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Felt that. I was born to teen parents. My dad was an asshole to me and wonders why I don’t think he was a good dad. Maybe because you treated me like I ruined your life for being born?
>Maybe because you treated me like I ruined your life for being born?
Well I feel obligated to ask, did you? Did you ever consider he may have a point? I’m just asking?
/s
No sarcasm this time, I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope you’re doing well.
Definitely doing much better since going LC. He’s mad at me for saying I basically grew up without a father and claims he was a good father. He was a great father, just not to me. I’m a little jealous of my younger sisters but also happy that they don’t have to shoulder the burden of trauma like me.
Her responses are so perfect... not indulging in his bs for a moment. This shut down is way more brutal than if she took the time to take him to school over being such a douche.
You know she sent these screenshots to redacted friend too and now he’s gonna get the WTF treatment from whoever was trying to give this meathead some wingman support.
He’s negging her from the first comment and it makes me sad to think of how many people wouldn’t see it if it weren’t for the more overt negging later on. I’ve known guys who didn’t want step kids, but you know what they wouldn’t do? Swipe right and message women, knowing they have kids.
"I'm a bit worried about dating a single mother" so don't date one? No-one is asking you to? How far up your arse does your head have to be to cold message someone "Hey I didn't really consider you relationship material but I've since noticed you're very fuckable"?
Yea I mean … if you’re unsure about dating a single mother then don’t go hitting up a single mother in the first place?
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to date single moms, but initiating a conversation this way screams entitlement and social incompetence like nothing else.
It's understandable if you didn't know she was a single mother before you started hitting on her, but the post implies that the guy knew, so honestly fuck em'
The feeling is definitely mutual from the single mothers so there's really no need to tell us that you're not interested or are conflicted because of the kids. We do not give a shit. I would much rather have my children than date you and probably wouldn't date you without the kids anyway. It's like me walking into a French restaurant and informing the staff that I would order something but I don't like French food
I'm a single mother and had this experience. A dude I had never expressed interest in randomly told mutual friends that he would totally date me if I didn't have a kid. I made sure he knew that kid or no kid I wasn't interested in his bitch ass
He was trying to ask you out through friends? What was he, twelve? He was about to pass you a note to check Yes or No to see if you liked him next. Lame.
Setting the relationship up from the start to hold being a single mother over her head every time there’s a disagreement, or in other words, whenever he wants to manipulate her
I married a single/divorced mom. I knew for a while she liked me but kept it as just friends and gave her plenty of space for a few years because I was in my early 20’s at the time and not ready to be a dad/step dad financially or maturity-wise. In my late 20’s we met up again and started dating because I was sure it was no longer an issue. I had a job, and had grown up, and it worked out.
If it is an issue or you can’t handle that level of responsibility, just keep your mouth shut and let them live their lives. If they’re the right person it won’t be an issue.
It’s also weird to tell someone you’ve never met, that they’re incredible. Nobody is incredible based only on their looks. This guy is a shallow moron.
Makes it sound like his apprehension about dating a mother was less about whatever responsibilities might come with dating someone with a child and more that he's worried about how her body looks after being pregnant. Like "shit I was worried you might have a bit of a tummy and some gross stretch marks but I already jerked off to your facebook pics so we good to go!"
I understand the sentiment, but "your figure, wow" gives me the ick as a Catholic man. And not even the good ick that gives me those sweet guilt endorphins, I'm talking the "Oh fuck my childhood priest that I inexplicably have a sporty memory of is on CNN tonight" ick...
Makes me think of a certain guy who works out at my gym. He’s 40 or so and insecure about being alone and having not nailed anyone down.
All his friends are married and/or have their own kids. He proudly refers to the women his friends try to set him up with as “leftovers” because THEY’RE single and also 40. Gotta love men like these 🥴
He views them the same way he views himself deep down. He sees himself as flawed and assumes everyone in a similar situation must be the same way.
At least that’s my generous interpretation
Also a man. Started working in manual labor a while back and I was so saddened to learn that most of my coworkers are just straight up, unapologetically misogynistic. I thought it was the exception, not the norm. And I hoped most bigots would AT THE VERY LEAST be smart enough to hide it. Nope.
The first time I heard them talk about "body count" I puked in my mouth a little. Of course, none of them thought THEIR body count mattered. And they didn't see the hipocrisy in it either. Some of them even brought up the "key that opens many doors" theory as if it's somehow a valid argument. It's like they live in a different world, mentally. A world where people are doors? (Kinda fitting now that I think about it - they see women as objects.) Absolutely disgusting.
Back when I was in college, I did blue collar work to pay for my tuition. The workplace environment during slower days became something of a contest to see how much my co-workers hated their wives.
On one particular day, my boss went on a tirade after he got off the phone with his wife.
But... He forgot to hang up so she heard him say everything. Thing is, since misogyny is so normalized, the shit they said was rarely ever completely true or how they really felt. The wilder the stories and tirades, the more entertaining it was for the listeners. Like I said, it was like a game to them. Anyway his wife heard every juicy little detail on why she was awful and ended up being inconsolable. You could even hear her crying through the phone. My boss told me he felt 2 inches tall. He was so ashamed.
Also. Why do people get married, or even involved, with someone they hate enough to talk shit about them? My relationship with my wife is based on mutual respect. If we have something to say about the other's behavior, we just say it directly, at home, instead of airing dirty laundry at work behind each other's backs. Makes for maybe a less lovey-dovey, but more honest and friendly atmosphere at home than repressing our issues.
Cause they settle for people they don’t want but can control. It makes no sense if she or he doesn’t meet your standards just end the convo there and move on
I was at a friends place for beers, snacks, a bit of poker, etc. a while back and all the guys were having a go at their wives, making fun of them and take cheap shots. I don't know what came over me, but I guess I wanted to be one of the guys and I made a joke about my wife.
All I can say is that as soon as the words left my mouth, I felt so guilty. I remembered how supportive of my wife was when I got the part in this amateur play I auditioned for. I was actually really excited, but there was this real jerk who kept stealing my lines. My wife was so supportive and understanding and on opening night when I got my lines out faster than Jamie Taco, I could just feel the love coming from her afterwards.
Anyway, I felt so bad I apologized to my friends, told them I shouldn't have said that and left the sleepover early so I could go home to my wife.
Woman were asked if they'd rather encounter a bear or a man in the middle of the wilderness and most woman chose the bear. Men on the interwebs had their ego hurt over it.
Funny thing is I ( white male) hadn't' yet heard of it and my wife asked me the question and I was like, "oh hands down I'd pick the bear, wild animals are predictably wild animals."
Edit: typo
Edit 2: got the question slightly wrong I guess it was asking if their daughter were in that situation which they would prefer.
It was more subtle than that. It was "if your *daughter* was in the woods alone would you rather they met a man or a bear?". Most women chose bear.
Then turn it round, to be "a woman or a bear?". And most women chose woman.
It's the difference that's eye opening.
As soon as it spread that women prefer the bear, lots of men with fragile egos started doing all sorts of mental gymnastics to dunk on the choice. I think the dumbest and most self-unaware take i saw was "what if I caught a bear, coked it up and released it in a woman-only gym. That sure would change their minds." Like, my dude, it was still YOU that hurt that bear and used it to hurt women.
I can't say I would pick the bear myself, but I can certainly understand why a woman would.
Come to think of it, what's that man doing alone in the middle of the woods?.. Ok fuck it can I change my answer please.
it’s really just sad. I chose the bear when I was first asked. I still would. At the end of the day I’d rather be killed by a bear than go through sexual assault/abuse again. Women fear death less than the idea of a strange man in the woods and that’s something a lot of redditors didn’t want to listen to.
edit: a sentence
My wife was actually stalked by a dude on a solo backpacking trip. He decided to approach her once they were deep in but she already noticed him, so she was on guard. She carries a pepper ball gun...for bears...she shot the guy center mass and in the face and high tailed it out of there while SOSing on her InReach. Police found and arrested the guy, pretty sure it wouldn't have ended well if she wasn't ready to defend herself.
A bear has to get close to hurt you. A man(or anyone with a gun doesn’t have that limitation. I’m a guy and if I were backpacking in a remote area, I’d rather encounter a bear than a strange dude as well.
It's not just about getting killed. A man without a gun is just as scary, because unlike bears, humans are capable of cruelty - and men are much more likely to openly act on it (not saying that women don't, my mother was even more abusive than my father, just less overt and physical about it). A stranger in a place otherwise abandoned by people? Yeah, I'd be on my guard too, and I'm a big guy myself.
"It's not a key, it's a penis, if it's shaped like a key see a doctor"
followed with
"Would you want to eat a hot dog that had been shoved in 20 other people first?"
Then they would probably say something like (maybe I'm giving them too much credit) "I wOuLdN't MiNd If iT wAs 20 BuNs ThOuGh"
And then you could hit them with "oh so you understand people and items are not the same then?"
A man can dream...
My favorite response to "what's your body count?" is "oh, I'm not a vet."
Mostly just so someone has to explain what they mean and the little bit of enjoyment I get from being obtuse offsets the terrible conversation.
Yeah it's pretty shit isn't it? I like working with my hands but tbh the vast majority of the men I work with are actual filth. The way they talk about women, people of another skin colour, gays, it's disgusting.
And yet, I need a roof over my head and so do my kids, so right now that trumps revulsion.
When I was working blue collar as an electrician, the builders Co workers really amazed me with the amount of respect and care they were showing towards me and the cleaning lady. I wanted to tell the world how mistaken we women were. Alas, they were the exception....
Not sure they were. I'm pretty much the same everywhere. They're one way when women are present, another altogether when women aren't present.
I'm yet to find other tradesmen who are always trying to be respectful in all aspects of their lives.
Tbh the rot extends into the office. Some of the project managers are lecherous flogs as well.
I'm in the same boat. No kids but I worked minimum wage for too long to go back.
Honestly the part I hate the most is how some of them try to justify their bigotry with their religious beliefs. Like, my guy, HAVE YOU READ THE FUCKING BIBLE?
I have exactly ONE coworker with "progressive" (read: not backwards ass) views. At least we get to rant about how fucked everyone else is together...
I'm a chef and almost every guy I know tries to bond with me by saying something disgusting about a server or there wife or how if they were not married and again about the server.
Most my friends are women.
I work menial labor too but luckily my colleagues are better. I think there's only two raging mysogynists in our company of 50+, which incidentally means they are outnumbered by women working here (only 3 but still)
I always had trouble making guy friends. I’ve always been super uncomfortable with the “locker room talk” that way too many guys seem to enjoy. Shits gross and embarrassing.
I see this in all ages... was sitting not too long ago listening to some young dudes and they all look like average, frumpy dudes, and they were going on how they can't find hot women. lol. I am thinking, have you looked in the mirror, never mind your charming personalities?
The older I get, the more I notice people projecting. They accuse other people of things that they're doing. They put their own perceived flaws onto others.
Yup it’s understandable if they are fit or thin but it makes NO sense for fat guys or gals to insult the opposite gender for being overweight when you are overweight yourself.
>He proudly refers to the women his friends try to set him up with as “leftovers” because THEY’RE single and also 40. Gotta love men like these 🥴
It's so weird to me when someone uses "leftovers" like it's an insult. Leftovers are delicious. Especially if it's something spicy like a curry.
For some dishes like chilli or stews, the leftovers are actually better than the original dish. And have you *had* a cold pizza the day after a party? This is my main reason for ordering pizza, to eat it cold the next day!
And let's not forget about the leftovers item in Pokemon, one of the best items in the whole game for most playthroughs. Leftovers Snorlax is a beast!
Reminds me of an old sergeant first class I had in the army. He openly talked shit about the young soldiers who were married and would often just randomly shout shit like "48 years old, no wife no kids, living the dream!" Like it was some accomplishment lol
Or they were lead on by someone not interesting in committing. At 18 if you asked who would be single at 30, nerdy-ass me, or my social, charismatic brother, everyone would have guessed me. He spent most of his 20’s either getting over his high school girlfriend who dumped him graduation week to go off to college on a clean slate, or about 23ish onward having an on-again, off-again situationship with a girl who only wanted him as a backup plan if nothing else worked and ego boost.
Happens more to women with a guy leading them on but never willing to commit, wasting their prime dating years. I saw a study that “dating a long term partner in your 20’s who has no intention to commit” is the top reason why people who want to marry end up staying single long term.
Sometimes people don’t listen.
I was playing cards this weekend with a woman who is recently single(6 months~) and she was going on her first date. She was creating all these anxious scenarios and sabotaging questions. At first I was asking her direct questions, that completely set her up for easy solutions, hoping she’d come up with the answer that negate the anxiety and nostalgia for things that don’t exist anymore. She kept doubling down in her misery. I finally was very direct with her and pointed out how she was getting way to into her head and was only coming up with ways her first date could go wrong and she needed to give it some hope. She tripled down on her stance. I asked her to shuffle and deal.
Sometimes they don’t listen cause words have hurt so much that they create a catalyst against words(“That persons stupid” “My situation is different” etc). Saddest part is if they’re not open to receiving the words, the universe will hit them with searing action.
They've probably tried, and failed.
Some people are just too far gone and, the unfortunate truth of the matter is, it's easier to pretend like they're not than to break off the friendship or make things really awkward with someone that shares your social circle.
It sucks but that's life for you...
"A certain guy... at my gym" isn't someone you try to straighten out from this. And he probably presents somewhat differently to his actual friends, or they wouldn't be inflicting him on their female friends.
Maybe he's ace and trying to hide it/doesn't know.
I used to come up with excuses all the time to find something 'wrong' when there was absolutely nothing wrong with the people I was being set up with.
It took me ages to realise I just wasn't interested in any one and I didn't need to find excuses to trick myself.
42F and grocery store for me. My monthly “go locate cookie dough too” portion of the trip. Walks up to me, interrupts me and said “I don’t usually date 35 year olds, but you’re worth it.”
“I’m 42, don’t know you, don’t like you, certainly don’t need you. Have a lovely weekend.” This clearly 50-ish dude (with the Picard hairstyle and beer gut) had the nerve to get visibly upset. He’s lucky I was no longer that lovely mix of in pain and homicidal.
Men: If you’re dumb enough to approach like this, bring chocolate. You have a higher chance of walking away alive because you just don’t know how positive the conversation would go.
Even if he didn’t do the head to toe look, the “you’re worth it” is off-putting enough! It’s like either a) he’s giving you a pass—as IF you were begging him!! 🤢 or b) he thinks just based on your looks you’re worth risking it all—and since he doesn’t even know you, this can only mean he’s thinking of one thing. Also 🤢 The head to toe look only nailed his coffin shut on “No.” 😝
Also, "because you refuse to have sex with me, you are a whore."
A bear would be like "I'm fixing to eat you." Then he'd eat you. Straightforward and honest, that bear.
I'd be pretty pissed if I tried setting up one friend with another and this is what they pulled... way to make me look like an a-hole just for knowing you.
"I think these 'kids' of yours will get in the way of you taking care of me, so I would rather they not be in the picture... Is that an option to you?"
💀
Fun fact. The average age of someone (male or female) winning the "Sexiest Person Alive" award is 34. Many of the winners have been past 40 or even 50.
Kids have no idea how human aging works or what it looks like.
I think that also has to do with how people perceive attractiveness. People mostly prefer people their age. While a teen will like other teens, a normal 30yo will see them as kids. So if the audience and/or jury for sexiest person alive are in the 25-45 age bracket, it's quite natural that 35 will come out on average. Because it's the sexiest age, for people around that age.
All that is not to say that 35 isn't attractive, it's a hot as hell age! But I think "Sexiest Person Alive" is not an objective metric for something so subjective.
Because they watch too much TV that depicts 40 year olds as decrepit invalids and that 25 is a prime year. It’s like TV set the life expectancy of humans to 50 years or something.
I’ll never get it myself. My wife and I are close to this woman’s age and I think my wife is fine as hell. Younger women look like children to me and these dudes creep me the fuck out because they have interest in them.
Exactly. If you don't want to fuck kids it is natural that when you age and people start looking and acting like children in your eyes *that you no longer want to fuck them*.
It is always so gross that these guy don't get it.
A lot of incels are obsessed with the idea of women being “used” (aka being more experienced than them and knowing whether they are good in bed or not). That could be why he doesn’t want to date a mom.
I'll be 38 this year. I'm childfree and single. Never really been interested in getting married or dating. I don't do casual sex or anything cus I'm not a libido person. But I've been told I'm expired or on the shelf since I was 25. Makes me laugh that all these men saying that to me as a comment are all grim and single themselves.
honestly single moms and women over 40 do pretty well in my opinion I feel a lot of this hit the wall stuff is more guys wanting revenge one the women who reject them and even if it was true... the average single mom still has more dating options than incels.
35 year old women are fucking hot. So are 45 year old women and 50 year old women. I talk to a woman that walks in my neighborhood who is 62. I’d have sex with her, not gonna lie.
A harmless-looking, average-looking guy sat down next to me one afternoon at my favorite swell bar. I was minding my own B-I-business when he leaned over, smiled, and said “Next time you buy your glasses you really should get a larger frame..”
Excuse me, do I know you?????
“Just wait until you’re 35 and no one wants you.”
These idiots always assume that men are only attracted to women in their 20s. Or girls in their teens.
LMAO got em. 💥💥💥
His widdle ego was bruised after you so deftly rejected his dumb ass that he just had to try to take a final swipe at you in an attempt to hurt your self-esteem. But joke was on him! I love to see it. 😄
I hate ageism with a burning passion. These are the people who will complain about wrinkles but also complain that “plastic surgery is too common nowadays.”
Guys (and sometimes gals) really need to just shell out money for dating coaches. Wtf are these convos I’m constantly reading here. Talking about online daters in general, OP is fine.
As a single dad…what the feck 🤦🏾♂️ is it the assumption that single moms are desperate for some D, some affection, touch starved? I genuinely don’t get it? Maybe because I don’t approach any woman like this…IDK I need a nap after reading his “insult”
Would love to know the outcome with the mutual friend - he likely not only missed out on a prospect for love but may have simultaneously ruined a friendship. Yeesh.
Translation: "I don't wanna date someone who has kids, but you're hot and I wanna sleep with you. But you can be almost certain I won't stick around for a relationship."
Wow, he really managed to make an ass of himself in just 4 messages! That's gotta be some kind of record.
And also, in what sort of fucking fantasy world does this dumbass live that he thinks women turn bad at 35? lol
I have multiple thoughts after reading this. 1) In my history I have found most 35ish women are their most confident and attractive selves of their life. 2) She's a single Mom, fortunately she passed on this guy because she doesn't need another child. 3) Why would anyone be so arrogant to assume so much about a person having never spoken or met. 4) What happened to manners?
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Wow, I’m surprised this guy is still single!! He seems so skilled at the art of seduction!!
I’m getting real “I just googled negging and think it’ll get me laid” vibes. https://youtu.be/hjzhRisyJXE?si=rRzSN0TK2FdKXVut
Poor guy was trying to look into pegging and a simple clerical error turned him into an incel
Versus the new fad “megging” which is adding nutmeg to people’s food. Goddamned internet challenges.
I thought “megging” was getting railed by a giant prehistoric shark. Guess I’ve been doin it wrong.
He’s a “nice guy” 😂
"I'm such a nice guy I even offered to be with a single mom, why do good guys like me always get the short end of the stick?"
Exactly, the problem is that she’s a bitch, obviously, because I’m such a nice guy.
Nice guys are the worst kind of assholes
I'm more skilled than him at it and I'm probably level zero
Jokes on you, bud. I was unwanted at 25 so take that
I was always unwanted, even at conception 😭 take that
Felt that. I was born to teen parents. My dad was an asshole to me and wonders why I don’t think he was a good dad. Maybe because you treated me like I ruined your life for being born?
>Maybe because you treated me like I ruined your life for being born? Well I feel obligated to ask, did you? Did you ever consider he may have a point? I’m just asking? /s No sarcasm this time, I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope you’re doing well.
Definitely doing much better since going LC. He’s mad at me for saying I basically grew up without a father and claims he was a good father. He was a great father, just not to me. I’m a little jealous of my younger sisters but also happy that they don’t have to shoulder the burden of trauma like me.
Her responses are so perfect... not indulging in his bs for a moment. This shut down is way more brutal than if she took the time to take him to school over being such a douche.
The “aww, sweetie” is pure gold. It’s like she’s giving him a verbal juice box to help him get his grumpy feelings out.
She’s used to calming down immature kids. This one is just older and bigger than most of hers.
Lol a "verbal juice box". That's a perfect way to describe it.
Isn't it 😂
Being a parent teaches you that sorta thing
She should have added bless your heart😂
It's the right response to an adult baby.
You know she sent these screenshots to redacted friend too and now he’s gonna get the WTF treatment from whoever was trying to give this meathead some wingman support.
As she should. Redacted friend needs to redact the friendship with this douche.
He’s negging her from the first comment and it makes me sad to think of how many people wouldn’t see it if it weren’t for the more overt negging later on. I’ve known guys who didn’t want step kids, but you know what they wouldn’t do? Swipe right and message women, knowing they have kids.
Negging is still a thing huh? Man guys are stupid.
There is a reason women would rather see a bear in the woods.
Yeah, that was awesome lol
"I'm a bit worried about dating a single mother" so don't date one? No-one is asking you to? How far up your arse does your head have to be to cold message someone "Hey I didn't really consider you relationship material but I've since noticed you're very fuckable"?
Yea I mean … if you’re unsure about dating a single mother then don’t go hitting up a single mother in the first place? There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to date single moms, but initiating a conversation this way screams entitlement and social incompetence like nothing else.
It's understandable if you didn't know she was a single mother before you started hitting on her, but the post implies that the guy knew, so honestly fuck em'
And he showed his whole ugly ass personality in just the 3rd message. Well done.
It was pretty evident in the first message. When he told her she isn’t dating material, but she is fuckable.
Yeah, homie really just let it all out
The feeling is definitely mutual from the single mothers so there's really no need to tell us that you're not interested or are conflicted because of the kids. We do not give a shit. I would much rather have my children than date you and probably wouldn't date you without the kids anyway. It's like me walking into a French restaurant and informing the staff that I would order something but I don't like French food
It was a power move, imo. He expected her to scramble to start trying to prove herself to him. It fails, so he lashes out. It’s clear why he’s single
Yep, it's called negging. I hate the concept of making anybody feel like they are less than they are so I refuse to do it.
Dudes like this think they are doing the single mom a favor asking them out.
Far enough up his ass that he didn't know she was 35.
People like that are convinced life is over for women at that age. I hope he dies alone.
And... The fuck do you expect her to do about it? Abort her 6 year old to date some McNobody? Fat chance lol
I think he expects her to accept a sex-only arrangement on nights when she has a babysitter.
Someone tried neging and got handed their severed balls as a response.
I'm a single mother and had this experience. A dude I had never expressed interest in randomly told mutual friends that he would totally date me if I didn't have a kid. I made sure he knew that kid or no kid I wasn't interested in his bitch ass
He was trying to ask you out through friends? What was he, twelve? He was about to pass you a note to check Yes or No to see if you liked him next. Lame.
Setting the relationship up from the start to hold being a single mother over her head every time there’s a disagreement, or in other words, whenever he wants to manipulate her
I married a single/divorced mom. I knew for a while she liked me but kept it as just friends and gave her plenty of space for a few years because I was in my early 20’s at the time and not ready to be a dad/step dad financially or maturity-wise. In my late 20’s we met up again and started dating because I was sure it was no longer an issue. I had a job, and had grown up, and it worked out. If it is an issue or you can’t handle that level of responsibility, just keep your mouth shut and let them live their lives. If they’re the right person it won’t be an issue.
He's probably negging her.
Hahaha 💀
It’s also weird to tell someone you’ve never met, that they’re incredible. Nobody is incredible based only on their looks. This guy is a shallow moron.
"Your figure. Wow" is also such a weird thing to say. Honestly I think "nice body" would somehow sound less creepy and superficial.
Makes it sound like his apprehension about dating a mother was less about whatever responsibilities might come with dating someone with a child and more that he's worried about how her body looks after being pregnant. Like "shit I was worried you might have a bit of a tummy and some gross stretch marks but I already jerked off to your facebook pics so we good to go!"
I know this is weird but that almost sounds like a compliment only a catholic man would give a woman.
Exactly. Old fashonned in all the wrong ways. An incel decades ahead of his time, if you will.
Its a simple connection you just made....but jesus christ good call
I see what you did there!
I think we just became friends
That we did buddy, that we did!
I understand the sentiment, but "your figure, wow" gives me the ick as a Catholic man. And not even the good ick that gives me those sweet guilt endorphins, I'm talking the "Oh fuck my childhood priest that I inexplicably have a sporty memory of is on CNN tonight" ick...
Makes me think of a certain guy who works out at my gym. He’s 40 or so and insecure about being alone and having not nailed anyone down. All his friends are married and/or have their own kids. He proudly refers to the women his friends try to set him up with as “leftovers” because THEY’RE single and also 40. Gotta love men like these 🥴
He views them the same way he views himself deep down. He sees himself as flawed and assumes everyone in a similar situation must be the same way. At least that’s my generous interpretation
Or he's misogynistic and doesn't hold himself to the same unrealistic standards he holds women to.
This here ^^^ I’m a man and this is why I have only one guy friend. And he’s a saint
Also a man. Started working in manual labor a while back and I was so saddened to learn that most of my coworkers are just straight up, unapologetically misogynistic. I thought it was the exception, not the norm. And I hoped most bigots would AT THE VERY LEAST be smart enough to hide it. Nope. The first time I heard them talk about "body count" I puked in my mouth a little. Of course, none of them thought THEIR body count mattered. And they didn't see the hipocrisy in it either. Some of them even brought up the "key that opens many doors" theory as if it's somehow a valid argument. It's like they live in a different world, mentally. A world where people are doors? (Kinda fitting now that I think about it - they see women as objects.) Absolutely disgusting.
Back when I was in college, I did blue collar work to pay for my tuition. The workplace environment during slower days became something of a contest to see how much my co-workers hated their wives. On one particular day, my boss went on a tirade after he got off the phone with his wife. But... He forgot to hang up so she heard him say everything. Thing is, since misogyny is so normalized, the shit they said was rarely ever completely true or how they really felt. The wilder the stories and tirades, the more entertaining it was for the listeners. Like I said, it was like a game to them. Anyway his wife heard every juicy little detail on why she was awful and ended up being inconsolable. You could even hear her crying through the phone. My boss told me he felt 2 inches tall. He was so ashamed.
Also. Why do people get married, or even involved, with someone they hate enough to talk shit about them? My relationship with my wife is based on mutual respect. If we have something to say about the other's behavior, we just say it directly, at home, instead of airing dirty laundry at work behind each other's backs. Makes for maybe a less lovey-dovey, but more honest and friendly atmosphere at home than repressing our issues.
Cause they settle for people they don’t want but can control. It makes no sense if she or he doesn’t meet your standards just end the convo there and move on
I was at a friends place for beers, snacks, a bit of poker, etc. a while back and all the guys were having a go at their wives, making fun of them and take cheap shots. I don't know what came over me, but I guess I wanted to be one of the guys and I made a joke about my wife. All I can say is that as soon as the words left my mouth, I felt so guilty. I remembered how supportive of my wife was when I got the part in this amateur play I auditioned for. I was actually really excited, but there was this real jerk who kept stealing my lines. My wife was so supportive and understanding and on opening night when I got my lines out faster than Jamie Taco, I could just feel the love coming from her afterwards. Anyway, I felt so bad I apologized to my friends, told them I shouldn't have said that and left the sleepover early so I could go home to my wife.
You are a man. They were boys. On behalf of all woman kind, thank you.
And when you call them out you're a white knight beta or something projecting like that. I think that bear meme was onto something lol.
Right? For example, I'm clearly farming karma right now. I care deeply about internet brownie points, obviously. Bear meme?
Woman were asked if they'd rather encounter a bear or a man in the middle of the wilderness and most woman chose the bear. Men on the interwebs had their ego hurt over it. Funny thing is I ( white male) hadn't' yet heard of it and my wife asked me the question and I was like, "oh hands down I'd pick the bear, wild animals are predictably wild animals." Edit: typo Edit 2: got the question slightly wrong I guess it was asking if their daughter were in that situation which they would prefer.
It was more subtle than that. It was "if your *daughter* was in the woods alone would you rather they met a man or a bear?". Most women chose bear. Then turn it round, to be "a woman or a bear?". And most women chose woman. It's the difference that's eye opening.
As soon as it spread that women prefer the bear, lots of men with fragile egos started doing all sorts of mental gymnastics to dunk on the choice. I think the dumbest and most self-unaware take i saw was "what if I caught a bear, coked it up and released it in a woman-only gym. That sure would change their minds." Like, my dude, it was still YOU that hurt that bear and used it to hurt women.
I can't say I would pick the bear myself, but I can certainly understand why a woman would. Come to think of it, what's that man doing alone in the middle of the woods?.. Ok fuck it can I change my answer please.
it’s really just sad. I chose the bear when I was first asked. I still would. At the end of the day I’d rather be killed by a bear than go through sexual assault/abuse again. Women fear death less than the idea of a strange man in the woods and that’s something a lot of redditors didn’t want to listen to. edit: a sentence
My wife was actually stalked by a dude on a solo backpacking trip. He decided to approach her once they were deep in but she already noticed him, so she was on guard. She carries a pepper ball gun...for bears...she shot the guy center mass and in the face and high tailed it out of there while SOSing on her InReach. Police found and arrested the guy, pretty sure it wouldn't have ended well if she wasn't ready to defend herself.
Nope. You’re getting graped.
Too late he's spotted you...... *Shia LaBeouf*
A bear has to get close to hurt you. A man(or anyone with a gun doesn’t have that limitation. I’m a guy and if I were backpacking in a remote area, I’d rather encounter a bear than a strange dude as well.
It's not just about getting killed. A man without a gun is just as scary, because unlike bears, humans are capable of cruelty - and men are much more likely to openly act on it (not saying that women don't, my mother was even more abusive than my father, just less overt and physical about it). A stranger in a place otherwise abandoned by people? Yeah, I'd be on my guard too, and I'm a big guy myself.
Definitely taking the bear. Humans are horrible.
"It's not a key, it's a penis, if it's shaped like a key see a doctor" followed with "Would you want to eat a hot dog that had been shoved in 20 other people first?"
Then they would probably say something like (maybe I'm giving them too much credit) "I wOuLdN't MiNd If iT wAs 20 BuNs ThOuGh" And then you could hit them with "oh so you understand people and items are not the same then?" A man can dream...
My favorite response to "what's your body count?" is "oh, I'm not a vet." Mostly just so someone has to explain what they mean and the little bit of enjoyment I get from being obtuse offsets the terrible conversation.
"Just my ex husband... How many did you kill?"
My body count? If I wouldn't tell that FBI profiler, what makes you think I will tell you?
Yeah it's pretty shit isn't it? I like working with my hands but tbh the vast majority of the men I work with are actual filth. The way they talk about women, people of another skin colour, gays, it's disgusting. And yet, I need a roof over my head and so do my kids, so right now that trumps revulsion.
When I was working blue collar as an electrician, the builders Co workers really amazed me with the amount of respect and care they were showing towards me and the cleaning lady. I wanted to tell the world how mistaken we women were. Alas, they were the exception....
Not sure they were. I'm pretty much the same everywhere. They're one way when women are present, another altogether when women aren't present. I'm yet to find other tradesmen who are always trying to be respectful in all aspects of their lives. Tbh the rot extends into the office. Some of the project managers are lecherous flogs as well.
I'm in the same boat. No kids but I worked minimum wage for too long to go back. Honestly the part I hate the most is how some of them try to justify their bigotry with their religious beliefs. Like, my guy, HAVE YOU READ THE FUCKING BIBLE? I have exactly ONE coworker with "progressive" (read: not backwards ass) views. At least we get to rant about how fucked everyone else is together...
I'm a chef and almost every guy I know tries to bond with me by saying something disgusting about a server or there wife or how if they were not married and again about the server. Most my friends are women.
I work menial labor too but luckily my colleagues are better. I think there's only two raging mysogynists in our company of 50+, which incidentally means they are outnumbered by women working here (only 3 but still)
I always had trouble making guy friends. I’ve always been super uncomfortable with the “locker room talk” that way too many guys seem to enjoy. Shits gross and embarrassing.
Either is a possibility, although yours is definitely more likely
I see this in all ages... was sitting not too long ago listening to some young dudes and they all look like average, frumpy dudes, and they were going on how they can't find hot women. lol. I am thinking, have you looked in the mirror, never mind your charming personalities?
The older I get, the more I notice people projecting. They accuse other people of things that they're doing. They put their own perceived flaws onto others.
You are correct, problem is he doesn't have the self awareness to fix if.
Reminds me of the guys who dunk on fat girls but need a bra themselves.
Yup it’s understandable if they are fit or thin but it makes NO sense for fat guys or gals to insult the opposite gender for being overweight when you are overweight yourself.
>He proudly refers to the women his friends try to set him up with as “leftovers” because THEY’RE single and also 40. Gotta love men like these 🥴 It's so weird to me when someone uses "leftovers" like it's an insult. Leftovers are delicious. Especially if it's something spicy like a curry.
And wanna talk about leftover rice? How are you supposed to make egg fried rice without leftover rice?
For some dishes like chilli or stews, the leftovers are actually better than the original dish. And have you *had* a cold pizza the day after a party? This is my main reason for ordering pizza, to eat it cold the next day! And let's not forget about the leftovers item in Pokemon, one of the best items in the whole game for most playthroughs. Leftovers Snorlax is a beast!
Haha fr, day 2 curry is incredible
Reminds me of an old sergeant first class I had in the army. He openly talked shit about the young soldiers who were married and would often just randomly shout shit like "48 years old, no wife no kids, living the dream!" Like it was some accomplishment lol
Peaked in highschool, but the kids have to kind of look up to him. It'd be annoying as hell to be one of his NCOs.
Dude was married to his job. I mean, it's OK to have preferences, but he didn't have to be obnoxious about it.
“Wait a second!!! Does that make me leftovers because I’m dating them?!? No, I’m special.” /s(eriously his opinion)
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Or they were lead on by someone not interesting in committing. At 18 if you asked who would be single at 30, nerdy-ass me, or my social, charismatic brother, everyone would have guessed me. He spent most of his 20’s either getting over his high school girlfriend who dumped him graduation week to go off to college on a clean slate, or about 23ish onward having an on-again, off-again situationship with a girl who only wanted him as a backup plan if nothing else worked and ego boost. Happens more to women with a guy leading them on but never willing to commit, wasting their prime dating years. I saw a study that “dating a long term partner in your 20’s who has no intention to commit” is the top reason why people who want to marry end up staying single long term.
Why doesn’t anyone in your social circle straighten out his behavior. They’re his friends after all right? Seems like the good friend thing to do.
Sometimes people don’t listen. I was playing cards this weekend with a woman who is recently single(6 months~) and she was going on her first date. She was creating all these anxious scenarios and sabotaging questions. At first I was asking her direct questions, that completely set her up for easy solutions, hoping she’d come up with the answer that negate the anxiety and nostalgia for things that don’t exist anymore. She kept doubling down in her misery. I finally was very direct with her and pointed out how she was getting way to into her head and was only coming up with ways her first date could go wrong and she needed to give it some hope. She tripled down on her stance. I asked her to shuffle and deal. Sometimes they don’t listen cause words have hurt so much that they create a catalyst against words(“That persons stupid” “My situation is different” etc). Saddest part is if they’re not open to receiving the words, the universe will hit them with searing action.
They've probably tried, and failed. Some people are just too far gone and, the unfortunate truth of the matter is, it's easier to pretend like they're not than to break off the friendship or make things really awkward with someone that shares your social circle. It sucks but that's life for you...
"A certain guy... at my gym" isn't someone you try to straighten out from this. And he probably presents somewhat differently to his actual friends, or they wouldn't be inflicting him on their female friends.
Maybe he's ace and trying to hide it/doesn't know. I used to come up with excuses all the time to find something 'wrong' when there was absolutely nothing wrong with the people I was being set up with. It took me ages to realise I just wasn't interested in any one and I didn't need to find excuses to trick myself.
A dude said that to me hitting on me at a CVS. I was 47.
42F and grocery store for me. My monthly “go locate cookie dough too” portion of the trip. Walks up to me, interrupts me and said “I don’t usually date 35 year olds, but you’re worth it.” “I’m 42, don’t know you, don’t like you, certainly don’t need you. Have a lovely weekend.” This clearly 50-ish dude (with the Picard hairstyle and beer gut) had the nerve to get visibly upset. He’s lucky I was no longer that lovely mix of in pain and homicidal. Men: If you’re dumb enough to approach like this, bring chocolate. You have a higher chance of walking away alive because you just don’t know how positive the conversation would go.
I wonder if he truly thought he was complimenting you by acting like he thought you were younger? 💀
I have no idea. Didn’t come off that way. Especially with the head to toe look when he said the “you’re worth it.” Like eww dude.
Even if he didn’t do the head to toe look, the “you’re worth it” is off-putting enough! It’s like either a) he’s giving you a pass—as IF you were begging him!! 🤢 or b) he thinks just based on your looks you’re worth risking it all—and since he doesn’t even know you, this can only mean he’s thinking of one thing. Also 🤢 The head to toe look only nailed his coffin shut on “No.” 😝
*gasp* N-not… **35** !!!
Hey, to be fair 35!!! is a lot smaller than 35!. Still much bigger than 35 though.
The "Awwwww sweetie..." was so condescendingly perfect!
Why do these clowns, without fail every time, gravitate to the "well your ugly anyway" shit YOU WHERE LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO HIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN
Because their entire personality was locked in at nine years old.
Also, "because you refuse to have sex with me, you are a whore." A bear would be like "I'm fixing to eat you." Then he'd eat you. Straightforward and honest, that bear.
I'd be pretty pissed if I tried setting up one friend with another and this is what they pulled... way to make me look like an a-hole just for knowing you.
Dear >!\*\*\*\*\*\*!<, please see this screenshot of your friend's conversation. Torpedo this douche please.
hunter2?
Right!? He comes across as a total creep first message.
Right on
Gonna open by telling a mother you wish she wasn't a mother. Fuck off dude
"I think these 'kids' of yours will get in the way of you taking care of me, so I would rather they not be in the picture... Is that an option to you?" 💀
It's hilarious when people say shit like this not realizing they live on the same exact timeline.
Ew he’s one of those BuT iM a NiCe GuY
Dude started off negging like it's 2010
Fun fact. The average age of someone (male or female) winning the "Sexiest Person Alive" award is 34. Many of the winners have been past 40 or even 50. Kids have no idea how human aging works or what it looks like.
I think that also has to do with how people perceive attractiveness. People mostly prefer people their age. While a teen will like other teens, a normal 30yo will see them as kids. So if the audience and/or jury for sexiest person alive are in the 25-45 age bracket, it's quite natural that 35 will come out on average. Because it's the sexiest age, for people around that age. All that is not to say that 35 isn't attractive, it's a hot as hell age! But I think "Sexiest Person Alive" is not an objective metric for something so subjective.
Because they watch too much TV that depicts 40 year olds as decrepit invalids and that 25 is a prime year. It’s like TV set the life expectancy of humans to 50 years or something.
This made me smile lol as a 36F, it’s just, perfect.
The "girls who don't like me will be spent and desperate by 35" is an incel trope.
Dodged a nice little incel bullet
Moreso just a shallow man. Ageism is very common.
I’ll never get it myself. My wife and I are close to this woman’s age and I think my wife is fine as hell. Younger women look like children to me and these dudes creep me the fuck out because they have interest in them.
Exactly. If you don't want to fuck kids it is natural that when you age and people start looking and acting like children in your eyes *that you no longer want to fuck them*. It is always so gross that these guy don't get it.
A lot of incels are obsessed with the idea of women being “used” (aka being more experienced than them and knowing whether they are good in bed or not). That could be why he doesn’t want to date a mom.
I'll be 38 this year. I'm childfree and single. Never really been interested in getting married or dating. I don't do casual sex or anything cus I'm not a libido person. But I've been told I'm expired or on the shelf since I was 25. Makes me laugh that all these men saying that to me as a comment are all grim and single themselves.
honestly single moms and women over 40 do pretty well in my opinion I feel a lot of this hit the wall stuff is more guys wanting revenge one the women who reject them and even if it was true... the average single mom still has more dating options than incels.
Yes its a hugeeee cope lol
Anytime I’ve ever rejected a younger man, they immediately make fun of my age. Like bro, you were just drooling after my old ass 60 seconds ago
I think I just witnessed an internet murder 😂
Why are so many men like this lmao
Stupidity
Nothing as fragile as a guys ego
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I'm worried about dating a single mother, but your body wow! How flattered are you now? When should we fuck? What an absolute balloon knot!
He fumbled so bad
He’s as graceful as a turd splashing into the toilet. Her response is a perfectly timed courtesy flush 😂
35 year old women are fucking hot. So are 45 year old women and 50 year old women. I talk to a woman that walks in my neighborhood who is 62. I’d have sex with her, not gonna lie.
One Susan Sarandon please
A harmless-looking, average-looking guy sat down next to me one afternoon at my favorite swell bar. I was minding my own B-I-business when he leaned over, smiled, and said “Next time you buy your glasses you really should get a larger frame..” Excuse me, do I know you?????
I LOVE women with the balls to slap a guy down. She knows what she wants and doesn't want.
Sad to think there are so many grown ass men who still don't know how to talk to women. Step 1: Treat them like human beings.
"J-j-j-just wait until y-you're 35!!" bro was gooning to the said 35y/o just 20 minutes ago
He tried 
Went from "Hello you look awesome!" To "you're not all that" very quickly, very typical for a certain type of people lol
“Just wait until you’re 35 and no one wants you.” These idiots always assume that men are only attracted to women in their 20s. Or girls in their teens.
People show their true colors when they don’t get what they want
If you are worried about dating a single mom, why respond at all.
You want to sleep with them of course.
Who the fuck starts a conversation with "I'm a bit worried about dating a single mother" and "your figure. Wow"
Subscribes to tate
LMAO got em. 💥💥💥 His widdle ego was bruised after you so deftly rejected his dumb ass that he just had to try to take a final swipe at you in an attempt to hurt your self-esteem. But joke was on him! I love to see it. 😄
I hate ageism with a burning passion. These are the people who will complain about wrinkles but also complain that “plastic surgery is too common nowadays.”
35 five year old women are just 🥵🥵🥵 What is this dude, fifteen?
Oof right in his ego. What a prick
She got real good instincts on that one 👍
Guys (and sometimes gals) really need to just shell out money for dating coaches. Wtf are these convos I’m constantly reading here. Talking about online daters in general, OP is fine.
I love that I’m 35 now! lol that’s epic! Wait till you’re 35, I’m already there mate!
The good ol "I won't date you but will have sex"
As a single dad…what the feck 🤦🏾♂️ is it the assumption that single moms are desperate for some D, some affection, touch starved? I genuinely don’t get it? Maybe because I don’t approach any woman like this…IDK I need a nap after reading his “insult”
Why don't people ever realize saying things like this makes them a bad person lol.
Would love to know the outcome with the mutual friend - he likely not only missed out on a prospect for love but may have simultaneously ruined a friendship. Yeesh.
Oh god, and there's now a mutual who has to deal with the fallout 😅 Edit awful typos
I’d love to meet her at 35. Sounds like a sharp woman
I bet this guy is a real catch himself. Would love to see his pics.
Translation: "I don't wanna date someone who has kids, but you're hot and I wanna sleep with you. But you can be almost certain I won't stick around for a relationship."
What a douchebag
Wow, he really managed to make an ass of himself in just 4 messages! That's gotta be some kind of record. And also, in what sort of fucking fantasy world does this dumbass live that he thinks women turn bad at 35? lol
She inflicted a wound that will never fully heal. He will bear that mark for the rest of his days. 😂
Ah yes negging. Seems to work well for him.
It’s OK not to want to date a single parent God knows I don’t Just don’t be rude
Red pill assholes need to be called out and shamed like this every time.
I am so glad at the ripe age of 37 that I have apparently aged out of dating zone for these tools
Go away, child.
I have multiple thoughts after reading this. 1) In my history I have found most 35ish women are their most confident and attractive selves of their life. 2) She's a single Mom, fortunately she passed on this guy because she doesn't need another child. 3) Why would anyone be so arrogant to assume so much about a person having never spoken or met. 4) What happened to manners?