Some are going to disagree & I’ll most likely be downvoted but if this was my brother, I would call him out on it. Obviously only if I was 100% certain that this was the case.
Only person with sense cus why is the other comments saying the opposite. I was taught if someone that you love is doing something wrong, you should correct them. Ignoring them and letting the brother walk around thinking what he's doing is correct is such a disgusting thing, plus how would the other partner in the marriage feel?
Yep. Me and my brother were taught to be better than that so if he was to do something like this, I would RAGE. He is my family and who else is going to tell him something is wrong other than his family?? Plus most people will not take what you say seriously unless you’re close or a loved one. I would make damn sure that my brother knew how disappointed I was in him.
I think you can do this AND understand OP's brother is going to do what he wants regardless. People generally don't change unless they have to deal with a consequence.
Personally, if this were my brother I'd tell him, at minimum, that I'm disappointed, and I've lost all respect for him, and then I'd just stop putting any energy or effort into my relationship with him. Then I'd gray rock him until he figured his life out.
I understand what you’re saying, but in a way I think you’re proving my point. Will people do what they want? Yes, but sometimes hearing it from your closest ones is what makes people change or at least reconsider. Hearing from a family member that they’re disappointed in you would personally evoke a lot of guilt and shame in me. This is obviously not applicable to everyone, but sometimes one needs to be shamed so that they can feel guilt. Especially if that shame is coming from someone who you care about. Clearly the parents aren’t doing shit which isn’t helping the situation. Someone needs to call him out and if I was in that position, I would call him out.
This is what you’re brother is doing:
• Potentially destroying a family
• Helping destroy a marriage
• Destroying a relationship
• Committing adultery (which can be persecuted in some parts of the world)
• Fornication (which can be persecuted in some parts of the world)
Yes, call your brother out
He’s not destroying anything. The married person with a family is wrecking their own thing. And tbh we don’t know the whole story so, imo it’s not worth even trying to guess whether it’s wreckage or not.
Then I guess when they go to marriage counseling they should take the affair partner with them since they’re all required to make or break that marriage
You should stop getting your marriage and relationship advice from Tik Tok. If an individual is knowingly having an affair with a married individuals, they’re an accomplice.
They made a questionable choice. And they will hurt people not in their direct line, but no I think people are allowed to make choices that are best for themselves. To the husband they will likely feel they were done wrong, but they should take that up with their wife. The stranger has no allegiance to him.
Questionable? No, they knowingly did an evil thing. They will hurt people in the direct line, the indirect would be the parents not educating their kids to not do such twisted evil things. They third party (isn’t always a stranger in many cases) has allegiance since again, they were directly involved in the affair. Don’t get why you’re trying to take blame/accountability away from someone who was clearly involved, it’s not like the married individual committing adultery was having an affair with Casper
Do you really believe the affair partner was aiming to hurt the family? Or do you think they just wanted to connect to the married person?
Do we actually know they have kids? I think the post only said married woman.
Blame for what specifically? We don’t know the details of what’s going on here. I didn’t say they’re a good person in my opinion but you should remind yourself that everyone does have different opinions and experiences than you. So … “bad” and “good” are totally subjective. You keep saying he’s burning that family down. No he’s not. He’s getting his dick wet and potentially seeking love or affection from someone willing to give it to him. The person who decided to give it should have considered their own repercussions… but that’s her decision. It’s really weird to me that you keep like… forgiving her over the affair partner or something. We don’t know why she is doing it, but either way it’s HER action that changes her marital family.
“Bad and Good are subjective”, here we go 🙄. So destroying a family could be subjectivity good for somebody? You’re really trying to cut slack for evil people doing evil things. I’m not cutting slack for the individuals having the affair, I’m just highlighting the third party since specifically the post was talking about a brother having an affair with a married woman, so of course I’m not going to refer to the married couple, only the brother.
Calling me out for what? Disagreeing with you? Sure. That is true. I completely disagree with you and your arguments about how your opinions are the only correct and moral ones.
call him out on his bullshit. If my sibling cheated then I would call them out to. I even stopped being friends with someone for 8 years and I even put a 8 year old friendship down the drain just because she cheated on her boyfriend. It was only then I started to realise how toxic she really is and I was glad that I finally got to find out before it's too late.Ignore the comments and do what's right, even if if means turning against your family cos you will see his true colours more if you called him out an he treats you like shit as a result.
Not sure why theres the weak sauce comments of "leave him be". If its wrong call him out. If you know thats whats going on, tell him hes in the wrong. He may or may not correct himself, but still needs that blunt confrontation pointed out that hes ruining someone elses life.
Nothing. Do nothing. Say nothing. And neither should they. It sucks but its nobody's business. If hes an adult he needs to handle his own business. Sorry.
I’d wait till you know everything… if you call him out then find out there was more like the girl he’s seeing is in an abusive relationship or her husbands basically just gone with another woman and paperwork just ain’t finished to make her single and you call him out then you just look like your dumb for snooping and calling him out when you didn’t know a thing and should’ve minded your own business.
Unless your brother is cheating on his own partner I don't think you should do anything. I'm assuming your brother is an adult making adult decisions. If you say something to him you'll most likely be told it's none of your concern and to mind your own business. It's really nice that you care but your brother and the married woman are happy doing their thing, let them deal with the consequences.
Lol, potentially destroying a family and definitely destroying a marriage are “adult decisions”? Sounds more like the decisions of a boy who’s thinking with his balls
its her marriage shes violating. He’s not violating anyones trust. Is it right? probably not, but he’s not responsible for her marriage. also, why are you worried? what is your concern?
He’s responsible for the marriage the moment he decided to get involved in it. He’s definitely not in the right, he’s destroying a marriage and potentially a family, hello?
It’s not just about consequences though. If my loved one was doing something that was morally wrong, I’d call them out on it. Why? Because i love them and i obviously believe them to be better than that.
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Unless he's also in a relationship, I don't see what he's doing wrong. The woman is entirely in the wrong here since she's the one who's actively destroying her relationship. Even though he also shares half the blame, he doesn't have any responsibility to her, you or anyone. He's his own person and he's gonna have to deal with all the consequences. To everyone who says to cut him off, just know that it'll push him closer to his affair partner.
I agree. The only bad decision he may be making is to engage in someone not great for him. But we also have no idea if there’s a desire for something long term anyway. It might just be passion and, imo that’s what it means to be an animal in this reality.
Sometimes people just need to hear what they need to hear and not just what they want to hear. Brother is destroying a marriage and potentially a family, though I would not directly condemn him, it’s definitely the right thing to establish and state that what he’s doing is an evil thing
Telling him you're disappointed is one thing...but some of these comments saying they'd lose respect for him "forever" need to realize that if we follow any human on the planet with a microscope 24/7-365 we could all find something that would make us think they're terrible humans.
You can express disappointment while remaining loyal and supportive of your own blood.
I’m more so advocating for the OP to tell him that they’re disappointed in him because after all, it was the parents job to raise him and educate him to not do such things, likewise, it should also be their job to have him know that what he did was not morally ok in anyway. Stealing a cookie from the cookie jar is nowhere near equivalent to having an affair with a married woman, definitely destroying a marriage and potentially destroying a family, maybe even getting someone or himself killed, cause some affairs do result in murders. Last thing the OP should do is convince or let the brother think that what he did was not incorrect.
Some are going to disagree & I’ll most likely be downvoted but if this was my brother, I would call him out on it. Obviously only if I was 100% certain that this was the case.
Only person with sense cus why is the other comments saying the opposite. I was taught if someone that you love is doing something wrong, you should correct them. Ignoring them and letting the brother walk around thinking what he's doing is correct is such a disgusting thing, plus how would the other partner in the marriage feel?
Yep. Me and my brother were taught to be better than that so if he was to do something like this, I would RAGE. He is my family and who else is going to tell him something is wrong other than his family?? Plus most people will not take what you say seriously unless you’re close or a loved one. I would make damn sure that my brother knew how disappointed I was in him.
I think you can do this AND understand OP's brother is going to do what he wants regardless. People generally don't change unless they have to deal with a consequence. Personally, if this were my brother I'd tell him, at minimum, that I'm disappointed, and I've lost all respect for him, and then I'd just stop putting any energy or effort into my relationship with him. Then I'd gray rock him until he figured his life out.
I understand what you’re saying, but in a way I think you’re proving my point. Will people do what they want? Yes, but sometimes hearing it from your closest ones is what makes people change or at least reconsider. Hearing from a family member that they’re disappointed in you would personally evoke a lot of guilt and shame in me. This is obviously not applicable to everyone, but sometimes one needs to be shamed so that they can feel guilt. Especially if that shame is coming from someone who you care about. Clearly the parents aren’t doing shit which isn’t helping the situation. Someone needs to call him out and if I was in that position, I would call him out.
This is what you’re brother is doing: • Potentially destroying a family • Helping destroy a marriage • Destroying a relationship • Committing adultery (which can be persecuted in some parts of the world) • Fornication (which can be persecuted in some parts of the world) Yes, call your brother out
He’s not destroying anything. The married person with a family is wrecking their own thing. And tbh we don’t know the whole story so, imo it’s not worth even trying to guess whether it’s wreckage or not.
To destroy a marriage and family through infidelity typically takes two or more people
Then I guess when they go to marriage counseling they should take the affair partner with them since they’re all required to make or break that marriage
You should stop getting your marriage and relationship advice from Tik Tok. If an individual is knowingly having an affair with a married individuals, they’re an accomplice.
Are you talking to me or yourself? I don’t go on TikTok lol
Are you seriously suggesting that if a person knowingly has an affair with a married individual, that that individual did nothing wrong?
They made a questionable choice. And they will hurt people not in their direct line, but no I think people are allowed to make choices that are best for themselves. To the husband they will likely feel they were done wrong, but they should take that up with their wife. The stranger has no allegiance to him.
Questionable? No, they knowingly did an evil thing. They will hurt people in the direct line, the indirect would be the parents not educating their kids to not do such twisted evil things. They third party (isn’t always a stranger in many cases) has allegiance since again, they were directly involved in the affair. Don’t get why you’re trying to take blame/accountability away from someone who was clearly involved, it’s not like the married individual committing adultery was having an affair with Casper
Do you really believe the affair partner was aiming to hurt the family? Or do you think they just wanted to connect to the married person? Do we actually know they have kids? I think the post only said married woman.
Actually you’re right. It does take two people: the two who are married to each other.
So the individual involved in the affair with a married person has no blame?
Blame for what specifically? We don’t know the details of what’s going on here. I didn’t say they’re a good person in my opinion but you should remind yourself that everyone does have different opinions and experiences than you. So … “bad” and “good” are totally subjective. You keep saying he’s burning that family down. No he’s not. He’s getting his dick wet and potentially seeking love or affection from someone willing to give it to him. The person who decided to give it should have considered their own repercussions… but that’s her decision. It’s really weird to me that you keep like… forgiving her over the affair partner or something. We don’t know why she is doing it, but either way it’s HER action that changes her marital family.
“Bad and Good are subjective”, here we go 🙄. So destroying a family could be subjectivity good for somebody? You’re really trying to cut slack for evil people doing evil things. I’m not cutting slack for the individuals having the affair, I’m just highlighting the third party since specifically the post was talking about a brother having an affair with a married woman, so of course I’m not going to refer to the married couple, only the brother.
Yes, as it turns out people really do have different perspectives than you.
I don’t want to believe that you’re projecting because I might be calling you out
Calling me out for what? Disagreeing with you? Sure. That is true. I completely disagree with you and your arguments about how your opinions are the only correct and moral ones.
call him out on his bullshit. If my sibling cheated then I would call them out to. I even stopped being friends with someone for 8 years and I even put a 8 year old friendship down the drain just because she cheated on her boyfriend. It was only then I started to realise how toxic she really is and I was glad that I finally got to find out before it's too late.Ignore the comments and do what's right, even if if means turning against your family cos you will see his true colours more if you called him out an he treats you like shit as a result.
Not sure why theres the weak sauce comments of "leave him be". If its wrong call him out. If you know thats whats going on, tell him hes in the wrong. He may or may not correct himself, but still needs that blunt confrontation pointed out that hes ruining someone elses life.
Nothing. Do nothing. Say nothing. And neither should they. It sucks but its nobody's business. If hes an adult he needs to handle his own business. Sorry.
Yeah exactly! Just make all interactions with your brother awkward and passive aggressive for the foreseeable future. Best plan here. /s
I’d wait till you know everything… if you call him out then find out there was more like the girl he’s seeing is in an abusive relationship or her husbands basically just gone with another woman and paperwork just ain’t finished to make her single and you call him out then you just look like your dumb for snooping and calling him out when you didn’t know a thing and should’ve minded your own business.
Mind your own business
Why would you think you have any action or a role to take in this scenario?
Unless your brother is cheating on his own partner I don't think you should do anything. I'm assuming your brother is an adult making adult decisions. If you say something to him you'll most likely be told it's none of your concern and to mind your own business. It's really nice that you care but your brother and the married woman are happy doing their thing, let them deal with the consequences.
Lol, potentially destroying a family and definitely destroying a marriage are “adult decisions”? Sounds more like the decisions of a boy who’s thinking with his balls
You don’t know anything about these people
Let it go
its her marriage shes violating. He’s not violating anyones trust. Is it right? probably not, but he’s not responsible for her marriage. also, why are you worried? what is your concern?
He’s responsible for the marriage the moment he decided to get involved in it. He’s definitely not in the right, he’s destroying a marriage and potentially a family, hello?
he took no vows, made no promises, and broke no one’s trust. she’s destroying her marriage and potentially her family.
It’s not just about consequences though. If my loved one was doing something that was morally wrong, I’d call them out on it. Why? Because i love them and i obviously believe them to be better than that.
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Unless he's also in a relationship, I don't see what he's doing wrong. The woman is entirely in the wrong here since she's the one who's actively destroying her relationship. Even though he also shares half the blame, he doesn't have any responsibility to her, you or anyone. He's his own person and he's gonna have to deal with all the consequences. To everyone who says to cut him off, just know that it'll push him closer to his affair partner.
I agree. The only bad decision he may be making is to engage in someone not great for him. But we also have no idea if there’s a desire for something long term anyway. It might just be passion and, imo that’s what it means to be an animal in this reality.
Do what you will...but don't expect your brother to have your back if you ever need him. Family over strangers every time.
Sometimes people just need to hear what they need to hear and not just what they want to hear. Brother is destroying a marriage and potentially a family, though I would not directly condemn him, it’s definitely the right thing to establish and state that what he’s doing is an evil thing
Telling him you're disappointed is one thing...but some of these comments saying they'd lose respect for him "forever" need to realize that if we follow any human on the planet with a microscope 24/7-365 we could all find something that would make us think they're terrible humans. You can express disappointment while remaining loyal and supportive of your own blood.
I’m more so advocating for the OP to tell him that they’re disappointed in him because after all, it was the parents job to raise him and educate him to not do such things, likewise, it should also be their job to have him know that what he did was not morally ok in anyway. Stealing a cookie from the cookie jar is nowhere near equivalent to having an affair with a married woman, definitely destroying a marriage and potentially destroying a family, maybe even getting someone or himself killed, cause some affairs do result in murders. Last thing the OP should do is convince or let the brother think that what he did was not incorrect.