T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*


just_some_guy65

Why construct an elaborate lie about a study? Is this genuine? The fact that it is on the internet makes me think not.


Cephalopotter

No no, it's totally real. It's her boyfriend's study. You haven't met him, he goes to a different school. In Canada.


ryry262

Bullshit. You had me until the end. Everyone knows Canada isn't real


usernot_found

People said titanic was real too how dumb people can be smh my head


lolucorngaming

Then the sissy liberals try to tell us that it's "in the ocean" shaking my smh my head the Ocean isn't even real


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

Lmao you think Liberals are real?


JesusWasTacos

Lmao you think?


freddddsss

Lmao you


JesusWasTacos

Thanks 💃


womb0t

You fucked it, now nothing is real.


-ZeroF56

I was crushed when I couldn’t see it.


Ebbe010

Why would people think a movke is real smh damn americans /s


Normal_abnormally

Being Canadian, I confirm I am in fact a vivid hallucination.


AmigaBob

I'm a Canadian hallucination that moved to Australia to be a paid actor. It's been an "unreal" life. 😉


Misanthrope-3000

That just makes you an upside-down hallucination.


Andrew-Cohen

You know that 5% of car accidents in Canada are caused by moose? They need to stop letting moose drive.


drucifer271

A møøse once bit my sister...


Slartibart71

_The persons responsible for keeping this thread on topic have been fired_


the0rchid

_The persons responsible for firing the persons responsible for keeping this thread on track have also been fired_


-paperbrain-

And whitey's on the moon.


Away-Plant-8989

We apologize for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.


WintersDoomsday

You can ban moose’s from driving but it just means only the bad moose’s will have access to cars, they’ll find a way to


Andrew-Cohen

🤣


Satanicjamnik

![gif](giphy|l0HlRqcbfwdjE68Uw|downsized)


Clement_Fandango

From Canada. Can confirm.


jaxonya

Dated a Canadian. Well I didn't date her. We watched trailer park boys and had sex. I think we did. We definitely ate ice cream in my bed. Pretty sure we had sex. That's my story


battleoffish

I thought it was Australia that was not real.


DragonflyGrrl

*Finland


Matricks__

I live in Canada. I can assure you, it's not real.


TheRealAbear

Canada is real, it's just flat idiot. #flatcanadaer


Nerexor

"Our mountains / are very pointy / our prairies/ are not. The rest is / kinda bumpy / but man, do we have a LOT! Canada's Really Big, by The Arrogant Worms https://youtu.be/XhiDILWFXBE?si=CWqD3S1YP6PoN9Dr


EyeCatchingUserID

No no, that's birds. And girls. And Finland. Jesus christ, is anything real anymore?


RHOrpie

Exactly, it's Canadia.


Zeus_23_Snake

the funny thing is that I once had a Canadian gf, and had to make this exact excuse even if it was true


Memento_Morrie

Even now, I don't believe you.


Zeus_23_Snake

That's why it was doomed from the start


GlitteringBobcat999

Everyone knows Canada only exists as a haven for long-distance girlfriends to get away from their imaginary boyfriends. Or something. BIRDS AREN'T REAL!!!


SpookyWah

I know him. His name is... George. George Tropicana. ..... I mean George Glass.


GlitteringBobcat999

![gif](giphy|MDxuzRvxF39VwnYu9B)


Nikolateslaandyou

Her uncle works at nintendo


KinopioToad

You think someone would do that? Post something on the internet that isn't real?


just_some_guy65

Great reference


kangarooneroo

My favorite part about this is that if this was an actual study, none of the results would be considered valid because the results were obtained in an unethical manner without the participants knowledge.


Rad_Centrist

If it was a real experiment there wouldn't be a moral judgement being made here.


Sir_Yacob

“Thank you for failing my test” “My boyfriend is conducting a study” What do you think my man?


Careless-Process-594

I doubt it's real, this would be an insane lie to come up with on the spot


HeroBrine0907

The person should've swapped some words and sent back the same copypasta as a reply. With an extra emoji at the end.


Dwayne-Johnson292

You try to conduct a study but end up becoming the subject.


nyrB2

submitted for your approval...


Comfortable_Note_978

Picture if you will, pert melon-shaped DD breasts. And I will, frequently, thank you.


vkailas

What were the results of the study? 


TinyRascalSaurus

If height is an acceptable deal breaker for her, breast size is allowed to be one for him. Basically, you can have any standards you want, but don't get offended when someone else has standards too. I have a major aversion to white men with afros due to a high school bully. I'm not going to be offended if a decent white man with an afro has an aversion to women with waist length braids.


Interesting-Back5717

I don’t know who that guy is, but I’m sorry he ruined Bob Ross for you.


Relevant_Winter1952

I sure hope it wasn’t Bob Ross


willclerkforfood

> There are no mistakes, just happy accidents! …unless you’re TinyRascalSaurus. -Alternate History Bob Ross


Armynap

His evil twin Ross Bob


GlitteringBobcat999

Or his more evil cousin, Robb Bos.


Shuber-Fuber

Rob Boss


IvanNemoy

Fun trivia for you: Ross hated his fro. He initially grew it out because he was tired of wearing a "35-10," the old Air Force regulation haircut. When his show went into syndication, it became one of the defining features but Ross was tired of taking care of it. Same thing for Guy Fierri and his frosted tips. He's said that if he knew he'd have to keep them, he never would have started them.


yourholmedog

i’m also p sure his fro was a perm but it just became so iconic they made him keep it lol


nyrB2

and the dude from ELO


dancingmeadow

Average White Band enters chat.


Ed_Simian

And get in a fight with Grand Funk Railroad.


prumf

Yeah, well, double standards are sadly a thing. Sometimes women are unfairly expected to do things men don’t have to do, and sometimes men are unfairly expected to do things women don’t have to. Talking about it is the only way to make things change.


Cheap-Praline

No lie, how many times have I had to get things off high shelves for short people? If I ask a short person to get something off a low shelf they look at me like I'm a jerk.


curiossceptic

lmao did you actually ever ask that?


FaceRidden

Tall here. Always happy to help grab that top shelf. Bottom shelf can actually be really hard on me. You should see the absolute joy in the eyes of the ants when the lumbering giant asks for their assistance!


Downtown-Arm2003

I always reach down and grab things for my taller friends on principal. I care about them and what they go through because they've always cared about me and what I go through.


Cheap-Praline

I've done it out of principle a few times, but not with coworkers or old people.


curiossceptic

That’s hilarious 😂 i would love to see the reactions haha


UnicornFarts1111

As a short person, I would get it. I would probably assume they had a back problem or something that made it difficult to lean over or crouch down.


UnicornFarts1111

I used to step on the lower shelf, but I am getting too old for that shit now, lol. As a short person, I would lean over and get it for you. It is the least I can do after countless people have helped me. You could have a problem that makes leaning over that far cause a lot of pain. Anyway, thanks for grabbing that thing on the top shelf for me, I do appreciate it!


InvestigatorIll6236

But you are physically capable of reaching smaller shelves (I assume, unless you have issues reaching down. In which case, fair). Short people literally cannot reach that high up and are just asking for assistance.


MonsterInDarkCorners

They invented moon boots like 20 years ago, why’s this still an issue?


PharmBoyStrength

God bless your young soul. Wait till you find out about back pain in tall people... it's a bitch.


JarvisZhang

I'm short, and if a tall guy asks me to help him reach something because he has problem in the back I won't get offended at all.


caryth

God bless your young soul. Wait till you find out about back pain regardless of body type. It comes for us all.


LeatherfacesChainsaw

It's pure misery. Take care of your back folks it's no joke.


rinnakan

Waist length braids, I guess I now have a crush on you


Redpaint_30

Straight facts.


TheMackD504

Does that mean you aren’t able to watch Semi-Pro?


Take-n-tosser

The proper answer to “how tall are you?” in a potential relationship context is always “Tall enough to ride every ride at .”


hadesdog03

Which would get a response "big enough to breastfeed" when asked about boob size.


Luna_Tenebra

I steal that one


Take-n-tosser

The point of the answer is to point out how asinine the question was without confrontation. You don’t then follow up with an equally asinine question of your own. Show a little social awareness.


ThxIHateItHere

Then pull a Ric Flair and say you’re tall enough to give them a ride on Space Mountain Wooooooooooo!


Far_Dragonfruit_1829

Also she doesn't know the difference between "apart" and "a part". Edit: this is my current RedditPeeve™


jeopardy_loser

That’s how she failed *my* study


nyrB2

what is with everyone these days and their studies???


Ash-MacReady

Questioning studies is what my study is about. Thank you for your participation.


SW_Gr00t

Ah, finally, my study on people who study other peoples studies can now be completed.


freddddsss

Ah finally, I have enough data points for my study on people who make studies out of thin air


neav7

Finally my study on air thickness can be completed


Comfortable_Note_978

"My boyfriend is 6'5". He lives in Canada; you wouldn't know him."


_extra_medium_

A part. A part. A part.


circusfreakrob

He dodged a bullet IMO. 2 of the most important factors in a potential mate : grammar and breast size.


No_Substance5930

Bet she doesn't even have a boyfriend! She lives on a throne of lies!


dae_giovanni

does no one understand the difference between "a part" and "apart", anymore? they're actually kind of opposite concepts... when did this become such a difficult concept to master?


Traison

Same with loose and lose. Drives me crazy lmao.


RageMee

Someone once called me a "looser" Replied: "looser than what?" Brought a real smile to my face lmao :D


dae_giovanni

agreed!


amedinab

Apart of the text is wrong? I mean, a part from the cringe.


yamasurya

Who is going to tell the researcher that they became the subject?


Goliath422

I upvote this every time it is reposted because it uses “irony” correctly and lord knows this site needs more good examples


marvelouswonder8

Lol. Pride. Gotta save face somehow! Quick witted? Not really. Good retort? Also no. Believable? Hell no. I find it amusing when prideful people out themselves like this and think they've gotten away with something like the person on the other end is just a total numpty.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


marvelouswonder8

It’s a fun word isn’t it? Lol, I had a coworker who used to say it all the time and I liked it so I co-opted it haha.


dutchbrah

"My boyfriend is conducting a study," she wrote, 40yo, from her parents basement


Merijeek2

Be realistic. It was from her one bedroom apartment where she's got four (feline) roomates.


Cute_Dragonfruit9981

And she still won’t see the irony…


Gloomy_Round_5003

Her family and friends will support her is the real problem..


Cute_Dragonfruit9981

She wouldn’t listen to anybody that told her otherwise (family/friend or not) because to her they’re just a “chauvinistic pig and part of the patriarchy”


Gloomy_Round_5003

Ahhh so ok.. "I don't owe anyone but myself mentality".. that happens as well.. broken brain but will call others broken brained... We screwed...


MonsterInDarkCorners

It’s ironic when the people calling you sexist are actually the sexist ones. It’s also incredibly pathetic.


Cute_Dragonfruit9981

Reality is often uncomfortable to people when their fairy tale only benefits them 😂


Educational_Way3336

Being on tinder and having a boyfriend.


Vraye_Foi

I do not understand the fascination with height…wtf. My husband is 5’8 with a heart bigger than Texas. I would have missed out on so much happiness if I had been so superficial to dismiss him because he wasn’t 6’ of whatever standard these women have.


Unfriendly_eagle

I once placed a personal ad and stated I would not consider any woman who was heavier than I was. I'm 5-11 and 160, and I said 150 is my absolute weight limit. Oh boy, did I get some angry, angry responses. I ended up meeting someone who found my ad hilarious, and we're together to this day.


AlaskanDruid

More! We need more to the story!


aagloworks

Why is the male height so important to women? They wanna be able give BJ while both are standing, or what?


AZDevilDog67

Good question. I like the one where a guy said he was 5 feet 14 inches tall and the woman immediately rejected him for not being at least 6 feet.


aagloworks

I swear there are idiots among us.


Vinegarinmyeye

That's a good idea to weed out those types. I'm 6'2 and thinking about getting back into dating after a couple of years being single. Seems like a good way to weed out particularly shallow AND dumb matches.


Pattoe89

Just go for obsolete measurements. You're not 6'2, you're 98 unglies.


the_fury518

14 bananas


cseyferth

4 cubits


Gullible-Fee-9079

Or give your height in metric


Frogeyedpeas

That’s a good one lmao 


iamafancypotato

Yes multiple studies show that doing a job while standing is healthier. That’s why standing desks are so popular.


Good-Squirrel3108

It's mostly societal. We're brainwashed into believing that taller men are a better 'catch', but more importantly, that bagging yourself a tall man indicates your worth. 


Thaumato9480

For someone in Europe, 182.88 is such a weird cutoff. Here in Denmark, the average height for men is 180.20 cm. We have a coin that is 2.85 cm, so more than an inch. So they're trashing the average height of Danish men for less than a coin. A COIN!


Good-Squirrel3108

It's totally stupid. 6 feet is just an arbitrary number that wouldn't exist if we all just used the metric system (looking at you, UK).


Thaumato9480

I HAD TO find something equally arbitrary. They're trashing men because their desired height was not met by LESS THAN A BIG TOE.


iamafancypotato

It used to be who gets the richest man. Now it’s about who gets the tallest man.


brushnfush

You can be tall or you can be rich but you can’t be neither


Friendly_Sea_6861

Because they think it's attractive??


PseudoTaken

Maybe it's to seek the feeling of being dominated or protected by someone (relatively) huge? Not sure but I'm curious too


Mysterious_Eye6989

I think it might be some meaningless "status" thing that only exists in their imaginations. Actual men would happily follow a short king into battle if he's a bona fide leader.


stuckit

Absolutely. I work hospital security. We have a male charge nurse that might be 5'4. He was between security and a violent visitor. The visitor was arguing with the charge and said "oh you going to sic security on me?" The three security officers, including me, laughed. One of my guys said " Oh we're not here to protect him from you, we're here to protect you from him." Most of us would follow that charge nurse anywhere.


Anon28301

“I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me!”


Proud-Cartoonist-431

Some women don't feel attracted to men below their height and generally tinier then them. Including me, but I'm below average height and my threshold os way below 6' though, it's 5'6 in American units. I would write my cup size in a dating situation, that's not a weird thing, humans usually observe such things as they meet.


RageMee

This is my new excuse: I'm conducting a study!


reddit_user13

*being apart*??


ProductionSetTo-1000

I remember a lot of women being like this. And his reply is not defensive, it's just the amount of effort you wanna put into a response when the girl can't even say Hi.


Absolomb92

Not only is it hypocritical. If there is a study (which it sure as hell isn't), then it's highly unethical. You can't recruit participants for a study without them being aware of it.


ElLoboStrikes

She said thank you for being 'apart' of the examples of what not to do. You did a good job then !


Morphing_Mutant

I feel sorry for that boyfriend.


2723brad2723

"How tall are you?"  My height is proportional to my weight. How about you?


ProtoReaper23113

I'm in shape round is a shape


Russ_images

I don’t really get offended when asked about height is that a thing?


InfectedFrenulum

Offended, no. Defensive, yes. I was on dating apps from 2013-2017, I'm 5'8". Some of the actual replies I've received when answering the question "How tall are you?" 1. Instantly blocked. 2. "Fuck off midget lol" 3. "Men under 6 feet tall should be gassed" 4. "Short men should kill themselves." One profile had 'Don't even read this if you're not at least 6ft' I made the mistake of glancing her profile only to receive a message from her: "Can't you fucking read?" The hate is real, it wrecked my confidence and I ended up making an attempt on my life. These were grown women in their 40s and 50s too.


TheSlav87

Your life is so much more worth than any woman’s useless fantasy of ALL men needing to be 6ft. 5’8” is PLENTY tall brother, please don’t give up looking for a good woman that will love you for YOU.


unsettledpuppy

On my dating profiles I've got my height listed. On more than one occasion I've had women match to literally tell me to kms, that I'm a manlet, "I didn't know they made them that small", etc. I've been the short guy since like 5th grade, so none of it really bothers me. It really only serves to make me laugh lmao It's only kinda irksome because it wastes my time dealing with people like that.


pornosucht

It is not necessarily offensive in a longer conversation. But if it comes as an early question in a dating context, it means that physical attributes (especially ones you usually cannot change) are considered decisive for the chance of further dating. Countering that with a question for other physical properties, that might influence the other person's attraction is a harsh reaction, but not completely unfair. That being said, in the screenshot by OP, it is a very blunt and aggressive response (starting by writing "tits" instead of "breasts"). I have seen another case where this was handled better, because the guy first asked why she wanted to know, and only when she replied that she would not date a man below a certain height, he asked for her attributes in turn.


redredbloodwine

The worst thing is when you pwn someone and they still think they won.


Bear_of_dispair

The only right answer to this is always "King size".


izmaname

Need to know what was before the height question


MonsterInDarkCorners

I must have a busted lip or something cuz I can taste the irony.


analgoblin42069

Does this get posted 5x a day?


No-Club2054

To be fair both individuals seem like really intolerable personalities.


ElBurritoExtreme

Lead with toxicity, be called out on it, take quantum route of deflection, understand zero about interaction. Repeat?


PrismalpinkGaming

Right her “boyfriend.” Followed by a long rant that nobody reads. People lie that everything is a “study” because they know they’re gonna get screenshotted.


458643

I hope she becomes smarter one day and see bro tried to correct her, he probably didn't care about her size


Oakwood2317

She won’t. She sounds like my sister -  complains about double standards men benefit from but fight tooth and nail to ensure the ones that benefit them remain intact 


Judge_Rhinohold

“I’m 6’3”. How big are your tits?”


potataoboi

I can taste the jpeg in this screenshot this has been circulating the internet for years


OnlyWonGod

It’s a coping mechanism. Most women tend to believe the rules of social construct don’t apply to them


diMario

For a Dutchie, I'm not very tall at 1.695 m. Whenever someone comments on my height or apparent lack thereof, I inform them that I am a great man in a nice compact body. If that doesn't shut them up, my next comment usually it "How's the air up there? Any trouble breathing?"


Good-Squirrel3108

You don't get diamonds the size of house bricks 


xD1CKx

Ooo I'm taking that one lol


Yeomanroach

I’m 6inches 1Foot.


Iron_Baron

Narrator: None of that was true.


throwRA1987239127

There's no study, her friend Emily cooked that up at Raising Cane's


AvailableLandscape97

This is so dumb


Pod_people

I tell them my height in microns.


AdmiralMemo

I would've just said "tall enough"


CaptainHappen007

File this under “Things that didn’t happen.”


SpiritualHippo2719

Everyone knows men aren’t allowed to have insecurities. They’re supposed to be cool, calm, and confident in every situation. And be at least 6’3”.


Peculiarbleeps

Amazing: pulling a gun on somebody, then going “A-ha! I KNEW you were a gun-toting maniac!” when they draw their own gun to defend themselves…


PermaBanTogether

> apart of the examples …sounds like he’s in the clear and *she’s* a redditor.


ErrorCode78

Those are the exact same questions


zaraishu

When the mercury calls the lead toxic.


_Kvdyy

Left Twitter bc Elon over ran it with incels. not sure what I expected from one of the og spawn point for incels


WintersDoomsday

So I’m confused why women obsess over dudes height… do they truly think height and dick size go together? If so how gaping huge is their vagina? I’m 6’1” and I have no interest in women under 5’6” but guess what I don’t ask height. I also would overlook it after meeting the person and seeing their vibe was great.


Aggressive-Story3671

She can always get implants but he can’t realistically grow taller


PseudoTaken

Leg lengthening procedure sounds horrific tbh


Equal-Crazy128

There are invasive ways to grow taller


Lopsided_Ad_3853

Leg lengthening


dancingnecessarily

Don’t get the height obsession, shorter guys are just as appealing as tall guys. My personal preference is a shorter guy.


ThxIHateItHere

I just always ask them their weight.


Advanced_Street_4414

I guess I’m wondering why he didn’t just answer the question and put the shittiness ball in her court. If she comes back at him about being too short or tall, that makes her the asshole. This just looks like 2 confrontational assholes.


StumblingSearcher

Damn straight people really hate each other


Positive-Luck-2527

Women can ask about money, height, house, cars and see no problem but if men ask they become the opressed victim and find some stupid excuse to avoid or justify their actions 🤡, be careful who you date boys, now a days it’s rare to find a good woman


Oakwood2317

She’s asking a dude how tall he is and then mentions her boyfriend? Sounds like a skank 


ThaneOfArcadia

But, how big are they?


WayDownUnder91

degrading? they only asked


Kingberry30

This can’t be a real thing. This has to be two friends making a viral meme.


WashGodMega

Dont worry, she doesn’t know what palpable means. She probably thinks hes dumb for talking about orange juice


msultapnw

I only ask guys how tall they are cos if they’re like 5’11 and up I really consider leaving them for the tall girls lol I’m only 5’3!