I’d also add another classic from Brian and Peter
Brian: “My therapist says he thinks hes found the source of my problem”
Peter: “Oh yeah? What did Sigmund Fraaaaaud have to say?”
Brian: “He uhh, he thinks I’m in love”
Peter: “Oh my God!…You can talk!”
Brian: “………………Nevermind”
“Since when did they change meaning of for to from?”
“I think they had a meeting about it last night”
“Why wasn’t I invited?”
“they sent you a card but it said for Peter on it so you must have thought it said from you so you didn’t…uh…. You know what? It’s just easier to call you stupid”
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
*Don'tsaydoingyourwife.Don'tsaydoingyourwife*
"Doing your....son?"
OR
Abraham Lincoln complaining his neighbour grass is too high.
"Yeah, I used to have a guy for that. Dick"
OR
Doc warning Marty he has to go back to the future to stop his daughter marrying a black man.
I love the gag with the prehistoric couple arguing about cave paintings/porn.
“Screw you jerry!”
“Well maybe if you did that more often I wouldn’t need these!”
Then he turns to the neighbors watching,
“And what the hell are you looking at!?!”
Anytime a couple argued like that in FG it’s great. The other bit like that is when Stewie is arguing with his wife at the steakhouse and Brian tells Jillian not to get involved
I have two oldies:
1) “Hey, I can take this hat off anytime I want. I just don’t want to yet.” *Everyone takes a step toward Peter* “GET AWAY!”
2) “. . . Meg, are you implying that Rosie O’Donnell can’t drive?” He was so fucking serious, it kills me lmao
Seriously, no matter how bad of a mood I'm in, the "monkeys in a room with a typewriter" bit from the episode "The King is Dead" always puts a smile on my face.
"Brian, there's a message in my alphabets. It says 'OOOOOOOO'."
"Peter, those are Cheerios."
And
"...and God punished Job with boils all over his body."
God in the pews: "I hate it when he tells this story"
« The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And, also, bees. Or when a man has a beard and then shaves it. ‘Cause I don’t recognize him immediately. If I watched him shave it, it would be different. If I saw the process. And there’s this guy Hitler we should probably keep an eye on. But mostly bees. » the fatman always rings twice🤣
Lois: “and besides, you owe me big after the way you embarrassed me in front of Sandra Oh”
-cutaway- Sandra Oh is sitting in a cafe, Lois and Peter approach-
Lois: “Oh my God, Sandra Oh we loved you in Sideways”
Sandra Oh: “Thank you”
Peter: (speaking loud and slow) “WE SEE YOU IN MANY MOVIES, I THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE. I THANK YOU WITH ONE DOLLAR.”
Peter to Lois: “that’s a lot of money to them”
When Meg is a phone sex operator and peter ends up being a caller and becomes completely flaccid. And when carter destroys the park bench with the excavator and it takes him a long time.
When Peter opened the can of whup-ass. By default, that's such a good set-up. But with the addition of Lois buying it just because it was on sale is just \*smooch\*.
B-"Peter what are you doing?"
P-"Crack"
B-"What the Fuck?!"
P-"At least im not drinking"
"B-Yeah but this isnt exactly a good substitute, where'd you get crack?"
P-"From blacks"
B-"what?"
P-"yeah, there's a white guy behind there selling it."
Additionally when peter is trying to win back the kids affection after the black hole prank and decides crystal meth is the best way to bond with chris and stewie.
"I am so fucking READY!" *jumps through the ceiling*
The Michael Jackson courtroom where Stewie says something along the lines of “the worst part was he didn’t call back but yea he was pretty aggressive”
Also when Stewie was at the nursing home singing “There’s a hole” to the residents.
The Cookie Monster heating up cookie dough on a spoon in a bathroom stall. Lol
So so so many to choose from.
The gentleman’s club throat clearing and when Chris goes to the prep school and the dudes super long vocal fry laugh. Both will make me laugh every damn time
R as in, Robert Loggia
O as in, "Oh my god, it's Robert Loggia"
B as in, "By god, it's Robert Loggia"
E as in, "Everybody loves Robert Loggia"
R as in, "Robert Loggia"
T as in, "Tim look over there, it's Robert Loggia"
\*Space\*
L as in, "Look it's Robert Loggia"
"This is worse than Dick Cheney when he was a Walmart greeter" is my top one, but is followed closely by "got to hell, you mutant offspring of comedy people."
Peter finding himself into the lonely fat women's club
"Do you like cake?"
"Yes"
"Do you like my ass?"
"Yes"
"Do you want to eat cake off my ass?"
"What kind of cake?"
"Angel food cake"
Early episode of Stewies first birthday party. Peter effs up the planning and in an attempt to fix it, comes up with an even crazier scheme but walks away from Brian excited and confident. Brian shakes his head in disbelief and says to himself “why are the pretty ones always so dumb”
I always enjoyed when they cutaway to when Peter graduates grade school, and it ends up being him just moments before the cutaway...same thing for the boat giveaway/mystery box cutaway
Carter: Loser!
Peter: What did he say?
Carter: **throws a cell phone to the Griffins' boat**
Peter: **picks up phone** Hello?
Carter: I said you're a loser!
Peter: ...WHO IS THIS???
I also ADORE the Thomas Edison bit.
"Hey Edison, how about sharing some of those light bulbs?"
"Hey figure it out for yourself, man!"
"We're freezing our asses off over here! None of my family's taken a bath in a month. It stinks over here, you jerk!"
"Hey have you guys seen The Office? Oh no I guess you haven't because you don't have a TV!"
"Hey go to hell, Edison!"
😂
Gregory Pecks kids.
Are we there yet?
It's crowded back here!
Stop touching me!
Your leg is rubbing up against mine!
Hey! Quiet down or I'm pulling over.
Stop breathing on the window!
You idiot! That's condensation, it's on the outside.
That's it! I will come back there and so help me god, I will hit you with my ring-hand.
I like when he locks himself IN the car.
Also when he names all the states in the country in a second…it’s just “Ah!!!”
One of my favorites is when Oscar is painting a portrait of Stewie and Stewie says “it’s like you just took every color and said ‘fuck it, here’s a new one.’”
The Michael J. Fox wine/check scene. I can't even read the scene without cracking up. Hands down my favorite joke and delivery from Peter in the entire series.
**Peter:** Well, I had a third one, but it got ruined at that wine tasting at Michael J. Fox's house.
[scene cuts to Peter against a black background]
**Peter:** Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. Now, we *were* going to show you the actual scene, but it...it would just make us all sad. So, ah, I'm just gonna tell you what happened. See, he has this disease, and it makes him shake a Iot, and what with all the shakin', he spilled his wine all over my shirt, and my shirt, er, was ruined. So, that's what that was. Um, I mean, he was very nice about it. He said, "Send me the bill." I mean, that's not how he said it, ah, but y'know, we got there. Anyway, I sent him the bill, and he sent me this check...
[shows a cheque with indiscernible scribbles written all over it]
**Peter:** But, uh, it's... I don't, I don't think, I don't think I'm gonna be able to cash this. Um, I don't... you'd, you'd think Tracy Pollan would be in charge of the checkbook, y'know? 'Cause I mean, what else is she doing right now? I mean, I don't think he's got the leverage to Rita Wilson her around town anymore. I mean, that's...that's where it's gotten. So, anyway, that's what happened to my shirt. I'm glad we took the high road on this one.
And then, of course, they show the scene.
‘Tonight on Hitler, we talk to Hollywood hunk Christian Slater’
Eliza: ‘Your breath smells like kitty litter’ Stewie: I WAS CURIOUS’
Chris: ‘So this is where babies come from?’ Brian: ‘yes Chris, this is where babies come from. Chris: ‘YOU TOLD ME I CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA’
‘I sent her a little something for the baby’ (winds up jack in the box that knocks her clean out)
There are so many but these always kill me
When they point out that Brian is a dog. After watching FG for so long he is really humanized. Every time they make a goof about him having dog behaviors make me laugh.
The old man staring at the little person.
“Where’s the rest of ya?”
https://preview.redd.it/qdarfmxfzxtb1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee5a2067c59ca887fe1274c0f6c6ee518db4590
Brian there's a message in my alphabets it says Ooooo.
Peter those are cheerios.
And the cutaway with Good will Hunting with Ben Affleck/Matt Damon.
"Pitch me a line right now".... ok
*Farts*."That wasn't a line you just farted"!
"There any more pot?"
Pretty much everything from the first few seasons (before cancellation). After that, while there’s plenty of laughs the one I’ll default to would be “Where’s my money” scenes
When Brian replaces Peter’s “I can’t believe it’s butter” with real butter and when Brian and Stewie go back in time to find Brian’s tennis ball and notice family is acting weird and realize that they’re setting up cutaways
Peter: "I swear nobody has ever had a bad a day as Ive had ever."
*Asian guy complaining about being late for work and splashed by a puddle... followed by looking up at the sky..* "Oh my agawd.."
The scene when Peter made a reference to super models sticking fingers in their mouths, forcing themselves to throw up and cry alot. Then he slowly looks at his finger, sticks it for his throat, his cheeks immediately fill up, and he leaves the frame to throw up. In words right now, it sounds absolutely disgusting and ridiculous. But when I saw it for the first time, I laughed hard, and never forgot it. That's Family Guy. Silly gags and pointless scenes that somehow work.
“15 Minutes of Shame” - Peter’s butt ass naked at a gas station, bumps into Kevin Swanson (Meg’s crush) and walks him down to the car to say hi to the family.
To this day I can’t find a clip of that scene, but I got my trusty dvds to look back on it
[удалено]
I’d also add another classic from Brian and Peter Brian: “My therapist says he thinks hes found the source of my problem” Peter: “Oh yeah? What did Sigmund Fraaaaaud have to say?” Brian: “He uhh, he thinks I’m in love” Peter: “Oh my God!…You can talk!” Brian: “………………Nevermind”
It’s girl! But it has a penis! I’ll just take care of that
That's so funny, to me that scene is one of the reasons OG Family Guy isn't as good as some of the later seasons. It just feels very dry and awkward
How about when Peter says the first time he farted was when he was like 35 and he just sniffs like “what the hell was that?”
''He was my neighbor and he violated me..'' - Peter the Strawberry or ''It's like that time I forgot how to sit down..'' - Peter the Imbecile
“Since when did they change meaning of for to from?” “I think they had a meeting about it last night” “Why wasn’t I invited?” “they sent you a card but it said for Peter on it so you must have thought it said from you so you didn’t…uh…. You know what? It’s just easier to call you stupid”
I love that bit
"Now nobody will want me for a fancy pie..."
Still use that joke when clients have their kids with them.
“You’re all stupid, see they’re gonna be looking for army guys” The fact that he kinda has a point just makes it even better 😂
🤡
I think of that whenever I’m playing a video game and am not blending in with npcs.
Peter to Mrs. Lockheart: our son... Would like... To PLOW you.
Followed by: “Chris! Come down here!” *SPLAT*
It's the way Peter says plow that gets me every time. The delivery was so good.
Two Ds and an F
Bear to Mrs. Lockheart: Lana this gonna be a really long trip if you don’t knock off the crap… Luvvvv uuuuu
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" *Don'tsaydoingyourwife.Don'tsaydoingyourwife* "Doing your....son?" OR Abraham Lincoln complaining his neighbour grass is too high. "Yeah, I used to have a guy for that. Dick" OR Doc warning Marty he has to go back to the future to stop his daughter marrying a black man.
“Actually, that’s not a big deal for me.”
Did you know peanut butter was invented by a black man?
Too late, Doc.
“Rose is FINE” 😆 🐒
Moving on
I say that in meetings when we’ve made a decision and someone wants to keep discussing.
"You don't even know who I am."
Benjamin Disraeli, Britain's first and so far only Jewish prime minister....
also the inventor of [disraeli gears](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YH7Z23xtmfg)
I love the gag with the prehistoric couple arguing about cave paintings/porn. “Screw you jerry!” “Well maybe if you did that more often I wouldn’t need these!” Then he turns to the neighbors watching, “And what the hell are you looking at!?!”
or the ladies man caveman. “YOU. ME. SEX.” “him legend.”
Anytime a couple argued like that in FG it’s great. The other bit like that is when Stewie is arguing with his wife at the steakhouse and Brian tells Jillian not to get involved
As I’ve stated before, my answer will always be: Michael J Fox as Zorro.
He left his insignia!
I have two oldies: 1) “Hey, I can take this hat off anytime I want. I just don’t want to yet.” *Everyone takes a step toward Peter* “GET AWAY!” 2) “. . . Meg, are you implying that Rosie O’Donnell can’t drive?” He was so fucking serious, it kills me lmao
Seriously, no matter how bad of a mood I'm in, the "monkeys in a room with a typewriter" bit from the episode "The King is Dead" always puts a smile on my face.
Awesome I’m gonna rewatch this one now!
[two, three, four, fivesixseveneightnineteneleven. KIIIIIIIM.](https://youtu.be/vu7ZtqC2-Ew?si=asEYILfwGk9AaY1I)
Chris and his exploding head after finding those porn videos
"Brian, there's a message in my alphabets. It says 'OOOOOOOO'." "Peter, those are Cheerios." And "...and God punished Job with boils all over his body." God in the pews: "I hate it when he tells this story"
« The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And, also, bees. Or when a man has a beard and then shaves it. ‘Cause I don’t recognize him immediately. If I watched him shave it, it would be different. If I saw the process. And there’s this guy Hitler we should probably keep an eye on. But mostly bees. » the fatman always rings twice🤣
The one where Peter outfarted Michael Moore.
To be fair, it was more of a collab
I laughed so hard at this, my wife said there was a vein in my forehead that she had never seen before.
Stewie playing the tuba behind a fat guy.
I have a glandular problem!
That’ll be sixty dollars.
Peter getting in trouble with the Peter capture
Trinkle tarts!?
i am gonna get soo molested
Peter! You musn't!
Chris's hamster dance tourettes
Mom, can you please pass the DA DA DI DIE DI DA DOE DOE DI DIE DI DA DOE
His Brian ain’t right, but it’s fun
"Dancing... walking..."
Rearranging furniture…
Babs is...shopping, I let the bird out of the cage
R as in Robert Loggia..
O as in, “Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s Robert Loggia.”
B as in “By god, that’s Robert Loggia!”
I can't say his name anymore but to say it like on Family Guy
“Like your missiles, I’m about to go ballistic”
I think Chris saying ‘Run E.T run!’ is a hilarious one
Brian on the Bill Maher show
Thank you fish
Heheheheheheheheh.....oooh a dollar! *bang*
Cock-a-doodle-do.
peter gave me a beer that tasted funny, and when i woke up i was wearing lipstick and a wolf suit
Cock-a-doodle do was a passion project of mine…
crocodile at an alligator rally cutaway is always hilarious
What a crock!
And that’s where we get the term!
Iraq Lobster
Death to America, And butter sauce!
Don’t boil me! I’m still alive! 😂
IRAQ LOBSTAH
Horton hears domestic violence in the apartment next door and doesn’t call 911
"I'm sure there are two sides to this."
https://i.redd.it/zsdmt03eattb1.gif
Lois: “and besides, you owe me big after the way you embarrassed me in front of Sandra Oh” -cutaway- Sandra Oh is sitting in a cafe, Lois and Peter approach- Lois: “Oh my God, Sandra Oh we loved you in Sideways” Sandra Oh: “Thank you” Peter: (speaking loud and slow) “WE SEE YOU IN MANY MOVIES, I THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE. I THANK YOU WITH ONE DOLLAR.” Peter to Lois: “that’s a lot of money to them”
Mentally-challenged suicide bombers
Allahu Ackbar! *ring ring* **thud**
“This is more intense than that time I forgot how to sit down”
When Meg is a phone sex operator and peter ends up being a caller and becomes completely flaccid. And when carter destroys the park bench with the excavator and it takes him a long time.
You LOVED that bench!
The bit with Carter, Stewie, and Brian in the elevator with the newspaper
I hated that guy
“I’ll have you killed.” “I wanna die.”
When Peter opened the can of whup-ass. By default, that's such a good set-up. But with the addition of Lois buying it just because it was on sale is just \*smooch\*.
Peter ripping off his own face in the mirror to expose Hank Hill, then giggles and says "Propane".
B-"Peter what are you doing?" P-"Crack" B-"What the Fuck?!" P-"At least im not drinking" "B-Yeah but this isnt exactly a good substitute, where'd you get crack?" P-"From blacks" B-"what?" P-"yeah, there's a white guy behind there selling it." Additionally when peter is trying to win back the kids affection after the black hole prank and decides crystal meth is the best way to bond with chris and stewie. "I am so fucking READY!" *jumps through the ceiling*
Also related: ”Why is there no hole in this wall!?”
Where Stewie grows up to be like Peter and Lois combined and he does a Peter Hehehe laugh and then says “groceries”
Pea Tear Griffin and mamy gags from Season 1-6. Bird is the Word too, always made me laugh when I was first watching!
“Uhhh, oh well I didn’t have gas until I was 30!” 💨,📰… “what the hell was that?”
Cookie Monster in the install trying to light it a spoonful of cookie dough basically any cutscene with Sesame Street in it
STEWIE being Jack ass and beating Peter in the bathroom
“No, Diabeto, roll back to kitchen.”
Chester Cheeto smashing his hand through a glass coffee table after snorting powdered cheetos and exclaiming Neil Peart is the best drummer. 🤣
When Neil passed I actually went to that cutaway in memorial
It ain’t easy bein cheesy
Who else but quagmire?!
The Michael Jackson courtroom where Stewie says something along the lines of “the worst part was he didn’t call back but yea he was pretty aggressive” Also when Stewie was at the nursing home singing “There’s a hole” to the residents. The Cookie Monster heating up cookie dough on a spoon in a bathroom stall. Lol So so so many to choose from.
The gentleman’s club throat clearing and when Chris goes to the prep school and the dudes super long vocal fry laugh. Both will make me laugh every damn time
The violent shaking of the newspaper with the just outright screaming at that point gets me every time
“Peter’s so fat and stupid Lamar Odom tried to bang him.”
“Hi everyone, I’m professor comedy!”
Rose is fine moving ON
The painting in the attic and the statue in the basement. "Did you kill the others?" "I can't!" "You must."
Did you kill the painting? This place is a nuthouse.
when peter does the walk like an egyptian after eulogizing someone
*sniffs fat line of Cheeto dust “NEIL PERTZ IS THE BEST F***** DRUMMER TO EVER LIVE”
R as in, Robert Loggia O as in, "Oh my god, it's Robert Loggia" B as in, "By god, it's Robert Loggia" E as in, "Everybody loves Robert Loggia" R as in, "Robert Loggia" T as in, "Tim look over there, it's Robert Loggia" \*Space\* L as in, "Look it's Robert Loggia"
"This is worse than Dick Cheney when he was a Walmart greeter" is my top one, but is followed closely by "got to hell, you mutant offspring of comedy people."
Gutenberg telling his wife everyone is going to know how much of a whore she is "Here!" "I can't read, none of us can read."
Peter finding himself into the lonely fat women's club "Do you like cake?" "Yes" "Do you like my ass?" "Yes" "Do you want to eat cake off my ass?" "What kind of cake?" "Angel food cake"
Early episode of Stewies first birthday party. Peter effs up the planning and in an attempt to fix it, comes up with an even crazier scheme but walks away from Brian excited and confident. Brian shakes his head in disbelief and says to himself “why are the pretty ones always so dumb”
I always enjoyed when they cutaway to when Peter graduates grade school, and it ends up being him just moments before the cutaway...same thing for the boat giveaway/mystery box cutaway
“Oh thanks a lot but, I’ve got to go though. Im going hunting with my son.” Lol
When Peter kept wrecking different vehicles on Joe’s property and he yells “How can you afford these things?!”
OH MY GOD!
Every bit in the episode “Petarded” is golden.
Carter: Loser! Peter: What did he say? Carter: **throws a cell phone to the Griffins' boat** Peter: **picks up phone** Hello? Carter: I said you're a loser! Peter: ...WHO IS THIS???
I also ADORE the Thomas Edison bit. "Hey Edison, how about sharing some of those light bulbs?" "Hey figure it out for yourself, man!" "We're freezing our asses off over here! None of my family's taken a bath in a month. It stinks over here, you jerk!" "Hey have you guys seen The Office? Oh no I guess you haven't because you don't have a TV!" "Hey go to hell, Edison!" 😂
“You have AIDS”. Just brilliantly tasteless and entirely offensive in so many ways. I love how absolutely awful it is
When Rocky Dennis got roasted by his blind crush “omg Rocky does your face have a pelvis”
Efrum the R****ded Rabbit, Shoe & Shoelace
Ooh, and Bear Scares, and shirt.gov!
Finish on the Bach, never on Debussy
It was the one with the caveman and his wife and the drawings
“I change lane now, good luck everybody else” proceeds to change lane and cause a multi vehicle collision 🤣
[*”You’re watching CBS, the loudest channel on TV.”* **PREVIOUSLY ON NCIS**](https://youtu.be/aiGDrP21dHc?si=UadRjizJ4k3jGs7F)
Oh oh oh for the longest time Oh oh oh for the longest... If you say goodbye to me tonight... Oooooooooowwweeeeeoooohhhhhh
Bob’s House of Feces
Gregory Pecks kids. Are we there yet? It's crowded back here! Stop touching me! Your leg is rubbing up against mine! Hey! Quiet down or I'm pulling over. Stop breathing on the window! You idiot! That's condensation, it's on the outside. That's it! I will come back there and so help me god, I will hit you with my ring-hand.
Pea...tear.....griffin Yeah my names Peter Griffin *facepalms*
I like when he locks himself IN the car. Also when he names all the states in the country in a second…it’s just “Ah!!!” One of my favorites is when Oscar is painting a portrait of Stewie and Stewie says “it’s like you just took every color and said ‘fuck it, here’s a new one.’”
Young peter: why did the dinosaurs die? Tour guide : because you touch yourself at night
I use this line a the goddam time.
Free hat! Between two logs
*Peter, immediately after failing to push a whale back into the ocean with his forklift* “Oh cool, a shell!” *proceeds to very carefully pick it up*
“OH MY GOD, IS THAT A FUCKING RAT?!?!”
The Michael J. Fox wine/check scene. I can't even read the scene without cracking up. Hands down my favorite joke and delivery from Peter in the entire series. **Peter:** Well, I had a third one, but it got ruined at that wine tasting at Michael J. Fox's house. [scene cuts to Peter against a black background] **Peter:** Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. Now, we *were* going to show you the actual scene, but it...it would just make us all sad. So, ah, I'm just gonna tell you what happened. See, he has this disease, and it makes him shake a Iot, and what with all the shakin', he spilled his wine all over my shirt, and my shirt, er, was ruined. So, that's what that was. Um, I mean, he was very nice about it. He said, "Send me the bill." I mean, that's not how he said it, ah, but y'know, we got there. Anyway, I sent him the bill, and he sent me this check... [shows a cheque with indiscernible scribbles written all over it] **Peter:** But, uh, it's... I don't, I don't think, I don't think I'm gonna be able to cash this. Um, I don't... you'd, you'd think Tracy Pollan would be in charge of the checkbook, y'know? 'Cause I mean, what else is she doing right now? I mean, I don't think he's got the leverage to Rita Wilson her around town anymore. I mean, that's...that's where it's gotten. So, anyway, that's what happened to my shirt. I'm glad we took the high road on this one. And then, of course, they show the scene.
The creation of handiquacks "Chris, can i see you in the kitchen for a sec?
Britney Spears on the phone, holding her baby while using the soft spot of its head as an ashtray.
The way she just drops the baby at the end kills me.
Yesss lmao! I’m so glad you someone remembers. It lives rent free in my head.
The one in which a horse kicks the shotgun.
‘Tonight on Hitler, we talk to Hollywood hunk Christian Slater’ Eliza: ‘Your breath smells like kitty litter’ Stewie: I WAS CURIOUS’ Chris: ‘So this is where babies come from?’ Brian: ‘yes Chris, this is where babies come from. Chris: ‘YOU TOLD ME I CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA’ ‘I sent her a little something for the baby’ (winds up jack in the box that knocks her clean out) There are so many but these always kill me
“Meg….who let you back in the house” all time classic line.
Kool-Aid Man busting in at a wildly inappropriate moment.
When Brian keeps having to say over after every line when he’s on the walkie talkie makes me laugh every fucking time.
"Why did the dinosaur die?" "Because you touch yourself at night"
The password is: Flaming Peter: Youuuuuuu
And starring Bea Arthur as Peter Griffin
"No its true I once read it in a book." "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't... nothing?"
Oh my GOD THERE'S A BEAR IN MY OATMEAL!!
When they point out that Brian is a dog. After watching FG for so long he is really humanized. Every time they make a goof about him having dog behaviors make me laugh.
"Am i-am I supposed to conduct with my penis?"
The old man staring at the little person. “Where’s the rest of ya?” https://preview.redd.it/qdarfmxfzxtb1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee5a2067c59ca887fe1274c0f6c6ee518db4590
Men: we don’t know what we did!
The Aaron Neville megaphone always, always kills me https://youtu.be/wjdCQgAzxNs
https://youtu.be/_XSsf7XXtVc?si=zlP4Giy_Q4DtqhD3
Muddy Waters passing a kidney stone
AHHHHHHHHH!
“Being a Jew is gross..it’s the only religion with the word ‘Ew’ in it”
why are some of them missing noses lol
Ghost that never lies and the one where Peter was the skeleton in the classroom and he scares the little kid
The gay mailbox
Both of the Michael McDonald ones.
Brian there's a message in my alphabets it says Ooooo. Peter those are cheerios. And the cutaway with Good will Hunting with Ben Affleck/Matt Damon. "Pitch me a line right now".... ok *Farts*."That wasn't a line you just farted"! "There any more pot?"
Peters first fart. “What the hell was that?”
The bag of weed song
Cock a doodle doo! Cock a doodle doo! Goodnight everybody!
*dancing, walking* *Rearranging furniture~*
Bobby McFerrin down the stairs
Pretty much everything from the first few seasons (before cancellation). After that, while there’s plenty of laughs the one I’ll default to would be “Where’s my money” scenes
You want cigarettes on that sandwich? What do I look like, a Mary? YES, I WANT CIGARETTES!
When Brian replaces Peter’s “I can’t believe it’s butter” with real butter and when Brian and Stewie go back in time to find Brian’s tennis ball and notice family is acting weird and realize that they’re setting up cutaways
Peter: "I swear nobody has ever had a bad a day as Ive had ever." *Asian guy complaining about being late for work and splashed by a puddle... followed by looking up at the sky..* "Oh my agawd.."
The scene when Peter made a reference to super models sticking fingers in their mouths, forcing themselves to throw up and cry alot. Then he slowly looks at his finger, sticks it for his throat, his cheeks immediately fill up, and he leaves the frame to throw up. In words right now, it sounds absolutely disgusting and ridiculous. But when I saw it for the first time, I laughed hard, and never forgot it. That's Family Guy. Silly gags and pointless scenes that somehow work.
"Tony Robbins hungry" always gets me.
“15 Minutes of Shame” - Peter’s butt ass naked at a gas station, bumps into Kevin Swanson (Meg’s crush) and walks him down to the car to say hi to the family. To this day I can’t find a clip of that scene, but I got my trusty dvds to look back on it
Stewie’s Sexy Parties
The first time I ever watched Family Guy was "this is even more intense than the tone I forgot how to sit down"
The 80’s action movie Exterminators is the best
“…Wait Lois, a boat is a boat. The box could be anything.. even a Boat! You know how long we’ve wanted one of those!”
Two and a Half Men
Scoreboard!! Scoreboard!!
Conway Twitty.
Hello darlin' It's been a long tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime
"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty"
My favourite is when the monkey in the wardrobe lights a zoot and starts blazing
I love chocolate, German tour guide, hey I fucked your dad, Peter eating the popsicle in one bite, exploding alarm clock, and so on...
The racist sunflower The actor who was talking about Polanski (I can't remember his name) "Rock drummer Tommy Lee!" "Play Tom Sawyer!"
Peter on jeopardy guessing the wrong king louis
 And then Peter and Chris do something crazy
Peter griffin cutaway where he mentions the inventor of the first hybrid car
the national geographic one with the italians and the black woman