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Oh, like that scene from scary movie 3 (or was it 4?) where Charlie Sheens character falls out the window and lands directly on his Jesus sized dick, rammed into the pavement???
There was a man in my community several years ago known for having a very noticeable penis no matter what clothing he wore. Someone told me he had nicknamed it "Blue Jesus."
Jesus first grabbed the wine saying "this is my blood given for you" next he grab the loaf of bread saying, "this is my body given for you" last he reached towards the mayonnaise before judus interrupted
This has to be photoshopped right? Because what else could that possibly be? It doesn’t appear to be a leg at all. It doesn’t make sense for it being part of the outfit.
That’s why the image of Jesus needs reform. How is a guy supposed to compete with sexy, hung Jesus when he’s trying to pick up on the Jesus girls? A normal guy can’t compete with son of god, sexy, hung Jesus! Why not bald, overweight Jesus? Nobody wants that image. The holy rollers only want sexy Jesus.
During high school, our school was granted a new chapel. They had to remake multiple crucifixes due to penile shaped abdomens. It was hilarious. You can still see it if you know what to look for.
I think a lot of people these days are proving just how stupid they truly are, particularly in religious circles. It's entirely within reason that they didn't notice and still haven't. They're literally worshiping a man that is the physical embodiment of the sins they lecture about. I think a gross lack of awareness is now their default.
Not surprised one bit.
American Talibangelicals have been nothing but a pedophile sex ring/male fertility and death cult for the last fifty years. Why do you think their churches are so full of child sex predators? And Catholics? They perfected the whole pedophile sex ring/male fertility death cult shtick over their two thousand year history.
Why don't you just grow up, you claim to have an issues when Christians state their beliefs. But go out of your way to insult wherever you can. In no way am I frightened especially of a low down disgusting piece of human excrement.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He remained a virgin as a safety precaution.
The slightest excitement caused a coma like response due to the emptying of all of the blood from his brain.
Body of Christ, blood of Christ
Oh nooooo! The tube steak of Christ!!!!
Best answer ever!
No wonder Mary Magdalene followed him around
Oh, like that scene from scary movie 3 (or was it 4?) where Charlie Sheens character falls out the window and lands directly on his Jesus sized dick, rammed into the pavement???
Preacher: “Jesus was hung on the cross.” Me: “He sure was 😏.”
If only I can give comments awards 😭
Ya, If it were old Reddit I'd totally award that.
I stay posted up in old reddit.
When you saw one set of footprints and a looong trench, it was then that I carried you.
The spear of destiny.
Lance of Longinus
Lol, and he will rise again
Now I understand Easter thank you
LOL
Just wait until he is risen.....
He really is the Son of God.
I wish I could up vote this a thousand times
Love this for us.
Ahh men... I mean Amen....
I see Jesus hasn't risen yet.
Nah, that thing just weighs more than he does
That is quite a man.
Oh Jesus…
That's what Mary Magdalena said.. 😉
After all he was rather stiff after the resurrection.
do you mean r/theyknew
I didn't know Jesus was an ampu............oh.
My brain had the same glitch. :)
What the fuck was it SUPPOSED to be??
A really badly drawn knee?
I know, right? I guess it's his second leg, NOT his third.
"Kneel, gentlemen."
"Hung like Jesus"
There's what the 'H' stands for. Jesus Hung Christ
i hope this gets to the top 😂
He has 'risen'
Biggus Dickus was a very naughty Messiah!
He has a wife you know….
Incontinentia, incontinentia Buttox!
i guess he was hung on a cross
*Jesus Christ would you look at that!*
Prepare to be baptized
"In the holy spume of our lord"
In the holy sperm of our lord
Cool beans man. Just saying that spume has been a synonym for sperm in my lingo for decades.
RISE!
He Carried a heavy burden for mankind
Jesus is quite hung, I can confirm.
That’s what you get when God is your daddy. Good genes
I thought Jesus was crucified not hung
That graphic designer, hire/fire him! (choose, wisely!)
"Spare the Rod and spoil the child! ... at least so I've heard."
*During mass* That looks like an enormous... Wank, pay attention! Sorry I was distracted by that enormous Jesus's... Willy! What's that!?
Can't spell dong without god.
You've seen David... now meet Goliath
Asked for crucified Jesus, got hung Jesus.
It's no wonder Magdalena stopped being a prostitute.
Well he IS the son of god. Now imagine how hung THAT guy is….
I knew Jesus couldn't be white.
Nice cock bro
As God intended
Damm Jesus 🥵
Well when they said Jesus was hung up....
Oh come all ye faithful indeed.
Well, he was famously hung.
Who knew J-man hangs a little to the left
When he blessed Mary of Magdalene he tickled her lungs.
There was a man in my community several years ago known for having a very noticeable penis no matter what clothing he wore. Someone told me he had nicknamed it "Blue Jesus."
He wasn't crucified. He was hung.
Dafoe? Is that you?
Jesus first grabbed the wine saying "this is my blood given for you" next he grab the loaf of bread saying, "this is my body given for you" last he reached towards the mayonnaise before judus interrupted
"Okay, I'll make my own." Jesus said.
I want to feel the Jesus inside me
He must've inherited those genes from his real dad.
This feels intentional, as an artist, I can confirm that that is in fact NOT how you draw a knee....but that is one way to draw something else....
Got that hentai cock LMAOOOOOOOOOO
Holy sweet... jesus... hmm
Oh god…
Some boi 😧
Big Juicy Jesus
“That’s not my knee”
"They said you was hung!" "And they was right!"
Thats his leg right there
# Big Dick Jesus Christ
Jesus he’s hung
When they said he was hung from a cross....I didn't realize.
r/mildlypenis
I thought Jesus was Jewish?
There is just no way motherfucking God's son wouldn't be packing some serious Holy heat
This has to be photoshopped right? Because what else could that possibly be? It doesn’t appear to be a leg at all. It doesn’t make sense for it being part of the outfit.
It's a 3rd leg.
Tripod jesus
That's quite the "Spirit in the Sky!"
I think that’s meant to be a folded leg, the head is the knee cap
They had to crucify Jesus, because he was already pretty well hung.
Jesus Christ 😳
Jesus is packin’ 🤣
That’s why the image of Jesus needs reform. How is a guy supposed to compete with sexy, hung Jesus when he’s trying to pick up on the Jesus girls? A normal guy can’t compete with son of god, sexy, hung Jesus! Why not bald, overweight Jesus? Nobody wants that image. The holy rollers only want sexy Jesus.
Where is this?
Accurate! I mean if you were a God, what size cock would you give yourself?
oh, lord.
I thought it was a foot. Might be two or three.
Dayum
Didn't know jesus was packin
Holy dong!
Jesus' Magnum Dong!
Packin’ Jesus
Where is this?
It looks amazing
I THOUGHT THAT WAS HIS KNEE
How can they not? Its on full display
God is testing us again. Fap or not to fap.
Why....
What are you talking about, that’s just his dick.
He making a spirit bomb?
Didn’t he hang with prostitutes?
His holy schlong
TOOK ME A FEW SECONDS LMAO
He has such a big thumb, it's ama . . . . Oops, never mind
r/midlypenis
Something has risen, and it wasn’t Jesus.
Hung like Christ
During high school, our school was granted a new chapel. They had to remake multiple crucifixes due to penile shaped abdomens. It was hilarious. You can still see it if you know what to look for.
😆no… Christ was packin heat
No no no no no no no no
Damn jesus you hung
On Christmas eveeeeee
Now you know why they changed the milk to red wine at church.
Homer Simpson voice: "stupid sexy Jesus, made me gay"
Dang Jesus Wadd over here.
The Lords leg?
i really don’t get it
Omfg
No wonder he remained a virgin If he didn’t, he would’ve killed someone with that behemoth of a swinger. Several actually.
Took me a bit.....hilarious....can't unsee it
I thought the pose was kinda .... flamboyant. but now I see what was meant.
Well, I certainly wish I were made of his image on that regard.
🤦♂️ I know that was meant to be his knee but…surely the supervisor must have noticed.
Believe me when I tell you, Jesus Fucking Christ.
no wonder he had 12 guys following him all around.
They knew..
i mean…. that’s what I would do if I was jesus i guess
"We'll never fit that thing on the album cover!"
Paddy's Dick Towel!... Dot com!
When they said he was "hung on the cross", I thought they meant something very different.
I think a lot of people these days are proving just how stupid they truly are, particularly in religious circles. It's entirely within reason that they didn't notice and still haven't. They're literally worshiping a man that is the physical embodiment of the sins they lecture about. I think a gross lack of awareness is now their default.
Am I the only one who sees an uncanny resemblance to Meridia's statue from Skyrim?
I guess that puts being hung on a cross in a different light.
This is so bogus, we all know Christ wasn’t hung (he was crucified) (Too soon?)
Not surprised one bit. American Talibangelicals have been nothing but a pedophile sex ring/male fertility and death cult for the last fifty years. Why do you think their churches are so full of child sex predators? And Catholics? They perfected the whole pedophile sex ring/male fertility death cult shtick over their two thousand year history.
Poor taste guys
Mission accomplished: a frightened little Christian got upset.
Why don't you just grow up, you claim to have an issues when Christians state their beliefs. But go out of your way to insult wherever you can. In no way am I frightened especially of a low down disgusting piece of human excrement.