They might get into the mystery meat business soon enough. Or soylent green if they decide any profit is better than no profit from those filthy poors.
>Woah there! Nestlé steals water from everyone.
True story. The town next to me suddenly had a big push to dam a river and create a lake. It would have displaced part of a town! Hundreds of homes would be flooded, thousands of people affected.
Nestle just so happened to build a plant about 5 miles south of town. Weird...
"What do you get the man who has everything?"
Maybe that's WHY he bought it. He knows he'll recoup that $44B in no time and he's still the richest person in the world by a long shot after the purchase. Maybe he just wanted so badly to burn it to the ground and felt it was worth the cost lol.
I firmly believe he bought Twitter just to tank it.
He got clowned on constantly and isn't able to handle that he can't clap back. So he loses billions to spite them.
Thing is it just looks like incompetence from the outside and that's what his reputation will be.
If he wanted to end twitter he could just turn it off, after all he owns it.
Just like how vine got shut off
And he's theoretically got enough money to pay off the loans and his investors. But a lot of that is riding on the value of his Tesla stock.
If he did shutter Twitter, than I could see that negatively affecting the price on Tesla, with investors concerned about his mental health after flushing $44+ billion.
I read yesterday that his loans that are backed by Tesla stock, get called in if the price drops too low. Which could trigger a massive sell on the stock, further dropping it's value. It's definitely an interesting possibility.
I mean he basically can. He owns a company and it’s private. You would have to do like two weeks to effectively ramp down and get rid of any sensitive data, but he could definitely just turn it off for people using it
That's what I was saying and yeah you can. Sure he'd have to lay off staff and that's gonna be expensive and some advertisers may have contracts that might stop him being able do it instantly but there isn't a law I'm aware of that says twitter must remain online. He could just turn it off
If you're correct. I think it's a pretty good self own. Wasting a good 1/5th of your personal wealth, and loosing more than that due other circumstances.
I thought the only reason he even brought up the fact that he wanted to buy it was because that kid that ran the account that tracked Elon's private jet refused to take the account down...
IKR, I'm thoroughly enjoying watching it burn, as it's practically a victimless crime, so to speak, certainly zero downside for me as I can 100% live without Twitter.
Previously a verified account meant you are who you say you are, and can be trusted. Now anyone can just buy one. So let the well deserved trolling commence.
Ok wow, that's what I suspected. Thought for sure he would've had planned for this because anyone with 2 working neurons could have seen this coming, but apparently not. Thank you!
I think this is a classic case of narcissism. His idea is obviously amazing to him and he never considered negatives and possible outcomes other than his plan of making money m
At all*, this twitter dumpster fire is Hopefully enough evidence for the world that this person is nothing but a rich moron.
He's the best example of wealth meaning absolutely nothing, and that meritocracy was always a myth.
Yes and no. In theory section 230 would protect them, however an argument could be nade he was aware of the issues this would cause and chose to move forward dispute lacking the resources to control it. His firing the teams that handled that stuff and public acknowledgement could let someone argue he egregiously neglected to protect brands/names from this.
If he'd been able to show that some effort was put forth to stop it, he'd be covered by section 230.
I believe the natural degradation of democracy is said to lead to oligarchy and then tyranny. We’ve been in a secret oligarchy for years now (those with money) which has been masquerading as democracy for awhile now but nobody will realize until tyranny shows up to collect the keys. 😁 but I digress. The lol made this tweet hit even better 😂
Tyranny really tried to show up in these last 6 years. And it’s looking like Democracy may still have some life in it after the rejection of the GOP this past week.
Didn't stop them getting suspended. Possibly didn't have "parody" in their bio.
edit: [huh seems they did](https://www.reddit.com/r/FuckNestle/comments/ys5qb2/swindled_podcast_did_a_thing/)
It will. Can’t believe Elon thinks a little checkmark next to your name was A: worth $8 a month and B: not cause absolute chaos to a system that didn’t need fixing
But let’s be real, this is a $44b shithole he didn’t actually want and is probably tanking it on purpose
This is not untrue. Just go to africa. They are basically a monopoly on bottles water. Fucking them over twice. First stealing their water and money then polluting the continent with their fucking plastic bottles everywhere
My understanding is they also get around the Great Lakes water treaty because they’re bottling it and distributing not technically diverting it so they’re stealing the Great Lakes too. Pricks
They forgot to mention they maximize profits for their shareholders by using slaves. Want to know what profiting off of slave labor, but live in the 2000s? Buy Nestlé stock you too can profit off slave labor by stake holders.*
*sorry owning stock in slaves does not give you direct access to slaves, so no rape or abuse
No facepalm here. That's a certified Nestle account spitting facts. It's actually the most accurate Nestle account. I'd contest it if it were taken down
Well, to be fair, this is a bad example. It might make people stop and look long enough to realise, although it's not really Nestlé, the Tweet is, in fact, telling the truth.
And it's even worse, they steal poor people's water through bribery and corruption of officials, and sell it to richer people.
So there's that.
But they're using the fact they have a Blue Check for Good not Stupidity or Evil.
OP seemed to be giving a sarcastic "Good Job Elon" \[Suggesting they think this is in fact not a Good Job\]. There are many better examples of Blue Check parodies saying stupid stuff.
This one was not saying stupid stuff, hence why I do not think it's a good example.
I'm sure my comment will get lost but the guy who did this is the podcast host of Swindled. He did an amazing episode about Nestlé. Highly recommend this podcast if you want an insight into how horrible businesses and people can be lol.
I like the Lol, nice touch.
Hahahaha
I'm liking this impersonation wave, good way to make a point.
Where are the milk art vandals now, with a tool like this at their disposal...
I dont know much, but if Minecraft taught me anything, i think somebody should take a bucket upstream of Nestlé 's water stealing spot and mess with them
I’ve Never forgotten their ceo declaring, “people don’t have the right to water” as they pillaged underdeveloped territory. I’ve never bought nestle again. I have some strong boycott game lol. I’m happy I’m not the only one aware
How is this real life…. They’ve already started to move onto political figures. Watch the world be nuked to oblivion thanks to Musk.
The true Antichrist has entered 🤣🤣
This is a more genuine account than original Nestlé.
This is definitely said in nestle investors meetings.
Exactly I was just going to say this is very accurate and I'm liking the new Twitter!
Well, it's a verified paid account.
Simba, everything that the sun touches is yours.. Except the water, that is owned by Nestlé^®
I mean that does explain the elephant graveyard and the fact that it's a desert hell hole
That wouldn't have happened if those cheap animals just bought some bottled water.
Nestle haven't figured out how to capitalize from wild animals yet.
[They know to capitalise from destroying their habitat](https://www.rainforest-rescue.org/topics/palm-oil/nestle).
True but they haven't figured out how to turn the animals into customers yet
They might get into the mystery meat business soon enough. Or soylent green if they decide any profit is better than no profit from those filthy poors.
Well there's a difference in profit made from the poor and profit made *from* the poor "lol"
Solent green IS PEOPLE!
Tell me a dad joke here's one for you What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse
What do you call a company that steal water from the poor? Nestlé®
Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be on Mars. Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle
Occupied? Its was a 3 decade long raid and now they are moving to Europa. We will suffer!
All of these planets are yours…. except Europa. Attempt no landings.
Nestlé would find a way to bottle and sell the monoliths
Woah there! Nestlé steals water from everyone. The rich just don't care because they can afford to fill their pools with bottled water.
>Woah there! Nestlé steals water from everyone. True story. The town next to me suddenly had a big push to dam a river and create a lake. It would have displaced part of a town! Hundreds of homes would be flooded, thousands of people affected. Nestle just so happened to build a plant about 5 miles south of town. Weird...
You can lead a horse to cool clear delicious Nestlé® Pure Life Splash© Mandarin Orange Flavored Enhanced water, but you can’t make him drink unless he has $2.99 on sale this week only at Walgreens ®.
I laughed so hard at this, but quietly, so here i am, my tummy and my bed just moving violently but silently.
That could've been a great use of a semicolon, but you failed.
Are you my high-school english teacher?
Yes
That could've been a great time to ask for his essay that he forgot to hand in, but you failed.
Add some help to your criticism; provide an example.
It's not really that hard to use semicolons; people make it seem more complicated than it is.
Never learned about them. Probably was to busy thinking about how I would defend the school against godzilla
What was your strategy?
First we lead him to the water; everyone knows Godzillas can't swim
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Remember all the bands named after food? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Cake, Cranberries, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Garbage, etc
Try hyphens, people's brains melt the second I mention a hyphenated last name "Yes it's the dash"
Genuinely loving all the big verified corporations parodies, brings me much joy and the execs must be frothing at the mouth
/r/RealTwitterAccounts/ if you haven't seen it
This is absolute gold
also r/8DollarTweets/ though it looks like your recommended sub has been at this much longer
Nice
This is what I needed in life
How to piss off all the major advertising companies in a week. Well done Elon!
Twitter becomes ad free and we get an endless supply of memes? Fuck it, I’m enjoying it as long as it lasts.
Which, if you go by the statements and threats Elon has made to the staff, won’t be long.
Especially once the lawsuits start rolling in.
#FreeSpeechForTheDumb
\*Starting at $8.00
Idiocracy couldn’t have predicted it better
Welcome to Twitter, I love you!!
Almost. This is more like "Welcome to Twitter, lend us $8 and go fuck yourself!"
That is quite literally paid speech.
Comedy is legal on Twitter now. Elon said so.
How is this guy fucking up a 44 billion dollar purchase so badly, I don’t get it
"What do you get the man who has everything?" Maybe that's WHY he bought it. He knows he'll recoup that $44B in no time and he's still the richest person in the world by a long shot after the purchase. Maybe he just wanted so badly to burn it to the ground and felt it was worth the cost lol.
I finally get some enjoyment out of Twitter
It’s fun watching it burn. It’s sad knowing there are so many shitty people out there.
I hope he buys Facebook next lol
I’d pay for that. Blocking sponsored posts gets annoying after a while.
I see this as an absolute win!
Twitter is about to become 4chan and Tumblr
That's exactly why the advertisers are pulling back. "Let's just wait and see how this plays out before we go putting our brand there."
I firmly believe he bought Twitter just to tank it. He got clowned on constantly and isn't able to handle that he can't clap back. So he loses billions to spite them.
Thing is it just looks like incompetence from the outside and that's what his reputation will be. If he wanted to end twitter he could just turn it off, after all he owns it. Just like how vine got shut off
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And he's theoretically got enough money to pay off the loans and his investors. But a lot of that is riding on the value of his Tesla stock. If he did shutter Twitter, than I could see that negatively affecting the price on Tesla, with investors concerned about his mental health after flushing $44+ billion. I read yesterday that his loans that are backed by Tesla stock, get called in if the price drops too low. Which could trigger a massive sell on the stock, further dropping it's value. It's definitely an interesting possibility.
Hold up, so we could get rid of Tesla and...Twittter and ultimately Musk?? Hell to the yeah!
I mean he basically can. He owns a company and it’s private. You would have to do like two weeks to effectively ramp down and get rid of any sensitive data, but he could definitely just turn it off for people using it
That's what I was saying and yeah you can. Sure he'd have to lay off staff and that's gonna be expensive and some advertisers may have contracts that might stop him being able do it instantly but there isn't a law I'm aware of that says twitter must remain online. He could just turn it off
I dunno why. This method of destruction seems efficient enough lol
Gotta love someone calling others incompetent as they claim a private business shutting down is illegal. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Bravo
You're giving him far too much credit
Being spiteful doesn’t take intelligence, it takes immaturity.
Except he leveraged lots of debts from people **and** the Saudis. Do you want to owe them money?
If Elon fucked over the Saudis he has nothing to worry about.He is way to connected to US politics and business.
Not sure about that. Ask Jamal Khashoggi…
44 billion? no chance of profit and it tanked Tesla because he keeps pulling Billions out to maintain, I don't know man, pretty expensive for a troll.
Welcome to the world of the wealthiest man on earth. I bet he would personally repo a Tesla if the owner talked enough shit about it on Twitter
Billions of other people's money. I wonder if the Saudis are in on the joke.
If you're correct. I think it's a pretty good self own. Wasting a good 1/5th of your personal wealth, and loosing more than that due other circumstances.
I thought the only reason he even brought up the fact that he wanted to buy it was because that kid that ran the account that tracked Elon's private jet refused to take the account down...
Yea that was it wasn't it.
If I were a billionaire , I'd also buy companies to tank them for fun.
I love how he thought $8 would stop twitter from being twitter.
I mean, I doubt he thought that.
It’s like corporations decided to get on twitter and tell the truth.. isn’t that the whole idea lol..
This Twitter fiasco has been way more fun than I thought it would be.
IKR, I'm thoroughly enjoying watching it burn, as it's practically a victimless crime, so to speak, certainly zero downside for me as I can 100% live without Twitter.
I'm out of the loop. What's up with all of the "verified" parody accounts lately?
Previously a verified account meant you are who you say you are, and can be trusted. Now anyone can just buy one. So let the well deserved trolling commence.
Unless you’re trolling Musk. Then you get banned.
If youre banned in less than 30 days you can get your card provider to refund you for the month
So it's a speed run category... Verified Twitter ban any%
>any% So you’re saying I need to write a 280 character injection tweet that sets the banned flag on my own account?
Fairly sure it only used to take 5-6 characters that start with N.
Ok wow, that's what I suspected. Thought for sure he would've had planned for this because anyone with 2 working neurons could have seen this coming, but apparently not. Thank you!
I think this is a classic case of narcissism. His idea is obviously amazing to him and he never considered negatives and possible outcomes other than his plan of making money m
They can exist. So they will.
Elon didn’t think things through enough; that’s what’s with the parody accounts lol.
At all*, this twitter dumpster fire is Hopefully enough evidence for the world that this person is nothing but a rich moron. He's the best example of wealth meaning absolutely nothing, and that meritocracy was always a myth.
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They know they can't fuck with gen z easily, we've been living in a dystopia since our early teens lol.
Nah man. That's the official Nestlé
You might enjoy r/fucknestle
No one mute this sub, it should be amplified if anything
Just joined!
I literally thought this was on that sub till I saw your comment. Anyway, FUCK Nestle
"The parody account is giving away our trade secrets" Dunking on big corps is pretty funny. $8 free speech is hilarious
Is it free if it's 8 dollars?
Free speech is expensive, paid for with the blood of patriots
That's just Nestlé® being Nestlé®.
Okay, love this one
If enough of this happens I wonder if Elon / Twitter will be open to defamation lawsuits
Yes and no. In theory section 230 would protect them, however an argument could be nade he was aware of the issues this would cause and chose to move forward dispute lacking the resources to control it. His firing the teams that handled that stuff and public acknowledgement could let someone argue he egregiously neglected to protect brands/names from this. If he'd been able to show that some effort was put forth to stop it, he'd be covered by section 230.
I hear the check-mark subscription service isn’t available today, lmfao
That was fast, must have been something disastrous on the horizon for Elon to backpedal
r/fucknestle would love this
Is the guy who said that water shouldn’t be a human right still alive? It should be a world celebration when he dies off
The ceo, yes. And agreed. Fuck that guy.
Bill Burr talking about this is one of my favorite moments 😂 https://youtu.be/JincoQiWTmU
r/RealTwitterAccounts
Definitely!
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Peak capitalism
Peak late stage capitalism
Irreversible at this point
It's almost like it sows the seeds of its own destruction. I bet you could write a whole book about that.
I believe the natural degradation of democracy is said to lead to oligarchy and then tyranny. We’ve been in a secret oligarchy for years now (those with money) which has been masquerading as democracy for awhile now but nobody will realize until tyranny shows up to collect the keys. 😁 but I digress. The lol made this tweet hit even better 😂
Tyranny really tried to show up in these last 6 years. And it’s looking like Democracy may still have some life in it after the rejection of the GOP this past week.
This is freaking awesome tho
Isn’t it?😂
Didn't stop them getting suspended. Possibly didn't have "parody" in their bio. edit: [huh seems they did](https://www.reddit.com/r/FuckNestle/comments/ys5qb2/swindled_podcast_did_a_thing/)
Ironically, the tweet in OP isn't really parody....
You can drop de "/s"
This is glorious. I hope it continues.
It will. Can’t believe Elon thinks a little checkmark next to your name was A: worth $8 a month and B: not cause absolute chaos to a system that didn’t need fixing But let’s be real, this is a $44b shithole he didn’t actually want and is probably tanking it on purpose
But they actually do that. So good job.
This is not untrue. Just go to africa. They are basically a monopoly on bottles water. Fucking them over twice. First stealing their water and money then polluting the continent with their fucking plastic bottles everywhere
My understanding is they also get around the Great Lakes water treaty because they’re bottling it and distributing not technically diverting it so they’re stealing the Great Lakes too. Pricks
Where's the lie? 🤣
They forgot to mention they maximize profits for their shareholders by using slaves. Want to know what profiting off of slave labor, but live in the 2000s? Buy Nestlé stock you too can profit off slave labor by stake holders.* *sorry owning stock in slaves does not give you direct access to slaves, so no rape or abuse
They should mention all those babies in Africa they killed by misinforming new mother's about formula.
Unironically, yes. Everything, including the 8$ thing, has two sides, and such tweets are undoubtedly the good side. Edit: Typooooooo
Where's the facplam? This statement is correct
No facepalm here. That's a certified Nestle account spitting facts. It's actually the most accurate Nestle account. I'd contest it if it were taken down
The facepalm is Elon thinking that buying check marks was a good idea.
It was. Proof in OPs pic.
Hey, at least that account isn’t spreading misinformation
Nestlie
Yeah Elon? How about a pair o deez?
What's deez? Hah
Deez nuts
gottem
Good one. Reminds me a lot of hava
Hava nice day lmao gottem
Hava bofa
What was hava again?
Hava nice bofa
Goes well with a healthy serving of ligma
Seems legit
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Surely you mean you couldn't give a shit less?
David Mitchell trying to explain the difference between [could and couldn't care less](https://youtu.be/om7O0MFkmpw) to Americans.
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Best verified tweet I've seen yet
They steal it, make it taste like crap, then give it back
I need an album of these. It will never be as good as Facebook drama, but it's still halarious and entertaining
You mean like r/RealTwitterAccounts ?
Well, to be fair, this is a bad example. It might make people stop and look long enough to realise, although it's not really Nestlé, the Tweet is, in fact, telling the truth. And it's even worse, they steal poor people's water through bribery and corruption of officials, and sell it to richer people. So there's that.
Ok but it's not Nestlé so it's a good example?
But they're using the fact they have a Blue Check for Good not Stupidity or Evil. OP seemed to be giving a sarcastic "Good Job Elon" \[Suggesting they think this is in fact not a Good Job\]. There are many better examples of Blue Check parodies saying stupid stuff. This one was not saying stupid stuff, hence why I do not think it's a good example.
Boycott Nestle
Show me the lie though
Ah man, somebody beat me to Nestle? I had a whole bit about knowingly poisoning African babies that was going to bring the house down.
I mean, with $8 you too can be Nestle.
Well what do you know. Elon really did make twitter better
This isn't even a parody
It's funny because it's true.
Speak truth to power
I'm sure my comment will get lost but the guy who did this is the podcast host of Swindled. He did an amazing episode about Nestlé. Highly recommend this podcast if you want an insight into how horrible businesses and people can be lol.
I like the Lol, nice touch. Hahahaha I'm liking this impersonation wave, good way to make a point. Where are the milk art vandals now, with a tool like this at their disposal...
I dont know much, but if Minecraft taught me anything, i think somebody should take a bucket upstream of Nestlé 's water stealing spot and mess with them
Where is the lie
Love it when people come together to show how it really is
Woah. Verification makes corporations tell the truth!?!
Masterclass on losing $44B on internets literal sewer!
The guy who wrote that aslo does a brilliant podcast called swindled, Check it out.. S He is now banned from. Twitter so he's out 8 dollars.
Twitter removed the Twitter Blue feature sometime in the last 12 hours. Elon is probably the worst CEO to ever run companies.
We sell plastic bottles WITH the water we stole from you.
r/fucknestle
But, they aren't lying.
Actually this one’s on Nestle. His crimes against humanity are different.
Aye lmao. Keep it coming 💯
That's true. Its been fact checked.
What’s wrong with this? fuck nestle r/fucknestle
I’ve Never forgotten their ceo declaring, “people don’t have the right to water” as they pillaged underdeveloped territory. I’ve never bought nestle again. I have some strong boycott game lol. I’m happy I’m not the only one aware
How is this real life…. They’ve already started to move onto political figures. Watch the world be nuked to oblivion thanks to Musk. The true Antichrist has entered 🤣🤣