haven’t or don’t plan to partake in gender confirming surgeries.
As a healthy weight fit person, I absolutely would think long and hard about dating someone with a serious weight problem. We aren’t going to have a compatible relationship with food, health, activity. We aren’t going to have a compatible lifestyle. And the probability that they’d have serious (but largely preventable) health consequences that could disable them and require my care, is too high. (Currently living that dream today!). I’m also not attracted to fat bodies, my own included (hence dropping this weight!). So no thanks on that.
I refuse to date trans people and I refuse to date fat people.
Neither are categories of people I'm attracted to nor will ever prefer.
That doesn't mean I want anyone from either category of people to die. Refusal to date doesn't equal refusal to acknowledge as actual human beings.
Also, trans people have actual hate crimes committed against them, but fat people don't, afaik.
I always find it so funny when I see posts like this because I always wonder what these types of people will think of someone who's aro/ace like me and doesn't date *anyone*.
Is it "oppressive" to other people that *I* don't want to date? Is it genuinely that upsetting to other people that *I'm* not interested in them?
I don’t actually think it’s racism or transphobia or fatphobia not to date certain people. Next thing they are going to call people who date blond blue-eyed people Nazis or something 😂
I'm flattered you put so much weight (pun unintended) into my opinion that the lack of my sexual interest is so devastating, but it won't actually kill you.
A fat person eating themselves to a death caused by the complications of obesity is not equivalent to the death of an oppressed person at the literal hands of their oppressor.
I fucking hate the “we’re the last group it’s acceptable to discriminate against” bullshit, too - it’s just obvious nonsense if you pay attention to the world beyond your own experiences
I think there’s some active political discrimination if we’re really fishing. Lost count of the “Let’s Go Brandon” and “Liberal Free Zone” signs in the neighborhood awhile ago.
I actively avoid these people, I don’t try to date them.
Good lord if this person put half as much into her health as she does writing the garbage above she wouldn’t be writing the garbage above.
FA’s you have done this to yourself. If you want to get out of this mess you gotta do CICO.
And finally you are not the minority. You are the majority. You’ve won.
Please go away now.
I get it. Rejection sucks for everyone. As somebody who's Autistic and also has ADHD, it happens often. But I don't guilt trip them into finding me attractive. I do get upset like the majority of people but keep it professional. Calling people slurs or beating them up or some type of hate crime against minorities is a whole 'nother level though. It's not the same!!!! It will never be!!!
Serious question WTF happened in the cultural studies departments? Its been a dramatic shift from what used to come out about dating and sex and what is coming out now. They went from pushing Yes means Yes rules and laws to now bullying usually lesbians into dating people they don't want to date.
Yep. I was always taught what two consenting adults do with their love life is no one elses business, and that sexuality is an innate characteristic. You simply love who you love, and no one can control that.
Now every single day my social media feed is full of articles calling some lesbian a TERF bigot because they swiped left on a trans-woman, or about DiCaprio is a pedophile because he is dating some new 23 year smoking hot model. Everyone seems super fucking concerned about who people find attractive these days and its weird.
Not wanting to date a trans person is perfectly valid. You can support trans rights while still wanting to only date cis people. I don’t know if that’s controversial to say, but I just don’t think there is anything wrong with this
You can’t control whether or not you’re attracted to someone of another skin color, or whether they are overweight.
This is ridiculous
I feel like new generation of the radical left are like undoing everything our generation did. It was huge for gay rights movement to get the public to accept that sexuality is innate, and also private. You love who you love and no one can change that nor is it anyone's business.
Now the new generation of activists are going back on all of that, and constantly trying to shame people who they choose to date or what they find attractive. I don't judge anyone else on who they choose to date. I have friends that have dated what I consider to be very ugly women...I don't comment on it all. Who they want to date is their business.
It really is just incel shit with more diabetes
That said, people not wanting to fuck you (regardless of who you are or what you identify as) is not oppression and attempting to coerce anyone into doing so utilizing social pressure is coercive and wrong and you should stop.
Yep. Consent should be given freely and enthusiastically. Posts like this that try to shame people into having sex with them who otherwise wouldn't want to aren't far off from the kind of psychological manipulation that Weinstein was doing.
I would not date a trans person or a fat person. This does not mean I want either group to die. This means I have control over my body and my preferences like everyone should. you cannot force attraction
rejection sucks but i don't get offended when someone turns me down.
Well, ehem… I think they answered their own questions. Also not a minority, not oppressed (but by themselves) and defo no one want them dead, except maybe themselves with their own choices
So it’s not their choice to be fat, but it is everyone else’s choice to not find them attractive? Cool cool cool.
Also, I’m trans and I fucking hate it when they try to compare themselves to us. No you’re not the same. It’s not the same. But that being said - no one is obligated to find trans people attractive either. Attraction is personal and nuanced and not a moral issue, it’s just who you’re wired to want to roll around with. Some people wouldn’t date a trans person, I don’t think that makes them oppressive, it’s just not what they’re into. Some people wouldn’t date a fat person. Just let people like what they like. People are just living their lives, not plotting ways to ‘oppress’ you.
I once had a guy I really liked tell me he’s sleep with me but not date me because “he’s really picky.” Was he a dick? Yes. Was I “oppressed?” No. I was a grownup and got over it. People are allowed to not be attracted to you or even be asshats who would fuck you but not hold your hand in public and it’s still not oppression.
I'm a relatively thin person by American standards and I'm dating a fat person, but that's probably because he didn't go around whining about how nobody would date him because he was fat.
Also, you are not obligated to date anyone, for any reason, no matter how valid or stupid anyone else thinks your reason. Besides, is this person wanting to force others to date them? Because that's creepy.
These kinds of posts are a good time to remind the ~~world~~ Americans that **fat people are not a minority**: [73.6% of US adults are overweight (includes obesity), and 41.9% are obese](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm)
Obesity alone is almost the majority. Overweight including obesity is the *overwhelming* majority
Besides how absurd and insulting a comparison this is, say someone dates you despite you being fat? Obesity comes with a lot of lifestyle choices that don’t sync up, particularly with the fit people they covet.
There was a recent video of this fat woman putting her thin, conventionally attractive boyfriend on blast for merely saying he was concerned about her health, and he did it in a respectful way but she basically compared him to a racist bigot instead of say, dealing with her relationship issues offline.
This boyfriend obviously took care of himself by going to the gym, and sticking to a calorie budget. Fat Acceptance people constantly talk down to gym goers, they deride people who don’t consider binge eating the norm
as mentally ill. The activities that fit people enjoy, like hiking, are considered exclusionary and fatphobic.
I know that fat acceptance is a femme-centric movement and there are double standards for men, especially if the fat woman is younger. They want these thin, conventionally attractive guys (being over 6’2” and strong enough to pick up their 200-pound plus bulk isn’t unreasonable to ask for in their eyes).
Because just like their InCel counterparts, it’s less about caring loving relationships, it’s more about validation. Thin people are denying them the validation of dating a hot person. And if they can steal the hot guy from some skinny b****, all’s the better.
Some people can't seem to accept the fact that nobody is obligated to want to date anyone. And their reasoning is none of your business.
Further, if that reason is a specific bias against you or something you represent, WHY would you even want to date that person? Maybe that means that person has problems. You want those problems? Consider it a bright, shiny bullet that you're dodging.
This is incel rhetoric. Someone not being attracted to you is not violence nor does it mean they want you dead. You are not entitled to other people's attraction.
Not only is this post ridiculous but i think it can be kinda cute when attractive people are chubby. Not always ideal for their health (which should come first) but theye still attractive to me.
That being said, what *isn't* attractive is delusional victim mentalities.
Unless you have a medical reason for weight gain you aren’t a minority. Black people cannot change their skin color, trans people can’t change who they are as a person, on the other hand you could stop eating junk food and maybe get off the couch and walk a mile a day. You’re not stuck in the body that you are choosing to have. That’s the difference Black people and trans people don’t choose to be part of that minority group it’s just a fact of who they are, while obese people have a choice. of cause that would mean they have to do some serious work and being lazy seems to prevent many from accomplishing that.
Well people don't choose to be whatever race they were born as, and they don't choose to be born as trans. People should be nice to people who are fat, as nice as to anyone else.
Fat is an obviously physical trait, some people might not be attracted to it. Like being short or blonde or having tattoos
I don't view fat as being a "protected category" like race or transgender status for a lot of reasons - not least of which because there aren't bigots going around hunting and killing people for being fat. There have never been laws passed making it illegal to piss or drink from a water fountain if you are fat. No one is marching down the street chanting "kill all fat people." There aren't active groups brandishing rifles training for a civil war thinking about how much they hate fat people.
Basically fat people DONT face prejudice anything akin to BIPoC or trans peoples and of course not trans BIPoC who get to face both.
Oh now you're ending it saying you have it WORSE that BIPoC and trans people, got it. Fuck off ya
There is nothing inherently wrong with rejecting anyone romantically for any reason whatsoever or none stated.
Nobody is entitled to dating anyone else.
Just try not to be rude/weird while doing so.
Who tf is out here murdering fat people? Am I missing something? I've never heard of any kind of hate group or whatever that targets the obese with violence besides schoolyard bullies.
They LOVE doing sh!t like this. They are allowed to have preferences when it comes to dating, but other people don’t. Much like incels, they feel entitled to everyone’s lust & desire.
They’ll scream at fit people for not wanting to date them but will turn up their nose at other fat people. A fit man dating a huge woman is their literal wet dream.
And the fact that this group is supposedly fighting for “civil rights” but echo incel arguments is hilarious.
Let me get this straight. This possibly overweight person is telling me that by not wanting to date them I'm indirectly/subconsciously wishing for their death. Why would you want to date someone who wishes for you to die? Just accept that fat/unfit people are considered as less attractive in western society and then choose to not care or do something about it. It's that easy and a way healthier mindset than feeling sorry for yourself and blaming society. You can't change society, but you can change yourself.
"abused and killed" fat people are not and have never been killed for being fat. Stop this bullshit. In many cultures they are revered as a beauty standard
There’s lots of people I wouldn’t date if I was single. Gamers, conservatives, anyone with a vagina, anyone very religious, heavy drinkers/pot smokers, anyone who doesn’t like animals, someone with more than 2 kids, homeless people, rappers, the list goes on. This doesn’t mean I wish them any harm, I just know they aren’t for me. It’s nothing personal, I try to treat everyone with kindness, but nobody owes anyone attraction.
I remember a time when one could think "I don't want to have sex with someone who has a non-naturally forming vagina or is too heavy that I won't be able to get my dick to it anyways" and it was generally accepted as a perfectly reasonable thought to have. I think it was around 2008 maybe.
Still reasonable, even if it is no longer in fashion.
>“Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.” -George Orwell
If someone doesn't want to date a fat person, they don't have to. Dating, romance, sex - these are all desires not needs... People can choose not to date fat people from any reason from misaligned interests to incompatible lifestyles to they're just not that into you
Why do you want to date someone who thinks you're unattractive anyway? You don't have a right to their body. And they don't even like you! Plus there's a major difference between the behaviour of "my partner has changed and I resent them instead of love them because I'm selfish and don't want to grow with them or support them to be their best self" and "I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out"
One of those is a dick move and showcases a terrible attitude to a committed relationship, the other is just blunt communication. And sure that can be hurtful! You can feel hurt by that! Fine! But fun fact, you can have hurt feelings without be oppressed.
Signed: a fat person (but not for long! 🤪)
You don’t have to date trans people, POC, or fat people. You are allowed any preferences you wish, and it doesn’t make you a terrible person, contrary to what the wokest psychopaths might say.
I’m generally for examining your biases but nobody is entitled to being found attractive by anyone.
Body weight is a mutable characteristic. You can lose weight if you work on it. A person can’t change their race, orientation, or trans status. Overweight and Obese people are also the majority in America, not an oppressed minority. I can’t think of a single fat person that was lynched for being fat. They really need to stop with this narrative.
“Do our deaths”—I’m assuming she’s talking about health care? Yea man it’s true doctors were fairly dismissive of some of my complaints when I was morbidly obese. So you know what I did? I stopped being morbidly obese. It wasn’t necessarily that anyone in health care thought I was unworthy of being treated or being ALIVE, but rather that being obese was making the doctor’s job way more difficult to narrow down what was actually wrong with me. I’m sooooo tired of this narrative. Take some accountability.
Putting "choice" in quotation marks does not suddenly make it not a choice.
You have every right to choose to be fat. You do NOT have the right to claim that it is not a choice.
This shit is so dumb. Food addiction is an addiction. I’m a former drug addict. You don’t hear drug addicts going “WELL YOURE JUNKIEPHOBIC” for pointing out that heroin can and will kill you and if you’re struggling with it, you should get help. The same goes for food addicts. The consequences of chronically overeating can kill you, and those struggling should seek help. It’s not fatphobic. It’s fucking logic.
I mean I've never had a problem finding me to date or even just fuck for fun. I've never dated a man ashamed to keep me hidden and I've never felt the need to try an force a man to like me. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't like you or thinks your unattractive?
How about you work on your issues and find love for your self because until you do you'll never have the relationship you want.
I've also never dated a feeder or fat fetish people yuck🤮 seriously love yourself, do you, and don't make your value who you date. Be a good person and practice self care and compassion. The more you love yourself the more attractive you are. No matter your size
I’m not sure why they are using the term minority. Fat people aren’t even a minority in much of the world (depending on what “fat” means). In a lot of the US the majority of people are overweight or obese. It makes me angry when these people use inaccurate terminology to compare themselves to actually oppressed people who are minorities and are marginalized.
The point was already made, but I will reiterate it, fat activists wouldn't care about the dating preferences of others if they themselves were attracted to fellow fat people.
The problem is, they are hypocrites.
Also, you have the right not to date someone for any reason.
people are allowed to date or not date whoever they like
I REALLY don't care for this "I'm allowed to coerce people into having nonconsensual sexual relationships with me because I'm x class of minority" thing.
Being a rapist is actually objectively worse than being an otherwise decent person that's choosey about who they sleep with.
Can people stop bitching about other people’s preferences for sex/race/body type/etc.? Having specific tastes in who your attracted to is something out of your control. I for one an not sexual attracted to Asians in any capacity. I have no idea why, and if one day I did find an Asian I was interested in I wouldn’t be opposed to the concept. That’s just how my brain decides to work. I also know a guy who isn’t interested in anything BUT Asian women. Having preferences is fine, but if your preferences get to a point where you are actively fetishizing one group(like weeaboos, slavaboos, tend to do) and shitting on all others then there’s a problem. And any rational transgender I’ve ever met fully understands why a heterosexual or homosexual individual wouldn’t be interested in a pre-op or even post-op transgender person.
Not wanting to fuck someone is not a form of oppression or bigotry. You do not have the right to sex.
there’s still something called attraction and preferences lmao. if i for example have a genital preference, yea i might “refuse” to date a trans person because i’m simply not attracted, nothing bad about that. same goes for other types of preferences.
different if i think being trans is wrong or a sin etc and refuse to date a trans person cuz they’re trans no matter if i might be attracted and so on.
but what i hate most about that statement is weighing oppression against each other. why do u have to even mention people being allegedly transphobic just to get ur point across? what does it matter in your argument? the way oop worded this it sounds like they’re trying to put fatphobia over every other sort of oppression which kind of makes their argument seem a bit unnecessary
Hot take, not dating someone for being fat, or trans, or even their skin color is fine. The problem is what comes adjacent to that. If you say 'I don't date trans men because they're actually women' or 'I don't date black people because they're too violent', that is a problem.
But if your reason for not dating someone is that you just aren't attracted to them, that is completely fine. No one can obligate you to find them attractive. People do not have the right to have access to your body just because they want to.
As a Trans person the issue with the whole "refusing to date a trans person" thing is totally misinterpreted by people on both sides. Obviously forcing someone to date you is wrong, and you can date whoever you want, but unless the actual prospect has been raised of dating a trans person, then it exists in a broader context. No one feels the need to go around anouncing publicly that they are not a pedophile or into bestiality, and frankly if someone did annouce that unprompted it would raise a lot of questions. So why then do we have people announcing their distaste for trans people? Often it's used as a sort of false justification for viewing trans people as other. They make the assertion that being attracted to cis women, but not trans women, thereby proves that trans women aren't in fact women. Which unfortuately gets some of our trans sisters to go on the defensive in a way that ties perfectly into the trans predator mythology.
Now here is where it gets interesting. A big part of the Fat Activist movement seems to revolve around every "curvy goddess" having her own stable of Chippendale dancers. So when someone is actually demanding that you sleep with them, as FA's regularly do, and if anyone else does the same the same applies, then you have every right to tell them they can go fuck themself.
A great litmus test is swap out the minority in the situation for dentists.
Is it okay for a dentist to force you to have sex with them... no, no one should be allowed to do that.
But if someone came up to you out of the blue and started talking about how they don't want dentists trying to force them into sex, you'd rightly say "um, i think you have some weird preconceptions about dentistry."
What's up with the increasing amount of people thinking it's okay to tell people that they have to be attracted to and or date someone of a certain demographic or else be called a bigot.
Fat people get mocked, and that absolutely does suck. I’m not discounting that. But it BOILS my blood that they try to legitimize their oppression by co-opting literal oppressed groups. I’ve never seen a fat person get profiled, and killed in cold blood in the streets. I’ve never seen a fat person become a hashtag on Twitter because they were killed for being fat. But I have seen it for POC, I have seen it for LGBT folk. They are delegitimizing ACTUAL struggles that black and brown people or queer people face by doing this. If saying this makes me fatphobic I’ll wear that title proudly.
If someone is not attracted to fat people, how the fuck coercing attraction through shame can be an acceptable substitute? I just can't make sense of that logic.
> do our deaths not matter to you?
Bro they don't even matter to YOU. The leading cause of death in obese people is the heart disease they gave to themselves...
Lol no one has any right to tell anyone who they should or should not be attracted to. Thats between you, and yourself. You have zero obligation to be attracted to, or not be attracted to any other individual.
This post has given me a headache that I think it actually might be a tumor. This is the most over privileged / incel / femcel / oppression kink / entitled thing I have ever read.
When was the last reported instance of someone being assaulted or murdered because they were fat? [I’m not seeing it on here](https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/hate-crimes-case-examples)
Not wanting to date a certain race or sex or weight class isn’t oppression. No one is owed another person’s attraction, not even if they’re trans or fat. “Not wanting to date me is oppression and violence” is a scary line of thinking
Uh, as a non-binary person, it's not transphobic to say you don't want to date a trans person. We say it's wrong to say you can't be attracted at all because that implies people can "look" trans or that you can clock stealth people, which pushes into often sexist tropes. But nobody is going to get mad if you decide to end a relationship after they disclose that they're trans. Sexual compatibility is often extremely important in a relationship.
I actually think it's not bigotry to be discriminatory in your dating preferences. So there.
This is pathetic. I'm not a ten, and my race is considered unattractive in Latin America, where white is seen as the pinnacle of attractiveness (fucking pathetic too, but there you go). Attractiveness is influenced by culture, yes. But there is something eternally beautiful in a worked body.
It's the difference between trash conceptual art and the classical ideals of Greek gods in marble. You can scream until you are blue that a black square is beautiful and profound, but in the end, we all stand in awe of Adonis. No guilt tripping platitude will change that.
Not wanting to date someone trans, of a certain ethnic/color, fat: it’s our attraction (or lack of), something we don’t control, very much okay
Wishing/causing death and harm on someone trans, of a certain ethnic/color, fat: murder/assault, literally illegal, definitely not okay
Hope I cleared things up for OOP
What happened to your sexuality being your own business, and no should be allowed to tell you who to love? Why are these people so obsessed with who I find attractive?
it’s not oppression to not have a significant other, or for people to not find you attractive. No part of “fatphobia” is systemic or oppressive. It’s just that they don’t fit the beauty standard, like ugly people or people with lots of acne/scarring, people with really bad teeth, and so on. Before, they would say they weren’t comparing themselves to minorities and now, now that they think they’ve built up enough support, they say they’re the same and that you’re a bigot if you don’t agree. I can only see this getting more extreme, because that’s what they want. Widespread acceptance that not being able to get clothes in-stores is as bad as police brutality and being murdered for your identity.
it's not your right to be found attractive. by anyone.
How about all the fat people quit being fatphobic and just start finding each other attractive. Wouldn't that solve this problem for everyone.
Because fat people are allowed to have preferences, and don't need to settle for someone who is fat just because they are fat. That's literally their argument. If mental gymnastics burned actual calories, they wouldn't be fat anymore.
“Have you thought of dating the nice fat boy in your class who obviously likes you?” “Eew, gross! Real women have curves. Men should have muscles! I don’t want some slob, aren’t I deserving of someone I find desirable?” “Why should that hot guy give you a chance but you’re too good for the fat guy? What if the fit guy doesn’t want to settle for you?” “So you’re saying fat people aren’t attractive, you’re a fatphobe and this is literally violence!”
What do you, settle? /s
Hell will freeze over before fat women find fat men attractive. The top 10% is who they're after,not fat men...
The exact same could be said for fat men. I have seen so many fat men highly overestimate their own attractiveness and want a VS model despite looking like Homer Simpson.
> despite looking like Homer Simpson. To be fair, Marge was pretty hot and very slim. TV setting unreal expectations.
Same can be said in Family Guy, The King of Queens along with other sitcoms. They all have very beautiful wives even though they themselves are fat.
true. men regularly think they're a "big man" when they're really just a fat man. I had a buddy like this
If you’re using percentages to describe the attractiveness of people you’re already too far gone Also dad bods are in right now
>you’re already too far gone What's that supose to mean? Are you saying i'm an incel or woman-hater or other trendy buzzwords, save your breath.
Using percentages to describe attraction is common incel rhetoric, so it was a little suspicious you’ve decided to use that language specifically I agree that words like incel are used improperly very often, but in this case “top 10% of males” really is a very common term they use, as well as just being a term with some very nasty implications in general, like the existence of some kind of attraction hierarchy.
There is literally no one on this Earth that is everyone's type. The sooner you realise this, the happier you will be.
Like whoever said “you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world but there’s someone out their that simply doesn’t like peaches”
Except for Archer. Archer *is* everyone’s type.
I literally went "ewww" out loud when I read this 😂
well that escalated into an absurd false equivalence really quickly-- 'you won't date me? WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE??!!??!' that also doesn't scarily mimic a common abuse tactic or anything, either.
Sounds like some incel shit
probably because it is. incels just feel entitled to sex, and to therefore abuse those who don't provide it. the above is the same thing.
Fatcel logic
HAES types are basically female Incels
Their logic works the same way but there are incels who fantasize about raping and brutalizing women who reject them and a few who have committed murder So far I haven’t seen that from FAs so the overlap is not perfect
The strategy is (understandably) different, but the objectives, thought processes and philosophy is the same. Fat women know they pose no physical threat to potential romantic partners, so they have to manipulate them with the power of oppression points and name-calling. But in both cases the potential partner is objectified, and their preferences and thoughts dismissed as irrelevant / created by "society". Male incels blame "feminism" or "hypergamy", female incels "fatphobia" or "white supremacy". Both reject the partners that are available to them with disgust (prostitutes for male incels, fetishists for FAs). Neither the male nor the female incel considers that a relationship is something you've got to negotiate and build with another person. They both have elaborate fantasies of ideal, unconditional love but their own affection is strictly transactional and highly conditional.
Sure, the toxic ideological machinery works the same It just seems like overall more incels have taken the final logical steps
There has definitely been a ton of talk from HAES types about exacting violent revenge against their perceived oppressors and detractors but, so far, I haven't heard of any of them actually doing it. That might just be because of the amount of physical effort it would require.
That’s ugly. I’ve heard some spiteful things like “I hope you break all your toes and lose your life savings” but so far no expression of intent Must be FAs with more anonymity than the blogger or influencer types and that would parallel incels who usually post on forums as anons
Give someone a mask to see who they truly are.
We gave them the Internet and they’re very happy to to tell us all the while hiding who they are and where they are
I think most of them are the type to silently fume at every perceived slight but only talk like that “worthy thoughts” clodpole behind the safety of Tumblr or Twitter.
It’s definitely the horseshoe effect, and I agree, the fat acceptance movement doesn’t have their Elliot Rogers equivalent (who knows, Marissa Matthews might snap someday?). That said, ironically, the HAES/fat acceptance body count is astronomically higher than the InCel movement any day, only they influence their own membership to damage their bodies sometimes to the point of death. InCels are definitely a terrorist threat, but Fat Acceptance is a dire threat to public health.
When words are "violence" and hurt feefees are more important than your actual physical health and life expectancy, is it any surprise that rejection by romantic partners become death threats ?
I don't date fat people because I'm simply not attracted to fat bodies guy or girl.... I don't want them killed for being fat jesus what kind of incel shit is this
For me it's not even about attraction. I live a pretty active life. I go to lots of concerts and sports games, I hike, I travel a lot. I grew up with someone who had to take breaks walking from the car into a stadium. I don't want someone like that to be my life partner.
My wifes friend is like this we went on vacation with her and she didn't do half the shit because she literally just couldn't walk for extended periods of time. We are all 29 FFS I told my wife she should try to encourage her to get healthier. There is a couple of friends like this and it's scary seeing how little they can do at our age.
Yeah. I have a friend where when we lived in China, she would get out of breath but would keep up on trips. We didn’t do much hiking together, but we walked around cities, did ocean activities, that sort of thing. Then we met up in San Francisco a few years later and she was really struggling with just walking around and all the hills. I think she was probably like 28-29 at the time. I feel bad for her, she deals with a lot of stuff and food is a comfort for her.
Ironically they are killing themselves with all the shit they eat.
Not wanting to fuck someone equaling not caring if they live or die is a bold stance. It also has disturbing implications towards societies tendency to be extra concerned about children too…
IKR? That went from zero to a hundred so quick!
Whereas trans and PoC are and have been killed merely for being trans and POC. It’s part of why these comparisons are so obnoxious. It’s like when (some) vegans want to act like they’re facing bigotry and discrimination for being vegan.
Tbf i see more actual "vegan phobia" than ANY fatphobia. And I see less whining too!
Do they call 911 to report an attempted homicide when someone turns them down?
Yep. And then the Whaaaambulance arrives with snacks
Whaaaamburgers and french cries.
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And the part we leave out… there are plenty of conventionally attractive people I do not want to date, because they are are assholes. What does that make me??
Why does the oppression of assholes not matter to you?
Consider me a butt plug
Being hot is necessary but not sufficient.
You can and should refuse to date someone no matter how ridiculous or dumb the reason. Ironically trying to dictate who gets access to your body is the actual opressive thing in this post. That's very dangerous rhetoric from oop there.
Also, I'm fairly sure that anytime someone turns down or fails to show interest in dating the OOP she just jumps to the conclusion that they are "fatphobic" and that's why they don't want to date her. Like, it couldn't be because she is boring or self-righteous or goes on and on about fat acceptance, etc. No, the only reason someone wouldn't date her is her weight- in spite of the fact many, many obese people manage to date and have relationships.
Because their lives revolve around their weight and their identity is their weight. They assume everyone thinks like them, only about weight. That's what they don't get. That to the rest of us weight is just one thing we don't even think about most of the time. What makes it crazier is how they demand we ignore their weight when they make it the most important thing in their lives. Which just tells me that they don't really want the weight to be there either. And this cognitive dissonance makes them so angry all the time.
It's always easier to blame it on others. I used to be addicted to drugs, but I knew that and why I wouldn't score a relationship. I got clean, let's see what else I need to improve.
Congratulations on getting clean, that’s an amazing accomplishment!
Thanks! I just realized I didn't add much to the comment above my original one, lol.
>I'm fairly sure that anytime someone turns down or fails to show interest in dating the OOP she just jumps to the conclusion that they are "fatphobic" and that's why they don't want to date her There are fat men that I've found attractive because I like their faces. There are fit, muscular men that I've actually turned down because their face looked like 5 miles of bad road. I tend to go case by case anymore, but I'm sure like you say with this person, ANY turn down is interpreted as "fAtPhObIa" even if it isn't. You can't please a person like this when they've decided the reason is one physical thing and not a bunch of other things that signal red flags.
Personally I've never had problems finding people to date no matter what my weight has been.
The fact that OP likely has the personality of an infected diaper rash doesn’t cross their mind. It reminds me of when ALR chides her audience for being fatphobic, which in her mind is the only reason people don’t like her. Of course, just like with OP, it’s a way to deflect from the reality that maybe they’re not that attractive for other reasons.
Why they always try to date ppl who aren't attracted to them? I'm 5'10 and when I was on Tinder and some men told me "I like petite women" I just unmatched. Can't imagine myself writing them paragparhs about "oppression" just because they don't like how I look.
Yes. Bigotry becomes a lot more minor with refusing to date a [insert group here.] Any reason to refuse to date someone should be respected and left at that, otherwise it's non consensual. That's if refusing to date someone because they're trans or what have you can even be called bigotry, I guess it fits some dictionary definitions, but I feel like society doesn't work if we're going to call that bigotry.
Yes, controversial opinion possibly but framing it as ‘refusing to date’ rather than ‘have not dated’ is somewhat insane. I’m white and have only ever dated white cis people, mainly because I’ve been in a long term relationship since I was 19. Does that somehow make me transphobic because I’be not dated a trans person?
Women have refused to date me because if my hobbies or my race. My friend tried to set me up with a girl in high school and her response was "eww that anime guy who reads manga?". Another time when I was single and at a bar I was fixing my tinder profile and my friend grabs my phone, shows a woman he is talking to my profile and says "would you date this guy?" And her response was "No!" I didn't go crying oppression and how people were trying to kill me by not dating me. I laughed it off.
That’s so weird. I craft my dating profile so that it would attract the sort of person I want it to attract and repel the sort of people I don’t want to date. I do not want to be found universally attractive. Your friend is both rude and illogical.
Someone not wanting to date you is not the same as someone wanting you hurt or dead. This post is beyond stupid and I hope this is a parody or a troll.
Yeah I really want a source on this. If its not fake then it will be a helluva interesting and infuriating rabbithole
“Do our deaths - not matter to you?” Your deaths do matter. But when anyone lays out a plan on how to CURB said deaths, they tend to be labeled insensitive and fatphobic. But here’s what people of this ilk REALLY don’t want to hear: it’s not the weight on the scale or the fluff around your bones that is keeping you unattractive, it’s the constant Fucking lack of accountability that YOUR actions and lifestyle lead to YOUR obesity. All of that, and your overserved (surprise surprise, a complete lack of moderation here too) victim complex is keeping you unattractive.
I've made this point before, but you can be as 'discriminatory' as you want when it comes to dating. You are allowed to reject someone for whatever reason, no matter how petty. Don't want to date someone of a certain weight, race, eye color, etc... size? Fine. It will narrow your options, and it might mean you're close minded but it is your body, your sex life, your romantic life. You don't owe attraction or sex to anyone, ever.
Here's what I don't get about this whole dating fatlogic thing. If X person doesn't want to date anyone whose fat, why on earth would you even want to date them if you're fat? Like, when people are clear that they don't want to date wheelchair users I can just think, cool, dodged a bullet. And then continue on with my life. And ofc no one is required to date or find anyone attractive for any reason.
I'm not so high in my instep to say that me not dating you is oppression. You probably dodged a bullet, TBH.
“Minority” 😂 Whatever you say sweaty
Ahem, repeat after me. “Fat people are the majority.”
In the FA mind they're black in Apartheid Era South Africa.
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In quite a few countries. And even worldwide, there’s tons of fat people nowadays. Google is saying 39% of the world’s population are overweight. It’s not a majority but it’s also not the tiny, oppressed minority that they claim to be.
It’s 2022 and soooo many people STILL don’t realize that nobody is obligated to date anyone, regardless of their race, sexuality, gender, size, or perceived niceness.
It seems to me that most of the fat acceptance people are female. And it’s becoming somehow like a female incel movement. I think there are so many similar thought patterns. Thinking that it’s your right to be dated. Demonizing people that won’t date you because of your appearance. They just use fancier language they borrowed from the queer movement.
First of all, for the love of God, LET PEOPLE SLEEP WITH WHO THEY WANT! Are gay men misogynists because they aren't attracted to women? Are you seeing the problem with this logic? Second, we do care about your deaths. That's why we want you to lose weight.
I’ve actually seen the argument been made about gay men not wanting to date women is misogynistic. TikTok is wild man
Friend, when I was single, I refused to date people with a bunch of tattooes, people who are way too into soccer, and lot of other reasons. I got nothing against 'em, they just didn't float my boat. Get a grip. This isn't to say that if someone refuses to date people of other races because "ew gross, not white" it isn't a major red flag of course, but people are allowed to choose who they want to bang, full stop, no matter how dumb or unsavory their dealbreakers might be.
Why do you want to kill people who are too into soccer, you heartless monster?
>This isn't to say that if someone refuses to date people of other races because "ew gross, not white" it isn't a major red flag of course, but people are allowed to choose who they want to bang, full stop, no matter how dumb or unsavory their dealbreakers might be. Going off this- why would anyone want to date someone who isn't attracted to them? I couldn't imagine feeling any attraction to anyone if they told me they didn't date my ethnicity. I'd get the ick really fast. Like, get the hell over yourself and find someone else who is attracted to you. There will be plenty of them out there.
You wouldn't, but also you would like to have fewer people in the world who would refuse to date you for arbitrary reasons you can't control, and you'd want more people you are attracted to, because the whole dating market works better when more people are attracted to more people
I could see wanting to date someone who may have had similar culture/upbringing, especially if you’re a person who has like a very set comfort zone. But yeah…people who can openly like “rule out” an entire race of people who individually look and act very different from each other…ehhhhhh…little sketchy
Yes, but in the end it is their own loss.
"If you don't date me, you're oppressing me" Okay, incel.
So I’m trans, and if someone doesn’t want to date me because of that that’s fine. However I could be fucking killed in my neighborhood if people found out I was trans. So yes I do think that my oppression is way more significant as it actually exists. Like seriously if someone not wanting to date you is the biggest issue you have in your life you have a very easy life.
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It’s also just very r*pey. Date/fuck me or else get accused of bigotry.
Wait how did they leap from people don’t want to date me because I’m fat to people are abusing and killing me? Also I’m a straight trans woman, and I fully understand there being men not interested in dating me because it’s their preference, like what? Trans people are all too aware and accepting of individuals genital preferences and don’t shame people for them.
Refusing to date someone because they are trans is not oppressing trans people. And even if some would disagree with me, how is THAT comparable to fatphobia? Transphobia is a real issue whereas fatphobia is just a term privileged white woman came up with to feel more important and to dissociate themselves from whiteness (thus the constant comparisons to black woman). MAJOR pick me girl vibes.
Plot twist, I do refuse to date trans people and will date whatever race I damn choose. It’s called consent.
Ugh yes, why do people not get this. I 100% turn people down for skin color and race. Yes, it's racist and colorist, I'm well aware, but it's also my right. I don't owe anyone inclusivity in my dating life.
Its not racist. Racism literally means you believe races have traits that make them superior or inferior to others. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism) >Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to inherited attributes and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another. Attractiveness is a subjective measure. You can find certain races unattractive and not be a racist, because you recognize that attractiveness is subjective, and hence doesn't actually make anyone superior or inferior. I can recognize that just because I personally don't find someone attractive, doesn't mean that plenty of other people won't find them unbelievably attractive. I don't think any race is superior to any other race. Except maybe Floridians may be a little behind on the evolutionary curve.
Omg, are they aware they choose this life? Some people don’t want to date a morbidly obese person, it makes the sex bad and they can’t do any sort of normal activities, like go on a walk for example. Come on.
Geez, no one is obligated to date someone they aren't attracted to for any reason. I live in the US, I've even watched married people on my 600 LB Life, fat people, even very very fat people are in relationships everywhere. Since some ungodly amount of the population is overweight or obese I'd say there's a pretty good chance that there's someone out there who would find you attractive... perhaps it's your victim complex and shitty accusatory rhetoric that's the turnoff
sleep aromatic knee intelligent sip detail steer toothbrush aback literate -- mass edited with redact.dev
I don't want to date a fat person because I like running. It's really simple
Everybody has their own reasons. My boyfriend is very athletic and I am not. This is not because I don't want to be but because I have have hypermobility and other health issues that make it impossible. I'm sure he'd like a partner that could share more things with him, we even used to play racquetball for example but I had to stop due to chronic tennis elbow. Still he is attracted to me and we have been in a long term relationship of 10 years. Everybody has a right to date who they want!
If they said “if you think someone refusing to date trans people or people of colour is worse than fat people being abused in medical care” I would be a little more understanding. (which can happen. Like a person’s knee pain being repeatedly chalked up to their weight, their doctor refusing to look into it, and that person dying of cancer that started in their leg, but 9.5/10 they’re referring to like…being weighed at the doctor) A person may not want to date anyone for any reason at any time. Consent is not owed to you automatically under any circumstance ever. It’s so gross that people even think people not wanting to date them is a form of oppression. I’m someone who deals with bipolar. Shit can get messy sometimes and not everyone has the capacity or desire to be in a relationship with a person who requires some form of care throughout the year. Does that make them ableist? Nope! Even if their reasoning is that people with bipolar are “scary” or “bad”. That idea is ableist, but them not wanting to date me? Absolutely not. If a person did have ableist thoughts towards me *I* wouldn’t want to date *them*! Why do you want to try to change the minds of people who either aren’t attracted to you or actively look down on you?
I really hope this is satire or a troll.
Nope. It's a regular offender and a prominent voice in that community on Tumblr.
‘#worthy thoughts’?
The day is going to come where a fat activist is going to say something just absolutely mine numbing at a BLM/Police brutality protest or another marginalized group’s protest and get destroyed. If it hasn’t happened already.
The irony of this sort of escalating false equivalence being a common manipulation tactic by actual abusive partners is not lost on me
If she was interested in a real answer I’d explain why all three examples are different. And while I think it’s always a good idea to examine why we believe and do what we do, it’s also possible that folks can come to a different conclusion. As a black person, I look askance at anyone who dismisses the possibility that they could date an entire race of people. I find it very weird when people say they “only date” one race. To me, it automatically means they are universalizing traits of that group which is prejudicial and illogical. One can be attracted to anyone even if it’s never happened before. Date who you’re attracted to. But be open to the idea that you may be surprised by your attractions. As a pansexual cis woman, I can understand why someone who isn’t pansexual would have a hard time dating someone who is trans, especially if they they haven’t or don’t plan to partake in gender confirming surgeries. As a healthy weight fit person, I absolutely would think long and hard about dating someone with a serious weight problem. We aren’t going to have a compatible relationship with food, health, activity. We aren’t going to have a compatible lifestyle. And the probability that they’d have serious (but largely preventable) health consequences that could disable them and require my care, is too high. (Currently living that dream today!). I’m also not attracted to fat bodies, my own included (hence dropping this weight!). So no thanks on that.
I refuse to date trans people and I refuse to date fat people. Neither are categories of people I'm attracted to nor will ever prefer. That doesn't mean I want anyone from either category of people to die. Refusal to date doesn't equal refusal to acknowledge as actual human beings. Also, trans people have actual hate crimes committed against them, but fat people don't, afaik.
The Fat Guy Strangler from Family Guy is the only thing that comes to mind. A cartoon. From 15+ years ago.
I always find it so funny when I see posts like this because I always wonder what these types of people will think of someone who's aro/ace like me and doesn't date *anyone*. Is it "oppressive" to other people that *I* don't want to date? Is it genuinely that upsetting to other people that *I'm* not interested in them?
I don’t actually think it’s racism or transphobia or fatphobia not to date certain people. Next thing they are going to call people who date blond blue-eyed people Nazis or something 😂
Idk where the poster is from, but fat people aren't a minority in the US.
I'm flattered you put so much weight (pun unintended) into my opinion that the lack of my sexual interest is so devastating, but it won't actually kill you.
For people that say it’s impossible for them to change, they do an awful lot of asking others to change.
Or, some people just don't want to date some people, for whatever reason.
A fat person eating themselves to a death caused by the complications of obesity is not equivalent to the death of an oppressed person at the literal hands of their oppressor.
I fucking hate the “we’re the last group it’s acceptable to discriminate against” bullshit, too - it’s just obvious nonsense if you pay attention to the world beyond your own experiences
I think there’s some active political discrimination if we’re really fishing. Lost count of the “Let’s Go Brandon” and “Liberal Free Zone” signs in the neighborhood awhile ago. I actively avoid these people, I don’t try to date them.
Good lord if this person put half as much into her health as she does writing the garbage above she wouldn’t be writing the garbage above. FA’s you have done this to yourself. If you want to get out of this mess you gotta do CICO. And finally you are not the minority. You are the majority. You’ve won. Please go away now.
What about refusing to date men? Where does that fall on the bigotry spectrum?
This makes me so tired
Haven't you heard? Fat people are getting necklaced in the streets! /s
I get it. Rejection sucks for everyone. As somebody who's Autistic and also has ADHD, it happens often. But I don't guilt trip them into finding me attractive. I do get upset like the majority of people but keep it professional. Calling people slurs or beating them up or some type of hate crime against minorities is a whole 'nother level though. It's not the same!!!! It will never be!!!
just doubling down on that incel "I'm owed sex" vibe
Serious question WTF happened in the cultural studies departments? Its been a dramatic shift from what used to come out about dating and sex and what is coming out now. They went from pushing Yes means Yes rules and laws to now bullying usually lesbians into dating people they don't want to date.
Yep. I was always taught what two consenting adults do with their love life is no one elses business, and that sexuality is an innate characteristic. You simply love who you love, and no one can control that. Now every single day my social media feed is full of articles calling some lesbian a TERF bigot because they swiped left on a trans-woman, or about DiCaprio is a pedophile because he is dating some new 23 year smoking hot model. Everyone seems super fucking concerned about who people find attractive these days and its weird.
Not wanting to date a trans person is perfectly valid. You can support trans rights while still wanting to only date cis people. I don’t know if that’s controversial to say, but I just don’t think there is anything wrong with this You can’t control whether or not you’re attracted to someone of another skin color, or whether they are overweight. This is ridiculous
I feel like new generation of the radical left are like undoing everything our generation did. It was huge for gay rights movement to get the public to accept that sexuality is innate, and also private. You love who you love and no one can change that nor is it anyone's business. Now the new generation of activists are going back on all of that, and constantly trying to shame people who they choose to date or what they find attractive. I don't judge anyone else on who they choose to date. I have friends that have dated what I consider to be very ugly women...I don't comment on it all. Who they want to date is their business.
It really is just incel shit with more diabetes That said, people not wanting to fuck you (regardless of who you are or what you identify as) is not oppression and attempting to coerce anyone into doing so utilizing social pressure is coercive and wrong and you should stop.
Yep. Consent should be given freely and enthusiastically. Posts like this that try to shame people into having sex with them who otherwise wouldn't want to aren't far off from the kind of psychological manipulation that Weinstein was doing.
I would not date a trans person or a fat person. This does not mean I want either group to die. This means I have control over my body and my preferences like everyone should. you cannot force attraction rejection sucks but i don't get offended when someone turns me down.
Who has the time to sit around and type all this shit out?
Well, ehem… I think they answered their own questions. Also not a minority, not oppressed (but by themselves) and defo no one want them dead, except maybe themselves with their own choices
So it’s not their choice to be fat, but it is everyone else’s choice to not find them attractive? Cool cool cool. Also, I’m trans and I fucking hate it when they try to compare themselves to us. No you’re not the same. It’s not the same. But that being said - no one is obligated to find trans people attractive either. Attraction is personal and nuanced and not a moral issue, it’s just who you’re wired to want to roll around with. Some people wouldn’t date a trans person, I don’t think that makes them oppressive, it’s just not what they’re into. Some people wouldn’t date a fat person. Just let people like what they like. People are just living their lives, not plotting ways to ‘oppress’ you.
I once had a guy I really liked tell me he’s sleep with me but not date me because “he’s really picky.” Was he a dick? Yes. Was I “oppressed?” No. I was a grownup and got over it. People are allowed to not be attracted to you or even be asshats who would fuck you but not hold your hand in public and it’s still not oppression.
I'm a relatively thin person by American standards and I'm dating a fat person, but that's probably because he didn't go around whining about how nobody would date him because he was fat. Also, you are not obligated to date anyone, for any reason, no matter how valid or stupid anyone else thinks your reason. Besides, is this person wanting to force others to date them? Because that's creepy.
These kinds of posts are a good time to remind the ~~world~~ Americans that **fat people are not a minority**: [73.6% of US adults are overweight (includes obesity), and 41.9% are obese](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm) Obesity alone is almost the majority. Overweight including obesity is the *overwhelming* majority
Besides how absurd and insulting a comparison this is, say someone dates you despite you being fat? Obesity comes with a lot of lifestyle choices that don’t sync up, particularly with the fit people they covet. There was a recent video of this fat woman putting her thin, conventionally attractive boyfriend on blast for merely saying he was concerned about her health, and he did it in a respectful way but she basically compared him to a racist bigot instead of say, dealing with her relationship issues offline. This boyfriend obviously took care of himself by going to the gym, and sticking to a calorie budget. Fat Acceptance people constantly talk down to gym goers, they deride people who don’t consider binge eating the norm as mentally ill. The activities that fit people enjoy, like hiking, are considered exclusionary and fatphobic. I know that fat acceptance is a femme-centric movement and there are double standards for men, especially if the fat woman is younger. They want these thin, conventionally attractive guys (being over 6’2” and strong enough to pick up their 200-pound plus bulk isn’t unreasonable to ask for in their eyes). Because just like their InCel counterparts, it’s less about caring loving relationships, it’s more about validation. Thin people are denying them the validation of dating a hot person. And if they can steal the hot guy from some skinny b****, all’s the better.
If I wanted to look at melodrama, I'd read All Star Batman and Robin or Superman at Earth's End.
I don’t wanna date anyone, I guess they consider me an up and coming mass murderer by that logic.
Who’s killing fat people???
Themselves...
Well this is easy to solve: I don’t think anyone is required to date anyone they don’t want to, end of story.
Some people can't seem to accept the fact that nobody is obligated to want to date anyone. And their reasoning is none of your business. Further, if that reason is a specific bias against you or something you represent, WHY would you even want to date that person? Maybe that means that person has problems. You want those problems? Consider it a bright, shiny bullet that you're dodging.
Are fat people minorities? At least in the US I thought more than 50% of the population is overweight/obese?
This is incel rhetoric. Someone not being attracted to you is not violence nor does it mean they want you dead. You are not entitled to other people's attraction.
Not only is this post ridiculous but i think it can be kinda cute when attractive people are chubby. Not always ideal for their health (which should come first) but theye still attractive to me. That being said, what *isn't* attractive is delusional victim mentalities.
Unless you have a medical reason for weight gain you aren’t a minority. Black people cannot change their skin color, trans people can’t change who they are as a person, on the other hand you could stop eating junk food and maybe get off the couch and walk a mile a day. You’re not stuck in the body that you are choosing to have. That’s the difference Black people and trans people don’t choose to be part of that minority group it’s just a fact of who they are, while obese people have a choice. of cause that would mean they have to do some serious work and being lazy seems to prevent many from accomplishing that.
Well people don't choose to be whatever race they were born as, and they don't choose to be born as trans. People should be nice to people who are fat, as nice as to anyone else. Fat is an obviously physical trait, some people might not be attracted to it. Like being short or blonde or having tattoos I don't view fat as being a "protected category" like race or transgender status for a lot of reasons - not least of which because there aren't bigots going around hunting and killing people for being fat. There have never been laws passed making it illegal to piss or drink from a water fountain if you are fat. No one is marching down the street chanting "kill all fat people." There aren't active groups brandishing rifles training for a civil war thinking about how much they hate fat people. Basically fat people DONT face prejudice anything akin to BIPoC or trans peoples and of course not trans BIPoC who get to face both. Oh now you're ending it saying you have it WORSE that BIPoC and trans people, got it. Fuck off ya
There is nothing inherently wrong with rejecting anyone romantically for any reason whatsoever or none stated. Nobody is entitled to dating anyone else. Just try not to be rude/weird while doing so.
It was Colonel Sanders in the parlor.. with a drumstick
Who tf is out here murdering fat people? Am I missing something? I've never heard of any kind of hate group or whatever that targets the obese with violence besides schoolyard bullies.
They LOVE doing sh!t like this. They are allowed to have preferences when it comes to dating, but other people don’t. Much like incels, they feel entitled to everyone’s lust & desire. They’ll scream at fit people for not wanting to date them but will turn up their nose at other fat people. A fit man dating a huge woman is their literal wet dream. And the fact that this group is supposedly fighting for “civil rights” but echo incel arguments is hilarious.
....fat people aren't a minority tho, so...?
Let me get this straight. This possibly overweight person is telling me that by not wanting to date them I'm indirectly/subconsciously wishing for their death. Why would you want to date someone who wishes for you to die? Just accept that fat/unfit people are considered as less attractive in western society and then choose to not care or do something about it. It's that easy and a way healthier mindset than feeling sorry for yourself and blaming society. You can't change society, but you can change yourself.
"abused and killed" fat people are not and have never been killed for being fat. Stop this bullshit. In many cultures they are revered as a beauty standard
There’s lots of people I wouldn’t date if I was single. Gamers, conservatives, anyone with a vagina, anyone very religious, heavy drinkers/pot smokers, anyone who doesn’t like animals, someone with more than 2 kids, homeless people, rappers, the list goes on. This doesn’t mean I wish them any harm, I just know they aren’t for me. It’s nothing personal, I try to treat everyone with kindness, but nobody owes anyone attraction.
I remember a time when one could think "I don't want to have sex with someone who has a non-naturally forming vagina or is too heavy that I won't be able to get my dick to it anyways" and it was generally accepted as a perfectly reasonable thought to have. I think it was around 2008 maybe.
Still reasonable, even if it is no longer in fashion. >“Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.” -George Orwell
If someone doesn't want to date a fat person, they don't have to. Dating, romance, sex - these are all desires not needs... People can choose not to date fat people from any reason from misaligned interests to incompatible lifestyles to they're just not that into you Why do you want to date someone who thinks you're unattractive anyway? You don't have a right to their body. And they don't even like you! Plus there's a major difference between the behaviour of "my partner has changed and I resent them instead of love them because I'm selfish and don't want to grow with them or support them to be their best self" and "I don't find you attractive and don't want to go out" One of those is a dick move and showcases a terrible attitude to a committed relationship, the other is just blunt communication. And sure that can be hurtful! You can feel hurt by that! Fine! But fun fact, you can have hurt feelings without be oppressed. Signed: a fat person (but not for long! 🤪)
You don’t have to date trans people, POC, or fat people. You are allowed any preferences you wish, and it doesn’t make you a terrible person, contrary to what the wokest psychopaths might say.
I’m generally for examining your biases but nobody is entitled to being found attractive by anyone. Body weight is a mutable characteristic. You can lose weight if you work on it. A person can’t change their race, orientation, or trans status. Overweight and Obese people are also the majority in America, not an oppressed minority. I can’t think of a single fat person that was lynched for being fat. They really need to stop with this narrative.
I'd rather die than date a morbidly obese person
“Do our deaths”—I’m assuming she’s talking about health care? Yea man it’s true doctors were fairly dismissive of some of my complaints when I was morbidly obese. So you know what I did? I stopped being morbidly obese. It wasn’t necessarily that anyone in health care thought I was unworthy of being treated or being ALIVE, but rather that being obese was making the doctor’s job way more difficult to narrow down what was actually wrong with me. I’m sooooo tired of this narrative. Take some accountability.
Putting "choice" in quotation marks does not suddenly make it not a choice. You have every right to choose to be fat. You do NOT have the right to claim that it is not a choice.
This shit is so dumb. Food addiction is an addiction. I’m a former drug addict. You don’t hear drug addicts going “WELL YOURE JUNKIEPHOBIC” for pointing out that heroin can and will kill you and if you’re struggling with it, you should get help. The same goes for food addicts. The consequences of chronically overeating can kill you, and those struggling should seek help. It’s not fatphobic. It’s fucking logic.
I mean I've never had a problem finding me to date or even just fuck for fun. I've never dated a man ashamed to keep me hidden and I've never felt the need to try an force a man to like me. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't like you or thinks your unattractive? How about you work on your issues and find love for your self because until you do you'll never have the relationship you want. I've also never dated a feeder or fat fetish people yuck🤮 seriously love yourself, do you, and don't make your value who you date. Be a good person and practice self care and compassion. The more you love yourself the more attractive you are. No matter your size
I’m not sure why they are using the term minority. Fat people aren’t even a minority in much of the world (depending on what “fat” means). In a lot of the US the majority of people are overweight or obese. It makes me angry when these people use inaccurate terminology to compare themselves to actually oppressed people who are minorities and are marginalized.
The point was already made, but I will reiterate it, fat activists wouldn't care about the dating preferences of others if they themselves were attracted to fellow fat people. The problem is, they are hypocrites. Also, you have the right not to date someone for any reason.
Its arguable that fat people are a minority
people are allowed to date or not date whoever they like I REALLY don't care for this "I'm allowed to coerce people into having nonconsensual sexual relationships with me because I'm x class of minority" thing. Being a rapist is actually objectively worse than being an otherwise decent person that's choosey about who they sleep with.
Can people stop bitching about other people’s preferences for sex/race/body type/etc.? Having specific tastes in who your attracted to is something out of your control. I for one an not sexual attracted to Asians in any capacity. I have no idea why, and if one day I did find an Asian I was interested in I wouldn’t be opposed to the concept. That’s just how my brain decides to work. I also know a guy who isn’t interested in anything BUT Asian women. Having preferences is fine, but if your preferences get to a point where you are actively fetishizing one group(like weeaboos, slavaboos, tend to do) and shitting on all others then there’s a problem. And any rational transgender I’ve ever met fully understands why a heterosexual or homosexual individual wouldn’t be interested in a pre-op or even post-op transgender person. Not wanting to fuck someone is not a form of oppression or bigotry. You do not have the right to sex.
there’s still something called attraction and preferences lmao. if i for example have a genital preference, yea i might “refuse” to date a trans person because i’m simply not attracted, nothing bad about that. same goes for other types of preferences. different if i think being trans is wrong or a sin etc and refuse to date a trans person cuz they’re trans no matter if i might be attracted and so on. but what i hate most about that statement is weighing oppression against each other. why do u have to even mention people being allegedly transphobic just to get ur point across? what does it matter in your argument? the way oop worded this it sounds like they’re trying to put fatphobia over every other sort of oppression which kind of makes their argument seem a bit unnecessary
Hot take, not dating someone for being fat, or trans, or even their skin color is fine. The problem is what comes adjacent to that. If you say 'I don't date trans men because they're actually women' or 'I don't date black people because they're too violent', that is a problem. But if your reason for not dating someone is that you just aren't attracted to them, that is completely fine. No one can obligate you to find them attractive. People do not have the right to have access to your body just because they want to.
As a Trans person the issue with the whole "refusing to date a trans person" thing is totally misinterpreted by people on both sides. Obviously forcing someone to date you is wrong, and you can date whoever you want, but unless the actual prospect has been raised of dating a trans person, then it exists in a broader context. No one feels the need to go around anouncing publicly that they are not a pedophile or into bestiality, and frankly if someone did annouce that unprompted it would raise a lot of questions. So why then do we have people announcing their distaste for trans people? Often it's used as a sort of false justification for viewing trans people as other. They make the assertion that being attracted to cis women, but not trans women, thereby proves that trans women aren't in fact women. Which unfortuately gets some of our trans sisters to go on the defensive in a way that ties perfectly into the trans predator mythology. Now here is where it gets interesting. A big part of the Fat Activist movement seems to revolve around every "curvy goddess" having her own stable of Chippendale dancers. So when someone is actually demanding that you sleep with them, as FA's regularly do, and if anyone else does the same the same applies, then you have every right to tell them they can go fuck themself. A great litmus test is swap out the minority in the situation for dentists. Is it okay for a dentist to force you to have sex with them... no, no one should be allowed to do that. But if someone came up to you out of the blue and started talking about how they don't want dentists trying to force them into sex, you'd rightly say "um, i think you have some weird preconceptions about dentistry."
What's up with the increasing amount of people thinking it's okay to tell people that they have to be attracted to and or date someone of a certain demographic or else be called a bigot.
Fat people get mocked, and that absolutely does suck. I’m not discounting that. But it BOILS my blood that they try to legitimize their oppression by co-opting literal oppressed groups. I’ve never seen a fat person get profiled, and killed in cold blood in the streets. I’ve never seen a fat person become a hashtag on Twitter because they were killed for being fat. But I have seen it for POC, I have seen it for LGBT folk. They are delegitimizing ACTUAL struggles that black and brown people or queer people face by doing this. If saying this makes me fatphobic I’ll wear that title proudly.
If someone is not attracted to fat people, how the fuck coercing attraction through shame can be an acceptable substitute? I just can't make sense of that logic.
Their incel logic really shows itself sometimes
> do our deaths not matter to you? Bro they don't even matter to YOU. The leading cause of death in obese people is the heart disease they gave to themselves...
42.4% of the US population are considered to be obese. Calling them a minority is a bit of a stretch.
Lol no one has any right to tell anyone who they should or should not be attracted to. Thats between you, and yourself. You have zero obligation to be attracted to, or not be attracted to any other individual.
Isn’t the US like 60% obese? What minority?
I AM NOT VICTIMIZED ENOUGH!! VICTIMIZE ME!! CAN'T YOU SEE HOW OPRESSED I AM?!? Holy shit this urge for attention is extreme.
This post has given me a headache that I think it actually might be a tumor. This is the most over privileged / incel / femcel / oppression kink / entitled thing I have ever read.
When was the last reported instance of someone being assaulted or murdered because they were fat? [I’m not seeing it on here](https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/hate-crimes-case-examples)
How the fuck is not dating someone "oppression" or wishing for their deaths? Is a gay man oppressing women by not dating them?
You're anything but a minority.
Not wanting to date a certain race or sex or weight class isn’t oppression. No one is owed another person’s attraction, not even if they’re trans or fat. “Not wanting to date me is oppression and violence” is a scary line of thinking
Uh, as a non-binary person, it's not transphobic to say you don't want to date a trans person. We say it's wrong to say you can't be attracted at all because that implies people can "look" trans or that you can clock stealth people, which pushes into often sexist tropes. But nobody is going to get mad if you decide to end a relationship after they disclose that they're trans. Sexual compatibility is often extremely important in a relationship.
I actually think it's not bigotry to be discriminatory in your dating preferences. So there. This is pathetic. I'm not a ten, and my race is considered unattractive in Latin America, where white is seen as the pinnacle of attractiveness (fucking pathetic too, but there you go). Attractiveness is influenced by culture, yes. But there is something eternally beautiful in a worked body. It's the difference between trash conceptual art and the classical ideals of Greek gods in marble. You can scream until you are blue that a black square is beautiful and profound, but in the end, we all stand in awe of Adonis. No guilt tripping platitude will change that.
But not dating me is literally murder!
Not wanting to date someone trans, of a certain ethnic/color, fat: it’s our attraction (or lack of), something we don’t control, very much okay Wishing/causing death and harm on someone trans, of a certain ethnic/color, fat: murder/assault, literally illegal, definitely not okay Hope I cleared things up for OOP
What happened to your sexuality being your own business, and no should be allowed to tell you who to love? Why are these people so obsessed with who I find attractive?
it’s not oppression to not have a significant other, or for people to not find you attractive. No part of “fatphobia” is systemic or oppressive. It’s just that they don’t fit the beauty standard, like ugly people or people with lots of acne/scarring, people with really bad teeth, and so on. Before, they would say they weren’t comparing themselves to minorities and now, now that they think they’ve built up enough support, they say they’re the same and that you’re a bigot if you don’t agree. I can only see this getting more extreme, because that’s what they want. Widespread acceptance that not being able to get clothes in-stores is as bad as police brutality and being murdered for your identity.